Podcast Summary: Ready For Love with Hilary Silver

Episode #88: How Kimberly Found Love After 13 Years of Avoiding It
Date: October 31, 2025

Episode Overview

This episode features Kimberly, a graduate of the Ready For Love program, who shares her deeply personal journey of self-forgiveness, emotional growth, and finding love after 13 years of resisting serious relationships following a divorce. Host Hilary Silver guides the conversation, highlighting how inner transformation and self-leadership lead to lasting change in love and life.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Kimberly’s Life Before “Ready For Love”

Pain Points & Avoidance

• Kimberly describes 13 years post-divorce where she kept relationships at arm's length, remaining emotionally unavailable while cycling through unsatisfying dating experiences.
• Personal and professional dissatisfaction collided during the early COVID-19 lockdown, prompting her to seek change.
  • “It had been 13 years since I got divorced and I had been really resisting any kind of serious relationship. …I really need to change something.” (03:34, A)

Self-Discovery & Openness

• Kimberly attributes her decision to join Hilary’s program to a sense of “the universe listening” as she stumbled upon Hilary’s materials at just the right moment.
  • “Your website or video came to me and I was like, oh, my goodness. Like, this is exactly what I'm looking for.” (01:54, A)

2. Root Causes of Avoidance: Forgiveness & Self-Love

Lingering Shame and Self-Blame

• Kimberly reveals she struggled to forgive herself for an affair during her marriage, internalizing the belief that she didn't deserve love afterward:
  • “I actually…didn’t really know how to love myself. …I had not forgiven myself from the divorce and was using that as an excuse to not find love.” (04:13, A)

Hilary’s Guidance on Self-Compassion

• Hilary normalizes self-forgiveness, calling out how many women beat themselves up.
  • “Most women don't do [self-compassion] very well…we're very good at being hard on ourselves, but not good at having compassion.” (05:40, B)
• Explains the “drop of water on a dry sponge” metaphor for why emotionally starved partners seek attention elsewhere.

3. Program Transformations: Tools & Metaphors

Forgiveness, Confidence, and Unique Identity

• Kimberly credits the Ready For Love course with helping her cultivate self-forgiveness and grace:
  • “People who have affairs are not bad people. …It really taught me…how to build confidence, how to build my own self reassurance that I deserve to ask for what I want, and be my voice.” (06:54, A)

Metaphors with Lasting Impact

• The “marble” visualization resonated powerfully with Kimberly:
  • “Each person is born with this beautiful shaped marble and the things that happen to them chips away a little bit…In the end, you're this beautiful marble that is unique to yourself because of all the experiences you have. …That was so profound for me.” (09:40, A)
• Hilary’s “sunny side up” metaphor also shapes Kimberly’s new relationship skills, emphasizing two distinct identities coming together with communication and mutual respect.

4. Lasting Impact Professionally and Personally

Career Transformation

• Kimberly’s newfound confidence led her to a geographic move, a new job, and eventually starting her own consulting business in precision medicine and oncology.
  • “I decided to start my own consulting business…I am this unique marble and I'm here out for the world to really help other companies.” (16:11 & 20:59, A)

Love, Second Chances, and Attachment Insight

• After moving to Boston, she reconnected with a man she’d previously met under different circumstances; both were “awake” and ready for a serious relationship this time:
  • “We remit in Boston…we just came together. And I'll tell you, like, we're in three and a half years. I mean, it's not perfect. …But it's that communication that really brings us together, keeps that circle around us very, very solid.” (12:24-13:41, A)

Attachment Styles and Relationship Growth

• Kimberly highlights how understanding attachment styles and communication is essential for navigating differences and conflict:
  • “Even though we fight, we have arguments…we're always coming together in a very respectful way to understand each other's perspectives.” (12:43, A)

5. Continuing the Practice: Lifelong Growth

• Kimberly still uses tools from the program, especially Hilary’s journal for setting intentions and staying mindful in all relationships—romantic, professional, and personal.

  • “In fact, I use your journal still to this day. …You really have to do the work, doing the practice…and I still use those tools every day.” (14:35-15:44, A)

• She stresses the importance of forgiveness, not just of self but of family, and the daily practice of the skills learned.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On readiness for transformation:
  Hilary: “You can’t do it until you’re really ready. …If we came across your feed earlier, you either would have ignored us or been mad at me for saying, ‘you’re the problem.’” (03:52, B)

• Kimberly on owning her growth:
  “All the mistakes I’ve made in the past have really helped me learn and grow into the relationship I have now.” (07:44, A)

• On being unique:
  “No one else is this person. I’m the only one that’s gone through these experiences. I am this beautiful marble shape.” (09:53, A)

• Kimberly on relationship health:
  “We are the most completely opposite people, but we kind of come together and bring each other to the middle…That communication really brings us together, keeps that circle around us very, very solid.” (12:45-13:41, A)

• On life after the program:
  “You’ve got nothing to lose and you’ve only to invest in yourself. …Your mind will be so open after this experience—limitless possibilities.” (24:46, A)

• Hilary’s affirmation:
  “You’re definitely a model student, and I’m so excited for you.” (25:18, B)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Finding Hilary & Ready For Love: 01:34–03:09
• Facing the Past & Self-Compassion: 04:13–05:40
• Transformational Program Tools: 06:54–09:40
• Metaphors (“marble”, “sunny side up”): 09:40–11:45
• Meeting her Partner & Healthy Relationships: 11:45–13:41
• Professional Transformation: 16:11–21:56
• Still Practicing & Advice to Listeners: 14:35, 22:42–24:46

Closing Thoughts

This episode delivers a message of hope, emphasizing that true love—romantic and self—is possible when women courageously turn inward, forgive themselves, and commit to lifelong growth. Kimberly’s journey, marked by honesty and self-awareness, stands as inspiration for anyone who has ever questioned their own worthiness after mistakes or loss.

Advice from Kimberly:
“It was the best money ever spent to this day…You’ve got nothing to lose and you’ve only to invest in yourself.” (24:46, A)

Final words from Hilary:
“I feel blessed…Always cheering for you. Always, always, always. And I love you so much.” (25:40, B)

Connect with Kimberly:
Find her on LinkedIn (link in episode notes).

For more on Ready For Love, visit: readyforloveinc.com