Transcript

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Dustin Ross (1:03)

Welcome to the friends.

Asante (1:06)

My name is Dustin.

Francesca (1:07)

I'm Francesca, also known as. Hey, friend.

Asante (1:09)

Hey. My name is Asante. This is the friend zone.

Francesca (1:19)

I don't know how many times I.

Jade (1:20)

Got say that, say that.

Asante (1:24)

Succinct.

Dustin Ross (1:24)

That's right. Because when you're tired of some shit, you know what I'm saying, you've been saying the same shit over and over and over to the same, over and over and over. You get tired and you feel like Porsche, you know what I'm saying? That's how you feel. And this week we talking to somebody who has literally refused to stop talking. Okay? That is none other than Tamar Braxton. That's right. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Tamar Braxton, we know. Sister, baby sister of legend, living legend, Toni Braxton, okay? Who won the best Grammy. You can win the best new artist Grammy, you know what I'm saying? And she refutes that horrible notion that you, you know, go into obscure obscurity after winning that award anyway. It's not about Tony. Well, it is about Tony, but it's not. Because what Tamar don't realize is that she's created an environment around her name and contribution women where when she does anything, you automatically think of her as Toni Braxton's little sister instead of her being Tamar Braxton, vocal powerhouse, huge personality. You know what I'm seeing you saying? Great host. You don't think about those things. You think about Tamar talking too goddamn much like she's doing now. So yesterday she celebrated her 48th birthday. Okay, wow.

Summary

The Friend Zone Podcast

Episode: "Stacked Like Jenga" feat. Jade & XD

Date: March 19, 2025
Hosts: Dustin Ross, Hey Fran Hey (Francesca), Asante
Guests: Jade & XD (Jade & XD Podcast)

Episode Overview

This episode is an honest, hilarious, and heartfelt exploration of "adulting"—the often overwhelming, unexpected, and under-discussed responsibilities and challenges that come with growing up. The hosts are joined by Jade and XD, frequent collaborators and the dynamic duo behind the Jade & XD podcast, for a wide-ranging conversation that pivots from hilarious personal anecdotes to the real grief, confusion, and indignities of adult life. The central throughline: no matter how old we get, life keeps stacking on new challenges—just like Jenga.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Birthdays, Stand-Up, and Milestones

Timestamps: 01:03 – 19:19

The crew celebrates birthday milestones for Asante and Tamar Braxton (with hilarious commentary).
- “Tamar, we are tired. You 48 years old, dog. 48. … Stop yelling.” – Dustin Ross (05:18)
Dustin shares the triumph of his first stand-up show at City Winery NYC, supported by friends, family, and listeners.
- “It felt so good. I was surrounded by love…. I felt so alive on stage.” – Dustin (10:06)
Friends reminisce about the unique energy of NYC and the importance of showing up for one another’s new ventures.

2. The Adulting Rollercoaster: From Insurance Nightmares to End-of-Life Decisions

Timestamps: 55:13 – 87:29

Introductions & Theme

Jade and XD introduce themselves in their signature, irreverent style.
- “I’m Señora Problematica Favorita.” – Jade (55:59)
- “I'm the Chuck D of homosexuality. Homo without a paw.” – XD (56:05)
Fran frames the episode’s theme: exploring why adulting is so overwhelming and the often-hidden layers of responsibility no one prepares you for.

Real-Life Adulting Scenarios

Fran recounts her recent car insurance ordeal after being hit by a drunk driver, sharing the frustration of haggling with reps who withhold important information.
- “Why do I have to deal with this?... Who is the adult that’s gonna come and do this the right way?” – Fran (58:33)
XD shares the emotional and practical challenges of helping his mother care for his terminally ill uncle, who has chosen end-of-life options.
- “My mother has to go to CVS and pick up this medication and he has to take it himself… you never know what questions to truly ask until you’re presented in this scenario.” – XD (63:44)
- Discussion delves into emotional purgatory for caretakers, especially when end-of-life choices diverge within families.
The group reflects on the experience of being “cosplaying as adults,” voicing anxieties about being the ones responsible for major life decisions.

Planning, Grief, and Unpreparedness

Many have been thrust into handling estate, legal, and funeral arrangements for loved ones, with little warning or experience.
- “You’re learning on the job.” – Asante (71:37)
- “I don’t even know what the steps are when someone passes.” – Fran (70:28)
Guest stories range from writing obituaries for relatives (Jade), feeling unequipped to manage family estates (Asante), and being forced to give “grace” to relatives at funerals despite old wounds (Dustin).
Hilarious but sobering sidebars about the sticker shock of funerals and cremations:
- “Cremation... This is $2,000? My mother was disgusted.” – XD (80:05)
Jade recounts the chaos of dealing with car insurance after a hit-and-run, only to have the adjuster use a dubious device and deny the claim.

3. The Hidden “Gotchas” of Adulthood

Timestamps: 94:19 – 112:48

IRS and Tax Dread

The group shares their universal dread at receiving IRS letters and lament the lack of education around taxes.
- “No one has ever prepared me for the onslaught of fear... the IRS puts on you as anybody.” – XD (95:27)
- “With taxes, they could tell me anything. And I just go with that.” – Fran (97:12)
Tales of surprise tax bills from unexpected county or state requirements, with delayed notification, underscore how easy it is to be caught off-guard (“systems have been backed up,” as the tax office helpfully says).
Everyone agrees the only real “pro tip” is do not let someone’s cousin Earl prepare your taxes for a sketchy refund.

Health and Insurance Woes

As self-employed creators, all bemoan the challenges of getting health insurance and the “mindf—” of paying for protection services that fail you when you need them most.
- “You pay these insurances to be a good adult... and then they try to lowball you.” – Fran (105:34)
- Jade’s story of her car being hit—while she attended a Zoom funeral!—spirals into commentary on bureaucracy, accountability, and neighborhood-based rate discrimination in insurance.

Emergency Preparation & Climate Anxiety

Jade describes creating a “go box” after someone tried to set her building on fire, prompting discussions about emergency preparedness, from family photos to solar generators.
XD and Jade explain the constant awareness needed while living in disaster-prone areas (“every Sunday for the last three weeks, we’ve had an earthquake.” – XD, 112:57)

4. The Heart, Humor, and Hope of Community

Timestamps: 116:48 – End

The group reminds listeners that no amount of preparation can circumvent all surprises, and adulthood will require improvisation, resilience, and community.
- “These are some of the things they do not…I don’t think they talk to us about because they didn’t know either.” – Jade (89:28)
They encourage vulnerability and reaching out for help, arguing that life is easier with support and shared wisdom.
- “What I will say is try not to think that you have to go through this by yourself in order to get it done and be over it.” – Fran (120:59)
The final advice, especially for younger listeners: stay open to building authentic connections, be honest about what you don’t know, and don’t be afraid to lean on others as you learn.
The show ends with warmth, laughter, and a call for listeners to share their own experiences with adulting and overcoming unexpected hurdles.

Memorable Moments & Notable Quotes

On Adulting Nerves:
“I feel like a 10-year-old that’s cosplay every time where I’m like, who is the adult that’s gonna come and do this the right way?... But girl, you’re, like, about to be 43 next month.” – Fran (59:44)
On End-of-Life Choices:
“My uncle…has voluntarily decided to end his life... I had never knew of [this process]. That’s real grown.” – XD (63:00)
On Funerals and Family:
“I could have tore a lot of up at that funeral… but instead I was nice and graceful because of the occasion.” – Dustin (74:07)
On Being Unprepared:
“You’re learning on the job. They actually, in my case, make it to where it is kind of a job in itself.” – Asante (71:39)
On Grief and Bureaucracy:
“You have to be grieving while also making life-altering decisions, while also researching these decisions, because you don’t even know what the answer is for these decisions.” – Fran (65:50)
On The IRS:
“No one has ever prepared me for the onslaught of fear and psychological warfare that the Internal Revenue Service puts on you as a anybody.” – XD (95:27)
On Insurance Realities:
“I’m one of those sticklers. I do not want to be behind…. Call me if this is a payment amount.... my taxes are already paid.” – Fran (101:14)
On Parenting and Planning:
“No one paints a clearer picture of your mortality than your child.” – Jade (82:19)
On Community:
“Life is actually a lot easier if you have community to help you move through these parts that are confusing, that are painful, that you need answers to.” – Fran (120:59)

Segment Timestamps

Intros/Birthdays/Stand-Up: 01:03–19:19
Listener Feedback & Black Business Highlight (Sista Seeds): 31:27–38:05
Main Topic – Adulting, Death, and Responsibility (ft. Jade & XD): 55:13–123:24
Heartfelt Close and Advice for Listeners: 116:48–End

Tone & Style

Language: Candid, relatable, and at times explicit—full of the laughter, shade, and love that defines both The Friend Zone and Jade & XD.
Atmosphere: Open, vulnerable, frequently hilarious, but always earnest in seeking and sharing wisdom.

For New Listeners

If you’ve not heard this episode, expect a wild ride: you’ll laugh, maybe shed a tear, and almost certainly nod along as grown folks reveal the mess behind the curtain of adulthood. Take comfort: everyone’s building their own wobbly Jenga tower, and there’s no manual—but there is community to help catch the pieces when things fall.

Call to Action

The hosts invite listener stories: “What are some things you’ve faced as an adult—unique or just unexpectedly tough? How did you handle it, and what do you wish you’d known before?”

Share your thoughts and join the ever-growing, ever-learning Friend Zone family.

Stay Black and protect your magic!

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Stacked Like Jenga - Featuring Jade & XD