Podcast Summary

Ready For Love with Hilary Silver

Episode #84: How Investing in Yourself Can Change Your Love Life
Date: October 3, 2025
Host: Hilary Silver
Special Guest: Lori Young

Overview of the Episode

In this inspiring episode, Hilary Silver interviews Lori Young, a graduate of the "Ready for Love" program, about Lori’s transformative journey from repeated romantic disappointment to personal empowerment and, ultimately, finding love and purpose. The conversation candidly explores how investing in your own growth—mentally, emotionally, and even financially—can radically shift not only your love life but your entire experience of self-worth, ambition, and connection.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Catalyst for Change and Investing in Yourself

• Lori’s Breaking Point: Lori shares a vulnerable moment that pushed her to seek help—a recurring pattern of painful relationships and a realization that "something in my heart is broken" ([00:00]).
• Choosing Growth Over Comfort: Hesitation about investing in self-development, including the now-famous "saving for a couch" story, highlights the challenge and necessity of prioritizing one’s own well-being over material security.
  • “Do you want to save for a couch or do you want to invest in yourself and then buy a home together with somebody someday and fill it up with amazing furniture and blah, blah, blah?” —Hilary ([08:22])
  • Lori’s takeaway: “I’m worth investing in and the couch, whatever, will come and go, but I’m here to stay.” ([09:46])

2. Cultural & Personal Barriers Women Face

• Supportive Community: Hilary points out that women are often raised in competitive rather than supportive environments and that “Ready for Love” aims to flip that script ([03:16]).
• Faith and Self-Development: Lori grapples with teachings from her faith community that cast self-development in a negative light. Her breakthrough is in having “the hard conversation” and honoring her own feelings and needs ([14:34]).

3. Letting Go of Control and Embracing Responsibility

• Chinese Finger Trap Metaphor: Lori describes internalizing the lesson that trying to control others only traps herself in frustration ([04:13], [11:49]).
  • “If I just relax and let the outcome be the outcome and their behavior be their behavior…it’s easier to get out of that finger trap.” —Lori ([04:13])
• Owning Emotions: Lori discovers that she’s only responsible for her own feelings, not others’.
  • “I learned to be responsible for me and my own feelings and my own experiences and asking for what I need.” ([15:45])

4. Personal Transformation and Real-Life Results

• Bravery and Vulnerability: Lori finds power in expressing honest, vulnerable truths without fear of other’s reactions.
  • “I had the courage to say what I was thinking…That was a really great example for me, that I need to have the hard conversation and that regardless of how it went, I was going to be okay.” ([14:34])
• Redefining Relationship Patterns: Breaking away from chasing unhealthy “fireworks,” she learned to look for safety and consistency in relationships.
  • “Just because it’s familiar doesn’t mean it’s safe...When he came around, I knew intellectually…what safe looks like in a relationship and how do I feel when I’m in this relationship with him. And I felt great.” ([25:55])

5. New Relationships, New Confidence

• Meeting Her Husband: Lori describes proactively meeting her now-husband after years of discouragement, and how the relationship is grounded in mutual respect and joy ([24:28]-[28:15]).
  • “He is always happy to see me. And we do our best work on the couch. We have the best conversations at the end of the day. He has my back.” ([27:55])
• Healthy Partnership: Lori notes a radical shift in what she expects from a partner, focusing on shared joy and being “seen” for who she is ([28:37]).

6. Expanding Into Leadership and Public Life

• From Hiding to Leading: Bolstered by personal growth, Lori ran for city council—an act she sees as both act of service and self-affirmation ([12:08], [30:43]).
  • “I am fearless, unafraid, and unintimidated. I write it to myself every day…It has truly helped me step into a new identity of somebody who can be vulnerable and share my opinion.” ([31:14])
• Empowering Other Women: Lori, now in a leadership role, credits the program with giving her the self-assurance to have a voice and model confidence for others.
  • “People need to hear what I have to say so they can make a decision about whether or not to elect me into city council.” ([31:15])

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Learning to Invest in Myself
  • Lori: “I think about that couch comment all the time.” ([09:08])
  • Hilary: “Every time you invest in yourself, you are putting money back in your own pocket, without a doubt.” ([10:33])
• Radical Responsibility
  • Lori: “I stopped putting my moods on other people to make me happy. And I could take responsibility for my choices and my decisions. And that even in a relationship, I still get to be me, wholly uniquely me.” ([17:15])
• Healthy Versus Familiar Love
  • Lori: “I kind of decided for myself that the fireworks were the wrong indication. And that what I really felt was, like, myself. And I could laugh and I could joke, and we walked side by side…” ([25:55])
• Self-Betrayal and Autonomy
  • Hilary: “Self-betrayal and losing pieces of you in a relationship that are important to you isn’t something that somebody else can do. That is only something that we do to ourselves.” ([22:47])
• Stepping Into the Spotlight
  • Lori: “I’m more fearless, more unafraid. I’m more unintimidated. That makes a big difference.” ([32:51])
  • Hilary: “You are a shining star. You always were, and just didn’t know it, but now you know it and you own it…” ([32:51])

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Lori’s catalyst and “broken heart” moment: [00:00]
• Intro and Lori’s background: [00:55 – 02:48]
• Discovery of the program and the “couch” investment story: [06:46 – 09:14]
• Shifting mindset around money and self-worth: [09:46 – 11:15]
• Journaling and confidence for city council run: [12:08 – 13:47]
• Transformation moments inside the Ready for Love program: [14:34 – 17:15]
• Owning your feelings and boundaries: [19:22 – 21:58]
• Faith, fear, and relationship choices: [21:52 – 23:44]
• How Lori met her now-husband: [24:28 – 25:42]
• Recognizing healthy love, “fireworks” myth, and real compatibility: [25:55 – 28:37]
• From hiding to leading: public service and affirmations: [30:43 – 32:51]
• Final affirmations, gratitude, and encouragement: [32:51 – end]

Final Reflections

This episode is both a celebration of Lori’s journey and a roadmap for any woman ready to reclaim her power and chart a new path in love and life. Hilary and Lori’s dynamic centers on radical honesty, practical self-investment, and a deep belief that real change starts from within—ultimately showing listeners that self-worth is the key ingredient to healthy relationships, career breakthroughs, and authentic living.

Where to Find Lori:

• Commerce City Council Campaign: [lori4commercecity.com] ([36:34])
• Adams 14 Education Foundation: [adams14foundation.org]

Hilary Silver's Message:
"You’re not here to settle. You’re here because you’re ready for love—and everything else you deserve."