The Friend Zone Podcast
Episode: Her Neck, Her Back, Her Van
Date: February 5, 2025
Hosts: Dustin Ross, Hey Fran Hey, & Assanté
Episode Overview
In this lively installment of The Friend Zone, the trio dives deep into the theme of technology—how it’s evolving, where it helps, where it hinders, and how it's shaping our everyday lives. The episode is a blend of laughter, sharp observations, musical recommendations, and timely commentary on community, wellness, and pop culture. Notable moments include a hilarious take on generational pettiness in sports, a thoughtful wellness discussion about sustainable living, and a spirited debate over the impact and future of tech, robots, and AI. As always, the hosts uplift their community and each other, embrace their roots, and keep it authentically Black.
Key Discussion Points & Segments
1. Opening & The Petty Intro (01:00–08:33)
- New intro featuring Tom Petty’s "I Won’t Back Down," setting up a weekly discussion of “pettiness.”
- Dustin recounts the fierce rivalry in women's boxing between Clarissa Shields and Layla Ali, but the real petty moment is grandmotherly: Muhammad Ali’s ex-wife Khalilah Ali roots for Clarissa Shields to "whip Layla’s ass" as payback for losing her husband—“Sins of the father!” (06:01)
- Quote: "Because Layla’s mama's with my—my husband... Payback time." – Khalilah Ali (07:10)
2. Viral Drama: The Karachi “Hostage” & When Petty Goes Global (08:33–14:04)
- The crew breaks down the viral story of a New Yorker stuck in Karachi, Pakistan, drama over a much younger lover, and her outrageous demands for cash and land from the government.
- They riff on her viral video performance (“It’s against my religion to tell y’all my business!”), AI parodies, and cross-cultural comedic relief.
- Fran: "She definitely won the Internet." (12:06)
- Assanté: “She’s so Brooklyn, it’s private. I’m Muslim—and it’s against my religion to tell you my business.”
3. Wellness Check-in & Announcements (14:05–23:45)
- Dustin announces he’s hosting a Valentine’s event with Impulse Group DC (Feb. 12 at Busboys and Poets).
- Hosts share their weekend updates: everyone’s battling cold symptoms, the roller-coaster of winter wellness, and Fran reflects on supporting her body with holistic remedies and managing recent food recalls.
4. Community Spotlight: Indigenous-Owned Jewelry—Atomic Gold (20:20–26:21)
- Fran spotlights Atomic Gold, a queer, indigenous-owned fine jewelry brand that focuses on direct-to-consumer sales, ethical practices, and comfort-tested pieces.
- Discussion of how good gold can even help heal problematic piercings.
- Fran: “Something about this gold is just different… the jewelry is so good, it’s beautiful, it’s also very healing.”
5. Listener Commentary & Recap Section (26:22–34:50)
- Recap of last week’s episode, listener gems:
- Circumcision rituals and biblical meaning
- Pronunciation corrections (K1) and discovering new music via comments
- The relaxation-vs-apathy debate: making time to reset but not letting go of activism and vigilance
6. Twitter Streets & Black Entertainment Wins (35:00–38:43)
- Litigation success for the OMG Girls/Tiny Harris vs. toy company MGA—over $73M awarded for the exploitation of their likeness.
- Celebration of sustained Black wealth and perseverance in the entertainment industry.
7. Main Hot Button Topic: Our Evolving Relationship with Technology (44:43–91:08)
Technology Debate (44:43–54:36)
- Assanté launches a discussion on why society resists or criticizes new technology, especially around robotics and AI. Dustin is especially skeptical about robots replacing vital human judgment.
- Dustin: “Some things need human judgment… every process does not need to be automated by a goddamn robot.”
- Fran: “I don’t mind robots—I take issue with the people behind the robots and why they’re programming them the way they are.”
The Problem With Modern “Tech Help” (49:09–53:00)
- Frustration with customer service robots/outsourcing and loss of the personal touch. The burden of convoluted phone trees and AI in place of store representatives.
- Fran: “Stop talking about my feelings, I’m not here for that—I just want my eggs!”
Accessibility & Tech Alienation (53:01–61:15)
- New building security, key fob nightmares, and how older generations get left behind.
- Assanté: “You don’t want to alienate people as things grow and change.”
Technology as Convenience vs. Vulnerability (61:16–76:12)
- Keyless entry and car theft (USB hacking), the risk of seamlessness in public spaces, and when automation goes wrong.
- Flying cars at tech expos trigger laughter and skepticism.
- Fran: “We barely drive well—imagine people flying now!”
Tech for Good: Drones on Mount Everest (76:01–79:01)
- Drones planned to help remove accumulated trash (and even deal with the macabre reality of frozen bodies) from Everest—a rare win for “robots as supplement.”
Robot Vacuums, Smart Homes, & Reluctant Tech Adoption (79:02–89:43)
- Wariness over smart home devices collecting data and laggy robot vacuums with arms.
- Fran: “You're mapping out the inside of your house… just get a dang mop.”
- Dustin: “When they start picking up y’all kids… then y’all tell me!”
The Right Balance: Technology as a Supplement (88:00–91:08)
- The group agrees: Tech should supplement, not replace, human labor and connection—especially for accessibility, but not at the cost of agency, privacy, or simplicity.
8. This Week in Wellness: Local Food Security & Off-Grid Living (102:22–129:25)
- Fran highlights Off Grid Homestead Fam (Zani), a Black woman living off-grid in New Mexico with her family.
- Building a solar well, growing their own food, minimal annual taxes, an hour+ from "civilization."
- Tips: Build local supply chains and relationships with Black farmers using blackfarmersindex.com and Farm Fresh 24/7 app.
- Fran: “You have to build relationships with the people who have what you need—form a local supply chain.”
- Discussion of what each host could/would offer in a local barter economy, and how American convenience norms make this dream daunting, but appealing.
- The group debates whether they could thrive off-the-grid (RV life, anyone?), referencing the episode’s namesake, “Her neck, her back, her van” (Kaia’s van lifestyle).
9. Music Segment: Grammy Reactions & Listen Lately Playlist (142:29–186:06)
Grammy Recap:
- Major congratulations to Beyoncé (Cowboy Carter win in Country Album) and Kendrick Lamar for key category sweeps.
- Dustin: “I’m very happy that Beyoncé won album of the year… people can debate what albums deserved it more—she has it now. That’s what matters.”
- Critiques of the Grammys for omitting the mention of incarcerated firefighters in LA emergency responses.
- Praise for standout performances: Ray, Benson Boone, Lady Gaga, Chapel Roan, Doechii, and Sabrina Carpenter.
- Fran (on Ray): “I didn’t know she could sing like that. Singing, like, singing.”
- Assanté (on Doechii): “Doechii just continues to come out hotter and hotter and hotter—this is a real superstar.”
Listen Lately Picks & Notable Quotes
- Benson Boone – “Beautiful Things” (168:01): “It is annoying, but it’s a good annoying.” – Fran
- Ray – “Oscar Winning Tears” (171:47): “Singing, like singing. I’m just happy to hear that again.” – Fran
- Sir Charles Jones ft. Poke Bear – “Wherever I Lay My Bone” (173:41): “You can see Dustin on the 2 train jammin’, okay.” – Fran
- Jamie xx ft. Young Thug & Popcaan – “I Know There’s Gonna Be (Good Times)” (175:25): “This song just makes me feel better as times are hard.” – Dustin
- Sabrina Carpenter – "Please Please Please" (176:43)
- JoJo – "Start Over" (179:43)
- Peaches – "The Pain Away" (185:01)
10. TV Land: Reality TV Roundup (187:24–195:54)
- Real Housewives of Potomac Finale: “One time for the gays saving the day!” – Dustin
- Upcoming Real Housewives of Atlanta: Luxury is back, new cast members bring the drama; anticipation for the season is high.
- Married to Medicine: A raucous, unforgettable couples’ trip episode—explicitly recommended.
- Reminder: The hosts are also binge-watching and hosting a Patreon discussion of "Cross" on Prime starring Aldis Hodge.
Notable Quotes & Moments
- Khalilah Ali Petty: “Because Layla's mama's with my—my husband… Payback time.” (07:10)
- Robots Anxiety: “Every process does not need to be automated by a goddamn robot.” – Dustin (47:12)
- On Modern Convenience: “Stop talking about my feelings, I’m not here for that—I just want my eggs!” – Fran (51:12)
- Technology as Supplement: “That’s the key word—supplement—not to replace.” – Assanté (76:50)
- On Off-Grid Living: “What would be my contribution to the community that they can come get from me?” – Fran (114:06)
- On Beyoncé’s Win: “They kept telling her no and she has it now. That’s what we wanted.” – Dustin (150:11)
Timestamps for Major Segments
- Intro & Petty Theme: 01:00
- Khalilah Ali’s Viral Quote: 07:10
- Karachi Viral Story: 08:33–14:04
- Wellness Check-in & Announcements: 14:05–23:45
- Business Highlight: Atomic Gold: 20:20
- Listener Commentaries: 26:22
- Black Entertainment Legal Wins: 35:00
- Tech Debate: 44:43
- Flying Cars at CES: 71:34
- Drone Tech for Everest: 76:01
- Roomba With Arms: 83:52
- Tech as Supplement: 88:00–91:08
- Off-Grid Living & Black Farming: 102:22–129:25
- Grammy/Music Reactions: 142:29–161:40
- Music Playlist: 168:01–186:06
- TV Land Reality Rundown: 187:24–195:54
Tone & Language
The hosts’ tone is authentic, witty, and rooted in the lived Black experience—unapologetically real, laced with humor, side-eye, and community wisdom. Each host brings their unique flavor: Dustin’s comedic edge and pop culture expertise, Fran’s wellness-minded care and resourcefulness, and Assanté’s inquisitive, sometimes conspiratorial slant.
For New Listeners
This episode delivers a seamless blend of personal anecdotes, social commentary, community wellness, music, and reality TV. It’s an engaging audio ride through everyday Black life in America—where community care, pop culture, and pressing social themes connect and collide.
#TheFriendZone #PodcastSummary