325: Thomas Araujo and the Brother-Cousin-Uncle Confusion

Summary

The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler
Episode 325: Thomas Araujo and the Brother-Cousin-Uncle Confusion
Release Date: March 17, 2025

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Introduction

In Episode 325 of The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler, host Ryan Sickler sits down with longtime guest Thomas Araujo to delve into a labyrinthine family saga filled with betrayal, substance abuse, and complex familial relationships. The conversation offers a raw and humorous exploration of the "lowlights" in life, staying true to the podcast's mission to highlight and laugh at life's challenges.

Background: A Troubled Upbringing

Thomas begins by sharing his tumultuous upbringing, highlighting the instability brought about by his stepfather's recurrent incarcerations.

Thomas Araujo (02:44): "Spicoli's life intermixed with doing business stuff."

He paints a vivid picture of growing up with a stepfather who oscillated between being present and absent, primarily due to his off-and-on status in the prison system.

Family Dynamics: The Stepfather's Influence

The conversation shifts to the complexities of Thomas' family dynamics, particularly focusing on his stepfather's behavior and its impact on him.

Thomas Araujo (04:02): "He's super nice guy, but he looks very like with a mustache. He got the little like if Freddie Mercury was American look."

Despite his stepfather's outwardly pleasant demeanor, Thomas recounts the confusion and challenges of living with someone whose appearance belied his tumultuous lifestyle.

The Brother-Cousin-Uncle Saga

At the heart of the episode is a convoluted story involving Thomas' friend, his cousin, and his uncle, which Thomas aptly titles the "Brother-Cousin-Uncle Confusion."

Thomas Araujo (10:02): "I have a friend, right? Since we were kids. He... he has a cousin that married into the family."

Thomas narrates how his friend and his cousin began dating secretly as children, maintaining a relationship that evolved into marriage and the birth of children. The situation spirals downward when the cousin begins cheating on her husband with his own brother, creating a tangled web of deceit and familial betrayal.

Thomas Araujo (14:56): "She's terrible. Like, I already said all that."

The dialogue captures the emotional turmoil and disbelief Thomas feels witnessing such betrayals within his extended family.

Impact on Thomas: Emotional Turmoil and Isolation

The repercussions of this family drama leave Thomas feeling isolated and conflicted, especially as he navigates relationships with his children and extended family.

Thomas Araujo (21:24): "It's so much worse every time you circle and... Oh yeah."

He expresses frustration over the inability to escape the intertwined relationships and the ongoing impact on his immediate family.

Substance Abuse and Intervention

Substance abuse plays a significant role in Thomas' life, particularly concerning his biological father. The conversation delves into the challenges of dealing with a parent battling addiction and the steps taken towards recovery.

Thomas Araujo (50:44): "We had to do an intervention. You did?"

Thomas recounts the intervention that ultimately led to his father's sobriety, highlighting both the struggle and the eventual positive outcome after years of battling addiction.

Other Family Anecdotes: Dysfunction and Resilience

Beyond the central saga, Thomas shares additional family stories that underscore the pervasive dysfunction within his family, including another aunt and uncle's tumultuous relationship.

Thomas Araujo (51:35): "This lady named Tanya... lost the whole business."

These anecdotes serve to illustrate the recurring themes of betrayal and instability that have marked Thomas' family life.

Concluding Thoughts: Reflections and Moving Forward

As the episode draws to a close, Thomas reflects on the chaos of his family life, emphasizing the importance of maintaining drug-free lifestyles and monogamous relationships to prevent further turmoil.

Thomas Araujo (65:07): "Drug free lifestyles. Monogamy. Don't be a... Cheating also."

He underscores the necessity of breaking harmful cycles and striving for healthier familial relationships despite the entrenched dysfunction he has experienced.

Notable Quotes

• Ryan Sickler (00:00): "We could all use an extra bright spot in our day, couldn't we?"
• Thomas Araujo (10:31): "There are no highlights there at all. There's nothing good except it's over."
• Marty (12:27): "Are they married?"
• Thomas Araujo (50:44): "We had to do an intervention. You did?"
• Thomas Araujo (65:07): "Drug free lifestyles. Monogamy. Don't be a... Cheating also."

Conclusion

Episode 325 offers a compelling and heartfelt exploration of Thomas Araujo's intricate family dynamics, marked by betrayal, addiction, and resilience. Through candid storytelling and humor, the episode encapsulates the essence of The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler—finding laughter amidst life's darkest moments. Listeners gain insight into the profound impact of family relationships and the enduring quest for stability and integrity.

Transcript

[Ryan Sickler]

Hello, it is Ryan. And we could all use an extra bright spot in our day, couldn't we? Just to make up for things like sitting in traffic, doing the dishes, counting your steps, you know, all the mundane stuff. That is why I'm such a big fan of Chumba Casino. Chumba Casino has all your favorite social casino style games that you can play for free, anytime, anywhere with daily bonuses. That should brighten your day a little. Actually, a lot. So sign up [e-mail] that's chumbacasino.com no purchase necessary.

[Thomas Larajo]

BGW prohibited by law. Sea terms and conditions 18 Geico's motorcycle expertise means I'm covered by people who know bikes like I do. I'm happy as a clam. No conclusive scientific research has shown clams can experience happiness. I just meant that I feel really.

[Marty]

Good about my coverage.

[Thomas Larajo]

I mean, even if you took the clam out for the best day ever, visiting the zoo, taking a scenic ride, knowing you're insured by specialists, and sharing a strawberry ice cream cone together, the clam would not feel happy and your strawberry cone would taste sort of clammy. Geico's motorcycle specialists who know bikes like you do, assume no liability for clammy ice cream cones. Geico expertise for your motorcycle.

[Marty]

I'm headed back to Zany's in Nashville. Friday, March 28 and Saturday, March 29 Madison, Wisconsin. I'm excited to announce I'm shooting my next special at your club, Comedy on State. I was there not too long ago, had such a great time, such a great club that I'm excited to work with them and bring you my next special. Two shows Saturday, April 12th. Get your tickets [e-mail] the Honeydew with Ryan Sickler welcome back to the Honeydew, y'all. We're over here doing it in the Night Pants studios. I'm Ryan Sickler. You know where to find me. I just want to say thank you. Thank you for supporting anything I do, especially this show. If you love it, drop a comment, help that algorithm out. And if you got to have more than you got to have the Patreon, it is called the Honeydew with y'all. And it is this show with y'all. And I promise you, you're not hearing stories like this anywhere else. It's five bucks a month and we've added a new tier to the Patreon where you get the way back a day early as well. Ad free, no censorship, all that stuff. And also bonus content you're not getting anywhere else. All right, that's the biz. You guys know what we're doing over here? I always say we highlight the lowlights and these are the stories behind the storytellers. I'm very excited to have this guest back on the honeydew. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Thomas Larajo. Yeah, I like the clap. Slow clap.

[Thomas Larajo]

Yeah. He looks sober. Yeah. Thanks for having me, dude.

[Marty]

Thank you for being back. Before we jump into what we're going to talk about, plug anything you'd like, please.

[Thomas Larajo]

Every Tuesday, 12:30, the dope as usual podcast. Check it out. We're on all platforms. It's just Marty and I and we interview some awesome people. And I could say the teacher's not in the room. When it's just me and him, there's no guests. Like when the teacher just steps out for a second, do terrible things. So that's why we're censored a lot. But yeah, come check us out. We have the more stu I could. Oh, it's now in Zoomies now, our clothing company.

[Marty]

Is that right?

[Thomas Larajo]

Yeah, we're Zoomies now.

[Marty]

Yeah, dude, that's a big deal.

[Thomas Larajo]

Yes. I'm really excited. We're doing great. We're doing great. And that's like. That's a new thing. I haven't seen you in a year.

[Marty]

That's great, dude.

[Thomas Larajo]

Yeah, dude. And then the dopest shop, the one we did the photo shoot with, doing insane. I think my number four in the world right now. It's incredible.

[Marty]

That's good for you, dude.

[Thomas Larajo]

Yeah. Do other than that.

[Marty]

Good for you.

[Thomas Larajo]

I just been burnt based. Basically, Spicoli's life intermixed with doing business stuff. And that's my life now.

[Marty]

If you haven't seen Thomas's earlier episodes. Raised by a white man Stepfather.

[Thomas Larajo]

Partially.

[Marty]

Yeah, partially. Who was an off and on inmate. Yes, Mostly. Mostly.

[Thomas Larajo]

Mostly on and back on. Actually back on.

[Marty]

Right.

[Thomas Larajo]

Yeah.

[Marty]

He is white man who in prison. What is. Is Nazi fair. We got.

[Thomas Larajo]

I gotta be honest, man.

[Marty]

All.

[Thomas Larajo]

Yeah, censor that. It's the tattoos that were so confusing. But like. Yeah, white is right all the way down his body, you know, like so very white.

[Marty]

We'll say in prison. Very pro white.

[Thomas Larajo]

He's like Ned Flanders with no shirt.

[Marty]

Yeah.

[Thomas Larajo]

Covered in racial things.

[Marty]

Is that. Is that really what he is? Is his demeanor, like, softer, like you would.

[Thomas Larajo]

He's super nice guy, but he looks very like with a mustache. He got the little like if Freddie Mercury was American look. Like. He just looks like you're A little feminine, but then takes his shirt off, and you're like, we got lightning bolts everywhere and Vikings and Jesus Christ.

[Marty]

I see.

[Thomas Larajo]

He was the man. Other than that, he was very cool, very nice person. And he.

[Marty]

He was a different man outside the penitentiary.

[Thomas Larajo]

Yeah.

[Marty]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Thomas Larajo]

We talked about. I used to go there, and it was very different until he got to us. I'm like, all right, now, that's the guy I know. And then back to stone face.

[Marty]

And you still don't speak Spanish?

[Thomas Larajo]

No, I know some words because of him. He's fluent man. Which is the best part about the whole story, because until I. I said it here, I didn't realize how ridiculous.

[Marty]

It really is insane.

[Thomas Larajo]

No, it really is stupid. It's dumb. If you think about, like, you got the pass. You just got the past. I'm your son.

[Marty]

I also see how useful that would be in something like prison, though, too, no matter what you're wearing. If you could talk to everybody or hear and understand. Yeah.

[Thomas Larajo]

Oh, yeah. We be at the flea market. He would be talking in Spanish to the fools at the flea market. They're like, what the fuck? And so did I. So, yeah, he's. I don't know what's up with him. I don't talk to him anymore. But yeah. Yeah, he kind of raised me a little bit. He tried.

[Marty]

So you got a while past.

[Thomas Larajo]

Yeah. I mean, there's a lot of stuff that happened that I think is funny to me and said it out loud. You're like, that's not normal. Like, I know it's not normal, but it's. It's pretty funny.

[Marty]

That's how we deal with everything. Yeah.

[Thomas Larajo]

Yeah. Because I didn't realize that, like, not everybody gets beat up like children and stuff. You know what I mean?

[Marty]

Not everybody. But when you go through it, you think it's just normal. And then you start telling people, like, what happened to you?

[Thomas Larajo]

You're like, wait, like, anybody outside your. Where you're from. You're like, yeah, both PTA meetings. Your parents went to PTA is incredible. The first time I saw, like, a stable home was kind of made me kind of sad. Like, is this your life? I'm fucking. This sucks.

[Marty]

Was it. What was it? Was it a sleepover?

[Thomas Larajo]

Yes, I went to a sleepover, and I was like, you have a lot of different. You have more than one soda here. This is crazy. I mean.

[Marty]

I mean, like, the same way I'm. I'm watching, like, y'all are getting hugs. You know what I mean?

[Thomas Larajo]

Wait constantly.

[Marty]

Somebody Came in your room and said, I love you.

[Thomas Larajo]

Before they went nuts. Came in like, shut up.

[Marty]

We're trying to beat the up.

[Thomas Larajo]

God. I just remember my mom.

[Marty]

My mom's dropping elbows, man. What are you talking about?

[Thomas Larajo]

Oh, yeah. She said she.

[Marty]

I'm covering up when that door opens up. Exactly.

[Thomas Larajo]

I love you.

[Marty]

And I'm like, what is that?

[Thomas Larajo]

It's a trick. It's dead. You sold me. It's finally happened. She used to tell me, I'm gonna give you away. If you're bad here, I'm gonna have the cops come get you. And you're gonna go to a foster home.

[Marty]

Oh, I have threatened other kids.

[Thomas Larajo]

Oh, I remember. She told me that we're going into a party. Like, when we've ever been bad all the time. They're gonna come take you away.

[Marty]

I was in. This is a. This one's burned in my memory. It's fourth grade. My mom and dad are splitting. My mom had cheated on my dad. But it's. It's an ugly thing. They're finally gonna go separate ways. And my mom's just was. Not. Just was an evil person. And she would say shit like that. We. And we're just little kids. Like, what's going to happen to us? I don't know. You might have to go to a foster home. We're like, what?

[Thomas Larajo]

And mean it.

[Marty]

Oh, man, who knows? Who knows? My dad would have never let that happen. But my mom's using that power. Terror, anger, you know, all this. And then we're just like. The three of us are like, you know, you two are having problems. Why? We got good old Foster. I'm outside. We had a basketball hoop right here. My mom and dad's bedroom windows right here. And I'm in a driveway shooting hoops. Fourth grade with the neighbor across the street. And I'm just talking. I'm just like, yeah, man. My mom just told us we might have to go to a foster home.

[Thomas Larajo]

He's like, what?

[Marty]

And we're both freaking out. And my mom. It's summer, the windows open. My mom hears it, calls me inside. Beat the shit out of me, dude. I was like, you know what?

[Thomas Larajo]

So she beat you? Don't be telling the truth.

[Marty]

That's what she did. Beat me for telling people what she said to us.

[Thomas Larajo]

Like, oh, incredible.

[Marty]

I bet you're not supposed to say this out loud.

[Thomas Larajo]

Mom sounds very. I'm logical. So what happened? That was it.

[Marty]

Oh, no. They split and everything and.

[Thomas Larajo]

No, I know. I'm talking about that day. She just Beat the.

[Marty]

Yeah, go back outside. That was the end of my playing. No, I don't know. I took almost on the. I was on the bench after that, man.

[Thomas Larajo]

I was like, I'm too hurt. Second stringed. There's like two kids playing. Yeah, no, that's. I. I just. I didn't realize, that's all.

[Marty]

Well, you have. You also have a wild upbringing. I. I have your list here.

[Thomas Larajo]

Oh, you're talking about that. That.

[Marty]

Tell me this story right now that's going on.

[Thomas Larajo]

Okay.

[Marty]

In your world.

[Thomas Larajo]

I'm just going to say it because I've been dealing with it. Because it's like a. Almost like a family member, because they're. You know, when you have a friend, you're like, hey, this is your uncle. So. And so if you have kids. I don't have kids. I'm trying to use an example like that. Like, we're. I know his mom and his dad, they know every. We're intermingled as friends, right? Since. For 20 years almost. So I'm just gonna put this lightly. And I know I'm not gonna say any names because it is. If Jerry Springer was alive, he would be dming the out of me. Be like, I need him. I need him on the show now.

[Marty]

I just watched that documentary.

[Thomas Larajo]

I only saw a piece of it. I was on the plane, I saw a piece of it.

[Marty]

That was it. It's fun.

[Thomas Larajo]

Okay, so basically, I have a friend, right? Since we were kids. He. I didn't know, but he has a cousin that married into the family. So they're not related by blood. Let me say that, like eight times. There's no blood relation. We're little kids. We're kind of pure. We haven't even done drugs yet. Like 9 or 10. I haven't done drugs yet, at least, right? And he and his cousin start dating and no one knows. He didn't even tell me. I didn't know. 2.

[Marty]

These are little kids we're talking about.

[Thomas Larajo]

We're 10 years old. @ the time, they were like, oh, new family member. We're married to each other. We. We like each other. But don't tell anybody because we're cousins now. And it's weird, but, like, if you love each other, you love each other. I had no idea. They kept it under wraps. I know this fool every day. No, two of them. Every single day. He never told me. I found out at like 18, 19. It's like, I'm dating this girl. Like, who. Who are you dating, bro? You know, I've never seen you with a girl? Because he was with her but didn't tell anybody. So we just thought he didn't date anybody. Do you see how it works out?

[Marty]

We're like, visually, right? He's always hanging out with his cousin, man.

[Thomas Larajo]

So we don't know. But he's at his family's house, so it just looks like he's at his family's house. Little do you know, he's chilling with his girlfriend, too. But to keep that under wraps from.

[Marty]

10 years old to then, I mean, that's a solid relationship they got.

[Thomas Larajo]

That's what I'm trying to say. That's why I never felt weird, like, dude, you guys really like each other.

[Marty]

They must.

[Thomas Larajo]

They must. Because we always thought, how come now I think about you guys? Never dated anybody in high school, but you did. Now that we know. So Anyway, at like 18, 19, everybody finds out and their family's all pissed off. So I get it.

[Marty]

They kept it from their family too.

[Thomas Larajo]

Nobody knew.

[Marty]

Under the same roof.

[Thomas Larajo]

Well, they don't live live together. They're cousins.

[Marty]

But okay, just coming over.

[Thomas Larajo]

They're coming over. Oh, hang out like, oh, hey. So to me, I'm like, you guys really like each other if you're willing to hide this for this long. So what, 10 years goes by, they're still together. They're married now they have kids. Like, the family is completely like, well, you guys are together now, so they have kids. My friend has kids. I've seen these kids all the time. And then about a year ago, we find out that his started cheating on him, which is like, come on, man, since 10. And now you're cheap. This is it. We're so intertwined. If you get divorced, you're still seeing each other at Christmas.

[Marty]

Are they married?

[Thomas Larajo]

Yeah, yeah. They're related too. So it's like this. This goes back.

[Marty]

This is Jerry.

[Thomas Larajo]

It's forever. That's not the worst part. We come to find out she's cheating on my friend with my friend's little brother.

[Marty]

Wait, she's cheating on her, which is.

[Thomas Larajo]

Her own cousin too. Okay, right.

[Marty]

Hold on.

[Thomas Larajo]

So now we're making the joke. Okay, sorry, sorry. Go, go.

[Marty]

The girl, female cousin, married to male cousin, which is my blood related to your buddy, which is.

[Thomas Larajo]

I just knew her as my friend's cousin.

[Marty]

Right. Of course, we're kids. But now it's his wife. Before this, they have children.

[Thomas Larajo]

Two kids. So it's very like, oh, wow, you guys are dedicated.

[Marty]

Then the female cousin starts. Starts cheating on male on my friend. Also her husband so when I father children. With who? His little brother. Get the.

[Thomas Larajo]

With his little brother.

[Marty]

That's hard to follow.

[Thomas Larajo]

Keeping it in the family. To the man.

[Marty]

So wait, man.

[Thomas Larajo]

She just needs those jeans, I guess, dude. Because she's like, the kids now.

[Marty]

Go. From my stepdad. Whoa, dude.

[Thomas Larajo]

Which is also. And my cousin. It's so stupid. It's bad. It's really bad.

[Marty]

How did it get exposed? Because that's all. So first of all, they're keeping this quiet.

[Thomas Larajo]

He thought something was going on. Oh, if she's keeping it quiet before, she's really, like, doubling down.

[Marty]

Yeah.

[Thomas Larajo]

Hey, other cousin, do you want to start?

[Marty]

Brother.

[Thomas Larajo]

Not even his little brother, which is the craziest part. He's just like the little kid when we were. You know what I mean? He's like four years younger than we were. So he's like, oh, your little brother. We're out of high school. You're. You're barely starting high school. So we didn't hang out all the time, and now we're like, What? He's like, 34, and now this is. It's all happened, like, a year ago, and I've been just dealing with little things, and. And then they break up and get back together. So I have to be like, what?

[Marty]

They got back together? That's two people in the same family that betrayed you. I could never. Two people.

[Thomas Larajo]

The patience this fool has is insane.

[Marty]

I don't know if it's patience.

[Thomas Larajo]

It's.

[Marty]

It's got.

[Thomas Larajo]

Patience, got kids. But.

[Marty]

But, man.

[Thomas Larajo]

But I already said.

[Marty]

You're right.

[Thomas Larajo]

I said all the stuff when he told me.

[Marty]

So, like, forget about it.

[Thomas Larajo]

She's terrible. Like, I already said all that. Yeah. So now it's like, oh, you're back. You're gonna work it out. Okay. She's great. And then again, he's like, no, something's going on again. And put a little hidden camera. He's like, something's going on. He put a little camera in the back of their. In their daughter's seat. Car seat. So she's like, something's going on. And he put a camera in there, and she went and picked up his little brother the whole day, and they're hanging out and kissing, going on a date and all this stuff while he was at work. So he gets it. Loses his mind. They end up having a brotherly fight to the death. Damn near. My friend wins, and then everything's back to normal and they're back together again.

[Marty]

Nah.

[Thomas Larajo]

So you just pick whoever beats up each other. Like, whoever wins this fight I'll take. I'll take the brother. Whoever fights best is basically how that went down. So I'm sitting here just going, I can hate her, right? I'm allowed to hate her, right? I don't like her at all. I hate this woman now. It's. And it's like, I've grown up with you too, so it's. It's so touchy and weird.

[Marty]

You grew up all three of them, all three involved.

[Thomas Larajo]

And I was hanging out with him all the time, so it's not like I wasn't going over there too. But for none of us to go, hey, we look at each other like nobody. Nothing.

[Marty]

But the deception to. To. And also the dice role to. To be like, who are the younger brother and her? Who's making that first fucking move? Because that's not a stranger.

[Thomas Larajo]

Well, the little brother had a little crush on her. It felt like growing up or something.

[Marty]

He definitely did, right?

[Thomas Larajo]

He had to him, man. Or he knew and was secretly like.

[Marty]

But, like, who rolls the dice and reaches out first? And then someone's like, I'm gonna butcher this. But I get it. We love Nick Swartz in here. And it's a joke. Something like. And again, I'm gonna fuck it up. But it was something like, before the Internet and stuff, when if you were a freak, you know, how did you find out other people were freaky, you know? And he. And it was something like, it. I'm gonna make something up. But the premise is like, you know, like, you're like, man, why don't we just go eat some together? I'm just kidding, man. Unless you are. You know what I mean? Hey, you want to. On my face? Like, oh, no, I don't want to do it. I'm just kidding.

[Thomas Larajo]

I drink piss.

[Marty]

Unless you are. You know, that kind of thing.

[Thomas Larajo]

You're like, okay, I haven't asked, but I would love to ask, like, yo, what was it like going, oh, this is. She went for it, or he went for it is probably scarier than just streaking through a stadium. Yes. To reach. Everything's on the line.

[Marty]

To your husband's brother, the uncle, to your children. Or you reach out to your brother's wife, the mother of your niece and nephew. Like, it's. And your cousin and your cousin. I forgot that if you remember that of it, she rejects you.

[Thomas Larajo]

Now, my uncles hate me and my aunts and my other cousins because I'm a creep.

[Marty]

So. But everyone knows this now, so what the hell's. How. How's the family even dealing with this.

[Thomas Larajo]

I feel like they're just rolling the dice and seeing how every day is going. I'm just in the outside going, hey, man, how's it going?

[Marty]

Like, and we sure she's just keeping it in the family? Because it seems like if somebody would do that, that close to home, literally and that low, they'd be doing whatever.

[Thomas Larajo]

They got me questioning everything.

[Marty]

Yeah.

[Thomas Larajo]

And the kids, like, the secretive stuff too, is wild. And now it's got me the question, like, yo, they have a little. A smaller brother than that. He's going to watch out for this lady because she's going through the whole line of brothers. It seems like, oh, there's even a. There's a younger brother now. The joke's like, hey, you better be careful. Watch out for her at Christmas. Make sure you stay visible because she's trying to get it. Dude, I don't understand. And it's okay. I. I know he's not gonna be like, why'd you talk about it? Because at this point he's like, I'm mad. I talked about it a little on the show. Just because it was so. Because, you know, you do a show and sometimes like, this is exactly what's happening and what I'm dealing with right now. And it sucks. And sometimes you just have to talk about it because I've been dealing with this for like almost two years.

[Marty]

It feels like there's a. Hello.

[Ryan Sickler]

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[Thomas Larajo]

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[Marty]

18/Block on like also you as a man to have to feel like, man, I brought this person. Well, no, you know what? No, you didn't bring her in. She was a cousin.

[Thomas Larajo]

She was already at Christmas.

[Marty]

I keep forgetting that.

[Thomas Larajo]

That's the worst part.

[Marty]

It's not someone you brought in. She was in.

[Thomas Larajo]

She was already there.

[Marty]

Dude, turnkey.

[Thomas Larajo]

It feels like the standards are just very low. Like, are you related to me? I can't do it. Then never Mind, you're not really. I need you. I need you to be here always. It's basically, what, for better or for worse, I need you to help. Because at this point, if it goes bad, which it already has gone bad, it definitely. You have to wait a generation for this to be like, not awkward at this point.

[Marty]

What about the parents of both the boys?

[Thomas Larajo]

I haven't talked to them.

[Marty]

Have they talked to their kids? Have they said, what the fuck are you doing? To fight it out? That's.

[Thomas Larajo]

That's, you know, the most Matt Brown Mexican third world shit I ever heard in my life. Dude. Yo, fight it out.

[Marty]

Fight it out.

[Thomas Larajo]

No, I'm kidding. They just said like, oh, you guys need to deal with this and fight it out. And that's when they fought it out.

[Marty]

And they fought it out. They did.

[Thomas Larajo]

And the craziest things are like, you.

[Marty]

Kids just watch you beat up their unc. Like, it's a lot going on.

[Thomas Larajo]

Stepdad. Possible.

[Marty]

Yeah.

[Thomas Larajo]

Oh, my God. And the thing is, my friend.

[Marty]

Holy.

[Thomas Larajo]

He moved out of the house at the house that he pays for. And like his brother goes over there.

[Marty]

No. Still?

[Thomas Larajo]

Yeah.

[Marty]

No.

[Thomas Larajo]

It's like you're paying for a place for this guy to stay too.

[Marty]

Not just stay. He's clearly your wife.

[Thomas Larajo]

Not even that. He's over that. He's over that. They moved out. They're done recently. They're just like the past two months. Like, you know what? This is not going to work.

[Marty]

The marriage is done.

[Thomas Larajo]

Yes. So he's trying to get away.

[Marty]

She stayed in the house.

[Thomas Larajo]

He still pays for the spot. And when they were broken up, he got a new spot. It's like he's over there every day. You're paying for this guy to stay.

[Marty]

At your house now that's hurt my head. Not even my heart. It's hurting my head. That will fuck me up. That'd be. That's dark and deep, dude. Your own crazy to do to your own brother.

[Thomas Larajo]

There you go.

[Marty]

You took the non blood cousin over your blood brother. And your kid and your niece and nephew are blood, bro. They're your blood.

[Thomas Larajo]

It's so much worse every time you circle and. Oh yeah. And then you add another layer.

[Marty]

You start putting that plus sign on this thing. It is. It's a problem. There's a Max's.

[Thomas Larajo]

And I can only imagine if something happened where she had a baby with the other brother because now it's. Oh my God, what is going to happen? That's my cousin, my brother, my step.

[Marty]

What is that?

[Thomas Larajo]

Also, that's my uncle, my dad, my stepdad, my cousin. Like, oh, God, I'm just gonna give up. I just give up because it's too hard to keep up with.

[Marty]

I don't even understand how you could show your face around anyone.

[Thomas Larajo]

Oh, she's fine with it.

[Marty]

She is. Kirsten, laugh.

[Thomas Larajo]

That's the worst part.

[Marty]

All right.

[Thomas Larajo]

I had to recently go on Facebook and just go block. I can't see you.

[Marty]

How are you fine with it?

[Thomas Larajo]

I know. I just got Facebook recently. Went, oh, this is what you guys do on Facebook? Just updates about. I'm cooking this. All the people I went to high school with. Like, you guys are. Is updating cooked chicken cacciatores. Dude, nobody cares. So I had to go on Facebook, and now I see all them po. And I see all their family. I'm like, oh, I gotta start blocking people.

[Marty]

And it's all just this intertwined spiderweb of family.

[Thomas Larajo]

And it's been a long time since I've known them. Yeah, I was the same age as him. Like, I know these people well, too. And I gotta go, hey, I don't like you anymore. What?

[Marty]

You do? Have you seen them since they. Separately? Yeah.

[Thomas Larajo]

Yeah.

[Marty]

You saw her separately too. How did. How does that.

[Thomas Larajo]

Saw those kids.

[Marty]

How did that go?

[Thomas Larajo]

Oh, I just pretend nothing happened. Oh, hey, how you doing? Oh, yeah, for sure. And I just left.

[Marty]

We don't know you're your uncle.

[Thomas Larajo]

Cousin. I don't know. I just kind of just try to like to not be mean. I'm just trying my best to not be mean.

[Marty]

That is. That's very nice. Yeah, that's. That one's a wild one.

[Thomas Larajo]

It's not even hot in here. And I'm sorry. Sweaty. Just thinking about being in the situation. But, yeah, that's.

[Marty]

That's.

[Thomas Larajo]

That's new. That's what's been going on lately. And that has nothing to do with me, which is insane. The first thing ever that doesn't have anything. I don't. I'm just looking at.

[Marty]

So, like, I don't even know. Just. I'm trying to put myself in your shoes. Like, I don't have any hindsight on that. I don't have any advice to give you on that. Obviously, is get the out. But you can't. You're intertwined because you now have children in there, and that's your brother. This is not a. Hey, you know what? You cheated. We're divorced. I'm gonna go live my life here.

[Thomas Larajo]

I'll see you later. Nothing. Every. Every holiday you. You I'll see you, Chris.

[Marty]

You. I'll see y'all at the Christmas. Come on, get out of here.

[Thomas Larajo]

Four times a year, at least they gotta see each other.

[Marty]

All those baptisms and, man, y'all seeing that. The baptism. We're out, man. Say, that is sucks.

[Thomas Larajo]

It sucks every holiday. Oh, I've. We've talked about this for hours before.

[Marty]

Oh, man.

[Thomas Larajo]

Can't do it.

[Marty]

How can you even get pumped to go over there? You know what I mean? For a holiday?

[Thomas Larajo]

Just staring at each other.

[Marty]

You know what you're going into every time? And you don't even have your brother to vent to. To be like, man, this.

[Thomas Larajo]

Can you believe what you're doing to me, man? What the.

[Marty]

Yeah.

[Thomas Larajo]

God, I hate you and I love you.

[Marty]

That's my chair, man. God damn. For real?

[Thomas Larajo]

It's weird. You like the house? I pay for for you. For you. Oh, and the little brother doesn't have a job, which is the craziest part about all this.

[Marty]

Is he a single man? Does he have kids as well?

[Thomas Larajo]

No. No kids.

[Marty]

He has no job. I mean, that's also. You're really talking about a type of person that sounds like they don't want to do anything and lives at home. No job. I' take my brother's wife.

[Thomas Larajo]

And not even that. When they moved out. I've read they live. They live next door to each other.

[Marty]

What do you mean?

[Thomas Larajo]

Their parents live, like, not even half a block, not even one house. Two houses over from where they decided.

[Marty]

To live with their children, where they.

[Thomas Larajo]

Fought it out and so where his little brother lives at home. They live next door to each other.

[Marty]

Wait, his little brother's 35 and lives at home.

[Thomas Larajo]

He's five. Four years younger than us, so 31.

[Marty]

Okay, 31. Lives at home, two doors away from the house he now walks over to to his brother's wife. Get out of here, Dud. That's crazy.

[Thomas Larajo]

It's even worse.

[Marty]

And even if it falls apart, he's like, whatever. I'm just gonna go two houses.

[Thomas Larajo]

I'll hop one fence. And he comes home.

[Marty]

Dude.

[Thomas Larajo]

And that's all I have to really do.

[Marty]

Wild story right now.

[Thomas Larajo]

It's. There's layers. It just keep. It's.

[Marty]

It just keeps getting. As soon as you peel the onion, it just more and more in there.

[Thomas Larajo]

You just have to stop listening at a point where you're like, you know what? How about this? Just leave. Pretend this didn't happen.

[Marty]

Are these the only two siblings from these parents?

[Thomas Larajo]

Like, there's a lot that's why that's so. It's like, at least. At least it's okay because you have more help, I guess. But. Wow.

[Marty]

But is that family turned on the younger brother too?

[Thomas Larajo]

At first, no. At first they did.

[Marty]

Oh, they fight. What was.

[Thomas Larajo]

Because at first he was denying it. He's like, look at the videotape of him with her. And they're like, fight it out. But he still lives there, so it's so awkward. It is the brownest, most white trash I've ever seen my life. Right? These are all the cor. Like, all the recipes.

[Marty]

Dude, no doubt. This is trailer trash, white trash, inbred, but with Mexicans. Yep. 100%. Wow.

[Thomas Larajo]

Shocking it.

[Marty]

That is a wild story.

[Thomas Larajo]

Yeah, it's. It's over now. That's why I'm like, you know, let's talk about it. Because this is too good. It's insane.

[Marty]

And those poor kids.

[Thomas Larajo]

They're. They're young enough to. They don't have. Can't even really speak.

[Marty]

Are they okay?

[Thomas Larajo]

Yeah, they can talk, but they can't really talk. So just like.

[Marty]

Well, if those aren't talking in a couple more years, I think we know we them up.

[Thomas Larajo]

Oh, I can imagine they need to knock it off before they're like, competent and go. I'm confused. Is this my. Oh, yeah, we talked about it too much. No, I'm saying like, it's cousin uncle.

[Marty]

I'm thinking like, too, like, I'm the. I'm. I'm the guy, your friend who was cheated on, I mean, by his wife and his brother. I don't know that I trust anyone again after that. I'm not coming to any family events and stuff. Like, as a. That's when. When you know, they're like, be the bigger person and take. Listen, sometimes I don't want to take the high road. I don't want to take it. Sometimes I want to take that low road down here and just trudge along that way sometimes too.

[Thomas Larajo]

Like, I would be honest.

[Marty]

Every right to if that happens to you.

[Thomas Larajo]

You need new tires. Not going to cut. I'm just gonna let the air out every day. Because you live next door to me. So a little bit every day, makeup up. I'm do a bunch of stupid shit to her, which she doesn't know it's me. Always take the batteries out of shit when I leave. Oh, I would be a menace to her. Like a ghost. I'd be like a ghost terrorizing her and him every single day.

[Marty]

So where. How far away now does your friend live? From that. Oh, he crushed down. Okay. But does he still see the kids and stuff? Yeah, she's not doing. So wait, when she's unavailable, Uncle Roberto is watching the kids. Is that Is my brother's watching my kids?

[Thomas Larajo]

I don't know, man.

[Marty]

I didn't even know, man. I would be so pissed.

[Thomas Larajo]

Well, even if he lives in the.

[Marty]

House with the parents away from me, though. No, what I'm saying is a dad. If my kids are with their mom.

[Thomas Larajo]

Oh. And she's at work.

[Marty]

And she's at work. And the dad. And the dude has to watch my kids. The dude's your brother. The dude your brother. And he's getting the quality time that you don't get, man. That.

[Thomas Larajo]

And you just do this over this fence. Go. What are you guys doing? Yeah, I can hear. I can hear my kids, dude. Every day, Jason, I can hear for three days a week, I can hear him, but I can't see them.

[Marty]

I don't get to play with them or hug them.

[Thomas Larajo]

It's really terrible.

[Marty]

That is a spider web of right there.

[Thomas Larajo]

It's just. I hope that's. Oh, I hope it's. Oh, man, that's it. Because I can't. I can't deal with anymore.

[Marty]

That ain't gonna be it, dude. There's no way she's cheating on that younger brother, too. I don't know.

[Thomas Larajo]

You know what?

[Marty]

I don't know who.

[Thomas Larajo]

I don't doubt it. I do not doubt that at all.

[Marty]

And if it's in house, that's going to be even crazy.

[Thomas Larajo]

If it's in house.

[Marty]

If it's in house, the rest are.

[Thomas Larajo]

All married, so it's going to get even.

[Marty]

Oh, man.

[Thomas Larajo]

Crazier.

[Marty]

So, so far, she's only in house.

[Thomas Larajo]

I'm dating in the family only. This is the white trash. This is. This is the basic formula of white trash. This is how Jerry Springer got an idea. Like, you know what would be fun? This every day.

[Marty]

So the only marriage, and I don't mean to say that lightly, that she's ruined so far is just hers. The younger brother was not involved with anyone or.

[Thomas Larajo]

No, no.

[Marty]

We.

[Thomas Larajo]

Man, we thought he was gay since we were growing up.

[Marty]

Oh, no, we really did. I got mad about that.

[Thomas Larajo]

We. We never said it. Pretty. I. We. I made a bet with him. Like, your little brother's gay dude. When I was like 18. My watch. By the time he's 18, he's gonna come. And he never did. He never did.

[Marty]

How wrong are you?

[Thomas Larajo]

I remember making fun of it. Like, he's gay, dude. I know.

[Marty]

He is not.

[Thomas Larajo]

Nothing's wrong with that, man. But I'm calling it like I know it. My sister's gay. I have hella gay cousins. I could see it. He's starting young. I could see it on him. Turns out. No, not at all.

[Marty]

Not at all.

[Thomas Larajo]

Not even a little bit. It's a schemer. A schemer more than anything.

[Marty]

So he gets his ass beat and then still goes back. Yeah, that's just. Yeah, all kinds of disgraceful.

[Thomas Larajo]

It's like the worst parts of every movie all the time.

[Marty]

Two lions go at it, and the loser's still going over, and the ladies taking them back. No. No female lion would ever take that.

[Thomas Larajo]

Something's on something. There's drugs involved. There's something where it's like, yo, I have blackmail on you. Remember that? You like drugs, and I have drugs. Something's going on now.

[Marty]

I'm wondering if. If both those kids are really his. I know, because if it's one of them's his brother.

[Thomas Larajo]

I know, because they would look alike.

[Marty]

It's in the bloodline. All that would test out, wouldn't it? Oh, man.

[Thomas Larajo]

Yeah. I thought about this. We talked about this a lot too. Like, yo, you look like you, but so does your brother.

[Marty]

Yeah. I'm getting tests everywhere.

[Thomas Larajo]

It's really sad. Actually. We talked about it before. It's like, no, they both look identical to you. But I don't know what's the worst blue. He's just living his life, gonna keep working and doing his job and being.

[Marty]

A dad, going day by day, just.

[Thomas Larajo]

Moving along, which is great. Which is the best thing he could do.

[Marty]

I mean, it's kind of the only thing I'd be in prison. I think I. I'm over here thinking I would not just be like, well, I'm gonna get up and do no hell, though. I'm raining hell down on that.

[Thomas Larajo]

What do they call it when they drag people on the cars with the ropes?

[Marty]

Yeah, I'm going over my mom and dad's and getting a meal. I'm g. Go over. Go to his room, and I'm going. Go back over, have another meal.

[Thomas Larajo]

Yeah. No, I couldn't take that. There's. There's a level of. I don't even know what to call that level. You know, when they plead by guilty by insanity or. I think that qualifies.

[Marty]

That's. Yeah, I do feel like he's going to prison, but I feel like it would be a softer sentence if you're. It's your brother. And your wife, like, that's just betrayal on so many levels. Your cousin, forget about that part. That's. That's what you're in court going. And your cousin like, thank you. And my cousin, man, all bad, dude.

[Thomas Larajo]

It's not fun. But yeah, I forget, yeah, highlight the low lights. There's no highlights there at all. There's nothing. There's nothing good except it's over and that's it, man. You can't even. You can't even joke about it. Like, there's no joke about it at all. We haven't said one joke except the obvious. There's nothing you can say that's good, dude. He doesn't have to pay, I guess, alimony, right?

[Marty]

Man, if he's got to give her money that his brother gets to have too. That's what that would make somebody kill somebody. I don't understand something that would make a human being snap. I'm not justifying it in any way, nor do I condone it in any way.

[Thomas Larajo]

I get it.

[Marty]

I would. If that happened and all that. I would.

[Thomas Larajo]

If this is a movie, everybody be like, all right, yeah, we get why you did it.

[Marty]

Then you know who suffers again the most? The kids. Because now that's all prison. And those two are dead.

[Thomas Larajo]

And they got no uncle.

[Marty]

You don't have any uncles or cousins. Three people, the whole family. Every title in the family.

[Thomas Larajo]

Their luck, they go to the same prison. Oh, wait, no, he'd be dead. Never mind.

[Marty]

I just thought, it's just dad in prison. He's killing those two. I worked at UPS. Shout out to UPS Baltimore Hub Primary 1 Joe Avenue. I worked.

[Thomas Larajo]

I'll tell you, I know you always say the address with it too.

[Marty]

I worked there. And a guy, I don't remember the full story, but he worked as he had. He was hired by the state because he had served 18 years on a 20 year life sentence from. For. And I can't remember which one he shot. He came home and found his best friend and wife in. In their bed in his home and he shot them. Killed them both. No, he killed the guy. I think he tried to kill both. The guy died, the lady didn't. He went Prison for 20 years and back then, temporary insanity and all that. Crime of passion didn't even exist. Oh yeah, it wasn't even a thing that, that they had brought yet. This is like from, I don't know, the 70s maybe, and. Or crime of passion is what I think it was. And so he served 18 of the 20 and he got. He Got hired by the state to. It was a massive building. It was a hub. And it had a cafeteria with like 30 vending machines. But, I mean, these vending machines were carousels with cake.

[Thomas Larajo]

Cool.

[Marty]

And cheese steaks and all.

[Thomas Larajo]

And he.

[Marty]

His job was to stock all of it for the whole building all day and night.

[Thomas Larajo]

That was fat.

[Marty]

But that's what he did. And I would sit and talk to him all the time. Like, what happened? He's like, I came home, my best friend. So, I mean, you got to go do some time.

[Thomas Larajo]

I like that you brought you ups, but by the way, where's the guy.

[Marty]

You got to go do? He did. He shot. He did that crime of passion shit. He. He did it.

[Thomas Larajo]

Oh, man. Every day. And they're going, she didn't die. Just pissed in prison knowing that she lived through it.

[Marty]

Or you're doing two. Two sentences for each person instead of just the one.

[Thomas Larajo]

Yeah, I guess. At least he got to shoot it.

[Marty]

You got 18 out of 20. He did. He got to shoot two people. He got to.

[Thomas Larajo]

Oh, man.

[Marty]

Then you're like, his name was Pat.

[Thomas Larajo]

Pat. What's his Social Security number? Jesus, Pat. He's from Baltimore.

[Marty]

He was great dude.

[Thomas Larajo]

He works for the city.

[Marty]

This dude knew everybody's dirt. And he talked to you and like, wow, that's crazy, man.

[Thomas Larajo]

You're.

[Marty]

You're cousin, uncle, all that's going on. And then somebody walked by like, what's up, Larry? His wife's cheating on him right now. He do everything.

[Thomas Larajo]

What did he do in prison?

[Marty]

He ran. Ran numbers for us. He did all our fantasy football for us.

[Thomas Larajo]

He's doing the same.

[Marty]

He was doing the same off the books.

[Thomas Larajo]

But he was just out of prison. Yeah, just out of criminal, dude.

[Marty]

Just gossiping and gambling, gossiping and gambling and filling up the vending machines, bro. And he knew everybody's business. I'd play my numbers with him every night. I'd go get my football bets with him, and I'd do all that. And he was professional. He had. He had little pieces of paper so he could circle them.

[Thomas Larajo]

They're this big.

[Marty]

Huh?

[Thomas Larajo]

Oh, my.

[Marty]

Everybody. This dude would do the lotto or lottery, the daily lottery, and he would use the numbers on the tv, but if you gave them the money, they would just cash you out at 100%, not take the cut the state does. You see what I'm saying? We're playing the same game. You're just giving me your money.

[Thomas Larajo]

Have you ever had one of these guys not pay you?

[Marty]

No.

[Thomas Larajo]

Oh, okay.

[Marty]

No, but I'LL tell you why. The odds are in their favor. Every night, almost every night, no one's winning to the casino, right? Yeah, we're everyone in that building from the top supervisors down are playing that lottery number. And almost every night of the week, no one's winning. And then every now and then, you'll win 2500. That's nothing. They already made 40,000 off it, you.

[Thomas Larajo]

Know what I mean?

[Marty]

Like killing it. Coming in with football, everything. Dude, we all played. And then he would leave around, I don't know, about 8:00, 9:00 at night. And I'm. I'm in there still two or three in the morning. It'll just be a napkin right here at the edge of this table, just like this right there. And it would just have the 3, the daily 3 digit and the daily 4. And you would just walk by at night, look at it like, I won. And then the next morning, you go see Pat and he give you your money and he. There was never a problem.

[Thomas Larajo]

This sounds incredible. I would want to go to work.

[Marty]

He was fun to sit and talk to. Dude, how'd you kill.

[Thomas Larajo]

How'd you kill him?

[Marty]

Tell me about all the old prison stories. Baltimore prison, that was it. And he was an older dude.

[Thomas Larajo]

You.

[Marty]

This guy shuffled a little bit. You're like, he did not kill. Kill one, almost two.

[Thomas Larajo]

Dude, Baltimore prison just sounds cold.

[Marty]

All prisons sound cold, man.

[Thomas Larajo]

Over here we got some sun. I'm saying over there it's even worse. Cold metal. You ever smack your dude?

[Marty]

We used to go by because maximum security is right off 83 the Jones Falls espresso. You can see it, and you can see their little slit window. And we all go by like prisoners throwing Jolly ranchers when you go by and. Yeah, and they're yelling at you. The Honeydew is sponsored by better help. Traditional in person therapy can cost anywhere from 100 bucks to 250 bucks per session, which adds up fast. But with better help. Online therapy, you can save on average up to 50% per session with better help. You pay a flat fee for weekly sessions, saving you big on cost and time. Therapy should feel accessible, not like a luxury. Your mental health is worth it, and now it's within reach. You know, I'm a big believer in therapy here. I believe that, you know, we're all out there working our muscles. We should be working our minds, our emotions, all of it. Therapy is a great place to start. If you've even been thinking about, like, maybe I should try. You should definitely give Therapy a try. It's worth it all right. With over 30,000 therapists, BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform, having served over 5 million people globally. And it's convenient. You can join a session with the click of a button, helping you fit therapy in your busy life. Plus, you could switch therapists at any time. Your well being is worth it. Visit betterhelp.comHoneydew to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp. H-E-L-P.comHoneydew. you know what time it is. It's time for a fresh approach to dog food. And that's where the farmer's dog comes in. Developed by board certified nutritionist, the farmer's dog is human grade dog food that's made with real meat and veggies and gently cooked to preserve nutrients. They take the guesswork out of serving sizes by precisely portioning your dog's food based on their unique nutritional needs. Plus, the farmer's dog delivers right to your door, automatically sending you new food as soon as you're running low. And they have 24, 7 customer support with real people. Because sometimes you have a burning question about your dog's food at 2am Farmer's dog has been a great sponsor. This is my dog here, Princess Lily Rose and she love it. Look at her, she's tearing it up. So what I love about farmer's dog, again, it's healthy, it's good. She likes the chicken, the turkey, the beef, they've the three she's had. And gentle on her stomach. She really enjoys it and it comes with her name on it. It's all personalized. It's super cute. It's really well done and it's great for your dog. So give it a try. Get 50% off your first box of fresh healthy food at the farmer's dog.com honeydew. Plus you get free shipping. Just go to farmersdog.com honeydew to get 50% off. That's the farmersdog.com honeydew. Now let's get back to the do. Okay, so I want to ask you, you're. Are you in touch with your biological father? Is he alive?

[Thomas Larajo]

Yeah. You are?

[Marty]

Okay.

[Thomas Larajo]

Oh yeah.

[Marty]

So the stepdad was just someone your mom brought in, not because your dad wasn't around, just because they weren't together.

[Thomas Larajo]

Oh yeah. So my mom and dad, dad broke up when I was like little.

[Marty]

Right. Okay.

[Thomas Larajo]

So my mom got with that my, my stepdad when I was like nah, 1010 to like 16 okay, 10 to 15 maybe, or like 9 to 15.

[Marty]

So.

[Thomas Larajo]

Yeah, no, my dad. My dad's always around. He's. My dad is awesome, dude. My dad's super. Imagine just me that just likes hard drugs. Nice guy.

[Marty]

Oh, he likes super cool.

[Thomas Larajo]

He's mad offensive. So, like, I am nervous. I haven't had him on the show. Like, I am nervous.

[Marty]

Oh, really?

[Thomas Larajo]

He says some that. I apologize. I apologize for him all the time. All the time.

[Marty]

Like, he says, like in public. Have you ever had to do that in public, like as a kid?

[Thomas Larajo]

All the time.

[Marty]

Like what? Give me an example.

[Thomas Larajo]

Maybe the restaurant, Chevy's.

[Marty]

Yeah, I love. All right, so they make their own.

[Thomas Larajo]

Yeah, they make everything.

[Marty]

Right.

[Thomas Larajo]

We had one in my town. Yeah, the little press.

[Marty]

I love it.

[Thomas Larajo]

So we're sitting there and there's. And our waitress. My dad's like. My dad was like in Mario Lopez's shape when he was young. He was like kind of good looking dude. Like he was in shape. And then, you know, I get it. He's a younger guy. He doesn't have a girlfriend. You know, he drives a truck. He probably makes a lot of money. He's a diesel driver, mechanic. He's got two kids he doesn't have to take care of. Basically, she's like, I have money. I don't pay child support. He's a. So we're at the restaurant, you know, with my uncle Mario. They're both young, he's all working out. And this. Our waitress comes up. She's a pretty white. Like a young white blonde girl. I'm about seven. I'm like, no, what are you going to do? I know something's going to happen. I'm going to have to say sorry. Something. I know it. And you know, we're ordering chips and salsa. I'm like, all right. My dad says something in Spanish to my uncle. I'm like, what the fuck? You say something slick. I know it is. Then she comes back. Can I get you anything to drink? And my dad's like, oh, yeah, how about a blowjob?

[Marty]

You remember this?

[Thomas Larajo]

And I know that's a bad. I know that's bad. I've heard it in movies before. I just know that. It's like. Like, I know that's sex. I'm a kid. I'm like, that's sex. So how about a blowjob? Looks right at her, right in her eyes. She goes, what? What? And he goes, a blow job? And she goes, looks at us like your kid. What? Not like. She was like, ew, she was almost like, your kids are here. I swear. She was like more of a.

[Marty]

Like she was down.

[Thomas Larajo]

She wasn't super offended. Right. You know what I mean? And my Uncle Mario's like, laughing. You said it like they're kids. My. My dad had me at 19, so he's a child, right? He's only 25 at this time, so still a grown ass man. Enough to not know to say that. She goes, what? And she says it like that. And he goes, the drink, do you have it on the menu? She goes, oh, no, no, we don't have drinks like that. He goes, oh, I'm sorry. I was just. It's a drink always get. No, I think just water. He walks away and they start dying laughing. My sister's two years older than me. She's pissed. I could see that. She's upset because, like, once again, I have to do this shit every time I'm in public. Even I got older because I have little brothers and my dad doesn't parent them. And they be, you know, those Mexican kids that are just loud and jumping on the. On the table. Yeah, that's my brother.

[Marty]

I do know that. Behind me at CPK on my neck and shit. Yeah, I know that.

[Thomas Larajo]

I can't do it. I was like, just Paul right there, huh? Oh, you guys good?

[Marty]

Are you guys good? Oh, got a crayon out my shirt.

[Thomas Larajo]

But, you know, like, I'm the one embarrassed. And I'm looking at my dad like, dad, tell him something. Hey, get down. I have to apologize to tables constantly. We used to go out like, I'm sorry, sit down. And I'm just, you're parenting, dad, pay attention. But he's like, oh, it's fine. They're kids. Like, no, but tell him to shut up anyway. Oh, I got one for you real quick. I just went to the movies with my dad for the first time since scary movie 2.

[Marty]

What fucking year is that? Is that the 90s?

[Thomas Larajo]

There's like 2003 before 8th grade maybe. Okay, that's the last time I went to the movies with my dad. All right, So I don't know him. I'm an adult now. I get it. I'm 35 now. I'm not a little boy. I get it. I might look like a kid, but I'm an adult. I went to the movies recently. My older sister, I know, she's. She's. She just talks so loud at movies that it's embarrassing. You know when he was like, yo, who is that? That's my sister. I found out two years ago. That's her. I didn't. I didn't know that. So I'm like, going to the.

[Marty]

But is she just having a regular conversation or is she yelling?

[Thomas Larajo]

No, she's talking to us. Full volume, though. Hey, you know what? She was in.

[Marty]

Are you stupid? Was in.

[Thomas Larajo]

And she goes, it's. It's the previews still.

[Marty]

Yeah, I know. People don't think you could just talk over that.

[Thomas Larajo]

So I went to the movies. I didn't know. I went to go watch a movie with my little brother, which is 11. My little. My dad kept having kids. My sister, which is 17. My dad, and he's 54. He's a grown man. And my sister, she's like 35, all grown, except for this little boy. I'm sitting there, the movie starts, and my fucking dad is worse than my sister times 100. I had no idea he entered his old man stage. So every time a word popped up, oh, 20 years ago, dead silence. Full volume voice, right?

[Marty]

Full theater.

[Thomas Larajo]

No, no, I think 30 seconds in, he goes, are we the only ones in here? Full volume. Like, there's multiple people in front of us and everybody's looking back at us. I'm just, ah. My dad's saying so much that my sister's shutting up because she's like, I can't contribute. She's like, I can't. I can't talk. Talk. He's too loud. My little brother's playing a video game on his phone, takes pictures with the flash on. And I'm like, yo, what is happening over here? My little sister starts talking, full volume. And I'm just. I'm just doing this, waiting for Craven to start sitting there. Oh, my God, dude. Every time. 620 B.C. present day. My dad, full volume ask, like, letting us know it's present day guy like. Like, we can't read this. So anyway, yeah, my dad is doing better right now, but I did not know that we were that family. I had no idea, dude. It was so. Damn. It was like watching the family that just litters and then you find out like, oh, you guys litter. No, I look like I littered.

[Marty]

That's a good one. That's a good one. If you're with litterers. Yeah, I didn't think of that.

[Thomas Larajo]

Who constantly looking, like, looking at people when they look back. Oh, man, it got bad. Anyway, that was off topic, but I just found out my dad is. He's an old man. Full volume speaker. Dude just found that out. But, yeah, he says offensive stuff all the time.

[Marty]

Well, what made him get clean? Like, when did he finally get clean?

[Thomas Larajo]

Okay, so growing up, like I said, my dad, he was ish there, right? So my dad was really cool. He's always super nice, always happy. He's the funny person. He's always making everybody laugh. But just because he's saying his thoughts out loud, not because he's trying to be funny, and you go, do you really think that that's hilarious? So it's like we're laughing at him, but with him too. And he was on drugs the whole time, like, on crank, my whole life, like, when I was a kid. So I didn't really see him, but I always knew, like, if he's around, let's hang out, right? So I didn't know he was on drugs. I just knew that he did drugs. I didn't know how bad it was. But, you know, my dad works his ass off, but you know those tweakers that are. But they're working constantly still. That's my dad with a fucking job.

[Marty]

That's really.

[Thomas Larajo]

That's the only noise tweak is I'm working on his truck for two days. Like that. He's on drugs, man. I didn't know. Like, he's been out there for two days. He hasn't came in. That's crazy. You know, working on the truck. Weird. But I didn't know. He's out all night doing crate. I was a kid. Anyway, he got clean when I was, like, 14. Right. So when I was 14, he moved to Portland, Oregon, to work with my uncle and got completely clean on his own.

[Marty]

And he'd go to, like, a rehab?

[Thomas Larajo]

No, we had to do an intervention. You did? Yeah. I remember when it happened.

[Marty]

I've been part of a couple of those. How'd you get them?

[Thomas Larajo]

Oh, dude, he walked anyway.

[Marty]

Early morning, late at night. When'd you get.

[Thomas Larajo]

Afternoon? Yeah, and right when he got off one of it, I got back from working on it.

[Marty]

Who was there? How many people?

[Thomas Larajo]

Our whole family, really. Grandma, my scary grandma.

[Marty]

Were the cousins that. Were they all there? Were they there, too?

[Thomas Larajo]

Yeah, yeah, they were.

[Marty]

They were everybody.

[Thomas Larajo]

I mean, my friend's always with me, so if I'm at my grandma's, my friends are there because there's nobody there.

[Marty]

So tell me.

[Thomas Larajo]

You know what I'm saying? Like, so I always had my friend there. She wasn't there, obviously, because I could bring my friend's little cousin, but my.

[Marty]

Friend was the ringleader of it who was like, all right, we need to do this.

[Thomas Larajo]

Aunt Tanya that ended up cheating on my uncle and selling his entire business for his best friend. Lost the whole business.

[Marty]

This is a goddamn scandalous family.

[Thomas Larajo]

Oh my God. This lady named Tanya, she's my aunt Tanya. My uncle Jaime, he cheated on her all the time. He's a bastard. Right, right. But the. For one time she does it to him. She does it with his worker. That's his friend. His uncle owned a business. So the one that my uncle's always like, ah, he's. He's my friend, but he's just kind of. He doesn't.

[Marty]

The one you won't suspect, he doesn't.

[Thomas Larajo]

Really want to work. And then turns out she's like, we're getting divorced and he's moving in and you're going to pay. So you had to pay for the house. Two years.

[Marty]

Oh, for my.

[Thomas Larajo]

And he quit and he had to give up the business to my aunt. So now his worker owns my uncle's business and runs it into the cr.

[Marty]

Oh God.

[Thomas Larajo]

They ended up selling I'll never moving truck. A moving company. He had like four trucks. They sold all of them. She got hooked on drugs. He got her hooked on drugs, lost the kid.

[Ryan Sickler]

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[Thomas Larajo]

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[Thomas Larajo]

It's all everything. And my uncle's sitting there just like this. Well, I guess. I guess I have to start over.

[Marty]

Holy.

[Thomas Larajo]

It's sad, but it's also like you were a bastard too.

[Marty]

This is the lady that set up the intervention.

[Thomas Larajo]

Yeah, yeah. Four years later, she's hooked on the same drug that she's. Yeah. Crazy, right? So yeah, she set up the intervention.

[Marty]

And then she's there a counselor there for it too.

[Thomas Larajo]

It's her.

[Marty]

Huh?

[Thomas Larajo]

It's my. It's her.

[Marty]

No, there's no counselor.

[Thomas Larajo]

You know, Mexican fools don't go to the doctors.

[Marty]

Yeah.

[Thomas Larajo]

Diagnose themselves same. We have the whitest person in the family, my aunt Tanya, and she's a white lady and she set it up. And my grandma sat there and spoken broken ass English to my dad even though she could speak Spanish. I don't know why she did the English. It was weird. And then I had to like stand up and say something. But I said the same thing I said at my dad's AA meeting when he graduated. My dad really wants you to be better. You know, I just did the whole thing like, dude, I don't know you're on drugs. I just know you don't come around. He doesn't look like he's twack. He said he's a little, but he's always like doing something. And we had a whole intervention. He's like, all right, I'll move. And then he moved and just got. Became an alcoholic, stopped doing drugs and started drinking in replace of it it and my dad, I watched my dad chug a fifth.

[Marty]

It was all right, I'll move and I'll get clean, but I'm gonna drink, drink instead.

[Thomas Larajo]

Yeah. So it didn't happen for like four months. He was just good clean. And then the way I smoke weed, I describe like I smoke great is the way he drinks. Man, my dad's a monster. But yeah, I watched him put like a straw in the fifth, like, like a plastic straw so you could chug it. And I watched him chug a whole Jack Daniels like the fifth. And that's when I was like Damn. There's something's wrong with this guy. They watched him look at me. Get off. They're talking to me. And then went and flopped on the face down, like, four or five minutes after. He. I watched him chug. He's like, watch this. Like, he's 15. He's like, check this out. I'm like, dad, what the, man? I was, like, 16 at the time. Time. It was weird watching my dad. Like, I always had to coach him. Like, hey, man, don't drive right now. Come on, give me your keys. I'm like, 11. I'm like, come on, man. Like, I just talked to me. He's my older brother. Because he does the dumbest dude. But he got clean when I was, what, 17 or 19? He's been clean for, like, eight, 17 years.

[Marty]

Oh, yeah. Even drinking and everything.

[Thomas Larajo]

Not a drop. Nothing. Oh, a year and a half later or a year and a half ago, like I was telling you, like, he. He. Someone. My little. Because I have my little brothers and sisters now. They're in. In high school. My little brother's 11. So my little brother calls me. Like, dad's acting weird. I'm like, what kind of weird? And he said one thing. I'm like, oh, no. So. Because I used to have to chop my dad from going to the store. Take him to the store. Or I'm against him and, like, you don't want me to be happy. I'm like, oh, my God. I'll take you to the store. Like, guys don't want him to drive because he will drive and crash. He's done it many times. So I'm like, what do you mean? He's acting. He's like. He's being mean. I'm like, what'd you do? He goes, nothing. Oh, no. So he's in the garage, like, oh, my God.

[Marty]

He's working on a car for two days.

[Thomas Larajo]

Yeah, he's in the garage, like, nope, that's not good. But I'm an adult now. So my dad talks to me like, he's my friend now after I've grown up. He's like, he's been sober. So we talk. He's my dad.

[Marty]

How many years again?

[Thomas Larajo]

Like, 17 years.

[Marty]

Oh, wow.

[Thomas Larajo]

16. And then I'm talking to my sister, which is just about to graduate high school. And mind you ready. Tony Hawk is coming, and Jason Ellis. So I'm like, I'm excited they're coming. Like, three hours, I'm at the warehouse. Like, oh, my God. I get my prepped up, get stoked, and I get the call, I'm like, oh, no way. So, like, when Tony Hawks. I'm texting them, doing it, I'm like, damn, I have to. I drove after the show. I drove straight to my back to Merced. So I had to deal with this guy lost in the city like a baby. And I'm like, they don't know what to do. They've never experienced my dad drunk because they've. You know, they're only 16, 17. They never seen this. So I'm like, damn, I gotta deal. So the whole time during that episode, I'm like, I gotta deal with this again. I thought we were done.

[Marty]

And was it just alcohol, though?

[Thomas Larajo]

Well, when I went to find him, I couldn't find him. So I'm like, oh, he's not at his spots. Then I don't know where the hell he's at because he's. My dad's a tweaker. He's a drug addict dude. And. But he's also a functioning one. So he has a diesel. He has a business. He works for eight days straight and then comes home and crashes because he's on drugs. So I'm like, all right, this is different. You know, he's an adult now. Before he was a little boy, basically doing that shit. So, like, I'm dealing with this. I drive there, I'm trying to find him in the.

[Marty]

His.

[Thomas Larajo]

My town. I finally find his ass. And my uncle's like, he's got his gun. I'm like, oh, God, is this. Is this how I go out, Like Marvin Gay or something?

[Marty]

Do I go out like Marvin?

[Thomas Larajo]

I swear, dude, I'm like, I'm gonna go up there, he's gonna pop me by accident. That's why. No lie. I was nervous to walk to his.

[Marty]

Channel when he finally stood up for his mom after his dad, and then his dad killed him.

[Thomas Larajo]

And no lie, my dad's great. But I'm like, if he's blackout drunk.

[Marty]

Does he even know what he's even doing? Right? Yeah. I'm like, I'm gonna wait.

[Thomas Larajo]

So I was like, I'll wait till the morning. I waited in the morning, went and tried to talk to him. And anyway, I'm on the phone with him because I can't find him. After I talked to him, like, trying to offer him. He hates driving. He's been driving since 14 by himself on the road. He's like, what, 54, 40 years he's been driving, doing diesel. He's on drugs, had kids young. He can't do nothing. Like, he's. I'm trying to explain. Like, dude, you've never had fun. Have you ever been on vacation? No. All right, then. Have you ever not worried about everybody else? No, Mike. And this is my dad, shitty drunk. So I'm like, trying to be positive and agree with him so he doesn't freak out on me and start taking off and giving some. And then I'm like, you know, it's just a long. Because, like, it's a long story. Because there's people in my dad's life that I remember that I hate. Like, his friends. If I see their faces, I feel like a kid again. Like, I fucking hate you because I know you smoke meth, my dad. And I know you're the that gets it for him. And I know I delivered a pizza to one of his old tweaker friends one time. And I remember he saw me and I saw. And he just put his head down. He took the money out. Because I'm like, I'm big enough to you up now.

[Marty]

Oh, like, he wasn't with your dad.

[Thomas Larajo]

Just like, oh, you're the guy I told to stay away from my dad. Now that I'm older, I can beat the out. Because I was a little boy. Like, can you please stop hanging out with my dad?

[Marty]

Right?

[Thomas Larajo]

You know, I beg these guys, like, please stop doing drugs with my dad. He doesn't come around. You know, I go to their houses and try to find my dad at tweaker spots. Like, it's annoying, dude. It's more annoying than it sags. I'm like, I got to do, like, I gotta deal with you and be sad about it.

[Marty]

Tweakers are probably. It's. I'm thinking about it too. Just, like, functioning. They're active. You know what I mean? Tweakers are out there, man.

[Thomas Larajo]

My dad will start sprinting. He'll just start running away.

[Marty]

Yeah, they're ag.

[Thomas Larajo]

He'll start running down the block. I'm like, dad, you're going to get arrested, dude. Stop running. Screaming like, it's at a point where it's just dumb anyway. I'm talking to him on the phone, like, the day later. He's like, talk about how much he's drinking. I'm like, all right, that's cool, man. It's all right. He's. I've been smoking. I'm like, what? He goes, I've been drinking a lot. I'm like, oh, no know. As soon as he said, I'm like, ah, this fool's on drugs again. Because then he disappeared for, like, four days. But, like, my little brothers and sisters don't know what this is. Like, he's showing up to meetings. He takes the baseball games. He's like a dad, right? So now they're like, yo, dad's yelling at me, and he's in the garage, and he's been gone for four days now. So they're. They're freaking. They don't know what to do. So I'm trying to, like. Like, do things in life and run these businesses and, like, text my sister. So this was. You're gonna do you. You're gonna take the keys, you're gonna hide the. These. I know it's where your spare says we're gonna go hide it, because he will crash his truck. He will wreck his truck.

[Marty]

He will.

[Thomas Larajo]

He'll hit a tree. My dad, he's just. Once he's drunk. It's. It. You can't even talk to him. He's like. He's another person. He's not even fun no more. Oh, God.

[Marty]

Ugh.

[Thomas Larajo]

Anyway, yeah, that lasted for, like, a year and a half, man. It just died down, like, two months, three months ago.

[Marty]

He's clean again.

[Thomas Larajo]

Yeah. Thank God, dude. Like. Like.

[Marty]

And what made him stop that? I feel like this age. It's health.

[Thomas Larajo]

Like, I told him, dude, no, no, he's. Drug addicts don't die from drugs. They have everlasting life. Once they stop doing drugs is when.

[Marty]

They die, you know? That's a great point, actually.

[Thomas Larajo]

It, like, hardens if you've been on.

[Marty]

Them for that long. You got to keep on going, maintain for.

[Thomas Larajo]

No, it's. It's a fact, man. But I kept telling me, you're getting old, dude. You have a. He has a stomach bypass surgery because he's not even fat, but he thought he was fat. And, like, you're drinking and chugging beers and doing drugs like, you're gonna die. And I told him. I. I got married last year, and I asked him, like, you cannot come if you're up. Like, do not show up if you're.

[Marty]

Did he come?

[Thomas Larajo]

My dad showed up sober, didn't drink a drop.

[Marty]

All right, all right, man.

[Thomas Larajo]

He came. He had his little camcorder, like an old man. A little old Asian. It's the same one my little brother had because he bought a vintage one because he thought it'd look cool. My dad brought the same fucking camera. So I was there. My dad. My dad's my dad. All right. This is insane to me, right? Because me and Marty did TED Talk. And that folk didn't show up because he was fucked up and crashed his car.

[Marty]

Crashed it.

[Thomas Larajo]

And then called me in the morning like, hey, what are you doing today? I'm like, nothing important. Like, he was like. He was trying to be like, I can't make it, but he was all up. I'm like, no, nothing. Do nothing crazy. Nothing today. I'm like, not a thing. And I was like, all right, I'll talk to you later. Like, you. I knew. And I told Marty. I was like. I felt like I was at football games again. Like, oh, my dad. Yeah, he's gonna. He's gonna be here.

[Marty]

He'll be here.

[Thomas Larajo]

He's gonna be here. So I was at TED Talk. I lied to, like, three fans, like, where's your dad? I'm like, I think.

[Marty]

I don't know where.

[Thomas Larajo]

I think he's coming right now at TED Talk. I'm all, like, professional. Like, he's gonna be here. I think he's. I. I just saw him because the fans are like, yo, I heard your dad's coming.

[Marty]

It reminds me. God, it's the greatest fucking thing in Talladega Nights. You seen Talladega Night? That's it. And his dad finally comes to the fucking championship race. And the guy at the window goes. And they play that heartfelt guitar. He's like, sir, I've been waiting a long time to give you these. And he slides them out and he hits them and he slaps. He goes two digits. And then he watches from outside the.

[Thomas Larajo]

Fence, just drinking the beers he bought with the money. Yeah, see, my dad's not a degenerate. But that's the vibe.

[Marty]

The best ever.

[Thomas Larajo]

Sometimes I'm like, I'm too old to be lying for you, man. Come on. But since he's been good.

[Marty]

He's been good since, so I'm glad.

[Thomas Larajo]

I don't know, man. At this point, I already told him.

[Marty]

Look, you're only 35, dude, I'm trying. You got a while. You got a long way to go ahead of you, brother. And you lived a wild one so far. Thank you. Thank you for coming on here and doing this story. I'm all pissed off, dude. Promote whatever you'd like one more time, please.

[Thomas Larajo]

Drug free lifestyles. Monogamy. Don't be a. Yeah, don't be a. Don't be a. Cheating also. Yeah, check out the podcast. Dope as usual. Podcast on every platform. Yeah, we dropped Tuesdays at 12:30. Push trees and zoomies. Dopashop.com. oh, my paper company's finally launching.

[Marty]

Yeah, you're doing a lot, brother. Good for you. That Zoomies is a big deal, dude.

[Thomas Larajo]

Dude, they're cool, man.

[Marty]

I'll see you everywhere I go.

[Thomas Larajo]

It turned out it was a fan that watches my content. Got the second buyer of America and he's like the first thing I wanted to do was get you on with like, no way.

[Marty]

That's awesome.

[Thomas Larajo]

All from, like the little weed videos. Like, he's like, I'm a fan and I like your company.

[Marty]

Congrats.

[Thomas Larajo]

Yeah, man. So that, that's all I'm doing right now and just working, dude.

[Marty]

All right. Ryan Sickler. As always on all your social media, Ryan sickler.com we'll talk to y'all next week.

[Thomas Larajo]

Later.

[Ryan Sickler]

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[Thomas Larajo]

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