Are You Living a Life You’d Want to Be Remembered For?

Summary

The High Performance Podcast

Episode: Are You Living a Life You’d Want to Be Remembered For?

Date: September 10, 2025

Hosts: Jake Humphrey & Damian Hughes
Featured Guest: Dr. Ali Abdaal

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Episode Overview

In this thought-provoking episode, host Damian Hughes sits down with Ali Abdaal—former NHS doctor and renowned productivity expert—to explore the fundamental question: “Are you living a life you’d want to be remembered for?” Through deep discussions, they investigate the power of writing your own obituary as a tool for life alignment, how habits sustain high performance, and ways to avoid burnout by clarifying what truly matters to you.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Obituary Exercise — Living with Intention

• Ali’s Core Habit: Each year, Ali Abdaal writes his own obituary to check if his life trajectory aligns with his deeper purpose and aspirations.

• Purpose: It's not about morbidity or death but about ensuring life is lived intentionally and meaningfully.

  “What would you want your obituary to say? …Because the way you answer it tells us everything about how you're living right now.”
  — Damian Hughes, 01:33

• Ali’s View:

  “If the thing that you are doing for work fundamentally is misaligned with what you actually want to be doing, then we're going to have a problem. And it's only a matter of time before you start feeling that sense of meaningless and purposeness.”
  — Ali Abdaal, 04:45

• The Power of Clarity: By writing his own story as he wants it to be told, Ali finds motivation and a “compass” for daily priorities.

  “This is what I wrote for my obituary a month ago and I do it every year. It turns his obituary into almost like a compass for him, a reminder of the direction he wants to travel in.”
  — Damian Hughes, 10:07

[Key Segment — The Obituary Reading]

• Ali reads his imagined obituary, painting a vivid picture of an integrated, purpose-driven life oriented around teaching and family.
  [09:14 – 10:07]
  • Emphasizes values: inspiring others, holistic integration (mind, body, heart, soul), humility, and the primacy of family.

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2. Misalignment Burnout: Recognizing Energy Loss and Course Correction

• Types of Burnout Discussed:

  • Depletion burnout: Fatigue from energy-draining habits (solved by simple recharges like walking a dog).
  • Misalignment burnout: The “trickiest one”—long-term fatigue arising from living apart from your core values and passions.

  “Misalignment shows up first in your energy. So use that as a fairly accurate barometer.”
  — Damian Hughes, 11:19

• Science Behind Mortality Reflection:

  • “Mortality salience” (awareness of death) increases purposeful, connection-driven, and pro-social behavior.
  • Research cited showing positive outcomes—including generosity and meaningful action—when people are asked to consider their mortality.

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3. Practical Applications: Three Key Habits for Listeners

Damian summarizes actionable recommendations:
([10:39–11:19])

1. Write Your Own Obituary:
   Take 10 minutes to describe the legacy you’d love to leave.

2. Reverse Engineer Backwards:
   Determine what needs to be true in the next five years, 12 months, or even this week for your story to become reality.

3. Check Your Energy:
   Notice when you feel most alive versus drained—use this as a feedback loop for alignment.

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4. The Batman Effect & Performance Personas

[Memorable Segment: "The Glasses Are Fake"]

• Ali shares his use of “performance personas” to step into his most effective self:
  [18:58 – 20:47]

  • He wears fake glasses as a “trigger” to embody his teacher persona (modeled on Professor X from X-Men).
  • Draws parallels to athletes (Kobe Bryant’s “Black Mamba,” Beyonce’s “Sasha Fierce”) using alter egos to boost performance.

  "...these glasses are actually fake because I've had laser eye surgery. But when I put the glasses on...that's like my thing of like, I'm in that mode of being the teacher, and it's not about me. It's about trying to be of service to the audience…"
  — Ali Abdaal, 19:46

  “Those performance personas are a way to combat, almost borrowing belief. Or a way to combat imposter syndrome.”
  — Will (Producer), 23:31

• Discussion extends to sporting legends (Marvelous Marvin Hagler, Tyson Fury) and the importance—and potential risks—of separating performance personas from everyday identities.

---

5. Sincerity Over Seriousness — The Role of Play

[Highlight: Alan Watts, Sincerity vs. Seriousness]

([25:20–26:14])

• Ali explains that high engagement and low stakes create “play”—it's about sincerity, not excessive seriousness.

  “Play happens when we are highly engaged with something, but also when the stakes are low. So this is the idea of kind of making it feel sincere rather than serious.”
  — Ali Abdaal, 25:20

• Damian and Will reinforce that the most powerful and memorable learning—and most sustainable work—comes from an atmosphere of engaged fun, not pressure.

---

6. Lowering the Bar & Combating Procrastination

[Key Takeaway: Lower the Bar, Focus on What You Can Control]

([28:23–30:14])

• Ali reveals his practical mantras for getting started—especially when facing daunting tasks or content creation:

  “All I'm trying to do is share a message that I think would be helpful to at least one person.”
  — Ali Abdaal, 28:30

• The hosts discuss how lowering expectations actually unlocks action and reduces procrastination—it's about reducing the psychological “weight” of any project.

  “The more we raise the bar for ourselves, the more...the more you're struggling, the more you want to lower the bar just to make it super easy to get started.”
  — Ali Abdaal, 29:41

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

| Timestamp | Speaker | Quote / Moment | |-----------|----------------|---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 01:33 | Damian Hughes | “What would you want your obituary to say?...the way you answer it tells us everything about how you're living right now.” | | 04:45 | Ali Abdaal | “If the thing that you are doing for work is misaligned with what you actually want, then we're going to have a problem.” | | 05:41 | Ali Abdaal | “It's like we're driving with the...all we can see is just like, what's in front of us in the headlights..." | | 09:14 | Damian Hughes | [Ali’s imagined obituary reading—defining his desired legacy as teacher, integrator, and family man.] | | 19:46 | Ali Abdaal | “These glasses are actually fake...when I put them on, I'm in that mode of being the teacher...not about me...” | | 25:20 | Ali Abdaal | “Play happens when we are highly engaged with something, but also when the stakes are low...sincere rather than serious.” | | 28:30 | Ali Abdaal | “I'm not concerned about the performance of this video. All I'm trying to do is share a message that I think would be helpful to at least one person.” | | 29:41 | Ali Abdaal | “The more you're struggling, the more you want to lower the bar just to make it super easy to get started.” |

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 01:33 — The Obituary Question (Why it matters)
• 04:00 — Misalignment Burnout & Energy
• 05:41 — Headlights to Horizon Metaphor
• 09:14 — Ali Reads His “Obituary” & Reflection
• 10:39 — Three Practical Habits for Listeners
• 18:58 — The Batman Effect & Fake Glasses Story
• 25:20 — Sincerity vs. Seriousness: The Importance of Play
• 28:23 — Lowering the Bar & Combating Procrastination

---

Final Takeaways

• Begin with the end in mind: Writing your obituary clarifies what matters and guides day-to-day choices.
• Alignment over hustle: High performance is less about doing more and more about energy, joy, and purpose.
• Habit of reflection: Regularly checking alignment prevents burnout and ensures sustained, meaningful achievement.
• Adopt performance personas: Step into roles or adopt triggers to help access your best self, but know when to step out.
• Lower the bar: Reduce expectations to overcome procrastination; focus on what you can control.
• Make it fun: Approach meaningful work with sincerity and levity for sustained impact.

---

“Live with alignment. Begin with the end in mind and keep writing your own high performance story.”
— Damian Hughes, 31:42

This episode blends inspiring stories, practical frameworks, and psychological insights—offering listeners real tools to live intentionally, perform authentically, and create a legacy worth remembering.

Transcript

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One activity I did was to write out my own obituary, where there's some evidence that this is actually really helpful. Because you think to yourself, what would I want my obituary to say?

[Damian Hughes]

Welcome back to the Essential Habits of High Performance. This is a show where we explore what separates the good from the truly great. Now, let me start this episode with a question that might feel uncomfortable, but it's also incredibly powerful. What would you want your obituary to say? The story that captures who you were, what what you stood for, and how you'll be remembered. Now, this isn't a trick question, and it's not even intended to be a morbid one, because the way you answer it tells us everything about how you're living right now. Today, we'll explore that question through the story of Ali Abdaal, a former doctor who's now one of the world's most followed productivity experts. Ali is someone who's built an extraordinary life for himself by constantly asking the question, am I in alignment? And his habit to achieve this. It's writing his own obituary every single year. Now, I know it might sound a little unusual, it might even sound a little bit dark to you, but stay with me, because as you're going to hear. This really isn't about death at all. It's about how we live. It's about how we recharge our energy, avoid burnout, and make sure that we're living a life on purpose. Hey, I'm Damian Hughes. I'm an author, I'm an academic, and I've spent over 25 years of my life practically studying what drives elite performance across business, sport and the arts. And here on Essential Habits, we break down the mindsets, the routines, and those tiny changes that can lead to big results for you. So let's look a little closer at the life of of Ali Abdaal. Ali doesn't just teach productivity, he's actually rewritten the rules of it. He was a junior doctor in the NHS who left to build a business with millions of followers. He's constantly asked himself that question, is this the life I want to live? When he came into the high performance studio and sat opposite us, he was positively fizzing with energy. He was charismatic, he was funny and he was packed full of ideas. But what he wanted to talk about wasn't success, it was burnout. Specifically, the kind of burnout that gradually just sneaks up on you.

[Ali Abdaal]

So part of overcoming depletion burnout is recognizing, when are my energy levels going down? What are actually the things that replenish them? Yeah, taking the dog for a walk, painting something, whatever the thing might be. And then the final one is misalignment burnout. Now, this is the trickiest one, because this is like a thing that creeps on us over time when the things that we are doing are not aligned with what we. What actually lights us up and what feels meaningful to us.

[Damian Hughes]

Think about that phrase, misalignment burnout. This isn't the burnout you get from staying up too late or cramming too many tasks into your diary. It's that deeper fatigue that comes from living a life that isn't really yours by doing work that doesn't match your values or chasing goals that don't matter to you. Ali put it starkly.

[Ali Abdaal]

If the thing that you are doing for work fundamentally is misaligned with what you actually want to be doing, then we're going to have a problem. And it's only a matter of time before you start feeling that sense of meaningless and purposeness, because literally, the thing that you're doing is, to you, feels meaningless and purposeless.

[Damian Hughes]

And isn't that the trap that so many of us fall into? We chase the bonus, we climb the ladder of success, we tick the boxes. And then we. One day we'd look up and wonder, how on earth did I get here? So how do we avoid making that mistake? Ali's answer surprised me because he told us about an exercise he does every year.

[Ali Abdaal]

One activity I did was to write out my own obituary, where there's some evidence that this is actually really helpful. Because you think to yourself, what would I want my obituary to say?

[Damian Hughes]

Now, that might sound bleak, granted, but the effect is the opposite. Ali explained it by using a vivid metaphor.

[Ali Abdaal]

It's so easy for us to get so caught up in the day to day because it's like we're driving with the. And all we can see is just like, what's in front of us in the headlights. And by doing that, we can often end up in a place where we're like, wait a minute, how did I end up here?

[Damian Hughes]

The obituary exercise forces you to zoom out. It takes you from headlights to looking at the horizon. And it echoes something which the leadership coach, Daniel Harkevy once wrote in his book Living Forward. When we take the time to write our eulogies, it produces this magnetic pull power that pushes us ahead. Our priorities and our vision for where we want to be become crystal clear. This clarity allows us to make the greatest decisions, break out of comfortable patterns, and begin working towards a better future. In other words, if we start with the end in mind, then we can reverse engineer backwards. This was just as Ali told us.

[Ali Abdaal]

You know, we only have one life and all that like, you know, I would really like to do whatever I can to help nudge my life trajectory to a direction that I actually want it to be.

[Damian Hughes]

Now, Ali used this habit to spot when he was veering off course. And then it gave him permission to subtly change direction. Because when you know how you want to be remembered, it's easier to know what you should be prioritizing today. So why are we learning about this? Here's where it gets fascinating. Science has got some compelling evidence to back it up. Psychologists call this exercise mortality salience, the awareness of our own death. And far from being depressing, it can actually spark energy and purpose and even more kindness in our lives. One study split participants into groups. Some were asked to reflect on their own death, while others were asked to think about natural disasters or climate change. The results? Well, those who contemplated their own mortality were more likely to want to connect with bigger causes, cooperate with others, and find meaning in whatever task they were doing. Jamie Arndt, who co authored the study, explained, when people are made aware of their own mortality they often seek to emphasize their belongings to something bigger and more durable than themselves. The psychologist Ken Vale also added, depending on whether people thought of local or global events, they either rallied around their immediate community or instead they expanded their sense of belonging to view it as humanity as a whole. But the effect of simply thinking about your own mortality shows up in your daily life too. People who reflect on deafer more likely to quit smoking, exercise more, or wear sunscreen. In another experiment, people that were asked to walk past a cemetery became more generous to strangers, but only if they had been reminded about the importance of kindness. Mortality reminders even reduce frivolous spending. As the psychologist Jamie Arn admitted, we were surprised by how much research showed positive outcomes from raising people's awareness of their mortality. So here's the paradox. Thinking about your death doesn't diminish your life. It actually seems to deepen your connection to it. And all that brings us back to Ali Abda. Here's part of what he recently Ali.

[Ali Abdaal]

Abdaal was one of the world's greatest teachers. He inspired and educated millions all around the world to build a life they truly love. He holistically combined disciplines from science to philosophy to create an integrated system of living themed around mind, body, heart and soul, which resonated with his loyal following of tens of millions of people all around the world. In his personal life, Ali exemplified and lived his philosophy. He was disarmingly intelligent, yet always humble and never made you feel less than when you talked to him. You really felt like you were the most important person in the world, that he was relating to you in mind, heart and soul. At the same time, he didn't take himself too seriously. He knew his work could be heavy, but he approached it with a lightness and ease that made it accessible and that inspired people to believe they could change their lives too. Throughout all the success he had flying around the world sharing his message, Ali's priority was always his family. He remained closely connected to his wife, his children and his grandchildren up until the moment of his death. He died peacefully in their idyllic family home, surrounded by loved ones. We all mourned him, but his message lives on inside all of us and inspires us to live an integrated, copy connected and productive life.

[Damian Hughes]

When he finished reading that to us, he smiled and then he said something remarkable. This is what I wrote up for my obituary a month ago and I do it every year. I'll just take a moment to notice what that does. It turns his obituary into almost like a compass for him, a reminder of the direction he wants to travel in. I don't consider that morbid. I consider that pity motivating. So how do we apply this in our own lives? Well, here's three simple practices that you might consider adopting as an essential habit. The first one is obviously, write your own obituary. Take 10 minutes to do it, and draft the story that you'd love to be told about your life. What impact do you want to make? Who do you want to be remembered as? The second tip, reverse engineer, backwards. If that's your legacy, what would need to happen in the next five years for that to be true? Or even the next 12 months? Or even zoom in a little bit closer? What would you need to be doing over the next week? And then the third tip, Check your energy levels. When do you feel most alive? When do you feel drained? Misalignment shows up first in your energy. So use that as a fairly accurate barometer. So let me ask you again. What do you want your obituary to say? Ali Abdel's habit shows us that high performance isn't about squeezing more hours into the day. It's about alignment. Making sure that the work we do, the people we serve, and the way we want to spend our energy actually matches who we want to become. Because as we've seen many times on high performance, it's not just about doing more. It's about doing what we do really well. Remember what Ali told us?

[Ali Abdaal]

You know, we only have one life and all that, you know, I would really like to do whatever I can to help nudge my life trajectory to a direction that I actually want it to be.

[Damian Hughes]

Write the story of your life as you'd want it to be told, not as it is, but as you want it to be. And then take one step today that brings you a little bit closer to that version. Because when we live with the end in mind, we don't fear death. Instead, we embrace life. Now I'm going to be joined by our brilliant producer, Will, and we're going to have a listen to some of the other great lessons that Ali has shared with us, including lowering the bar, how a Persona can help you perform, and the importance of taking what you do seriously rather than taking yourself so seriously.

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[Will (Producer)]

Hello, Damo.

[Damian Hughes]

Hey, Will, how are you mate?

[Will (Producer)]

I'm good, mate, I'm good. Did you know Ali Abdul before he came on?

[Damian Hughes]

Yes, but I'll tell you where, where I'd heard of him that we. We got invited to a book launch event from Penguin where they were announcing titles coming up and this was a year in advance of his book coming out.

[Will (Producer)]

I remember this.

[Damian Hughes]

Ali didn't show up but he sent a YouTube video that just gave me a headache because he was sort of like showing how our lives are so hectic and, and frenetic. But it was so fast paced and he spoke so quickly. I remember watching it thinking, that guy is giving me a headache just trying to keep up with him. So when he agreed to come on, there was a little bit of hesitancy. I was thinking, this guy's such a billion brain, I'm not sure I'm gonna be able to cope with this.

[Will (Producer)]

Yeah, well, I mean I knew him through YouTube actually. Yeah. So I knew him as a YouTuber but obviously he has this, you know, heritage in as a doctor and actually, you know, the purpose of his channel and what he was trying to do and trying to do good and represent something was really interesting. But that the fast pacedness of YouTube compared to real life is. There was definitely a difference. I remember we booked him. It was the deliberate booking at the time of year we booked him. We booked him for January and I'll ask you in a second if you remember the other guests around it, because we deliberately booked him for people to help them kick start their year, set their intentions and start building great habits. So we booked people like who are the people that can help us do that? So Ali was one of them. Do you remember any of the others?

[Damian Hughes]

Ben Bergeron.

[Will (Producer)]

Ben Bergeron coached some of the best crossfitters in the world. Yeah, I did.

[Damian Hughes]

There's still one idea that I took from the Ben Bergeron which is just set your alarm clock 15 minutes earlier than you would do.

[Will (Producer)]

We should do an episode on the Ben Bergeron. We should put it on the list. Yeah, it's a very simple thing.

[Damian Hughes]

Oh, it's on there to write. I'm working on the script.

[Will (Producer)]

Yeah, you are.

[Ali Abdaal]

Yeah.

[Will (Producer)]

And yeah, it was Ben Bergeron. Exactly. It was James Clear. Oh, and it was Ali. So you've got these three almost heavyweights, heavyweights in their areas. So obviously James, which we've obviously focused on, on, on high performance was like this best selling author of Atomic Habits. You probably can't get bigger in that world. Ben, who's this CrossFit coach, but just. You don't have to be a CrossFit. You don't mean to CrossFit to like this.

[Damian Hughes]

Yeah.

[Will (Producer)]

In fact, we barely didn't talk already about CrossFit at all. But I. We should definitely talk about him. I love that episode. And Ali's a productivity expert, and it was the most successful month we've had in a very, very long time.

[Damian Hughes]

I love that month because it was so packed with really practical insights. These weren't people giving you abstract ideas, like, as we've discussed here with Ali and his eulogy idea, just really simple concepts that any of us can implement. But all three of them, whether it was James, Ben, or Ali, they were absolutely brimming with it. So if people are thinking, yeah, could do with a little bit of shot of inspiration, get back to those three as a minimum.

[Will (Producer)]

So timeless, timeless episodes. What. What should we dig into first with Ali, do you think?

[Damian Hughes]

Well, let's talk about his appearance. And I mean it in a very specific way. His glasses. Because he looked really studious, didn't he? Almost very bookish when he came into the studio. And then he surprised us by revealing that he didn't need the glasses. In fact, there was nothing in the frames. Let me explain why.

[Ali Abdaal]

So essentially, these psychologists, they got a bunch of kids together and they split them up into a few groups and. And they asked them all to work on this, like, solving this puzzle type thing. And for some of the kids, they were like, you know, just solve the puzzle. For another group of kids, they were like, solve the puzzle, but think about something fun while you're doing it. But for the third group, what they said was, solve the puzzle. But imagine you are your favorite cartoon character, like Dora the Explorer or Batman. And they called the study the Batman effect because they found that the kids who thought of themselves as their favorite cartoon characters, they smashed it in their performance on the task. They enjoyed it more. They were more creative, they're more productive, all of the good things, because they got out of their own heads and into this Batman or Dora the Explorer alter ego. And there have been so many athletes and famous people throughout the years that have done this. So Kobe Bryant had his alter ego of the Black Mamba.

[Will (Producer)]

Yeah.

[Ali Abdaal]

Beyonce had Sasha Fierce. Adele had an amalgamation of, like, Sasha Fierce and this country singer called someone Carter, as was Sasha Carter. In the early days of Adele's career, when she was struggling with stage frightened, she would go out on stage and she would pretend that she is not Adele. She is, in fact, Sasha Carter, this, like, legendary country singer who's, like, amazingly, you know, confident and fearless. So the thing that I do for this and the way I kind of got over this doctor thing is a bit grandiose, but I imagine myself as young Charles Xavier from the X Men series. Like, Professor X, because he's really cool. He teaches people, and he's just a nice guy all around and like, oh, you know, I would like to be the guy that can teach people stuff. And so these glasses are actually fake because I've had laser eye surgery. But when I put the glasses on, that's like my thing of, like, I'm in that mode of being the teacher, and it's not about me. It's about trying to be of service to the audience. When I'm in my normal mode, you know, I'm in that. I'm in my head. I'm in, like, worrying about what people think of me. All the usual crap. When I put the glasses on, I'm like, no, my goal here is to teach and to try and help people as much as I can.

[Will (Producer)]

I remember that now, actually. I remember that was probably the bit that stuck out the first time I listened to. It was like, the admission that the glasses were fake because you didn't actually have to admit that. But it really does highlight even how some of the most successful people that you see, like Adele, Beyonce, these elite performers, sometimes have to fake it by stepping into a role.

[Damian Hughes]

Yeah, yeah. Pretending, you know, like, I've seen it. Where Many years ago, I wrote a book on a box called Marvin Hagler, but he changed his name by deed pole to Marvelous Marvin Hagler. And if he didn't know you, he wouldn't respond if you didn't call him Marvelous Marvin.

[Ali Abdaal]

Wow.

[Damian Hughes]

Which I. On the surface, you go, like, there's an ego there. There's something going on. But the reality was, that was how we saw himself in public. I'm Marvelous Marvin, this warrior that goes to battle, and I want to have my due deference showed me. If it works, who are we to knock it?

[Will (Producer)]

So did he need to be that person to play that role and be called Marvis Marvin all the time, have it reinforced around all of his life for it to work?

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[Damian Hughes]

Although I think privately, like, with friends and family and things like that, I don't think he was as strident about being called Marvelous Marvin, but in public. So when I met him, he was playing a public role of I'm here because you wouldn't see the boxer, the fighter, the guy that you look up to. So I will only refer to myself as Marvelous Marvin.

[Will (Producer)]

So when in Ali's case, when he wears the glasses, it just gets him into a place where he has the. Almost like the confidence and the ability to speak like a teacher or. And do what he does. And I find that. I kind of find it fascinating because when you have to do things like this, which don't come easy, and you have to do podcasts and then you have the other side of it where you're more the behind the scenes side with all the books and all, you know, the coaching you do on the side. There is a difference.

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[Will (Producer)]

What role you have to play.

[Damian Hughes]

Well, if people are listening to this, thinking, oh, I'd like to explore a bit more of it. Go back and listen to the Essential Habits episodes we did where we featured Jason Fox, because we speak about the Batman effect there of how Jason learned to go, what would a commando do in this situation? So rather than what would Jason Fox do? He'd learn to get into a commando mindset that when he was out in the field, he was the ultimate commando. And the Batman effect is almost. It shows you the power of self distance and it gives you like a role, a Persona to step into that primes your identity. You know, similar to John Legend who sat down with us and told us that he's actually called John Stevens. He just adopted the name Legend and then felt a desire to want to act up to that legendary status.

[Will (Producer)]

Yeah, those performance Personas are a way to combat, almost borrowing belief. Or a way to combat imposter syndrome.

[Damian Hughes]

Again. Another example from a brilliant guest we've had was Tyson Fury where he said, tyson Fury, I'm a flawed human. I'm a rubbish dad. I'm a bloke just doing his best to get by. The Gypsy King has never been beaten, never been wrong. He's invulnerable. And it's almost that identity that you take on first certain contacts. The danger is when those identities get mixed up.

[Will (Producer)]

I was just about to ask you that. What is then the. Yeah, the distinction between stepping out of one to the other, but they can merge almost into the. That that Gypsy King role can affect the Tyson Fury role. And you forget almost where is my reality in that?

[Damian Hughes]

Yeah, there's got to be a demarcation zone where you step out of it. But that's for any of us, you know, like doing a job like this, where we're in the studio, we're Sort of trying to respond to in the moment stuff and then getting home and being a parent or a partner, there's a different role to play. You can't adopt the same mannerisms, the same behaviors that you would do with your kids. Your kids don't want that.

[Will (Producer)]

Tyson had to ground himself by taking the bins out, going to the tip and just doing the mundane jobs to get out. Down from that high. I've heard musicians say the same. You've heard, you know Matt Willis, who was on the podcast for Buster? So yeah, I almost. And like Robbie Williams, everyone like that. I don't recognize sometimes the person on the stage, like, it's almost a different person to how I am.

[Damian Hughes]

Can I share another clip that really resonated with me that I really enjoyed Ali explaining the distinction. Because if you listen to the whole episode, there was real levity in it. He was really fun and engaging as a personality, and he gave us a distinction that he holds true as to how you can still have fun while still making sure that your message is understood.

[Ali Abdaal]

Essentially, play happens when we are highly engaged with something, but also when the stakes are low. So this is the idea of kind of making it feel sincere rather than serious. This is something that the philosopher Alan Watts used to talk about.

[Damian Hughes]

I love that phrase in your book. Go on, explain more on that.

[Ali Abdaal]

So imagine you're playing, I don't know, a board game with friends or something. Like, no one wants to play with someone who takes it too seriously. It's a bit of a drain. They're like obsessed with the rules. It's like, you know, it just kind of sucks the fun out of it. But you also don't want to play a board game with someone who's completely half assed because that's no fun either. It's like they're like, oh, whatever, it's just a game. It's like, no, come on, man. Like, you know, you want someone who approaches a board game sincerely, but not seriously. And that is how we. That is one of the ways we get this feeling of play in our work. So whatever the work is, whether you're doing a presentation or, I don't know, making a YouTube video, or in my case, writing discharge letters as a doctor, whatever the thing might be, instead of thinking this is serious, think this is sincere. And I'm going to give my attention.

[Damian Hughes]

To this, I really like that because I think there's something about, if you catch your mind back to when you're a kid at school and you think about the lessons where you learnt most, I guarantee you were having a laugh in them. There was something, there was a bit of levity, it was a bit of fun, but you could relate it to the wider context of your life. And I think sometimes we can get too caught up in our own self importance at times and then lose actually the essence of it, which is we should be having fun along the way with this.

[Will (Producer)]

Oh man. Like I speak about it with the team who make high performance in the shows a lot as well and it doesn't mean like every day's got to be a merry go every day, it's just a much of laugh. But I was like the minute, the minute this doesn't become fun to do is the minute we're slightly in trouble. You know, we have the privilege of sitting down and hearing from amazing people and that effects rubs off on everyone who works on the show as much as the, you know, the people hosting it and listening to it too. So, you know, we're sitting in a studio today in Germany about to have a massive sports star come in. That is nothing but an enjoyable experience and you have to do your work, do your research, be prepared, know that, you know, this is important and I want to do it well. But this is fun too.

[Ali Abdaal]

Yeah.

[Damian Hughes]

Like you say, the moment that it starts becoming too onerous or too serious, I think anything starts to lose its impact. So that distinction really resonated. What about you though? Gone. So I, I conscious I've dominated this bit but was there any bits that stood out for you?

[Will (Producer)]

Yeah, there really was. There's one bit in it that he talked about lowering the bar and actually I've not heard too many people speak about this this way. You know, you really something to remind yourself before you go in, in his case to making a video or doing something that actually doesn't have to be the most important thing, the most life changing thing in the world. Remember again why you're there, why you're doing it and don't set those expectations so high. Which I think actually goes against what a lot of people can think. But listen to what Ali says because it's, it's fascinating to see how he uses that technique in what he does as a YouTuber and a doctor.

[Ali Abdaal]

It's kind of embarrassing but I actually have a list of a list of mantras or affirmations that I read out to myself before I film a video.

[Damian Hughes]

Okay.

[Ali Abdaal]

Something that I've long struggled with where, you know, and I think anyone, you know, even if you're not a YouTuber listening to this. You can probably relate to this where you probably have some kind of work where you see on your calendar and you're like, you know, you get that feeling of, oh, God, okay, I guess I've just got to do this. You're probably going to get drained at the end of it. And so I'm obsessed with trying to find any way possible to get rid of that ugh kind of feeling around videos. So when it comes. When it comes to my little YouTube videos, the thing I tell myself is I am not concerned about the performance of this video. All I'm trying to do is share a message that I think would be helpful to at least one person. At least one person. And this is an idea that I talk about towards the middle of the book around combating procrastination. You know, one of the big parts of why we procrastinate is because the thing that we're trying to do feels like a big deal. It's like, I really noticed this. I don't know if you guys did as well with writing a book, because a book is a big deal, right? Like, it feels like a big deal. It feels like we're going to get publisher and it's going to be printed. And there's something about a printed thing that makes it very different to a Google Doc. And so I'd procrastinate so much. And what we find if we look at the evidence around procrastination is that if you lower the bar, just make it easier on yourself. Approaching YouTube videos and approaching. My work is about lowering the bar. It's about thinking this video is not. I'm not aiming for this video to get a million views. I'm aiming for it to help at least one person. And that is something that's broadly under my control. I'm aiming to enjoy the process while I'm doing it. It's under my control. And I actually think this applies to literally anything. The more we raise the bar for ourselves, the more for some Olympic athletes, yes, raising the bar is how they get to high performance. But if we're not at that level yet and we are struggling with procrastination like we all do, even Olympic athletes in some areas of their life, they struggle with procrastination. The more you're struggling, the more you want to lower the bar just to make it super easy to get started.

[Damian Hughes]

There's three things that often cripple people from performing at their potential. One is the fear of consequences, of getting it wrong. Some is that we don't Focus enough on our abilities to be able to handle the situation well. The third one is when the weight of expectation is either too distant or too heavy. Because then if it's too distant, you're, well, what's the point? If it's too heavy, you go, I can't cope with this. Whereas when we just lower that bar like Ali talks about and goes, I only have to do one rep. I don't have to go into the gym and do 10 reps, just do one. Or, you know, rather than go for a run, if you feel exhausted, go for a walk at a really gentle pace. That's all simple examples of just lowering the bar, being kinder to yourself.

[Will (Producer)]

Yeah, and. And what he said around, like, you're in. Those are the things you are in control of. Like going into a podcast or a YouTube video or something going like this needs to hit a million views. This has got to be the biggest thing we've done. You can't control that part of it, but all you can control is just focusing on the things that you know you can do. And that's why I took from that, because you can have big guests that we speak to and loads of, you know, build up expectation, loads of hype, loads of like. But actually it's the same process as it was the week before. Yeah, doing the same thing, control what those things that you can do. And I think that's what I took from, like lowering the bar. Doesn't mean I don't care, doesn't mean I don't want it to do well. But actually those are the things that I can focus on and control.

[Damian Hughes]

I think that beautifully summarizes a lot of Ali's messaging in the wider episode, which these are all simple ideas that anyone can take away and implement really quickly in their own lives. And the benefits from it are huge. So thank you for listening to the essential habits of high performance. If today's episode has resonated with you, would you consider sharing it with someone who might need the reminder that their work and their whole life can have an important meaning? Listen, I'm Damien Hughes, and until next time, live with alignment. Begin with the end in mind and keep writing your own high performance story.

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