484. Girls’ Rights Are Human Rights with Jessica Fostekew and special guests Claire Mahon and Julia Rowland - part one

Summary

The Guilty Feminist, Episode 484: Girls’ Rights Are Human Rights (Part One)

Host: Deborah Frances-White
Co-Host: Jessica Fostekew
Guests (in Part Two): Claire Mahon, Julia Rowland
Date: May 25, 2026
Location: Recorded live at the Museum of Comedy, London

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Guilty Feminist, titled “Girls’ Rights Are Human Rights,” brings together host Deborah Frances-White, co-host and comedian Jessica Fostekew, and a future panel of experts to explore the current state of women’s and girls’ rights in the UK and globally. In part one, listeners are treated to the signature blend of confessional comedy, pointed cultural commentary, and razor-sharp jokes about feminism’s daily struggles and the broader threats posed by the far right, particularly in the “Road to Gilead” context.

The first half is a warm-up built on personal anecdotes, sharp political satire (especially in the “Right Wing News” monologue), and a fresh stand-up set from Jessica Fostekew. The episode also underscores the urgency of grassroots resistance and organizing, balancing heavy themes with the much-loved Guilty Feminist humor.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. "I'm a Feminist, But..." Confessions (05:51–15:45)

• Classic Segment: The hosts revisit the recurring segment where they and the audience admit to “feminist fails” or personal hypocrisies.
  • Financial apathy: Jessica confesses, “I don’t really know what an ISA is. ...I don’t care.” (05:51)
  • Literary overload: Jessica admits struggling with a supposedly highbrow audiobook. (06:05)
  • ‘Vintage’ embarrassment: Deborah shares a blunder mistaking “Vintage Books” for “Vinted” at a feminist event in Parliament, in front of Laura Bates. “Is this event sponsored by Vinted?” (07:30)
  • Relationship quirks: Jessica laments her wife’s hilarious word mix-ups, worrying she might not notice dementia if it came. (09:34)
  • Men and memory: Deborah jokes about heterosexual male partners’ lack of attention to emotional details in relationships. (10:58)
  • Misidentification at the gym: Jessica describes an awkward moment greeting a stranger she thought was her friend’s husband. (12:37–15:25)
  • Politics and ignorance: Deborah admits she originally thought Project 2025 was a WeWork initiative. (11:56)

Notable Quote:
“Sometimes critics give things five stars because they want other people to think they're very clever. ...Sometimes I think they go, ‘Oh, this is very difficult. I'll give it five stars. Then everyone will know how clever I am.’” – Deborah Frances-White (06:24)

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2. Audience Banter & Live Show Warm-up (15:46–19:59)

• Deborah welcomes new and returning audience members, explains the podcast format, and teases “couples therapy” as a potential future show.
• The “Road to Gilead” series is introduced, emphasizing it’s not defeatist but about “how to do a U-turn” away from dystopian politics.

Notable Quote:
“It’s not, ‘We would like to get a lift to Gilead on the road.’ It’s, ‘Oh, God, we're on the road. Where’s the turn? We've missed the turnoff again. Oh, shit, we’ve missed the turnoff. We've got to find a roundabout.’” – Deborah Frances-White (20:12)

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3. Road to Gilead: Right Wing News Monologue (20:00–36:10)

Deborah delivers a detailed, satirical monologue on the state of the British right, using Nigel Farage as her focal point:

• Nigel Farage’s financial scandals:

  • Farage received a secret £5 million “gift” from crypto billionaire Christopher Harborne.
  • Farage claimed the money was for his “personal security,” but later said it rewarded 27 years of Brexit campaigning.
  • The timeline and Farage’s multiple, contradictory explanations for the money are picked apart.
  • Farage became an MP in 2024 and claimed special security status denied to most MPs but was later downgraded.
  • He’s avoided in-person constituency surgeries, holding private, unpublicized Zoom meetings, and at one point, selling personal “cameos” for up to £3,752.

• Satirical take on Farage’s claims:

  • Deborah lampoons his self-victimization, noting, “Men are very entitled, aren’t they? I just expect it. I expect I will be Prime Minister.” (24:09)
  • She pokes at Farage’s claim of public danger, “If you really feel that anxious about your own constituents, just say, put a little metal detector.” (28:59)
  • She eviscerates his shifting story about the £5 million: “He claims he was already putting in an offer on the house. ...You might know you were getting that five million quid, mightn’t you, before you got it as well?” (29:50)

• Wider context—American parallels:

  • Trump’s lawsuits and failed fundraising “scams”
  • The risk of British politics going “full Gilead” with authoritarian drift

• Ray of hope:

  • Deborah lists Reform Party councillors elected in local elections and already ousted for racism, antisemitism, or various scandals—a sign that far-right “gains” are precarious.

Notable Quotes:

• “He's not done that. So he's just said out loud with his mouth, I am the most physically attacked politician in modern British history.” – Deborah Frances-White (24:59)
• “...if we can just keep up these numbers, guys, by the end of next month we won’t have any [Reform councillors] at all.” (35:22)

Timestamps for This Section:

• Farage’s £5 million security “gift”: 20:38–25:00
• Critique of constituency engagement and cameo saga: 25:00–29:50
• Farage’s shifting explanations and investigation: 29:50–32:45
• Parallels with Trump and concluding right wing news: 32:46–36:10

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4. Stand-Up Comedy: Jessica Fostekew (37:06–45:06)

Jessica delivers a tight set about tolerance, British class quirks, and middle-aged women’s visibility:

• Encountering poshness and British exceptionalism:
  • On a French ski lift, she eavesdrops on posh Britons defending the right to shoot teenage trespassers.
  • She reveals her nationality mid-conversation—“Whoa, I like your rucksack”—only to hear their ongoing defenses.

Memorable exchange:

• Jessica: “...I said, oh, it's lovely to meet you too. Have a good day skiing. And I'll remember to never accidentally trespass on your land.”

• Posh man: “Good, then we'll both be happy.” (41:20)

• Small-town news and pageant culture:

  • A woman named Sue enters “Ms Great Britain,” a pageant for over-45s, “to raise awareness of middle aged women.” Jessica riffs on the absurdity, imagining it as a disease.

Quote:
“I want people running marathons. I want to see sheets thrown over pitch up tables in service stations with men there with plastic buckets saying, for five pounds a month, you can silence a perimenopausal woman for hours.” (42:47)

• Applying to be a “town of culture”:
  • Jessica jokes she could be recognized as a town: “Unendingly scruffy, particularly uninviting at night, increasingly finding everything shuts down at some point in the afternoon...”

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Notable Quotes and Memorable Moments

• “I lay back and thought of England. Five stars.” – Deborah Frances-White, mocking how to endure a difficult audiobook (07:19)
• “Vinted is like Fortnite for women in their 40s.” – Ref from Amy Mason via Jessica (09:17)
• “If you’re here with someone you shouldn’t be here with, don’t speak up. ...Don’t you say it. I can’t say it.” – Deborah, teasing the crowd (17:00)
• “What happens if Commander Fred had AI?” – Deborah, sketching her modern dystopia (20:38)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• “I’m a Feminist, But…” confessions: 05:51–15:45
• Live show warm-up, intro to Gilead: 15:46–20:12
• Road to Gilead/Right Wing News (Farage Monologue): 20:13–36:10
• Stand-up by Jessica Fostekew: 37:06–45:06
• End of Part One: 45:07

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Tone and Style

• Warm, confessional, immersive: The episode’s tone is highly conversational, blending intimacy and self-awareness with pithy satire.
• Satirical and irreverent: Especially in political segments, with a knack for bringing levity to dire material.
• Inclusive and live: The hosts address and interact with the audience frequently, reinforcing the show’s grassroots, community feel.

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Useful for New Listeners

Part One is an inviting, energetic introduction to pressing feminist topics, establishing the show’s style and values. It’s particularly valuable for those interested in:

• The intersection of daily feminist struggles and broader political threats
• British political satire with a feminist edge
• Comedy about middle age, class, and gender

Note:
Part Two (the panel discussion with Claire Mahon and Julia Rowland) is teased for a “deep dive” on the rights of women and girls, but the substantive conversation with them starts in the next episode.

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End of Part One Summary

Transcript

[Deborah Frances-White]

Hello, guilty feminists. I want to talk about something that half the population experiences and the other half should probably understand better gynecological health. Because so many of us grew up with patchy information, some pretty weird myths and general feeling that we should probably just not talk about it. That's why I'm delighted to tell you about Bloody Powerful the Taboo Busting Guide to Periods, Menopause and Everything in between by Dr. Brooke van der Molen, illustrated by Hazel Mead and published by Cambridge University Press. This book is a warm, clear and genuinely empowering guide to everything you probably didn't get taught in school, from understanding your periods to navigating menopause and all the confusing questions in between. Dr. Brook van der Molen is a practicing gynaecology doctor. You might know her online as the Ob GYN Mum, and she answers so many of the questions we've all quite quietly googled at 2am it's also beautifully illustrated by Hazel Mead, which makes the whole thing feel accessible rather than clinical. If you'd like to learn more or give it to someone who deserves better information about their body, visit cambridge.org bloodypowerful and you can get 20% off with the code bloodypowerful20 at checkout. Because knowledge about our bodies shouldn't be taboo, it should be bloody powerful.

[Jessica Kavaska]

Get the Ice Cream Love Big Freezer,

[Deborah Frances-White]

It's by the Peas.

[Public Service Announcer]

Some things are really best not to put off, like defrosting the freezer or if you're a landlord sending a copy of the new Government information sheet to your existing tenants. You must do this by 31 May or risk a fine. Make sure you're up to date with the new laws. Find the information [e-mail] renting is changing.

[Deborah Frances-White]

So good, so good, so good.

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[Deborah Frances-White]

Hello, guilty feminists. On the 17th of June, I'll be

[Event Announcer]

doing a Guilty Feminist in conversation with Tracy Emin as part of Harry Styles Meltdown Festival at the South Bank. That sounds too cool for me, but I'm going to do it anyway. On 18 July, the guilty feminist will

[Deborah Frances-White]

be at the Ventnor Fringe on the Isle of Wight.

[Event Announcer]

Get tickets now and we'll be at the Edinburgh Fringe from the 20th to the 23rd of August.

[Deborah Frances-White]

For tickets to any of these, go

[Event Announcer]

to guiltyfeminist.com and click on live shows. Now, the Road to Gilead is specifically about the agenda of the far right. What we're doing is forming a joyful resistance and creating a better existence. We just don't want that to be shows. We want that to be open space events so you can come, have your say, collaborate with like minded people on creating real grassroots change that will shift the dial in your community. So we held a day with Amnesty International with the brilliant open space method, where anyone can call a space and people turn up and contribute to whatever it is you want to do. You don't have to have any ideas. You can just come and contribute to other people's open spaces. You can just sit and listen, you can flip from one to the other. It's a really, really brilliant method. But the last one was super successful. It was completely oversubscribed and we had other events that tuned in by Zoom and then did their own thing around the country. So if you would like to come to the next one in London, this one we're doing in association with Stonewall. It will be on 20 June. The thrust will be LGBTQ issues, but you do not have to be LGBTQ to attend. And there are lots of intersection between reproductive rights and LGBTQ rights, for example. So you can come and you can contribute in any way you like at all. So if you would like to come to the London one, or you would like to join the Zoom event where you come in remotely, wherever you are, or you would like to do a satellite event in your town and we can zoom together for parts of it and then you can do your full on breakout day, then that would be wonderful too. Last time we had a breakout group in Basingstoke and another one in Scotland and even a few people from Berlin. So if you would like to satellite, we would really encourage you to hold one locally. And then we will satellite in and then you do yours and then we satellite back in and we compare notes. At the end of the day, if you would just like to sign up for the London one, it's 10 pounds including lunch for the whole day. And at the end of the day there will be a live guilty feminist Stonewall episode in the same room that you can stay for if you want to. If you cannot afford the £10. We don't wish that to be a barrier for anyone, so just let [e-mail]. and we will figure it out. There's also the option to pay £20, and that means you will pay for someone else's space who can't pay. And that would, of course, be very helpful and a wonderful community thing to do. For more details about this, go to guiltyfeminist.com on the homepage. And now on with the podcast.

[Jessica Kavaska]

I'm a feminist, but I don't really know what an ISA is. And it's not because I don't. I'm not too thick to know what one is. It is. I don't care.

[Deborah Frances-White]

Oh, I hear that.

[Jessica Kavaska]

Yeah.

[Deborah Frances-White]

I don't care so much more.

[Jessica Kavaska]

I'm a feminist, but the audiobook I'm reading at the moment, I'm too thick for. It's called Cuddy. It's about an old monk, and I'm bored.

[Deborah Frances-White]

I don't think that's. That's not thick.

[Jessica Kavaska]

Five stars and everything.

[Deborah Frances-White]

Oh, that's annoying.

[Jessica Kavaska]

Yeah. Whenever someone has enjoyed that.

[Deborah Frances-White]

But sometimes critics give things five stars because they want other people to think they're. They're very clever. So if it's got five stars from a broadsheet. And listen, if you're in from a broadsheet tonight, I think your stars are accurate if they're five. But sometimes I think they go, oh, this is very difficult. I'll give it five stars. Then everyone will know how clever I am.

[Jessica Kavaska]

Yeah.

[Deborah Frances-White]

So maybe that's happened, or maybe it's just not for you. Is it about an old monk? Why did you start reading a book about an old monk, though?

[Jessica Kavaska]

My really cool, clever aunt recommended it to me.

[Deborah Frances-White]

Yeah. You know, you're allowed to give up if you're not enjoying it, you are allowed to give up.

[Jessica Kavaska]

I think giving up on an audiobook is next level. It's happening to me.

[Deborah Frances-White]

I know.

[Jessica Kavaska]

All I've got to do is lie back and shut my eyes. Which doesn't sound like great feminism. Ultimately, surely I can endure the sound of an entire book.

[Deborah Frances-White]

I'm looking forward to your review on Goodreads, which is I lay back and thought of England. Five stars.

[Jessica Kavaska]

Okay.

[Deborah Frances-White]

Mine is much worse. All right, I'm a feminist, but I was very honored to be invited to Giselle Pellico's event in Parliament. And so there was like a morning tea, and she spoke and gave a reading from the book. And we met. I met lots of incredible feminists there. And I was with Laura Bates, and somebody offered to introduce us, which was lovely. And we went up and there was, you know, when they Used a step and repeat board, like a board, branded board so that you can have a picture and then you put that on Instagram and other people go, oh, I must buy that book. And I looked at the branding board and I said to the, the woman who'd said, I want to introduce you. I didn't, wasn't quite sure who she was, but she seemed formal and part of the event. I said, is this event sponsored by Vinted? So I just thought this is like Vinted on the board. I thought this is really like. I thought, are we at the point of late stage capitalism now, where Gisele Pellico's book is sponsored by Vinted, that secondhand fancy clothes ebay site on the thing. I went, is this sponsored by Vinted? And she went, no, no, we're vintage books. And I was speaking to an incredibly elegant imprint of an enormous publishing company, this very elegant women's imprint. And I asked her if the Gisele Pelley with my face in front of Laura Bates, in front of one of the most high profile feminists in this country, Laura Bates writes these incredible books, said, is this event sponsored by Vincent? And that happened ages ago. And do you know why I haven't told you? I was ashamed. It's taken me so long to. I had to get over it before I could share it here for I just. My God, is this sponsored by Vinted?

[Jessica Kavaska]

There's a brilliant.

[Deborah Frances-White]

And are there any freebies?

[Jessica Kavaska]

There's a brilliant Bristolian comedian called Amy Mason. Check out her work, she's amazing. And she's got a wonderful line in her last show where she describes Vinted as being like Fortnite for women in their 40s. Spot on. That's really good, Debs.

[Deborah Frances-White]

I know. Well, it's really bad, but that makes it really good, doesn't it?

[Jessica Kavaska]

Yeah, it does. I'm a feminist, but my wife is so eccentric that I genuinely worried that she might get dementia and I won't notice. Few they've laughed. Yeah, she is really straight. No, please laugh. It's what it was, a worry. It's like that we've been together long enough now that I can sort of decode it, but hardly any of the words she says are the words that you're meant to use for the thing. So she'll be like spoonerism. Oh, I'm gonna go. Well, no, not really. It should be like, oh, I'm gonna go and meet Daraline and John at the Carrots Whiskers. And you'll go, oh, she's clearly gonna go and meet Sally and Dan at the Tiger's Head.

[Deborah Frances-White]

Oh, wow.

[Jessica Kavaska]

I just know what she means now. And she'll flip whole new sentences as well. Like, you were like, well, are you ready to go? And she'll be like, just hold me one tickens.

[Deborah Frances-White]

Aw.

[Jessica Kavaska]

Just hold me one tickens.

[Deborah Frances-White]

I love this. But she's a playwright, She's a wordsmith.

[Jessica Kavaska]

She is a wordsmith. But once she said goodbye to a taxi driver by going, nah, nights eat well. She's like, do you know what I envy about.

[Deborah Frances-White]

And I think this is something to do with a same sex relationship. What I envy is that she will say, oh, I'm going down to the Carrots Whiskers with Jane and Bill, and, you know, it's the Tiger's Head with Don and Marie.

[Jessica Kavaska]

Yeah.

[Deborah Frances-White]

If I say to my husband, I'm going to the King's Arms, where we always go with our best friends in the world, Bob and Sue. He'll go, what?

[Jessica Kavaska]

Who?

[Deborah Frances-White]

And I'll be like, and I've used the correct names just to be clear. My best friends are not Bob and Sue. But I'm just, you know, filling in some names here. He will go, who? What? Genuinely, is anyone else in a relationship with a man? Just give us a cheer. Yeah. Is it or is it not true I have done that, that sometimes they just. Even though, like, you've been talking about the divorce of some friends for ages and sort of mulling it over and going, oh, I'm really sorry they're divorced, but, you know, maybe it's for the best because she did say to me it. And blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then he'll be like, mm, yeah, mm. And then 10 minutes later, we were still in the same room, but we haven't said anything for a while. I'll go, do you think you should have a drink with him? And he'll go, who?

[Jessica Kavaska]

Yeah.

[Deborah Frances-White]

Do you find this with men? Yeah. And it's not all hashtag notallmen. I'm sure some men can finish your sentences. Just give us a cheer. If your partner is a man and he can finish your sentences, give us a cheer. Nobodies. Oh, it was a bit delayed. It's not convincing, is it? You couldn't even finish. So I don't know. I'm a feminist, but when I first heard about Project 2025 some years ago, I originally thought it was a WeWork initiative. I got it confused. There were two things on a page. And then I realized, yeah, but it. I mean, it sounds very Innocuous, doesn't it? They've made it sound like that. Yeah, you do.

[Jessica Kavaska]

I'm a feminist, Bart. I did an embarrassing thing. I went to my gym. That bit is fine. It was the lunchtime class and as I walked in, I was a little bit late and the briefing to the class about what was going to be in the class had already begun. So, you know, you skulk in in that instance. But I saw a dear friend's husband who I didn't realize was a member of my gym. And I was so giddy to see this man. I actually. I know the friend, Rob. I'd actually only ever met him twice, but when I saw him, listeners, I went, like, really giddy. I was like, oh. But like a kind of quiet, like, pointing across the room, couple of thumbs up like that. And he looked, like, freaked out. And I sort of took a step back and was like, oh, God, he doesn't remember you, of course. And that's absolutely fair enough.

[Deborah Frances-White]

He's only ever met.

[Jessica Kavaska]

He wants one of them as a party. And, you know, there were cocktails. There's no reason why I'd remember you. And then so a bit later in the class, I sort of sidled over and was like, hey, I'm. Let's just say it, I'm Jodie's friend. We met that past. You mend those killer cocktails. And. And he was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was like, anyway, sorry, I think I came in a bit, like, giddy there to see you. That wasn't very cool. And anyway, that was that couple of days go past and I think of it again thinking that was strange. But, you know, who knows? People are socially strange, whatever, you know, And I had gone in strong and I texted Jodie and said, God, it's so lovely that your husband has joined the gym that I go to. I think I freaked him out a bit saying hello, because I don't think he remembered me. And she said, he hasn't joined that gym.

[Deborah Frances-White]

So that was a random man.

[Jessica Kavaska]

You'll have a different man.

[Deborah Frances-White]

Yeah, you have to bump into. Yeah, either that.

[Jessica Kavaska]

Sorry. Sometimes they do all look the same.

[Deborah Frances-White]

They do,

[Jessica Kavaska]

yeah.

[Deborah Frances-White]

Yeah.

[Jessica Kavaska]

I need to never, ever see the man again, but I do.

[Deborah Frances-White]

You know what? I would like you to build on the story every time and see how long it takes, because he's.

[Jessica Kavaska]

How long it takes him to be brave and say, I haven't got a wife called Jodie.

[Deborah Frances-White]

But did you say wife? Because what he has.

[Jessica Kavaska]

I said, I'm friends with your wife. No, you're right, actually. I just said I'm friends with Jodie.

[Deborah Frances-White]

So he's getting Jodie, he's thinking, jodie's party, a lot of cocktails. Oh, I can't remember which Jodie. It's probably a friend of my wife. I was there, I drank too much, I flirted with this woman after too many cocktails. I'm just gonna have to nod and smile. And I, to be fair, would also, I wouldn't go, I don't know a Jodie. I'd be thinking, fuck, who's Jodie? And I would go, you know, And I do know a couple of Jodies. So I'd be thinking, did I go to a party and was there cocktail? I'm on this man's side now.

[Jessica Kavaska]

Oh, no.

[Deborah Frances-White]

But I would love it if every time you saw him, you just made up more of the story. And can I pitch this?

[Jessica Kavaska]

This is more fun, actually.

[Deborah Frances-White]

Can I pitch this that you see him and you go, isn't it great news about Jodie? Yeah.

[Jessica Kavaska]

And then how fab is that for her?

[Deborah Frances-White]

And then every time you see.

[Jessica Kavaska]

So hard for it, isn't she?

[Deborah Frances-White]

You just do another bit and another bit and another bit. And then one time you just see him by the weights. You know, he's probably sitting there sort of, you know, waiting for a weight or something. And you just go up and you go, we do need to talk about what happened that night. I can't. I just can't live with it anymore. And I just. I think we both know what we could have. At what point is this man gonna say, I'm so sorry, I can't place you? Yeah. Live from the Museum of Comedy in London, the Spontaneity Shop presents the Guilty Feminist. With me, Deborah Francis White, guest co host, Jessica Foster, and our very special guests, Claire Marn and Julia Rowland, talking about girls rights as human rights. Hello, hello. Oh, hello, hello, hello. How are you? I'm Deborah Francis White. This is the Guilty Feminist Party podcast. Give us a cheer if you have been to the Guilty Feminist before. Give us a cheer if you listen to the Guilty Feminist at home. Give us a cheer if you don't know what you're at. Okay, so what you're at is you are at a podcast. Recording a podcast is a radio that nobody stops you making. And so we're recording this tonight. So if you do a laugh. Thank you. You will hear that back on the recording. Not that one, because this will be cut out, obviously, but another future laugh. Or if you Ask our fantastic guests a question. That laugh would definitely stay in. If you ask our guests a question, you'll be able to hear yourself back on the podcast. So it's a podcast recording, in other words. Look, we don't want any Coldplay incidents here, okay? So if you're here with someone you shouldn't be here with, don't speak up. Don't speak up. I mean, you can still laugh, because who really knows their partners laugh when they're out being unfaithful? I think it'd be really tricky. Really, really tricky. And also, who's here at a feminist show, leaving their partner at home on the other side of town? Why are you making that face now? No, just give us a cheer if you're having an affair tonight. Excellent. Well, it was one cheer. That's nice. We like to think it's an open relationship, and we probe no further. Just give a cheer if you're on a date. Anyone here on a date? You want a date? Oh, that's so nice. Oh, with your wife. And yet she's. She's sitting behind you and there's an empty seat next to you. I'm going to question that as I think we're sold out tonight. So I don't know why there's this empty seat next to you, but strategic. What's the strategy, sitting a row behind your partner on date night? The only time I get away from her after. The only time I get away with her. I'm just repeating this for the microphone. The only. Don't you say it. I can't say it. Oh, gosh. The only time I can get away from her after being with her for 20 years. Why have you all said that? Like. That was sweet. That was a terrible thing to say. Oh. You've been together 20 years and you sit in separate rows at the theater. Presumably you're just creating a bit more space for yourself. Yeah. Yes. Excellent. Okay. You annoy her. Yep. Okay. This is verging on a counseling session, isn't it? Like couples therapy. We're right into couples therapy. And this is. And that's. That would be a good show to do, wouldn't it? We could do a couples therapy one night where we just didn't come. If you'd like. Couples therapy. And Jessica Foster, Q. Renowned comedian, not psychotherapist, and I would have a go. Like, we could. I think we'd be good. Tonight we're doing a Road to Gilead show. Just give us a cheer if you know what the Road to Gilead is. And just give us a cheer if you know what Gilead is. Give us a cheer if you don't know what Gilead is. Okay, so have you ever seen the Handmaid's Tale? Yeah. So Reddit. Well done. It's not a television show, Deborah. It's not Handmades on Hulu. No, no, no, no, no. It is in fact a very literary novel written by Margaret Atwood. Correct? That is correct. That is the correct response. And in fact, you were the only one to say it disappoints me. What's wrong with the rest of you? Call yourselves feminists. You're a feminist. But I said, have you seen the Handmaid's Tale? And you went, yeah, give us a cheer if you've read the Handmaid's Tale. Excellent. Well done. Give us a cheer if it was years ago. Of course it was. You haven't read anything except Instagram for the last five years. But we all remember when we used to read books back there was a joy, wasn't it? I listen to audiobooks now because I'm doing other things, but I'm really trying to listen to audiobooks to just fill my mind with important and interesting things because I fear what the phone's doing to my brain. I'm trying to get rid of it.

[Jessica Kavaska]

Anyway.

[Deborah Frances-White]

This is not the point. The Handmaid's Tale, the hammersteck Gilead is the dystopian future she imagines for America after the Christian nationalists have taken it over. And I think we are on the road to Gilead, except with artificial intelligence. Because whatever you could say about Gilead, the Atwood, Gilead, very low tech. That's true, though. They don't have any tech. There's no security cameras ever. So if they want to escape, they just like pull their hood up or they put on different. They put on a green dress instead of a red one. We're not going to be able to do that when the Christian nationalists take over here. They're bringing AI. They're bringing, like, cameras on every street corner that can read your face. You will be back in the house before you. Look, I'm not trying to scare you, but it's going to be Gilead with AI with AI. Imagine if Commander Fred had AI and had security cameras everywhere. So we're looking down the barrel of what's happening in America now with the populism and the far right and people just being rounded up off the streets for literally no reason and thrown into concentration camps and women's rights being absolutely gutted, especially the rights to the very cellular core level of what's inside your body. All of that's gone. And we're seeing now. I mean, the local elections were quite devastating. But it's not as bad as it looks, okay? It's really not. I think it's really important that we say it's not as bad as it looks. Most councils have now no overall control. So I think we are coming into an age of more coalition politics. I think it's like 61 councils have no overall control. The top after that is, I think, 27, and it's labor, then it's the Lib Dems, then it's reform. So what we see is the papers going, oh, there's all these reform. Yes, yes, yes, yes. But we are not there yet. And we've got a good three years between now and the general election. And there is a groundswell now. I think probably the best thing that could have happened at the local elections in one way is us going, oh, fuck, we're not going to walk this. We've now got to put the work in. So the road to Gilead is specifically a show and a series of events and open space days where we're figuring out how to do a U turn. It's not, we would like to get a lift to Gilead on the road. It's, oh, God, we're on the road. Where's the turn? We've missed the turnoff again. Oh, shit, we've missed the turnoff. We've got to find a roundabout. So that's what it's for. So at the beginning of these shows, I'm now doing something that I call right Wing news, which is a monologue. Now, normally I just do a roundup of everything that's happening Right Wing news and write some jokes, but I've decided tonight to pretty much exclusively write a monologue about Nigel Farage. Not all of it has jokes. Given. Given he is one. And everything he's doing isn't entirely funny. Now, on 29 April 2026, the Guardian published an exclusive investigative report led by journalist Anna Isaac. The report revealed that Nigel Farage was given £5 million by the crypto billionaire Christopher Harborne, who lives in Thailand. He does enjoy foreigners who live abroad, just not ones that live here. Shortly before announcing he would stand, not Christopher Harborne, Nigel Farage would stand in the 2024 British general election. Now, this is interesting because Farage had stated he did not intend to stand as a prospective MP, but you turned in June 2024 interesting. Within weeks of receiving the personal gift from the Thailand based businessman. Had you heard that part?

[Jessica Kavaska]

Yeah.

[Deborah Frances-White]

Announcing that he would run for the seat of Clacton on Sea. Although he accepted the Money in early 2024, the transaction was kept entirely hidden from the public and parliamentary watchdogs for over two years until it was exposed by journalists last month. In July 2024, Farage became an MP for the first time ever and has since stated he now expects to become Prime Minister at the next general election. Men are very entitled, aren't they? I just expect it. I expect I will be Prime Minister. I've decided, I assume it's coming. After being approached by the Guardian about the gift, neither he nor Harborne provided a comment. Instead, lawyers for Reform UK and Harborne pleaded for more time. According to ITV News, the Guardian did the decent thing and waited for the legal response, which this should do. And Farage and Harborne bypassed them. Farage immediately gave an interview to the rival publication the Daily Telegraph, disclosing the 5 million pound gift on his own terms to get ahead of the impending leak. So he was asked, he was given right to reply and he went, oh, can I have some more time, please? I'm just figuring out what I'm gonna say, which is always suspicious, isn't it? Can I just need to talk to my lawyers? And then he didn't let them break the story. He went, as if I'm breaking a story myself, I just should tell you. Nigel Farage first told the Telegraph that the 5 million pound gift was given to him for security on 29 April. That day, Farage stated the money was an unconditional personal gift intended to fund a lifetime of private personal security. A lifetime. A lifetime that's like, it's like a gift voucher for a lifetime. But he didn't give it in gift vouchers, which I would have, I think if I wanted that to be security, I definitely would have made that gift vouchers, but he just gave him cash. That was so nice of him because that means he can send it on anything. But it is for. It is for, and I think this needs to be clear, his private personal security, a lifetime. That. A lifetime voucher for private personal security. He explained that he is the most physically attacked politician in modern British history. Men don't often do a lot of self reflection, do they? Because if that came out of my mouth, I would at least look in the mirror and go, but why? And it's not always that. There are some politicians that are very good that are attacked for other reasons. But I think on this occasion I would look at myself and go, what was the milkshake for? But he has not contacted BetterHelp and he has not. Because I think if he talked to a therapist, they'd go, why is that, Nigel? What do you think? What part do you play in that transaction? You know, when you tell a therapist, oh, but this always happens, that men are always mean to me, okay, but what kind of man are you attracting? And what, like, why are you participating in that? And then you go, oh fuck, it's me too. Gotta break this cycle, right? He's not done that. So he's just said out loud with his mouth, I am the most physically attacked politician in modern British history. And he said he has been repeatedly denied state funded protection by the Home Office and the police. He asserts that he has been, quote, denied at every twist and turn, leaving him with a, quote, grim reality that requires relying on private donors to stay safe. But gang, sorry to tell you this, your tax has paid for Nigel Farage's security detail. After winning his seat in Clacton on Sea in July 2024, Farage became eligible for parliamentary protection. And most MPs don't apply for it, but he did. For over a year, the parliamentary security department provided him with a state funded personal close protection detail. This taxpayer funded arrangement came to an end in September 2025, not long ago when parliamentary authorities conducted a risk assessment and slashed his state security detail by 75%. So he still does have more taxpayer funded security than most MPs. He's still got 25% following this. Doesn't sound like every twist and turn, does it? He hasn't been denied every twist and turn. Like there have been some twists where he's been not denied and a number of turns where he's not. It's not being denied it now. 25% left. He's like, I've been consistently denied. Okay, so following this downgrade reform, UK donors stepped in to privately finance his ongoing team of guards. Ongoing team of guards. Okay, but I don't understand. Because he accepted five million quid for a lifetime of security. A lifetime of security. He accepted. He's already accepted that before he became an mp. And then he applied for taxpayer funding and got it, which most MPs don't do. And then he was told he didn't qualify for as much anymore because there wasn't a huge risk in their assessment. So he asked reform donors to step up and privately finance him for his team of Guards, his team of guards. But he already had 5 million quid lifetime. He had the gift vouchers. I don't understand. In September 2024, when he had 5 million quid from crypto Boy and full tax funded security on an LBC phone in. This is when he still had both of those forms Alzen and Cryptos on an LBC phone in. Nigel Farage claimed he would not hold face to face constituency surgeries in Clacton on Sea due to severe personal security fears and that he would not risk allowing the general public to, quote, flow through the door with their knives in their pockets. I would say just Dean, just say to people, if you've got a knife, leave it in the basket. That's what happens in nightclubs, isn't it? I don't know, I feel like. Just frisk them. If you really feel that anxious about your own constituents, just say, put a little metal detector.

[Event Announcer]

That's what I'd say.

[Deborah Frances-White]

Instead, he announced he would only conduct virtual surgeries via Zoom. He claimed that the parliamentary authorities had advised him against going to Clacton for security reasons. Those same authorities denied that claim and said they'd never tell an MP not to visit his constituents, rather advise how to do it safely. Interesting. So he's got two lots of paid for security at this point and still doesn't go to Clacton on Sea because of security risks, but he's got a team of guards. Interesting. Farage has never disclosed the exact number of Zoom surgeries he has held. And according to lbc, his political opponents claim he has not held a single formal Zoom surgery group session since his election. Instead of hosting formal publicized Zooms for surgery events, Farage and his staff address constituent problems on a strict case by case basis. If a matter requires a video or telephone meeting, it is arranged privately behind closed doors. To be fair, he does love a closed door. That is on brand. I mean, what they could get is a cameo. Because if you can't get a surgery or a video surgery and you are a Clacton constituent, just note that you could pay 60 to 77 pounds to get a video surgery with him. He does so many of those. And if you want a business or a special request one. A cameo from Nigel Farage is £3752 and he is doing those, but he's not doing any formal Zoom surgeries like a normal MP would give surgeries. He has made between £374,000 and £430,000 at last count. Oh, sorry. If you are a Clacton resident. You can't get a cameo from him anymore. He has stopped doing them because he's being investigated because of the content of his cameos. Disappointing. You will never, ever see him. On the 14th of May today, Nigel Farage newly claimed the 5 million pound gift was a reward for campaigning for Brexit for 27 years. No security mentioned this. He made this comment during a video interview with the Sun. This statement marked a significant shift in his explanation, as he had previously said it was for security. The change in his story occurred on the same day the Parliamentary Commissioner for Standards confirmed Farage was under formal investigation and immediately followed media reports from Sky News revealing he had used cash to purchase a 1.4 million pound home shortly after receiving the money. I suppose you could say you might feel more secure in a bigger house. That's a sort of security, isn't it? He claims he was already putting in an offer on the house. But you might know you were getting that five million quid, mightn't you, before you got it as well? That might have been promised to you. We don't know. Behind closed doors, maybe. Maybe that crypto boy paid for a cameo. And that's how it all started. Because the £5 million was received shortly before Farage announced he would stand as an MP for Clacton, the Parliamentary Commissioner for Standards launched an official investigation into him. Now, it could be worse. It could be a lot worse because Donald Trump is currently suing his own government for $10 billion because somebody, he thinks, leaked his tax return report, so he thinks that's worth $10 billion. And I've seen him say something like, well, I'm kind of suing myself, but I'll probably say yes now. And. And this. Cause this is. It could be worse. This is. Could be worse. It could be worse because in America as well, they announced Trump phones, Trump cell phones, and everyone put in 100 quid. They have made 59 million from that and they've now said, no phones and you're not getting your money back. And the reason I say it could be worse is because it will be worse if Nigel Farage is Prime Minister, because he is not currently. He's the leader of a small party, he's not currently in power. But can you see, like, what's going on over there and what we should expect? This is why we must never allow him to become Prime Minister. And now to close. This is a very formal. This is actually quite a solemn moment now. This is a solemn moment because I'm going To read the names of the fallen. The fallen Reform councillors who were elected in the local elections but are now sadly no longer with us. They've only been Reform counselors for a number of weeks. Glenn Gibbons, Sunderland, suspended by Reform following allegations of racism. J. Cooper Sefton, declared not welcome. My Nigel Farage, following reports of him calling the Holocaust a hoax and then resigned from the party. Footnote. He spelt Holocaust H A double L O. Stuart Pryor, Essex, expelled by Reform and resigned as a councillor after he was accused the week before the election of creating racist in his Islamic phobic post on social media. Ben Roe, Plymouth, suspended by Reform after he had been called out on multiple occasions for his offensive posts. Ashley Monk Redditch, resigned to sit as an independent following a dispute. And Nathaniel Mende Sheffield, suspended by Reform as he had shared pictures of swastikas and Adolf Hitler's book, Mein Kampf and other far right iconography. So a moment of silence for the fallen. And this is just a bit to cheer you up at the end because you thought it was so bad when you saw all those Reform councillors at the local election winning. But as you can see, they are dropping off by the day. There's already so many fewer Reform councillors. If we can just keep up these numbers, guys, by the end of next month we won't have any at all. So just keep up, just keep up the complaints if you see anything. And that is right wing news. All right, are we ready to start the show? They're pleased by the stage, by the incredible Jessica Foster cue. How are you, Jess?

[Jessica Kavaska]

Yeah, fine, how are you? I'm very well just asking you in public. Yeah, I mean, very well as well.

[Deborah Frances-White]

Yeah, we're only going to say that here, aren't we? We're not going to say, you know, hot flushes or anything, are we? Yeah, we could say that here.

[Jessica Kavaska]

Yeah, I'd say that here.

[Deborah Frances-White]

Shall we say that then? Hot flushes.

[Jessica Kavaska]

Well, I'm not gonna say because it's not true.

[Jessica Foster Q]

I don't know.

[Jessica Kavaska]

I'd say it here, but I wouldn't make it up here. Just to clarify, she's very good, isn't she? Yeah.

[Deborah Frances-White]

What a feminist. Okay, this is the Guilty Feminist, the podcast in which we explore our noble goals as 21st century feminists and the hypocrisies and insecurities which undermine them. I'm Deborah Frances White, with me is Jessica Foster Q. And we are talking about women and girls rights. Girls rights as human rights. Now, would you like to see some stand up comedy and Please welcome, stage, the incredible Jessica Foster. Q. Oh, hi.

[Jessica Kavaska]

Some newer thoughts and feelings. Some of them a bit potentially edgy for this crowd, but we'll try. So I've had lots of adventures this year. I've been very lucky and I'm going to tell you some stories from my travels. I am coming to the end of touring a show that is sort of loosely about me trying to become more tolerant for various reasons and had a really good chance to practice, actually. I was lucky enough to get booked for a comedy festival that was also skiing and got to go to Mirabel in France where they used to do. They used to do the Winter Olympics there. And it's known, this particular peak is known for being where the absolute poshest of English people do their skiing. And, yeah, if you want to work on your tolerance, go and have a holiday with them. One morning I got on a chairlift alone and I was with two couples.

[Jessica Foster Q]

Poshness that you don't really sort of encounter day to day life unless you sort of work for the Royal Family or Standing Johnson.

[Jessica Kavaska]

It was like, I'm talking about, you

[Jessica Foster Q]

know, I'm talking about a level of poshness. Like even when someone's in their 30s, it sounds like they've had a stroke.

[Jessica Kavaska]

It sounded like that. And I thought, no, Jess, you're working on your tolerance. You know what I mean? How dare you judge these people on their accent. Nobody chooses their accent. You don't know what's going on for them. They could be lovely. We set off right. If you've never been on a chairlift, once you set off, it's sort of. It's a little chair made out of sticks up the sky. There's no escape route. You can't get out. You're locked. You're very much locked in in the traditional sense as well as focused. And as we set off, they started talking and the man on the end

[Jessica Foster Q]

started saying, well, I don't understand why this gentleman's ended up going to prison when all he's actually done is shoot a teenager.

[Jessica Kavaska]

And they were all doubling down and it was extraordinary.

[Jessica Foster Q]

One of them was saying, and he didn't, he didn't shoot his only shot at the legs. He's avoided any of the main areas and he's only taken out the legs. If the teenager's on the man's land, what do you expect the gentleman to do? It's the gentleman's right to take out a teenager if the teenager's on the man's land.

[Jessica Kavaska]

And as this journey Goes on and on. I sort of sat there on the edge on my own, like, oh, my God. And I thought, maybe they're only talking like this because, you know, they don't know for sure we're in France. They don't know for sure that I can understand what they're saying. You know, there's a world in which they've assumed I'm French. Yeah. So I thought, I'll let them know that I speak English. Maybe it will kind of, you know, I don't know. It feels like ethically I should let them know I understand what they can say. So I spoke to the lady closest to me, and I opened with what I would say is quite a standard type of conversational opener with a stranger for me. But in retrospect, probably not a sentence she's ever heard. I turned to her and went, whoa, like your rucksack. And it sort of seized her up. She went, but they weren't scared, you know, they carried on this conversation.

[Jessica Foster Q]

Yes. I think it's a human right to defend your land, and you should be able to bear arms if you gain how.

[Jessica Kavaska]

And it goes on and on and on as the journey goes on. I think my favorite bit of the conversation I overheard was I think one of them had an adult child working out there because one of them said,

[Jessica Foster Q]

tilly has had to administer two massages this week.

[Jessica Kavaska]

And the other lady said, well, you must be careful that she doesn't burn out. Yeah. And then we get towards the end, you're just about to get, you know, lift your barrier up, ready to ski off. And in fairness, the lady closest to

[Jessica Foster Q]

me says, oh, it was lovely to meet you.

[Jessica Kavaska]

And I said, oh, it's lovely to meet you, too. Have a good day skiing. And I'll remember to never accidentally trespass on your land. And in fairness, three of them went, oh. But the man on the end went,

[Jessica Foster Q]

good, then we'll both be happy.

[Jessica Kavaska]

Extraordinary. What else have I got to tell you about my adventures? Everywhere I've been going on tour, I've been trying to find out what the news is in the local place. And my favorite bit of news was in Lancaster, where in the news was a local woman called sue who had made it to the finals of MZ Great Britain. It is a beauty pageant for the over 45s. And what I loved about the story was I love journalism most, where it's quite clear at various points in an article where the journalists sort of run out of steam. And there was a beautiful line in this where it said, during the final sue will be required to wear a bikini, a gown of her choosing and other clothes. I loved that. And they hadn't asked much of Sue. They'd asked her one question. They'd said, why are you doing it? I doubt they'd asked in that tone. We can only guess in writing. It said. They'd said to her, why are you doing it? And I loved this. Sue had said, and she was quoted, she'd said, I'm doing it to raise awareness of middle aged women. Yeah. Like we are a disease that no one is doing nearly enough about. And I thought, I like that, actually, I'm here for that. I want fundraisers, I want people running marathons. I want to see sheets thrown over pitch up tables in service stations with men there with plastic buckets saying, for five pounds a month, you can silence a perimenopausal woman for hours. I want us to all get special little rubber wristband pink for Mawad. It's Middle Aged Woman Awareness Day and we'll all celebrate that. It will become like a national thing that hundreds of thousands of people do. It will be similar to Movember, but for Middle Aged Women Awareness Day. We won't only grow out our moustaches, we grow out our beard as well, our rogue nipple hair. We'll all wear the uniform. It's a barrel leg jean with a white trainer. And every time we cough or jump, we'll do a little piss.

[Deborah Frances-White]

Thank you.

[Jessica Kavaska]

Yeah, okay. Something in that. Okay. And then one last thing. Everywhere. I've been to lots of places that are applying to become the town of culture. That's fun, I think. But there's always. Well, not for always. For a long time they've been a city of culture and now you can apply. As of next year, they'll be in the uk. We'll have our first ever town of culture every few years. And then what you get, you know, you get a load of money basically and you get a boost for your profile and stuff like that. And I've been to all these lovely towns that are applying and I wish them all well. And I did a bit of research because I was going to so many places that are going for this. And I learned that if you get town of culture, you get three and a half million quid. Yeah. And it has made me wonder whether I could potentially reposition myself as a town. I've got a lot of similar attributes to the types of towns that are applying. Unendingly scruffy, particularly uninviting at night, increasingly finding everything shuts down at some point during the afternoon. Got potholes no one's doing anything about, and these days, woefully underused main thoroughfare. That'll do.

[Deborah Frances-White]

Jessica Kavaska, everybody. We have some really exceptional guests tonight, and I want you to focus on what they're saying. So I want you to quickly go to the loo. We're going to have a short interval, go to the loo, grab a drink if you need one, and come back in for our deep dive chat. Have you had a good first half? Then we'll see you back here in 10 to 15. So that was the first half. Join us for part two, which should be in your feed right now.