Fran (94:54)
Yeah, she passed away. And now that was. Is devastating. Like I said, she was probably one of the kindest people I've ever met in my life. And one. And, you know, I'm thankful that I had, like, skipped out on that flight and had the intuition to go and see her and spend that day with her and just really holding her family in all the ways that they've needed to be held these past couple of weeks. Thank you to also, a lot of you have left comments about how kind the family has been while you have engaged with them, either from ordering their products or just telling them, oh, Fran sent me. You know, I came here from the friend zone, and how they would send you guys little, little notes in your packages. And that, to me was always very her, or as the kid would say, very Diane coated. Because she would always send me little care packages because they had their farm. And she would send me herbs and, you know, all kinds of amazing things that she felt I should put into my diet or to take care of my skin or my teeth and my hair. Same with my partner. She would send him things. And she always send us little notes, handwritten notes. Like, literally handwritten notes with little smiley faces, little hearts. And she was just an angel. And that is such a. It's hard to know that you're just, like, never going to get one of those notes, never going to talk to that person. And the part that I wanted to bring up, too, was the fact that I kind of panicked a little because I was like, oh, my God. Remember, I've been talking about the fact that I have been trying to be a better friend, a better person with the people I love and how I show up and respond to their texts and show up to their birthdays and I'm there for them and let them know I love them. So I panicked because I was like, let me look at our texts, you know, let me make sure that I didn't miss something. And of course, I was beating myself up because she had just sent me a video of, like, a little. Like a cat, the. But the feline one, the big ones, the ones that hang out when you go hiking. But y' all know that she sent me one that had just crossed their lawn, and she sent me the video saying, look at this little thing that popped in, and it was like eating a rabbit, like. And I didn't respond, you know, and that was the Last text that she sent. And it just kind of. I had to not beat myself up about that because I did see also that before that I had seen. Sent her a text saying, I love you. I'm always thinking of you. I hope you know how much you mean to me. I miss you. I have to figure out a way for us to spend more time together. And so she knew how I felt about her. But it's so hard not to beat yourself up when you see that the person had thought of you, reached out and you didn't get back to them in time. And I was in and I was sharing that with a couple of friends. And it's so interesting because a lot of us are actually going through similar experiences right now where, you know, and I'm not going to put anyone's business out there, but friends that lost someone recently, and when they went to look, they also had not returned their calls or had not responded to their final text or had not shown up to something, you know, that was for this person, like, just different experiences that we're all trying so hard not to beat ourselves up about. But it's hard not to, you know, even with us reading right now on not only that, with us reading the Matriarch for Patreon, ironically, the po. The chapters we were reading this weekend for this week's episode, she was saying she being Tina Knowles, which is the. The memoir that we're currently reading for the page Patreon, she was saying that the same thing happened to her with her dad where, like, she left him in the hospital to go to a friend's wedding, and he died by himself in the hospital. And she carried that guilt of, like, damn, you know what I'm saying? I wasn't with him, and he had told her, like, I don't know. I feel like the doctors are saying I'm gonna die. You know, a lot of things that she told him, don't worry about it. You'll be fine. I'll be back on Sunday. Morning. Morning. And he literally died that Sunday. And she didn't make it back in time. And, you know, just she mentioned how that was a scar that she carries still. And I think the hard part is, like, we try to be so many things for so many people, and it's you. You don't know if you're always going to get it right. And it's hard because, like I said, I've been trying to not be that friend that takes forever to respond to you because nothing is ever that important as far as Whatever you got going on in your day that you can't just, like, respond to your friend's text in a timely fashion. You know what I mean? And I know a lot of us are like, oh, we're not meant to. The biggest conversation around that I see is, oh, we're not meant to be accessible like that. You know, the way that our phones and social media and all these things have been made us accessible, where we're like, always on, always expected to respond, always expected to be reached and have something to say back. And I get that to a certain extent, but I think when you really care about people and they mean something to you, I think we. And I speak for myself, but like I said, I feel like this is a collective issue that I do see people talking about online and in my personal life just trying to be better about. About that, because then you end up in a situation like this where you didn't get to send that last message. You know what I mean? Or get to be at that last gathering or get to answer that last call or even be the one to initiate that last call. So it's. It's just not a good feeling. And I just wanted to kind of put that out there in case anyone else is experiencing the same or in case you've been battling, like, how you are relating to the people in your life or maybe not doing a good job either and wanting to get better. Like, don't wait for these panicky moments where it's like, too late, you know? And like I said, I'm thankful she knew how much I loved her. So I'm not going to be too hard on myself, but it is hard to be like, damn, that was just a sweet video that made her think of me. At least I could done is. You know what I mean?
