Twinkles Toes

Summary

The Friend Zone – Episode: Twinkle Toes (June 17, 2026)

Hosts: Dustin Ross, Hey Fran Hey (Francesca), Assanté
Podcast Theme: Exploring mental health, mental wealth, and mental hygiene—with humor, cultural commentary, and authentic friendship

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Episode Overview

This engaging, laughter-filled episode centers on friendship, vulnerability among Black and brown men, and the importance of emotional connection. Fran introduces a new card game—You Good—designed to spark deeper conversations among men, and uses it to guide thoughtful, candid discussions with Dustin and Assanté about masculinity, friendship, love, anger, and personal growth. The episode skillfully blends humor, heartfelt reflection, musical nostalgia, and practical community shout-outs.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Celebrating Dirty Old Men? (02:10 – 07:59)

• Dustin shares observations about the “dirty old man” archetype, using pop culture moments.
  • Reflects on Jesse Jackson’s passing—relates to viral images of elderly Black men unapologetically enjoying life, sometimes being a “dirty old man.”
  • Brings up Garrett Morris’s recent photo with Taraji P. Henson, sparking social media commentary.

“All I want to share with our audience is keep living, okay? Keep living. Because much like the icon Bevy Smith said, it gets greater later.” —Dustin Ross (06:13)

• Discussion segues into broader reflections on aging and permission to enjoy oneself later in life.

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2. Community Announcements—Patreon & Comedy Shows (10:12 – 12:43)

• Assanté promotes their Patreon community:

  • Offers live Wednesday Wind Down, bonus content, commercial-free episodes.

• Dustin announces comedy tour dates:

  • Multiple City Winery shows across the country from June to July; meet & greet opportunities.

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3. Black Business Highlight (12:43 – 15:22)

• Hue Darling Candle Company gets spotlighted.
  • Created by a Black woman leaving corporate life to pursue her passion.
  • Sells hand-poured candles, hosts workshops in Missouri City, TX, and offers online orders.
  • Visit hue darling candle co.com (13:09) | IG/TikTok/FB: hue darling.candle company

“To quit your corporate job and take a chance. I'm hoping that it does extremely well.” —Francesca (14:56)

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4. Community Recap: Parenting, Insurance, & Technology Woes (15:22 – 41:02)

• Listener Feedback Recap:
  • Parenting time debates ("three hour moms")—diverse views from teachers, counselors, working parents, emphasizing non-linear nature of parenting (17:14, 19:19, 21:56).
  • Navigating car insurance, aftermarket parts, and rental coverage—real-life frustrations and learning (23:15, 24:55).
  • Technology changing rent payments (39:17–41:15); challenges for elders and non-tech-savvy folks.

“They just don't consider a lot of people when they're making these electronic changes.” —Francesca (39:17)

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5. Card Game Deep Dive: Vulnerability & Friendship Among Black and Brown Men (53:12 – 1:57:48)

About the Game (You Good)

Created by two Black men “to nurture vulnerable conversations Black and brown men should be having.” Focuses on unseen burdens, love, mental health, brotherhood, generational threads.

Card Question Highlights

a. The Role in Your Friend Group (59:27–62:15):

• Assanté: “I try to be the person that brings lightness…whether we're laughing or in our feelings, I like to connect.”
• Dustin: “I bring a balance of fun and being dead ass serious…all my friends know I'm a locked vault... We cherish and nurture the bond.”

b. What Do You Need Most from Male Friendships Now? (63:41–65:08):

• Dustin: Trust—friends understanding his time/energy limitations due to life demands, without taking it personally.
• Assanté: Understanding—even if “understanding that we don’t understand each other,” but sustaining support.

c. Vulnerability and Modeling It (69:48–73:17):

• Both hosts discuss the balance between sharing feelings vs. not “being the wet blanket,” and the importance of self-editing.
• Dustin notes the challenge for men to express emotion or talk through conflict; “men don't show emotion, so they'll be mad but not say anything.”

d. Profound Friendship Moments (77:16–80:43):

• Both recall times friends supported them through tragic events; “to this day cares about me... if I ever got someone's name tattooed on me... it would probably be Crystal.” (Asanté, 80:03).

e. Conversations Men Needed But Never Had (81:47–86:54):

• Dustin: Wishes someone told him acceptance was an option, rather than feeling like life was a struggle—would have saved “15 years.”
• Assanté: “I wish more conversations were centered around how there's not one way to do something… when it comes to manhood.”

f. Wisdom From Older/Younger Men (87:42–96:13):

• Dustin: “Uncle told me never shave my balls or cut my ass hair”—keep it real, keep it grown.
• Assanté: Manager Rashard—“always be kind… always try,” as a Black gay man and mentor in NYC.

g. Dealing With Anger (105:39–113:56):

• Both pinpoint anger as the hardest emotion to sit with. Dustin: “Anger... is very difficult to control and is... ignited by something someone did.”
• Coping strategies: cannabis, intentional self-inquiry, walking away. Importance of not being perceived as a “hothead” (107:00).

h. Love, Heartbreak & Evolution (128:28–141:55):

• Love seen as “life-changing, life-altering, permanent marker.”
• Emphasize the need for deep friendship as the foundation of Black gay love.
• “Falling into love kills old versions of yourself and brings forth a new version.” —Assanté (132:16)
• Heartbreak: dealt with minute by minute, requiring self-talk, patience, allowing new connections.

i. Legacy & Remembrance (153:54–157:47):

• Dustin: “Want people to feel I was the realest nigga they ever met… a loyal friend.”
• Assanté: “Just want people to know he was a good person, out the way, tried to make sure everyone enjoyed themselves.”
• Both focus on being remembered as caring, authentic friends.

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Notable Quotes / Memorable Moments

• “Keep living… it gets greater later.” —Dustin Ross (06:13)
• “I bring a balance of fun and being dead ass serious to my friendships. We gonna laugh, but we can be 100% real.” —Dustin Ross (61:10)
• “I just like things to flow. Let it flow. Let's have a good time.” —Assanté (60:41)
• “If acceptance would have been presented as an option... I'd be 15 years ahead in my life.” —Dustin Ross (83:18)
• “Our love has to have a foundational basis of friendship… and I understand that now.” —Dustin Ross (131:21)
• “Heartbreak: It's a day by day, hour by hour walk. You have to be present, talk yourself through it.” —Dustin Ross (134:26)
• “I want all my friends to feel like Dustin was really my friend... I want you to know I cared.” —Dustin Ross (153:59, 155:56)

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Music & TV Segment Highlights

Music (Listens Lately)

• Heavy 90s/2000s nostalgia: Sheryl Crow, Sarah McLachlan, classics from Houston (Zero, Mo City Don), gospel (Dietrich Haddon).
• New releases: Sarai (Ray J's niece), Black ft. Quinn—“Love is the New Gangster,” Pink Pantheress ft. Zara Larsson “Stateside”.
• Discussion on evolution of music, generational differences in music appreciation.

TV

• Love & Marriage Huntsville Reunion: “One of the best reunions I've seen in a long time.” (193:32)
• Bell Collective (Jackson, MS): Mid-season break ends, show resumes.
• Real Housewives of Atlanta (Season 17): “Incredible season... hope everyone returns.”
• Maternal Instinct (Netflix): Disturbing true crime doc highly recommended by multiple hosts.

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Other Noteworthy Segments

• Black Business Plug: Hue Darling Candle Company (12:43)
• Listener Feedback: Robust engagement on Spotify regarding parenting, insurance policies, and technology in daily life (15:22–41:15).
• Random Hilarity: Running jokes about “twinkle toes,” wild card game questions (“Why are you gay?”—57:38), how to deal with large male anatomy, and “never shave your balls” advice.
• Community Wisdom: Emotional honesty, what friendship should look like, how to handle conflict, how older and younger generations inform one another.

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Segment | Timestamp | |--------------------------------|-----------| | Dirty old man intro | 02:10 | | Announcements (Patreon, Tours) | 10:12 | | Black Business Highlight | 12:43 | | Parenting & Insurance Recap | 15:22 | | Recap on tech and rent | 39:17 | | Card Game & Male Vulnerability | 53:12 | | Friendship Deep Dives | 59:27 | | Anger management | 105:39 | | Love, heartbreak, growth | 128:28 | | Legacy, how you want to be seen| 153:54 | | Music/TV round-up | 162:40 |

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Overall Tone

• Warm, funny, and unfiltered—the hosts keep things real, openly sharing personal struggles, joys, and the value of friendship.
• Reflective and affirming—models vulnerability among Black and brown men, breaking taboos about emotional expression.
• Community-focused—highlights Black businesses, incorporates listener feedback, and references shared pop culture touchstones with humor and care.

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Final Takeaway

This episode is a love letter to authentic friendship, rooted in both light-hearted banter and deep emotional truth. The “You Good” card game sparks rich discussions about masculinity, emotional health, and the power of having a true community, especially for Black and brown men—beautifully balancing humor, nostalgia, and wisdom for anyone seeking real connection.

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Resource:
You Good Card Game – yougoodbrand.com (Check them out for meaningful conversation starters!)

Transcript

[Pharmaceutical Announcer]

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[Asante]

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[Dustin Ross]

Welcome to the Friends.

[Francesca]

Every time I'm in the Zone.

[Asante]

My name is Dustin.

[Francesca]

I'm Francesca, also known as hey friend.

[Pharmaceutical Announcer]

Hey.

[Asante]

My name is Assante.

[Dustin Ross]

This is the Friend Zone. Let's start the show. I'm in a zona.

[Asante]

Calm down, calm down.

[Pharmaceutical Announcer]

Calm.

[Asante]

I come in peace from the motherland over here with these American

[Francesca]

calm down.

[Dustin Ross]

And I mean calm. Now we gonna have a little fun this week. You know what I'm saying? Because I'm a man of a certain age, black man at that of a certain age. Okay? So there's a code of growing old that I feel like I'm gonna follow. And one of our recently fallen leaders, Reverend Jesse Jackson, is part of this. So I say this with all due respect, right? But I noticed something recently that has become an apparent. I've seen two people do it, and that's the dirty old man picture, okay? And they need to calm down, these American niggas, including you, Jesse. Y' all need to calm down. Earlier today. Let me add a little context. Earlier today, Taraji P. Henson's recent Instagram post came across my desk where she was celebrating. Taraji P. Henson was celebrating her friends that had visited her on the set of Joe Turner's Come and Gone. You know, she's currently starring on Broadway in that. In the collage. This was actually posted one day ago at the time of recording. Today is Tuesday, June 16. So this was posted on June 15. Taraji shared a post where she said, God, really don't play about me. My friends always come through and support, but seeing them after a Joe Turner Broadway show puts the biggest smile on my face. Broadway is the destination people have to travel to come see the performance. And I don't take that lightly. Thank you all so much for the love and to all the fans for coming at night after night. I love you all. So she was happy. And she shares a collage with people like Angela Bassett, you know what I'm saying? Of course, her co star, Cedric the Entertainer, Whoopi Goldberg. You know what I mean? Really? The who's who, you know what I'm saying? And one of the people who came to see her was Garrett Morris. Now, you all know who Garrett Morris is. He's the actor. Yes, iconic actor, who plays Stan on Martin. He played the uncle on the Jamie Foxx show. You know what I'm saying? He's Garrett Morris. We know him. He's forever. Well, he was happy to see Taraji. Taraji had on a very cute dress that tied in the front with lace trim around the triangle sections that held up her bosom. She had on sunglasses, and she was smiling. For our Patreon brethren and those who will see this later, I'm going to show you this picture, and I want you all to just tell me what you see. Young.

[Asante]

Now look at.

[Dustin Ross]

Look at Taraji smiling.

[Francesca]

It ain't his fault.

[Dustin Ross]

It's God, but God. You know what I'm saying? Now stay with me, because here's where Jesse Jackson comes into play. There was a tweet recently that I seen. Because, you know, Jesse Jackson, like I said, God rest his soul. God rest his soul. He passed away recently. And when people were celebrating him and sharing photos and things like that of themselves with Jesse Jackson, I saw a tweet that struck a chord with me because it was funny. Shout out to the Twitter user. So this is a little bit of a show intro and tweet of the week Fusion hybrid moment. Shout out to the Twitter user. Jessica Rabbit at IM underscore beyond it. This is after Jesse passed, Right. Her first tweet was in response to a tweet announcing Jesse's death. She said, oh, no, with an exclamation point, like we all did. Then she followed that up with a tweet that says, I was just cracking up about my friend not putting her titties away when she met him the other week.

[Asante]

So this is Jesse, and it's accompanied

[Dustin Ross]

with a picture of Jesse Jackson, weeks shy of his passing. So this is him to the last minute of his life. I want you to look at how he's holding this faceless woman's hand. Cause it's from the neck down. And look at his face smiling. This is for Patreon.

[Asante]

Look at Jesse.

[Dustin Ross]

I'm talking about on his literal last leg. But he made. He found joy and happiness in them titties in his face. So the company, him, Garrett Morris. You know, all I want to share with our audience is keep living, okay? Keep living. Because much like the icon Bevy Smith said, it gets greater later. And so we don't even have to

[Asante]

go no more into it.

[Francesca]

Maroon 5 song is getting heavy, heavy in here.

[Asante]

Wow.

[Francesca]

Wow, Grandpa.

[Dustin Ross]

I sent that to one of my friends.

[Francesca]

Say, I didn't know your game.

[Dustin Ross]

O N O a N, as a matter of fact. But I sent it to one of my friends, and they were like. I was like, taraji is crazy for posting this. And my friend go, say, what? What you mean? Why you say that?

[Asante]

I said, his fucking nasty dick is hard.

[Dustin Ross]

You don't see that in the picture. It's filthy. Like, what is wrong with you? And my friend was like, oh, I didn't see that. Because who would look at Gary Morris's crotch? But I seen it.

[Francesca]

I don't know if I would have noticed, but I saw the tweets where people were saying, wait a minute.

[Dustin Ross]

You know, they were sounding like Ms. Sophia in our show intro. Why don't you calm down?

[Francesca]

Calm down.

[Dustin Ross]

Calm down, you nasty American. Calm down.

[Francesca]

I love y' all so much. They hear me out.

[Dustin Ross]

Welcome to the Friend zone. We can look at all things from the health, mental, wellness and mental. Check yourself. Okay. Because who in the hell wants to be a dirty old man? I know I'm going to, but I don't want to just choose it.

[Asante]

You know, I was gonna say the dirty old man. Been out on the social medias because I thought you were about to start talking about that dude. There's this older dude. Remember when I talked about Rico from Beauty and Black? You know, being like a fitness influencer?

[Francesca]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sent us the clip.

[Asante]

Yeah. So I feel like I'm getting like a bunch of, you know, mature fitness influencers on my page. So I'll be looking at the older man looking fine. Like, oh, okay. You know, I could still work to something, right? Randomly. I keep seeing like the Y videos too, you know, when people are doing the TikTok dances. So the worlds have collided. There is this man who's. I don't even. I don't want to over. Hm. But let's say he's over 40, over 50, right? But he's fine. He's doing a dance to this song. They're like, watch me. Like, you know that man.

[Dustin Ross]

I'm talking 71, but the engine is 20. I think he said, when you're 71, but the engine is still 21.

[Francesca]

What?

[Asante]

Yes.

[Francesca]

I didn't see that.

[Asante]

And he is like popping, thrusting and so you like. Okay, okay.

[Francesca]

No, I don't know.

[Asante]

Yeah, so when you talk about dirty old niggas, that was the first one that came to mind because he keeps. He went viral one time doing it. So like now he's put up the same clip, like the video of it, like every day.

[Francesca]

I don't know.

[Asante]

I never understand pages like that, but sometimes they are still successful. So it's like, I don't judge, but it is always confusing.

[Dustin Ross]

Yeah, well, I'm sure he. Yeah, more power to him. You know what I'm saying? At least that's how he was introduced to the masses. Right, right. Being a nasty nigga. This here is Jesse Jackson. The Reverend Dr. Jesse L. Jackson. Put Rainbow push code.

[Asante]

Two more things come. Black money that we think of before we go back.

[Dustin Ross]

Jesse Jackson wanted black people to get to the money. You know, when you get a chance, I know we know who Jesse Jackson is. And maybe I'll do a deep dive into Jesse Jackson on this show at some point, look him up and you're gonna get to know him a little bit better. And so him being happy about titties and holding that woman's hand with care days before he left here. It just makes me feel happiness for him because I know he was happy and so, you know, that's it. It's just nice to have that. What's up, everybody? How y' all doing? Hey, friend. Hey, Sante.

[Francesca]

How y' all doing? Do y' all have any announcements before we jump in? Jump in?

[Dustin Ross]

Yes.

[Francesca]

I know Asante has one and I know Dustin has one.

[Dustin Ross]

So we go in alphabetical order.

[Asante]

If you are part of our gated community, our magical place where we get to be ourselves, and if you don't know what that is, go to patreon.com friendsown podcast to find out. But if you are a part of it, [e-mail] friends on podcast we are coming up on our last Wednesday of the month. The 24th is the last Wednesday of June at 8pm Eastern Standard Time. We will be going live as per our Wednesday wind down. Lechat, you know where it's at. If you don't know, you need to know. Okay. Patreon.com friendsown podcast we're more than the live. You get video versions of us. You get commercial free versions of us. You get extra content where we're reading and binging TV shows together. Let's have a ball. That's all for me. Dustin Ross, what you got to say to the people?

[Dustin Ross]

I'm very excited. I need everybody to go to dustinrosslive.com immediately and get a ticket to my comedy shows. Here's the date and here's the shows you can attend if you're in the area. So starting with this Friday, June 19th in Philadelphia. Now that's on Juneteenth.

[Francesca]

I'm blasting to be a good one.

[Dustin Ross]

Support me. Okay, so we have that July 7th, we have Chicago. Last time we had a great time in Chicago. I'm back. Come see me in Chicago. All of these are a city winery venue, so you can go to Dustin Ross Live or your local city winery website, citywinery.com and just look up the venue. You'll see that link there for access to tickets. July 9th St. Louis. I remember we had a good time last year. I'm happy to be coming back. St. Louis, Boston, which I did not go to last year, but I'm very excited about on July 21st. ATL I'll be back July 24th. There's two shows that night, so dive in. You know what I'm saying? And Nashville, July 26, I'm closing things out in Nashville, Cashville and that's going to be a special show so I can't wait for that. So if you're in one of those Cities, go to dustinrosslive.com and or your city Winery website. There are ticket links available as well as meet and greet add on packages available where we can take Chris Brown style pictures and just have a really good time and connect and really talk to each other. So dustinrosslive.com get your ticket and come see me. I'm a single dad y' all. See my dog it ain't real but it's mine. I'm a single dad I gotta ask for so come on. Thank you

[Francesca]

and let's jump into Black Business Highlights so we received an email from Malik. He said hi friend Dustin and Asante, I wanted to share a new brick and mortar business for Black Business of the Week. My wife quit her corporate job a few months ago to pursue entrepreneurship full time. After running her candle business as a side hustle for years, she decided to open up a brick and mortar shop in Missouri City, Texas.

[Dustin Ross]

Sis okay.

[Francesca]

Called yeah, it's called Hugh Darling Candle Company. She's a visual artist and candle maker which is how the name came to be. This process,

[Dustin Ross]

I mean I was trying

[Asante]

to move just a gulping oh my goodness.

[Francesca]

This process has been a labor of love filled with many delays due to unpredicted things that came with demoing the space. She was finally able to open in May. I'm truly proud of her on, on and on. Many of those late nights getting the space together, we spent our time listening to the Friend Zone because she is an avid listener, added pics of the before and after. She created a beautiful environment to highlight the hand poured candles and host her candle making workshops. I know she'd freak out if her business got a shout out on the Friend Zone and and I would love to surprise her. She's really excited to offer this to Missouri City, Texas and the Houston area. Candles can also be ordered online and reservations for classes can be made at hugh darling candle co.com that's h u e D A R L I n G C A n D L e c o dot com. She also has right IG, TikTok and FB. Her username on all those platforms is hue darling dot candle company. She said he says there's more in depth videos on those socials on her journey embracing being an artist and entrepreneur. Thank you Malik. I'll definitely include the link to the website and all of her socials down below in our description box so it's easier access. But thank you for emailing us.

[Dustin Ross]

Shout out to them. Oh city.

[Francesca]

And congratulations to your wife. Right?

[Dustin Ross]

Yes.

[Francesca]

To quit your corporate job and take a chance. I'm hoping that it does extremely well. I'm hoping that our shout out can help send some energy your way. Definitely 100 visit her brick and mortar. If you're not in the city, definitely order from the website. Like I said, I will include all the links below so that you guys can check her out. That's Hugh Darling Candle Company. Thank you Malik Moss. And that is the Black Business Highlight of the week.

[Dustin Ross]

Perfect. We need to send Carrie over there.

[Francesca]

Oh yeah, Carrie would be so cute. So let's jump into the recap segment. Last week's episode titled A Ramp to Crazy. Thank you so much Dustin Ross. It was a shoot the shit episode that meant there was no hot button, no segments, just whatever wanted to come up. Who stood out to you? Asante?

[Asante]

Everybody named Mama out in the Spotify streets shout out to you all. You all stood out to me. But because I can only pick a few, let me just pick a few. I want to start with El Monster. Well, L3 Monster, I'm not entirely sure how to say your name. Excuse me if I mispronounced, but the comment reads, I lost my cousin recently and my job is going to write me up for missing work. But this episode filled me with so much laughter and joy. It completely filled my spirit.

[Dustin Ross]

Look y', all, that makes me much love to you.

[Asante]

So much love to you. And fuck your job. Just keep it pee when you go back in there, don't even worry about them. They feel like they had to cover they ass. They don't care about you. We care about you. Fuck that job. Just get your money and go. You ain't got to quit the job and curse nobody out and go crazy. Do it in your head. Unless there's somebody you can get away with cursing out a little bit and make you feel better. There was always one or two of those at the work spot. The other comment I want to read comes from Nikki. Nikki's comment reads this. This one made me laugh because of that conversation that we had. It's fascinating that people were angry at the three Hour mom comment because if you do the math, how much time do parents actually spend with their kids? They drop them at school, then go pick them up homework, then it's dinner and bed. It's probably only a few, few more than three hours a day. And then somebody replied, I was thinking the same thing as I was Listening. Working moms are more than likely three hour moms too. And that comment came from recognized, underscore taste. So I just love the fact that there were mothers because there were other

[Francesca]

comments, tons of mothers writing.

[Asante]

I love the fact that there were mothers that commented. Now, not everyone agreed, but mother the. The journey of parenting. Okay, Because I can't speak to motherhood. The journey of parenting. I feel I can't even speak to parenting. Either way, the journey of parenting is non linear. Okay, y'.

[Dustin Ross]

All.

[Asante]

This woman had put this book out. She's at a certain level. Maybe some things resonate because some things resonate with these people. Maybe some things don't resonate. Don't make it make you angry. It's just funny. It is funny that it's like such a. Like, it's like a. It's not like a quick thing because you know you're talking about parenting and it's so personal. But the way that people are coming at each other because I saw some comments on Instagram too, and I was like, damn, this was a serious thing. Like, after you talked about it, I didn't even go look it up. I just kept coming across it and seen. I'm like, wow, women are ruthless.

[Dustin Ross]

Sign with the mom shaming.

[Asante]

I'm not.

[Dustin Ross]

If it don't work for you, right, if it don't work for you, you know what I'm saying, then so be it. That's it. Let that lady raise her kids. If her kids are doing well, what's the problem? I don't like that. I was just talking about another show, Love and Marriage Huntsville, where I felt like people were encouraging one of the cast members to be a stay at home mom. Even though she had expressed that she did not want to do, you know, she had other pursuits. I just thought it was like, I don't know. To me, if a woman wants to do that, who is. It's not even like a. It's just not a question. That's her right to me. So, like, if you want to work, work. Why are you making her feel like she's less of a mom because she works. I don't get it. You can see if her kids were like suffering, doing bad in school, not going to school, looking crazy, whatever. These healthy kids. Why are you.

[Francesca]

Kids need space from you too.

[Asante]

Right, Right. Sorry. I had read a couple more of the mom comments on Spotify. Y' all was really. Let me just share a couple more. And I'm now gonna move on. Next time I'm gonna read comes From Jay. Jay creates. Or Jai creates. I feel like I've done this before. My bad boy. I'm gonna just say Jay because it starts with one.

[Dustin Ross]

Okay.

[Asante]

Jay's comment reads, yeah, being a parent for only three hours a day is not healthy mentally for kids. Those kids are going to end up having social and emotional issues in the end. Anyone agreeing with that style of parenting doesn't need to have kids.

[Francesca]

Ooh, Jay spicy J.

[Asante]

You know what I'm saying? Like. Like, cj, Like, I feel you and I respect you, but it's like, the way that certain statements are made, it's

[Dustin Ross]

just like, right, I don't have no kids, so I'm out of it.

[Francesca]

I didn't feel the dog in that

[Dustin Ross]

fight, and I don't want to be one of them if I had kids, because it didn't hit me, because we don't.

[Asante]

Right, Right. And so, last comment I want to read.

[Dustin Ross]

I hope Jay got kids. Do Jay got kids?

[Asante]

Well, we don't know. So, look, that's what we. That's what we will all leave it right there. Right. Zainab. Yeah, Zaynab. Zainab's comment reads, I'm cracking up at this immigra. Is it. What was her last name? Gred Gerd.

[Francesca]

Greed. I don't know.

[Asante]

I'm cracking up for this Emmy greed segment. Lol.

[Francesca]

I really.

[Asante]

I recently read her book Start with Yourself. And y' all are spot on with her take when it comes to being a parent, having a career, etcetera, Y' all are comedy. Y' all are comedy friends. So, so many points are being made here. And this is coming from a mom. Lol. So I'm. That was the comment I'm gonna close out with. There was actually one more comment I want to read to you, friend, about the car. Oh, actually, that's the last comment. I read them and give it to you, friend. This one comes from Shanae Dore. Shanae's comment reads, hey, friend, I work in an auto body shop, specifically at a body shop that works with many insurance companies. I'm a parts coordinator, and I can confirm that aftermarket parts will not affect your vehicle's word. Okay. Not all aftermarket parts are made equal to manufacturers, obviously, so, you know, that does need to be said. But there are many aftermarket sellers who have specific certifications in terms of it. If you're already reselling to the dealership, don't worry about all the parts being from the manufacturer. That one got a few.

[Francesca]

Thank you for that.

[Asante]

That one got a Few likes. Now, it seems like that could be very feasible, friends. So, you know, just ask a few more questions. But going, you know, feeling like you got.

[Francesca]

Oh, my. It's already. Dealership parts already on.

[Asante]

Oh, well, thank you, because I know my friend and Loki. I knew she was going to do. I knew she was going to. Gonna do what she wanted. I knew all that. All that.

[Francesca]

Look, no, but I. I appreciate women.

[Asante]

Yeah. Now, look, friend, I ain't even mad at you because I already knew what time it was.

[Dustin Ross]

But you already know.

[Francesca]

I was like, I want what I want. Put it.

[Asante]

Okay, friend, what did you find out in the streets? Because I could go all day and Spotify. Y' all was having a good time over there.

[Francesca]

So Shells in the gated community, who I'm assuming is a teacher. So I like this. We're getting the teacher's perspective. She says a lot of her students are on campus until 6:15 and may not get home until 7 if the kids go to sleep at a reasonable time. Some parents aren't really with them like that. My mom worked 12 hour shifts, so we didn't see her much when she worked nights. Three hours is actually a pretty generous amount of time, depending how old your kids are. I think some people are angry because

[Dustin Ross]

they are projecting 100% JJ whatever your name was.

[Francesca]

We. We had a lot of people ride in, and I love it from the different angles. There was, like, counselors, teachers, you know, who are also moms. And so everyone's like, if we're working, we'll be grateful to have three hours to spare. I think of my mom, too. My mom was working full time and going to school. And I remember I would see her in the morning, you know, and then the rest of the day, I was with my grandparents. So it's like she did what she could, you know, to be able to, like, keep us stable.

[Dustin Ross]

I feel like. Like, there's a lot of other mother stories too. And before people like, you do what you can, JB or whoever, you know what I'm saying? Like, say things like that. You got to think about that. You know what I'm saying?

[Francesca]

Yeah. And people have different stories, you know, different financial capacities. I mean, a lot of parents are working two jobs. Like, let's be real here. You got to think of the economy. But, you know, everyone has an opinion. Amber said, insurance really aggravates me. I'm the consumer that just pays for the highest limits of everything, just in case. When I got sideswiped and needed a rental, my claims person Was surprised because My policy covered $100 a day for a rental. He said he's never dealt with anyone who actually has that high amount for a rental. I have a Mercedes eqe, and I would be damned if they try to put me in a Toyota. Rentals are expensive these days, Especially when you start adding in all those damn fees they like to tack on. And see, I love this, Amber, because this is one of the downsides that I'm realizing. I. When I had to pick insurance, I had never even had a car.

[Dustin Ross]

Yeah.

[Francesca]

You know, so there's a lot of things I just wasn't completely aware of. Like, you know, and I'm learning now as I go, because I picked 50, but I probably didn't even really. I don't rent cars. You know, Like, I'm not in the car world at all. I've never rented a car. So it was like I didn't really know what's good or what's not.

[Asante]

I just probably you're trying to make sure you recovered something. You know what I'm saying?

[Francesca]

But now that I've experienced two people hitting me and have had to rely on rentals, you are absolutely correct. And that's something that I'm like, oh, I'm, like, learning on the job. Because this is what happened when I went to get the rental. They did not give me anything that compared to my damn car because they couldn't.

[Asante]

Yep.

[Francesca]

My policy essentially didn't cover that. Only thing I will say, I'm not gonna get her in trouble. So I won't say where. But it was a great black girl

[Dustin Ross]

who did great black girl things.

[Francesca]

Beautiful. You already know. I don't even know what to say. And I appreciate it. Cause she was just like, you're good.

[Dustin Ross]

Shout out to her.

[Francesca]

Thank you for good people in good places. But you're absolutely right, Amber. And that's something that I'm gonna have to modify. Cause I'm also realizing people would be getting you in accidents. It don't even have to be you. And so I was concerned about that. But anyway, we also have Brittany who says, fran, I've had two accidents since I got my truck brand new in December of 2024. And both times, someone else hit me. Oh, it's actually in the shop right now. A drunk lady hit my truck and four other cars parked on the street outside of a restaurant. She said, someone sent help for us tourist girlies in our cars. Girl, we going through it.

[Dustin Ross]

Don't even be.

[Francesca]

You got your car, too.

[Asante]

That's Crazy.

[Francesca]

Could you imagine it? Don't even be you parked outside of a restaurant. You just eating with your friend probably.

[Asante]

Mind you, I don't like parallel parking. So when I do parallel park, I try to be all up on that sidewalk. Like I'm like, let me get all up out the street. Because you're not gonna.

[Francesca]

Especially if you park in the corner. So people making that turn, you just be praying, praying that they can drive. Oh, lastly, Chris said, fran, be sure to back up your files. Somewhere on that old ass Mac is basically what he's telling me. You can use time machine.

[Asante]

Time machine. I wish I had a time machine.

[Francesca]

You can use time machine with an external drive. I had to replace my 2020 Mac. Apple is releasing a lot of software changes this fall and none of the old ass gear is going to support it. Bas said anything older than 2022. I already backed up everything. I have learned my lesson because I'm someone that keeps my electronics till they die. I have learned that through trial and error because I have had laptops just completely die on me and was not able to back up. Mainly pictures. That's usually what like breaks my heart. Like if I have memories, all those memories just gone. That and my ipod dying with 10,000 songs on it. You want to talk about heartbreak?

[Asante]

Yep.

[Francesca]

Heartbreak Hotel.

[Dustin Ross]

So Heartbreak City.

[Francesca]

I mean heartbreak especially all the demos I had of my friends. Things that you can't get back.

[Asante]

And so I feel like a piece of me died when I lost a lot of that. Like when streaming came into play and they changed the library and people lost music. A piece of me died during that time.

[Francesca]

Oh yes. All the itunes shit that you lost that you bought, they've been playing with us. But yes, I do. What's the little orange drive? It starts with a C. I know.

[Dustin Ross]

I'm talking about what you're talking about.

[Francesca]

Little rubbery orange drive that's silver in the middle. Yeah, that's the one. I have like five. I have my YouTube videos all on one. I have all the campaigns I've had over the past 15, 16 years all on one. Like each one has a different era of my life. So.

[Asante]

Yeah.

[Francesca]

Thank you, Crystal. As long. Yes, my is old but I have a little bit of. Have a little bit of know how with these things. Dustin, you find any Twitter. Twitter things you want to share with us?

[Dustin Ross]

I did and you were on your Denzel Washington. You leaving that computer with something. Okay. You backed your shit up just now. I just did this while you guys were speaking. I was reminded of A video I seen on Instagram recently where this woman, this black woman, had stopped this white lady that had just hit a car in a parking lot. And the lady was trying to leave without leaving her insurance information for the parked car. I want you guys to listen to the audio of this and watch Nightmare. Watch the moment that things change. Take a listen. It's quick.

[Francesca]

She just hit this vehicle here and she doesn't want to leave her insurance

[Asante]

information because she says that there's no damage.

[Francesca]

It's the right thing to do.

[Asante]

If someone did it to your car,

[Francesca]

you would want them to leave information also. And then the grapes I have on this car.

[Asante]

Probably because you make. Probably because you make turns like that. No, ma', am.

[Francesca]

It happens when I'm parked somewhere because you can't drive my ass.

[Dustin Ross]

Hey, leave your insurance information or I'm calling the police.

[Asante]

Escalating quickly.

[Francesca]

Send me that. Sending that on my phone. Sending.

[Dustin Ross]

I was. As y' all were talking, I was like, this reminds me of listening. They was. They were. Her and the lady that hit the car were both tearing each other up, if I'm being fair. Because the lady gonna say, no, it happens when I'm parked somewhere. That's what she said. The lady gonna say, get off my ass and walk off. And that's when the black lady's like, hey, leave your insurance information.

[Francesca]

No, but did you see the other one where the lady was rolling up her license plate?

[Dustin Ross]

I standing behind it.

[Francesca]

I just started curling it up so the lady couldn't.

[Dustin Ross]

She did like, no, no. And stood in front of it. I'm like, yo, these people have had the.

[Francesca]

No, it was. It's too much. That is hilarious. And I'm thankful because the guy that hit my car at the parking lot, only reason I knew was cuz he left a note.

[Dustin Ross]

A good person. Yeah.

[Francesca]

He left a note on my windshield and said, I am so sorry I fucked up your bumper. Here's my name, here's my number, here's my insurance agent's name. My insurance. I mean, he left the whole shebang. And I'm glad that I saw it too, because, you know, you could have turned your car on and drove off. And thankful. Yeah, so thankful. Because he could have driven off.

[Dustin Ross]

I wouldn't have known maybe that lady was behind him. Hey, man, leave your fucking.

[Francesca]

Fucking bitch. Yo, people are out here crazy. Anyways, the week before last, we had another episode. Thank you Asante for that one. And it was titled the Internet is Down. Where we discussed AI and connected technology, how it's connected to convenience, adaptation and everyday life online. And Asante asked, what are we actually looking for when we log on? A lot of you listening had a lot to say. Who said that to you, Asante?

[Asante]

A lot of people did their thing in the Spotify streets yet again. The person I want to shout out quickly first is Latoya Charisse. I like that name. Latoya's comment reads, I have a fuck yeah and a fuck you, but it's not to us. It's not to us. I read the comment, fuck AI customer service. My parents waited over a month for repair on their refrigerators because I wouldn't get it together. They'd say someone was coming from 8 to 5 and then never show. I was so damn mad because that's my parents. And it was funny because, well, not funny, but it was ironic because we were talking about older people and how technology sometimes just isn't kind to that generation. Right. And then she goes on to say, and now I want to give a fuck you. A fuck. Yeah. To Discover, like the credit card company. Yes. And I just want to make sure because she said she was going to give a fuck in to fuck you. But I read the fuck you first

[Dustin Ross]

fucked us all over. And we was 19, got that Discover card that we all had.

[Francesca]

Go ahead with that person that was at Subway when you was in college trying to get food and it was like, you can get a credit card.

[Asante]

He was like, okay, you want free pizza? You. You want free pizza?

[Dustin Ross]

Okay.

[Asante]

They love that one. Yeah. To Discover, because they have real people on the line and they must be paid well with benefits because I actually felt like they gave a damn about my issue. Best customer service ever. Now see there, now see there's some good customer service is going to take you far. Right? Because when she mentioned Discover, I ain't really think nothing. Not great either. But that right there, I was like, you know what? That'll make you consider some things. Just. Just to know I can get a person on the line. Now, not everybody gonna care, but the fact that happened is, you know, rare and magical. Next comment I want to read is from Rex. Rex comment reads, I have sent my girlfriend AI once or twice, once or twice before and the last we have lmfao. I hate being got. The AI is out of control. There are people watching videos and sharing them and. And products as we discussed before, because Giselle had bought ghost products. I don't know if she gave an update anywhere on if she ghost products.

[Francesca]

Oh, I'm still mad about that. Not her, but just the fact that

[Asante]

that exists, that is a thing, right? It's like, what the is wrong with y'? All? A couple comments. A couple more comments I want to share. Next one reads from Tamara Plumber, or Tamara Plumber. Excuse me, sister. Timorous comment reads, I know Corinne Bailey Ray is known mostly for her early work because I with that first album heavily, but you should definitely check out her newest album. There are some really good tracks on there, and it's a listen the whole way through situation. If you're gonna tell me something like that, I'm gonna do it. So I'm gonna check that out. I made sure I shared that because I do love me some Kareem Bailey Ray. So for you to have, there's. There's got to be something there, and I wants to find it. I had one more comment I wanted to read, but I forgot this one made me laugh. I'm gonna leave it here. This is the last one. Maya Taylor's comment reads, Y', all, I need to know who the influencer who cooks half naked is for science.

[Francesca]

Mm. I was gonna say maybe we'll include it in the carousel. I don't know if.

[Asante]

If that. If it comes back up somehow, maybe we will figure out a way to share that for science. Maya. That's where I'll leave it. Fran, what did you find in the Streets for that episode?

[Francesca]

A lot of people were asking me to share the name of the AI artist that I had to delete from the episode. I will share because if I share it, everyone, out of curiosity, is going to go see it. That's how we send them traffic. And then the white person that's probably behind her is going to get money. And I hate the thought of that. It's digital blackface. But anyways, let me get to my comment. Victoria on Twitter said, I have had a bill errantly go to collections, and it was still on my credit report for seven years. And coincidentally enough, it was from FedEx. That just pissed me off because that's exactly what's about to happen to me. For what? Ups. And you know what's even worse? I just got an email from UPS saying that they're refunding everyone for the tariffs that they've paid, because apparently they've been deemed. So I looked into this. No, right? I looked into this because I was like, is this fishing? Am I like, like, what is happening? So I look into it, and apparently all the major companies are getting their money back, right, from all the tariffs. The money that they have paid because you know a lot. Some companies have been eating the cost so that when you go to put your order in, you don't have to get those duties and those tariffs when it comes to your door, blah, blah, blah. They've been eating those costs. Government's going to pay them back. But some of the companies are going to keep that money because they're like, I paid for this, I'm going to keep it or I'm going to use it to boost my bottom line. But there's other companies, like a FedEx I actually saw, like UPS as well, who are actually going to refund all. Not all of it, but a lot of the money that they did end up taking from their customers before they started eating the cost. So when we were paying those tariffs, they're going to actually refund.

[Dustin Ross]

Good.

[Francesca]

And while that's great, it don't help you. I'm pissed because not only are you about to refund me the money that I had already paid and you claimed I didn't, but now I still have the stain on my fucking credit for the next seven years because you made a mistake. And it's most likely in the next seven year window where I'm going to be buying property, right? So I'm pissed about.

[Dustin Ross]

Over a fucking FedEx charge that is

[Francesca]

infuriate over us over a sweatsuit that I bought. That's the most angry part.

[Dustin Ross]

And then, you know, you think even further back to where it all comes from and it makes you even more upset.

[Asante]

Right.

[Francesca]

For his goofy ass. So I'm.

[Asante]

There has to be a way to get that remark removed or something.

[Francesca]

You can't. But I can explain it it at least.

[Asante]

Right?

[Francesca]

The only thing that'll save me is that overall my credit is pristine.

[Asante]

Right?

[Francesca]

So when they see that I'm hoping they're gonna be like, this doesn't really make sense.

[Asante]

Like hopefully there's literally a person that's gonna look at it and just be like, fedex stupid ass probably know.

[Francesca]

Hopefully they'll know that there's like, maybe because this is an era of those tariff and shipping issues that most people will know, you know, it'll be common. So.

[Asante]

Right.

[Francesca]

I don't know. But Victoria, I'm with you. That shit is annoying as fuck. And I'm still annoyed. Even when the UPS truck passes me. I just try not to roll my eyes. Ayanna said, dustin, this one really killed me.

[Dustin Ross]

Dustin, yes.

[Francesca]

Dallas doesn't have a city winery, but I live in the city and I have wine. Can you still come and tell jokes. And she had a bunch of comments

[Asante]

underneath, like, come over your house.

[Dustin Ross]

That's what's up. Well, hopefully I'll be back in Dallas soon. The last time I was there, I sold out the improv. So hopefully we do it again. You know what I'm saying? And let's stay tuned. But that is funny. And I believe your house is nice. Yeah.

[Francesca]

And then the last one is Love Autumn Dream. Who said, my landlord just switched to portal. I always paid with money orders and they explained there are no more in person payments. It's frustrating because it's fees for the online payments. Unless you do a mobile deposit. Hello. Taking a photo of a check. It's ridiculous. And I feel for those who don't have bank accounts. Isn't that stupid?

[Dustin Ross]

So fucked up.

[Francesca]

And I'm not tech savvy. I feel like it's going to cause more evictions and homelessness across America. These consolidations suck. And I'm with you. Like I said, I had to sit with my mom, walk her through all this portal shit. And I just. It just seems unfair to me. They just don't consider a lot of people when they are making these electronic changes. And I still haven't spoken to my. I told you, the project. The project. The house manager, he. I was talking to him because now he randomly texts me from a number out of nowhere. He randomly text me after I said that on the episode. I'm not saying he heard it or he was told, but I thought that that was interesting.

[Dustin Ross]

Yeah.

[Francesca]

And then. And then I said, what is this number? Bubbles were green. A number I've never seen before. I said, did you just Google number me

[Dustin Ross]

asking some questions, Some weird app or something.

[Asante]

Yeah.

[Francesca]

Just so strange. And when I tried to call the number, you can't call it. So it's like a text app. I don't know what the hell is going on. But anyways, why are you trying to

[Dustin Ross]

be crazy shrouded, you know what I'm saying? By all you know, why is this buffer now in place?

[Francesca]

There were some landlords that wrote in and some property owners that were like. A lot of the need for that buffer is because if you don't have one, the crazy people will literally. Yeah. They will literally be on your neck about the dumbest.

[Asante]

Now that makes sense.

[Francesca]

That they can fix themselves. Yeah. And so you have to. To create separation. And I do understand that, but I still think there needs to be an emergency line.

[Asante]

Right.

[Francesca]

Or something. You can't just completely remove your client's ability to to talk to you. I don't think that that's safe.

[Asante]

I'm still stuck on my check deposit

[Francesca]

like so I can't bring it to you but I need to send you a picture of it. What the is going on anyway Dustin, I don't know if you have a last tweet you would like to share.

[Dustin Ross]

Yeah, just one. So we all know how the current administration has wasted all this money with the reflecting pool in DC Payment blue My God. Today yeah speaking literally today is covered in green algae. So the whole pool is like stop. I promise to God in heaven. And by the Washington Monument the whole pool is covered in green algae and there are literally people in bright yellow vests that were contracted I guess by the government that are dumping gallon sized bottles of hydrogen peroxide into the the pool today. Here's where things get interesting. Dr. Michael O' Brien on Twitter. His Twitter handle is Dr. O', Brien, MD. He said y' all not to be a huge nerd but for the reflecting pool you would need a minimum of about 8,000 liters of 12% hydrogen peroxide to reach the 50 parts per million concentration to kill algae. Then he said he enters a space and then he says is this what happens when you have zero scientists in

[Francesca]

your administration, my lord.

[Dustin Ross]

So they and it's accompanied by video shout out to the Twitter account. Anonymous, you're a non news they always are keeping us abreast of the things we need to know. And you can literally see the people dumping this hydrogen peroxide into the reflecting pool and it looks stupid literally stupid to people who are aware and understand science and the calculations that that it would take to to solve what they think they're actually solving. So yeah, never look stupider. Smile bitch. You live in your dumb life. You ain't going back and forth to class nigger. But you need to because you don't know shit.

[Francesca]

These people are they probably dumping the ones you can go buy at CVS

[Dustin Ross]

equate like the one from Walmart. Equate.

[Francesca]

You know equate the brown bottle from

[Dustin Ross]

Rest in Peace to our target shopping days. But up and up from Target

[Asante]

the little arrow.

[Francesca]

Oh God that's embarrassing Anyway yeah dumb

[Dustin Ross]

just dumb as fuck.

[Francesca]

Dumb golly and such and so wasteful and let's not even people are in such need right now more than like

[Dustin Ross]

let's not even get on the the story surrounding the contract bid for that the no bid contract that went out for that work on the pool painted blue. Don't even get me Started, but let's. Let's just move on. I just wanted y' all know how dumb and stupid their asses are down in D.C. and how fucking dumb they look right now. Dumb.

[Asante]

Yes.

[Dustin Ross]

Dumb.

[Francesca]

On the bright side.

[Dustin Ross]

Okay.

[Pharmaceutical Announcer]

Yes.

[Asante]

Wow.

[Francesca]

The next one.

[Pharmaceutical Announcer]

Yay.

Hey.

[Asante]

Damn, New York.

[Dustin Ross]

I went deaf on a hey.

[Francesca]

I'm so happy for the city. And I'm so sad that I'm not there, because I know it must be

[Dustin Ross]

the city is on fire. Best of ways when they won, I was on the 67th floor. Shout out to one of my friends. I ain't gonna say his name on here, because we probably don't want that attention, but one of my friends had a party. Incredible black doctor in New York. We was on the 67th floor, hundreds of us, probably about 200 people watching the game.

[Francesca]

You want to talk about perfect timing?

[Dustin Ross]

We're literally on the roof. The DJ's in the corner. The buildings are all lit up blue and orange. And the city just erupted. I went downstairs. We were on. We were in. We were in Midtown. So I went downstairs and just started walking. I was, like, on 40th. And, like, I walked from all the way west, all the way east through, like.

[Francesca]

How was it?

[Asante]

Crazy.

[Dustin Ross]

People hugging at strangers.

[Francesca]

Yeah.

[Dustin Ross]

Now you have to check your pocket afterwards. Check your pocket before and after, but hugging strangers, you know, it was just an incredible, incredible feeling in the city. Everybody was so happy and full of love and hope, and it just felt humanity in a time where there's such an absence of humanity. Right. Everybody being on the same fucking page like that, it just really felt good. And so I purposely walked downstairs, and me and my friends was, like, walking, having a good time in the city. So it was great and just connecting.

[Francesca]

Oh, I know. That's so dope, electric out there. I love you, New York. Oh, congratulations to the Knicks and all the Knick fans who have been patiently waiting, Especially you, Spike Lee. I thought of you immediately.

[Dustin Ross]

One more shout out.

[Francesca]

You've been sitting front row my whole life.

[Dustin Ross]

He deserves it.

[Francesca]

So I know this must be, I mean, out of this world of an

[Dustin Ross]

experience, literally once in a lifetime for him, right? Because this shit ain't happening in 53 years, right?

[Francesca]

Hopefully not the last time, but, yeah,

[Asante]

it happened during Pride. No, I'm just kidding, right?

[Dustin Ross]

They did good handling a ball, you know? That's how you knew it was destined to happen, during Pride. But anyway, shout out to the layout in Brooklyn at Fort Green Park.

[Francesca]

That's another thing I'm sad I missed. Cause I love the layout.

[Dustin Ross]

I went on Sunday. I had such a good time. We all got so much love from people who really actually.

[Francesca]

Oh, that's really love. The Friends.

[Dustin Ross]

Yes.

[Francesca]

Just talking to people and sitting on their blankets.

[Dustin Ross]

So excited, man. Everybody's so excited. They're really looking forward to what they assume we have coming up. So you know what I'm saying? That's been.

[Francesca]

I like that you was like.

[Dustin Ross]

And that was cool. And I just want to give a huge shout out to Monroe Steel. I saw Monroe still at the layout. It was good to give her a hug and just catch up.

[Francesca]

I bet she looked cute. Of course, she always does.

[Dustin Ross]

100%. And she's just so. She's just this, y' all know, fly as hell. Fly.

[Francesca]

Yeah.

[Asante]

Yeah.

[Dustin Ross]

So I feel good to see her and give her some love in person. Shout out to Monroe Steele and everybody else that we saw at the layout.

[Francesca]

At the layout. So good. I love you, New York. I miss you. But that's it for our intro. Let's jump into this week's episode.

[Dustin Ross]

Welcome to the Friends. All right, so you guys know I've been shaving my head for a minute now, trying all different types of products and really trying to follow the advice of what I thought were trusted sources, people who would suggest different products, different methods. Don't shave up, shave down, shave against the grain, shave with the grain, shave to the left, two steps to the right. It was always a different sort of weird piece of advice for me to navigate, and I had to unlearn so many different tactics, so many habits, so many routines, because later on, I found out it just wasn't the right fit for my natural features. Okay. Once I finally found something that I am going to share with you all today that really did address my specific needs, I was so much happier, and I wanted to do nothing else but share with everybody else. Basking Leather. When it comes to things like dryness, growth, I use it for my beard hair, the hair on my beard, for it to be strong. It's a different approach that has actually worked for me. And it doesn't dry my hair out. It doesn't dry my skin out. It just really works for me. My body formula, so I feel like it'll work for you. Baskin Leather is hair care that has started with family love. And you feel it when you use those products. Right. When a dermatologist had actually misdiagnosed the CEO of Baskin Leather, Shayna's younger sister, and said that her hair wouldn't ever grow back, that's when the family actually decided to literally take things into their own hands. And Shayna and her mother researched and formulated their own scalp and hair oil that stimulated growth, retained length, all the things, and today her hair is down to her hips. You better believe they're rolling. So Baskin Leather's hydrating hair mask combines aloe vera and avocado oil to reduce frizz, treat dryness, detangle and redefine curls. And their stimulating scalp and hair balm nourishes and hydrates hair from the inside out with 100% natural ingredients that can penetrate hair strands without clogging pores. Now, when used regularly, users have definitely seen results in about three months. And that's very quick process. So you can explore viral bestsellers and products of healthier hair of all types from Baskin Leather. Go to baskinleather co.com and use code FRIEND for 20 off. That's 20 off at baskinleatherco.com code FRIEND

[Francesca]

the summer schedule can get busy really fast, right? With camps, vacations, sports and family time. I Excel, however, makes it easy to keep learning as part of the routine with just a few minutes a day. I Excel is an award winning online learning platform that helps kids truly understand what they're learning, whether they're building math confidence, strengthening reading and writing skills, or reviewing their science concepts. IXL is used in 96 out of the top 100 school districts in the US and studies show that kids who use IEXCEL score higher on tests and it's been proven in all 50 states. I know that during the summertime the kids just want to be outside or hopefully they do, or they want to be playing their video games on the phone with their friends, scrolling through their apps. And it might not be the easiest time trying to get them to stay sharp on their math, stay sharp on their reading and their studies overall. But like I Excel says, just a few minutes a day will make sure that when school starts in September, they're not looking at the screen like oh my God, just completely numbed out from summer. So I think it's worth checking out and it's worth incorporating into their day to day. So if you're interested, you can make an impact on your child's learning this summer by getting IXL now. And the Friend Zone listeners can get an exclusive 20% off IXL membership when they sign up today at ixl.com friendzone visit ixl.com friendzone to get the most effective learning program out there at the best price. Happy learning.

[Dustin Ross]

All right. You Guys know I love my outdoor space and this year I'm finally making the time to improve it the way that I really want to. And I feel like it needs to show my personality, you know, it needs to be a vibe just like me. So outdoor seating, grills, major appliances, storage for out there, lighting for the patio, rugs, decor. Wayfair is going to be my one stop shop for home decor for my patio. Now you can shop with Wayfair Verified, which is your shortcut to the good stuff. Their team of product specialists vet everything by hand and they use a 10 point inspection to do so. Testing things like the quality of the materials, functionality, features and even how long it takes for you to build. And that really helps during the buying process. And with over 20 million five star reviews, you can hear from real customers before you buy. Plus Wayfair deals with the hard part so you don't have to. Installation and assembly services are available for a truly seamless experience, which I know firsthand because I've used Wayfair multiple times for updates. You know, I love home decor. You know, having a nice, you know, you fix your house up, you know, it needs to be expressive of your personality. When people walk in the door. If there's one piece that I would tell somebody to buy right now for their outdoor furniture, if you're like me, it's the seating, something with a deep cushion. The point of being on an outdoor space is to relax and catch a vibe. So you need to be comfortable and slouchy. Patio access and patio season is here and these deals won't last. Head to Wayfair.com right now to get your outdoor space ready for way less. That's W a Y f a I r.com

[Francesca]

so our very good friend Wendy from the. Wendy, I was going to say from the Wendy and Jess brand. That is not their brand. That's just our friends. They sound like backups. Band members for Prince.

[Dustin Ross]

Yeah, Vanity too, right?

[Francesca]

From Food Heaven Made Easy as well as Diabetes Digital. We've had Give it up for our girls. Give it up for them, right, Wendy?

[Dustin Ross]

Matter of fact, bring back our girls.

[Francesca]

They're coming back. They're actually gonna come see us very soon. But they. Wendy of I keep wanting to say Wendy, you know, I'm going to just say Wendy and Jess. Wendy OF Wendy and Jess hit me and was talking to me about an incredible project that her husband and his best friend have put together and I was like, wait, tell me more. And basically they created a card game and it's a card Game designed to nurture the vulnerable conversations that they feel black and brown men should be having. So we've seen these card games before, right? You've seen them on the Cut. Do you. Did you ever see the cut on YouTube where they have, like. Like, exes.

[Asante]

Meaningful conversations?

[Francesca]

Yeah. You see, like, exes sitting across from each other, and they'll be, like, saying things that maybe they never got a chance to say or kind of revisit why they broke up and things that worked and didn't work, or they have parents speaking to no contact kids. You know, it's like a really raw way for people to connect. And then from that YouTube channel, they created card games so that viewers could kind of create exactly those moments and in their spaces. So I've always been a fan of these card games. Y' all know me. I think it's great to just whip them out.

[Dustin Ross]

Yeah. If I was on the show, though, like, if I was on the Cut, the first thing I would have said to the other person was, I wish your chair was electric.

[Francesca]

What? This is a very specific.

[Asante]

Damn. Okay,

[Francesca]

Damn.

[Asante]

Well, damn.

[Francesca]

But I've loved these cards,

[Dustin Ross]

Fran.

[Francesca]

You know why I'm laughing? Because I know they're listening.

[Dustin Ross]

Look, Buzz Lightyear, bitch. I know they're listening.

[Francesca]

That's what's making me laugh even harder. And so I'm a huge fan of these card games. A lot of companies since have kind of created, you know what? Funky Dineva. Actually, I saw. Did y' all see that? He has a really fun one. It's called, like, something confessions.

[Dustin Ross]

Yeah, Couch hurts.

[Francesca]

Couch confessions or something like that, right?

[Dustin Ross]

Shout out to funky Dyneva.

[Francesca]

Shout out to Funky Dyneva.

[Dustin Ross]

Hell yeah.

[Francesca]

Love you, bro. And so I'm a fan of these. So when she said that they created one that's specifically designed for men and specifically designed for black and brown men, I was like, I'm sold. She sent me the cards. I had an opportunity to look through them, and I do want to shout out. Her husband's name is Gabe, and his friend is Kat. And they are the ones that created the yougood brand.com. so the cars are called you good. And you can check out their [e-mail] they have t shirts. They have all kinds of really cool accessories that can come along with the decks of car with the deck of cards. And the deck comes with six 60 cards. And what I appreciate about the cards, too, is the way that they have separated them into different sections. Right. They have unseen burdens. They have real love Mental wealth, brotherhood bonds, and generational threads. So I looked through them, like I mentioned earlier, 60 cards, and I thought threads was new. And I thought that I could ask you guys some of the questions and focus on you guys on this episode. As my brothers, as men, we have a lot of male listeners, and I just think that this is a really great way to connect with you guys. Last month was actually Mental Health Awareness Month. This month is Pride. I mean, they're all.

[Asante]

Well, who the hell is that for?

[Francesca]

What a. What better time to celebrate you two black kids?

[Asante]

Oh.

[Dustin Ross]

Oh, man.

[Asante]

Amazing.

[Dustin Ross]

Damn, man.

[Francesca]

The first one is, why are you gay?

[Dustin Ross]

Why are you gay? How you gonna ask me a question like that?

[Asante]

Well, see, I was younger.

[Francesca]

That's one of the wild cards that comes off the deck.

[Asante]

Wild.

[Dustin Ross]

No, that's actually a draw, too. No,

[Francesca]

reverse. Reverse.

[Dustin Ross]

Actually, skip

[Asante]

wild card. I would like to. Please.

[Francesca]

I would like to change. Oh, y' all got me tearing. I love that.

[Asante]

Okay, y' all are insane.

[Francesca]

I knew you're not gonna kick out. Yeah.

[Asante]

Yes.

[Francesca]

I can't even.

[Asante]

All right, Recover.

[Francesca]

All right, so we'll start light. We'll start light. Because these.

[Asante]

Please.

[Francesca]

Not everything's gonna sound like a gay joke. I'll say these. You know what?

[Asante]

And then she said, we just gonna start light.

[Francesca]

Why we starting light?

[Dustin Ross]

Why it's gotta be light?

[Asante]

He's trying to say twinkle toes. Light on.

[Francesca]

Ooh, Twinkle told me a cute name for this. What is he like, not. They said it. It wasn't me.

[Asante]

It should be the name of the episode. See how she just do that, right?

[Pharmaceutical Announcer]

You know what?

[Asante]

Let's play the game friend. You having too much fun already. Damn.

[Francesca]

Okay, okay. All right. How was your friend? All right, we are going to have a serious conversation. Ready?

[Asante]

No, but let's.

[Francesca]

How would your friends describe the role that you bring to your friend group? And I know you guys have varying, various. I should say friend groups, but what role do you think you bring to those friend groups? Anyone who wants to start.

[Asante]

I try to be the person that brings lightness to the friend group. You know, whether it's lightness and connection, whether it's connecting to me or connecting to other people. You know, like. And within our friend group, I like to connect with everybody. Whether it's something that's going to make us feel comfortable, whether we're laughing or in our feelings, or I like to connect other people that I feel like either have the same, like. Like, energy signatures. Like, I just be like, you would Like, I'm not like a friend Matchmaker. But nothing makes me happier than like helping my friends or not helping my friends, but like being part of friends, connecting with other friends. I don't know why, like, that's so weird, but I like just connecting and bringing. I like bringing solutions as much as possible. I like being a problem solver. Now this, I'm not saying this always look like this, but. Or it looks like that, but I just like things to flow. So let it flow. Let's have fun. Let's have a good time.

[Francesca]

I could see that.

[Asante]

Right?

[Francesca]

I can see that.

[Asante]

Probably wouldn't be how you answered, but

[Dustin Ross]

yeah. So I bring a balance of fun and being dead ass serious to my friendships, right? Like, I'm the friend that we are going to have a good ass time. We gonna laugh and we gonna create joy together and we're also going to be so real with each other that we gonna trust each other and we can be 100% real and serious.

[Francesca]

I love that.

[Dustin Ross]

So, like, if we go on, that to me, covers all our needs, right? Cause we can, we can get on a level. We could talk our way through shit. We can help each other. You know what I'm saying? Talk about personal shit. Y'. All. All of my friends know I'm a fucking locked vault. I do not tell no secrets. Y' all know that very well. And never will I underdo that, get mad and tell shit. I just. It's done. You know what I'm saying? And so because of that, I've been blessed, I feel, to connect on a deep level with all of my close friends. I got a bunch of friends that we call each other best friends because we are. You don't have to have just one best friend, you know what I'm saying? And I pride myself on that because I wasn't encouraged to have friends outside of my immediate circle when I was growing up for reasons. And so as an adult, I'm so grateful to have found that sort of like camaraderie and kinship, you know what I'm saying? With my friends, female friends, male friends, whatever. I have a lot of friends that are really actually for real. For real, my friends. And it's because we cherish and nurture the bond. And so I like being able to make my friends have a good time, make them feel welcome in my space, make my friends feel completely seen and bring joy to their life because they do it for me.

[Francesca]

So, yep, I was gonna say I'm a witness to that. We've shared some of the worst moments in the past couple Years together, so. You're absolutely right.

[Dustin Ross]

And look what moments.

[Francesca]

Okay. Right.

[Dustin Ross]

Oh, my mama, I'm gonna die. I told you I'm gonna die with my fist piss ball up. Because I'm sticking to it until I. You know what I'm saying? You ain't getting out of me. Because that's what friendship is all about. To me, it's about deciding to be good people to each other in a world full of. You can't trust, you can't lean on, you can't even be vulnerable with. When you decide to be friends with each other, it's agreeing to be that for each other and being a literal. Even though it's completely over. You used a safe space. Otherwise we could just be cool and say hey and bye, maybe fuck, I

[Francesca]

don't know, and hang out.

[Dustin Ross]

Yeah, but we don't have to actually invest energy emotionally. That's reserved for your friends. And I have a high value placed on that in my life. My friends mean the world to me, so I just want them to feel like that. Yeah.

[Francesca]

Let's focus on your male friendships, right. For this question. What do you feel?

[Dustin Ross]

I always do.

[Francesca]

You know what? No, not, not those. What do you need most from your male friendships right now with what you're going through in life?

[Asante]

Help. Moving. No, I mean real.

[Dustin Ross]

Yeah. I need trust. That's what I need the most. Because right now, my, my, my. I got a lot of things on my plate, a lot of things that require a lot of my focus. And literally I'm a. I might be a three hour friend, you know what I'm saying? So I need my friends to trust. And it's not like I'm crazy busy, all this shit to do, but I'm busy. You know what I mean?

[Pharmaceutical Announcer]

Yeah.

[Asante]

Right.

[Dustin Ross]

And so you. I need male friends, right? I need my male friends to trust that even though I can't do everything all the time, I'm not devaluing our friendship. Just trust me, you know what I'm saying? Like, I might not be able to go kick it and do this, whatever. And I have beautiful friends that do trust me. I have friends that. We have very different interests, we do different shit, but we trust the bond. So that's the kind of trust I'm referring to specifically, just trusting the bond so we could make it through everything. That's it.

[Francesca]

Asante.

[Asante]

I'm gonna actually piggyback off of Dustin and then turn it into a cliche because I need understanding, even if the understanding is that we don't understand each other. Because I feel like sometimes with some of my male friends, it's like, all right, I don't know what that means, so I'm not gonna deal with. It's like, it would be cool if it was like, all right, I'm not really understanding what's happening. Not necessarily. Let's figure, like, you know, let's figure it out together. Because I feel like I'm very understanding, or I try to be. I try to be very understanding and try to put myself on both sides and be like, all right, I understand what went wrong here.

[Dustin Ross]

So people could even tell you all friends matter.

[Asante]

Yes.

[Dustin Ross]

Okay.

[Asante]

Like, look, y' all see how I am with strangers? Like, there's always this understanding, right? Like, quick exchange. We having fun. We know each other. No, we don't. Bye. It's like, great. There's an understanding there.

[Dustin Ross]

You beat the shit out of somebody will meet the hell out of him.

[Asante]

I mean, literally, it'll be like a

[Francesca]

hardest, like, and be besties, and it'd

[Dustin Ross]

be actually cool people. For real.

[Francesca]

Yeah.

[Asante]

Yeah, Literally, it'll be some really cool people. It'll be like, wow. Like, that's actually like, he does what Justin. Even in the smoke room, right? We would meet some random cool people there.

[Francesca]

Like, Buddha, we miss you.

[Dustin Ross]

Who is Buddha? The damn thing. Shout out to Buddha. Buddha the future on Instagram. B U D A D a future producing his ass off. He's credited on everybody's shit. He's on a run right now, legally, I mean, on a run of good production moments. You know what I'm saying? Shot. And it's so good. It makes me feel so good to see that. Shout out to him. And shout out to our girl Avion, too.

[Francesca]

Oh, Avion doing her thing.

[Dustin Ross]

Love perfection. Hell, yeah. Yeah, I love seeing that. We was in the gym, okay. Trenches together on a busted couch.

[Asante]

Oh, my God.

[Dustin Ross]

I'm about to run around this room, I'm telling y'. All. And shout out to Buddha. And shout out to Aviana. Everybody, everybody.

[Asante]

Y' all don't even know. I've randomly seen Buddha in Chicago, and we just had a cool ass time. So just shout out to Buddha everything.

[Dustin Ross]

Yeah, he gets.

[Asante]

He deserves, like, tenfold, like, from the health of his child. Kids. Like, more kids, more life. Like, you know, Buddha deserves everything, but

[Dustin Ross]

they clean you, too. We love you a king.

[Asante]

But, like, these are everybody.

[Dustin Ross]

All of them.

[Asante]

Everybody, all of them. But, like, understanding runs deep with even those people. And Buddha was a great example because Buddha was somebody I didn't really know, but we Just kind of understood that we was just cool. We just vibing. And then next thing you know, his wife was texting me at one point, like, we were just so cool. And I like when people can just understand each other in a moment. Like, all right, like we are having fun together or now we getting serious or, you know, like, even to your point about trust, like, all right, now I need a break. So, all right, this. He needs a break. So let me, you know, just be doing what I'm doing. And when he called, we'll come back together and have a cool last time. Like, just understanding is always so fire.

[Francesca]

Like if you can someone that knows how to adjust to where you are emotionally.

[Asante]

Yes, I get that.

[Francesca]

And that's rare. People take it personal, you know, if you're not as accessible to them.

[Dustin Ross]

And men don't show emotion. So they'll be mad at you, your friend will be mad at you and not say nothing to you about it. I'm guilty of it. I've had feelings about shit and been like, d, you ain't even like that. Figure it out. You know what I'm saying? Instead of being like, yo, imposing the questions that need to be asked, right? So that's another hurdle that we face in male friendships. Really, you know what I'm saying is emotional awareness in general, or even willing to be emotional with each other type shit. It gets deep.

[Asante]

It gets deep.

[Francesca]

One of the questions, actually, well, asante, are you done? I don't want to cut you off.

[Asante]

I just love the fact that you're doing this now. Because I always think about the friend groups or non existence of friend groups or the people struggling to find friend groups or friends in Charlotte. Like, I see some of the discourse on threads of people being like, there's nothing to do in Charlotte, or why are people this way? Or why do I have a hard time making friends? And then it's funny to see some of those conversations be about like, I moved here from New York and you know, I'm having the same experience or, you know, I've lived in Charlotte all my life and, you know, there's plenty to do and there's plenty of people. Y' all just don't get outside. So this is great. I feel like someone might find something from this to either help them work something out with someone or, you know, go out there and find some people.

[Francesca]

Let's continue.

[Asante]

Frame. Next question.

[Francesca]

Well, no, you guys kind of tapped into one of the questions that was in the card where it was asking, how do you model vulnerability for the men in your life, right? Because I think even you saying the reflex to be like, keep it in and not say anything, like, just tighten up or feel like that's what we would say to ourselves, tighten up. But then you realize, okay, but I should maybe share this, though, because if I wanted to change, you know, if I want our connection to strengthen and evolve, I should share that. I feel away about this, right? That's the only way for your connections to get stronger. So do you feel that you've been. You said you've been working on that, so what does that look like for the both of you? Are you modeling vulnerability? Or is it something that you see still are figuring out with your male friendship specifically?

[Dustin Ross]

It's tricky, right? Because like, okay, like, fortunately, me and my brother are friends. You know what I'm saying? Me and Damon are friends. He's the person, and I'm definitely this for him. We be 100%. Like, probably too much, but we be like 100% in the moment, in the thought, in the feeling and whatever. So ain't never been a time where it's some water under the bridge or. Or we'll hang up on each other and just call each other in 20 minutes and keep talking like, you know what I'm saying? Completely.

[Asante]

Fuck you, bitch.

[Dustin Ross]

Hang up the phone and then pick it up. And it's not an argument or nothing. We just. We're like that. So thankfully, I have that as a base kind of. But I also don't want no friend that's always got a goddamn problem, right? So sometimes. So you have to find the line of managing your thoughts, managing your feelings, right? And not doing too much. Every issue does not have to be raised. Everything ain't an issue. Some things are just thoughts and feelings, and once you spend some time with them, you realize that wasn't even a thing. And I don't even have to make it one by sharing it. So you have to do a little bit of work to find the balance of not getting on your friend's nerves, right? With constant issues and problem. Don't nobody want that wet blanket ass, motherfucking, shitty diaper ass, sagging diaper friend. Don't nobody want that. You know what I'm saying? But also being able to stand up for yourself in a way, but where it looks like you expressing when you have an issue that you really do need to talk to them about so that y' all can find clarity and really get back to the camaraderie that, you know what I'm Saying makes real friendship what it is. So it's finding that balance. Cause don't call me with shit. Nah, I love you. So I'm a listen. But I don't want to hear that. I'm already stressed out. I just told y' all about something. Something was stressing me out. You think I want to hear? I don't like the way you breathed when I told you what happened the other day. I don't want to hear that shit. So you gotta, you gotta do the work.

[Francesca]

That's right. Know the balance. Asante.

[Asante]

Yeah, it's hard to figure it out. It's all. It's almost a dangerous game. Because me, I'm a very. I'm a very emotional, I'm a very feelings based person. And so I don't share all of my feelings. What I usually do is I try to get. Receive input from others, like their feelings and engage if there is a spot or place for me to share sometimes. And if it's friends, there always is, right? Like there are just certain people, there's just certain male friends that I have that. All right, we talking. It's a conversation. What's going. Like, even Dustin's a great example. What's going on? Like, he, like, he wants to know. So if he wants to know, my bad.

[Dustin Ross]

I don't mean.

[Asante]

No, no, no, go ahead. No, no, no, no, no, it's. No, this is, this is great because you actually want to know. Like, you don't want the dressed up version. Like you want to know because you want to help. And that's a beautiful thing. Some people are like, oh, what's going on? And then you get to talking. It's like. And so you're just like, yeah, so I'm actually saying bullshit because I know you're not listening. And they're like, huh? And it's like, nothing. What's going on with you, man? I had a crazy ass day. And it's like, oh, so you think I'm gonna listen to you now? Wow. No, like, that's so common too, right? It's so common, but it's also like gauging those things kind of early on to see, like, all right, what type of exchange is this going to be? Like, all right, well, this is only going to be my fun friend then. Or this is only going to like. So then to be like, okay, so this is the person that likes being vulnerable. Okay, cool, I could be vulnerable with this friend. And then to Dustin's point, like, oh, they are too vulnerable. Like, how can we Reel this back. Or how can we help them? Because we are friends. We are friends.

[Francesca]

So, you know, so for you, you would view that as if. If a friend came, like, with the diaper, as Dustin is saying,

[Asante]

I am not. I would not.

[Francesca]

You would be like, okay, let's figure out why you're feeling so strong.

[Asante]

Like. Like, hey, I'm out. Like, you know, if. If I have talked to you four or five times, and you tell me four or five times that you hate your job, all right, you know, it's common. So unfortunately, you know, I'm actually gonna get that for the rest of the friendship, Right? But if it's four to five times a day, it's like, hey, you know, I realize you really ain't fucking with this job. Like, you know, is it because you need a raise? You need to work for a different position? Do you want to do a different job? Like, what can we do? Do you just need to eat regularly? Like, we need to go to the grocery store? Like, if we can just figure out that one point, then it's like, all right, now they going to work every day. They getting paid. They, you know, making enough money to where they can go out to the club. And now when we call, they can always just, you know, have jokes, or we can have regular conversations, or they can accept listening to my feelings about me dumping about a nigga I'm not going to care about in a few months. Like, great. Like, now we can. We've reached a baseline. We've. There's an alchemy to friendships. Some friendships, you know, might not be worth it. Some is like, all right, maybe just ghost, because you're actually not listening. Anytime I do give you any advice or you're just. Or you know that I'm the friend that you don't, you know, you want me to listen, but you only want me to listen all the time. I really have to go. You're actually not even gonna miss me. You just wanted something to talk to. So go talk to. To the wall.

[Dustin Ross]

And we're friends. So guess what? Don't say nothing else to me about your job. Every time you say something and I tell your ass what to do, you. You know you ain't gonna do it. Don't say else to me about Stellantis or wherever.

[Asante]

They were friends. So look, now, no, I know Dustin don't care about the job, but I also know that Dustin, if I actually

[Dustin Ross]

heard what I said.

[Asante]

But because we're friends, I know that Dustin, if I really came back one day, look, If I waited two, three months and I came back and was like, dog, they up in here, right? A came in there with a gun or some, then he gonna hear about that.

[Dustin Ross]

And I wouldn't even say I told you so. I don't say that. I'm not one of them friends either. I never say I told you so. I'm not that person.

[Asante]

No, I was gonna say I don't

[Dustin Ross]

do that unless you ask.

[Asante]

I was gonna say. Then you would say, are you okay? And then we would laugh about it if you. Cuz you would get distract me, you know, like it would be a great exchange. Like. Like we. That's the informational exchange. But not everybody gets there or does that. So it's kind of hard to figure out like eh. Because everybody has something going on.

[Francesca]

And that's what's tricky too about friendships. Because Dustin don't want the diaper, Asante's willing to work with the diaper. And then if you're a friend trying

[Asante]

to figure out, I'm gonna try to help change it.

[Francesca]

No, but you know what I mean, like that's what makes friendships tricky. It's like there's that person that don't. That's not gonna hear all that. And there's a person that might. But you're over here trying to gauge it as you start developing these friendships and kind of knowing, like you said Asante, where you kind of see where there's a spot for you or how that spot fits, you know, I think that's the trick with trying to build out these communities. I am curious. When did a friend show up for you in a way that you'll never forget? Man,

[Dustin Ross]

so many times. I remember when I got into my car accident back in 2005 and I woke up, up and my best friend Jasmine, y' all know Jasmine, shout out

[Francesca]

to Jasmine, Hey, Jasmine.

[Dustin Ross]

She was sitting right next to the bed. Her and Daria was right next to the bed. Damon was in the front door like this, doing just like this. Them niggas was right there. That's one time, honestly, the loss of Frank and Neff. All my friends showed up. My friend Pharaoh Micah. So many people sending flowers, food. Jade cooked for me.

[Francesca]

Jade, I remember that. And sent it to your house.

[Dustin Ross]

She came over and I told Jade, I'm talking about in the. In the bowel. Deep bowels of grief. I told Jay, God damn, these are the most expensive short ribs I ever had. Somebody had to die to get you

[Asante]

over here with some short ribs.

[Francesca]

You would, you would.

[Dustin Ross]

We had tears in our face from laughing. But I needed that. Crystal.

[Francesca]

Yeah.

[Dustin Ross]

Crystal. Crystal. Crystal. Crystal. Right the fuck there. No questions asked. Crystal. Don't even go nowhere and fuck with nobody. But the minute that I lost my friend, she was at my house.

[Francesca]

Yeah.

[Dustin Ross]

You understand what I'm saying? So my friends show up and I try my best to show up for all my friends, no matter how big or how small. I try my best to be a good listener. That's why we are friends, to be that for each other. So I have so many things, times that I'm forever grateful for my friends for showing up for me.

[Francesca]

Amen. Asante.

[Asante]

Too many to count.

[Francesca]

That's a good thing.

[Asante]

It's a great thing. It's an amazing thing. One of them. Dustin, that birthday. Oh my God.

[Francesca]

Atlanta, I was gonna say, which one?

[Asante]

First of all, all my birthdays, I've had some really, really great birthdays and great friend moments. But actually, you know what? I want to just take this time, even though I know this question is about me and friends in general. Crystal. Because Dustin, Crystal is just an A1 top tier friend on my mind, like the bestest of human people. Like, like the. Like, I remember the first time I met her, we argued and so the fact that from that flowered same flowered a beautiful, beautiful relationship. Yeah. The first time I met her, she opened the door, rolled her eyes at me. And so from there we was tussling all night. Like we was going back and forth and she was like, I don't even know this. And I'm like, well, girl, so why are you on your eyes at me and you don't know same? And why are you opening up the door to somebody's house that you don't know? Like it was the whole thing.

[Dustin Ross]

And I wish a would try her today.

[Asante]

Today when I tell you I would

[Dustin Ross]

use my bare motherfucking hands about Crystal. Yeah, I don't play no games about her.

[Asante]

So.

[Dustin Ross]

Yep, yep.

[Asante]

Crystal has so many moments in so many different ways and to this day cares about me. So like I said, if I ever got somebody's name tattooed on me because y' all know I ain't got no tattoos, Crystal would probably be who I got tatted on me.

[Francesca]

Oh my gosh.

[Asante]

Just because she's crying, she hold me down so hard. I was like, if I. Well, I'm not doing it just because I don't have to, but if she ever calls that chip in, which I know she never would.

[Dustin Ross]

She's a good friend. She's an incredible.

[Asante]

I mean, like they just don't make them like Crystal for real, like, she own business.

[Dustin Ross]

But when nurturing, like friend is to nurturing. You know what I'm saying? Just good friends.

[Francesca]

Yeah.

[Dustin Ross]

All my female friends. Friends know how to be friends to me. And I appreciate that. You know exactly what I mean. You know exactly how to be my friend. You know what I'm saying? You know where you need to tap my shoulder and shit. And I just appreciate that immensely. So, yes, yes, I will kill you about Crystal. Jean, stop playing with me.

[Asante]

And you too, friend.

[Dustin Ross]

You know I praise your go without saying please.

[Asante]

You know, you ain't forgot, friend. We will never forget the great Francesca, okay? Never ever.

[Francesca]

I love y'.

[Dustin Ross]

All.

[Asante]

So the things that you. The thing, the beauty you have opened up and shown me in my heart and given me and presented me with and, like, just everything. Fran, I don't want to talk because I feel like I be getting emotional when I do this stuff. But, like, Fran, you know I love you and Chris.

[Francesca]

Y' all know y' all are the siblings I've never had.

[Dustin Ross]

Yup.

[Francesca]

Thank you for sharing that, though. I want to talk about the men in your life, Right. What's a talk that the men in your life needed but never had

[Dustin Ross]

to have with us or for us to have with them?

[Francesca]

However you say, or that I think

[Dustin Ross]

they should have had.

[Francesca]

That they should have had, I would assume.

[Dustin Ross]

Ooh.

[Francesca]

When you think of the men in

[Dustin Ross]

you, how can I answer this without telling too much of my business?

[Francesca]

Right, Right.

[Dustin Ross]

You know what? Ooh.

[Asante]

So you are trying to make me emotional.

[Dustin Ross]

Ooh. Hey. I just feel like. Ooh.

[Francesca]

That's why I was like, these cars.

[Dustin Ross]

Good.

[Francesca]

Y' all did good.

[Dustin Ross]

Gabe and Kat, I wish somebody would have told me, right back in the day, like, I just wish somebody would have told me, like, you don't even have to try to wrestle with anything internally. All you have to do, Dustin, is just. Cause I'm just gonna focus in on me instead of. Of reading everybody to pieces, right? I just focus on me. I wish somebody would have just told me, like, Dustin, you don't have to wrestle with none of that internal shit. Things are going to be what they are, and it's possible for you to have a completely fulfilled life with all of the elements that are present in your life right now in you. You know what I'm saying? I wish I would have never felt like it was a battle or a struggle or anything I had to wrestle with, because if acceptance would have been presented as an option and if Understanding would have been taught and then presented as an option I would have saved. I'd be 15 years ahead in my life in every way.

[Francesca]

Right?

[Dustin Ross]

And that's something that I had to swallow and struggle down to accept, you know what I'm saying? Like, I would be that much ahead. But because I had to learn all of that shit in real time and adjust in real time, I had to do it in real time. And so I lost time. And that's okay because we all have our stories and it happens the way it happens for everybody. That's just literally the way that it happened for me because I didn't have any foundation in that way, in that way to start from.

[Francesca]

I had to build a life on. Yeah. Yeah.

[Dustin Ross]

So that distracted me for years, you know what I'm saying? In its own way. And I just wish that I would have had that.

[Francesca]

So that's all important, too, for people listening that are currently raising children too, Right. The ways that your life will impact, you know, your thoughts and how you move to the world. Asante.

[Asante]

I wish I would have been told when I was younger, and I wish we discussed more about. I wish more conversations were sincere, centered around how there's not one way to do something. When it comes to. When I think of manhood and men in particular, when you're raised, you know, you're taught you have to do XYZ to be a man, but you're not. But not everybody receives the same information. So then whatever this baseline is that exists whenever people meet different versions of what they feel like a man is, they're met with, like, they bump heads as opposed to. Again, back to the understanding piece, Right? Like, I feel like instead of trying to understand, like, all right, you know, like, I feel like, you know, my manhood calls for me to be financially stable and be able to take care of, you know, xyz and someone's like. Which it does, right? But imagine someone comes along and they're like, well, mine is to just be a good person and work as hard as possible. Which is why I became, you know, so successful at business and got me a great wife that I care about and listen to. Like, you know, there are just different ways to get, you know, to some of the same things, but there are different ways to also make yourself more successful, if you will. So the way that, you know, we all talk about representation on television and seeing ourselves, I feel like men kind of were like, hey, just because you don't see it doesn't mean it doesn't exist, right? Like, you know, you have to be the one to bring forth what you want, you know, create your own path. But, you know, there are these foundational pieces, whether it is financial or schooling or art or, you know, the abstract act. Go full in. But I. I just didn't real. Like, I didn't feel like I received the messaging appropriately when I was younger. I feel like I was being taught, like, you know, there's just this one path, and you're supposed to take it. And I kind of stumbled along trying to get to that one path when my interests were in other areas. And then when you. You're there, people are looking at you like, damn, I didn't know that you could even do that. And it's like, yeah, things were different, you know, 10, 20, 30 years ago. It's like, it's crazy to think about how the time change, and it makes people's perspectives change. So then people have to. They're not now, like, okay, you've established yourself. This is real. That's cool. Like, you did something that, when I first saw it, I didn't think was even real. And I think if people believe in themselves a little bit more because they knew that everything is in one way, it would create so many more stronger, but also empathetic people.

[Francesca]

Right? And, I mean, you're modeling that, Right? You completely carved out something your parents probably never would have imagined. Like, look what we do, Right?

[Asante]

Yes.

[Francesca]

I'm curious about the older men in your life. Dustin Frost. That was for Patreon.

[Asante]

I'm sorry. I had.

[Dustin Ross]

We needed levity. I'm sorry.

[Francesca]

I know everyone watching on their TV just went

[Dustin Ross]

like.

[Asante]

Imagine you walking by, listening, and you look over, you see that

[Francesca]

when you think of the men in your life with some wisdom that an older man has imparted that either changed your life or you just never forgotten.

[Dustin Ross]

Yeah. Shout out to my Uncle Laverne that just died. He told me to never shave my balls or cut my ass hair off.

[Francesca]

Okay.

[Dustin Ross]

He told me that. I'll never forget that shit. We was in. They was buying towels.

[Francesca]

How did y'. All. Okay.

[Dustin Ross]

We was in the mall. We was in the mall. My mama and my Aunt Carolyn, Rest in peace. They was buying towels, and me and Laverne and my cousin Andre and I think my dad was with us then, too. I can't remember, though. But I remember him telling us, don't ever do that. I don't remember what they were talking about, but I remember him being like, don't. Don't ever do that. Don't ever cut your hair off? Your balls and your ass? Don't ever cut your hair off down there. Grow back. It hurts. I was like, damn. And I've always been. I think that's why I don't like like that. Well, this is my show. Fuck it. We can say whatever you want to say. A lot of gay guys be like, cutting all their pubic hair off and shit. And I like a little, you know, we got to go to Netbush city limits, you know what I'm saying? I like a little bush, you know what I'm saying? Come on. Yeah, you gotta have a little hair down there. You know what I'm saying? We are adults, you know? And so I. Yeah, so like.

[Asante]

But I think pricklies.

[Dustin Ross]

I don't even drink a prickly pear. I don't drink nothing. Margarita, none of that. But. But I. So I think that because of that, I've literally never. I've shaved my head up. Shave up top, not downtown.

[Asante]

So.

[Dustin Ross]

Because of that, I never did it. I never did. And I never forget that. God rest his soul. And they have continued his legacy as an artist. He is a globally recognized, world class black artist. If you go on Instagram to I think it's L. Ross legacy, because his name is Laverne Ross, you can see where they're continuing his legacy. When I shared that he had passed away, so many people hit me up, showing me, like, his artwork in their homes.

[Francesca]

Remember, we had a listener. Yes. Share that. They had a piece from y'.

[Asante]

All.

[Dustin Ross]

So the piece that I got from him was don't never cut your hair off down there. And I'll never forget him telling us that.

[Asante]

Wow.

[Dustin Ross]

True story.

[Asante]

Okay.

[Dustin Ross]

Yeah.

[Asante]

Not so much as when I was younger, but when I lived in New York and I worked at one of the first restaurants I worked at when I moved to New York, there was a manager. Rest his soul. Rashard, shout out to you. Rashard. Rashard. He was one of the first, like, older black gay men that I met in New York. And he was like. He was like that father figure, you know what I'm saying? He was in architecture and photography. And we would go on these city walks and he would tell me about the buildings and tell me about the city. He would loan me cameras from time to time. He was just really, really, really, really, like a beautiful, great, amazing person. But when you first met him, he was like an asshole. So it was so funny because I remember being like this kind of scary, but I don't give a. Like, because, you know, when approved you can tell. But people. But, you know, he had that effect on people. But also everybody loved him, though. Oh, Rashard, we love you. And so, like, I grew to love him too, just like that. So he was a beautiful person. But when I will never forget, one time we were talking and I asked him for advice, I was like, what's just something that you would tell someone, you know, first moving to New York? And he was like, outside of moving to New York, I just want to tell you this. Like, he. He just said it to me. He was like, I want to impart this on you. He's like, always be kind to people because you're a beautiful soul. Always be kind to people. He was like, always be kind to people. Do everything at least once. He said, do everything at least once. And if you think you might need to go back, try it again twice, and if you're done with it, fine. But if you find something you love, you found something you love. And he was like, always try. He. He always told me to always try and always just go for it. And so Rashard was one of those people that just. He. He was. He's just the embodiment, or was the embodiment. Oh, my God. Of strength, but also, like, kindness and art and knowledge and power. Like, I loved him. I love that man. So that right there. And when I think of, like, just brotherhood and.

[Francesca]

And.

[Asante]

And mentorship and all those things, like, that is a model right there.

[Dustin Ross]

Man, I'm so glad I'm gay. Shout out to him. I'm glad I'm gay. I'm glad I'm getting old, too. You know, it's just torture, you know what I'm saying?

[Francesca]

Yeah.

[Asante]

He told me when he was younger the job that he had and how to allowed him to travel. And he was like, yeah, I was traveling at 22. By 25, I was on my own franchise. And like, he just had a whole bunch of stuff going on and just had such great information. And he was like, he wasn't from New York, but he was a New Yorker. So it was just like, okay, yes.

[Francesca]

What about younger men or people? Is there wisdom that's been imparted from someone younger in your life? Because I think we don't always take time to acknowledge and appreciate what we learn from people younger than us.

[Dustin Ross]

Yes, absolutely. So one of my best friends is Dr. Zack Brown.

[Francesca]

He.

[Dustin Ross]

Zach and I. Zach is 10 years younger than me, actually. No, Zach is 12 years younger than me. And me and Zach are so much alike in all the right and wrong ways. And Zach, really be on me. Like, d, you need to come out. Come here, come out. Do this. People need. You need to be around. And he reminds me of Frank in that way because Frank used to be like that. Like, Dustin, fuck that. Everybody need to know the way I know you know what I'm saying? And he just encourages me to be more social. We talk about deep things and he gives me great advice. Even though he's younger than me. He's got a very unique life and a unique story, and he understands things on a level that allows us to relate in maturity. And I thank God for that because he is younger than me, but we have a beautiful friendship and he gives me a lot of good advice. And I was not looking for no new friends. And we did not like each other at first, and we ended up sharing an Uber. And he shared a story about his work at the hospital that made me have a reaction. And the way I reacted, we just never looked back. We became, like, completely loved.

[Francesca]

I love him.

[Dustin Ross]

I love him. I was not looking for anything. No new friends, but he is literally one of my best friends. For real. And I'll be listening to that.

[Asante]

You know what I'm saying? Because he's smart.

[Francesca]

Yeah.

[Dustin Ross]

So anyway, just him, like, I get. I get a lot of great advice from him and I'm grateful to have that landing spot. You know what I'm saying?

[Pharmaceutical Announcer]

Yeah.

[Dustin Ross]

That was unexpected. Right at this bloom of my life.

[Francesca]

Right, right. I love that. Asante

[Asante]

younger friends that have given greatest

[Francesca]

advice to me, just something they said, anything.

[Asante]

I know. I'm trying to think of, like, that one thing that, like, really stuck out because it's really more so, like, not the advice, but, like, it's like, the actions.

[Francesca]

Yeah.

[Asante]

I think it's interesting when I see, like, the younger generation because I have a friend. He says that he always. He always goes to visit his friend just to. Just to see him, like, check up on him. And I think that that's so dope. Like, I feel like people don't just talk about that enough or do it enough. I think we watched. I grew up, like, watching the sitcoms where people would just show up at people's houses. But my. I have a friend that's younger. And he was like, no, you just gotta show up on people. Like you. You just show up on an ounce. And I was like, I wouldn't do that because, you know, we're older. Right. Like, I'm not doing that.

[Francesca]

Right.

[Asante]

But for. But for the type of friends that he has, that's cool to do. He was like. He was like, you know, you're lucky I don't live in your city. I would just show up to your crib too. And in my mind, I'm lucky. Or you.

[Francesca]

I would ring.

[Asante]

This is Stan. I have a ring too. Girl, like you're not. Look, and once, and once I see

[Dustin Ross]

that leave your booty, leave your booty, leave not shake, leave.

[Asante]

I'm going into the other room. Okay, Look, I ain't gonna hear the door in this room. So I'm gonna just go over here.

[Dustin Ross]

Now, I have a lot of company, my friend. Y' all know my house is like that. My friends come over. Yeah, we kick.

[Francesca]

You're the spot. Absolutely.

[Asante]

But, but, but it's a setup. It's a thing, right? But I think that there's something. I think there's something endearing to that, right? Like they're comfortable enough, or you're. Or you even being comfortable enough to do that. Like, that's beautiful. Like, I'm like, wow.

[Francesca]

And you know, your friends, you know the ones that you can pop in, because they would actually really appreciate that. And your friends that don't appreciate, appreciate that.

[Asante]

Yeah. I swear to God, if we was like 10, 15 years younger and we had all lived in the same building, I'd be coming knocking on y' all doors all the time.

[Francesca]

Same look.

[Dustin Ross]

I mean, look, but that's different.

[Asante]

Look, y' all still might not answer, but I' ma still knock. Okay? Like that takes you back. I'm naked and I'm like, well, put some clothes on.

[Dustin Ross]

I'm naked.

[Asante]

Put some clothes on. Look, you. You could be naked all the time. No, not now.

[Dustin Ross]

It's funny though. Cause like, I don't give a fuck what Damon, like, what my brother is doing. I call, I can't know that he's in a meeting. He has an important job. You know what I'm saying? I can know that he has a 3 o'. Clock. I call him at 3. 13. I don't give a fuck. If I was in the same city with him, I would absolutely ring his doorbell unannounced. Cause he would ring the fuck out of mine.

[Francesca]

Sure would.

[Dustin Ross]

I respect his stuff, but I don't care. I'm gonna call you. Cause I wanna tell you about what I just seen or whatever it was that I want to talk about right now. So I get it, you know, just that

[Asante]

look out. I low key if I would in the. No, never mind. Look, I'm thinking about Atlanta. I don't want Y' all showing up.

[Francesca]

Yes, but just in a different life.

[Asante]

Baby, look, Knife. If it's one of y' all showing up, up, I'm. Open the door, I don't give a.

[Dustin Ross]

But we also wouldn't show up, right?

[Asante]

Exactly. Also if y' all did, that's how amazing I know it would be. So that's like you know an emergency.

[Dustin Ross]

You know,

[Asante]

Don't you? Look, I'mma tell y' all right now, if you got an emergency, you got to show up. You have to call. Because if you just show up at my door, I'm going to bust out crying. What's wrong? What's wrong? I might lose it. For real. Because you showing up and you ain't

[Francesca]

caught like those late night family calls. You already know someone died.

[Dustin Ross]

I know I'll be about to die laughing when they call.

[Pharmaceutical Announcer]

My fault.

[Dustin Ross]

Nobody cares about what I have going on. They call me at three o' clock in the morning. Oh, three. Nobody give a. You up. I see. I knew you was going to give up. Let me tell you what, it just goes. I love it though, because you know, that's love.

[Francesca]

So yeah, that is community. What about your wisdom? What do you want the next generation of men to know from you?

[Dustin Ross]

That it's very important to have integrity and for your word to be your bond. If you say you're going to do something, follow through. It's important to show that you can commit yourself to something. Like Asante said, it's important. It is most important to be a kind person, but also not take no shit. Knowing it's okay to be knowing the kind thing to do is to be unkind. You have to know that too. Respect everybody and understand that freedoms for one is freedoms for all. So you can't cherry pick who gets to do what. Everybody has to be able to do their thing and be good. Try your best to be good in bed because it is a legacy of its own. And it also can be a moral compass for you.

[Francesca]

Okay, Asante.

[Asante]

Trust. I mean not trust, strength. Be strong. As a man, you're always going to hear about strength and being strong. To my earlier point, my. The, the thing is you have to be strong. But to my earlier point, you have to see how strength shows up in different. There's many forms of strength. Be strong in your kindness, be strong in your understanding, be strong in your perseverance. Just be strong. Be strong in your emotions, be strong in your feelings, be strong in bed.

[Francesca]

Y' all are being such man.

[Asante]

He pointed down, so I just said it I just knew that, that we were gonna get there, help them.

[Dustin Ross]

It is a thing and you.

[Asante]

It is a thing.

[Dustin Ross]

It matters.

[Asante]

It does matter.

[Dustin Ross]

You know, if we talking to the youth, it's important to make sure that we are telling them the things that they need to hear.

[Asante]

Hopefully not too and understand.

[Dustin Ross]

So there's that.

[Francesca]

So I told you guys that one of my favorite hacks is to go on Poshmark first before I order something. On its original site, you can always find someone that missed their return window and they have the exact sweater you're looking for. New with tags, even the boxing bag or they only wore it once. So it's like new and you can get it for half the price, even less than that. It's my favorite thing in the world. I've actually done it so much and have been so solid successful at it that I legit go to Poshmark first. So it's something that I suggest you guys try if you're trying to save some bucks and you know, continue your shopping habits. Poshmark, for those who are unaware, is the leading fashion resale marketplace shaped by real people and real style. Millions of new and pre loved items, from daily wardrobe staples to vintage and luxury fashion archive worthy pieces that you thought you missed forever. Current Essentials 1 of 1 Vintage Finds Trust me, it's all there. And when you're ready for a closet refresh, you can earn real money selling the pieces you're ready to part with, reaching more than 80 million users on the platform. So I told you guys, I've even been looking for specific heels that are just hard to find because they are vintage and it's stuff that maybe I loved when I was growing up, up seeing them in music video and now I have the opportunity to find them because people are partying with them or I noticed there are a lot of stylists who held on to these pieces because it was part of their job to do so, of course, to maintain the archive. But now they're starting to let them go, starting to let them go on Poshmark. And so I think it's a really great app to find those curated pieces, those vintage, vintage pieces and also those current essentials that you're looking for, like I mentioned. So if you're interested to find what feels like you shop and share your style on Poshmark today, new deals and styles are listed every day, so don't wait and download the Poshmark app and use code zone when you sign up to get $10 off your first purchase or you can shop [e-mail] zone and get 10 off your first purchase. That's P O S H M A R K.com zone happy shopping eczema is

[Pharmaceutical Announcer]

unpredictable, but you can flare less with epglis, a once monthly treatment for moderate to severe eczema after an initial four month or longer dosing phase. About 4 in 10 people taking EBGLIS achieved itch relief in clear or almost clear skin at 16 weeks, and most of those people maintain skin that's still more clear at one year with monthly dosing.

Emplis Lebricizumab LBKZ a 250mg per 2ml injection is a prescription medicine used to treat adults and children 12 years of age and older who weigh at least 88 pounds or 40 kilograms with moderate to severe eczema, also called atopic dermatitis that is not well controlled with prescription therapies used on the skin or topicals or who cannot use topical therapies. EBGLIS can be used with or without topical corticosteroids. Don't use if you are allergic to ebglis. Allergic reactions can occur that can be severe. Eye problems can occur. Tell your doctor if you have new or worsening eye problems. You should not receive a live vaccine when treated with ebglis. Before starting ebglis, tell your doctor if you have a parasitic infection.

Ask your doctor about epgliss and visit epgliss.lily.com or call 1-800-lilyrx or 1-800-545-5979.

[Dustin Ross]

All right, now everybody knows how your routines change every year in the spring. Typically we overhaul our wardrobe, get all new clothes, social calendar starts filling up, we start getting invites to outdoor events, day priorities, patio events, and sometimes our work priorities even shift during this time, right? All types of things just change in the spring and some of us even change our skin and hair routines for the change in weather. Depending on where you live, you live where it's dry. Put some grease on. However, whether you're curious about affordable GLP1 options or if you're looking for smart nutrition guidance and a supportive community, Weight Watchers is going to give you the tools to stay on track and reach your weight loss goals. Because spring isn't about starting over, it's actually about starting fresh with support that helps you keep up. Now with their Core plus program, you can get a customized plan that ships in real time based on your life and your goals. And that's no gimmicks or no fads. It's a science backed approach that's designed to support you in getting better results and they have completely overhauled the app, y'. All. They give you the support you need to succeed all in one place. Making it so easy. You can join the 63 million members who have used Weight Watchers to help support their health and weight loss journeys. Stop the guesswork and start something that works. Join Weight Watchers Core plus program for the ultimate weight loss support and better results. Go to weightwatchers.com friendzone to get a special offer for our listeners. That's weightwatchers.com friendzone for a special offer.

[Francesca]

Now let's get into some feelings.

[Asante]

Now?

[Francesca]

Yeah, now.

[Dustin Ross]

I thought we was wrapping up with that last question.

[Francesca]

No, we just get started in party.

[Dustin Ross]

What you say to the youth? I was like, oh, okay.

[Francesca]

Which emotion is the hardest for you to sit with?

[Dustin Ross]

Anger.

[Asante]

Anger.

[Dustin Ross]

Anger for me, I was gonna say pain I can handle. Sadness I can take. Pain I can. I love being happy. I can handle disappointments. Anger is the one that I struggle with because it is very difficult to control.

[Asante]

Yes.

[Dustin Ross]

And it is in my case, 100% fueled by or ignited by something someone did. So it'll be my natural reaction. I'm infuriated and I want to do something. But being mature and knowing risks and all that other kind of shit, it's a very hard thing to manage and to process, you know what I'm saying? In the moment. But you have to do it to be safe. Especially like when you have shit in the future that you want to accomplish and that you have to stay lock, step in, you know what I'm saying? Right now, anger is something that is difficult to manage. Men have strong egos, a lot of pride. We're up. You know what I'm saying? And so managing anger, swallowing your anger is something that is difficult for me. I'm just.

[Asante]

Yeah.

[Dustin Ross]

By myself.

[Asante]

You know what I mean?

[Francesca]

I am curious for those listening. Sorry, Asante. What, what are ways that you manage it?

[Dustin Ross]

Me personally?

[Francesca]

Yeah. When you say anger is the hardest for you to sit with. So what are things that you do when it kicks up?

[Dustin Ross]

Okay. Cannabis, the magic school. Cannabis. That's what I do because I need something to regulate my or to expand almost my patience. And a lot of times. And plus another thing that I do for real, for real is just stay in the beat and stay in tune with my thoughts. When you and my intention. Intention is something that is so important and if I consider the intention of the relationship Is this somebody that I want to be connected to or that I want to strengthen and fortify my bond with, then I need to rethink the way that I respond or react to this is my reaction to this thing. I just. I edit myself in real time. I ask myself questions. You know what I'm saying? I interrogate myself. That's what I do. I interrogate myself in real time. That's not always easy. It's not even always possible. But I try my best through maturity and knowing the fuck better and knowing the right thing to do. Right. It'll prevent you from losing it and flipping out. I come from Flint. People tear shit up when they get mad, you know what I'm saying? Especially when they've been wronged. And so because it's more than just the cathartic experience of knocking someone's teeth out their mouth or punching somebody in the face. Right. It's the message that your actions beget this kind of consequence. You know what I mean? Something, there's accountability that'll take place here of some sort. And when somebody does you wrong and you don't feel like that, they have to be accountable immediately. It's hard for me personally. I get a big old knot right here that it feels like it's impossible to swallow, that it feels like it's beating back and forth between my back and my chest, my sternum, you know what I'm saying? It's so painful. But you can't always do that. And you have to think about the bigger picture. And that's one of the greatest lessons in life, is patience. Right? Patience. You know, thinking ahead, shit like that. So. And you have to consider how you're going to be perceived. I don't want to be perceived as a hothead that people can't entrust with responsibility or. You know what I'm saying? I don't want to be thought of like that. So I'm not going to be like. Like that. I'm not gonna act like that.

[Asante]

Yeah.

[Dustin Ross]

But I still get mad and I be wanting to monkey stomp mud, stomp a. Put my knee in the crate of your neck right here, you know what I'm saying? I be wanting to do like that, but you can't always do like that.

[Francesca]

And sometimes you're being targeted, you know,

[Dustin Ross]

whether I walk out in this world.

[Francesca]

Yep.

[Dustin Ross]

Black and gay.

[Francesca]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Dustin Ross]

So that means that everybody's against me, you know what I'm saying? I know that the minute you could smile at my face all day, the minute you get Mad at me. I'm gonna be a fag. And I know that that's how the majority of people see things. I know I'm already looked at as weaker than. And all the things just off of you knowing that now, once you get in to get into me, you know what I'm saying, you understand what time it is with minds. But the assumption is still something that. That I'm challenged and faced with every day of my life, right? Every day you got to fight to be respected, you know what I'm saying? For the general, basic things that you. The rights. The. The basic general human rights you have to fight for every single day twofold as a black gay person. So it ain't easy. Life for me, in the words of

[Francesca]

my Angela, go ahead.

[Dustin Ross]

Life for me ain't been no.

[Francesca]

Been no Christmas there.

[Dustin Ross]

It has not.

[Francesca]

It has real Asante.

[Asante]

Anger is the key.

[Dustin Ross]

Come on, you gotta say something else.

[Asante]

No, anger. Anger is the key. Anger is the key because anger unlocks irrational. You know, like, anger just unlocks the wrong things, right? Like, we love being happy. Happiness makes us laugh. It makes us feel good. I don't love being sad, but, you know, after a good cry, I feel all right. Anger leads to anything. So if anger leads to fighting, you know, afterwards, I'm sore or, you know, I got my ass beat or someone else got beat, so maybe I'm satisfied, but, you know, I still might be sore. Like, there's just too many things that. Look, anger might lead to words I don't. That I can't take back, you know, there's too many things, you know, I can't do anger. I don't want to do anger. I. How do. How do you get away from anger? Avoid. Avoid. Avoid smoke. Like Dustin said. Like, I just. I don't like anger. I don't want to be angry. Like, that's why I have to arm myself as much as possible with any sort of information. Look, anything that you can say to me that will make this a less. Or that you feel. So now I have an understanding that you feel like what you're saying is not supposed to make me angry. That will make me less angry. It's like, all right, so now I can take this anger down, like, depending on, like, the situation, right? Cause if we're talking about, like, emotions with friends, I never want to be angry with a friend. Like, upset, upset. I don't want to be upset with them, but I could work through, you know, like. But anger is just one of those things. It's like you, like, you made me so fucking angry. Like, what the fuck? Like, I don't want to get there. I don't need to be there. I don't want them to be there with me so that there's just, like, I can't get. I don't want to get to anger with. With people that I know. Like, anger with a stranger, you know, you asked for it. That's why I am as kind as I can be. But the moment y' all see me being unkind and I'm moving towards, like, like, that's unpredictable, right? Like, if y' all see me kind of change, it's like, oh, unpredictable. So if we're moving from unpredictable to anger, anger takes unpredictable on a trillion. Like, I don't even. I don't even know. And I don't want to know. And I don't want anybody else to know. To destiny. I want people to see me that way. I don't want to. That's time taken away from that. That's good. Time taken away from my own personal, like, cup of how I feel, the quality of my life. I don't want it in my cup.

[Dustin Ross]

And I'm gonna say this to y', all, shout out to Deidre, Deidre Danceler, the. The dancer, the girl on Instagram would be like, anyway. Yeah, anyway. And so let me say this to y' all too. And I don't give a. I'm just gonna say it. You see me arguing anybody, they started it. I don't care. You see me into it. I don't give a. I'mma say it because it's the truth. You see me getting into it with its friends. For real.

[Asante]

For real.

[Dustin Ross]

You see me getting into it with anybody? They started it. They started it. Yeah, I don't care.

[Francesca]

Do you? I know you said escape, escape, avoid, avoid. But what are your systems?

[Asante]

Do you have place for avoiding anger?

[Francesca]

Well, no, but if the anger, you know, rises, what happens? What's the next step?

[Asante]

So you know, like, from the flare up, like, how do I get away from like a flare up of anger?

[Francesca]

Oh, you're already angry.

[Asante]

So look, I'm already angry.

[Dustin Ross]

Be honest.

[Asante]

Look, I'm looking for. I'm trying to think of a time where I've come back from angry. Like, what brought me back? Like, how did.

[Dustin Ross]

When is the last time you was angry?

[Asante]

That's what I'm trying to. Like, that's what I'm saying. Like, I can't even think of. Because I try to stay so far away from the emotion of Anger and get there. I try so hard. Like, I don't want to be there. Like, I don't. I don't even. I can't even think. Like, the last time I was probably angry was probably at A N. And it's like, from there was like, I had to just wrap it up to. I had to. I think I chalked it up to, like, you know what? We angry. Fuck this. And I just. I threw my hands up. That's what I'm doing right now. You have to throw your hands up at some point, whether it's to put them up or to let it go. And so I choose to throw them up and let it go.

[Francesca]

Okay. When do you wish you'd been more honest?

[Asante]

On my wedding day. No, I don't know.

[Francesca]

A time in your life you wish you'd been more honest? Love watching y' all search.

[Asante]

Because I'm trying.

[Dustin Ross]

I know exactly what I'm gonna say. I'm just waiting on Asante to go first because I've been going first every damn time.

[Asante]

Well, technically, I just got finished going after me right. In my teens. I wish I was more honest about the relationships that. I really didn't want to touch on this at all. But I keep coming back to this. Sorry. I just thought about Rory as I was about to say that. I wish I was more honest about, like, the need for the relationship that I wanted to have with my father by then. Because kind of going back to the last one, I think that's one of. That wasn't the last time I can remember being angry. But, you know, my relationship with my father was different for a time when I was younger. And so I was very angry at that time. And I didn't show it in certain ways. And then in the ways that I did show it, it was like, all right, like, why are you acting out like that? So I just kind of wish that I would have been more honest about the need, like, all right, I want him to be in my life. I want to take the steps to, like, reach out and get to know him versus rejecting him. The rejecting him when he would reach out. Oh, I fixed that. Because some of that was real.

[Francesca]

I'm sure a lot of men can relate. Dustin Ross.

[Dustin Ross]

I've never lied.

[Francesca]

You know how many people just looked

[Dustin Ross]

at their phone, look, N slash A.

[Francesca]

Okay.

[Dustin Ross]

Non applicable. No, I'm just playing. I wish I would have been more honest in my last relationship. I only been in two and a half relationships in my whole life. Two and a half.

[Francesca]

A half. I'M curious about that one

[Dustin Ross]

anyway. But, yeah, I wish I would have been honest. Cause I kept trying to just be a good boyfriend instead of being honest about some things that never really got jiggy with me in the first place, so. And maybe, who knows? Maybe we could have been. We cool. Like, it ain't no bad energy, no bad blood. I just wish we could have at least been like, friends afterward. And I feel like if I would have shown up a little bit more honestly, instead of trying to be super husband and shit, you know what I'm saying? I feel like that would have saved some of what I thought was our friendship. So. I just wish I'd have been more honest about my things, about my feelings like Taraji was. And baby boy, I hate you, Jody. I was trying to get shit like. Like, you know, I'm just playing shout out to Taraji P. Henson. But yeah, that's it. Much respect to him, though. But yeah.

[Francesca]

So what's a conversation you. You still wish you could have?

[Dustin Ross]

No. Because if I don't talk to you, suck my dick. Matter of fact, you can't no more if I don't talk to you. So that's that. I don't give a anybody. I let you in the dust, bitch. That's where you belong. And you lucky you still back there because I should have had them come and till the land and make sure that you got dug up into a root somewhere. Fuck anybody that I'm no contact with. And that's on the dead homies.

[Francesca]

Fuck you.

[Dustin Ross]

You know what I'm saying? Honestly, I said shit laid out.

[Asante]

It's funny because. It's funny because, you know, I try to stay away from the relationship one, but this is the one. So I'm a. I'm a person that doesn't. Look, I reminisce often. I'm a nostalgic person person. But there are just certain things I don't like to linger in. But I found myself.

[Francesca]

There's things.

[Asante]

Great. I found myself a lingering. Just the one good time. There is a person that I did ghost. And I do kind of wish that I was like, I could talk to them just one last time to explain why I did it. I just don't want to open that.

[Francesca]

So interesting.

[Asante]

I just don't want to open that energy channel again. So that's why it's like. But I do just want to explain and then. But you know, why do I want to just. Because there's just a couple things I'd like to get off my chest. Like you know, I don't actually care about the version of me that they left with. But there is just that one little piece that. It's like you're still probably moving in the world the same. And that should not have any effect on me, but it is gonna. It may indirectly affect me because you're gonna hit somebody else with this energy and it's gonna bounce around until it maybe might try to meet me again. And that's why she's like, I just kind of want to leave like one little piece. It's the only. And it's interesting because this is the only time I've ever even wanted to do that. But it's not a. It's not a big one. It's not a huge one, to be honest. But that is just one conversation.

[Dustin Ross]

He can't help that he was born with it.

[Francesca]

You know what?

[Dustin Ross]

It might explain some of his temperament.

[Asante]

The funny thing is. Never mind.

[Dustin Ross]

He was hung like a horse. Big old Ford. Was he hung for tough. What was it? He sung like a bull. What was it? Asante? Or was it the opposite?

[Asante]

He got.

[Dustin Ross]

He got another belly button. Why you got two belly buttons? Well, what was it? Asante?

[Asante]

You know what it was?

[Dustin Ross]

Matter of fact, if it was that smart, if it was that smart, this. Would you tell him? You shut up. Don't you say shit.

[Asante]

It was a six finger Dustin.

[Dustin Ross]

Hey, let's ask friend. That nigga was. Let's ask friend, though. Friend for the women's delegation, right?

[Francesca]

No, this is about men today.

[Asante]

I know, but I just have one question.

[Francesca]

Uh huh.

[Dustin Ross]

Do y' all treat guys I wouldn't know. Okay.

[Asante]

Right.

[Dustin Ross]

You're right. Do women that you have known in

[Asante]

the past, you know what I'm saying?

[Francesca]

They're all sized.

[Asante]

Look, look, friend. I thought she was about to start acting like old boy from the caterpillar. That doctor

[Francesca]

not my reality.

[Dustin Ross]

Oh my God.

[Francesca]

Speaking of relationships, looking back, you are insane. I mean, like clinically

[Asante]

looking, it was

[Dustin Ross]

one or the other.

[Asante]

What if. What if Brad, looking back

[Francesca]

is there.

[Asante]

I know.

[Francesca]

Is that. I know the face is killing. Looking back, is there a relationship you now see differently.

[Asante]

After what I just said? That one.

[Francesca]

Oh my God. When I tell you y' all ain't killing me today, he said,

[Asante]

Is there a relationship I see differently?

[Francesca]

Is looking back, is there a relationship that you now with who you are now see differently?

[Asante]

Oh, well, everyone. Yeah, I was gonna say any of the. I was like, I could choose any older nigga that I know and just think about it. Cause I Always think about the times and the people. I have a cousin. I have a cousin that's older than me, like in his 40s. He has a child. His child is trans. And it's just interesting to watch the mindset of a man in his mindset from where he grew up and even how he changed to then have a child and process it the way that he did. It was very, very interesting to me. Like, when we were. When I first heard about the situation, but then through talking to him and talking with him and, like, looking back, I was like, damn, I can see why you were the way that you were. It didn't excuse it per se, but also because I was able to understand, it kind of made me wonder why he couldn't understand. But, you know, that's always the interesting thing too, right? Like being on the outside and being able to see things from people that we can't see for ourselves because we're, you know, too close to the source. Maybe. But I just always, like. Even today, like, I think about, like, how, you know, well, this cousin is doing and how they're prospering and just how they just kind of. I don't know. I don't want to say too much, but it's different. It's just wild to see certain relationships because it almost makes you change. It almost makes you want to move differently a little bit. It's like. And it's another way that I act out sometimes, because sometimes when I'm around this cousin with other people, I make sure that gay people ain't to be played with. So it's like you have to be taught that again, everything isn't one way. So because he was a man of a generation told that anything LGBT don't, that's probably where he stops. If he even gets that many letters, that it's bad or it's wrong or. You know, I would never support a child like that to. I see why that was dumb and misguided, and I hate that I've missed that time with my child and I need to get it back. It's like, why can't you get there? But also, you want to be so cool with me because, you see, I'm a person of the community, doing fairly well for myself. That was your child. You're supposed. You were supposed to make them successful.

[Francesca]

Like, right,

[Asante]

right it with me, things like that.

[Dustin Ross]

Well, you know, through life experience, you change as a person. Hopefully some of you are still the same man, sour, underarm bastards you've always been. Right. But if you Through. Through life experience. Most people change in their perspectives, grow and differ on things you find empathy for, things that you may not have once had empathy in others for or whatever. So I see things completely differently. And the first person that I see differently is myself. I look back on things that I did not know were a mistake but now recognize as a mistake for myself. I have called people and apologize for stuff that I've really recognized was. Yeah. Years later. Yup, yup. Because I would rather you have that reflection than think I just never understood if I got it later.

[Francesca]

I love that, especially coming from a man. I'm like, what?

[Asante]

Yeah.

[Dustin Ross]

Hell yeah, I'm a man, baby.

[Asante]

You understand?

[Dustin Ross]

So I'm gonna clean it up.

[Francesca]

But yeah, that's really beautiful, honestly.

[Dustin Ross]

So, yes, I look at back at relationships and want them to have been differently and look at them differently than I did when I was in them, you know what I'm saying? For sure. Yeah.

[Francesca]

I really love that because I had an ex who is in therapy and I guess I came up and part of his work on that was to send me a letter. And initially I was like, oh, you know, there's a part of me that's like, now, now, these years later, you're seeing the error of your ways. But I had to, like, real that part of me in and actually be happy that him moving forward hopefully means that no one else has to experience. Yeah. Those parts and that he has been able to audit them. You know what I mean?

[Dustin Ross]

To keep it so real. If I'm. If I've. If we stopped fucking with each other and I decided to, like, leave you alone, I feel like I won anyway, you know what I'm saying? I'm just being honest. I felt like I won anyway. So, like, yeah, you. Good for you. But sending me that notes, I'm still in a leader position as far as me and you are concerned because I'm the one who stopped fucking with you. You know what I'm saying? And that's the W here that we need to be concerned with.

[Francesca]

So what's one thing that. That deepened a past or current relationship?

[Dustin Ross]

I'm trying to think of legal things,

[Francesca]

the faces.

[Dustin Ross]

Okay. So when one of my friends passed away, I got dramatically, drastically closer with one of my other friends who was also friends with that person. And so the shared experience of grief created a new bond not built on no weird toxic shit, but just, like, we started talking more and we started talking every day, you know what I'm saying? And me and this person just grew closer but it was because of that moment happening. So in a way, maybe that's a gift from the other side, from my son.

[Francesca]

I love that.

[Dustin Ross]

You know what I'm saying? Which makes sense because that's how he was.

[Francesca]

But yeah, yeah, he was a community builder. So that makes total sense.

[Dustin Ross]

Yup. Anything else.

[Asante]

In Face, I keep going back to just like creative people that I've met. Like I met someone that was into photo. I met someone else that was into photography. Not too long ago, I found a

[Dustin Ross]

few of them photographers be having that. Good, good. You wanna talk about a shutterbug, baby.

[Francesca]

They too volatile emotionally.

[Dustin Ross]

Yeah. But they know how to lay right, you know what I'm saying? Because they understand movement in a way that is truly remote in my experience. Asante, you wanted the questions, you know what I'm saying?

[Asante]

Look, ask it one more time because

[Francesca]

what, what's one thing that deepens a past or current relationship, nevermind.

[Asante]

That actually fit right into what he just said? No, this photographer friend that I knew, it was just really cool because I always been around photography and I was just like, you know, that's just something I'm going to revisit at a different point in my life. And this person, I remember, they said to me, like, every point of view that you have and how it's going to change is going to be so beautiful when once you do pick that camera back up again. And they let me use that camera, which was a really nice Sony, you know, Sony really came up and I was like, damn. And the pictures that they had, we ain't cool no more because they had posted one of the pictures on the Instagram and said it was theirs. But you know what? I had took and I like that. It was kind of like, this is a little.

[Francesca]

Ew.

[Dustin Ross]

You still in?

[Francesca]

Okay.

[Asante]

You stole from me. You stole my money too. I have a lot of photographer friends too that I have not had sex with.

[Francesca]

All right.

[Asante]

I do too.

[Dustin Ross]

I ain't all of them. It's the hot ones,

[Asante]

friend. I'm pulling the list like he's saying something. But why? Don't worry about it.

[Dustin Ross]

The hot ones.

[Francesca]

How has your idea. We'll do just a few more. How has your idea of love changed over the years?

[Dustin Ross]

Drastically.

[Francesca]

Oh, I've.

[Dustin Ross]

I had no idea, friend.

[Francesca]

I've witnessed.

[Dustin Ross]

I want to lay my head on your shoulder. Yeah. Drastically falling in love is something that is. That for me at least was a life changing experience. Yes, Life changing.

[Francesca]

Life altering.

[Dustin Ross]

Life altering permanent. You know what I'm saying? Permanent record Permanent marker, even Sharpie. So he's so. Yes. Marx a lot remember Marx a lot remember the big black marks. And they came in brown too. So. Yes, but drastically. Love. I have such a deeper understanding of love, and I'm so grateful. Let's talk about the positive. Right. What I'm grateful for is that I understand the necessity of friendship in love. Specifically black gay love. Right. Because I'm black and gay. So in our love, we have to have a foundational basis of friendship that makes us care about each other and in a way that just messages how much we matter. I care about how you feel. I like having fun with you because we're friends. I'm not afraid to share my interest with you without fear of judgment, you know what I'm saying? And shit like that. You got to have a foundation of friendship. And I understand that and I'm grateful for that because it really has been beneficial to my. My movement in my community in that way.

[Francesca]

Yeah.

[Dustin Ross]

So, yeah, that's a positive thing.

[Francesca]

It is. You being cute ain't enough.

[Dustin Ross]

No, not.

[Francesca]

Not at this age, man.

[Asante]

Love is just. It's beautiful, man. Like, love is. Love is understanding. I keep going back to understanding, but, like, when you just think about those beautiful exchanges that you have with your friends who you love so deeply, and even those sad moments are so beautiful because you can just be there for each other, whatever that looks like, like love, just like the way that it graduates you into, like a new dimension, it's like. It's just. There's nothing like it. And so when I think about love and even a relationship that's like a union, that's so rare and so special, and you can learn so much so fast while you're in love. Right? But also it can. I mean, life changing, you know, life changing, life ending, like, you know, falling into love kills old versions of yourself and brings forth, you know, newer version of yourself, good or bad, you know, So I just think it's crazy and it's amazing.

[Francesca]

I'm curious, how do you. This is a last loved one. How do you deal with heartbreak? Like, what systems you have. Yeah. What systems you got in place for that, if any.

[Dustin Ross]

Oh, I ain't gonna hold you. That was one of the worst experiences I have ever had in my entire life. And it was late in life for me, so that's a, like a, you know, a thing in and of itself. Emotions and feelings and more. Been around too many. Ty bleep that out too. But I'm not so emotional. I told y' all. Once Frank and Neff died, I got more sensitive than I have ever been in my entire life. For real. It was.

[Asante]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dustin Ross]

The winds of change.

[Francesca]

You cracked open, okay.

[Dustin Ross]

Around me. And I was like, I don't like this shit. I hate it, as a matter of fact. Take it back. But they can't. Ain't anyway, so. Yeah, I'm just gonna stop talking.

[Francesca]

Why?

[Dustin Ross]

Because I don't have. I don't have anything to like, to even. It's a.

[Francesca]

You know, you have a system. Okay.

[Pharmaceutical Announcer]

Yeah.

[Dustin Ross]

Only thing I say, it's a day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute, second by second walk, right? And you have to be completely present and think yourself through your feelings. You have to be like, okay, how do I feel? I feel sad. Why am I sad about this? I'm sad about this because I want the person still romantically, or I wish I wouldn't have done this, or I wish they wouldn't have done that. I'm gonna miss this. You have to get real specific with your thoughts so that you can begin to work through them and move forward, you know what I'm saying? And relearn how to live your life without that person in it. Cause that's the part that really fucking sucks. Sucks. And the loss of hope for, like, the future and what could have been and shit. You just have to think your way through that so that you don't call them if you don't really want to. You know what I'm saying? If you don't need to. It's just a. It is a thing. What I can't say. What I can say is that it's something that you have to be, like I said, completely down to the minute, down to the second. You have to have an awareness of your emotions, and you have to talk yourself through each. Each one in order to make it through.

[Francesca]

All of us is feeling it in the pit of our stomach.

[Dustin Ross]

And on some. On some real. I know it sounds cliche, but with somebody else going on dates, you know what I'm saying? And going out and being flirted with. Yes, that can really make you feel better in the moment. And sometimes that's what you need. It's not a shameful thing to want to feel good, good right now. You know what I mean? And so to be affirmed in a row. It's not to be affirmed,

[Francesca]

but sometimes y' all be pulling people in that really like you, and they.

[Dustin Ross]

Well, but that's the thing.

[Francesca]

You're just right.

[Dustin Ross]

Be honest about that.

[Francesca]

That's.

[Dustin Ross]

That's the part that you have to be accountable for, that part. Be honest with the people that you're not looking for. Nothing serious.

[Francesca]

Yeah.

[Dustin Ross]

Just want to have some fun or go flirt with somebody who you already. No.

[Francesca]

Ain't looking serious. Yeah.

[Dustin Ross]

And just get the feeling without doing some damage. Of course. I don't want nobody doing damage to nobody else emotionally. But you sometimes need that feeling of just being. I know. I'll speak for myself. I needed that feeling of being desired by other people for me to be. You know what I'm saying? To feel good about myself. You know what I mean?

[Francesca]

To remember.

[Dustin Ross]

Needed that. And so. And I've always needed that in or out of heartbreak.

[Asante]

Right.

[Dustin Ross]

It's a part of me. Spirit, human. Yeah. Yeah.

[Francesca]

We ain't doing shit.

[Dustin Ross]

Yeah, I like that. It's one of my. You know. You know how Oprah had her favorite things? Let me tell you what's number two on my list.

[Asante]

Like.

[Francesca]

Yeah.

[Dustin Ross]

So I just. I suggest that Oprah. Others seek that too. Or just not even. Don't really seek it out. Just make yourself available to receive it. That's what you do. And I feel like it can be, you know, gratifying in that moment. Gratification. This is gratification 2026. Okay. That's what this is.

[Asante]

Yeah. I think that Dustin's definitely on to something. Right before I was saying how love. It's like a graduation, you know, and you become this new person and you change. And so when something like that ends, you have to pick up the pieces and you end up becoming maybe a new person again. You know, you try to get back to your old self, but, you know, you're a different version of yourself because you've experienced something. So now you have to literally deal with everything as it's happening. Whether it's the anger, which I didn't want to be. I didn't want to be angry, but this is making me angry, or the disappointment and. Or sadness or whatever. And. And from that, you gotta either give yourself a timeline of how long it's gonna take, or after some time, reassess how long you've taken. And then from there, you know, you could build a plan to, how am I gonna get back to my old self? Do I need to go get my hair done in a different style? You know, some people decide they wanna cut their hair off or get the braids they have been wanting, go get that dress that they've been wanting. Like, you know, do something new. You know, try something new. Go out, like Dustin said. It doesn't mean that you have to go out and look for your next husband. Just go out to feel desired because you know that you are, you are wanted. Just things didn't work out with this person. So there are just many different ways to get through that last part of it. But if you can kind of like allow yourself to feel, feel that end, so you can truly like, you know, give yourself whatever that closure looks like. Because when you're looking for closure from other people, well, I, I don't want that per se. Like I. I told you earlier, I kind of randomly want to give this one person closure if they wanted it. And that's really more for me than them. But I still kind of would just, if I could, if there was an opportunity where I randomly bumped into them and they were like, let's have a talk. I'd be like, all right, let's have a conversation. In my head. It would be our one last final conversation so I could finally like lay this one little piece of nostalgia to rest.

[Dustin Ross]

You think you will? Do you anticipate crossing paths with them?

[Asante]

Okay, I don't anticipate it, but it's possible. Look, the universe be crazy.

[Dustin Ross]

So geographically I'm speaking, is it possible?

[Asante]

Not currently. Look, Dustin.

[Dustin Ross]

Oh, got you. I already.

[Asante]

Say no more.

[Dustin Ross]

I got it. I already got it. I already got it. I'm 85 and I'm riding in the circle.

[Asante]

Well, no, no, but, but like in certain regions we travel to.

[Dustin Ross]

Got it.

[Asante]

It just be like, you got that number still?

[Dustin Ross]

Cause if you feel like that, nigga, you a grown ass man. Call them and just be like, yo, X. Yeah.

[Asante]

So here's the problem. You know when you was making your joke earlier, it is too big. No, I'm just kidding. Oh, they're a Leo. So it's just like that energy is

[Dustin Ross]

just shout out to Leos.

[Asante]

But look, you know, as passionate and as great as they can be, there'd just be certain other things sometimes. And I don't want to open that this pen.

[Dustin Ross]

I have one of the best. Is it the one understandings. In fact, they came to your birthday dinner with me. Remember who came to Atlanta with me and came to your birthday dinner with me?

[Asante]

I do any. Yeah, we.

[Dustin Ross]

I have one of the best relationships and I love them with one of them. Yeah. And just a complete level of understanding love for real care made it through hurdles, you know what I'm saying? And just so I shout out to leos.

[Francesca]

Shout out to Leo's.

[Asante]

Shout out to them. And this one has to stay where they're at. Thank you very much for your praise. Corner of Leo. Like, look, this is exactly why I want to open the exchange. Like, you see how all that happened? It was just like, it wasn't even supposed to.

[Francesca]

I love it.

[Asante]

It's about to be so look at you. Better make some calls after.

[Francesca]

I have three more and we'll wrap this up. What's something small that makes you feel loved?

[Dustin Ross]

Being thoughtful things. Thoughtful things. Just be thoughtful, you know, I didn't grow up celebrating holidays and shit. Those are great moments. Being thoughtful of big, big things going on in my life or other things. Just thoughtfulness. Thoughtfulness is something that doesn't cost a lot. There are so many ways that you can just show someone that you are thinking of them. That's very valuable in my personal. You know what I'm saying? Wallet, same.

[Francesca]

Asante.

[Asante]

The currency of laughter.

[Francesca]

Same, you know, like.

[Asante]

Like some people, like, I. You don't have to be funny. Funny. I'm funny, you know, but if you can make me laugh a little bit, just like random times, that's just such a beautiful thing. Because I'm the type of person, y' all know, I go out and make everybody laugh at any time, and sometimes I act like I don't exist, so I could pretend nobody else exists. Like, there are different ways, right? But if you're with someone that can just, like, randomly say some or randomly give you a look, and it's just like, oh, my God, the best.

[Dustin Ross]

The best.

[Asante]

Like, those are just like. Like, that means you. You know me or I know you. Like, we, like, we're so familiar where these unspoken moments, or even these. The comedy of it, because sometimes people do things that aren't funny for you, but you still be like, oh, this is crazy. But if it's like, you're actually making me laugh because, like that, like, you're crazy and that's funny. So I love it.

[Dustin Ross]

Yeah, I'm big on that.

[Francesca]

What moment of joy would you relive if you could?

[Dustin Ross]

Ooh wee. I done had some really good joyous moments. There was this one time when we was in LA and I had met this guy. Shout out to you too, baby. We still cool. To this day, too. We still cool. We great friends. We still cool. Like, just met. Met him and Neff, bless her heart. Oh, I love you so much, Neff. Neff was alive and we was riding down Santa Monica and he had a convertible that was very, very, very nice. And we had met and he was like, ride with me, you Know what I'm saying? And so, like. And I rolled with him and we was out. That top was dropped. It was just a beautiful day. He smokes. It just. It was just a. It was just wonderful. And I will never forget how I have had some really good times in Los Angeles that I'll never forget. Like, good. Just. Just. The day is just going good. And it was just one of them days. And me and that person still. I don't give a fuck. Corey. Shout out to Corey. I love you, Corey. We still cool to this day. And we was all together in la. That was so much fun. I remember. I. I don't care. I had talked to you about it, friend. I had sent you a picture. I love when you shout out to Corey, man. I'll never forget that day in LA and just blasting that music and riding around, going from restaurant to spot to club. What Lady Gaga say? Plane, another club. Bus club, another club. I will never forget the way we was just moving around la. How beautiful the day was. And just. Neff was so happy and just. We just was having a good time. Good time. We were.

[Asante]

Yes.

[Francesca]

We love you, Neff.

[Asante]

What was the question again? I had it.

[Dustin Ross]

A moment of joy.

[Francesca]

A moment of joy.

[Asante]

Moment of joy. Okay, so this is the one that I. I only thought about this because it was Pride Month. I know what we. I've ran this story earlier this year, but back when it was gay Pride in Atlanta, 2008 or 9, and XD came when we, me and XD had such a fun fucking time. I was just talking about this the other day with Anton, because me, XD and Antoine, we went with a friend of ours to a party. It was a house party, but it was still a black gay function. And just some of the guests that were there were very. It was very comical who was in the room at the time. And so that's what me and Anto are catching up the other day because of that person. But that was just such a fun moment in time. It was so random that me and XD didn't even really like, we had been locked in as, like, friends online. He was like, bitch, I'm gonna come down there. And I was like, bitch, come on, let's go. And then, like, we just had a great fucking weekend. And the fact that we're still friends to this day.

[Dustin Ross]

And I love you, xd.

[Francesca]

I love that.

[Asante]

That's the moment so much. Xd, we love you, xd. The moment that with Anto, I know he would remember it too. I should call him and bring it up because it was just. It was pride. So any and everybody was out. Like it's pride. People want to be out even if they're not gay, they want to be out. Like everybody wants to be out. And some people be out not even knowing that it's pride. So there's just so many fun surprises that happen during Atlanta Pride and that Atlanta Pride that year. Like, Dustin, you remember how I was there?

[Dustin Ross]

That's crazy. We didn't even know each other.

[Asante]

I know, I know you were. That's why I said, dustin, you remember the city look, you remembered how that varsity parking lot look. You remember?

[Dustin Ross]

It changed my life as a man. It was life changing, friend.

[Asante]

It was like, like, you know how, like how we talk about, like the layout in Brooklyn?

[Francesca]

Yeah.

[Asante]

Like imagine like the downtown Atlanta, but it's just a sea of men and cars and, and music as hell.

[Dustin Ross]

People you ain't never seen in your life. Life. And, and, and, and you. Everybody's a new face. And this, this is when I first started my gay career. 2005.

[Asante]

You know what I'm saying?

[Dustin Ross]

2005 was my first prize.

[Francesca]

And people traveled from all over, right?

[Asante]

People from all the world.

[Dustin Ross]

Global.

[Pharmaceutical Announcer]

Global.

[Dustin Ross]

It wasn't. It wasn't nothing to be in Atlanta and look at a. And they ain't they. You don't even speak the same language. But you know, y' all both hot to each other. So y' all like.

[Asante]

Yep.

[Dustin Ross]

You. You gesturing. You know what I'm saying? You doing. Tapping, you doing whatever you can to make this motherfucker know. Get your meaning? Asante, you are 100% right. And I mean this literally.

[Asante]

Yes.

[Dustin Ross]

Life changing experience for me.

[Francesca]

Wow.

[Dustin Ross]

That empowered me in ways that changed the way that I socialize with other gay men. I've sought myself differently after that. I knew exactly where I fit in in this community. I knew where my pocket was. It was, it was. It was life changing. Met people who to this day, I'm like family with.

[Asante]

Like that.

[Dustin Ross]

That. That was. It was. It was life changing.

[Asante]

And. And that's so beautiful that you just

[Dustin Ross]

so you know,

[Asante]

Dustin, you continue to clear it. Right? Here's the beauty in that. No, you don't thank me. You know, you put that on and do your. Every time you step out. And it's people like you. No, I'm just kidding. It's people like you that just really inspire people to go out and be outside. And that's something that we need. Right? But that moment, you having that perspective of that moment, you Understand the beauty of, like, when these communities come together, we have these events. How it's bomb when there's all these different things to do and there's all these black gay men out, you know, going from event to event. Sometimes you can catch a conversation. Sometimes you only leave with a look. Sometimes y' all see each other in different cities after that. Sometimes I become friends with life. It's just. And then sometimes you come back, you know, a year after year, and then it's like, okay, this is part, you know, family reunion, part, you know, roster build or, you know, mission or, like, whatever you want.

[Dustin Ross]

You know, I have friends who I have literally going to sit and be a witness in court cases for. That's how a lot of people.

[Francesca]

That's how deep it got.

[Dustin Ross]

Know are each other families be. Be in your house. All from. All from meeting each other in places like that and striking up. These are real friendships. This is not just want to go be wild and have fun at a club. These are like long bonds, like real shit. And when you're gay and you black and make you feel like you can't really go here or go there, when y' all come together, that shit means something. And you find that sort of. That sort of safety within each other. It's really a real thing. And so my hope is that it stay that way for the young niggas that come after us years, I was

[Francesca]

gonna ask, do y' all think it still has the same effect?

[Dustin Ross]

Hell, yeah. Look at this.

[Asante]

It definitely does.

[Dustin Ross]

Just. Just over Memorial Day, we look at DC Pride. Thousands and thousands of people, people online every day talking about how fine the niggas was. I'm not gay people, straight people, talking about how fine the niggas was in them videos that they saw and shit. That coming together as a community, even though it sound corny, it's a real thing.

[Asante]

It is.

[Dustin Ross]

And it will really empower you and shit. And I just wanted to say again, I cleared it. My debut to gay pride.

[Francesca]

My debut like a debut to real.

[Dustin Ross]

My debut. My cotillion, my. My quince as a gay. When I came to Atlanta for Prime, I rented a blue Hummer. H2 was by myself when I put in that parking lot. Asante. No shirt blasting.

[Asante]

Well, forget probably roll past your ass. Everything blasting.

[Dustin Ross]

R. Kelly 12 playing sex me. I had him on repeat. I was just blasting him and sitting of on top on the hood of that car, smoking black and miles. This is before I smoked weed. I was smoking black and miles. A new face, please. And like I said I was empowered.

[Francesca]

I love that, and I love. It still happens.

[Asante]

I have to say, with that, with all of that said, I want to get as cornier as possible. I want the community to really get back to that fun. You know, like, this still fun.

[Dustin Ross]

To me, I'm still.

[Asante]

No, it is. No, I said that fun. Like, it's still fun. Yes, but like, that fun of just that energy of knowing that everybody's gonna be in the same city. And so from that we build versus, like, all right, everybody's gonna be in the same city.

[Dustin Ross]

So I'm gonna fight you this weekend when I see you.

[Asante]

Yeah, yeah.

[Francesca]

You feel it's changed. The energy has shifted.

[Asante]

I mean, yeah, but, you know, the times have changed. You know, look, like Solange said, people, they've got a right to be mad. It's just that we need to take these moments to not be mad at each other. Like when we bumping each other in the club, that's the opportunity to look at each other and say, excuse me, real cute. And if, you know, and if they cute back, be like, oh, you know, my fault. Or like, you know, that those are. These are great moments to connect. Not get so wasted that you're passing out and you making it difficult for your friends or yourself.

[Dustin Ross]

Or do that on Friday, Saturday, Sunday, you have your together do that Wednesday,

[Asante]

Thursday, you know, figure out the test of what you think you could do for the weekend. Don't do it on the weekend at all. Like, early experience. Yeah. These are the times you get to come together. You do. You do. But as the generation look, as we get older and the people that are making these businesses out and having these parties, we have a responsibility as well to make sure that we're making this.

[Dustin Ross]

I feel bad in Houston. Rodeo Zach. Speaking of Zach, me and Zach got blackout drunk on that Sunday. I woke up, it was mud everywhere. All over my hotel room, all over my closet. To this day, I don't even know how that mud. We found out what happened like that next week from one of his female friends. Like, me and Zach got thrown out of a club. I don't wanna name it in Houston at the same time, on two different floors. Our friends are outside. We got thrown out. We met being thrown out. We met up being thrown out of this club.

[Francesca]

I just pictured Jazzy and I didn't

[Dustin Ross]

even remember it until the next. Anyway, horrible. And so shame on me. Cause that happened on a Sunday. But before I remember having the time of ball, I just remember feeling so. Somebody literally just handed me A bottle of Hennessy that was a fan of, like, the show.

[Asante]

Oh, my God. In this club we was at, I

[Dustin Ross]

just remember thinking, like, I'm having a time. I felt like that white girl in them insurance commercials or the medicine commercials and me dancing, I was like, I'm

[Asante]

having the time of my life.

[Dustin Ross]

And then the next day, I was like, mud. But trust. What? Quiet. Say bun. Love, Trust, Friendship. Because that's what that was. And I can't wait to do it again, to be honest with you.

[Asante]

Amen.

[Francesca]

Amen. Last question. What do you hope people remember you for?

[Dustin Ross]

Being the realest nigga they ever met. And being a. And when I say that, what I mean specifically is being a loyal friend. I think about this all the time. Especially in light of recent events in the past few years. I think a lot about that. And I want people. I want all my friends to feel like Dustin was really my friend. For real. Like, Dustin actually, like, for real, for real. We was locked in, and he was actually happy for me, for real. He cared about what happened to me. I just want all my friends and family, for sure, to know that I love them for real. And I showed it. I don't want it to be no questions. That's my only thing. And I want to be respected. Or else.

[Asante]

Just a little mark of love. I just want people to leave knowing that he was out the way. You know, I don't bother. I don't. I do my best to not bother anybody and have as good of a time as I can. And I try to make sure everybody enjoys themselves as much as possible as well. So if you can leave just knowing that he was a good person, I will be content with that. I know people have a lot on their plate. There's a lot of people people have to have feelings for. So if I. If, you know, I'm on my midnight train and I pull up to my funeral and people can't be there. Look, I'm on the other side. I don't have time or. I don't want to be like, damn, that's all y' all got, sir. Y' all the only ones that showed up. You know, I want people to just have that feeling when I'm there, You know, love me, love me when I'm there, and, you know, just be cool with me when I'm gone. That's it.

[Dustin Ross]

I just want my friends and family to really know that I cared. Yeah, that's one of the things and one of the biggest things about life, the big takeaways, is Just knowing that people care. For real?

[Francesca]

Yeah.

[Dustin Ross]

And a lot of people. That's conditional based on if y' all disagreed or not. I want my friends and the people. I want y' all to know that I really, really, really cared about you. That's what I want. I don't want it to be no question when I leave this earth. And as long as everybody I gave a fuck about can fully and honestly wholeheartedly say that when I'm dead as fuck somewhere stanking, you know what I'm saying, with a tag on my toe. You know what I mean? I want y' all to be like that. Dead. Gave a. When he wasn't dead. When he wasn't dead, he was absolutely.

[Asante]

You know what I'm saying?

[Dustin Ross]

That's what I want people to feel.

[Asante]

So I ain't gonna talk bad about you in your next act.

[Dustin Ross]

I'm gonna hear you anyway. Even though I'm dead, I'm have a little bit left.

[Asante]

I know I'm a few. Out of all the people, why me

[Dustin Ross]

put pushing toward the car? I want you to buy. You know, you at the dealership. I'm pushing you toward the car. I want you to be like, get the vet.

[Francesca]

Get the vet. You know what I love the most about how y' all answered that last question? Both of y' all focused on the people that you love, you know, like your friends and family. I feel like someone might think how the world perceives them overall, but y' all focused on, like, who. Who's actually in your heart. I think that says a lot. Thank you guys for allowing me to ask you questions. I know y' all hate being asked questions. Do and do especially, you know, the

[Asante]

more emotional you ain't doing, another one of these is you.

[Dustin Ross]

She got 60 cards, right?

[Francesca]

Part two. No. But I'm so happy. These were wonderful questions. How'd y' all feel about the cards? These are good questions, right?

[Asante]

Yeah, they're amazing.

[Dustin Ross]

Excellent game. I'm uncomfortable, which means it works.

[Francesca]

It works, right? I love, like I said that it's focused on men. That's why I wanted it to just highlight you guys and just facilitate the conversation. Thank you for being down and open and those of you who listened. We hope you enjoyed it. I especially met men listening and even, you know, friends and family of the men. Like, this would be a great gift to. To have these conversations with the men in your life. There are a lot of other questions, too, that were a little heavier that I didn't. Thank you for not putting us through that yeah, there was some that I just felt like. I know we all know each other's stories in that level and sometimes it just might not be for the show necessarily. But you know, I felt that there was fine. Yeah, this was fine. I felt like we touched on very deeper things. But the cards do get much deeper and I think that would be great for those of you, you know with your friends and family. Something to consider. So if you are interested, check out you good brand.com and thank you to Wendy for letting me know. I think your husband and your friend's brand is wonderful. Love you Wendy. We love you Gabe. We love you. And that's it for this week's episode. Let's jump into the segments.

[Asante]

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[Pharmaceutical Announcer]

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[Dustin Ross]

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[Pharmaceutical Announcer]

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[Dustin Ross]

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[Francesca]

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[Dustin Ross]

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[Francesca]

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[Dustin Ross]

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[Asante]

Same family.

[Pharmaceutical Announcer]

That's all that matters to me.

[Dustin Ross]

Your BET favorites are now on Paramount Plus. Subscribe now.

[Francesca]

This week in wellness. So because the hot button went longer than usual and it was wellness related, I'm going to pass the peas like

[Dustin Ross]

we used to, like we never do. Pass the peas like we never do. Oh, past the peas, like we never do.

[Francesca]

And we are going to jump straight into Mr. Bees.

[Dustin Ross]

I know that's right, friend. You got me rolling right now, period.

[Asante]

I ain't mad at you, okay?

[Dustin Ross]

I know that's right.

[Asante]

Mad at you.

[Dustin Ross]

Fran said executive.

[Asante]

What? D.C. i ain't mad at you.

[Dustin Ross]

Hell no, I ain't mad at you.

[Asante]

Okay, let's do it this week in music. All right, real, real, real quick. Just a few stories here in the listens lately artists mention portion of this music man segment. Okay, first story I want to share is Drake. Y' all know we was feeling Drake and we ain't talked about him in a minute. We just talked about him releasing the three projects. We gave our opinions on them. Well, Drake, he is still out here. Iceman has been a number one on billboard.

[Francesca]

Really?

[Asante]

Or it's it's hit its fourth week number one on the billboard 200.

[Dustin Ross]

All right, now it's some on there.

[Francesca]

Okay.

[Asante]

I mean Iceman is killing people. I tell people all the time your initial Listen to Drake. You have to either sit with it or really, you know, remember the songs that you like in that moment and then revisit and see if there was anything else that you feel like you might have missed. Because I. With everything, I first listened, but I was like, all right, but let me just differentiate the sounds and put myself in the vibes for real. But I was already with it, so I already knew. I mean, I ain't no season. I don't really pay attention to charts to, like, say, I can, you know, chart watch and guess who's going to be where. I just like good music. So it's affirming sometimes when you see the songs that you like still on Billboard.

[Francesca]

What about the other. Did you say the other albums, too?

[Asante]

So no, Habibti. Well, Habibti followed at number two and made him honored number three. And so Drake was the first. That's the right order. He was the ever. He was the first artist to ever debut three projects at the top three spots on Billboard 200 in the history of the chart.

[Francesca]

Damn.

[Asante]

But I don't believe that they're still there.

[Pharmaceutical Announcer]

Okay.

[Asante]

That was.

[Francesca]

But it happened. Yeah. Wow.

[Dustin Ross]

Apparently got my favorite songs on there out of all three albums.

[Asante]

Oh, which ones?

[Dustin Ross]

High Fives, Slap the City. So, baby, show me some. Okay. That's my. Okay.

[Asante]

What's her name?

[Dustin Ross]

Odessa. Odinessa, was it?

[Francesca]

Oh, yeah. It's an artist.

[Dustin Ross]

Yeah. Quinn Dresser.

[Asante]

Yeah.

[Dustin Ross]

But those are two of my favorites. High Fives and Slap the City. Those are two of my favorite songs out of the whole three. The whole lot of three albums. Yeah.

[Francesca]

Nice.

[Asante]

Well, Drake is still doing it. I know a lot of people were very concerned with all this beef that's happened. And there's been a lot of discourse around the projects and the shots that he's taken. Taking and the shots that he's not taking. Yada, yada, yada. He made. He is a pop rapper. Not mad at it. I. I love that he's a pop rapper and he leans into whatever he's leaning into. Like, whether it's the sound of he's gonna play with, you know, something new or if he's going to give you some old formula but beef it up some different. Like he. I like the fact that he knows what works. And some of it maybe hit immediately for people like me. And sometimes people. Other people, they're gonna deny that they like it until they want to like it or they end up doing. Liking it. Now, that's just all the way away from the people that are Always going to hate Drake anything that he does. Right. So I want to make sure that. I know that there is a spectrum here when it comes to, you know, any sort of music fanship or listenership. But I am enjoying the fact that he's succeeding. He's dropping music video after music video. I love seeing him out. He's. He's basically showing that he's out here still doing his thing. Now, what does this mean for Kendrick? That's not my business. When Kendrick drops me, I'm still gonna listen to it. I just want that to be said because, you know, people are always going to be like, oh, my God. Well, you was just talking about Kendra. Yes, because I like the music.

[Francesca]

Yeah.

[Asante]

You know, now, people be fine. They will both be fine. People have done salacious things to each other. You know,

[Dustin Ross]

he got a song on Iceman that sounds just like a Kendrick song, too.

[Francesca]

Really?

[Dustin Ross]

Too raw for the radio or too hard for the radio? That's my shit. It sound like a Kendrick song, though. Don't worry, I'll play it during this. I play it.

[Asante]

Okay.

[Pharmaceutical Announcer]

Okay.

[Asante]

Just one, two other quick stories because the last one's a YouTube homework for you all. I just want to shout out Sheryl Crow. Mm. I mean, just to do it. Well. Yeah. Because she don't fuck with Trump, and she's always talking out about his against his ass. And I enjoy Cheryl Crow. She what? That was like, you know, look, have always enjoyed her music song.

[Francesca]

I got a feeling these white people got a gun.

[Asante]

Cheryl Crow. She's always been, I think, as Dustin would say, on the right side of things.

[Dustin Ross]

I believe on the correct side. Yep.

[Asante]

So. And just knowing that I've fucked with the discography and she is a white woman doing what white people should be doing.

[Dustin Ross]

Yeah. That's why she still looks good. She ain't going that bad. Yeah.

[Asante]

Yes. So I feel like it's only fair to just shout her out for the work that she's doing. If you're not familiar with Sheryl Crocus

[Francesca]

playing Sheryl Crowe song, you just reminded me. Ooh. You just reminded me. Okay. Sorry. It took me somewhere.

[Asante]

But honestly, that's what the Music man segment is about. Right? Like, it's just about. About to talk about music and the things that interest us and get us excited. So the fact that all I had to do was say her name.

[Francesca]

Okay.

[Asante]

You know, and it took you there. That's how beautiful that is. Look like how when you had that Ray J song you want to play so bad.

[Francesca]

Music is my Life.

[Asante]

It really is. And speaking of music being our live. And Ray J, for this last story, Ray J's niece, Sarai has released a new single.

[Francesca]

Yes. I was gonna hit y'.

[Dustin Ross]

All.

[Asante]

She's so pretty. She's so pretty too.

[Francesca]

Because we would. I feel like we. Did I not just ask, like last week if y' all had heard her drop anything and y', all, everyone was like, oh, kindness, a little buzz going on and then, boom, she literally drops the music. First song. Oh, that made me so happy.

[Asante]

Yes.

[Francesca]

It's so beautiful.

[Asante]

Sounds like Sarai has. She's both. Yes, absolutely. She's so beautiful. Sounds like her mama. Like, just. And chef's kiss. Because she's young, she's fresh, she's hot, and she's also being, you know, like. I like that we're looking appropriate. You know, some people feel like they gotta pop out and do a lot, but it's already like, girl, you guys, you gotta. You look good, so you don't gotta do a lot. So I like the fact that she's like playing with us right now. Like, I like when women do things like that. That. So I love this phase. Yes.

[Francesca]

Yeah.

[Asante]

Tell you. Grab the book. So, yes, Sirai, she dropped her song. And there's a video out. The song is called Late Night. Her uncle Ray J actually has a cameo in the video. Dustin, have you seen this video? Did you see who the male lead was? Did you recognize him?

[Dustin Ross]

I don't remember.

[Francesca]

Who was it?

[Asante]

You wouldn't know, but.

[Francesca]

Oh, I was gonna say I don't remember.

[Asante]

Zeus has a bootleg love island called Love Cabin.

[Dustin Ross]

Which one of them niggas was it?

[Asante]

I don't remember his name, but he was the light skinned one with the hair. The light. Right. He said, I just saw him. And I was like. Cause Ray J hosted Love Cabin too. So I was like, not Ray J brought this dude.

[Dustin Ross]

But good for him, though. He's working. That's good. That means he's doing something outside of that. That Zeus, I think that's dope.

[Asante]

Absolutely.

[Dustin Ross]

Yeah.

[Asante]

Yeah. It was just funny because it's like he was right.

[Dustin Ross]

But you think about her age. You know what I'm saying? They watching that, so it makes.

[Asante]

Right.

[Dustin Ross]

I think that's actually dope. Yeah.

[Asante]

Yeah. It was cute because he looked good. So it's not a bad selection. But it was also cute to see her do some light choreo as well. So that's why I'm just liking the fact that she's teasing us with just little things. Here and there. When artists give you, like, a. A full, like, strong single, but it also can show you that there is potential. That is an amazing thing. So shout out to Sarai if you want. Go check out her music video on YouTube. Again, the song is called Late Night. And that is it for this portion. Yes. Now, her fans.

[Dustin Ross]

Her fans should call themselves Psoriasis.

[Francesca]

Wow.

[Asante]

Now we're gonna move on to the Listens lately portion of this songs to play. Friend, I would like to know what songs that you've been playing because I don't acknowledge what just happened.

[Francesca]

You just inspired me. So I'm going to play Cheryl Crow, Strong Enough. And Tears of Rage I cannot Buy. I'd be the last to help you understand. Are you strong enough to be my man? My man? Nothing's true and nothing's right. So let me be alone tonight. Cause you can't change the way I am. Are you strong enough to be my

[Dustin Ross]

best

[Francesca]

L to me I promise, I believe Lie to me but please don't leave. Ah, that record.

[Dustin Ross]

Classic shit.

[Asante]

You know what Cheryl Crowe was doing?

[Francesca]

What?

[Asante]

No.

[Dustin Ross]

She was strumming their pain with her fingers. She was. She. Her white hand. She was strumming her pain with her fingers, playing that guitar. That's what she was doing.

[Francesca]

While the song was playing, I was telling the guys how. I feel like we just had a very different listening ear. And was it, like, emotional depth? I don't know what to call it. Cause we were so young.

[Dustin Ross]

McDonald's. We was eating at McDonald's.

[Francesca]

We were so young, listening to these types of records. We were listening to Red Hot Chili Peppers. What's the song you said? Dustin?

[Dustin Ross]

Under the bridge.

[Francesca]

No, the other one you said that we were listening to.

[Dustin Ross]

Which one?

[Francesca]

I forgot. You literally just said it.

[Dustin Ross]

Oh, I'm gonna play it. I'm gonna play it. I'm gonna play it. I'm gonna play it.

[Francesca]

But, you know, it's like we were in middle school just with some records and, you know, I don't know. I just feel like the kids now. I don't hear them.

[Dustin Ross]

What they saying now? Right there, like that.

[Francesca]

Now they're like coconut water, no shade.

[Dustin Ross]

It's a really cute song. And shout out to everybody that, like,

[Francesca]

is a cute song. The boys.

[Asante]

I'm with you.

[Francesca]

My other pick holds on. Let me go back to my library.

[Dustin Ross]

I actually. Yeah.

[Francesca]

What you gonna. So Rory. Remember Rory?

[Asante]

Yes.

[Francesca]

Black Odyssey and Lucky Day dropped a. I know, right? Dropped the record called Still Be Mine. And this is how it goes.

[Asante]

I didn't Mean what I said last night. I know honesty is the best policy. I hope that you bother me and

[Dustin Ross]

I was hoping that.

[Asante]

You see, I live for your sanity, taking responsibility.

[Francesca]

And that's so good. The gospel.

[Dustin Ross]

What's the name of that?

[Francesca]

It Still Be Mine by Rory Black. Odyssey and Lucky Day. So good, right?

[Asante]

Yeah.

[Francesca]

I love how they flipped that in the. The hook. Yeah, the melodies on the hook. Look, my last record is going to be. Hold on, let me type his. I always spell his name off. Black has a new Black dropped an album. Yes, we're very happy about that. It's called. It's called Love is the New Gangster. And he has a record with Quinn,

[Dustin Ross]

My Girl, Shout out, and their baby Blaze.

[Francesca]

Yes. So. And we had an episode many years years ago with Quinn. That's an amazing episode. So definitely check that out when you can. But he has a record with Quinn and it's called out of Body.

[Dustin Ross]

They made great music together.

[Francesca]

These feelings got too serious

[Dustin Ross]

can't promise

[Francesca]

I won't do too much

[Dustin Ross]

Cause once you got me open up

[Francesca]

Floodgates never

[Dustin Ross]

close easy

[Francesca]

Same much about it can't

[Dustin Ross]

go without it Baby

[Asante]

inside a body

[Dustin Ross]

don't see nobody else I love you till the.

[Francesca]

Love you till I found myself I

[Dustin Ross]

just want to like you My days with you and I keep you close. We got another one, y'. All.

[Francesca]

Great. Those are my three for this week.

[Dustin Ross]

All right, let's get it.

[Asante]

What about you, Dustin Ross? What you want to play for the people?

[Dustin Ross]

All right, well, first of all, shout out to friend and the black business of the week, the Hugh, what was it? Hugh Candle.

[Francesca]

Hugh Darling.

[Dustin Ross]

They was in Missouri City. That's Houston. And one thing I know about Houston is they go up when they play this. Shout out to. To the nigga Zero. This is Mo City Don. This is a Houston classic anthem. You play this around anybody from Houston, they gonna go up. And when you said Missouri City. My brother used to live there. My brother and my sister in law who just became an AKA Shout out to her. But congratulations. We love you.

[Francesca]

Congrats.

[Dustin Ross]

But yes, Mo City dime by Zero and watch Houston go crazy. Wait till Carrie hear this on the show.

[Francesca]

We love you, Carrie.

[Dustin Ross]

Zero to crooked. I know y' all been waiting on this here. Yeah. Rip Big Mellow. Screw my po Big Boo Gator all the father soldier man. South side, east side, west side, north side. Know what I'm saying? All my partners out of your dead pocket. I still feel stressed still gotta get something off my chest. Why these whole be doing what they Be doing. Oh no though we gonna stay too deep in the photo Slow lighting, banging all in my trunk Trunk full of funk I ain't never been a punk

[Asante]

I blow on Skunk, I blow on

[Dustin Ross]

Dozier Military minded I'm a soldier out the streets of the Ridge mud fold Anyway, so yeah, Houston shit.

[Asante]

Hell yeah, I'm with it Heavy.

[Francesca]

Hell yeah.

[Dustin Ross]

Out to that.

[Francesca]

That's a good throwback.

[Dustin Ross]

The next song I'mma play actually comes from the show too. When Fran was just talking about white. White music from our past.

[Francesca]

I thought another one of those episodes.

[Dustin Ross]

Another VH1 ass episode. Right? But yeah. Building a Mystery by Sarah McLaughlin. Anybody that used to go to school and had played played VH1 in the mornings. You remember this song? And shout out to my cousin Misty. Cuz she used to like this memory. I love you, missy.

[Francesca]

You come out at night that's when the energy comes and the dark side's light when the vampires roam you stretch your ass to wear and your suicide

[Dustin Ross]

porn At a cross from a faith

[Francesca]

that died before Jesus came in Building a mystery. Church.

[Dustin Ross]

Yep. But that's Building a mystery by Sarah McLaughlin. The last song I'm gonna play is a gospel song. And I don't give a. It's one of my favorite gospel songs. Like, this song makes me feel good. And I really want some opportunities to come my way. So I'm gonna play this song. It's called Open Door Season by Dietrich. It. That's right. He's opening door.

[Francesca]

Come on. You need a roll.

[Dustin Ross]

Opening. It's open door season. God damn it.

[Francesca]

Let's go.

[Dustin Ross]

That's the one cuss word it should be okay to say. Cause it's got God in it. God damn it. Okay, that's it for me this week. God damn it.

[Asante]

All right, well, since I played that, since I discussed Sheryl Crow and friend played the Sheryl Crow song. I just want to play if it makes you happy. Because that would make me happy. Here's how it goes.

[Dustin Ross]

Thanks.

[Francesca]

You happy?

[Asante]

I've been alone.

[Francesca]

Of the air. Put on a pawn show made for mosquitoes and drank till I was thirsty again we went searching through thrift store jungles.

[Asante]

Found your Geronimo's rifle, Maryland shampoo and Benny Goodman's corset and pen. Okay, I made this up.

[Francesca]

I promised you I'd never give up. Nothing makes you happy. It can't be that sad. If it makes you happy, then why the hell are you so sad?

[Asante]

So yes, Cheryl, a forever jam. I'm just waiting for her to Come out and disgrace Kid Rock as well. But, you know, we'll save Keisha Cole in this next thing.

[Dustin Ross]

I'm gonna play with Keisha Cole and Cheryl Crow. I was about to say Cheryl Underwood pushed Keisha Cole in the Cheryl Crow tribute because she could have belted that chorus out. Go ahead, Asante.

[Asante]

This is not a new song.

[Dustin Ross]

Yeah. And laughed. It's open door season, friend.

[Asante]

You can't be like that.

[Dustin Ross]

Gotta open the mic.

[Asante]

I put Cheryl Underwood next to Keisha Cole, and them both auditioned, and it just went crazy, man.

[Francesca]

Cheryl Underwood.

[Asante]

Because he almost said that. That at first. Next artist I'm gonna play this song is not a new song. Actually went.

[Dustin Ross]

It can't be.

[Asante]

It can't be that bad.

[Dustin Ross]

Goddamn. If it make you that happy, God damn it, you can't be that bad. Goddamn it.

[Asante]

They said they wanted me to play Pharaoh Crow, and I said, who am I to say no?

[Francesca]

I literally saw Dustin's face building. I was like, he's building the bit. He's building the bit. Oh, I saw you look up and your cheeks popped out. I said,

[Dustin Ross]

It's in me, you know? Yes.

[Francesca]

Oh, that was so funny.

[Asante]

This artist, they released this song, and it actually has grown popular for the remix, but I didn't know that the original sounded different from the remix. And y' all probably have no idea what I'm about. Well, you might have a little bit of idea. Pink Panthers, she released a song called Stateside, and it's featuring Zara Lawson Larson. Zara somebody, the white girl, whoever, the white person.

[Dustin Ross]

I hear good stuff about her. I hear very good stuff.

[Asante]

She's a good one. She's a good one. She's one of the ones that stand out.

[Dustin Ross]

Yeah.

[Francesca]

She gives me, like.

[Asante]

She's got personality.

[Francesca]

Spears era of pop music, whether it's like, just the dancing, the personality, the outfits, she's coming. She's.

[Asante]

She's invigorating. Interesting. And she's cutting through, so I'm paying attention.

[Dustin Ross]

Ain't she in the beehive, too, Too. I hear good things about her.

[Asante]

I believe so.

[Dustin Ross]

Yeah.

[Asante]

I believe so. Well, anyway, Pink Panthers, the song went popular because of the remix with Zara Larson. I just hope I'm saying the name right.

[Dustin Ross]

I like.

[Francesca]

You are.

[Asante]

I like Pink Panthers. Right. And I actually don't like. We just said, I like Zara Larson. The song Stateside came out, and I like the song. I like the record. But the remake, I mean, the original with just Pink Panthers, I thought I heard it, and I was like. Like, this Is interesting. Like, I had it. Like, first of all, we like Panthers, as we just said. So to hear the original, I was like, I have to share this because I just like the way that this one sounds. But I'm not going to play both of them. If y' all happen to hear the other one out somewhere cool, then you'll know what I'm talking about. But this is called Stateside and it's by Pink Panthers. And here's how it goes I'm freezing

[Francesca]

outside I feel my skin tight My coat is inside but I look up at you know I tracked your pain ride for when you're in tonight Tell me when is the next time I'll run into you it sounds insane but I'll take the same flight Way at

[Dustin Ross]

your bed side around right next to

[Francesca]

you I'm getting Stateside where I'll see

[Dustin Ross]

you tonight Tell me how did a

[Francesca]

girl like me get into you? No one treats me this way. They said they tweeted. Which one. Which one is Alcatraz?

[Dustin Ross]

The one in the bottom left. The bottom right, I think.

[Asante]

But yeah, shout out to Pink Panthers.

[Dustin Ross]

That song sound like the music they play when you check in at Equinox?

[Asante]

Like, we were in the lobby.

[Dustin Ross]

Like dark wood, you know? Yeah.

[Francesca]

That's so specific.

[Asante]

All right, last song I'm gonna play is from Blast B L X S T. He just released a project, and this song that I'm gonna play is called Something bout It. Here's how it goes.

[Dustin Ross]

Hey, yeah Back to the love again. Yeah don't take life too serious when

[Asante]

you gonna let it go?

[Dustin Ross]

Girl, I'm just curious and I'm finna hit a full run. You can act rude, but I know you in a mood for something. I was thinking about a road trip. You know that got power, baby we can get ghost sitting low Some old I put emotion over emotions girl I love when we sliding Pick me up every time all of a sudden we vibing Even though we fussing, we fight, we forget every time all we need is outside yeah it's something about this old school girl make the problems go away it's something about my old school love Something make you understand.

[Asante]

Shout out to I may have talked about black best well, I'm assuming. I'm just gonna assume it's not Blix, you know? Like, I don't. I don't know. It might be. I just assumed I was like, okay, Blast every time.

[Francesca]

Every time his name pops up on my. Spotifying Blix.

[Asante]

Yeah.

[Francesca]

Oh, God.

[Asante]

And maybe. Maybe this Blicks. Then, like, how did you get blast? And it's like, I don't know, because there's not supposed to be X there. Like, well, I don't know. But yes, that's from Bla X St.

[Francesca]

They love an X. Like the Cherry girl. It's a. Isn't it? Like chx.

[Asante]

Yeah. Y, C, H, X, R, R, Y. Yep. And I'll be having a. Like, I'm like, what do I say?

[Dustin Ross]

The Lils of this generation.

[Francesca]

Generation.

[Asante]

Okay, here's the thing. Y' all gotta look somebody in, because this is what these producer. Not producers. The corporate people be getting paid to do. Y' all need to tell these artists they can't do this shit because technology is calling for me to have to do voice shit now. So what the fuck do I look like? Because when I'm driving in the car and I want to change the song, if I'm like, hey, you know, play Blast.

[Francesca]

Play Blitz.

[Asante]

And it's like, right? Like, what am I supposed to say? What do I do? I'm not going to spell it out while I'm driving. I'm just going to play the next artist.

[Dustin Ross]

And how sophisticated. How sophisticated is this software? Because if I say blixed and this motherfucking car laughs. We don't have a problem. You're getting parked. I can tell you that.

[Asante]

Systems. Systems. Be real sophisticated. I seen the one with the Tesla was speaking patois. I was like, what the.

[Francesca]

Oh, I saw that.

[Dustin Ross]

Hey, Dustin's car. I know what you mean. Playing Blast, right?

[Asante]

Right.

[Francesca]

Sometimes that would actually be great.

[Asante]

I did say play Cherry, but I couldn't. Right. I. I did say funny, but I literally told. I literally told one of my devices to play Cherry one time, and it did say it back different, but I don't remember what the fuck it says.

[Francesca]

You're getting it right? And you not well, because what the

[Asante]

Am I supposed to say, like, right? I think it was something like that.

[Francesca]

Did you mean Chicks City?

[Asante]

Now, if it would have said it to me, I'd be like, just play the goddamn song.

[Francesca]

I'm not gonna do this with you.

[Asante]

Why don't you send her a message about her name being spelled like that? Don't correct me. I don't want to say it because I don't want to activate none of this shit.

[Dustin Ross]

So funny.

[Asante]

Okay, that's it for the Music man segment. Now we can move on to the. Oh, that's it for the Music man segment. Bow.

[Francesca]

All right.

[Dustin Ross]

You still reprogramming this week in tv, man? I don't know if y' all watched Love and Marriage, Huntsville Reunion, but it was literally one of the best reunions I've seen in a long time.

[Asante]

Really?

[Dustin Ross]

Versus Kimmy Scott.

[Francesca]

Oh, I don't know who Mel is.

[Dustin Ross]

If you watch this reunion, nail Fletcher, baby. Hell on Wheels. And I do mean wheels because her ankle was messed up, so.

[Francesca]

Oh, also, she says, I'm assuming this is a newer wife.

[Dustin Ross]

Yes, newer wife, huge family, totally has her own story. But she. She's been a part of the cast for probably like the past three or four seasons, I think.

[Francesca]

Okay, the Fletchers.

[Dustin Ross]

Yep. She's one of two new couples on there. Nell and Chris Fletcher.

[Asante]

She was one of the last. That was one of the last ones out seasons. I watched when Nell was on there, when she, like her son was. She was having issues with her son. Yeah, that was.

[Dustin Ross]

They always having issues.

[Asante]

We got.

[Dustin Ross]

We helping the kids and we got. Y' all always come to me. She always complaining about having to help their kids. Kids. Her husband just lost his real estate license for I think two years and that's coming. I don't know. It's just a lot of stuff.

[Francesca]

Oh, damn.

[Asante]

I like the husband.

[Dustin Ross]

The. Yeah, you know, they big on Tick Tock. They be dancing on Tick Tock. Look up Chris and Nell Fletcher. Asante on Tick Tock. They be dancing all the time on Tick Tock. You gonna be rolling. But yes, the reunion was incredible. Destiny Payton vs. Latisha Scott was incredible. It was just good. Very good question. So that was great. Bell Collective is back. The original. We just concluded the first season of Bell Collective Birmingham, which was a spinoff franchise, but Bell Collective, the original one in Jackson, it just resumed. They took a mid season break and it just resumed. So that episode, those episodes, I think they're two in to the season, have been great. Watch this stuff. This is black TV produced by a black person for your black ass to watch. Watch these shows and quit complaining about ain't no black shows on show. Tear women down. You ain't watching the shit. Watching these shows even though these shows you are watching because they're actually highly successful. Moving on, because y' all get my point, period. The Real Housewives of Atlanta is having an incredible season 17. Incredible. You said incredible.

[Francesca]

It's making me want to watch.

[Dustin Ross]

Incredible. Everybody needs to come back. Phaedra's even starting to have good scenes. Like, everybody needs to come back. K. Michelle is having a difficult season and a very, very obtuse of the flow of the show, but hopefully, I assume that they will all be back next season. And I think that she'll kind of get into her groove then. At least that's what I'm hoping. But. But the season is good. Season 17 is awesome.

[Francesca]

You feel she's not, like, merging with the.

[Dustin Ross]

Yeah.

[Francesca]

Oh, okay.

[Asante]

I just wonder what the reunion's gonna be like.

[Dustin Ross]

A bloodbath. Hopefully. I want carnage.

[Asante]

Hopefully.

[Dustin Ross]

That's what I want at that reunion. Talk it out. And I want Shamia and Portia's moms to come. I think they need to come and sit on that stage so we can really get to the bottom of this shit.

[Francesca]

Her mom. Mom's plural.

[Dustin Ross]

Well, Shamia's mom and Portia's mom.

[Asante]

Yeah.

[Francesca]

Okay. I was like, oh, how modern.

[Dustin Ross]

We want their moms to come and talk it out because that's the root of their conflict.

[Asante]

How modern for their generation.

[Dustin Ross]

Well, it's Atlanta, but yeah. So, yeah, those things have been great. I'm gonna watch this show called Maternal Ins Instinct on Netflix that.

[Francesca]

Nick, wait, tell me more.

[Dustin Ross]

Ohio. Nikki said it was good. She tweeted about it or she put it on her Instagram story. And I trust her. So I was like, you know what? I'm gonna watch whatever.

[Asante]

Is that the documentary?

[Dustin Ross]

I don't know nothing about it. I just saw it. Literally, the story stops and starts with me seeing or starts and stops with

[Asante]

me seeing her story. Seen it. Seen it.

[Dustin Ross]

And you have to watch.

[Asante]

See, we got two for two. You have to watch it. You have to.

[Francesca]

Wait, let me look this up, cuz

[Asante]

I'm sure I saw the COVID Maternal Instincts is a griping true crime documentary on Netflix that chronicles the harrowing 2020 case of Taylor Parker. After faking her pregnancy for months, Parker murdered her pregnant friend and took the baby from her womb. The film uses dash cam footage, body cams, and interviews to detail the horrific deception. Whoa, you talking about a. Talking about a.

[Dustin Ross]

That's going to burn in hell

[Asante]

and deserves it and, motherfucker, y' all know how I am. Y' all know I'm a softie. But for that, everything that this woman

[Dustin Ross]

has done, they down there. They down there squeezing bottles of Kingsford lighter fluid on the coals right now. Waiting on her ass.

[Asante]

You hear me? Because she is.

[Francesca]

She's toast.

[Dustin Ross]

Literally.

[Asante]

You have to. You have to watch it. You have to watch it.

[Francesca]

Justin also watched the violin.

[Dustin Ross]

Okay, I will.

[Asante]

Oh, you. You ain't watched it?

[Dustin Ross]

I got like 15 minutes in distracted, but I'mma watch.

[Francesca]

Understand Books. The first episode is usually, you know,

[Dustin Ross]

what did it for me.

[Asante]

For real.

[Francesca]

Five episodes in the music thing, like

[Dustin Ross]

in the first episode when they be, like, singing the performance.

[Francesca]

Right?

[Asante]

Yeah.

[Francesca]

I don't know whose idea now.

[Asante]

I would skip past that.

[Dustin Ross]

Why is this.

[Francesca]

I don't know.

[Asante]

I would skip past that.

[Francesca]

I don't know whose idea it is. It's not memorable. I never see people refer back to.

[Dustin Ross]

And it's gonna make it make me look at that. The contestants, they're corny friendly.

[Pharmaceutical Announcer]

Right?

[Dustin Ross]

You know, because why would you even participate?

[Francesca]

Dustin Sierra for a shot at fame.

[Asante]

Dustin Sierra from Summer House. She makes. She's making. She's made an appearance, and she's also one of the two new hosts for after Good and fr.

[Francesca]

Oh, maybe they're looking for a replacement soon for Adriana. Is that how you say her name? Ariana.

[Pharmaceutical Announcer]

Excuse me?

[Francesca]

Cuz I know she can't do it for that long.

[Asante]

Well, so this is just for after sun, but when they came into the villa, I did notice that, you know, they were the guests and Ariana wasn't there. So I was kind of like, why do people.

[Dustin Ross]

Y' all don't like Ariana host? I don't know. So.

[Asante]

No, no, no, no.

[Francesca]

It's usually rotate the whole side.

[Dustin Ross]

Yeah.

[Francesca]

Like. Yeah. After a certain amount of years, because, I mean, you know, it's. But so many years, you're gonna walk out there. I'm sure the host be over it.

[Asante]

Right? And Fran, it was. It's funny that you say that, though, because Ariana wasn't there for, like, they're like a, you know, their guest appearance. But I was like, now y' all play having Sierra up here now because y' all gonna make me want to see her.

[Dustin Ross]

Sierra is not around. She was on the COVID Harper's Bazaar, I think it was. She is in the lead in Shaboozi's new video. And it's very cute. Very cute. Yup.

[Francesca]

Is Sierra the one that had the, like, the cheating thing or her friends? Oh, so it's another Ariana.

[Asante]

So it's literally the Ariana Grande Ariana Maddox special. Like, it's like, all right, I see

[Dustin Ross]

people saying two things. I see some people comparing it to that scandal, and then I see some, like, avid watchers of Vanderpump rules who are like, this does not the same. It does not compare. Whatever. Whatever.

[Asante]

See, I don't watch.

[Francesca]

Well, I was gonna say I can't really speak because I never watched that. Is it Summer House?

[Asante]

Yeah, she's from.

[Francesca]

I never watched that. But I'm saying more in terms of, like, scandal happens to you even on

[Dustin Ross]

the surface, that's the expectation because of what we saw happen over in Vanderpump Rules. So everybody kind of. Right when this happened, everybody kind of was like, okay, what y' all gonna do? Everybody, like, put her in the machine. She needs the same opportunity.

[Francesca]

She's a black woman.

[Dustin Ross]

Yeah. A nurse. She's beautiful and smart. Like, yeah. So. But yeah.

[Asante]

And, Dustin, to your point, first of all, for the Love Islanders, after sun is like, the recap show that they do on the Saturdays. I am an avid avoider of after sun, but because our girl was on there, Dustin, I was like, let me just watch After Sun. And Frank, it's a good one because they talk to the. They talk. You know how they go. But it was funny who they talked to, so I had to watch for that, too. I was like, oh, but you know who went home first, right? Friend.

[Francesca]

Yes. Because Twitter spoiled it. And that's my badge for going on there knowing they're gonna spoil it.

[Asante]

It was interesting watching after sun because they get. They give them their phones, and they, like, showed them. You know, like, they showed them, like, going through all the comments and stuff like that and the reaction that this person received from. They, like, like, oh, yeah, let's watch them go through their DMS and stuff. And it's all fun and games until they start getting some of the darker comments. So I was like, damn, this is kind of cool, but damn. Like, that kind of. Kind of weird. The person that went home first, they had a. Basically, their job spoke up against them,

[Francesca]

and it was like. I saw that. Yeah.

[Asante]

The police, they were saying, yeah, but it was crazy because they were like, damn right. When I left, they actually gave me a bunch of medals and all this other stuff. And then apparently, the people from.

[Dustin Ross]

I ain't mean to cut you off.

[Asante]

Well, because he said that he asked for the. He asked for the time off, and it was approved. So basically, he felt like he left on good terms. So for them to turn around and not use. Use this as an opportunity to, like, empower somebody from their force that, you know, had been visible and to just be like, no, actually, the fact that we paid all these tax dollars just for them to go to Love island is crazy. Like, it's like, wow, he literally just saved somebody. And so apparently the families or whatever that just. He had just saved from some burning house, they spoke out against that, too. They were like, he's great. He was beautiful. A fine officer, blah, blah, blah. So I was like, this Is kind of fucked up. But also I know that the tv.

[Dustin Ross]

I wish I would. You want to talk about player hater of the year. I wish I would quit a job, have some success in another way and have the job, be bitter about it and talk out the way I would have.

[Francesca]

They just wanted the clout, spread my

[Dustin Ross]

ass and been like, lick here with an arrow. Are you crazy?

[Francesca]

And I highly doubt he's gonna have to go back because the opportunities that are about to open for him.

[Dustin Ross]

He probably before I went back.

[Asante]

He's a good man in probably probably definitely wanted to go back, you know, going into it. But after seeing that and the doors that are about to be open, Kiss my ass.

[Dustin Ross]

I can cop in the movie now, cuz I'm famous.

[Asante]

Ho.

[Francesca]

Yeah, right. And people found him handsome. Like he's going to be straight.

[Asante]

Why when they posted that though his sister had gotten the comments defending him and like, you know, saying this should have been used as an opportunity to uplift, yada, yada yada. And so when he facetime his sister right there, she was like, I got beef with the mayor. It was so funny. I'm only telling you, Frank, because I know, you know gonna watch after.

[Dustin Ross]

Oh yeah. Cuz this is happening all the.

[Francesca]

After Suns and all the games.

[Asante]

Well, so that was like. Yeah, but that was like their re. Yeah, so that's their like recap of like all the stuff that's happened over the week and then talking to the people that have left the villa. But yes, Love island has been. I've been enjoying it this season, friend. Damn. You do this to me every year and you ain't even do it to me. I just want to be prepared. And I'm glad I'm prepared.

[Dustin Ross]

Sorry, bro. These make me sad. I just want y' all to know

[Francesca]

I see you over there having a ball.

[Asante]

If it makes you happy, you might be a cause.

[Dustin Ross]

Who else on that note anyway, Ty got a lot of bleeping to do this week, don't he?

[Francesca]

Oh, is that the end?

[Dustin Ross]

That's the end that is.

[Asante]

That's all for me, folks.

[Francesca]

That means that is all for us. We hope you enjoyed this week's episode. We appreciate you. We do not take you for granted. We love you and we will catch you guys next week.

[Dustin Ross]

All right?

[Asante]

Stay black and protect your magic.

[Francesca]

Bye y'. All.

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