Assigned Meaning

Summary

The Friend Zone — “Assigned Meaning”

Date: February 19, 2025
Hosts: Dustin Ross, Hey Fran Hey, Assanté Podcast: Loud Speakers Network

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Overview

In this introspective and dynamic episode, the Friend Zone trio explores the tension between trying to assign meaning to life's chaos and accepting that sometimes, things might simply “just happen.” Catalyzed by Fran’s personal experience of having her cherished car totaled in a senseless accident, the show becomes a meditation on meaning, randomness, frustration, resilience, and the power of community support. The hosts weave together topics including social hypocrisy, handling unexpected hardships, philosophical outlooks like nihilism and absurdism, and of course, their favorite music and TV picks of the moment.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Hypocrisy in Current Events: Utah’s Flag Ban

[01:20 - 08:37]

• Dustin opens by venting about Utah lawmakers introducing a law to ban Pride flags in schools—while still permitting Nazi and Confederate flags for “curriculum” purposes.
• Dustin points out the mind-boggling hypocrisy and the real harm of such legislation:

  “Out in Utah where everybody look alike because they didn’t cross lines... There’s so much immorality... But this is what y’all want to waste taxpayer money legislating about? It’s ridiculous.” (03:53)

• The hosts discuss the broader social impact, “creating a climate of hate and tension amongst everyday citizens with this bullshit” (06:32, Dustin).

2. Weekend Recaps: Turbulence and Travel Woes

[08:39 - 14:34]

• The crew reminisce about the “Reed” live show (shout-out to Kid Fury and Crystal) and how live podcasting history is shaped by Black queer creators.
• Asanté talks about recent travel hiccups—canceled flights and flight safety fears—reflecting generalized modern anxiety:

  “It’s a very scary time. And these don’t care about us dying... Is it just being reported more, or is it really happening more?” (12:53 - 13:19)

3. Fran’s Testimony: When Chaos Hits Home

[15:14 - 76:01 (main segment, resumes at 94:00)]

The Incident

• Fran recounts how her parked, custom-ordered car was destroyed by a drunk (and possibly high) driver in the middle of the night—a woman the police treated with suspicious leniency.

  “She barreled... It’s like she was on the highway. I have no idea what planet she was on.” (63:30, Fran)

• The hosts discuss their anger and disillusionment with law enforcement’s delayed response and soft treatment:

  “The only reason they even asked her, ‘Have you been drinking?’ was because my partner went up to the cop and said, ‘Yo, this woman is belligerently drunk and y’all haven’t asked her anything.’” (66:43)

Reflections on Meaning and Chaos

• This sets the stage for the central conversation: How do you process events that seem unfair, arbitrary, or meaningless?
• Fran connects this to past discussions about nihilism (the idea that nothing means anything) and absurdism (the struggle to find meaning in a chaotic world).
• The crew ponders the psychological need to assign meaning to events, even if the universe might simply be random:

  “I’m someone that finds meaning in everything... But sometimes, kind of like the absurdism philosophy, we try to assign meaning to things without it ever making sense... and it can almost drive you crazy.” (84:10 - 85:30, Fran)

Coping, Community, and Perspective

• Dustin and Asanté offer support—affirming Fran’s anger, encouraging her to feel her feelings fully, and suggesting practical next steps (e.g., legal action).

  “You have every right to be mad than a motherfucker that this happened.” (83:54, Dustin)

• The conversation expands: reflect on how hardship and loss, whether small or catastrophic, shape the best parts of ourselves—even if we would never choose these experiences.

  “It’s the paradox of pain—painful experiences have made the best versions of you at the same time.” (115:09, Fran)

• The trio embraces both: sometimes, things are just “random as hell,” but community, self-awareness, and reframing hurt can still be useful responses.

  “I don’t believe God is mean... If any message is coming, maybe it’s that you’re in a position to handle this without the anxiety of securing resources. That’s a blessing.” (110:13, Dustin)

4. Philosophical Deep Dive: Nihilism & Absurdism

[59:05 - 61:36; 90:16 - 117:55]

• Fran revisits their previous episode on “Parable of the Huckabees,” exploring nihilism, absurdism, and the human compulsion to organize chaos into meaning.

• The group debates:

  • Is “everything random” a relief? Or does it increase anxiety?
  • Do the hardships and unpredictabilities of adulthood (or society at large) teach us useful lessons, or are they sometimes just “meaningless side-swipes?”

• Asanté summarizes: “Sometimes... a bunch of shit just be happening, and you really have no control over it.” (92:16)

• Ultimately, there’s a consensus for “both/and” thinking: assign meaning if it helps, allow randomness if it’s honest, and always extend yourself (and your friends) grace.

5. Big Announcements & Black Business Spotlight

[18:08 - 36:56]

Dustin's One-Man Comedy Show

• Dustin announces his first stand-up–based solo show, “Dustin Ross Live: FSPD,” at City Winery (March 17, 2025):

  “It’s literally something I have dreamed about... Anything that we strengthen individually just makes The Friend Zone better.” (19:59, Dustin)

• Meet-and-greet details and support info are provided: “Link in bio!”

Patreon Wednesday Wind Down

• Asanté promotes their regular live Patreon “Wind Down” sessions and the exclusive content available to members.

Black Business of the Week: Nafees Innovations

• Fran spotlights @NafisInnovation, founded by Nafees Norris—the first African American to graduate in biopharmaceutical process engineering.
  • Focus: Providing STEM workshops, mentorship, and accessibility to underrepresented youth in Philadelphia.

  “Some people are really out here doing the work.” (34:22, Fran)

6. TV & Music Recommendations

[36:56 - 56:00; 135:03 - end]

TV Land:

• Wayward Pines (Hulu): Recommended by a listener as a binge-worthy mystery.
• Sex Lives of College Girls: Dustin and Fran praise its honest, non-cheesy coming-of-age storytelling, especially Renee Rapp’s performance.
• White Lotus (Season 3): Dustin reviews premiere impressions and raves about Natasha Rothwell’s return.
• Reality show recaps: Love is Blind (Minneapolis season), Married to Medicine, Real Housewives of Potomac.

Music (“Mr. Music Man” segment):

• New music highlights:
  • Tyla ft. Sean Paul – "Push to Start" (Remix)
  • Halle Bailey – "Back and Forth"
  • Drake x PartyNextDoor – Sexy Songs for You (mixed critical reaction)
  • SZA – "My Turn" (from SOS Deluxe)
  • Larry June & 2 Chainz – Life is Beautiful (especially “Colossal”)
  • Nicole Bus – “Rain”
  • Infinity Song – “Sinking Boat”
  • Chris Stapleton – “Without Your Love”
  • Danielle Farrar – “The Shepherd”
• The trio reflect on the continuing strength of women in R&B and contemporary soul, and the power of music as solace in hard times.

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• “You’re trying to learn. You’re trying to categorize experience. My mind is going to try to reconcile it in every way possible so it makes sense.” (102:01, Fran)
• “You don’t have to legitimize your feelings... thankfully, you’re keeping it in perspective and you’re reasonable, but you have every right to be mad as fuck about this.” (83:54, Dustin)
• “Sometimes, a bunch of shit just be happening and you have no control over it... you set your life up to insulate certain things, but it doesn't insulate you from the real.” (90:16-90:49, Asanté)
• “I’m not saying you make bad decisions and just be reckless... but I don’t want y’all to beat yourselves up for having a car in the first place.” (101:19, Dustin)
• “The paradox of pain—painful experiences have made the best versions of you at the same time.” (115:09, Fran)

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Important Timestamps

• 01:20 — Dustin’s “Hypocrite Highlight”: Utah’s flag ban and American hypocrisy
• 08:39 — Weekend recaps; travel anxiety and reads on Black queer podcast history
• 15:14 — Fran’s car is totaled; immediate reactions begin
• 59:05 — Philosophical overview: nihilism, absurdism, and assigning meaning
• 76:01 — Wellness: Community, education, and Black excellence (Nafees Innovations)
• 135:03 — Mr. Music Man: New music, TV, and song selections
• 158:17 — Infinity Song featured in “Listens Lately” segment
• 162:53 — Shoutouts, affirmations, and sign-off

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Tone & Language

• The conversation is candid, irreverent, and emotionally honest, filled with humor, cultural references, and the easy camaraderie of long-time friends.
• The group is unafraid to use strong language while discussing injustice, absurdities, and the messiness of the world, yet always pairs this critique with a sense of warmth, support, and resilience.

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Conclusion

“Assigned Meaning” is a compelling episode that models how to navigate chaos, loss, and randomness with real talk, philosophy, and community. By combining critiques of society’s hypocrisy, personal storytelling, deep philosophical questioning, and pop culture joy, the Friend Zone illuminates the ongoing work of finding—if never fully pinning down—meaning in a world that often refuses to make sense.

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To connect:

• Patreon-exclusive content: patreon.com/friendzonepodcast
• Black Business of the Week: nafisino.com
• For Dustin's comedy show: Link in bio (@lookatdustin) and citywinery.com
• Continue the conversation: #TheFriendZone

Transcript

[Fran]

So I was just parking my car and then I saw you. The Gecko. Huge fan. I'm always honored to meet fans out in the wild. The honor is mine.

[Asante]

I just love being able to file.

[Fran]

A claim in under two minutes with the Geico app. Well, the Geico app is top notch. I know you get asked this all the time, but could you sign it? Sign what? The app. Yeah, sure. Oh, that means so much. Oh, it rubbed off the screen when I touched it. Could you sign it again? Anything to help, I suppose. You're the best.

[Asante]

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[Dustin]

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[Asante]

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[Fran]

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[Dustin]

Welcome to the Friends.

[Fran]

I'm Francesco, also known as K. Friend.

[Asante]

Hey, my name is Asante. This is the Friend Zone.

[Dustin]

Let's start the show.

[Fran]

That was a question.

[Asante]

Do you hear me?

[Dustin]

Yeah, that's right. And this week the question is, what the hell is wrong with y'? All? Okay, yeah. You know who we asking? Do you know who the we asking is? Well, one of the we asking because it's a line of them this week, right? I think we all on the same page. We don't give a this week. Okay, that's that. Now look, for our reasons. Now, the I'm talking to right now is Utah lawmakers, okay? Utah lawmakers who, according to the neighborhood talk. Excuse me. Shout out to the neighborhood talk. Shout out to you, Kyle. At the neighborhood talk especially. So look, they said a new Utah. Loud. A new Utah. Why is Utah.

[Asante]

You? Because it's Utah. You can actually rhyme Utah and law, which is crazy, right?

[Dustin]

But my. The phonetically, you know what I'm saying? I'm looking at the H and the W and they're registering differently in my brain and. But when I speak them, sonically, they sound the same. So it's just a mind. Yeah, it's for people that went to school anyway. Okay. A new Utah law is looking to completely ban pride flags from being shown in schools whatsoever. But that same law would still allow Nazi and Confederate flags to be shown if they're apply. If they are part of the curriculum that you're teaching at that time. Right now, to put a name on it, Republican lawmaker in Utah, Trevor Lee he told the House committee, According to the Salt Lake Tribune. He said there are instances where in classrooms you have curriculum that is needed to use flags such as World War II, the Civil War, you may have a Nazi flag, you may have a Confederate flag. And so you are allowed to display those flags as part of the curriculum. And that is okay. Now, after receiving backlash on it, he said there's a difference between displaying flags in the curriculum when you're teaching on them. You don't censor history here.

[Fran]

Interesting.

[Dustin]

But I did exactly what the you trying to do with their pride.

[Fran]

And when the. Did a teacher take out a flag?

[Asante]

Right.

[Dustin]

We learned that. We learned the flags that represent different countries. We learned those and we understood what the Confederate flag meant. And contextually to American history.

[Fran]

My teacher come flying one in during.

[Dustin]

You understand what I'm saying, right? So that's why I'm like these. Utah is full of. Now this is what I mean about what's wrong with Utah though. As many as it is walking around in rubber boots. They cousins and sisters and brothers all up the ass and coochie having ass babies walking around like, let's talk about them nasty ass. Ty. You're gonna have to beep that. Sorry, but it just came out. Let's talk about them nasty ass Mormons. That was what was like. What was it called? Squeezing and settling. What was they doing? Soaking where they were literally putting their in. They were inserting their genitals into each other and then stood and steal so that it didn't count as actual. That's how slow and horny the are in Utah. And of all with all of that Sodom and Gomorrah ass going on in Utah, this is what you are worried about. They over there drinking as much soda as they can.

[Fran]

Oh my.

[Dustin]

I have never seen a soda shops. The cup had that girl, her cup had backpack straps. I've never seen anything like it. And they drew in that to try to get around a rule. It don't make no sense. So. And how many accounts have we heard, all jokes aside of freaky, disgusting ass child predators, all kind of shit. Oh. Out in Utah where everybody look alike because they didn't cross lines. That's what I'm trying to tell you. There's so much immorality against whatever kind of scale you want to put it against that is running rampant through the state of Utah right now. But this is what y' all want. To waste taxpayer money legislating about is ridiculous. So y' all Utah. I like that. That's Bars, right, y'?

[Asante]

All?

[Dustin]

And that's today's hypocritical highlight, highlight, highlight. Now with that being said, I want to welcome everybody to the friends on your weekly look into all things mental health, mental wellness, and mental hygiene. Because who in the hell want to be in Utah?

[Fran]

That's it. Period.

[Dustin]

That really had pissed me off when I seen that. You know, I never gave a about wearing no rainbow nothing or having no rainbow flag. Y' all ain't never seen me with none of that shit. But I don't hate on it. And I also understand what the purpose of it of it is, why it exists even.

[Fran]

I'm not signifying in locations that it's friendly, like it's important.

[Asante]

Which is why it makes it even more stupid that you wouldn't want to talk about something that's a celebration of something good and you want to fight to keep displaying symbols of evil, of hatred.

[Dustin]

Especially in Utah where everybody's top lip is stuck to their gums. You know what I'm saying? All of that, you know, all those kind of things. It might be a sixth or seventh toe or finger phalange of some sort. All of that goes on because the chromosomes and the DNA is so French braided together in Utah because of people turning a blind eye to things, but a hard dick to it. And that's what I'm talking about. So stop with the, you know, holier than thou finger pointing and all of this that y' all trying to do. Weaponize. Megan. Y' all are trying to create a climate of hate and. And tension amongst everyday citizens with this bullshit that y' all are doing because people read these headlines and take them as law and think that that extreme, whatever that you're reporting on is the norm or the reality and it creates chaos. And I'm sick of it. And so am I. Remember the other clip? And that's on this levias. So yeah, that's all. They just pissed me off. I'm hot. I'm hot right now. They didn't piss me off. 38 hot. You know what I'm saying.

[Fran]

An awful lot in those chambers, man.

[Dustin]

They think about it more than I do about.

[Fran]

With all the going on. That is all we talk about. Interesting.

[Dustin]

It's so crazy to me, man. It is so crazy to me. Especially again in Utah. Okay, let's just leave it there. I ain't even gonna start naming names. But you know where I was going with that?

[Asante]

It's just a mind fuck to sit back and think about all of the things that hold society back, that have nothing to do with nothing with nothing. Like what?

[Dustin]

Yeah, and then people read. Like I said, they read those things and they run with it and create all kinds of things in their head that impact the way they deal with the people that are around them, and it gets dangerous. You know what I'm saying? It's like that Darkwing Duck theme song, let's get dangerous. That's what this is. When there's trouble, you call dwarf. Yeah, that's. That's what this is.

[Fran]

So dark. Wink. Duck.

[Dustin]

How y' all doing? Hey, friend, how you doing?

[Fran]

I've been better, man. I have been better. How are your weekends?

[Dustin]

My weekend was incredible.

[Fran]

How was Reed live? Shout out to Krystal. Shout out to Kid Fury. I hated that I could not be there. It was a.

[Dustin]

You were definitely miss, but I love y'.

[Fran]

All.

[Dustin]

The people asked about you and how much they love you and shit.

[Fran]

Thank you.

[Dustin]

And they was very happy to see me and Tay, and it made them miss you even more. Honey, we was overshadowed, okay? They wanted. They wanted that friend thing. You know what I'm saying? You know, I love to see it, so. But, yeah, the real life was great. Shout out to Kid Fury and Crystal, who started all this 12 years ago. Damn real talk. People be trying to, like, ignore them and erase them. Typical with black queer history. People try to ignore their impact and erase them.

[Fran]

Displayed early in the show.

[Dustin]

They threw that brick into the world of podcasting. Much like Marsha P. Johnson, they threw that.

[Asante]

Sometimes.

[Dustin]

You got to throw that brick sometimes. You know what I'm saying? And Kid Fury and Crystal threw that brick with the Reed. So shout out to them. In 12 years of trend setting and podcasting, hell yeah. Yeah. But it was great, and it was good to see everybody.

[Fran]

I miss all our friends.

[Asante]

It was a bomb show. Dustin looked amazing as he went around and did questions.

[Fran]

Oh, cute.

[Asante]

You know, Fury and Crystal, who are entertaining as always. The weather in New York was crazy Friday.

[Fran]

What was it?

[Asante]

Huh?

[Fran]

What was the weather?

[Dustin]

It was raining and snowing and night and sneezing. It was everything.

[Asante]

And, you know, having been gone for a minute and came back, you know, I wasn't really ready for it. And you know what? To your earlier points, you were talking about Utah. I will say the Utah. I will take this as a sign of preparation for. No, no, no, no. Look, for you, maybe for you, I don't know. Preparation. Because it was so cold. But you remember, I went skiing with Mandy, so I had some of my north face, so I I was in that cold, like a G. For most of the part. I was like, okay, you know, the thermals is thermal in. You know, the thermals is actually real high, so I actually have to wear the vest.

[Dustin]

You ain't been gone that long now.

[Asante]

I mean, I. You know what?

[Dustin]

I have never gone that long.

[Fran]

Asante said, you know, I don't really do these parts no more.

[Asante]

I have not been gone that long. But, you know, it has.

[Dustin]

Looking back.

[Asante]

Listen to the point where I was more than ready to go home and I don't know what was going on in the. The aviation. Look before. Look, before we get to this part, okay, two things, because there's a. There's a other developing story that has nothing to do with aviation. Do not tag me in things that I told y' all not to tag me in. And I will leave that same. Don't tag me in that.

[Dustin]

They left me alone about me. A.J. black.

[Asante]

So, well, Lake Lanier. Something is popping up in a. Tagging in me. So leave me alone about Lake Lanier. I'll say that first. Secondly, I want to just thank God. Thank God for just choosing me to arrive safely from point A to point B each. I just want to continue that trend.

[Fran]

Lord, I would clapping at the end of flights.

[Asante]

If that's what we need to do, I will do it. I will lead the charge on. I don't know what needs to happen, but if that's what has happened, I will be part. Because I. My flight was canceled on Monday. And then I see the news about a plane upside down somewhere else, and I was like, that could have been.

[Fran]

And it was a Delta flight.

[Asante]

It was a Delta flight. You know, it could have been me. It could have been me. So I was like, lord, thank you that it was not me. Thank you. It's actually Lord, for those people being safe. I thought when I heard the plane was upside down, I just thought the worst. But to see.

[Dustin]

I thought the plane was Vogan at a ball. You know what Dustin Ross said, Shawam.

[Fran]

And now I'm just trying to understand how does the plane do that? Like, how it was landing and something happened. Yeah. I don't know. It's. This is a very scary time.

[Dustin]

It is. It's very scary. And these don't care about us dying.

[Fran]

And it's on purpose. I feel. I can't tell if they're doing this to freak us out or if it's just like with media where, like, something is being talked about and then they start reporting it more, you know, when they do that to make you feel like, oh, my God, it's more than ever when it's really, like, regular.

[Asante]

Yeah. Run of the mill.

[Fran]

It's just being highlighted. Yeah. I'm just like, I can't because it's working. I'll tell you that.

[Asante]

It is.

[Fran]

I'm shook. I was booking flights for next month to come to New York, and I was shook.

[Asante]

I was like, do I need to take the Amtrak back?

[Fran]

I was praying over my ticket and shit. Like, it's all right.

[Dustin]

That's a very scary thing. And when you think about the fear and the anxiety that it causes, it really make you want to fuck up whoever is responsible for it, because you got to be a real. Just evil. Just the. The epitome and the true definition of evil, like, for some of the things that are going on based off of or per the decision making of human people. Humans, period, like, you are up. They are starting all of this. People are getting injured. People are literally dying. All these diseases are coming back from the literal 60s. I'm not even exaggerating when I say, yeah, all this is coming back. And for what the are y' all trying to do? Why do we have. Why do we have to go through all of this and be this tortured? You know what I'm saying? For what? For y' all to just be racist and rich? Like, it's that damn. Like. Like that. Like, God ain't no other way.

[Fran]

White men's preservation, which is crazy. Rfk. Every headline I see about rfk, I'm just like, this is the one.

[Dustin]

He can't even talk. How you gonna be the head of the health anything and you can't even speak? You know what the is wrong with this? I want to punch him in the right here, Just. Just to loosen it up, you know what I'm saying? He needs mucin X. I've just never seen. These are. These people are literally deplorable.

[Fran]

For real.

[Dustin]

Yeah, that's what they are on some real shit.

[Fran]

Yeah, that's really it. And we. And we are just living in it. I'm like, any. Any good news to share?

[Dustin]

Okay.

[Fran]

I had a terrible weekend. Terrible. Yes, I did. And the guys already had talked to them off the record. And I'm going go into it a little more a little later in the show. But basically, my car, my beautiful baby that I have been journeying with for the past year that y' all know, I customize is my first car I put a lot into it is totaled. And the worst part is it's not my fault, actually. I don't know what if that makes it better or not. Because it's all just bad. I'm safe. We're all safe. I'll explain what happened, but. Yeah, that was the kind.

[Dustin]

I'm really sorry.

[Fran]

I'm so sorry. Especially when it's not even something that had anything to do with me. That's like.

[Dustin]

There's nothing done differently not to do with you.

[Fran]

Literally nothing. Just someone else's. You had done your personal turmoil, right, like just affecting the world and now.

[Dustin]

I'm sorry.

[Fran]

Yeah, I'm sorry too.

[Dustin]

I hope that the bitch get gangrene. Yeah, you already know in the butt.

[Fran]

Oh, I. Yeah, this is, I guess the parts of adulting that when you step into different parts of like ownership and having this and cars and homes and you just start. Should start getting real. So.

[Dustin]

I'm sorry.

[Fran]

Me too.

[Asante]

Like super, super. I hate it. I hate that. Especially because you've talked so much about like your journey, your journey with driving, getting people back into driving, you know, building up that confidence, the comfort and then like safety for it to be your vehicle, which you are, which is already like part of that learning process.

[Fran]

Right.

[Asante]

You know, life process. Like so many different things and for it to just be gone in an instant. Like someone else's.

[Fran]

Instant someone else's.

[Dustin]

My commentary is. Is circumstantial. So I'll wait until you share more details of what happened. To expound in a vulgar way.

[Asante]

Yeah.

[Dustin]

The person whose fault it was.

[Fran]

Yeah, yeah, we will get there. But that's the weekend I had. Not the greatest. I was like, man, this year.

[Asante]

Ugly.

[Fran]

Little year ain't it been?

[Asante]

But it's gonna be. It's gonna be one of the years where this is gonna be the response. Well, friend, look on the bright side.

[Fran]

Exactly. But God, that's all I'm saying.

[Asante]

Oh, was he glitching? I thought he was glitching. Like. No, that was the response. Sorry, y'. All.

[Fran]

Woof. Anyway, let's jump into the episodes. We can get the ball rolling. Before we do that, do you guys have any announ.

[Dustin]

Well, yes.

[Fran]

We need it.

[Dustin]

Okay, so the cat is out the bag. I'm so excited, y', all because, you know, for a long time I've been wanting to do my own one man show from a. From a stand up comedy based, you know, long form dialogue just between me and the audience has been literally something I have dreamed about. Woke up sweating. I thought something was wrong with me, but I was just excited, you know, and so it's happening on Monday. Thank you.

[Asante]

Yay.

[Dustin]

Thank you so much. So, you know, on St. Patrick's Day. Okay. This year on St. Patrick's Day, which is Monday, March 17, 2025, I will be having my own show at here in New York City at City Winery. The doors open at 6pm, I believe, and showtime is 7:30. The tickets are on sale now. The link is in my bio, which I can say and I have it related to only fans, which is great.

[Fran]

But link in bio.com look@dustin.

[Dustin]

That's right, instagram.com look@dustin. And I'm also sharing the link consistently across all socials. So it'll be on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook and Blue Sky. I might even go on over to.

[Fran]

Spiel and the description box under this episode as well. So it's easier to click.

[Dustin]

Exactly. And thank you for that. But yeah, the show is called FSPD. It's called Dustin R Us Live FSPD. It is presented by Studio 17. We're in the good folks at City Winery and I'm so excited to do this. You know, I feel like anything that we our strengths individually, I will make the Friend zone so great.

[Fran]

Absolutely.

[Dustin]

Each time that we work and kind of strengthen our muscle individually, it just makes our show even better. This show is very important to me. So I'm excited to strengthen the Friend Zone by doing this. And I really hope everybody comes and pulls up. I'm open by the support. Thank you.

[Fran]

I'm getting on a plane and I love you.

[Dustin]

That's love. Because that's a dice roll these days.

[Fran]

Okay, man.

[Dustin]

But I'm excited. Tons of support, tons of love. When we announ that the show was happening, I've been overwhelmed with like positive response from so many different people and a lot of believe in me and I appreciate that. It's very affirming to see and it just encourages me to be even stronger as a comedian. So I can't wait to get up here and tell jokes and talk for the night and I'm excited. So again, Monday, March 17, here in New York City at City Winery. I'm doing my own show. It's going to be a great night of comedy drinks. They have good food, good drinks at City Winery. So you can come sit down, drink on. Yes. There is a meet and greet package as well. So if you want to kick it with me and take pictures after the show, that is an available upgrade as well. All that information is on the City Winery link.

[Asante]

I'm signing up.

[Dustin]

Just go there man and come with your boy. I want to make everybody laugh and laugh with y' all and just have a good time. So this is the start of something special and I'm so excited and excited. Thank you, y'. All.

[Fran]

This is big, Dustin. This is the start of a whole new wing.

[Dustin]

Thank you.

[Fran]

Creativity, which is really exciting. Congratulations, brother.

[Dustin]

Can't fly on one wing.

[Fran]

That's on Sparkle, so you know, that's on aviation.

[Asante]

I'm happy for you, Dustin. This is another form of you we, you know, have been wanting more of and we're happy to get to see. And this is a muscle that you're definitely going to continue to like build. We've seen different versions you on the stage. So you doing this is just another amazing.

[Dustin]

I'm happy, very happy. So it's on. So like I said, Lincoln bio, support your boy, you know what I'm saying? And. And let's do this together. So see y' all Monday, March 17th.

[Asante]

Here in New York.

[Dustin]

I'm so excited.

[Fran]

We are so excited. It's gonna be really cool too. Just sitting there with all of our friend group just supporting you and watching you do your thing. I remember we gonna talk shit, right? It's gonna be so good.

[Dustin]

Welcome to the friends group.

[Fran]

Bloating can put a damper on many of life's moments. I think the older you get too the things that you used to enjoy eating hit a little different. You know, digestive system's changing. What you can and can eat needs to be adjusted. And while you that out, the DSO one by Seed has been an amazing formulation to help you out. It's formulated with 24 clinically and scientifically studied strains to support whole body benefits including gut health, skin health, heart health, immune health, gut barrier integrity, gut microbial balance and micronutrient synthesis. And just two capsules a day. The DSO1 is formulated with strains clinically validated to reduce abdominal bloating and intermittent constipation after two weeks. Plus DSO1 includes strains shown to support clearer, healthier looking skin in as little as 12 weeks. We started working with seed last year, I believe maybe even before that. It's been a while. It's been a really great relationship and I really on this show we don't really feel comfortable pushing like capsules or any pharmaceuticals or anything of the like because that's serious business. We don't play with that. But I can tell you that I have been using seed. I can speak from first hand experience. While this is an ad, it's also not an ad it's a personal endorsement. I'm enjoying it. I'm seeing the difference. I see the feeling in my body. So I can this is like a field research. Let's consider it that and I can definitely stand behind seed and the DSO1 formulation. So if you're interested in testing it out, maybe you've been trying to prioritize your gut health as well. Get ahead of the new year with a routine that helps you right now by going to seed.comforward/friend and use code 25friend to get 25% off your first month. That's 25% off your first month of seeds. DS01 Daily [e-mail] friend the first few.

[Dustin]

Weeks of school are in the books and now is the perfect time to keep that momentum going. IXL helps kids stay confident and ahead of the curve. IXL is an award winning online learning platform that helps kids truly understand what they're learning, whether they're brushing up on the math or if they're diving into social studies. And it covers math, it covers language arts, it covers science and social studies too, all the way from Pre K through 12th grade with content that's engaging, personalized. And yeah, it's actually fun too. And in case you didn't know, IXL is used in 96 of the top 100 school districts in the U.S. i know how well IXL works, as in an aid and a supplement to what your kids are already learning because my family members have used it. I have some bad kids in my family, okay? And they needed a little help to sit down somewhere and focus. And IXL aided them greatly in that way. Now you can make an impact on your child's learning and get IXL now. And the Friend Zone listeners can get an exclusive 20% off IXL membership when they sign up today at ixl.com friendzone visit ixl.com friendzone to get the most effective learning program out at the best price. All right, y', all, look, the weather is cooling down, the days are getting shorter, and I want to be at home. And I know I'm not alone, although I'm alone in my own home. But that's another conversation. Listen. As your trusted destination for all things home, Wayfair has everything that you need to cozify your space this fall. And that's everything from comfy recliners to warm bedding and autumn decor. There's something for every style in every home, no matter your space or your budget. Wayfair's even got Espresso makers y'. All. So you can make that latte or that espresso martini right there at the crib. You know the one Wayfair makes it easy to achieve your home goals with curated collections and room ideas plus free hassle free delivery even on large furniture. And listen, I just copped a beautiful all modern like three tier table that I've had my eye on for a minute. I got it from Wayfair. He came. You know, I'm headstrong and stubborn so I put it together myself and I looking at it, I could just be so proud of my blood, sweat and tears. But even if I didn't want to do that, they have so many options for home assembly delivery straight to your door. It's incredible. I love my table. In fact, you may be seeing it soon. Around these parts you can cozify your space with Wayfair's curated collection of easy, affordable fall updates. From comfy recliners to cozy bedding and autumn decor. Find it for way [e-mail] that's W A Y F A I R.com Wayfair every style, every home.

[Fran]

I'm excited. I needed that boost of good energy, right? Thank you.

[Dustin]

For real.

[Fran]

Amen to that. Let's jump into the black business. Hire.

[Asante]

I had an announcement too.

[Fran]

Oh please.

[Asante]

Come on.

[Fran]

Come on.

[Asante]

Woo. Keep that same energy. Don't forget that next Wednesday is the last Wednesday of the month. So as always for you Patreon members, if you're watching, you already know what I'm about to say. If you're listening and you don't watch or you haven't watched yet, you might not know, but we have a Patreon and we do special things for our Patreon. Some of the special things that we do are our content, such as the binge where we talk about TV shows or the situation where we talk about books. But one special perk that the people really love is when we go live at the end of the month for our Wednesday Wind Down. Wednesday Wind down has become a special place where we just talk for an hour. 8:00pm Eastern Standard Time the last Wednesday of every month. This Wednesday it will Next Wednesday will be the 26th of February. That will be when we go live at 8pm Eastern Standard Time. Patreon.com Friends on podcast come join us. Be respectful, have fun. Everyone that is already there has an amazing time. So if you just come and just mix in with the vibe, I'm sure you'll enjoy it as well. But again, patreon.com friendzone, podcast, other premium content. And you can watch us if you don't see us, because I know some of y' all be looking for us. That's a place you can find us. That's all I wanted to announce.

[Fran]

Oh, perfect. Dang. It's crazy too, that we're already at the end of February.

[Dustin]

What the fuck? Like that little girl. Y' all seen that video of that little girl cussing when our mama was like, you can say any cuss word after I leave out this room. And the little girls in the mirror in the bathroom. The fuck that little black girl. That's how kids are. Crazy child.

[Asante]

Next month is short too, so.

[Fran]

Oh Lord. Okay, so I wanted to shout out at Intentional V on Twitter one of our listeners who put us on to this company called Nafis Innovations. You can find [e-mail] that's n a f e e s I n o.com this actually I was like, wow, some people are doing some wonderful things for the world. So shout out to Nafees Norris, who is the CEO of Nafis Innovations llc. He is the first African American to graduate in biopharmaceutical process engineering and is a visionary in stem. As founder and CEO of Nafees Innovations llc, he is committed to making STEM accessible for underrepresented youth, fostering diversity and inclusivity in science education. With hands on expertise as a cell culture scientist and deep technical knowledge, he brings real world relevance to interactive workshops, internships and mentorship programs. Nafisa's programs encourage students to see themselves as future innovators while promoting values of resilience and integrity. His mission is to inspire a generation, ensuring STEM is accessible, engaging and inclusive for all. He basically runs these workshops, these science workshops in Philadelphia, okay. For kids ages 7 through 18, y'. All. And it is amazing. You can sign up, you can go to nafees eno.com obviously I'm gonna have that linked down below, but they study everything from. Oh yes, and that's what he looks like.

[Dustin]

One of the classes.

[Fran]

He teaches workshops on cell culture, right? Damn it, I lost my page. Introduce students to the thrilling world of cell culture, teaching them how scientists grow cells to produce life saving medicines, vaccines and much more. He also teaches them about purification where it's like the fascinating technique used to purify biological products, you know, making them safe and effective for use in medicine and research. He also teaches something I'm a fight you analytical techniques, which are the methods used to study and understand biological products. And you know, ensuring they meet the highest quality standards. It's amazing. He teaches four different workshops. 9am to 11am for the 7 to 11 year olds. Then from 11:30am to 1:30pm it's for the 12 to 15 year olds and then from 2 to 4 it's for the 16 to 18 year olds. You can call at 215-888-4431 or you can email@n norrisafeesino.com of course. I will have all that listed below. If you're looking to pop up and check in, it's at 3675 Market Street, Suite 519 in Philadelphia. You want to check out his Instagram? It's @nafis innovation doesn't say. Yeah, well, yeah.

[Dustin]

What is it?

[Fran]

Nafees n a f E S Innovations on Instagram. You can fill out the workshop form if you'd like for your child or some child, you know, to attend. They also create workshops for schools. So if you're a teacher administrator of some sort and would love some stem cell teachers to come in and arrange some curriculums, they do. They are launching online courses soon. I did see that they added that to the site. And also if you are someone in STEM that lives in Philadelphia or in the neighboring areas, they also have volunteering opportunities and you can also sponsor a child, a future innovator. They have that tab in there as well. So this is amazing history.

[Dustin]

He literally made history.

[Fran]

Amazing. I was going through the website and was just like, man, some people are really out here doing the work.

[Dustin]

Yeah, Philly on a roll, ain't they?

[Fran]

Okay, Philly, but thank you to Intentional V for putting us on so that we can highlight his platform. And hopefully there are some more kids interested in STEM that are looking for.

[Dustin]

That's crazy. I can't help it. Have to do it. That's crazy that somebody named Intentional V, that's who put us on to this.

[Fran]

Our listenership. Okay.

[Asante]

I love the fact that this gentleman is doing this sort of work. You know how I feel about black people and technology and how to feel comfortable. Him just with his hands on approach to the youth. Like if you are a faculty member or somebody in a school that needs to bring a gentleman like this in, put them on payroll or you know, just spend some funds, I feel like this gentleman is necessary. I love stuff like this. So this is what I'm here at.

[Dustin]

This is what's going to save our country. This kind of people like him who are willing to go the distance when it comes to educating themselves, legitimizing themselves, and really blazing trails. That's what it looks like right there.

[Fran]

Yeah. And paying it forward by putting these workshops together for seven.

[Dustin]

Incredible work. Incredible, incredible work.

[Fran]

And if you look through the gallery, you see the kids with their lab coats.

[Asante]

That was my favorite part.

[Fran]

Seeing you see them with all the, like, lab gear and. Oh, I can't even. That's so cool. Shout out to nafis. Shout out to Intentional V. And that is our Black Business of the week week. Let's jump into the recap segment. Last week's episode. Not me having a whole different episode up. You know what?

[Asante]

Well, because it wasn't the week before.

[Dustin]

This is the backwards show. Everything is gonna go.

[Fran]

That's really what I feel like this weekend. Last week's episode title should have been passed. Thank you, Dustin Ross. People were trying to guess. Sounds like you'll never know. It was a shoot the episode. No hot button, no segments, Just whatever wanted to come up. And as always, those of you listening had a lot to say. I'm actually gonna pop in here. Sorry. I'm, like, moving, so I'm like, how do I do this? Oh, yeah. As you can imagine, my mind is in a few different.

[Asante]

Take your time.

[Dustin]

I hold your hand, honey.

[Fran]

Me, I wanted to shout out. I don't know if it's Devo or Devo Exported. Forgive me, but I gave you both just in case. One is right. They said, forever grateful that the Friend Zone podcast dropped on my exact birthday. I've been listening since I was 19 and I am 26 now.

[Dustin]

Wow. Wow. We gotta clap for that.

[Fran]

Would it be too much to ask for a birthday shout out in the next episode? Much love. Not everybody. All Devo, happy belated birthday related, right?

[Asante]

Spending many of your birthday years with us.

[Fran]

And that's always trippy when people be like, I've been listening to you since middle school. And they're like a full grown adult.

[Dustin]

I'll be like, yo, you a gangster, Devo. You a gangster. Thank you so much.

[Asante]

And then it'd be tripping me out even more when they'd be like, oh, yeah, you know, I'm a litigator and stuff. It's like, oh, you got a real job too, listening to me.

[Dustin]

That is crazy. Tell your friends. Tell your friends. Thank you, Devo. Thank you for all those years of listenership and, you know, supporting the show in that way. That's why we're able to still be here today doing this. So thank you, thank you, thank you, and happy birthday.

[Fran]

Happy birthday.

[Asante]

One of those. It's your birthday all month.

[Fran]

I hope it's been lovely. Happy, happy birthday. I also wanted to read Ileana Dioso. What a pretty name on SoundCloud. Said, if y' all like paradise, you need to go back and watch Wayward Pines on Hulu. It will have a hotep punching the air. I heard about it too, but I was like, I couldn't put a face to it. Like, who's in it? I don't know, but the name is definitely familiar. I'm gonna check it out. I've been in my show Binging bag. I told you, I'm watching Paradise. I'm watching Yellowstone. I just finished Landman. There's another show that we started. I can't remember. Oh, and then I'm catching up or rewatching. I should say season one of Severance on Apple because I want to watch season two. But I couldn't remember everything. I was like, I'm gonna have to start from scratch. It's just been too many years.

[Asante]

I remember. But this season isn't like, giving me what I really need right now. Well, I'm just saying right now, the conversations are still going.

[Fran]

Yeah.

[Asante]

Cause they're doing some other shit. And this last episode. Well, I don't want to spoil the. The Audis or the Enies had a retreat. I'll say that to you, because it's like, what?

[Fran]

Okay.

[Asante]

But during the retreat, some shit was happening, and I was like, what I need.

[Fran]

I need to finish so I can finally start season two. And White Lotus, which y' all know we are a fan of on this show. I saw that they dropped their new season or I don't know if they're dropping, like, episodes one episode at a time. Yeah, like. Like human beings. But either way, I need to. To jump on that too, so.

[Asante]

Always out already.

[Fran]

Yeah, I saw people talking about it, so.

[Asante]

See, I ain't been with the Max app. We talked about how it's been having issues. I really ain't been with it.

[Dustin]

So Peacock will glitch on your ass in a minute.

[Asante]

Yeah, Peacock. I still gotta. You know, they still got all the shows that come on on a regular basis, so I still be up on there and I can't find, but I still be on it. But Max, I ain't really been with it.

[Dustin]

I just think, why do the app need jumper cable? I just don't understand all the time breaking down. I just don't understand. We can do TV Land right now if y' all want to. We can Just segue on into it. We are here.

[Fran]

So I'm definitely gonna check out Wayward Pines. Ileana Dio. So, like I said, I've heard of it.

[Asante]

I'm looking at American mystery sci fi TV series based on the Wayward Pines novels by Blake Crouch.

[Fran]

No, don't ring a bell. The name rings a bell.

[Asante]

It's a. Unless I'm thinking It's a five series that came out in 2015.

[Fran]

Right.

[Asante]

Two federal agents go missing in Wayward Pines, Idaho. Secret Service. Secret Service agent Ethan Burke, one of Seattle's best agents, sets out to find them. One of the missing agents is Ethan's former partner, Kate, with whom he had a relationship that almost destroyed her marriage. Destroyed his marriage. All right, there's longer. And none of this is ringing any bells.

[Fran]

Yeah, no.

[Asante]

Juliet Lewis is in this. This. I ain't never seen this.

[Dustin]

Okay.

[Asante]

Matt Dillon, Charlie Tahan. I don't know what the that is.

[Fran]

Also, love is Blind is back out. I don't know if y'. All.

[Asante]

Are you doing it again?

[Fran]

I sat and watched maybe 10, 15 minutes of the first episode. I can't lie. It didn't grab me. But that don't mean nothing because what city are you? And then I have forced myself. I don't know.

[Dustin]

Don't they do that in cities? Right?

[Fran]

I think so. I don't know what city they're in. I think it's.

[Asante]

Hold on. Let me. Let me get my Googles.

[Fran]

Yes.

[Asante]

Is it seven now?

[Fran]

I couldn't tell you. They all blur into each other.

[Asante]

This is 8.

[Fran]

Is the new one. It's. It's not. And maybe this is the problem because we complain about people being fake and using the show to catapult careers, but then when they're, like, serious about the show and there's no, like, funny person or, like, a character on it, then you're like, ah, so I don't know.

[Asante]

They're in Minnesota.

[Fran]

Maybe. That's why.

[Asante]

For its eighth season, the reality dating show is set in the city of Lakes and features an entire cast.

[Dustin]

So it's Minneapolis.

[Asante]

Hold on. I don't even know how to say this word. An entire cast of Minnesotans.

[Fran]

Minnesotans. Yeah.

[Asante]

The way that it looks long. It didn't even look long. It just looked weird. Like, the Sodins looks odd. Minnesotans. Okay.

[Fran]

I don't know. Dustin, do you want to jump on? Do you want to take that?

[Dustin]

Well, listen, first of all, I started a new show, too. I decided that I was going to watch this show that I had been I have wanted to watch it ever since the first season came out, but I just didn't have. You know how you just don't want to. It just seems daunting sometimes to take on a new series, so whatever. Yeah, but the sex lives of college.

[Asante]

Girls with Renee rapping them.

[Dustin]

You love it when I say I am like, the first fucking episode of the first season. I was hooked. I was hooked.

[Asante]

Hooked.

[Fran]

It's a very good show. I just loved it.

[Dustin]

It's so good. Y' all can't talk. I didn't watch it.

[Fran]

We talked about it on here.

[Dustin]

Well, you gotta tap me harder, because I am telling you, y'. All.

[Fran]

Cause that's how I discovered Renee Rap. Like, I didn't know about her before that. And I know she. She initially left. Right. And then came back. I don't know. I'm not sure. But, yeah, I think she was.

[Asante]

Because I. I remember seeing her on Watch what Happens Live when she was pushing her music and. Or, like. No, she was still, I think, on the show. Had just left the show. And, like, Andy might ask her something about it, and I was like, I gotta pay attention to this white girl.

[Fran]

Yeah. To pursue her music. Which. Understandable, because she.

[Dustin]

Is an incredible scene.

[Fran]

Extremely talented. Yeah. So I get it.

[Asante]

I ain't with the Mean Girls musical, but I with Renee rap.

[Dustin]

For whatever reason, y' all gotta watch that show out there. People. The people that are listening to this show.

[Asante]

How far into it are you?

[Dustin]

Chance. I'm like three episodes or four episodes into the first season, so I'm just starting. But you're like that. Oh, my God. It is literally everything. I like comedy, sex, partying. It's just everything. The show is just good. They're young and just. Their approach to life is just great. It's a c. It's seedy. There's affairs. It's all kind of. It's just good. Like, it's juicy. It's good. And it's not corny. It's good.

[Fran]

It's something. Yeah. So some of those. What do they call them? What is that. What is that term? No, when it's like, young people finding.

[Dustin]

Themselves coming of age.

[Fran]

Coming of age.

[Dustin]

Yeah.

[Fran]

Sometimes those coming of age shows can be like. Like, on the. More, like, cheesy.

[Dustin]

Corny.

[Fran]

Yeah. Not. But this one didn't feel that way, which is why I think I liked it.

[Dustin]

So I'm hooked on that. Also, I did watch the White Lotus. I watched the first episode of the third season. It's good. They set up everything beautifully. It moved a little slow, but it definitely set everything up in the first episode for, like, the stories to develop or whatever. The location looks beautiful. I'm excited. So are they in Thailand? They're in Thailand.

[Fran]

Okay.

[Dustin]

I've already. There's new characters that are already, like, just got me hooked in. There's a weird ass. There's something about the Johnson's ass family called the rat lifts that are on there with. And there's all these innuendos, and they allude to, like, just really weird sexual tension amongst some of the family members. So that part is a little weird to watch, but it's. It's polarizing, you know what I'm saying? So I want to know what's going to happen. But it's good. Natasha Rothwell is on there. It's good. I missed Me too. She got that Emmy and got the hell on, didn't she? They said as soon as she snatched that award, all they heard was them doors and double doors closing and opening behind it. She ain't been back on the studio a lot since she got that Emmy and got the hell on. I don't blame it. Jennifer.

[Fran]

She's so damn funny.

[Dustin]

But hopefully it's going to be good. I'm interested in seeing how this season plays out. The White Lotus. We know that. We know they don't disappoint with the writing. It just doesn't disappoint.

[Asante]

Yeah.

[Dustin]

Every season it's. It's great. So I'm looking forward to it. What else in TV land? The Real Housewives of Potomac had a great first part of their reunion that aired this week. Fantastic first part of the reunion. Karen was not there. They tore into her ass properly. Oh, yeah. And she posted a video message that was shady as hell. And it's gonna be. What she did, though, was a masterful setup for next season. Her and Wendy are definitely gonna feud all next season. And Karen is setting herself up to have certain relationships grow and strengthen and others she just don't give a damn about, like hers with Wendy. So it'll be interesting because if you remember back in season five when Wendy came on, Karen never really with Wendy. For real.

[Asante]

For real.

[Dustin]

They both just couldn't stand Giselle in season six, and so they started being, you know, amongst each other's company. Their bond strengthened a little bit over season seven and eight. And now in season nine, we saw the breakdown, so season 10 should be great. Married to Medicine. This is one of the best shows of Married to Medicine this season.

[Asante]

I watched it.

[Dustin]

Let me tell you. And woke it up this episode. Apollo, Nida and his wife Shereen as soon as they got to a woman that he was cheating on Phaedra with, according to her. But you know, her lying ass. You can't believe nothing she say. So we don't know what the timeline was.

[Asante]

I mean, honestly though, from that clip that they showed Shereen, she was like, I mean, you know, while she was busy, you know, Apollo was over here with me and I was like. So she just.

[Dustin]

But they weren't together then.

[Asante]

They weren't together, right? They were separated, you know what I'm saying?

[Dustin]

So we don't know what it is. So. Because Phaedra be lying. That's what we know for sure. And so we. But anyway they came on and said and within literal 20 seconds Shireen was in a floaty with a drink in her hand telling the entire business of Phaedra and this miscellaneous man that she had them have have come on to be a contestant at Sweet tea speed dating event and Miracul meet up with her who already knew Apollo and already knew Apollo's wife Shereen. And they both confirmed that he is for everybody. Him and Phaedra aren't doing nothing. And it was weird that he was there with Phaedra when him and Apollo are friends. So it was just a lot going.

[Asante]

On like once a week, like that's.

[Dustin]

Holidays together like that. And he's there rubbing on Phaedra's butt and she's sitting on his lap and stuff. It's just a mess. Phaedra tries to distance herself verbally. That's the only way because literally the aesthetic and the behavior is ghetto. So she tries to distance herself vocally and verbally though she calls the other women on the show these type of bitches. That was her. That's the quote from her. But you are literally on this show with your ex husband's friend who is 20 years younger than you, might I add being, you know, speaking about sex and doing it or you know, she's always sticking something in her mouth and doing all that weird stuff. But you want to be a southern belle. Phaedra, just the act and the song and dance is the same old song and dance that it's always been. Nothing has changed. She tries to distance herself from them, but as soon as she gets angry, she gets vulgar. She called Apollo's wife a bad built and all. Apollo's wife did Shereen, I'm telling you, she needs to be casted on one of these shows immediately because she knows how to stir the pot. She said, Apollo don't give a about you, Apollo. I told you it was Fei. Fei who now she called. Why would she call Phaedra Fefe? What did that do?

[Asante]

Triggered her.

[Dustin]

Phaedrus, first of all, my name ain't Fey Fay bad. That's what Phaedra said to her. I mean, it just really threw her off her mark. And Shereen did it again with a smile on her face and a pool floaty with a tumbler of liquor in her hand. So it was great, great television. Shout out to Quad's boyfriend for holding it down, Pop. Holding it down. That's what King did.

[Asante]

He didn't give a fuck. But there was problems on the beach already. He said he was going to.

[Dustin]

He checked the dog.

[Asante]

It was like shoes this week out there.

[Dustin]

G. She checked the dog out of Dr. G. And Dr. G did exactly what we all knew he would do and told on himself when he said to King, you can be with her and sweep her all the way up.

[Fran]

Off her feet, man.

[Dustin]

Sweep off our feet. I don't care. Yes, you do. That's why. That's what you brought up. Because King was very direct when he spoke to Dr. G. Hey, I don't like what you said to Quiet last night. And you have to apologize to her at a certain point. And if you have anything else to say, don't address her. You address me. I don't give a fuck what she say. And that's when he said, I don't care. Be happy. I'm happy. Sweep her all the way off her feet. I don't care. Yeah, he literally threw a fit. His arms were literally in the air like this. Just like a child, petulant child. His arms were up in the air.

[Asante]

That was when he walked up in his face for the second time. Because the first time he walked up in his face, he was like, man, you know, it ain't no problem. I ain't got no issue.

[Dustin]

Like, smart, though. He was talking. He was the entire.

[Asante]

He wants to be able to say that. He. He wants to be able to say, like, I got up in his face and everything. But then the minute.

[Dustin]

The third time, he was being flippant. Yeah, he was speaking to him. He was saying things to try to trigger Quad's boyfriend King into losing control, and he didn't.

[Asante]

And so that last time when he was about to fight him, he didn't even lose control that time. No, it was just time for him to get that ass whooping. Because it's like you keep playing with me.

[Dustin]

He was so flagrant with the disrespect that it warranted no other reaction than the one that it got. So this is a great episode of Married to Medicine. And there is now a new meme that has come about anytime you want to start some shit. There's a picture of Dr. One and Only Heavenly Times. Dr. Heavenly Times calling Apollo and Sherene to see where they're at, because she's the one who had invited Apollo to come, and she's calling him on the phone. We ready for you? All right. Okay.

[Fran]

Good morning.

[Asante]

Can we have a smiling. She's doing.

[Dustin]

She's doing just like this. There's a shot. Look on the Internet. You'll see. It's a picture of Dr. Heavenly doing just like this. And the. Her name is in the lower thirds. It says Dr. Heavenly. He's calling Apollo, and she's smiling, looking at her phone. That is the new signal and mean for when you're about to start some.

[Asante]

Okay, can I just say, too, in Heavenly's defense, which I know this is not a hill I'm trying to die.

[Dustin]

On, so I'm saying I love Dr. Heavily. I don't give a damn.

[Asante]

So I know I'm not. I just mean for the listeners, because I know some of them are like, huh? Because they can't stand Dr. Heavenly. One thing about Dr. Heavenly, she told Phaedra she was going to invite Apollo. She talked to Apollo, and Apollo said Shireen wasn't coming. So it was not her fault that Apollo showed up with Shereen. But.

[Dustin]

And go ahead.

[Asante]

There's. There is something to be said about having a couple there who is divorced with new partners along with Quad, who was experiencing that dynamic as well. If the setup were a little bit different, it could have been fruitful, but it's still in a different way.

[Dustin]

Well, because ain't no good can come out of you bringing a. I can't stand that. I used to be married to.

[Asante]

To.

[Dustin]

With a new partner. There's nothing.

[Asante]

Because Phaedra. Well, because Phaedra and Apollo presented last year like their relationship was impeccable. Now, right?

[Dustin]

So let's come in our house.

[Asante]

So let's say Phaedra, because Shaq Shack. Shake Check. What's it? Shake what?

[Dustin]

Shack Think it spells like, Shake west.

[Asante]

But like Sheck West. Okay. So Shaq, I am starting to think that, you know, it was a scheme that he set up because it's like, all right, so clearly, you know all these people and you up in there, so you did this. Now she did this. But you wanted to do this, so you did this. But I really feel like if Adrian Apollo were like, actually in a good place, it would have been cool if her and Quiet could have had a discourse about, like, you know, you don't have to react to Dr. G and Sweet Tea, because Sweet Tea is the new girl here. Like, you don't have to give her no shot or something like that. But of course, Phaedra is Phaedra, so she wasn't gonna bring none of that, which is why I was so annoying at the end of the episode. Parallels I am, which is why it was so annoying when I came back to reality. And Phaedra wants to end the episode with, these are not my friends because they wouldn't do xyz. Like. Like you're mad that they're questioning this partner that you brought who is not a serious partner. And clearly you know that they're not because you bringing him to with your ex. So what. What are you really mad about right now? Like what? So yes, they blew her cover.

[Dustin]

That's what they did. Embarrassed and ran tail between her legs and got off the show that she was ready to get off of anyway, because we know in the real world she has already. At that time, she was already negotiating her return to the Real Housewives of Atlanta because Kenya had been suspended or whatever to happen with her this season. So she really was off Married to Medicine anyway. She didn't give a damn about continuing to build story amongst these women with her. Her personal details. She didn't care.

[Asante]

This is the perfect way to.

[Dustin]

She took advantage of her out. So one of the best episodes of the season, though. Shout out to Quiet and King Quiet is having the best season ever on Married to Medicine this year, and it's been great to watch. They just filmed the reunion and Dr. Heavenly says she tore Sweet Tea and Contessa's ass to pieces. I can't wait to see it. So that's that for TV Land this week.

[Fran]

And that means that we can jump into this week's episode.

[Dustin]

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[Fran]

Was just parking my car and then I saw you. The Gecko. Huge fan. I'm always honored to be meet fans.

[Asante]

Out in the wild.

[Fran]

The honor is mine.

[Asante]

I just love being able to file.

[Fran]

A claim in under two minutes with the Geico app. Well, the Geico app is top notch. I know you get asked this all the time, but could you sign it? Sign what? The app. Yeah, sure. Oh, that means so much. Oh, it rubbed off the screen when I touched it. Could you sign it again? Anything to help, I suppose. You're the best.

[Asante]

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[Dustin]

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[Fran]

Thank you.

[Dustin]

You're welcome. Boar's Head committed to craft since the 1905.

[Fran]

Okay, so remember I had mentioned that I wanted to jump on the only fans train. No, no, I wanted to extend the conversation we had had last year, actually. The episode was titled Parable of the Huckabees. Thank you.

[Asante]

Yes.

[Fran]

And it was recorded on September 18th. It was episode 445, in case you missed it, where we were discussing the collective restlessness that was taking place then and now. Unsurprisingly, we focused on two philosophies, right? The philosophy of nihilism, which is a philosophical belief that life is meaningless. Ain't that something? A rejection, basically, of all religious and moral principles. Their belief is that since there's nothing and nothing we do matters, all things are therefore meaningless. Meaningless. And we also touched on the philosophy of absurdism, which is a philosopher.

[Asante]

You said it.

[Fran]

Observism. A philosophical outlook that explores the contradiction between the human desire for meaning and the indifferent, chaotic nature of the universe. It's basically a study of the conflict between humankind seeking a meaningful life and its inability to find it. I actually find that philosophy really funny. It's basically being like, you can search for it, but this is chaos and its.

[Dustin]

Hell. Yeah.

[Fran]

Good luck. It's kind of interesting that I had already set up wanting to expound on that conversation for this week, because lo and behold, if something that happened to me this weekend, which I mentioned earlier in the show, fit perfectly with the conversation. So I'm gonna tell y' all what happened to me in the weekend, and then we can get the conversation rolling. So I mentioned earlier during our weekend recap that my car was totaled. A lot of you had been hitting me all weekend, ironically, because we had had a blizzard. And there was a huge newscast about Oregon having like a hundred car pile up in the highway. And a lot of you were concerned and reaching out, which. Thank you, I was not a part of that. By the grace of God, but.

[Asante]

Grace of God.

[Fran]

By the grace of God. But also, I'm a relatively new driver, so I wasn't going to be in the middle of a blizzard. Yeah, like, I. I knew better than that. For me, for my sake and the sake of those on the road, but we were here over the weekend. It was blizzard. But, you know, one thing I will say about Portland, they handled it quickly. Like, the trucks was out there. Our streets looked fine by the end of like 24 hours. So we are up on, you know, watching. I think we were binging Yellowstone on the couch, eating food and just enjoying our weekend. We don't normally stay up that late, which is Funny that we did that night. That's how God works, right?

[Asante]

How far into Yellowstone are you?

[Fran]

Season two.

[Asante]

So you was deep in season one then, or like, you was already.

[Fran]

No, I think we had started season two at that point, so we were, like, in it. Is that good? Yes, it's that good. So it was like three in the morning.

[Asante]

Sorry, Frank, continue.

[Fran]

No, it's fine. We're on the couch and we hear a loud. It sound like an explosion. And, you know, with everything going on.

[Asante]

Right now that the aliens came, not.

[Fran]

Even with the planes falling and people's personal planes. And we just heard this explosion and we just were like, oh, my God. We both jump up and run outside. Do y' all know that a woman, a drunk woman, a drunk white woman, had been barreling down our street and smashed into our car head on? We have the video and everything. I would play it for our patreon, but it marks our streets and stuff, so I won't do that. But, yeah, she barreled. Barreled. I'm talking about when you watch it. And I sent it to y'. All. Y' all saw it.

[Asante]

I could not stop watching it.

[Fran]

It's like she was on the highway. I have no idea what planet she was on.

[Dustin]

She was in full momentum, full revolution. Like, literally, she was pedal to the metal, hitting.

[Fran]

They had the nerve to tell us that she only had one drink of what?

[Asante]

Oh, no, no, no.

[Dustin]

Rubbing alcohol.

[Fran]

And had a glass of wine. She. She really tried to tell us that. We looked at her like, ma', am, you are slurring. You can't even stand up straight. Her eye, like, she was like, Karen Huger. Right? Literally, Thomas. You know? So we go out there and she. At that point, we see our car, like, pushed, and she is wedged. She hit our car so hard that she was wedged. It turned her car completely to the side. Right. So now she's just like, like, horizontal on the street between our car and our neighbors. So she smashed our car mainly. But in it pushing her. She smashed our neighbor's car. So now she's wedged in between these two cars.

[Asante]

Yep.

[Fran]

Three in the morning. Lucky for her is that nobody was crossing. We have kids. This is a residential area that could.

[Dustin]

Have been so dangerous at families on bikes.

[Fran]

Are you right?

[Dustin]

Yeah.

[Fran]

So we run out once we realize what happened. Well, we didn't realize what happened. We just were like, what the fuck? So we run out, we see the car wedged. She comes out stumbling, and we realize the bitch is drunk. Oh, my. It was that feeling of anger more than.

[Dustin]

Did you record her at all?

[Fran]

Of course we did.

[Dustin]

Okay, good.

[Fran]

We recorded her talking to us. We took pictures of obviously videos, everything. We call the police. And this is the part that really angered me because when the police came, they were just babying her. And it was really frustrating because she's crying. She knew to weaponize her tears. So apologetic. And I don't know what happened. I only had one drink. She tried to say that her car slipped on ice.

[Dustin]

Bitch.

[Fran]

Girl, the way you were driving.

[Dustin]

Your car skated on ice.

[Fran]

Skateboard. You know what I'm saying? You were driving so fast into the block, like our neighbors ring cams, that they all sent us shout out to our neighbors. We have video of you coming into the block so fast, it didn't matter. It was ice or not. Girl, you were not driving the speed limb anywhere near the speed limit. She was at least going 70, 80.

[Dustin]

That bitch was probably on shrooms and all kind of shit. That probably wasn't just no damn liquor in her.

[Fran]

Well, we. No, you know what? We actually. Obviously, this is a small place. We ended up knowing someone that works with her and told us that she's been having problems with liquor and pills.

[Dustin]

See, peeled up, peeled up, peeled up.

[Fran]

And so she fucked our car up and.

[Dustin]

Damn, I'm sorry.

[Fran]

Like I said, it's totally.

[Asante]

So she didn't get automatically locked up for being drunk.

[Fran]

Let me tell you how the cops had. She was coming up to me. She was walking over to my partner. She was walking around, going to her car. She went in her car and took a laptop like it was like nothing.

[Asante]

Like, she was just.

[Dustin]

They didn't cuff her or anything?

[Fran]

Nothing. They didn't even take a breathalyzer. We timed it. It was like an hour and a half later when they finally. And the only reason they even asked her, have you been drinking? Because my partner went up to the cop and said, yo, I have to be honest. This is blowing me that this woman is belligerently drunk in front of us. And y' all have not gone up there and asked her anything about this. And the cop tried to act like, oh, well, we have to focus on y' all first, and then we'll get to her.

[Asante]

So y' all trying to let her sober up. That's what y' all trying.

[Fran]

Yeah, that's literally what I told him. I was like, an hour and a half. They're trying to let her sober up. Because that's crazy to me.

[Asante]

That's insane.

[Dustin]

Also, people be drunk, but they don't be that damn drunk. She could have propositioned one of them officers on the low. Anything could have happened. And I'm glad.

[Fran]

They might know her. They might know her. Like, there's so many things that come.

[Asante]

They have cams on them. The cops.

[Fran]

They did have cams. And regardless, we had our phone.

[Asante]

No, no, I know. I'm just saying for, like, when, like, it comes up, right.

[Fran]

For their claim. Yeah.

[Asante]

Part of my YouTube algorithm. I'll be watching them, the body cam footages. So, like, if they come from court, that's gonna be some evidence. Like, you know, y' all have y' all cameras and y' all footage and.

[Fran]

Their cameras and they have this.

[Dustin]

Well, yeah, I'm surprised you ain't go in the house and get your UT YouTube camera. We got your ass.

[Fran]

I should have been on. You know how people be on live on Facebook just all day. All the aunties that should have got streamed.

[Asante]

Okay.

[Fran]

We were just so blown because I was like, telling my partner, if it was any one of us, she. They would have had my face would.

[Asante]

Have been in that. The first question, have you been drinking tonight?

[Fran]

They would have had my face cracked on that curb. Do you hear me? With fucking handcuffs. Me on the floor. They didn't give a fuck if it was ice.

[Dustin]

And y' all know, meanwhile, Galinda over here running free. You know what I'm saying?

[Fran]

And then we asked her to give us to. Can we. Can we have your license? And she was like, oh, it's expired. Number one. Number one. We asked for her insurance. Oh, it's processing. I haven't gotten my. So you're driving.

[Asante]

I mean, and she said those. She said that in front of the cops, too.

[Fran]

Of the cops. And she was like, I. I have to get my laptop, mind you. She just said this. And she's drunk. And they let her go around to the other side of the car to get her laptop because she wanted to, quote, unquote, show us the laps in her insurance or whatever the she was showing us.

[Asante]

They probably would have let her drive off.

[Fran]

I thought about that. But her car literally couldn't.

[Asante]

That's what I'm saying. If her car wasn't wedged up, they probably would have been like, was until.

[Dustin]

They eventually cuff her and arrest this.

[Fran]

Or what, an hour and a half later. Yes. But they told us. They were like, like, Basically, they were.

[Dustin]

Like, can y' all go.

[Fran]

No, they were like, can y' all go? Like, y' all can go inside the house.

[Asante]

Yeah. They took her home.

[Fran]

And then they're out there, and she was, like, doing her, you know, the walk, and they had the flashlights, but it just was like we were watching through the window, and we were like, this is wild. Oh, hell, no. This is wild. She's just out there talking to them. They just put her in the car. I mean, real white glove.

[Dustin]

And you ain't even saying you want them to beat her up. You know what I'm saying?

[Fran]

But it's just interesting to witness the difference, because even when those cops came out the car, the energy, you know, they don't know. They don't know who's who. And, you know, they was looking at my partner like, what you do?

[Asante]

Yeah, right.

[Dustin]

Yeah, yeah.

[Fran]

Cause you don't live here. That ain't your crib, and that ain't your car. Here's this lily white princess that.

[Dustin]

And then what did they do?

[Fran]

And she's crying.

[Dustin]

What did they do in Sante when they find out who is who?

[Fran]

Mind you. Mind you, the two of us are in our PJs, so. Hello. Connect some dots. You know, she's the one in a. In a glazed puff coat over here.

[Asante]

Okay.

[Dustin]

Had her going out, shit on.

[Fran]

So I'm. I don't know, it just was real mind blowing to. Because obviously, I think it was more than.

[Asante]

Are you able to call up to the station and. And press charge or something? Like, I know you probably. I know you probably want to be amicable about. Amicable about this, but I just need somebody.

[Fran]

I mean, I know you don't.

[Asante]

Okay, good. Look, Fred, I need. Look, can you give me your information and I make the calls for you? Because we need somebody held accountable.

[Fran]

When she said to me, she was like. Because I said to her, what the fuck happened? Like, can you just explain to me what the fuck happened? She goes, well, I was driving and I was blasting. Fuck Donald Trump. I swear to God, she said this to me.

[Dustin]

I know it took everything in you not to fucking body slam this bitch. I know.

[Fran]

What are you doing right now, girl? Don't. Don't do that now. You playing in my face, you know what I'm saying? Because you know why she said that? When she sees me and my partner stand, I was paying funky. You were not. Because we would still hear it in the car. It would be stuck on.

[Dustin]

Now I want to beat your ass even more because you brought his name up. So now. Now you didn't set the mood.

[Asante]

Let's set the mood, right?

[Dustin]

Yeah.

[Fran]

And it was so horrible. It was just like in her crying and she Kept being so apologetic.

[Dustin]

I hope you told her to shut up. Like, shut up crying and apologizing, because that's. You don't need to say nothing to me right now. Shut up talking to me. Draw.

[Fran]

It was an experience. And also that was our first interaction with cops out here, you know? So that's what made me angrier at her. Because it's like you brought all your wrath of whatever the fuck you got going on in your life that would make you think it's okay to drive like that through a residential area, pissy drunk. You brought whatever the fuck you got going on emotionally, mentally, spiritually. I don't know what you got going on to my bubble, where just Peacefully in our PJs, watching a show after both of us had a long day of work. And this is how we decompress, you know what I'm saying? Now we're out here with a totaled car and two police cars in front of our house talking to six cops.

[Dustin]

Right? Right. Because of her drunk ass, you know what I'm saying? Because of this sloppy right here that can't control herself. I would have been pissed off. I don't give a fuck. We human and we feel an attachment to things that we worked hard for. And I personally don't see nothing wrong with that. So let's take it there. You have worked so hard to get your vehicle. Get the kind that you want.

[Fran]

The first car that I'm so proud of that I poured. Y' all seen it, ordered, custom, poured so much into it. Like, it's been such a great experience that I've been sharing on the show. But that's what I'm saying how, like, people's fucked upness spills over into the shit that you got going on. It's been in my own world, progressing, moving forward, and then here she comes. And then I was telling the guys that the craziest part is when the adjuster came and basically told us, like, it might not even be worth getting none of this shit fixed. You know what I mean? I never. To be honest, I always. I didn't. I don't know much about cars, but when people used to talk about cars being totaled, I always envisioned, like, it was crushed, you know, like the car was, like, mangled, like, beyond repair. I didn't know that even something like this hit would up my whole.

[Dustin]

Like I said, it's. You've been that frame as. It's a couple different things if you damage it.

[Fran]

He was just saying, honestly, what you can't see is what is the biggest issue, especially a car that advanced with, like, the software inside, you know, And I was just like, like, France can.

[Dustin]

Tie its own shoes.

[Asante]

It could tie France shoes.

[Fran]

You know, so he was like, it's not even worth it. And then he was. The part that really made me even angrier was him being like, when we give you the payout for the rest of. Because, you know, we own the car, it might not cover the whole car. Like, which.

[Asante]

It's only gonna be a percentage.

[Fran]

It might be. Yeah. And I said to him, well, how is that that fair that we are not at fault?

[Asante]

Like some pennies on the dollar type?

[Fran]

Yeah.

[Asante]

It's like, why is it not just a clean cut? Like.

[Fran]

Like, this is what you owe. This is what you're getting back. Like, what are we even talking about?

[Dustin]

Lick from them. You just want them to pay it off and.

[Asante]

Yeah, like, see, and I'm have to get back into all of this too, because, you know, how be like, oh, you know, there's categories for too. It's like, it's a whole. Like, when people say. Say it's a scam, that's crazy that it's not just a simple. Because it's already chaotic as hell to have to deal with everything you're dealing with. But there's not a simple way to just be able to, like, have all at once.

[Fran]

It's all at once, like, from the couch to some barreling down the street.

[Asante]

And you gotta handle all of it, right?

[Fran]

Yeah. It's been two days.

[Dustin]

And I'm saying, you know, if she hitting it like this, she was Dale Earnhardt, you know what I'm saying? Jeff Gordon. And in a residential neighborhood.

[Fran]

In a residential neighborhood, and you're the manager of a. Like, a big restaurant out here, Caitlin.

[Asante]

Jenner, when you take her to court, make sure that y' all have the kids there. And you. And you say, like, you know, we have kids.

[Fran]

We are making the lot. All the kids on the block.

[Asante]

Okay. But it's a residential neighborhood. Thank God it was 3:00am in the, like. But unfortunately.

[Fran]

And the babies, like, the babies, especially our neighbors, she has, like, little, little babies, right? And. And this is like, such a quiet block. You know, the kids be on the sidewalk, like, playing, riding their bikes and stuff, like. And they'll go on the street sometimes. You know, obviously everyone's watching them. But that's scary to me that she. That, like, that can happen. Comfortable barreling that speed. No matter what she talked about. Oh, I snow girl.

[Dustin]

And I'm gonna tell you what else? Even though them kids was in the bed, you said, now your neighbor has little babies. Right?

[Fran]

Right. Yeah.

[Dustin]

Did you know when they had. When that boomed? It was three something in the morning. And she hit. She ran those kids, you know, she had to change them kids on theyself, you know, and at impact, when that impact happened, all them little diapers was.

[Fran]

Because she was.

[Dustin]

Kids started crying and everywhere.

[Fran]

She hit us immediately with her ring cam footage. She said, let me know if you need time stamps. Whatever the. You need. Like, I got you. That was really cool.

[Dustin]

Like a good neighbor.

[Fran]

Yeah. Immediately we had it. And that was good because we were able to show all angles to the cops right then and there, as well as the adjuster and like. But you know all that.

[Dustin]

Did you look at this lady and say, we gonna get you. You should. You should have mouthed that through your window, friend. He should have mouthed, we gonna get you.

[Fran]

But you know when shit like that happens, right?

[Dustin]

Yeah.

[Fran]

And it's not that you sit there and think, like, why me? Because I didn't think why.

[Dustin]

But why me?

[Fran]

Nothing. Nothing in my head was like, why me? As opposed, like, meaning, like, why not anyone else's God.

[Dustin]

Right, Right.

[Fran]

It was more so like, okay, it did happen to us specifically. That's very hard not to take personal and give meaning to. You know what I'm saying? That's what I was saying. That it tied in so well. Well, with the episode I had planned for today because it's. It's like a direct example of the ways that just comes out of left field in your life. You're doing good, you're progressing, or you're at ease, whatever the case may be, or shit is fucked up. And now this is adding to the pile on whatever the case may be. It's that feeling of like, what the fuck? Like, why would that. Why would we be experiencing that? Why are we taking on someone's shit from her life and now it's spilled into ours and then we are dealing with the consequences of her.

[Dustin]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Fran]

And it's hard not to sit. And you know, of course, I was having a convo with God, like, bro, what. What's. What happened?

[Dustin]

You probably didn't even say nothing at first. You just touched your lips and looked up.

[Fran]

Would you feel me? Like when things like that happen to you that are like a sideswipe or a rug pull, people would say, yeah. Whether it's grief, like, I know we've dealt with a lot of shit, and it's like, hard to not look at God. And be like, what happened? Like, why did not say. I hate to say like that. God felt you deserve that. But it's like, what's the. What's the conversation? What's the message?

[Dustin]

Well, why. That's a natural question. And curiosity. When people experience things that are. Are completely unfathomable. Right. Like, you couldn't even think that that would happen that night. And then once it did happen, you couldn't make sense of it. It's unfathomable, but it is real. And so you do ask why. I know you brought up grief. Think about that shit. Like, Fury moved to la. Y' all know me and Fury would be together every week, damn near every day, every weekend.

[Fran]

Yeah.

[Dustin]

Dietrich, one of. Basically my brother, best friend, moved to la. You know what I'm saying?

[Fran]

I remember. And that was all within, like a time frame.

[Dustin]

Within the one. The same year. Me and Frank are already dogs. We become even closer. You know what I'm saying? My friend Neff is a. A stable, you know, a. A staple. A staple in my life. And they leave by death. You know what I'm saying? They leave by death. So it's like, what the you. I did ask why me? I asked, why them? I did ask God that and meant it. And I did mean it in a way of why did they die and not some of the horrible people that I know exist.

[Fran]

Right.

[Dustin]

I did mean it like that.

[Fran]

Yeah.

[Dustin]

Okay. And so I totally understand what you're saying, and I'm sure you know our own version of that. You know what I mean?

[Fran]

Yeah. And I think that's the. The conversation even with these philosophies, right? Where people are like, things are meaningless, nothing matters. The universe is just chaotic. There's a part of me that's like, man, in a way, it would be relief to think that it's just the chaos of the universe. She just barreled into my car. Because that's just the car she fucking barreled in.

[Dustin]

Yeah.

[Fran]

When she. When I think of her restaurant, all the cars she passed, but it was mine, right?

[Dustin]

Right.

[Fran]

You know what I'm saying? When I think about. It was mine, my car. And let me tell you, when Dustin's talking about all the awful people, all the awful motherfuckers we have dealt with in this neighborhood. But it was us. Us that.

[Dustin]

Well, I ain't gonna get to.

[Fran]

With Trump signs and all kinds of weird treatment, you know what I'm saying? But it was us that got this experience. Oh, yeah. Forgot about that.

[Dustin]

You know, he moved. I'm still watching.

[Fran]

God gave me a solid, though. He moved. But anyway, but you know what I'm saying, Like all the cars she passed on the way. And that's why I'm like, you never want to be that person too, because I work really hard. You'll never control life in its totality, but I work really hard to peaceful of a life as I can control. I treat people well, I move with integrity. I do all the things within my power. Not that God is transactional, where he's like, oh, you're a good girl. Let me give you a good life. We know that's not how it works.

[Dustin]

But the Bible also says, as far as it depends upon you, and that's what you're doing. As far as it depends upon you feel better.

[Fran]

Exactly. Like I have experienced horrid things and I just want to mitigate harm because of that for myself and for others. That's how I choose to move through the world. And so when shit like this happens or whatever other grief we've experienced throughout the years, just the. That feeling of like, damn, you know, like, damn.

[Dustin]

On top of all the other shit.

[Fran]

On top of the shit that we are already managing as human beings, the stressors, the old shit that is playing in your. You're plaguing your mind on a daily basis that you're trying to move through the world, functioning as an adult. And then. You know what I'm saying? And. And I know that a car being totaled isn't like the end of the world. Like, it's a car. I'm safe, my partner's safe, everyone around us is safe. And at the end of the day, that is important, but it's just more so energetically, you know what I'm saying? Like, what the.

[Dustin]

That you don't even have to. You don't have to legitimize your feelings in any way. You don't have to ignore what feels natural. You can totally. You have every right to be mad than a motherfucker that this happened.

[Fran]

Yeah, every right too.

[Dustin]

Thankfully, you're keeping it in perspective and you're, you're reasonable, you know what I'm saying? And you're able to put it into perspective and say things like, it's not the end of the world, but friend, you can be mad as fuck about this. And that's okay.

[Fran]

Absolutely.

[Dustin]

That's okay.

[Fran]

Yeah, yeah, but that's what I'm saying. Like, I'm someone that. Y' all know me. I'm someone that finds meaning in everything. Actually, one of y' All. One of our listeners tagged me on a video on TikTok that had me crying because they were like, this is so Fran coded. That's what they wrote under the video and tagged me. And then it was a girl talking to her friends, and she was like, oh, my God, it's 11:11. And she, like, turned to her friends, was like, I love you guys, you know? Like, it was like that. Like, she kept finding things like, oh, my God, you're wearing purple. I'm wearing purple. Purple. He's wearing purple. And it was cutesy. Like, people that just look for signs and everything. And I really am that person. But sometimes, kind of like the absurdism philosophy where, like, we try to assign meaning to things without it ever being, like, making sense or being affirmed in any way. And it can almost drive you crazy, you know? And I had to really catch myself because there was that feeling in my body of every time I try to find peace, find calm, I'll find it. And then the rug gets pulled. And you don't want to be the person that's always bracing yourself for a rug pull either. Yeah, but it almost seems like that's just the human condition. Like. Yeah, it's just life, and I. And that's just what it is.

[Dustin]

Yeah, it is. Go ahead.

[Asante]

No, I just. I mean, there. There's so many different points that I wanted to touch on, and the conversation keeps moving, and it's so hard. So I'm just gonna try to simplify this as much as possible, but think about when you talk about the human condition. Right. I always think about tech from the technological standpoint. I always think about technology and social media. The world, at one point was different before everyone was putting in those AOL discs. And it's like we were like. Like having to. We. As if I was an adult, people had to, like, search for news. Or, like, we're only given, like, a specific set of news. Right. Only the news that was, like, the local news or the CNN or, you know, whatever printed news you got mailed to you or saw in other places. Now with the Internet, news is literally thrown at you all of the time. So you know about. There's so much news that you don't even know about what's going on. Whereas before, there was just all the news that you knew about was the news that was in front of you. You weren't thinking about other news. So it was hard to. It's hard even today to find a cause to stick to. I was talking to someone, and they were saying that they wanted to, you know, do so much. Not. No, nobody, nobody. Interesting just being. No, I know it. It was a woman and it wasn't that type of thing. So it's like, really.

[Dustin]

I didn't mean it was one of the. I just wondered who it was.

[Asante]

Anyway, she was telling me about how. How she was fighting for a cause and she felt this exhaustion because she felt like it was draining her. And basically she decided to live her life differently in little ways by, like, not consuming certain things and not trying to give into these machines and trying to, like, put me on really radically, which was super dope. And I was like, you know, it's dope that people like this exist, right? But then I think about how a lot of us, we didn't make it there. I don't know. So I thought that was admirable. But I thought it was so relatable because so many people nowadays, you know, we see these comments, causes we want to fight, we want to march, and there's so much that we have to do, and we want to do what we need to be doing. And so imagine when you're not in that space of where you're trying to fight, even though every day is a fight, right? Imagine when you're not in that space of where you wanting to fight and just keeps happening, or new news keeps piling up, it's so hard to breathe. But imagine when you stepped outside of that news cycle or you're trying to just do everything that you can to make yourself healthy enough, enough to be able to fight, right? And I think about you, and this is minuscule because the car, like we say it's a car, blah, blah, blah. But it's so big because what I was telling you before about the car, it's big that you as a New Yorker in your adulthood, you decided to do something new. Like, we saw Crystal go back and get her master's degree. And so many people decide to get their masters. You decide to get behind a wheel, which for some people, that's an everyday thing that they take for granted, you know, Right. For me, I don't drive and. And thinking about driving is super intimidating to me. Even though I could think about being a child, get behind that wheel and being like, I am driving, which was dangerous and crazy. But now I've. I'm so far removed. I actually do have, like this jitter of, like, it's going to be crazy when I get behind the wheel. Like, I have to, like, really just spend some time with a car. And there are People that have to get these special licenses to transport, you know, goods every day that luckily I thank God they are not crashing on a regular basis. I hope that they are not. But then you have these regular people that take it for granted. And we've talked on this show even before this about, like, Karen Huger and her drunk driving, like, how people just should not. And I told you, like, I admitted, like, you know, when I was younger, I thought that was cute. But as an adult, like, I super acknowledge that that is not. No cute. And like, I see how that can affect other people. And I think about how I normalize and. And it is normalized because so many people will be like, yeah, you know, I do that. I've done that. I made it home a bunch of times. I'll still do that. It's like, no, you've done that. And you need to thank God that you made it through it and. And make the change that. And stop, right? And literally cut it out. Learn the lesson before it's too late. That's why there are certain things that happen. And I'm like, all right, this has happened to me. This was crazy that I did this, but I have to make a change. So there are certain things that we do that are preventative, right? So, like, for you, you set your life up to where you can insulate certain things, but it doesn't. You don't insulate yourself to the point to where you're like, trying to keep away from the real. You're just trying to insulate yourself to where you can be a healthy person that can continue to pour into other people and make. And build these ecosystems or make them build each other. Or like you are trying to give back and pour in. So when something like this happens to you, it makes you wonder, like, what is going on? Like, where. Like, is there a leak? Because I know how you are. You're like, is there a leak somewhere you already know.

[Fran]

I started looking around, like, okay, what needs to change?

[Asante]

But with everything that I've said, because it's so chaotic, I've touched on so many different points. There is so much going on that sometimes and. And it's so dumb because I really want to talk about our hookaby. So I'm going to end it up, end with sometimes a bunch of just be happening and like, you really have no control over it. And I heart Huckabees, the main character, by the end of the movie, him and Jude Law, he was happy because he realized that they were the same. Like the. That he had put him through. And then he started putting him through. But then he realized that because of the other characters interview interfering with Jude Law's life, like, his was coming up, that he had real stuff going on too. He realized he's like, we are the same. And there was a point where they were, like, laying on the Jude Law's lawn chanting, creation, destruction. Creation, destruction. As they were destroying his jet skis. That's right. And he was losing his. Like, you know, these are my jet skis. And Jude lost mine. It's like, I've worked so hard, and in somebody's mind, it's like, yeah, you've worked so hard being a snake for a corporation, blah, blah, blah. But for him, it's like he worked so hard trying to build up who he was and get. And, like, make it in life and whatever. But, you know, you couldn't really humanize that character because he was opposite to this person who was fighting for green spaces. And he just so happened to lie about his existence or his trauma as a child. And that's why he couldn't get this coincidence thing right.

[Dustin]

Because.

[Asante]

But as soon as they put him in the with his family, they realized, like, oh, you weren't even comfortable talking about a cat. You realized you had to lie about your feelings. That's why you've lied all this time. Like, it was just a bunch of random shit happening in this movie. But all these connections were made just to make me realize, like, oh, you know what? Do just be happy. Like, that's why when I watch that movie, I feel better. I feel like a lot of different lessons come up for me. But that's one of the main things. I feel better because this is a bunch of. And sometimes you feel good. Sometimes you are doing the right thing. Thing. And sometimes that just don't matter. And none of it is fair. And none of that is to. I hate that I'm trying to, like, say, you know, like, a bad way or a good way.

[Fran]

I'm not trying to make it realistic.

[Asante]

You know what I'm saying? Like. Like, none of it is supposed to, like, you're supposed to have good times and you're not supposed to have bad times, but you have bad times, you know?

[Fran]

Yeah.

[Asante]

And so when you have bad times, that's why when I have bad times, whatever that looks like, there's a piece of me that's always like, all right, the time right now is back bad, but you've been through a bad time before. Whatever that looks like. Maybe a relatable one maybe this is an uncharted one. So now we know that this is going to be a process. So give yourself time, give yourself grace, whatever that looks like. So, unfortunately, this has happened to you. And I told you before, I. I meant every word I said in the chat, like. And I'm not going to say none of what I'm alluding to, but I mean every word.

[Dustin]

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[Asante]

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[Dustin]

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[Asante]

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[Fran]

But here's my question to y'. All. When shit like this happens, right, Those rug pulls, do you try to figure out what it means or do you just take it as this is just another fucking, like, life? Or do you sit and try to dissect, like, is there a message? Is this an alert? Is this, you know, is this a notification from God about something that needs to shift in my life? Like, do you do all that or do you just be like, another thing?

[Dustin]

For me, it's a combination of both equally and. And not so much that like questioning or trying to decipher a message from God. For me, it more so looks like, okay, what could I have done to make any of this shit, like, not happen or things go differently, right? What am I not gonna do again? Type. But that's only now because I'm older and I care about having integrity in that way, your situation, you know what I'm saying? That lady that hit your car, right? Them whole ass officers that didn't want to damn do their job, that insurance agency, if they don't do what they were supposed to do and it's okay to be mad about it. That's how I feel. I don't feel like you need to even spend. No. Even though I know you already have have work through it. You know what I'm Saying in your own way, don't even try to dispel those signs sit in that.

[Fran]

I mean, and you're right. And you're right. It's like her, the adjuster.

[Asante]

And maybe that's part of.

[Dustin]

You know what I'm saying, Like this. This what I'm saying, right? Like, of course, when things happen in order, I'll just speak for myself. In order for me to be able to manage my emotions and think. Think and be solution based like I am, naturally I have to think myself through every feeling I have. I have to write myself and things. I'm the type of person where things have to add up and make sense and, you know, everything is sensible. And when it. When things don't make sense, that's how I know something is off. And so you know that I don't believe. I also don't believe that we serve a God or a spiritual force that feels like we have to learn shit the hard way. I don't. And that's why I don't have a problem assigning blame in situations like what happened to you. That's that bitch fault. That ain't God telling you you need to do anything differently. That hoe got drunk and smashed into your car, okay, because she was reckless. Because she was reckless. And because he was right there. Because it was nice.

[Asante]

Listen, right?

[Fran]

That bitch probably was like, who's women?

[Dustin]

I'm gonna hit that one. I'm not trying to ramble.

[Fran]

She had the nerve while she was crying too, to be like, your car's so nice. I know.

[Dustin]

That's how you to grab her hair and beat her face in. I know.

[Asante]

See, friend, I think that this is your opportunity to make it a black lady courtroom and take her to court. Court. And really flex your muscles. Like, I really feel like you should go speak to a lawyer. I really feel like this, this might be. This might be the parlay. Because, you know, you used to talking to lawyers and stuff like that. And not that you just need to go on a suing spree. You know what I'm saying? Not.

[Dustin]

Not that, but if you have to.

[Asante]

But when we talk about. When we talk about parable of the Sower and stuff like that, we all have our contributions and I feel like, you know, by using you getting. Speaking to a lawyer and just learning the processes and then walking you through even what your options could be before you pull any triggers of any sort and you being like, oh, you know what? There are a few different ways I could go about this. Really? Wow. And like, you Realize, like, you know, that's the suggestion. Maybe you could, you know, sue the insurance people and they could owe you that back end. Or if, you know, it would be a joint thing or just find.

[Dustin]

Discover your options is what he said.

[Asante]

Discover your options. That's why I feel like if you talk to a lawyer, somebody. And I feel like it would be fruitful and that I. I think, because.

[Fran]

Even that, it's like, I know me having to do that, it's like she brought that to me.

[Dustin]

I get it.

[Fran]

The person that don't know the.

[Asante]

Don't give a.

[Dustin]

About the business.

[Fran]

You know what I'm saying? But you know what?

[Asante]

Do you know any black lawyers in Portland?

[Fran]

No. See, good luck.

[Dustin]

They don't know you after they hear this show, because you're definitely going to get some pings.

[Fran]

Yeah. And I'm sure people will have suggestions. But it was, you know, when we sat down and started talking about it, because my partner, he's more of the practical guy, right. I'm more of the, like, I love luxury. He. And he just felt like. Like he was like, I'm not gonna hold you. That car has been a money drain. Like, it just has been. It's beautiful. He was like, I'm grateful as fuck that we even have the type of life where we could have the car we want.

[Dustin]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Fran]

That's a blessing. Don't take it for granted in any way. He's like, but it was a huge lesson.

[Asante]

Yeah.

[Fran]

Having something quote, unquote like that. Because it's like, what do we really. Why do we really have that car? For real. For real. Like, we were sitting, having that very radically honest conversation every time something happened like this. The crazy part is this is. Was so crazy. We had just gotten the car out of the shop, the dealership that day.

[Asante]

Oh.

[Fran]

Because my. Remember I told y'.

[Asante]

All.

[Fran]

Remember I told y' all a couple days ago, I said, y', all, my check engine light came on. And y' all were like, ah. And I was like, damn, Pray for me. Because y' all know the car is gonna be expensive. We go. Mind you, the issue was something with the filter. $800.

[Asante]

Oh, my God.

[Fran]

For a filter. So we were already like, God damn this car. And then, you know, and it just. It's been things like that where a car like that is premium pricing. When shit goes wrong just because of the name, and in reality, it's stupid and. And we have the money, like, we're able to. But does because you have the money, does that mean you should be stupid. It.

[Asante]

Yeah.

[Dustin]

Only when you want to. You know. And that's not often.

[Fran]

I think that's the convo. Yeah. And that's the convo we were having. Because I'm not big flexi person. Like, y' all see. I look how I dress. I'm super chill. I have little parts of my life where you see. But for the most part, I'm chilling.

[Dustin]

Yeah.

[Fran]

And that for some reason, I just really wanted a beautiful car. I'm like, if I'm gonna be driving on and feel happy, I want to feel good. And like, I love it. I love getting in it. I love when I pick up my friends and they feel good in it. It's something about it. It just makes me happy. I work hard. I can afford it. He works hard. He can afford it. We work together. It's like, why not? But then we really had that convo about the stupidity of premium shit.

[Dustin]

But I also. Right. I also. To be like, y' all wanted that.

[Fran]

Right. And that's what I told you.

[Dustin]

It's a premium. Yes. Whatever.

[Fran]

We got the right to have. Have some things in life that maybe don't make sense.

[Dustin]

Sacrifice everywhere just because there's an opportunity to sacrifice. I'm not saying you make bad decisions. You know what I mean? And just be reckless with your spending. But something like that. I don't want y' all to beat yourselves up for having a car in the first place.

[Fran]

Thinking that God is like, it away because you don't need it. Yeah.

[Dustin]

God don't work like that. And God is the reason you was able to have that car in the first place. So that. Don't even put that on it. You know what I'm saying? Separate that.

[Fran]

But it's a combo. We were.

[Dustin]

Logical conversation.

[Fran]

Because I think we were trying to make sense.

[Dustin]

Right.

[Fran]

And that's the thing. I think with these philosophies, right. It's like human.

[Asante]

You're trying to learn.

[Fran]

Going to categorize experience.

[Asante]

Exactly.

[Fran]

This goes in this box because I need to understand why it happened. And my mind is going to try to reconcile it in every way possible so it makes sense that we're trying to, like, come to these conclusions.

[Dustin]

Like, for sure. I totally get it. Your mind is racing as it would be.

[Fran]

Racing as it would.

[Dustin]

Because there's so much to consider.

[Fran]

Yeah.

[Dustin]

But I. Look, listen. You work exceptionally hard. That's the thing. And when a person. The point of doing that is to have more options when it's time to make decisions. You know what I'm Saying you don't have to get a certain type of car because that's all you can get. Get as a benefit of the hard work that you do, you now have more options to consider. You get what I'm saying? And there's nothing wrong with exploring those options, having some fun fruits. That's the point of working when you don't want to.

[Fran]

Right.

[Dustin]

Okay. And working harder than you are obligated to is to benefit from the surplus. So don't beat yourself up about having something that is a luxury item. You know what I'm saying? That is. That is a. A. A gift to yourself and to your dedication and your hard work. My. Like, yeah. And you fly. You know what I'm saying? So if you're gonna buy a car like, duh, you got a nice whip that you felt good in, you know what I'm saying? It's. That that's where it begins and that's where it ends. And I don't think that. That this was a. I don't think. No. I hope I'm not blasphemous. Well, you know my heart. You know what I'm saying? So, like, I don't think that that guy was trying to teach you a lesson, you know what I'm saying, About being ostentatious or something like. No.

[Fran]

And I don't think that we. Yeah. And I don't think it deep down in our hearts that we even really.

[Dustin]

Feel that way, but it's something to. It's a point to be made.

[Fran]

Yeah. It's just like us trying to figure out, are there changes we need to make? Like, what's up now?

[Asante]

Listen, I am sorry. I hate to interrupt, but I, for one, sorry. I thought about Toya for half a second, and I'm not gonna go that route. All I will say is I will. I will land in here. I, for one, am never against trying to find it out or trying to understand what the lesson is to get to the blessing. Okay. And. Or, you know, why I lost the blessing. And if that was a lesson or any of that, I. I don't think that it's wrong to try to understand that. If you believe in any of that, what I will also say to you, friend, is I would like to thank you for sharing all of this, because again, as Dustin was saying, there is nothing wrong wrong with saying that and hating the fact that. And leaving at that. But honestly, you didn't do it super hard. You work super hard for this, and it's a loss. Like, yes, it's a car to some people, but, like, it's a car that it's your first car. You were a New York girl who had been hitting on the train for years. You know what I'm saying? So now for you to say that you move, you have your piece, and then you had your piece on the road, and you was learning your way on the road. You was empowering other people to get back on the road. Road. It's like, like, that car wasn't just a car. Like, it was like literally your baby because it's your first car, but it means a lot. And so I think it's super dope that you even shared that you and him had. Your partner had the conversation about, you know, what does it mean to like, like, this car was a drain. So do we want to keep going this route? Like, what does this mean? You know what?

[Dustin]

Bigger one.

[Asante]

This car was a drain. And maybe that's what we unfortunately, I hate that it had to go like this, but, like, maybe this is not that it's part of the design because again, like, I hate to make it that it's part of this design, but maybe, unfortunately, because somebody else's design was off and it up your machine a little bit, now is the time to figure out how to improve this design. Right? So are we gonna get the same thing and trick it out even more? Are we gonna get something else that's.

[Fran]

A little bit different? And the irony that we just had this convo last week about the woman living off grid and one of the. And I was. And I was saying one of the questions.

[Asante]

No, I'm just kidding.

[Fran]

One of the questions that we posed in that conversation was, would you be willing to give up your things for a more whittled down, simple life if. If need be. And one of the things that I said was, was that would be hard for me because I like my things. And lo and behold, God said bing. And I'm just kidding. Like, I don't think he gave me a lesson in me because I'm not.

[Dustin]

Like out here get that. Now you hear them, Simon? They're going to get that drunk bitch.

[Fran]

But honestly, like, that's ironic.

[Asante]

That is. Y.

[Fran]

You know what I mean? And then now we're having that convo about like, like the things that we do have and why we have them and what does it really mean and what's the actual use? And you know, and it is funny because my partner is funny because, you know, we'll have that. And then literally, like two hours later, he Was looking at new car and I said, well, how. How much is that one? He was like, no, I'm just looking. I said, okay, because I think that costs more.

[Asante]

Because listen, brother, look, if the price is right, whatever that means, Price is right don't mean lower all the time. If the price is right, you know.

[Fran]

It has to make sense.

[Asante]

You know, I'm just saying.

[Fran]

All jokes aside though, I think it's funny because we just had that off grid conversation last week and it's. I remember Haas used to say sometimes the lessons be front row.

[Dustin]

That's real.

[Fran]

That you be talking about figuring out out all of a sudden, boom lesson. Like really front row seat to the lesson and the questions that you need to start asking yourself. And, and I think the, the thing about being a human, right, is we don't know how all of this is connected. I might be cracking jokes about the off grid, but who knows? It might really be a part of that. It might be a part of me having to change. Like, I don't know, like deep down we don't know. I do and I don't. You know what I'm saying? Because it's something that I have have been toiling with as a human being about excess, about being an American that just be buying to buy. What's the use? We seeing all these natural disasters seeing happening. I'm not saying that you have to like restrict yourself as a human because life is hard. Like that's not going to make it any easier. You have to find joy. You know, we have these conversations, but just. But also it just makes you think about life and what matters and the things that we have prioritized and why and kind of take a step back and just looking at some shit. Because I can be mad at her for being drunk and on pills and whatever the fuck, but it's hard for me to front. Like I'm not also sitting here wondering why my car and what should I be taking from all of this right now and why now I can have.

[Dustin]

I have something you can take from this, right? No, I'm dead ass serious too. See, I'll be serious. When y' all think I'll be watching.

[Asante]

Just say what you gotta say because we still don't know. It don't even matter if you say that.

[Dustin]

Just say, I promise. You also can look at it like this. Like, yes, this situation happened, right? But you're also in a position to completely move through whatever process follows it with ease. You'll have the money to do whatever you have to do.

[Fran]

And that's the blessing.

[Dustin]

Access to resources that would have literally interrupted their life completely.

[Fran]

One of our own friends hit me and said, girl, the same thing happened to my car, and I have been driving it crushed because I don't have the finances to total it out or get it fixed or even have an adjuster come. And then, you know, we were having that convo, and I was like, you know what? That's some real shit. Like.

[Asante]

Yep.

[Fran]

I have to also be grateful that, like I said, it's. It. It was shocking to my system, but it's also something that I can just, like, move forward, manage.

[Dustin]

You can manage it without the additional anxiety of securing resources or figuring out how to make something out of nothing. And I think that's if any messaging is coming. Cause I don't believe God is mean. You know what I'm saying? So if any messages came, I think that that might be. Be. You know what I'm saying? What you can take from this, I don't think you have to find any deficiency or look for any type of lacking on your end. I just don't.

[Fran]

Your car was parked, you know, and.

[Dustin]

It'D be different if you was driving your was parked. You know what I'm saying?

[Asante]

I'm really telling you, like, I'm. See sometimes you. Sometimes, God, you know, it's. In hindsight, you know what I'm saying? I'm telling you, you'll get to the other side of this lawsuit. You don't know. Judge, judges. You're gonna know everybody down at the courthouse and be like, you know what? I. I can even make third spaces now because I know the city planner now. I'm telling you.

[Fran]

No, you're right. Sometimes this could be a breadcrumb to something else, you know, and that. And that's something that we will see later. And I. And honestly, I. I didn't want to, like, focus so much on the car thing. I did want to open it up more, but, I mean, I guess it's just what was on my heart. It's just what I'm dealing.

[Asante]

That's why I'm saying core.

[Fran]

Because I. I wanted to core House. I wanted to talk like. And I'll say it briefly since we're here. Like, even the people that you meet in life, right, like, think of, like, the friends that have come into your life who, just because they came into your life so much changed, whether it was for the good or the bad, like opportunities or. And think about relationships that destroyed you, but through that destruction, also made you Kind of like have to walk through a fire that made you a better version of yourself that will, like, never have to. To deal with a person like that again. You know what I'm saying? Like, you needed that fortification. Like, think of the people that have come in and come out, the. The opportunities, the cities you've lived in that have changed you, whether it was for the good, for the bad. Like, I think of all the small configurations, day to day, month to month, week to week, year to year, that, like, you're just moving through on this grid, right, of life and, like, little shit like this happening. Asante moving to North Carolina, like, that's going to change him in so many ways than if he had stayed in New York. And you'll never know who you would have been if you stayed in New York. You don't know if you would have. Who you'd be if you didn't move to North Carolina. You know, I don't know what I.

[Asante]

Would have stayed in Atlanta.

[Fran]

If you would have been.

[Asante]

If you would have stayed in Atlanta.

[Fran]

If, oh, never was going to happen. But you're right, like, even the years that I was living in Atlanta, of the horrors that I endured, who you.

[Asante]

Would have been if you would have never went to Atlanta, if I'd ever.

[Fran]

Met that person I went to Atlanta with. You know what I'm saying? Like, those are the things that I think about, where it's like. And it's almost. I remember there was a God. What was it? I don't know. Podcast well, ties in. Welcome back away. I don't know if it was a podcast, a radio show. There was something I was hearing one day in a car, I think I was, like, in the Uber, and they were talking about the paradox of, like, pain and how, like, you don't want it. We do everything to avoid it. We numb ourselves, we try to control the fuck out of our days, of our lives, of who's around, of what we let in. Because we're so obsessed, scared to feel pain, but, like, it's painful. That has made the best versions of you at the same time. You know what I.

[Dustin]

What? Not to you, but to the. Whoever came up with that.

[Fran]

You know, that's what I mean about the paradox.

[Dustin]

Because I ain't have to learn the hard way. I don't give a fuck. You could have just told me some shit, okay? And if it makes sense, I'm gonna do it that way, okay?

[Fran]

When I think of the worst people, all the things I also think, like Asante was saying earlier, When I got to the other side, I really liked that version of me that at the same time wouldn't have come to. To life if I didn't walk through that shit. And so it's the paradox of pain. You don't want it. It's fucked up. Like you said, I don't need to learn the hard way. We joke on Twitter. God, I'm not one of your toughest soldiers. Leave me alone. But at the same time, there's going to be another side to this experience. There's been other sides to all those that have come in out of our lives, all those things, you know what I'm saying? And it's just such an interesting conversation as a human to try to understand. Like, is nihilism, absurdism, where, like, none of this matters. It's just chaotic. But, like, I also have gotten so much out of all the things that have happened. How can I think that there's no meaning to any of this shit? And even as a human being, when you look at your body, let's be real hotep for a second, all your organs, all the things that have to come together for you to function as a human, you think like, that that was chaotically conceived. You know what I mean? Like, what? It just. I don't know, right?

[Dustin]

I know. Being your foot or something.

[Fran]

Like, I know that people are going to believe whatever system helps them get through, right? Helps them get through the day. You know what I'm saying? For some of us, for me personally, meaning helps me, having a goal helps me. And we're reading Parable of the Talents. And in the end of the book, Lauren, the protagonist, said, you know, you shape your life through every decision, every person, everything, everything. You're just constantly shaping. Life is like a ball of clay. You're just shaping, shaping, shaping. And these things that happen are part of the shaping. And that's what keeps me going. Otherwise, I would be a mad woman in the woods screaming over everything that I've experienced. It's like, I have no choice. It has to fit into a box so that Fran can wake up and do her work and function and pay her bills and talk to other humans with respect and kindness. Because the shit that we've been through, if I don't do that, if I don't have gold and almost like. Like some walls around myself, I will lose it.

[Dustin]

I hear you.

[Asante]

And I. I get it.

[Fran]

You feel me.

[Asante]

But sometimes, and maybe this same way.

[Fran]

No, no, reel me in, because totally.

[Asante]

And it's. It's totally understandable. Super relatable. I totally get it, right? And maybe I'm wrong, but sometimes I feel like certain things happen.

[Fran]

And.

[Asante]

You know how sometimes you like, oh, this is a lesson for you. This ain't for me. Like. Like, sometimes I feel like sometimes like her ramming into your car like a idiot. Her drunk ass, right? That's why I'm like, oh, you got to take her to court. Like, something with her needs to happen. Let's remember.

[Fran]

And this might be change. This might change her life. Maybe she needed to.

[Asante]

It's supposed to. It should.

[Dustin]

I don't give a damn what.

[Fran]

But what it had to do with me.

[Asante]

Ye. That's why I keep Look. That's why. And look. That's why look. And you know, I'm the little limit, right? That's why I keep saying court. Because I feel like once you take her to court and wake her ass.

[Dustin]

Up, what are they going to court for? What is. What is the. What is the charge? What. What are they going.

[Fran]

He just want me to go to court.

[Dustin]

That's why.

[Asante]

That's why I said, look. That's why the initial was, look, we need to talk to a lawyer. We need. Look, let her get the win in first, and we gonna figure out the rest of the path, okay? Okay.

[Fran]

But you know, Asante been seeing Megan and Cardi and Rihanna. He's like, get your suits.

[Asante]

When we was at Crystal's house, we was talking about the good wife and the good fight, honey. And the people know that I love me some Christine Baranski. And then when Audrey McDonald came, too, I was like, see y'.

[Dustin]

All.

[Asante]

Y' all got me. But look, I'm not.

[Dustin]

Audra McDonald looks so mean. And I know she's probably not even a mean person, but I hope she just looks mean. And I don't think she is because she's fucking Audra McDonald. Like the ghost goat, okay? The goat of all goats, like, on that Broadway. And anything she works in, I just.

[Asante]

She's played mean sometimes, and she's played it well.

[Dustin]

So I don't want her to be. I don't believe she is. She looks so mean.

[Asante]

I mean, she be working.

[Dustin]

You see her in a raising in this anyway, Go ahead.

[Asante]

Yes.

[Dustin]

I just feel like she was mean.

[Asante]

Maybe not. Maybe not lawyer per se, or. Or going to court per se say. But if you feel like you just want to be a. And with her a little bit, maybe that's what you got to do. And then you wake up and realize, like, oh, actually, this ain't what I want to do or like, actually, I got my check in. It's more than so you know this and you. And throw it in her face or show up at the job and stun on the. Like, there are many different ways little things you could or couldn't do. Again, I know that this is all super annoying. That's why I'm saying to you more than anything, if you just want to say it, this is some. There is nothing wrong with that, like, at all. Because again, you have worked super hard and we all understand what that means. And if you can't, like, separate the fact that you have done that and you didn't deserve this happening to you, it's okay to say that sometimes I know we feel like that's a little entitled to be like, I don't deserve. Because, well, damn if I say I don't deserve it. This has happened to them. My flights got canceled all yesterday. I was pissed. I was at. I had to fly out from LaGuardia. I ended up taking my flight out from JFK today. The fact that I had to go to different airports and they were all getting canceled because. But you know what? It was the weather. Initially, it didn't seem like it was the weather because we were literally on the plane before and they gave us an optional deep planing and then they were like, oh, actually it's because of the weather. I was like, this is a little tricky. But then when the rest of the fights got canceled, okay, you know what? It actually is because of the weather. I had already got my Sky Miles credit because I said it wasn't because of the weather, because they did lie on that plane. But it's still to what we were saying before, it's great that I can actually afford to get on another flight. There are some people that whether cancel their flight, the other fights get oversold, or they bought a type of ticket to where, you know, they have to pay a difference that they can't afford. They're in a pickle. Luckily, I can say, damn, you know what? That was inconvenient as hell. I still had to get off this plane. They come record and I really just wish I can get in my bed. But there are some people that are. They have to sit in the airport indefinitely or they have to, oh, they're.

[Fran]

Missing important things like funerals, someone at the hospital. Like, it's all kinds of. Yeah, right.

[Asante]

And so there's nothing wrong with me tapping in and thinking about those things outside of me saying, like, all right, that you like, damn, that was up because it was up that I had to deal with that. But it also is a little bit more up for some other people. And that gives me perspective. And you don't always have to do that, but it is. It's real that you do it.

[Fran]

You're mad.

[Asante]

You're human. You're human. So you have moments. So, you know, just mark it as one of those things, you know, I was saying again, and I hard hooked the bees. I. I realized at the end of that our right. I realize that I'm going to go through bad things and that there's a process. Just add this to part of your process. You know, sometimes if you gonna have to take that L. All right. I don't like taking Ls, so I'm gonna have to give myself some time as I go through this. Y' all be patient with me because this is it is some. And we gonna look at you like that is some. So we will extend you the utmost grace. But you ain't even ask us for none of that. So, like, you don't need none of that. So. So give yourself enough grace to be a bitch. That's why I want you to land. And I feel like you'd be a bad bitch in the courtroom. And I stopped saying it.

[Fran]

You in this courtroom. I will say this too. And I was saying we had just bought our car back right from the dealership. They had sent me a bill, right, for $3,000 for something with our tire and our rim. And thank the Lord. Thank the Lord that my. Because I'm someone that I'll just pay shit. Like, I just like getting it out my ha. Very much. That person, my partner, for whatever reason was. I. Hold off on that. Don't let's not pay that today. Like, hold off on that. I need to. I need to see what the. They're talking about, you know, like, he was like, at this point, it's getting ridiculous.

[Asante]

Yeah.

[Fran]

What if we would have paid that just gone after. We just paid what we paid for the filter? That's damn near 4k. It would have just been gone because.

[Dustin]

She did it later on that night.

[Fran]

You know what I'm saying? And we literally were sitting there like, holy shit. Like, I don't know.

[Asante]

Yeah.

[Fran]

Those of you listening, I'm curious how you feel when you get those rug pull events in your life. Do you assign meaning? Do you also agree with nihilism and absurdism that life is just chaotic? Shit's just gonna happen? It was just your luck of the draw. Like Is that how you feel? Or do you stay there, it's your turn. Or do sit there and start analyzing. Like, okay, why me? What do I need to change in my life? Am I not living right? Do I need to make adjustments? Or like, Asante was making fun of me, where I'll say, what's the energy leak? What in my life is leaking that needs.

[Asante]

But sometimes it's real.

[Fran]

You know, that's calling in.

[Asante]

But in this situation, and we'll see.

[Fran]

Time will tell what the other side of this is. And that's just my belief system. I personally do believe that every time has a message. I don't. It don't necessarily have to be for a reason.

[Asante]

Somebody listening, gonna give you a car.

[Fran]

You never know, right? So I'm curious where y' all stand in this conversation. Thank you for allowing me to just, like, tell y' all what was on my heart. I was already doing this episode, but the irony that I had a story, a testimony to share about this, because this is exactly.

[Dustin]

That's God telling you we need to go on tour. That's how important the friend zone. That's God saying, but no, because God.

[Fran]

Said this year, you can rest this.

[Dustin]

Life, mess up with the show.

[Asante]

I can't tell if that's your God voice or your Aki voice. But, friends, thank you for sharing, and I hope we did a good job of supporting you because do a great job of giving us space and providing that for us.

[Fran]

And no, you guys, that's why I.

[Asante]

Feel like, you know, if you just want to be a. Be a. But I feel like you would be a bad in the court.

[Dustin]

Oh, my God.

[Fran]

Y' all were the first. Y' all, were you in this courtroom? Y' all were the first.

[Asante]

It's a bl.

[Fran]

Yeah. One of the first people I hit when I. When I got the video, right after she hit me, I sent it to y' all and was like, y', all. Yeah, look at this.

[Asante]

I couldn't believe that.

[Fran]

I text them the video and told them, y', all, this is my. My car. This. That was my car. That. That lady just barreled anyway.

[Asante]

And then when she backed up and was stuck, I was like.

[Fran]

I yelled.

[Asante]

I said, she trying to be out.

[Dustin]

I said, I would have been telling her that, too. Like, I seen you trying to leave, too.

[Fran]

Okay, well, she. But the thing about her hitting my car, unfortunately for her, was that my car is a brick house.

[Dustin]

That's right. Baby her down on it. When I tell you, it's not often that I'm I try to mince words and not make things personal when I'm annihilating somebody right her ass. Oh, she'd have been all kind of. I would. I would have cussed her. The out. There would have been no way I would have been able to look at my and not do that. But anyway, let's move on.

[Fran]

Wonderful friend learned. And. And it is what it is. And that's it for this week's happens segment.

[Dustin]

Welcome to the Friends.

[Fran]

So I was just parking my car and then I saw you. The Gecko. Huge fan. I'm always honored to meet fans out in the wild. The honor is mine.

[Asante]

I just love being able to file.

[Fran]

A claim in under two minutes with the Geico app. Well, the Geico app is top notch. I know you get asked this all the time, but could you sign it? Sign what? The app. It. Yeah, sure. Oh, that means so much. Oh, it rubbed off the screen when I touched it. Could you sign it again? Anything to help, I suppose. You're the best.

[Asante]

Get more than just savings. Get more with Geico.

[Dustin]

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[Fran]

Thank you.

[Dustin]

You're welcome. Floors Head committed to craft since 1905.

[Fran]

So this week in wellness, we have been talking about community. Right, Dustin? He look like the rheotomy. We have been talking about community with the off grid conversation and even with the fires that were happening in la, the way that everyone came together to pool resources and still have been. So that conversation and that theme of community has been really big this year, I feel. And I told you guys a couple of weeks ago, I remember, I was like, have y' all checked out Hillman Talk on Instagram? Did y' all get a chance to look at.

[Asante]

I didn't check it out.

[Dustin]

Not yet.

[Asante]

But I was. Y', all, you know, I ain't been on Tik Tok. You said on Instagram or Tik Tok.

[Dustin]

Tik Tok.

[Fran]

On Tik Tok. Yeah.

[Asante]

I haven't been on since Tik Tok. You know, the whole weird thing. I haven't been on it like I wanted.

[Fran]

No.

[Asante]

You know, I don't know why. Like, I haven't gravitated back into it. Like I have. Like, like I was.

[Fran]

I mean, I get it. It was a Lot of emotion for nothing. That just kind of fell flat. And honestly, I haven't even been on it as much, which probably was a good thing, to be honest. Honest. But one thing that came of Tik Tok that I absolutely loved is this Hillman Tik Tok, right? Which is. They calling it the unofficial HBCU of TikTok that's educating people about black history. I actually saw that NPR's Aisha Rasco, who's one of their journalists, did a whole episode about this. You can put in NPR and Hillman talking. It'll pop up. And she was discussing that the movement, or explaining, I should say, that the movement was started by Dr. Leah Barlow, who's a professor at North Carolina Agricultural and Technical State University, also known as North Carolina A&T. And it was so interesting because she just started off. I don't know if she was joking or being more playful about it. Just being like, I'm a professor. These are the classes I teach. Get your syllabi, get your books together. Like, here's the stuff we're going to be discussing. But it actually, like, caught fire. And her saying that, I think that was jokingly turned into other black professors from different HBCUs and just different universities coming to her and being like, hey, I teach finance, I teach history, I teach, you know, dance, whatever the case may be. And they all came together there, formed, like, Voltron, and decided to start this HBCU on TikTok, where people have class schedules and they have homework.

[Asante]

I love that.

[Fran]

And classes and session. And I've, like, peaked here and there through it. And, like, people are taking this very seriously. And I think in a world now where education is being tormented, it's being compromised. Tormented book bands, all the things that they are trying to put in the way of people being their best ourselves, this is beautiful because it's free, it's global. You know, it, it has. It doesn't matter if you have, like, what class you're in. As far as, like, finances. It's not about that. It's just teachers coming together and teaching classes free of charge for anyone who wants to access it. And I just think that's really beautiful work. It kind of reminds me even the first Feast, who we had earlier as the black business, who started these STEM workshops, just people who are highly educated and paying it forward for those coming up behind them. And this is really beautiful. I don't know if anyone, if everyone's aware of it. I definitely had to put it on people's radar because I Just think it's fascinating. Like people are really. Because college, for me, I always said I think college happens too early. Early, I think for you to be 18, deciding what you want to do with your life, I think it's too early. Yeah, I imagine me in college now, which I am gonna go back for, like farming school. And that to me is because like you've lived life, you know, you've got, you've had a couple different jobs, maybe fields.

[Dustin]

Your ability to focus is completely different.

[Fran]

And your ability to, because your intention is completely different. You're not being made to, to go to school. You're deciding to go to school, choosing to. You're choosing what you want to study. And it's going to hit different when it's in alignment with your goals in life as opposed to when you're 18 and you're like, I don't know, don't do psychology, sociology, like you don't know. You pick a major so your mom will shut the up half the time. Like that's really the decision how it's made. Or people's parents be picking for them based on what they want their kids to be.

[Asante]

So based on where you at and.

[Fran]

You can get into whichever, you know what I'm saying? A lot of weird factors that play in when you're that young making such a serious decision. And college is expensive to make a decision like that. That at the end, half of us, more than half of us, don't even use our degrees for anything of value because you don't even get jobs when you finish college. Shout out to America. But I wanted to put that on your radar in case maybe there is a field that you wanted to brush up on or tap into. And maybe you didn't have the funds to go do a semester at school right now, but at least this will help you kind of get started. Sometimes you just need a battery in your back. Maybe some of you were considering going back to school and this could kind of be the nudge to help.

[Dustin]

And if you're a dumbass, you can be stupid in private. You know what I'm saying? It's just you and your phone. And you can work through that. You know, you can work through that. If you're a stupid. You stupid. This is a great way for you to practice first before you know you do in person, learning somewhere.

[Fran]

And it's good because the professors are taking it seriously. I think that's the part that's cool. It's not like this casual thing. It's like, no, these are professors that do this and are doing it for you for free on TikTok. So him and Tyler put it into the browser. I did see some controversy coming up. I don't know if it got. No, no, no, no, no. Nothing wrong in terms of us, but a white woman took the domain. Exactly. A white woman went and did hillmantalk, I guess dot com. And people were livid because they're like, while our community is trying to come together to help each other and do what we do, which is pour into each other, here comes comes the colonizer trying to figure out how to capitalize on the situation. Hopefully that got official.

[Dustin]

Him and talk.com.

[Fran]

Right. Hopefully that got resolved. I don't know where that situation stands now, but I was so pissed when.

[Dustin]

I heard the real URL should be anyways. Hillmancock.com that should be. That should be the URL anyways. Hill and Cock.

[Fran]

Well, that was so aggravating when I heard that. Like, how could you do that? What kind of human being would even be thinking about that? It'd be different if you bought it because you're like, yo, let me help them out and get it and then transfer it over. You know what I'm saying?

[Dustin]

Or gave somebody the money to get it type shit. You don't buy business.

[Fran]

Right, Right. But that's it. I just wanted to put that on your radar in case you were unfamiliar. And those of you who may be already participating definitely let us know in the comments, which is you've been studying, what you think, what you've been reading. Also put us on because, you know, we have our own book club. Maybe there's some books that we need to be reading for the English classes. And that's it. That's it for this week's wellness update. Now we can jump into Mr. Music Man.

[Asante]

This Week in Music. We just came off of Valentine's weekend, so there were a lot of musical offerings. One of the first songs that I'd like to discuss just because it wasn't musically related to Valentine specifically, but we hadn't really been seeing much of her, but she's been around all of last year. Tyla has reintroduced her single Push to Start. There's a remix now with Sean Paul.

[Fran]

Oh, yeah, I haven't heard it.

[Asante]

Yes. I want to introduce that to the people. Sean Paul. He still sounds like Sean Paul, which is dope. There are certain artists, you know, when you hear them, it's like, damn, I missed that sound. Sean Paul is one the of of them. You know, there's so many artists.

[Dustin]

Oh, lord, what he said? What did he say? Oh, lord. Hey, what did he. What did he say? She looks great on the COVID of British Vogue, too. Did y' all see that?

[Fran]

I did see. I love the pops of color.

[Asante]

Always looks good. I do enjoy Tyler's looks. I know there's always controversy around some of her looks and sometimes the body paint, whatnot. Not. But I'm enjoying Tyler. I'm enjoying seeing her often, and I'm enjoying this remix. I like the moves that she's making. She hasn't disappointed yet. And I have nothing but good things to say about this young lady. I know how people are always waiting for something bad to happen to people. She's not one of those girls, so just leave her alone. Let her do her thing. Enjoy the remix. I'm sure she has more musical offerings coming soon. She's a beautiful girl, so I'm sure she has more visuals coming soon. Speaking. Speaking of beautiful girls and visuals, we haven't heard a lot of music from Chloe and Halle because Chloe has been off, you know, running around with Burna boy, but Hallelujah.

[Fran]

Together. Oh, okay. I thought you meant, like.

[Asante]

Oh, no, Just, you know, individually or. Well, together too, actually, because they. Together, you know, shout out to Crystal at the read. She was talking about what a great album that they put out and how, you know, it really got her through Code Covid. It was a great moment, and I. I feel like that they do owe us a tour for that. But if we never get that and if we get it later on in life, Crystal said, if we get it later on in life, she would be going, I'm gonna be right there next to her. But as for right now, today, Halle herself has offered us a song back and forth. There's a visualizer that came out on Valentine's. She looks great. I like the song. I feel like everyone should go support the girls. That's why I've offered you two R B girls. They make completely different R B music music. But, you know, that's just what the seasons are right now. I feel like Halle, she's a strong independent artist or she's a strong artist outside of her artistry with her sister. And I liked her last song, and I like this song. So I'm just curious to see what the next project of hers is going to look like and what a rollout of that's going to be like. I'm. I'm enjoying Halle and her musical bag because, you know, we were watching her be an actress, which Was super amazing. You know, the Little Mermaid, Color Purple, musical movie. Like a great run. So let's see how this run goes musically. Great start. Last thing I'm going to mention the music. And then we're going to move on to songs to play. Listens lately, so you can prepare yourselves. We had a musical offering on Valentine's from Drake and Party Next Door. Wow.

[Fran]

I'm sorry. We were listening to it and when he was like to modern, I said, what. What the is happening? That went on right now.

[Dustin]

I was so glad we had just got finished. By the time that song came on, yo, I'd have been like, hold on, baby, we gotta. But I like, okay. Can say what they want. I love that Seeing Tower song.

[Asante]

I do too. I do too.

[Dustin]

I love Seeing Tower.

[Asante]

I do too. I absolutely enjoy it.

[Fran]

I absolutely like to Give me a hug.

[Asante]

Only give me a hug. Okay, so drinking party next drawer. Party next drawer. Party next door dropped some sexy songs for you.

[Fran]

Which, you know, which they were not.

[Asante]

I just had my own issues with the title. But I also enjoy the Drake Party Next Door link up. So in my mind I was like, I'll allow was where was party though? Next door Party was all throughout that.

[Fran]

No, he was. He wasn't in there.

[Dustin]

He was next door.

[Fran]

A Drake album, a couple of Party.

[Asante]

But you know what? The Party moment, I feel like were strong for me.

[Fran]

Fair.

[Asante]

Like. Like when Party was there, Party was like there. So granted, it did feel like Drake songs. And then it's like, oh, okay, party. Every time I said it, I said, okay, party.

[Fran]

And that's the problem because it's like a lab album.

[Dustin]

But I felt like.

[Asante]

But every time I heard Party, I was pleased. So you know what?

[Dustin]

The album was not right. Was. Was a Drake project that reintroduced him to his audience with a lot of hit songs. Okay. And I think that's what the expectation level was coming off of the Super Bowl. Coming off all this Kendrick Lamar embarrassment. And people are waiting on Drake to have his moment and. And bring us something serious, you know, that we can consider serious. Not a collab album. Not another. Not another we don't trust you or not. I'm sorry, that's future Metro boom. But not another. What's the album? Not another her loss. You know what I'm saying? We just want a real, actual Drake album full of radio friendly and all. Full of songs that ride the line between radio friendly hits and legitimate rap singles that we give a damn about.

[Asante]

Right.

[Dustin]

You know what I'm saying? That's what we Want. That's what Kendrick did with that GNX album. That's what we want from you. Because that's a. That's the antidote to everything that's going on right now. That's why people are panning this collab album with Party Next Door so broadly. Everybody is saying how trash it is. It's ass. Because people are disappointed. That's the takeaway. And until he does that, gets in the studio and makes a real brand new studio album, that and makes a real effort in the studio, people are going to continue to pan whatever. He put bullets out. That's why are disappointed.

[Asante]

So, yeah, he's super. He's super correct. Because for me, I knew Drake and Party had been teasing. They were supposed to drop some music. And so I guess for them they were like, it, let's do Valentine's Day. And it's like, no, wouldn't know what the you got to say about the Kendrick. And that's why a lot of people tuned in and they were like waiting for that song or that moment for him to really talk some or do all that. But it's like this wasn't their project for him to do anything of that. So it's like he still is drinking. He starts to rap, even though he's singing for most of it. So he was taking shots here and there. Other people about other. But he knows that he still has to do or maybe it's not going to do, you know, some big diss to Kendrick. So it's like it wasn't placed here. So it's like, if it's gonna happen, it's gonna happen outside of that. Or it's like he's gonna decide, all right, I gotta keep, you know, you know, I gotta stay in the studio and keep dropping other type of. Or doing what the I'm doing to let that go or whatever he decides his next move move is. But yeah, because I knew that it wasn't going to be that or I wasn't looking for that. I was stable to enjoy the music and I just again, I enjoy the Drake Party Next Door aesthetic. Like every song they did together, like on the. On the albums. And like those are like since way back, like, they're like little moments that they've had together that I was like, oh, I really with them. So that. That's why I can really listen to some of the song, the songs and like really get into the moments and the vibes. So, like seeing Tower when it starts off the first time now, the first time I was Listening, Listening. The album was kind of listening to me. And then there were certain songs I was like, okay, yeah, like, this is hot. Like, give me a phone, give me a hug. I like Nokia. I like. Like, there were just certain songs I was really with.

[Fran]

Okay.

[Asante]

I with it. But then I went back, and then I was like, all right, CN Tower. I actually really with. And. And I was in New York, and I was thinking about how people feel about Empire and, like, that. I was like, all right, this is some cool ass. Anything about the city? The Empire State Building.

[Dustin]

Oh, Empire.

[Asante]

Oh, sorry. Yeah, yeah.

[Dustin]

Okay.

[Asante]

So I was just thinking about, like, how people feel about that in the city. And, like, you know, the city is dead. Just like a flower. Like, you know, New York be dead. New York was actually dead because of the cold, which it was interesting for me to see. So, like, hearing that, listening to that while I was smoking, because I was actually smoking outside of my hotel, I was being respectful at the first one. So it was really cool to, like, really vibe with the music and, like, listen to it as opposed to playing it. Try to vibe to him, but I can't connect to it. So it's like I was locking in and I was, like, really getting into the moments. Like mothballs and the switch up. The other. Every song where there's a switch up. But again, party next Door. Just the way he comes in on tracks, like, on the song, he's like, your baby daddy's on his face. I'm like, wait, hold up. Like, it's just like, those moments.

[Fran]

Should he be saying, though?

[Dustin]

Sometimes be kind of dicey, don't it?

[Asante]

It do.

[Dustin]

Okay.

[Fran]

Who is.

[Dustin]

You say who?

[Asante]

Yeah.

[Fran]

Like, what the Are you even talking about? I say that a lot when I'm listening. I'm sorry.

[Asante]

Yep. Yeah, you know what? Well, I don't want to say that. I don't want to admit that or tell nobody. So, yes, I enjoyed the project. That's it for that portion of this segment.

[Dustin]

Welcome to the Friends.

[Fran]

Every time I'm in. The.

[Dustin]

Dedication isn't born in the light of day. It's carved in the quiet hours before the world blinks awake. At Boar's Head, we rise with a mission to deliver craftsmanship worthy of your table. A slice of something special folded into every moment worth savoring. Because dedication means delivering only the very best.

[Fran]

Thank you.

[Dustin]

Welcome, Boar's Head. Committed to craft since 1905.

[Asante]

Now we can get to listens. Lately, Friend, I would like to know what songs you've been listening to lately. What songs You've been playing for the people?

[Fran]

Not in my car. Sure. Let's see. I do have some music. What do I want to play actually? Okay. So have y' all heard of Nicole Buss? She's really dope artist. Was she on Roc Nation? I believe.

[Dustin]

I'm not sure, but I've heard of Nicole Bus.

[Fran]

Yeah. It's funny because people actually used to ask me if mirror were related. That's a lot of how I got put on to her. She's a really dope artist and she.

[Asante]

Has, you know what I've seen. Oh, you've seen her song?

[Fran]

Yeah, yeah, she has a lot of pretty music. But she has this song that came up on my shuffle the other day and I was like, damn, that is a pretty song that I have never heard before. And I saved it so that I can play it on the show. So Nicole Bus Rain.

[Asante]

Oh, yeah. It's the one when she in the diner.

[Dustin]

It's about Toya, right? Daughter.

[Asante]

I have heard of her and I have heard this song. What's on your mind?

[Fran]

Moving on ain't always easy when the rain was coming down Coming down.

[Asante]

It.

[Fran]

Kind of ties into the sweet top button. When the rain comes tumbling down Beat that ass.

[Dustin]

Cause she hit my car.

[Fran]

And then I told you I've been watching Yellowstone. So a lot of country music now that has made its way into my Shazam.

[Asante]

You and your cowboy Carter.

[Fran]

I really am. And Chris Stapleton, who I'm familiar with because he's adorable. Dope ass country artist.

[Dustin]

And he be singing with the black people.

[Asante]

People.

[Fran]

No, he's different. He different. He had a song that came up called without your love that I was like, let me find out. I'm play country music on this week's episode of Front Phone. And this is how it goes. Sam.

[Dustin]

Yesterday just came and went.

[Asante]

Okay.

[Fran]

And today t me another hand Heartaches that I play what we said and what we meant Two different things Just.

[Dustin]

Some words and rings and times Time.

[Fran]

Keeps raising the stakes.

[Asante]

What?

[Dustin]

Cause this sound like it was some on yellow stuff.

[Asante]

Yep, I know, I know. That scene was the too. So now I can't wait till I hear When I see it. I don't be like, oh.

[Dustin]

This was a dope ass shot.

[Fran]

He's dope, right?

[Asante]

Hell yeah.

[Fran]

He got me listening to him.

[Asante]

I like that with that.

[Fran]

Right? And then I have to shout out some North Carolina love. Danielle Farrar dropped a record called the shepherd that I love and I have been blasting. And that's how it goes.

[Dustin]

Even a Broke clock right twice a day? Broke ass always got a lot to say, Used to do it free but nowadays we getting paper? Independent ballet like I'm on on the major, even the broke clock right twice a day. Overcoming every obstacle in my way? Gratitude shown for them blessings God gave us. Gotta thank mama? Cause our sacrifices made us the coop? Roof disappearing in the whip? I'm sitting in foreign engineering Staring Russian gun to immigrant Q. Said mouth the lot could have bought the beans, hell could have bought a crib? Only got one life to live, I just wanna ball and chill, Never stress about a beer. I know this was meant for me, this what I was sent to be. Family started to treat me different when.

[Asante]

They seen me on tv Spoke at.

[Dustin]

Browns College and I ain't even have my GED Told me if I trust him then release and let him guide my feet. Gave me everything that I was promised plus a pocket sheet set me down in isolation? Cause he knew that I would be the one that used my voice to speak? Teach the ones that I can reach. I don't waste time line cause it.

[Asante]

Ain'T cheap, gotta pay the fee?

[Dustin]

You don't work and you don't eat Unless you gonna become a leech? All them nights I was starving, Turn me to a beast, choose to hate. They got the same 24 as me twice a day. Broke ass always got a lot to say.

[Fran]

Though.

[Dustin]

Yeah.

[Fran]

So that's it for me. Those are my three this week.

[Asante]

All right, what you got for the people?

[Fran]

People?

[Dustin]

Word up. Okay, so the first song I want to play is off of Life is Beautiful, which is a new album with. By, excuse me, Larry June and Two Chains that's produced.

[Fran]

Oh, my God, that project.

[Dustin]

It's incredible.

[Fran]

So good. And the visuals. Have y' all seen.

[Dustin]

I mean, like, breathtaking. Did you see their performance on Fallon when they had that yacht set up? It's incredible. Oh, this song is called Colossal. This is one of my favorite songs on the project.

[Asante]

They asked me what a roof I ain't seen. Yesterday when I woke up I ate lime Said she wanna drink my keys.

[Fran]

I love this project, y'.

[Asante]

All.

[Fran]

If I was a rapper, I feel like this would be what my vibe would be, right?

[Asante]

2 Chainz always got some fire ass sounds, and Luke always, too.

[Fran]

And I think 2 Chainz on top of, like, alchemist beats is just two different worlds, and it just sounds so good together. And Larry Jr. Is just cool as. He's so cool. I want his closet, too. He dresses so cute.

[Dustin]

Absolutely. There's another song by Alanis Morissette. That I think it's called. Are you still that. That I would be good. This is the name of it. We're going old school, y'. All. This is off a supposed former Infatuation junkie. This song is called that I would be good by Alanis Morissette.

[Asante]

That I would be good.

[Fran]

Even if I did nothing.

[Asante]

That I would be good. Hell, yeah, I love her.

[Dustin]

That I would be good.

[Fran]

If I got and stayed sick.

[Dustin]

It's a slow burn, but it's the. So that's that song. And then the last song I'm gonna play this week, Europe, it's by Dolomite. This is called Hustlers.

[Asante]

Oh.

[Fran]

Flat twist. Okay, I like. I like that. When we need it, Lord, we need it.

[Asante]

All right, just a few quick selections. The first song I'm going to play because Fran says she loved the project so much, is called Nokia. It's awesome. Sexy songs for you. And this is Drake. Here we go.

[Fran]

This record is so weird. He's obviously thinking of the club. The strip club, right? This is. What's that show with the strippers? P. Valley.

[Dustin]

The way I feel right now, I feel like we need to be all alone.

[Asante]

So if you just playing around, you.

[Dustin]

Need to tell your girl, take a five home and that's real. Stop teasing me, stop teasing me I could change your life so easily. I keep begging you to stay but you're leaving me, leaving me. We got sticks in the club illegally.

[Asante]

Got that whole six side. They believe in me.

[Dustin]

We got members east of the DVP we got members west on the 401 we had a lock on the game but there's more to to come.

[Asante]

You gotta pop that to the morning come. You want shots for the girls?

[Dustin]

Damn.

[Asante]

Order some.

[Dustin]

Who's calling it?

[Asante]

Who's calling it? Who's calling it? Who's calling it? All right, enough of that. I like that record a lot.

[Fran]

P Valley. I can see it on P. Valley.

[Dustin]

I like it, too.

[Asante]

Did you listen to the whole track for friend?

[Fran]

The whole album?

[Asante]

The track. I don't mean to call you no ho.

[Dustin]

I just heard about the things that.

[Asante]

You do, my love and you just.

[Dustin]

Like me if it's true, my love, hey.

[Asante]

And you just like me if it's true.

[Fran]

My, how many hoes in this club?

[Asante]

Is it just me and you, my little love?

[Fran]

How many hoes I just heard about.

[Dustin]

The things that you do, my love. Hey. Relatable content.

[Asante]

I like the album.

[Dustin]

I. You know, I'm sorry. The album. I ain't Even gonna hold you. But I'm a Drake fan so like.

[Fran]

Right. And that's. Yeah, that matters if you.

[Asante]

If you appreciate all the different layers and you understand and you with with it. There was some hard hitters on this project. Next song I'm going to play is by the group Infinity Song. The quartet. Have you seen this black quartet of indiv.

[Fran]

Wait, are they siblings?

[Asante]

I think they are siblings. I feel like this was like somebody had recently played me one of their songs. I was like, oh, that's interesting. And I think it was probably a tik tok thing that I missed out on and I just didn't do the research. I watched one of their videos because it came out off my YouTube and I was like, oh, okay. Because I I with the music. So I like it. This song is called Sinking Boat and this is how it goes.

[Dustin]

I thought that was a different world theme.

[Fran]

So wait, Asante. Are they black and there's like four of them and they're siblings. I think I know who they are. They sound good.

[Dustin]

Hell yeah. Me.

[Fran]

Why should I worry about rocking a sinking boat? It's our guards of flames and we're dancing in the cloud of smoke Safety in our riches the glory of the.

[Asante]

Council Call us a shadow over the.

[Fran]

Yes, beautiful. I do know who they are. Twitter put me on.

[Asante]

Yeah, they smoke weed clips. They came up. They came up somewhere on social media. So someone had sent me a tweet or something and I guess the algorithm picked it up because it was on YouTube and the visual, it was cool watching them and like some of them were playing instruments. I know they were like miming in the video. But it'd be dope if they were all playing the instruments and singing and doing all the arrangements.

[Fran]

I think they do.

[Asante]

So yeah.

[Fran]

Yeah.

[Asante]

So cool. So dope for them. I just had them research somebody was.

[Dustin]

On that strumming they pain with their fingers. Yeah, I definitely heard some strings.

[Fran]

Yeah, no, they definitely. You could tell they had that. That household where parents make sure they was learning things. No learning their instruments.

[Dustin]

I don't want to Joseph one of them homes. Get in line or else no porridge. Go to bed. Get up.

[Fran]

Everything's a command musical household.

[Dustin]

Hell yeah. Cracking that whip on that ass. That's some kids that got ass whip. That's why they was able to find the angel baby. Whatever they was saying, that's why.

[Asante]

Last song and then we can get out of here. Because I with scissors so much. I've been listening to the SOS Deluxe over and over and over again. I just. I really with that diamond boy song really hard. Which makes me listen to the whole thing all over again because then I let it. Let it off play. But the song that I'm with really heavy right now again is my turn. And I just want to play that song because I just with scissors so much so shout out to you girl all this because, you know, people put all that put out a lot of music. It's like, why do they just keep putting out this music but you keep.

[Dustin]

Putting out music scissor you don't you continue to put out. That's a command.

[Asante]

You have me. I. I appreciate it. So don't stop. Don't stop.

[Dustin]

Stop.

[Asante]

Because there are other songs that I'm listening to too. I'm or two. Two. There are other moments I'm enjoying but I just want to share my turn and here's how it goes.

[Fran]

I don't care about what you seen me you and I you pretend to be I regret giving my last man I should have let you crash out. Can't believe you blaming me. Have y' all heard that Asian girl that sings that pooky song? I like that song.

[Dustin]

Yeah.

[Fran]

I wanted to play it so bad, but I know she. But she's still in him from scissors. I was in my car lane. I never heard this.

[Dustin]

I could listen to her and Miguel.

[Asante]

Sing all day long.

[Fran]

Did you see he's at. He's gonna be at Ruth's picnic. Yeah.

[Asante]

So yes. That is my turn by SZA the deluxe has so many offerings that just keep continuing to give and that was one of them that I decided to share and give to the people today. That is it, surprisingly, for this week's episode of the friend zone podcast.

[Dustin]

Hallelujah.

[Asante]

Amen.

[Dustin]

Amen.

[Asante]

I hope you all enjoyed this week week's episode. Friend love and prayers to you and thank you for your strength for showing up today. And we hope all of you out there, thank you. Thank you and same to you, Dustin.

[Fran]

Long day and sh.

[Asante]

Thank you. Thank you. But shout out to you, Dustin, for your announcement today. We are so excited for you.

[Fran]

God is good.

[Asante]

Yes. We. We got to continue to look on the bright side. We've got beautiful things coming up on the horizon. So, Dustin, you're leading the charge. You're starting us off and we're going to start you off strong and right. With that being said, that's it for this week's episode. We love you so much. Sorry to steal your good. Your ex and lion friends stay black and protect your magic See you guys next week.

[Fran]

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