Podcast Summary
Podcast: The Futur with Chris Do
Episode: Identity, Style, and Belonging w/ Priscilla Lau (Ep 380)
Date: September 13, 2025
Episode Overview
This candid conversation between Chris Do and Priscilla Lau explores the nuanced intersections of identity, personal style, belonging, and the journey of self-discovery—especially as they manifest in life, career, and creative pursuits. Drawing on their own stories as Asian Americans in creative industries, the pair discuss finding one's "why," developing a personal brand, the challenges and freedoms of self-expression, and lessons learned from coaching, parenthood, and striving to live meaningfully.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
Building Relationships & Partnerships in the Creator Economy
- Priscilla describes her work as centering on building meaningful partnerships and communities, particularly within the creator economy.
- Partnerships are about "connecting with someone, understanding what value you can bring from a professional standpoint," drawing from her years at Google, YouTube, and as a sales/account manager.
(02:00–03:01)
Defining Your "Why" and Life's Second Act
- Chris reflects on the evolution from needing to make money to seeking purpose beyond financial incentive:
"The first phase of your life is about making money, making a living...after you've made enough money...then you have to start thinking, okay, now what do I do with the rest of my life?"
(04:10, Chris Do) - Teaching and service, outside of a religious context, is central to his ongoing journey.
Facing Identity, Belonging, and Representation
- Chris and Priscilla candidly recount childhood experiences of feeling "othered" as Asian Americans, discussing the pain of discrimination and the intense desire to fit in.
- Chris: "For a long time...I did not enjoy being Asian American at all. It was the source of a lot of emotional, physical pain..." (07:02)
- Priscilla reflects on shifts in friendship circles and self-awareness regarding racial identity growing up in LA's San Fernando Valley and how community and belonging have changed over time.
(11:04–12:31)
- The conversation highlights the evolution from hiding one’s identity to embracing and expressing it boldly.
Expressing Yourself Through Style and Fashion
- Fashion as Personal Branding: Chris equates personal style choices (like his man purse and "skirt pants") with branding and icebreakers in social settings:
"I realize I'm not good at starting conversations...the tool is an icebreaker. It's a conversation starter."
(22:56, Chris Do) - Clothes as Tools:
"I think of clothes as tools...what is the job and what's the tool?" (19:18, Chris Do)
- The context (parenting, travel, public speaking) shapes their choices, with Priscilla sharing the shift in priorities after motherhood.
The Journey Inward: Knowing and Loving Yourself
- Self-awareness, permission to evolve, and continuous personal exploration are emphasized:
"The journey outward is finite, the journey inward is infinite." (19:18, Chris Do)
Zone of Genius & Flow State
- Discussion on what constitutes a "zone of genius"—not necessarily Einstein-level brilliance, but an area where you have innate advantage, skill, and passion.
- Exercise for Listeners:
Chris encourages mapping out skills, what pays well, passions, and what the world needs—then connecting the dots to discover one's gift.
(28:42–34:02)"Zone of genius...means you're operating in a place where you can play at an advantage without a lot of effort, more so than a lot of other people." (28:42, Chris Do)
- Chris’s own zone: Live teaching, making complex things simple, and bringing playful improvisation to group sessions.
Becoming the "2%" Who Take Action
- Only a small fraction of people (“the 2%”) actually follow through on ambitions or new projects.
- Chris’s advice:
"Be a cheap bastard...Immerse yourself in the culture, the game, the mechanics...at some point in your life, it will pay you back. Not always obvious when, but it will pay you back." (36:18–41:42)
- Chris’s advice:
- Real excellence comes from intense curiosity, deep dives, and commitment—advice illustrated with personal stories.
Parenting, Legacy, and Living on Your Own Terms
- Both guests weigh the blessings and sacrifices of parenthood, especially for mothers.
- Chris:
"I want to go to my grave with a very specific story for my children. That you've got this one precious life. Live it to your fullest." (44:16)
- Priscilla:
On legacy and loss, she draws comfort and purpose from helping others, referencing both personal bereavement and wisdom from Luke 12:48.
(46:19)
The Liberating Power of Self-Expression and Adventure
- Claiming autonomy and identity gives freedom—whether through fashion, work, or life choices.
- Priscilla finds joy in small adventures, reminding listeners, "there’s a lot of things to explore," suggesting hope and optimism despite life's responsibilities.
(49:15–49:55)
Notable Quotes
-
"I want to be sitting on my deathbed, knowing that I went for it...that I lived in a loud, brave way. I'm not a loud person. I think I'm brave in little things that mean something to me."
— Priscilla quoting Chelsea Handler (05:45) -
"If you go deeply into something that you're passionate about, don't stop. Go all the way down...at some point in your life, it will pay you back."
— Chris Do (41:12) -
"There is freedom in knowing yourself."
— Priscilla Lau (17:22) -
"Zone of genius means you're operating in a place where you can play at an advantage without a lot of effort, more so than a lot of other people."
— Chris Do (28:42) -
"Children are born perfect. It's your parenting that's messing them up."
— Chris Do, quoting Sadhguru (45:15)
Important Timestamps
- 03:34 – Priscilla asks Chris about his core "why"
- 07:02 – Chris recalls childhood experiences of racial discrimination
- 12:31 – Priscilla reflects on shifts in personal identity and vulnerability in discussing race
- 16:59 – Chris and Priscilla discuss how style evolves after major life changes
- 19:18 – "Clothes as tools" and the philosophy of intentional dressing
- 22:56 – Personal style as a social tool/icebreaker; branding
- 26:35 – On defining your personal brand with two-word hybrids
- 28:42 – Exploring "zone of genius" vs. zone of excellence; practical exercise
- 36:18 – The "2%" who make things happen; diving deeply into passions
- 44:16 – On legacy, parenting, and living for oneself as an example for children
- 45:12 – Reflecting on parenthood, self-fulfillment, and children’s autonomy
- 46:19 – Responsibility, mortality, and service as values
- 49:15 – Embracing adventure and hope for the future
Closing Thoughts
The episode is a rich exploration of what it means to know, express, and accept oneself—and how those processes shape our work, relationships, and legacy. With humor and vulnerability, Chris and Priscilla illuminate the challenges of identity, the mechanics of personal branding in life and business, and the enduring quest for purpose and fulfillment. Their stories, questions, and practical wisdom offer a valuable toolkit for anyone navigating creativity, professional development, or simply the journey of becoming themselves.