← The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos
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- [00:00]
Podcast Host
This is an iHeart podcast.
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Chase Business Representative
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Mill Product Representative
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Lowe's Representative
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Elias Weiss Friedman
Join for free today.
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Lowe's Representative
Loyalty programs subject to terms and conditions details@lowe's.com terms subject to change.
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Dr. Laurie Santos
Pushkin.
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Podcast Host
When.
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It comes to feeling happier, there's no one size fits all approach. When times get really tough, many of us have our own unique ways to cope. And that is what we'll be exploring in this new season of the Happiness Lab. The creative strategies that different people use to bring joy back into their lives, especially during times that don't feel so great. Over the next few episodes, I'm going to be talking to people about their coping strategies, the things that bring them pleasure and calm, that get them out of the house and meeting new people, and that ultimately help them cope when they're feeling overwhelmed. You'll hear about the power of music, nature, sports and simple hobbies to make our lives happier. And first up is the story of Elias Weiss Friedman. If that name's not familiar, go check your Instagram feed Because you might know Elias better as the Doggist.
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Elias Weiss Friedman
All right. Italian greyhound in an outfit. Excuse me. Can I take a photo of your dog quickly? Yeah. The Doggist.
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Podcast Host
For over a decade, Elias has walked the streets of New York asking dog owners if he can take photos of their pets. Elias's pup portraits are amazing.
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Elias Weiss Friedman
How old is Wico? He's a year year and change. Yeah. Can you have a little biscuit?
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Podcast Host
Yeah, of course.
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Elias Weiss Friedman
That's for you.
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Podcast Host
But what's really made the Doggist a huge hit on social media are the heartwarming interactions Elias has with both the dogs and the humans.
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Elias Weiss Friedman
Oh, my God. I'm honored. I've never met a witch's dog. There's a movie, a Disney movie in there somewhere.
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Podcast Host
Elias has a new book out this Dog Will Change youe Life, which explores how dogs improve the lives of so many people. And there's lots of research to back this up. Studies show that dogs help us stay active and engaged. They keep us in the moment and help us notice our surroundings. They're also goofy companions who encourage us to let down our barriers and talk to strangers. But this Dog Will Change your Life isn't just a book about dogs in the abstract. It has lots of stories from Elias himself about how our furry friends help us cope, including tales from his youngest days, which explain the very special place dogs hold in his heart.
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Elias Weiss Friedman
It's a little bit of like a scary story, perhaps. I was with my grandmother at her house, and she was watching me, and I was a toddler, and she went in to get a jacket and left me outside with Oreo, her dog, black Labrador. I don't know what was going through my head. Maybe it was, let's go on an adventure. And when she came back outside, I was gone. She called the police and called my parents and fire department and everything. They thought the worst. I don't remember it personally. This is what my parents would tell me. But a landscaper saw me on the side of the road with Oreo, and Oreo was sort of like, keeping me out of the road. And I guess Oreo kept me out of harm's way. And it was an early indication of my love of dogs. And, like, that's part of my origin story, you could say.
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Podcast Host
It also seems like you've been around dogs, like, your whole life, and they've been kind of helping you your whole life. Tell me a little bit about kind of your childhood. In some ways, that dogs helped you, even back then.
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Elias Weiss Friedman
I was always a shy kid. I was social, but just not Sort of extroverted. I was an introverted person. And dogs are sort of not burdened by self consciousness and anxiety about approaching others. I mean, not all dogs, but most of them are, I would say. And so when you go up to a dog, that was just sort of like a safe place for me, was going up to my dog Ruby and getting attention and love. And I always had this sort of dry sense of humor and would speak on my dog's behalf, you know, make everyone in the house laugh. And that was me expressing myself in a very, like, fun, pure form that I didn't really get to do otherwise.
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Podcast Host
Can you. Maybe this is too much, but can you do a version of the Ruby ventriloquism for the podcast?
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Elias Weiss Friedman
Yeah, let's see. She would go up to my brother and be like, henry, what are you doing? You never pet me anymore. I don't know, it's been, it's been a while since I've done that one.
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Podcast Host
It's been a while.
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Elias Weiss Friedman
But like, you know, Ruby, you know, and. And other dogs were like my muses. And it was like, you're seeing the true Elias come out. And it made everyone relax and like me more. That's where the origin of my love of dogs, I think began, was just sort of enabling me as a shy kid to be my true self.
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Podcast Host
Kind of going back to the origin stories. I wanted to start with the second time a dog saved your life, at least metaphorically set up what was going on when you were 25 and sort of what happened next.
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Elias Weiss Friedman
So I worked in a brand strategy agency helping companies tell their story. It was a great job. Like, I learned probably more in that job than I did in college, you know, just like, about how to work in the real world as a professional. But then, you know, me and a colleague both got an email like, oh, come to the office of like the group director. And like, oh, what's this? Okay, we'll bring our notebooks. This could be our new thing. We'll work together. And then it was a rainy day, just like today. And he says, things were slow at the office, so today will be your last day. And we're like, oh, okay. That was obviously a bit startling. I was dreading having to slink home with my tail between my legs and have to tell my friends and family that I was fired. But that was the worst of it. My inner child was like, oh, this may actually be a good thing. I was in New York as a 25 year old and I didn't know what I wanted to do next. And so I sort of sought the counsel of my friends who were in the tech space in the city and who were, like, making things on their own and being their own bosses. And I sort of just had this moment of, like, what would I want to do instead of getting the same job somewhere else? What does my soul want? I want to hang out with dogs. I missed having a dog. They're walking all over, around New York City. People are fascinated with them. They're obsessed with them. I had grown up with a dark room in the house and had always been into, like, creating dog content. And I had, you know, a bunch of camera equipment within a year, you know, I was, like, interviewing dogs about world news on video. But that was a little bit, like, strange for, you know, to get people's dogs all riled up. But then I started taking portraits. I was like, the epiphany. I just remember, like, was in Williamsburg in Brooklyn and came across a Frenchie. And I, like, had said, okay, may I take a photo of your Frenchie? He said, yeah, I did. And then he said, what's this for? And I was like, the doggest. And it just sort of rolled off my tongue. I was like, it sounded good. And then I was off to the races. It sort of started as a joke. Like, wouldn't it be funny to photograph dogs in this sort of serious way? You know, the sartorialist for dogs. And I would walk around the streets of New York. I figured out my system. You know, I'm wearing the same pants I wore 11 years ago, these, like, cargo pants. I used to wear knee pads because I need to get down into the dog zone, the dog level. Literally. My job was a walk in the park. I would say, oh, I'm going to go to Central park today, or I'm going to go to Brooklyn or walk around Soho and just try and create great images. Whether the dog stands out on its own because it's, like, unique looking or charismatic, or the person is wearing, like, cool shoes or an outfit. Of course, my dad was like, how are you going to make money? Like, this is like, what is this? When are you going to get a real job? Type of thing? Like. But that was sort of like, the moment when I accepted myself, this is going to be okay. This is going to be good. How could people not love this? People love dogs. So I've chosen a good subject. And also, people love New York. New York has this magnetism. Everyone around the world is so curious about New York, and it just sort of got Traction quickly and, you know, Huffington Post and all local news. And of course everyone was like, thank God this now exists. And so I went from being a 25 year old person in New York trying to, like, find their purpose to being celebrated as like an artist and a dog person. Like, celebrated for something I really wanted to do that's fun and like, I wanted to be known for. And so the dogs saved me again.
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Podcast Host
I mean, one of the cool things about what you do is that you're kind of using the power of technology for good. I think unlike many influencers, you're really using the power of technology to get people to connect rather than divide people. You had this lovely quote in your book where you said, I think sometimes dog content is the single strand of wire tethering our society to decency and sanity. Kind of explain what you mean there.
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Elias Weiss Friedman
That's sort of like. I think part of the success of the Doggist is that everything on the Internet is very, like, grown up most of the time or we're expected to take things seriously. And here I was being like, what if, like, we just had a whole account about dogs? This is what the dogs would want for us. And everyone was like, oh my God, can we, can we actually do that? Can we make this a real thing? And I'm like, yeah, we can. The joke is like, you know me, this guy who's like, going to take this project extremely seriously. I'm going to get this really dramatic pictures of dogs and he's gonna wear knee pads and like, make this his whole life. And the whole thing is kind of like a joke. Like, dogs don't really want their pictures taken. Not that they wouldn't, but they don't conceive of what a camera is. So no dog is ever. Like, don't post that. Like, delete that picture. Take it down. Like, my nose looks big or my ears look weird. Like there are these beings that live with us and are completely free of the things that we are so worried about. If only we could be like that. If only we could tell our most embarrassing story, post our least flattering picture and be in front of, you know, 10 million people and not care. Did Riley see the post? I hope he doesn't think I'm weird now.
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Podcast Host
The first time you went out on that photo shoot, like, what was that like?
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Elias Weiss Friedman
I trusted my gut. I knew that there was something there. I mean, everyone's a dog photographer, right? I was not the first person with this idea to create a project around dogs, but I just sort of decided I wanted to take it to another level. I grew up in a house that was a little bit zany. The dog ventriloquism thing, where dogs are sort of like, have inner monologues. Like, I didn't create that. I was steeped in that growing up. But the idea of creating a whole project around something that on the surface seems, like, silly. You have to be a little disruptive and be willing to be disruptive and to not listen to other people in order to find success in the thing that you love. And motivational speaker Gary Vaynerchuk, he would say things like, do your Smurf blog, whatever it is that you think is cool. There are many people who also would find it cool. And of all the things I chose, I chose one of the most popular things. Dogs. But at the time, this was like, before really being an influencer was a thing. And, like, we were still figuring out what, like, social media was and what it could be. And so I did the thing that seemed strange at the time, but was sort of the thing we all needed.
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Podcast Host
Talk to me about just how big the doggist has gotten since that first Frenchie photo.
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Elias Weiss Friedman
Yeah, I mean, it's been 11 years going on 12 years, and I've garnered an audience of close to 10 million people from all around the world. Become a New York Times bestselling author. My first narrative book coming out about my experiences working with all types of incredible dog organizations, being invited to the White House, you know, I photographed something like 50,000 dogs. Maybe that's a world record. I don't know. But it's certainly changed the fabric. You know, I say change the fabric of who I am, but really, it's just. It is who I am.
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Podcast Host
It also seems like it's given you other ways to find a sense of purpose, right?
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Elias Weiss Friedman
Yeah. I mean, when I was, like, let go for my job, I kind of had this bitterness in a way of like, well, if people don't like me, well, dogs are great. I've always felt that way, that, like, dogs represent, like, the type of person we wish we could be. We designed dogs largely, we picked the ones that we loved. That's how golden, golden retrievers came to be. They didn't just. They're not a naturally occur occurring thing. We picked dogs that we loved, and dogs are extremely expressive. And of all the animals out there, they're the one that are extremely generous with eye contact. So when you look at them, it feels like they're staring into your soul, which they basically are. And so that dopamine hit that oxytocin that you get from just being around a dog and having eye contact and feeling the sense of being in the present. Existing and pure love is something I didn't want people to take for granted and that's sort of my top line mission as the doggist is to help us appreciate dogs more than we already do. And of course no amount of obsession is enough.
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Podcast Host
We're going to take a quick break, but when we return, Elias and I will explore the science of why dogs.
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Can be so good for you.
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Lowe's Representative
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Dr. Laurie Santos
Hey, Dr. Laurie Santos here. As many of you know, I'm a college professor, and when I first started teaching at Yale, I wasn't sure how students would respond to a class on happiness. I mean, would they think it's cheesy? Would they dismiss the topic as superficial? I couldn't possibly have known what a revolutionary kind of experiment I was about.
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Podcast Host
To be part of.
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Dr. Laurie Santos
Now, years after my class went viral, I can't imagine my life any other way without my students, my class, or all the listeners out there that tune in every week. If I hadn't taken that first step, I wouldn't be here now sharing my journey and all the happiness Science with you My path to becoming a Happiness podcaster has taught me that we learn by engaging with each other. If you're searching for more meaningful human connections, that's where AARP comes in. The science shows that we could all use a little help leaning in to make more human connections. And with aarp, there are tons of new experiences waiting for you.
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Elias Weiss Friedman
AARP can help you make sure that.
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Dr. Laurie Santos
Your happiness lives as long as you do. And the research shows that by engaging more with new friends, you'll be happier and healthier.
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AARP Representative
AARP offers fun events that focus on making connections and boosting your happiness. Events like volunteer opportunities, skill building activities, local and virtual meetings. Plus there are plenty of opportunities to.
- [17:32]
Elias Weiss Friedman
Share what you know.
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AARP Representative
You can make connections through all of their events. They even have a virtual community center.
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Dr. Laurie Santos
Learn more@aarp.org local and lean into the fact that AARP can help people make human connections through local events.
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AARP Representative
That's why AARP offers these fun events to help your happiness live as long as you do.
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Dr. Laurie Santos
Think concerts, volunteer opportunities, group workouts, and more to help keep you active, involved and connected. And the sooner you join the fun, the more experiences you'll have in your community. The younger you are, the more you need AARP. Learn more at aarp.org local that's aarp.org.
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Mill Product Representative
Local.
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Podcast Host
Dog photographer Elias Weiss Friedman used his pup to navigate the shyness of his childhood. Later on in life, dogs gave him a fulfilling career path after he got fired. Dogs can indeed be a glimmer of light in our darkest days. Which is why when times are very tough, so many of us think about getting one.
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Elias Weiss Friedman
The stat that I always think of around that is like after 911 happened in New York, the population of dogs doubled in the city. Something similar Happened with a pandemic. And you said I could curse on the show. Yeah, please.
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Podcast Host
Yeah.
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Elias Weiss Friedman
The thing, the, the thing I imagine is going through people's minds is like when something bad happens, when it seems like the world is, is ending or something, people are like, fuck it, I'm going to get a dog. What am I waiting for? Why am I delaying happiness? I've been working this job for 10 years. I'm not happy. Maybe it's all for nothing. Maybe if I could just die the next day, you know, why don't I just be happy now? And so that's when people get dogs. Because it's like, let's do this now. How about that?
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Podcast Host
I love that. And that fits with so much of what the science shows us, which is that dogs have all these benefits both for our health and our happiness. Let's just start with our health. You know, researchers talk about this so called pet effect where you get double digit reductions in things like heart disease and even like kind of other risk factors for dying just by having a dog. And you talked about this in your book with this idea that dogs help our physical health because they get us moving, which is something you saw even as a shy kid, right?
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Elias Weiss Friedman
They get us out of the apartment, they get us walking. I mean, it seems sort of like, it's almost like a boring fact, but it's so real.
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Lowe's Representative
There's also like a real ritual to.
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Podcast Host
The dog walk too that you've talked about, that it's not just kind of getting outside, but you're kind of doing something that has this like present ritual quality.
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Elias Weiss Friedman
Like if we didn't have our dog, we would sleep in probably and our circadian rhythms would be off. We'd probably drink more because we'd be like, oh, we have no responsibilities. We get sunlight in the beginning of the day. We establish relationships with people in our neighborhood. One of the things I've been saying recently, and I may sound like a broken record because I've been saying it is before you get a dog, you know your neighbor, and after you get a dog, you know your neighborhood. Like for all the intangible things that dogs do for us, there are some very real tangible ones. They get you out and you meet 10 people and so you take the dog away, you're staying inside on your computer and you meet zero people or maybe one person on the Internet, which counts for half a point.
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Podcast Host
And this seems to be one of the real profound things that dogs do, is that they can kind of be this social lubricant. In your book, you talked about the. The importance of dog assisted conversations. What do you mean there? And why can those be so important?
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Elias Weiss Friedman
Yeah, dogs are furry icebreakers. People are passing each other on the street. They probably are like ships in the night. They don't say hi to one another, but, like, you know, two people walking their dogs, Their dogs are gonna say hi, they're gonna be interested, and then all of a sudden you're striking up a conversation. They're the spark that are creating and catalyzing this social interaction. What else is gonna do that? I mean, it's like people will go to the bar, they'll go to, like, social events, and maybe that'll happen. But on a daily basis, like as a daily routine of walking your dog. There's nothing else like it.
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Podcast Host
This is something you've also seen just in your role of taking pictures of people's dogs. You've mentioned how even though at first people are kind of like a bit weirded out by you showing up and talking to them, ultimately you get the sense that they're kind of relieved to have someone to talk to.
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Elias Weiss Friedman
Yeah, people like talking to another person, even if they don't seem that way. Like, from five feet away, people want to engage. You know, the Internet and the society that we've become, where we're glued to our phones, the incidence of, like, loneliness is so high where, like, how much eye contact and conversation do you have in person anymore? We're starved of it. This is like this weird state of society right now where you can totally get away with not talking to people. And so here I am, this sort of random person who wants to say hi to your dog, and then all of a sudden is asking you a question and wants to know your opinion and wants you to tell a story, and I just stop talking and let you talk. And they're like, what? It's my turn. Like, I have the microphone. This is kind of cool. Like, I've. I'm happy that you're letting me tell a story. And also the stories are about our dogs, are like the one type of story we feel totally liberated to give every detail about. You know, when we're talking about ourselves or we're talking about people we know, we're like, well, I don't know if they'll want me to say that or. Or I shouldn't say that about myself or, like, how will people judge me or think of me? But with the dog, it's like, let me tell you that one, you know, like how, like, freeing and fun Is that to just laugh and, like, connect with someone about a story and just include every detail. And. And I know that people will like me for the story that I'm telling. Like, you know, a lot of people know the doggist at this point, and they know, like, that their dog's gonna be seen by a lot of people, and the story is gonna be heard, and it's just sort of like, it's awesome to, I'm sure, be the person to sort of share something authentic and also watch people be authentic.
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Lowe's Representative
Yeah.
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Podcast Host
I mean, this is something that we know from some of the research. Right. Which is that what really connects people are these, like, deep, very vulnerable conversations where you show your messy self and you kind of take some humor in that. Right. But it can be really hard to do just talking about yourself, but somehow the dog. When you're talking about your dog, you can do that. And it sometimes leads to kind of vul about yourself that you wouldn't share either, because you start with the dog, and then it kind of leaks into you talking about yourself.
- [23:31]
Elias Weiss Friedman
It's all connected. You know, a story about our dog is also really a story about us. You know, unconditional love and helping them meet their significant other. You know, we're such good, like, detectives of when people are. Are bullshitting. You know, we watch someone talk, and it's like, I don't know about themselves, but the way people light up and let their hair down when they're talking about their dogs and laughing, and it's just sort of, like, charming to watch.
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Podcast Host
You've also found that kind of connecting over dogs can really help us get over our political differences.
- [24:04]
Elias Weiss Friedman
Yeah, I. You know, I'm always, like, looking at the dog first when I'm walking around. So I saw a German shepherd and, like, oh, beautiful dog. I asked them, oh, may I take a photo of your dog? And I was like, sure. And he, you know, he turns around, he's like, wearing a big Trump shirt. And, you know, in New York City, walking around with that, you're sort of, like, asking for attention. And so I'm like, oh, he's making a political statement. And, like, that's not what the doggist is about. And I like to keep it sort of apolitical. But then the second thought was just like, we're just talking about his dog here. Why do I need to, like, get political with this? Like, I'm making it political. You know, let's just be humans here. Forget the shirt. And we connected about the dog. The dog saved the day. You know, it was a reminder of how important it is that we don't be at odds with each other, and dogs help us not be at odds with each other. I've heard so many stories about people across party lines who, when they find out that someone who they might be opposed to politically is a dog person, you know, they can get along. Now it's like we have common ground. Like, you're cool. That's healthy politics. Right? We can disagree and still hear each other out, you know, and so that's.
- [25:14]
Podcast Host
How dogs can connect us with one another. But another thing we get from dogs also is just the social support and the connection that they give us directly. And this seems like something you've heard most on the Doggist. You talk about. If there is one message you get from all the kind of dog lovers you've met, it's just this idea of unconditional love.
- [25:31]
Elias Weiss Friedman
Ask people point blank, like, what's your favorite thing about having a dog? It's like almost 90% they'll say, like, it's when I come home and the dog is just so happy to see me. Because sometimes we feel stress during the day. It affects our mood. But when we come home and there's someone who doesn't know what happened to us that day and is just so unconditionally happy to see us and isn't asking questions about the work drama or how the presentation go, there's just something very soothing and comforting about that, that consistent happiness we can expect and we can plan on it, that sort of washes away the anxiety we may have. It's like 100% of the time. Hi, dad. You know, kind of a belly rub, like, how are you? That is such a mood enhancer.
- [26:19]
Podcast Host
There's also lots of evidence that it really, literally decreases our stress and our level of pain. One of my favorite studies had participants, like, put their hand in this so called cold presser task, which is like, you actually put your hand in this super, super cold water that like puts you in pretty terrible pain and you either have a dog present or not. And they find that you literally experience less PA when you have a dog present. So it seems like all the anxieties of work, all that stuff, we come home and they're literally helping us through it.
- [26:44]
Elias Weiss Friedman
Yeah, I'm not surprised by that. And they're extremely intuitive about our emotional state. I'm pretty sure they can like smell it. I just did a talk at Harvard and they have this lab there where they did an empathy test where I pretended to hit my finger with a hammer. And I faked it and started crying, you know, like, ow, ow. And the dog came running up and licked me on the face. Dogs are extremely empathetic. They know when things aren't going well. They know when you need love, they will give it to you whenever you need it. And we need it more often these days, I think.
- [27:16]
Podcast Host
And I think that's another thing we forget that dogs can give us. That dogs can connect us better to ourselves. They can kind of model how we should be treating ourselves. And I know this is something you talk about a lot. You've argued that dogs can make us a little bit less self conscious, which is helpful and kind of maybe less self critical too. What do you mean there?
- [27:33]
Elias Weiss Friedman
Yeah, I think we see the way the dogs are free with themselves, how they are totally candid. They express their emotions, whether it's fear or happiness or confusion or sadness, without any hesitation about the way they're perceived. You know, I don't know that dogs have a sense of humor, but I think, I think they do. You know, like, I feel like dogs would be like, funny and just sort of like willing to be silly. Like, you see the way dogs play with each other. And so when we see that, I don't know whether it's mirroring or something or behavioral association, but we become more like that. We think, okay, maybe it's okay to like, just be ourselves, to not look in the mirror and question how it will be perceived by others. One of the stories I read about is my wife Sam and I went to a Halloween party and everyone was masked and we were all freely talking to one another and in our anonymity, like a dog would running into a dog park. And later on the night, this person we were talking to, she took off her mask and my wife Sam was all of a sudden started freaking out and she'd be like, you know who that is? That's like one of my heroes, like this famous person. And all of a sudden she was, you know, self conscious and like, oh, I don't know, like if I should talk to her. We'd already been talking to her for 30 minutes about bagels, you know, like, what's the big deal? But dogs, they don't have an ego, you know, they have an ability to just be themselves, to run into the park and sniff butts and not worry about how that other dog may think of them. That initial sort of lack of fear around their reputation and being self conscious is something that we admire and we, we wish we could possess more and that's probably the biggest reason why I gravitated towards dogs. Because I was shy. And dogs aren't shy. And just by being at the other end of the leash of a dog, you by proxy just become less shy, you know, more social.
- [29:26]
Podcast Host
It's time for another break, but we'll be back soon to discuss the surprising ways that dogs can help us heal after trauma. The Happiness Lab will be back in a moment.
- [29:38]
Anabe Representative
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- [30:38]
Dr. Laurie Santos
Hey, Dr. Laurie Santos here. As many of you know, I'm a college professor, and when I first started teaching at Yale, I wasn't sure how students would respond to a class on happiness. I mean, would they think it's cheesy, or would they dismiss the topic as superficial? I couldn't possibly have known what a.
- [30:55]
Podcast Host
Revolutionary kind of experiment I was about to be part of.
- [30:58]
Dr. Laurie Santos
Now, years after my class went viral, I can't imagine my life any other way without my students, my class, or all the listeners out there that tune in every week. If I hadn't taken that first step, I wouldn't be here now sharing my journey and all the happiness science with you. My path to becoming a Happiness podcaster has taught me that we learn by engaging with each other. If you're searching for more meaningful human connections, that's where AARP comes in. The science shows that we could all use a little help leaning in to make more human connections. And with aarp, there are tons of new experiences waiting for you.
- [31:31]
Elias Weiss Friedman
AARP can help you make sure that.
- [31:33]
Dr. Laurie Santos
Your happiness lives as long as you do. And the research shows that by engaging more with new friends, you'll be happier and healthier.
- [31:41]
AARP Representative
AARP offers fun events that focus on making connections and boosting your happiness. Events like volunteer opportunities, skill building activities, local and virtual meetings. Plus there are plenty of opportunities to share what you know. You can make connections through all of their events. They even have a virtual community center.
- [31:59]
Dr. Laurie Santos
Learn more@aarp.org local and lean into the fact that AARP can help people make human connections through local events.
- [32:07]
AARP Representative
That's why AARP offers these fun events to help your happiness live as long as you do.
- [32:13]
Dr. Laurie Santos
Think concerts, volunteer opportunities, group workouts, and more to help keep you active, involved and connected. And the sooner you join the fun, the more experiences you'll have in your community. The younger you are, the more you need AARP. Learn more@aarp.org local that's aarp.org local as.
- [32:34]
Mill Product Representative
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- [34:00]
Podcast Host
In his role as social media sensation the Doggist Elias Weiss Friedman had the privilege of photographing hundreds of dogs each year. But Elias's fame has also also given him the chance to meet some very special pups.
- [34:11]
Lowe's Representative
Service dogs.
- [34:12]
Podcast Host
Dogs that are individually trained to help people with health issues or disabilities. These encounters have had a huge impact on Elias. In his book this Dog will Change your Life, he describes one such meeting with a woman named Sharon Sharon, she.
- [34:27]
Elias Weiss Friedman
Was an army nurse. And as an army nurse, you see people in their worst moments of their lives. Right. You can only imagine. And so when you come back, those memories don't go away. And so this woman had a dog from America's Vet Dogs who basically helps her with PTSD and nightmare interruption and dog will turn the lights on so that she doesn't have to enter a dark room. So, yeah, I, you know, I've worked with America's vet Dogs a number of times over the years and scheduled this series, you know, for veterans. And so I went to Sharon's house in New Jersey and everything was just sort of like normal. Like she was just talking to me like a regular person and telling me what her dog did for her. And it was not very dramatic. You know, later in the day we ended up at. Later in the day we ended up at the headquarters and I was speaking with America's vet dog CEO and she said, oh, I heard you met up with Sharon earlier. I said, yeah, yeah, and, you know, recounted it a little bit. And she said, you know, that Sharon used to be non verbal and she would shake and. Sorry, it gets to me, like just talking about it. But like that, that's, that's what her dog did for her. So through all the stuff that she's been through and state that she was in previously, to have a dog come in and just change who she is as a person, it's hard to quantify that, you know, the power of a dog that to take someone who is completely non functional, make them appear normal. Like, how do you, how do you quantify that?
- [36:10]
Podcast Host
You've also seen this again and again with dogs who've been working with veterans. I know you've talked about Nathan, another retired vet from the Air Force. You know, how did his dog help him?
- [36:19]
Elias Weiss Friedman
Yeah, Nathan, he worked, as he would say, in nukes in the nuclear division. And the one thing you have to be to work in that space is 100% good all the time. Are you okay? Yes. So that's like being a robot, basically. And Nathan wasn't always okay. It's so intense. Like you can't even have Advil. And so for his whole career, that's the way he had to be. And you know, he had all types of, like, physical ailments because of the number of hours he had to be at the controls. And so when he retired, how do you, like, deprogram all that training and live in a relationship with someone and be a human again after? You know, what if you're not okay. And so he became like a shut in and, like, was completely asocial, had all types of fear of things, and only he could articulate all those details. But he knew he needed help. And as a veteran, he reached out to this organization, America's Vet Dogs, and he got this dog, fast forward a couple years. He's now a public speaker and is like the most outgoing, big personality. You know, he's like a mohawk. He's a totally different person. Or rather, he is his true self instead of a scared person who's affected by ptsd. And so, once again, the dog isn't doing all types of magic tricks. And it's all in the subtlety and in the nuances of living with a dog. And little by little, they chip away at these things that we create for ourselves so that we can live our better, a better life.
- [37:52]
Podcast Host
So it seems like dogs have all these benefits, even in these extreme situations. But a lot of folks who can kind of see these benefits, or maybe you're thinking about getting a dog, they don't actually take the plunge. And one of the things I loved about your story was that it surprisingly, maybe it actually took you a while to take the plunge too. I think this is one of the dirty secrets of the early doggist years was that you yourself took. Did not have a dog, right?
- [38:14]
Elias Weiss Friedman
Yeah, well, I was on dog hiatus. You know, I sort of saw myself as a bit of an artist, but I felt like a lot of my motivation came out of this dog stalgia where I missed having a dog. What would happen if I got a dog? Would I stop being the doggist? Because I was driven to meet other people's dogs and to travel around the world and to try and meet as many dogs as possible. And also, obviously, having a dog requires a lot of responsibility and time. So I think there was just this period in my life where I was just sort of focused on building my career and exploring who I was as a person. And I had all the dogs, is what I would say when people had asked me that question. But I was still missing something. Right. Like, it's hard to fully relate to other people and the relationship they have with their dogs if you don't have one yourself, if you're not experiencing it yourself. So I grew up a bit. I matured. I mean, it was during the pandemic that everything slowed down and things came into context, into focus. And I decided that I wanted to foster a dog. And then I met Elsa. She came, you know, from Texas. And on A rainy day, just like today, you know, she came in, into our house and I was like, oh my God. Oh, crap. Like, she's amazing.
- [39:31]
Podcast Host
Maybe just describe her for it.
- [39:33]
Elias Weiss Friedman
She's a beautiful husky mix. All white with a toasted marshmallow top, two blue eyes, and medium size. She's like about 50 pounds. Although in all honesty, she's like 55 pounds and needs to get back to 50 pounds. According to the vet, she spends too much time at grandma's house. And she's the best dog. You know, every dog is the best dog, but she's also the best dog. Extremely well behaved, she's non destructive and doesn't bark unless she's at the dog park. Doesn't eat street treats off the ground. Yeah, she's amazing. And you know, as the doggus, I was like, what type of dog will I end up with? Like, which is the dog for me? I've seen them all. But Elsa is the right dog for me. You know, she wasn't the dog I imagined sort of ending up with like, but now I'm a husky guy. I love. Huskies are husky mixes. They have a independent, thinking mind. They're very smart, they keep you on your toes. They do shed a lot. Our vacuum gets a lot of use. You know, I've heard people say, like, once you get a dog that's like very smart, then you're used to certain things. Like, they just have like an adeptness through life that is sort of charming. And so I think I've gotten used to that. Like, she, she's really like her own independent person. And, you know, whenever we're having like chicken night or something, she'll go up to Sam, my wife, and you know, mommy always got the big piece of chicken. Yeah, that's why I go to mom. Daddy had chicken too, but mommy always gives me the big pieces. Daddy gives me the small pieces. Not as good. I don't know.
- [41:10]
Podcast Host
And so even for you, it took a while to maybe take the plunge. I know an occupational hazard of your job is that people ask you for advice all the time about whether they should get a dog and picking a dog. When you think about all the benefits, benefits of having a dog, what advice.
- [41:24]
Elias Weiss Friedman
Would you give people who are thinking.
- [41:26]
Podcast Host
About taking the plunge?
- [41:27]
Elias Weiss Friedman
I think make sure you're ready. So many dogs that end up in shelters because people aren't ready, whether it's because they are seeing some trend on the Internet around a certain breed or a celebrity has one, oh, I want that dog. Or maybe the kids want a dog for the holidays. But then the dog grows up and you haven't socialized or trained it properly, and now it's sort of eating your apartment. Like, there's a whole bunch of things you have to be careful about and be responsible about. So I think the first thing is, you know, researching what it means to be a dog owner. What is required? Can you afford to have a dog? You know, they're not as expensive as kids, but, you know, you have to bring your dog to the vet. Dog food can be expensive. And then if you check all those boxes and you're truly sort of ready to have a dog, and I think there's no, like, good time to have a dog. Now's a good time if you're ready. I love the idea of fostering a dog from a rescue group because you get an idea of what that dog will be like to live with, and you can try it out for a minute while doing an important service, which is to help alleviate the shelter system. If you have a dog for a couple weeks and you say, oh, like, this is great, I love the feeling of this. Follow your heart. You know, I think there's so many ways to end up in a good situation with a dog as long as you're being responsible about it. And you do plenty of research. You know, if you do decide that you want, you know, a puppy from a particular breed, you should not be able to get that dog next weekend, which is what a lot of people, I think, fall prey to. Is this sort of like, oh, we want, like, this golden doodle or something, and we can go next weekend when we're free? Like, that's a little bit too impulsive in my book. You know, I've seen the shelter systems, how overcrowded they are. So I'm always a proponent of. If your heart isn't set on something so specific, then oftentimes the best dog is already there waiting for you. A lot of those dogs are mutts. You know, they're one of a kind, interesting dogs. A lot of them are adults, so you know what they're like already. Their sort of temperament is already established. You know what you're getting into. And there's also this sort of serendipitous, cosmic thing that happens when you save a dog from, effectively, they could be euthanized. Seriously, you have a special relationship with that dog. And I think that they know that you saved them from that, that you took them out of a place that was uncomfortable. Dogs aren't meant to live in kennels. They're social beings. They're meant to live on the outside and get to know their family and have a couch and predictability. So if you put all those things together, that's sort of the best way to go about it, in my opinion.
- [44:03]
Podcast Host
Dogs give us so, so many benefits. I'm just wondering what you think a world without dogs would look like if.
- [44:08]
Elias Weiss Friedman
You take dogs away. It would not be good. Like, hopefully that never happens. I think the world would not be a better place. It would be more depressing. We would go for fewer walks. We would laugh a lot less. We would spend less time vacuuming. That's one thing. I guess it'd be a weird world.
- [44:29]
Podcast Host
Let's hope we never do have to live in a world without dogs, because.
- [44:33]
Dr. Laurie Santos
They are pretty awesome.
- [44:35]
Podcast Host
But in the unlikely event that you're not a dog person or you're allergic to them, there's still a lot you can take away from Elias and his story, because dogs are a great reminder that the best way to cope is often getting back to the happiness fundamentals. With or without a dog, you should get outside and get active. Don't worry about being goofy, goofy or vulnerable. Find new ways to play and get more present. And above all, make sure you excitedly meet and greet the people around you just like a dog in a dog park would. While you work on that, I'll be hard at work on the next episode in our special season on creative coping strategies, in which we'll focus on the surprising power of ritual and etiquette. Oh, and napkins. Lots of napkins.
- [45:17]
Elias Weiss Friedman
Does everybody not have a napkin in collection? They should. I can strongly advocate for having one.
- [45:22]
Podcast Host
All that next time on the Happiness lab with me, Dr. Laurie Santos.
- [45:33]
Mill Product Representative
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Anabe Representative
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- [47:15]
Podcast Host
This is an I Heart podcast.