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- [00:00]
A
The Honeydew with Ryan Sickler.
- [00:13]
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Welcome back to the Honeydew, y'all. We're over here doing it in the Night Pants Studios. I'm Ryan Sickler. Want to say thank you to everyone out there who supports this show. Who supports anything I do. I'm genuinely grateful for you guys. If you gotta have more of this show than I tell you every week and have been for years, you gotta have the Patreon. It's this show, the Honeydew with y'all. And you guys have the wildest stories on the Internet. It's five bucks a month, all right? And if you or someone you know has a story that has to be heard, please submit it to honeydewpodcastmail.com. hopefully we get to do an episode together. If you've already submitted, bump it up, resubmit. We get a lot of them. We would love to do an episode with you guys. All right, that's the biz. And you know what we're doing over here? We're highlighting the low lights. And I always say, these are the stories behind the storytellers. I am very excited to have this guest on here. First time on the Honeydew. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Piff the Magic Dragon, John Vanderput.
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A
Hello.
- [01:14]
B
Welcome to the Honeydew.
- [01:15]
A
Thanks for having me. Look at that.
- [01:17]
B
Hell yeah.
- [01:18]
A
I came half dragon today.
- [01:20]
B
Half dragon. I'm good with half dragon.
- [01:21]
A
Half dragon is more than enough, you know.
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B
Well, I've never met you before. I've been having a great time talking to you. Before we get into your story, please promote everything and anything like your special. All of it.
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A
Yeah. I have a show in Las Vegas at the Flamingo. Six nights a week and forever until the end of 27. We just got renewed for another three years.
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B
How many years you've been doing it already?
- [01:46]
A
This is our 10th year. Damn.
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B
Good for you.
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A
10Th year.
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B
Six nights a week, six nights a show.
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A
It's like a 90 minute show.
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B
Okay. It's a lot.
- [01:55]
A
Yes. Just me shouting consistently all the way through it. Usually it's small children because people, people, they see the dragon outfit and they're like, oh, yeah, let's bring along a five year old. And then by the end of the show, the kids crying, they're leaving the shouting of 70s. It's not good. But so we have that show and then we also tour when we just did it all the time on our. On our dark night. Friday night is our day off. So we'll do the show Thursday, get a red eye, land to the do a tour show Friday, and then Saturday morning come back to Vegas. And those days are piff the magic dragon.com tour. And we're adding all new dates all the time. There are a whole bunch of dates up there. And we have a special pift of my dragon reptile dysfunction, which is YouTube. And that stars me and Penn Jillette.
- [02:49]
B
From Penny, of course.
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A
He plays my father who comes back into town for one last go around. So that's been out for a couple of years. And I love Pennant.
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B
I've always loved Penn and Teller.
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A
Have you been.
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B
Were you a Penn and Teller fan before you met them?
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A
I got. Actually got my big break on their show in 2011.
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B
Okay.
- [03:09]
A
And, like, the idea of the show is you go on and you. And you try and fool them with a magic trick, and I go on and I do it. And I wasn't really interested in whether I fooled them or not. I was just, like, happy to be there, but they basically sort of didn't. They didn't really know how it worked, the trick I did. And then Teller comes up to me and he draws something, and it was like. It was like nothing to do with how my trick worked. And I just went, sure, buddy. Whatever it is, you know, why not? And. And so they were like, oh, you didn't fool us. And I came off the show and I thought it was a disaster. And then when it aired, like, four months later, everything blew up. Made. Made my career, like, my. The start. My career. And they said, we're really sorry you fooled us. We just didn't admit it. Although now I still argue with them over that.
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B
Is that right?
- [03:58]
A
They say I fooled them. I didn't fool you. You know, it works. But, yeah, that was like, my first big break in this business, really.
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B
So let's go back to the very beginning. Tell me, where are you from originally? Mom, dad, siblings?
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A
I'm from London.
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B
Okay.
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A
In the uk originally. I have a mum. I have a dad. They're about to celebrate their 50th anniversary.
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B
They're still together and alive and well. All right.
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A
They got engaged on their first date.
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B
Come on.
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A
On their first date.
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B
That's true. How do you meet? What was their first date?
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A
They met. They went through church. They knew each other in the church. They went to. They went to the movies. And I think on the way, you know, when my dad dropped my mum off, he was down on one knee proposing.
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B
Did he have the ring already? Like, did he know going into this.
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A
He can't have had the ring?
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B
If he did, he's a psycho.
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A
If he did, he's questioning my mother and every choice she made. Yeah. And now the worst thing is I'm gonna have to ask and I'm.
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B
How old were they when they did this?
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A
11. No, they were.
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B
There had not been much later.
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A
I think it was like mid-30s. Oh, mid-30s, I think.
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B
I think that's also. I would expect a younger couple to make a rash decision, like.
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A
Yeah.
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B
And not a couple in there.
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A
Crazy.
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B
And it's still 50 years.
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A
Then they got married three months later, they didn't even let it, you know, settle for a couple of years.
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B
Three months later they got engaged, date one. And three months later they're already fully.
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A
Married and almost 50 years still together. Crazy.
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B
That is crazy.
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A
Yeah. So I was very lucky. And I also have a brother and a sister, younger brother, older sister.
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B
Okay, and what did your parents do? What were.
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A
Their dad was in insurance.
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B
Okay.
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A
And my mum looked after the house and brought up the kids, brought us kids and. But she also then like after we were growing up, she like started working as a supply, as a, like a assistant teacher. And you know, she loved that. She still, she still kind of keeps busy with that stuff.
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B
Is your dad retired now?
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A
He's retired. He's. He's being a writer now.
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B
But your mom still likes to sort of stay involved with that.
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A
Yeah, she likes to keep it.
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B
I like. That's cute.
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A
Yeah. Yeah.
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B
What about your brother? What does he do?
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A
He's a director.
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B
Is he?
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A
Yeah.
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B
Have you worked together yet?
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A
No, no, we worked together when I was there. If you work together, he would kill me, I think. Yeah, yeah, we worked together when I first started doing, you know, like some stand up. Him and I did a double act and I loved it, but it wasn't for him. So he's. He does these great little short film, like very serious short films about real issues and. Okay, trauma.
- [06:46]
B
So what came first for you? Stand up or magic?
- [06:50]
A
Like, it was, it was magic. It was for sure, for sure. And that's the thing is, like I put like bits of stand up in my show still. And I'll do like five, ten minutes here and there. But I always come back to the magic because I love that you can like create this thing that's completely impossible and. And no one has. No one's done it in the world ever, you know, and it's like this trick that you can suddenly pay, you know, like pay your rent with and like. So. But these days what I try and do is I try and think of the funny idea first.
- [07:28]
B
This is what I wanted to ask. Yeah, you think of the idea.
- [07:31]
A
Yes. And so, like, comedy magic is one of the worst things there is on the face of the earth. I actually grew up hating magic. I hate probably 99.5% of it. I think, like most magicians out there are just lazy and just, you know, they buy the trick and they just copy the person who's, you know, video they're showing.
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B
I also, back in the day when I was writing and producing as well in tv, I worked, I wrote promos for a show called the Hidden Secrets of Magic or something like that.
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A
Yeah.
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B
And they were like, we're gonna make this SUV disappear. And they literally dropped a curtain, put hooks on top of the fucking thing, and then raised it up. And I was like, hold on. I don't know anything about magic. That's how I would do that.
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A
Exactly.
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B
You know what I mean? Like, that's not magic. That's just cheating.
- [08:16]
A
Exactly.
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B
And I was like, well, that's not magic. So then when I see guys who come around, I'm a big sleight of hand fan. Like, I like watching someone right in front of my face fool me.
- [08:27]
A
Right?
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B
Make my whole brain, eyes and senses lie to me right there in front of my face. I like that.
- [08:33]
A
That's how I started. I was like that for like 20 years. Just slight of hand magic.
- [08:36]
B
What was the thing that, that, what was it for you that you saw where you're like that? And what did you start dealing with?
- [08:42]
A
There was a Show late night, BBC2 in the UK that, that had these magicians, like, amazing Jonathan English guy called Jerry Sad.
- [08:52]
B
Can I just tell you one of my favorite things he used to do? I used to watch him a lot stand up and he go, anybody have a lighter? Anybody have a lighter? And somebody like, I got one, he go, throw it up here. And they throw it up. And he just put it in a jar and set it down. Like it was a CL that. I don't know why I remember that. I laughed like, that's good.
- [09:07]
A
Did you see. Did you see that bit we did with the tiny arm?
- [09:10]
B
No.
- [09:11]
A
Yeah, he's there in a T shirt and he's like, now listen, I've been in this business for a long time and I've actually been hiding a secret and I'm tired of it. I want to just be me. This is a prosthetic. This is not real. So look, let me just show you. And he turns around and he comes back and he's got like a plastic baby arm. And he's like, this is my real arm. And everyone just, like, loses it. And he's like, how are you laughing at this? I come out here showing you the real me, and you just laugh openly in my face. I was just on the floor. It was so good. And then he's like, you know, he's like, trying to hold the mic, wipe his face with his tiny. I was like, oh, my God, this is the greatest thing of all time. So, yeah, I actually. I was lucky enough to meet him and spend some time with him. Just the funniest guy.
- [10:02]
B
Well, you're also. What I'm hearing is guys like him who you admired and pen, they seem to respect you as well. Yeah, that's. Come back and work with.
- [10:11]
A
On that break on that TV show. The biggest thing that happened was it was just as YouTube was kind of like really kicking in. It got sent all around the world, and all these people, like all these people who are my heroes watched it. So I went to Las Vegas a year later to do some magic adventure thing. Everyone knew who I was.
- [10:30]
B
Wow.
- [10:30]
A
Crazy. But you know how they knew as well, because. So I did that show in 2011, 2012, I go to Vegas. The night before I go, somebody sends me a clip of a Russian magic show, and they have this guy who dresses up as me, and he does my act, move for move, beat for beat himself. The only thing you change is I have a Chihuahua. He has a guinea pig. It was unbelievable. He calls himself Andre the Magic Dragon or something because his name is Andre. It was amazing. But it's. You know, you remember when they remade Psycho, they did. It was. Gus Van said he did the. The. Just the color. It was like that. It was like shot for shot. They even did, like, all the shots that the directors cut to. It's unbelievable. I maybe, like, go to my. I will put it on my YouTube channel or something. I don't know. But so that happened. And when I landed in Vegas, all of these magicians were outraged. And. And all of these, you know, like David Copperfield, Lance Burton, all these guys, they knew about it. So, yeah, Penn and Teller were the. Were the ones who. Who made my career.
- [11:45]
B
That's great.
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A
Yeah.
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B
What was your first show?
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A
I don't know. It was that.
- [11:52]
B
I was elementary school or you just.
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A
Do like friends birthday party.
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B
What was the first trick you really mastered?
- [11:59]
A
Master. Yeah, but the first trick I loved was the linking rings, like these silver rings. And you. You know, and the reason I love them was because I met this the first time I really saw magic was it was like a, was like a ren faire, but we didn't really have those in the uk but it was like one of those and they had a jester there and he was doing these linking rings and he gave two to me and they linked in my hands and then they unlinked and I was like, oh my God, I can do magic. I can do this, guys. I'm a natural. I should. So then I like begged my, my mom to buy me that trick and it arrived and I was like, wait, this is all broken. Like these two are already stuck together. This one's got a hole in it. What's going on? And then I realized that like, oh, you had to do sl of hand to make it all look the same. But I was telling us, telling you earlier, that was the guy. My mom had a photo of that guy. And and years later I said to all my magician friends, I knew who is this guy? Because this is the moment I took up magic and they've tracked him down and they were like, oh yeah, his name's Such and Such. He's in jail because he punched a nine year old in the face in the festival and went to jail.
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B
That's where you do want to get.
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A
Yes, that's the origin story I need.
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B
He lost his. No more this guy.
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A
Cuz it, he's just dealing with like me being like, oh, I can do this.
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B
Like I'm tired of you.
- [13:27]
A
Son of a. Yeah, so great. So, yeah, so I did that. But then what happened was the more I started getting, I started loving comedy more and more and I, I, I didn't like doing the tricks without jokes. And then eventually you get, you know, that's what I was saying about comedy magic. The best way is when Penn and Teller are the masters at this. Jonathan used to do it. Like the premise is funny. So we got, you know, like at the moment in the Vegas show, my dog, someone names a drink, any drink, and my dog pisses it into a cup and we and they can drink it and it's the real drink. So like that, it's like straight away, I already want to see that trick in action, you know. Whereas if, like, if I was saying to you, okay, well you choose a card, right? Then you write your name on it and then you put it back and it disappears. It's in my pocket, but then it's in my wallet. It's like, oh, who cares? I don't care about that. Like, give me a dog. Pissing a drink any day. So that's like, that's the. That was the sort of magic I really got into.
- [14:30]
B
So in your act, as you're coming up with things, are you like, as a comedian, once we drop our special, we don't do that material anymore. We go out. So are you constantly having to come up with new tricks too and.
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A
Yeah, but it's much worse.
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B
But do you do, like, what. What matters to you more? Do you come up with new jokes as well? Or you're like, my jokes are good, here's the tricks. Or what I need to be.
- [14:53]
A
Comedians are always like, oh, we've got. We gotta have new material. My life is so hard. It's like, you don't have to do the impossible. Like, basically you can go on stage and you could try a joke and if it bombs, you just go, oh, I'll come back tomorrow. Like, magicians. And there are. There are like five famous magicians, maybe. Think of all the comedians out there. Maybe there were like five famous magicians. So it's a much higher bar to entry because you have to come up with an idea that's impossible. Then you have to find a way to do it. Then you have to find a way to do it on stage, live, in front of people. And you try it in front of people and the people go, no, not really into this. So then you have to re. Remake all. So this whole process, like a two, three year process, tens of thousands of dollars to get like one new bit that's like three, four minutes. So we all try, like, to not put our good shit on tv, but you have to do something to get. So we burn some stuff. You know, I probably got like, I've been doing this 20. I've been doing this Piff the Man dragon act like 15 years, and I've probably got two and a half hours of stuff if I stretch, you know, and like all of it is blood, sweat and tears. Yeah. And like years and years development into it.
- [16:11]
B
Have you. Can you tell us a time where maybe you've ever, like, literally dropped the Joe, like the trick or up.
- [16:19]
A
Oh, all the time. All the time.
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B
But where we would notice it or you can cover that shit up. We're, you know, so good now.
- [16:26]
A
Yeah, no, there was like.
- [16:28]
B
And how do you recover? Do you use comedy, since you're already in that sort of realm, to play it off?
- [16:36]
A
Just recently, right. Just recently I had this childhood idol magician called Guy Hollingworth. And if you like sleight of hand, I'll send You some of his stuff. He's, like, the greatest sleight of hand of all time. And he's, like, this very charming English guy. I love him to bits, so. But, you know when you meet people and you're like, oh, we're from two different worlds. We will never be friends. This. You know, the dream of us hanging out together will never come true. So then he comes to Vegas, and his partner wants to come and see my show. And I'm like, really? Maybe the dream's back on. So I'm like, okay, come. Come to the show. Come to the show.
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B
So.
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A
So they come to the show. And bear in mind, this is a show I've done, you know, for, like, three years, at least five nights a week. This is, like, bedded in material. Every single thing that could go wrong went wrong. And when I say went wrong, they went wrong without an ending. It was just like, oh, this is. We just have to stop now and just go to the next bit, because we can't.
- [17:43]
B
There's no cleanup.
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A
You know, I used to say, like, you know, tricks don't go wrong. They just have different endings. No, sometimes they just. You're just done. And we. We ended up. It was so bad, we fired, like, one of our staff members over it because they just kept messing everything up so badly. And I was just like, oh, there's nothing I can do to. To. To take back what just happened. My childhood idol will never see the show again, and this is what they remember. And some stuff like that. You say that's what magic sucks because it just, like. It's just terrible. But that's like. It's like a 1% occurrence, usually, because you're dealing with physics, and physics doesn't always work, so. Or it comes up with new types of physics that you hadn't thought of.
- [18:30]
B
Yeah.
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A
So, yeah, like, 99. But I don't think the nice thing is, you know, so I think magicians have a lot worse when it comes to new material, but I think comedians have it a lot worse when it comes to bombing than magicians. Because magicians often, if you can get to the end of a trick, the audience is gonna applaud.
- [18:50]
B
Even if you can't, you got another one coming right behind it that's gonna make them forget about that.
- [18:55]
A
You can normally get off stage, you know, to some sort of ovation. But as a. You know, as a comedian, you know, when I've done stand up and I got nothing there behind me, I'm like, oh, I miss it so much. I Miss it. I just want that, like. And there's the five clubs. My name is perfect. My dragon. I'm out.
- [19:19]
B
We were talking before the show, so let me ask you this, because you talked about some health issues you had before we recorded. But how long. You said, 2011 is where it really sort of popped off. But how long had you been doing this before, you know, what's the grind?
- [19:34]
A
I was a late developer, for sure.
- [19:36]
B
You were?
- [19:36]
A
Yeah.
- [19:37]
B
How old were you when you started?
- [19:38]
A
I started when I was 14, 15, doing magic and, like, little magic shows. Then when I went to university and. Because I went there to get a backup degree in case the magic didn't work out and. And I did card tricks all the way through university. I studied computer science, and I thought I was going to learn, like, useful things, but it was no. It was like ones and zeros. So I was in lectures and the guy was like, okay, you want to go 100-11-0001110. Of course you don't want to do 100-11-0101. That would be stupid, right? And the whole class would laugh, and I'd be like, I don't know what.
- [20:20]
B
The fuck we're talking about.
- [20:21]
A
What's happening, people? So I did that, and then I got a job in. I had this weird pain in my side, and it went on for, like, six weeks. And then.
- [20:38]
B
And this is. How old are you when this is?
- [20:39]
A
22.
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B
Okay.
- [20:42]
A
And I just was like, oh, this doesn't feel good. I think I should go to the hospital. And I went. And they were like, oh, yeah, you should lie down here for a little bit. And I think I stayed there for, like, six weeks.
- [20:57]
B
Whoa.
- [20:58]
A
Yeah. And it turned out they didn't know what it was for six weeks. Six weeks. And it was just a mass. It was like, horrible stomach pain. And so it took them two years to find out what it was.
- [21:11]
B
Get the fuck out of here.
- [21:12]
A
Two years, Six weeks.
- [21:14]
B
You're in there. One. So when did they release you? Why are they like, okay, well, here you go. And two years later.
- [21:19]
A
No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm saying. So six weeks I get out, and then a month later I'm back in. And then I'm in, out for two years.
- [21:27]
B
Oh, I thought you meant they. Oh, my God. You're going back and forth for two years for them. What was it?
- [21:34]
A
It was. It turned out to be pancreatitis. Pancreatitis. Which you get in a couple of ways. Mostly you get it through drinking. So. Which means you don't get any sympathy as a patient because, like, wow, you did it to yourself, didn't you?
- [21:47]
B
Can they tell? They can tell it's alcohol induced.
- [21:49]
A
No, no, they. They can tell, but people who hear about it don't know. They just assume that it was. Because it's so rare to get it any other way. I got it the other way, which is that you have a couple of tubes in your pancreas, and one of mine was missing the middle, which is not a good design in a tube. So all of the pancreas stuff was getting all backed up. And it's very. You know, this is where I'm like, how is life a real thing? But your pancreas emits, like, gives out this liquid that has a time delay on it, and when it gets to your stomach, it activates and then dissolves all the meat in your stomach.
- [22:31]
B
Is that right? Yeah, that's how that shit works.
- [22:33]
A
Yeah.
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B
I had no idea.
- [22:34]
A
Well, the problem is if it doesn't get there, it's got time done it. So it starts digesting your pancreas.
- [22:40]
B
Oh, it starts digesting itself?
- [22:42]
A
Yeah.
- [22:43]
B
And that's what's happening to your body for two years. Your pancreas is eating itself.
- [22:47]
A
Yeah. And I didn't know, so then I found out, and it carried on eating itself for another two years because they tried all this stuff and in the end they were like, okay, there is an operation we can do where we can, like, cut the top of your pancreas off. We can stick your intestine up there and sew it all together. And. And I was like, oh, that doesn't sound safe. And they were, it's very unsafe, actually. They said that.
- [23:11]
B
It's just like.
- [23:12]
A
Funny you brought that up. They were like, actually, good thing you mentioned. Yeah. And it was something like. Why the hell are you suggesting it? It was something like, well, because it was the only way. That was the.
- [23:26]
B
That really was.
- [23:27]
A
It was the only way. It was that or continue to, like, have this, like, attacks all the time and just deal Hostel all the time. And is.
- [23:34]
B
Was it deadly if you kept it going?
- [23:37]
A
Eventually.
- [23:38]
B
Eventually, yeah. So that's what they ended up having to do.
- [23:40]
A
So they did this, right? And they're like, it was a one in three chance of, like.
- [23:44]
B
Oh, the odds suck too.
- [23:47]
A
I'm like, buddy, I. Oh, one in three is not.
- [23:51]
B
So you could end up going through this whole surgery and still it doesn't work and you still have problems.
- [23:57]
A
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
- [23:58]
B
You're not talking about dying.
- [24:00]
A
It was a one in three chance that you don't get through the operation for what they were saying. Yeah.
- [24:05]
B
You don't even make it. Why, what happens then?
- [24:07]
A
What they do, they cut it. They take what they take out. If they take out everything because your pancreas is in the middle. This is why everyone dies of pancreatic cancer. Because it's the worst one.
- [24:15]
B
No shit. So I'm thinking it's 30% chance it works. 30% chance you're living.
- [24:21]
A
Oh, I thought it was like, it was a good chance it's gonna work. It was like a two thirds. If you don't die, you're probably okay. And I was like, oh, holy shit. So. And there's nothing like that pressure, you know, when they. When they're like putting all the. The medicine in you. They're like, count backwards from 10 and you're like, 10. One in three. That is not nine. I mean, I don't think one in three is a. So I don't think we should out, you know, but luckily it all worked. And it was literally like, suddenly I got my life back.
- [24:52]
B
How long was the recovery for you?
- [24:54]
A
It was like three months.
- [24:56]
B
That's not bad.
- [24:57]
A
Not bad.
- [24:57]
B
Were you like, when you opened your eyes, were you like, holy shit, I made it.
- [25:01]
A
Yeah, you had to be.
- [25:03]
B
You were.
- [25:04]
A
But I was, you know, a bit like in a bed. Come move.
- [25:06]
B
Is it ever trip you out, though, that if you hadn't woke up, that was just the end. It's just black for you right there. You know, you're just gone. You don't know anything at the end.
- [25:14]
A
But I don't really understand consciousness, you know, so I'm always a little bit concerned by this. I was brought up to believe that, you know, we live forever in heaven or hell. And I was like, neither sound like a good option? Like, you know, I think I'd like an end and one end in sight, please. So, yeah, everything about like, you know, closing my eyes.
- [25:36]
B
Like, are you saying goodbye to your family or anything in case. Or your parents there? Or. Like, I'd be this, my kid, everyone freaking out.
- [25:43]
A
I definitely. I. Well, yeah, everyone's freaking out, but.
- [25:47]
B
And also, what a decision to have to make. You must be in so much pain. You finally are like, I'll. Yeah, 30% take it.
- [25:56]
A
But you know what? There were bright spots. I got a catheter.
- [26:00]
B
That's a bright spot that gives me shit. No, I refuse.
- [26:04]
A
Oh, my God.
- [26:04]
B
I fought the ladies at the time.
- [26:06]
A
Treat yourself I can't think about it. Right, listen, Go in there now, look, you don't want to be awake when they put it in.
- [26:12]
B
Yeah, that. Well, they wanted me to be an argument like, I'm just going to tell.
- [26:16]
A
You that right now. You don't want. But they can, they can change. You don't have to be awake. Yeah, they put it in. Right. Here's the thing. It takes away your pee before you even think about it.
- [26:25]
B
What do you mean?
- [26:26]
A
So you know how like, you need to pee or you don't need to do that anymore, full stop. You never need to pee.
- [26:33]
B
You don't get a weakened up empty and bladder.
- [26:36]
A
No. You don't even get the, the concept of a. Of a bladder.
- [26:40]
B
You don't even know you're peeing.
- [26:42]
A
No, no.
- [26:43]
B
And they'll be like, look at this whole jug. You fill it up and you're like, that came out of my body.
- [26:47]
A
Exactly. You're not there going, oh, I need to pee now. Luckily I've got this tube so I don't have to get up. It's just gone. The clarity I had in my mind for that week and a half, a tube up your. Oh, my God. I tell you, like, needing to pee takes up a lot of space in my head because especially I don't get round to it.
- [27:05]
B
I'm gonna route.
- [27:07]
A
I still need to pee. I haven't just been doing all this stuff. Oh, it's the worst. And the catheter clarity is like no other clarity.
- [27:16]
B
I've never in my life heard this. I watched my daughter's mom when she had our daughter at the end after it, they wanted to put one in her and awake. And she fought like she did fight. And they held her down and put that damn thing in. And then she was fine after they got it in. But man, I don't want that going in me while I'm awake.
- [27:36]
A
There's a lot of things I've done.
- [27:38]
B
That did hurt when they pulled it out.
- [27:39]
A
Oh, yeah, it was the worst. I mean, I'd rather they cut it off, to be honest.
- [27:44]
B
Oh, you're leaving that part because they pull it out.
- [27:46]
A
Yeah.
- [27:46]
B
How long? Look how long that is.
- [27:49]
A
And then it's like, you know, you know, there's modeling balloons. It's like. It's like one of them is the worst coming out. But. But you know, sometimes you have an experience, you go, yeah, look, it didn't turn out great, but it was enjoyable while I was doing it, you know, and that was one of those.
- [28:06]
B
And how's your health now.
- [28:07]
A
Great.
- [28:08]
B
It worked.
- [28:08]
A
It worked.
- [28:09]
B
And it's continued to work.
- [28:11]
A
Yeah.
- [28:11]
B
And how old are you now, if you don't mind me asking?
- [28:13]
A
I'm 44 now.
- [28:15]
B
So this is 20 some years it's lasted for you.
- [28:17]
A
Yeah.
- [28:18]
B
And you're okay?
- [28:18]
A
Yeah, perfect. Yeah. I mean, I gave up drinking. I had to. I. I mean, which I did for many reasons. Yeah, but so I was. So, so if I wanted to keep drinking, I couldn't have kept drinking.
- [28:30]
B
But I decided that would just absolutely kill.
- [28:33]
A
That would just like aggravate it, you know, and that would also be a bit of a, like fuck you to whoever did it. Hey, you remember that operation you did where you saved my life? Well, guess what? I'm pissing all over that every day.
- [28:43]
B
Yeah, drank it. Fucking right undone.
- [28:46]
A
Yeah, exactly.
- [28:47]
B
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- [31:12]
A
Nothing was amazing.
- [31:13]
B
Just alcohol is really all you had to do and you're good to go.
- [31:16]
A
Yeah, and I like, I guess, you know, I don't, I shouldn't get, I shouldn't like try and get a beast. That would not be a good move.
- [31:22]
B
Try what?
- [31:23]
A
I shouldn't be trying get a beast. You know that. I mean, for many reasons, but that would also, as long as I'm just like reasonably healthy, that everything's fine. All right. Yeah.
- [31:34]
B
I want to talk to you about your dog.
- [31:36]
A
Yeah.
- [31:37]
B
So your original dog's name was Mr. Piffles, is that correct?
- [31:41]
A
Mr. Piffles.
- [31:42]
B
Okay.
- [31:42]
A
Yeah.
- [31:43]
B
What? When did you first introduce a dog into your act? Because I just want to ask, like, it seems like, look, as a stand up coming up with my own material, it seems like a lot to have to come up with your own material, perfect jokes and then add a fucking animal to them.
- [31:59]
A
Well, there's nothing more that I love than outrage comedians who would just look at me and be like, this is a gimmick on a gimmick on a gimmick on a gimmick. This is some bullshit. I'm out here with my jokes and you're there cheating.
- [32:11]
B
I'm looking at it like cheating. I'm looking at it like this guy's fucking introducing so many elements into this thing.
- [32:17]
A
Because this is the thing with magic is that magic is cheating unless you take it really seriously and you work really hard at it and you put, you know, everything that you, all of your resources into that one thing. And then it can be, you know, great. But that's why there aren't many good magicians out there. But so what happened was, so I got Better. And I went, okay, I'm done. I'm not going to do any computer. Not going to live my life, you know, on plan B.
- [32:43]
B
Okay, so this also made you go for it.
- [32:47]
A
So I went for it. And guess what? I got fired every single place I worked.
- [32:51]
B
Did you really?
- [32:52]
A
Yeah.
- [32:52]
B
Why?
- [32:53]
A
Because I was too grumpy. I just had this, like, I just have a natural wrestling bitch face. And these people were like, I got. I did a wedding, the closer magic wedding. And this guy came up to me and said, what's your problem? You're like the Eeyore of magic. And then he fired me because he was the groom.
- [33:10]
B
He was the groom.
- [33:12]
A
And I used to.
- [33:13]
B
The Eeyore of magic.
- [33:15]
A
I used to say terrible things. Like I went up to the table in a little Italian restaurant, like 50, 50 covers, and this couple are there and I go up to the guy and I to him and say, hey, I'm the magician. Would you like to see some magic? And the guy scrapes his chair across this, like, tile floor, stands up and he says, my wife has just asked me for a divorce. Do you really think I want to see some fucking magic? And I said, I guess not, because she just made half your house disappear. And I was immediately fired. Immediately. And so I was just running out. I agree. Yeah. I'm like, come on, that's pretty good, guys. Anybody? But here's the. You know when you split a room as a comedian, right? And but even when you split a room, you're still getting good laughs. Well, when you're doing close up magic to tables of six people, if you split a table, that's just three people not laughing. And that is very, you know. So I was trying. I was like doing all these jokes and I'd split tables and was just. Especially if you split a couple, that's the worst thing you can do. So I was like, I'm done. I got to get out of this job. I don't know what I'm going to do. I got to get out. And then somebody invited me to a costume party and I want to go and I don't have a costume. And I say to my sister, do you have a costume I can wear? And she's like, yeah, I got a dragon outfit under my bed. And I was like, I don't think I want to know any more about why it's under a bed. But I took it and I wore it. I walked across London in dragon outfit, which is like la. It takes like an hour to get from side to side. So. Except we have to use the public buses and trains and shit. So I get to the party, I go in. No one else is in costume. Just me in a dragon.
- [35:12]
B
In a dragon.
- [35:15]
A
So now, like, appropriately grumpy for once.
- [35:18]
B
Why did you think it was a costume party?
- [35:20]
A
They told me it was.
- [35:21]
B
They did. Okay.
- [35:22]
A
And then when I arrived, they were like, yeah, we said not to worry about it. You didn't get that email? I was like, clearly. Clearly not. So I'm there and I'm. My friend comes up to me because I look really pissed off. She's like, you should do this in your act. You could be Puffed the Magic Dragon. And I was like, I could be Piff the Magic Dragon. You might have heard of my older brother Steve. And I was like, that's not bad. That is not bad. And I did it. It took me another six months to do it, but I did it. And literally as soon as I walked on stage and I couldn't stop people laughing because it was just so dumb and I was so angry, you know, Just like I had this grumpy, resting bitch face in this outfit. I couldn't stop the laughing. I was like, oh, this is it. But it was good for five minutes. And I thought, maybe that's what. Maybe that's all it will be, five minutes. But then I wanted to go and do the Edinburgh Festival. So you need like an hour for that. So I wrote an hour and I went and did it. And it was fine for like 20 minutes. By that time, I could do 20 minutes, you know, but after that, it needed something.
- [36:33]
B
20 minutes.
- [36:34]
A
It is three or four tricks. And I was like, this act needs something. And the girl who was running the venue, she had a dog. She had a little Chihuahua. And so I was doing this, like, I was doing like the trip with an armchair. So that was like, what? Like, that was like my BE material. But I. One point, I had like, you know, the audience member in the arm chopper. And I was like, listen, if you don't want to do this, we do have an alternative. And we brought out the dog, and then we put the dog near the arm chopper and everyone lost their shit. And I was like, this is pretty funny. So I just got divorced and I was like, I don't want to date for like a year. I'm done. I just want to be on my own for a year. And I was talking to this girl and she was going on about how great this great having a dog was for company. And I was like, I think I'm gonna get a dog. She's like, really?
- [37:31]
B
Just in general, she's saying great companionship.
- [37:34]
A
Amazing. Yeah. Cause I grew up with cats, but you know, and Chihuahuas especially are like, they're like cats with love, you know, they're like unconditional cats. So I was like, yeah, I want to get one. She found this dog on Gumtree, which is like Craigslist in Scotland. So we go and see this dog and it's just like awful. It's like this like ball of suffering. And it's like it's teeth are like rotted, it's coats matted.
- [38:03]
B
It's just someone's dog.
- [38:05]
A
Someone's dog. Every time this kid walks into the room, he like starts caring. Obviously beaten up by the kid. And I was like, this is not a show business animal. And my, I rang up my friend, she said, look, just get the dog out of that space. Just, you know, just get, get him out. Like you'll be able to, you know, take him to the vets and get him well and then if you don't want him, just rehome him, but just get him out of wherever he is. So I did. And then for, and he went into the show and on stage people loved him.
- [38:39]
B
Wait, real quick, even though you got the dog, how quickly do you decide to put him on stage? Oh no, no, he just ran out of his.
- [38:47]
A
I tried it one day. The next morning I got the dog. The next afternoon the dog was in the, in the show.
- [38:54]
B
But did he like run out on stage while you were out there? And it happened that you brought.
- [38:57]
A
Tony came out, you know, you know this is, and it was the same joke, you know, this is the alternative. He goes back in, doesn't do anything. You know, just like brought in and out, but so we could handle it. But the audience loved him. And then when I got back to London, I'd take him for an hour walk every day, took him to the vets, got his teeth done. First thing you do in show business. And even the dog, even the dog.
- [39:26]
B
What do they do for dog's teeth?
- [39:27]
A
They put, mostly they pull them out.
- [39:29]
B
They don't put, they don't put a little, there's no, there's no grill for dogs. Yeah, yeah.
- [39:35]
A
So they, so I started walking him and he just took over three months. He turned into this incredible show business animal. Like his hair like suddenly like, you know, washed it, like got in the right food. His coat was amazing.
- [39:50]
B
He was a Pomeranian.
- [39:51]
A
His chihuahua. Oh, he was a chihuahua. White, long haired chihuahua, long haired okay. And people were like, oh my God, that dog is incredible. And what it did was the act was a little bit too. It wasn't deadpan. I was trying to be deadpan, but it was a little too, like grumpy, kind of like, what was that misanthropic when you hate life? It was a bit too much like that. And then the dog just gave me that light. So now I had like, you know, the two things. And so, yeah, over the years he became a big part of the show. And in the end we did 50, just over 15, 15 years together. We did 5,000 appearances. Wow. 3,000 hour long shows together. And, you know, just. Just an incredible gift they couldn't have, you know, couldn't have ever. That's why like 1, 1, 1. My friend said this to me years later and I was like, oh, that's what I was doing. She said, just say yes to things, you know, just like, say yes. See what happens. And like, that was the time, you know, when I was like, I was doing the Edinburgh show, wasn't really working. Like, my love life was awful and I just said yes to that. And like, you know, it really, you know, things turned around. So he was incredible. And he passed away November last year, but before he did, when he was about 8. So he passed away when he was almost 17.
- [41:27]
B
Oh, wow.
- [41:28]
A
When he was 8, I was like.
- [41:29]
B
That'S old for a dog.
- [41:31]
A
Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was like, anytime, anything, if he would sneeze, we take him to the vet. Yeah, yeah. You know, shoot him up full of vitamin C or whatever dogs like. So. So what was I saying?
- [41:47]
B
You said 17.
- [41:48]
A
Oh, yeah.
- [41:49]
B
Maybe around eight.
- [41:50]
A
Eight. I was like, I need to get a backup. So we found this dog, looks exactly the same. Found him on ebay this time and we meet this woman.
- [41:58]
B
Get a dog on ebay?
- [41:59]
A
Yeah. Pedigree Chihuahuama on ebay. I met the woman outside of Wendy's in Pretoria, which is like around here, isn't it? And like, you know, she had like a bandage all over her arm, probably where the, the puppy meal dogs were scratching her or whatever it was. So we got him again. He was, he's a fun dog, but he hated stage. Just like trembling wasn't for him. So then we get, then few years later, we get another dog, another pedigree, this time from a breeder. This dog keeps growing. Now this dog is 16 pounds, a Chihuahua. My original pit bulls was 5 pounds, 16. I can't hold him up.
- [42:42]
B
Is it a chihuahua?
- [42:43]
A
Yeah, we got him DNA tested Wow, 100 Chihuahua. 16 pounds. Because I wanted the money back, I was like, there's no way. Oh, it's a Chihuahua. We can't. Okay. So he just became like in charge of morale because he's a super nice dog. So then I started reading in Korea, I think South Korea, they were having problems finding bomb sniffing dogs. Apparently the most difficult dog to train is a bomb sniffing dog. Like a 5 or 10% success rate. So they found the successful dogs, they cloned them, and the new dogs had an 80 to 85% chance of success when you train them. And I was like, the only responsible thing to do right now is to clone Mr. P. Not for me, for the good of the audience.
- [43:39]
B
Sure.
- [43:40]
A
They want him there every show.
- [43:42]
B
I. This is. You've mentioned it a little bit before. We recorded. I am blown away by this. I had no idea you could clone a dog.
- [43:49]
A
Yeah.
- [43:49]
B
And that. What year was this you did it in?
- [43:52]
A
It wasn't long ago. He's the cloned dog who's called Fortune because it's our fourth dog and he cost a fortune. He, he's, he's two and a quarter. So probably 22. Yeah, mid 22. Mid 22. It took a while.
- [44:15]
B
Okay, I have just a million questions. So I was saying to, like, even though he's a clone, fully healthy, no weird side effects, genetic issues, no mutation, no nothing weird.
- [44:28]
A
I'm not. No, none.
- [44:30]
B
Were you blown away by this?
- [44:32]
A
I still can't believe it. Because here's the thing. I spent 15 years on stage with Mr. Imagine. You do a double act, right? You know, which, which, who's, who's a comedian. You like any comedian.
- [44:44]
B
God. Dave Chappelle.
- [44:46]
A
Imagine you and Dave Chappelle, you worked together for 15 years, you did 5,000 shows, and then he's like, oh, I don't feel good, Dice. You're upset, but you're like, well, hang on a second. Two years ago I cloned Dave Chappelle. Now, I haven't really paid that much attention to the clone of Dave Chappelle because I've had the real thing. But now I need to see where the clone David Chappelle is. Is just as good. And clone Dave Chappelle is exactly the same as the original Dave Chappelle you met, you know, on show one. Exactly the same, like, looks the same, acts the same.
- [45:24]
B
That's the thing.
- [45:25]
A
He's not the same as like the 15 year old or the 17 year old. He's the same as the dog that I rescued before I started training him. So now we. So that was crazy enough. So now I started training him and now he starts doing exactly the things.
- [45:38]
B
Hold on. The new one blowing my mind. You're saying the same mannerisms, characteristics as Mr. Piffles before you took him and then.
- [45:49]
A
No, I'm saying, I'm saying before I had Mr. When I've got him, you know, I didn't really know what it was like because he was like, he's just being a dog. It was a rest and he was a rescue dog. So you know, I have this puppy and the puppies growing up, I don't, I don't. I didn't get pitifuls till he was almost 2. So I don't know whether this is what people looks like. He starts hitting this two year period and I'm like, I don't really looks. Really looks similar looks. And I'm going back taking out old photos and you cannot tell them apart.
- [46:17]
B
You really can't.
- [46:17]
A
You cannot even you. The owner from the, from the photo.
- [46:20]
B
Yeah, yeah.
- [46:21]
A
And then just recently we have this idea for a bit we want to put in the show and we. With pitifuls and I trained to sit, lied down, took him for walks. But it was really funny because he did nothing. And now we've got an idea for a bit where he does something. So we're training this new dog. But I did train Pill was a little bit at the beginning and the way Pill was responded all these years ago is the exact same way this dog responds to treats. Come on, weigh guys down.
- [46:48]
B
Doesn't blow your mind.
- [46:50]
A
It's banana. It's crazy. Crazy.
- [46:53]
B
And are they genetically actually healthier than. Is this a dog that will live at least 15 years or is that.
- [47:01]
A
I don't know.
- [47:01]
B
I'm just so blown away by all this that there's not. And can I ask you if you don't, you don't have to say, but what's something like that cost?
- [47:09]
A
For real? I tell you it costs including delivery.
- [47:13]
B
They deliver tax. What do you mean?
- [47:16]
A
Here's how they deliver it as well. Because they were like, you come and pick it up. And it was in Rochester and we can't because we have the show all the time. So I sit on here.
- [47:27]
B
Rochester, New York.
- [47:28]
A
Yeah.
- [47:28]
B
Okay.
- [47:29]
A
Yeah. So I said, what's delivery? And they said we just get on a plane with the dog in a, you know, in a carry on. I was like, oh yeah, do that, just do that. And it was funny actually because we didn't want to give away. I didn't Want to say home puffed to my dragon. I'm looking to clone my magic performance Chihuahua. So we were, like, very cagey with the company who did it, and we arranged to meet them at an airport, at Vegas airport, by the Starbucks. And we're there. We spent like three months, you know, like, different email addresses, different. Different names, everything like that. And. And we're waiting for this woman to arrive at the dog, and I'm like, oh, fuck. And I look over and there's a huge billboard of me and Mr. Piffles. Nah, dude. Directly opposite the Starbucks. I totally forgotten about. So our cup was blown immediately, including delivery. $60,000.
- [48:32]
B
$60,000. I know that's an expense that goes into the show and everything.
- [48:36]
A
Divide that by 5,000 and you have a very. Imagine you're paying Dave Chappelle $32 a show. Yeah, that's what you get.
- [48:44]
B
Wow. And who's the person? Or how did you even find out about this? That it was doable?
- [48:50]
A
I think I read the article. You know, I just like. Like, it's either work or read newspapers on the Internet, so I do that instead. And then when I found that, I started Googling it and finding out all this information.
- [49:06]
B
But, yeah, like, can I ask you, what do they need to do? What do they take from your. Take from original Mr.
- [49:12]
A
I'm not very good at listening to instructions. So when they said, you know, this is the samples we need, I was like, great, I'll just tell the vet. And we've got amazing vet to do it. But it's actually pretty invasive and. And, you know, they have to, like, cut. They have to, like, cut and, like, go in quite deep to get the samples. And afterwards I was like, oh, shit. If I had known that, I would have probably, like, you know, because you can do it when your animals pass away as well.
- [49:39]
B
Oh, you can?
- [49:40]
A
Yeah. You can? Yeah. Oh, yeah. So then they don't have to go.
- [49:44]
B
Through that, like, pretty quickly, though.
- [49:46]
A
Yeah, you have to, like, within a couple of days. And obviously, like, it depends how your animal passed away, but I mean, I'm sure it's fine because, you know, the pitfalls went. You know, they given anesthetic and when they removed the samples. But yeah, they take these samples out and then they multiply them and then. And then that DNA is just there whenever you're ready to clone. But here's the thing.
- [50:09]
B
Wait, I'm sorry, real quick. Does that DNA still exist? Could you have another clone?
- [50:13]
A
Well, here's the thing. It works so well. When he was in the show and he was just killing it. And I was like, this is.
- [50:19]
B
You still call Mr. Pebbles. What do you call him at the house? What's his name?
- [50:23]
A
Fortune.
- [50:24]
B
Fortune. Oh, that's right.
- [50:24]
A
Because he calls his died now. So we show a three minute video which like, I'll send it to you. It was like, it was like a love letter to Piffles and everything he did for me because he changed my life. Yeah, absolutely changed my life.
- [50:39]
B
So we show that the girl that said, hey, you should.
- [50:42]
A
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. But we, we show that and then afterwards we have a slide that says the role of Mr. Pibbles will be played by Mr. Pibbles too. And then we just refer to him as Mr. Pibbles. Okay, so.
- [50:56]
B
But you said it works so well. Like that DNA still exists somewhere. You could again clone Mr. Pibbles, but.
- [51:02]
A
We sell them on, on the website.
- [51:04]
B
What?
- [51:04]
A
You can buy a chihuahua. You can buy a misspell. Yeah. What are you talking about? Calm right now. And honestly, I think it's a good investment, Ryan and I think you should do it while we're on air. What is it again? Say piffswag.com P I double F. Swag.com my fat finger.
- [51:26]
B
Tight. There we go. Piff swag.com. yeah. Embrace your inner dragon.
- [51:32]
A
Okay.
- [51:33]
B
Yeah, I'm looking at all Swag. There's a plush Mr. Piff. Do I keep going down here? Where do I go here? I'm down at the book.
- [51:41]
A
The pizza poster.
- [51:44]
B
Cloned Mr. Piffles for 120,000.
- [51:48]
A
No way. Yeah. Look, I've got a cuff. My cuffs. You know what I mean? Split.
- [51:53]
B
That's funny. Split your purchase into installments. That's introducing Mr. Piffles, the world's only magic performing Chihuahua clone. Now you can have the magic. So let me ask you this. If I get me a Mr. Piffles clone.
- [52:07]
A
Yeah.
- [52:07]
B
Here on your site@piff swag.com.
- [52:10]
A
Yeah.
- [52:12]
B
Is it going to act and behave like. Mr.
- [52:15]
A
It's very inclined to. That's what it is.
- [52:18]
B
Have you, have you done it again?
- [52:19]
A
Yeah, we did it again. It works so well. We did it again. No, because I. Because I didn't want to get into a situation where I just had one dog again.
- [52:26]
B
So wait, have you had them interact with each other?
- [52:28]
A
Yeah.
- [52:29]
B
Is that weird? Like.
- [52:30]
A
No, because it's what they are, is they're genetic twins. So, you know, like this is what.
- [52:34]
B
I want to become. So you're not a, an offspring or a child of. You're A twin. I'm a twin, so I get it.
- [52:42]
A
Yeah, so exactly. That's exactly. Yeah. Genetic twin. So we. We did it again because it works so well, but this time because they. They. I don't really know how this works, and honestly, I'm not sure I need to know how this works. But they. They. They put more. They fertilize more eggs than one, you know, to ensure you get one.
- [53:03]
B
Yeah.
- [53:03]
A
And this time, we've got twins.
- [53:05]
B
That's just like people here who plant the eggs in their bodies, and then they have trips or octopus at eight of them. Yeah, yeah. So we got twins. So now you have three, mister.
- [53:14]
A
But here's the great thing is you only pay for the whole litter. So now they're only $30,000 each. They're really getting affordable at this stage.
- [53:23]
B
You know, they're not jacking you. Like, hey, we got.
- [53:28]
A
The other day, I went to. I went to Singapore, right? That's where my dad's born and went on vacation. And I was Singapore Airlines, the second longest flight in the world in duration.
- [53:42]
B
How long?
- [53:42]
A
It's 18 hours. Oh, brutal. So we, you know, because we do gigs everywhere. We have all the states with Delta, so we get, like, all these. I'll get first for, like, we pay for it just on points. It's amazing. But on Singapore Airlines, zero status. So I'm like, okay, I just buy an economy ticket. Okay, it's $6,000 for two tickets for two. And I'm like, oh, that's a lot.
- [54:10]
B
In economy.
- [54:11]
A
In economy for 18 hours. And that's kind of a lot. And then we're like, you know what? We're doing a show, and then we're getting a plane. Then we, you know, we don't have many days off. Let's just see how much business is. $26,000 US. US for two tickets? Yeah. That's the upgrade fee. So overall, $32,000. I'm like, you could get a clone. You could. You could clone half a dog for the cost of their airline. So, you know, when you put it in. In terms of the air travel, it's not that expensive. Cloning animals compared to air. Compared to flying to Singapore.
- [54:51]
B
That is wild, man. That's really. I learned some brand new stuff today. I know we got to get you out here in a little bit. Can we talk quickly about your Vegas show? And you mentioned crashing and burning, and I want to hear about that.
- [55:06]
A
So I. So this pencil, I do this thing on Penn and Teller goes bananas. I land a small part in a Big Vegas show from that gig. 10 year contract. Move my whole life over here and.
- [55:20]
B
You got a 10 year gig off.
- [55:22]
A
10 year contract. Wow. Like, crazy money too crazy. And.
- [55:27]
B
And excuse me, you're only a part of this thing.
- [55:30]
A
Only a part. But it's only four days a week. And on the dark days, they say they're going to produce my show.
- [55:35]
B
Oh, great.
- [55:36]
A
Because I love doing hour long shows or, you know, like in Vegas. It's actually an hour and a half, but so I'm like, great. This is amazing. This is my dream come true. I go over there, day one, I'm in rehearsals, I look around, I'm like, oh my God. These people have no idea what's going on. This is going to crash. But it's a disaster. So I immediately apply for a green card. Seven months later, the show bomb, like, implodes. So now I'm on my own in Vegas, having moved my life out there. And I try, but I want to stay. So I try everything I can to get my own show in Vegas, but nobody knows who I am. So eventually I end up on America's Got Talent.
- [56:16]
B
At what age? How old are you when you hit America's Got Talent?
- [56:19]
A
35.
- [56:20]
B
And how were you for the Penn and teller show?
- [56:22]
A
31.
- [56:23]
B
Okay. So it's four years in between, a big prominent.
- [56:27]
A
Yeah, okay, yeah, go on. And does great blows up again. I get like, you know, I got like a golden buzzer or whatever from Neil Patrick Harris, which is really funny because in that Vegas show, the original Vegas show, he came to the opening night and I heard. I think somebody was lying to me, but I heard he hated my act. So when I go on miracles at 10, I see him there, I'm like, oh, no, this is the worst. This is. This is how I, you know, it's gonna. But he gave me the golden buzzer that like made my career, that stuff. And I got my own Vegas show out of it. And in a small room and we just worked as hard as we could to build that up and build the road up and, you know, like back and forth, like working like seven days a week for, you know, like I really. Until the pandemic. So, like, you know, almost five years doing that. And then in the Pandemic, everyone goes to social distancing. And we were in a small room in Flamingo and Donnie and Marie Osmond were in the big room, but they left. They were still performing. They were still performing.
- [57:38]
B
What for? How fucking old are they?
- [57:40]
A
Not they. Donnie's still going strong and It's a killer show.
- [57:45]
B
Is it?
- [57:45]
A
It's a he. This is how so crazy is he does a 12 minute rap in that show about his career and it's the greatest thing.
- [57:53]
B
12 minutes.
- [57:54]
A
It's. That show defies all.
- [57:58]
B
Yeah. I mean, they were teenagers, I want to say, when I was at least a kid, they had to be in the 90s.
- [58:04]
A
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's incredible. So they move out of the showroom. So we move into the showroom socially. Distance. And then it went. It just kept going, you know, better and better. So then we just reset. We signed a contract. We resign now. And I've got Marie's dressing room.
- [58:20]
B
Do you really?
- [58:20]
A
Yeah, she had a steam shower put in, so I've got my own steam shower there.
- [58:26]
B
Oh, yeah.
- [58:27]
A
Good for you, man.
- [58:28]
B
Good for you.
- [58:29]
A
But that's just been. It's been so crazy because magic, it's like we tour, but we can't do every trip we want on tour because these things are so difficult to move around. So in Vegas, it's like our super bowl show. We love it.
- [58:41]
B
That's great, man. Thank you for coming on here and doing this.
- [58:44]
A
Thanks for having us.
- [58:44]
B
For real. Before I let you go, I do want to see you do a magic trick, but advice you would give to 16 year old Piff the Magic Dragon. What would you tell John at 15?
- [58:58]
A
I would, I would tell John at 15, hey, you know this thing about having a backup. Like maybe you want to, maybe you want to have a plan A before your plan B, Maybe spend time on plan A before you, you know, because I, I spent a lot of years working on plan B and it was only when I just like, you know, jumped out the plane.
- [59:20]
B
That's great. Yeah.
- [59:21]
A
That it all took off. You have a favorite card?
- [59:25]
B
Yes, I do. I mean, probably a lot of. I have. I, I love the eight of spades and the ace of spades. They're my favorite.
- [59:31]
A
The ace of spades is very common.
- [59:33]
B
Yeah. That's why I said I like, give me an eight of clubs. I'll say that's my favorite card.
- [59:38]
A
Here's the thing though, okay? I turned one card face down in this deck, okay. And that was your favorite card. Now I'm gonna give you the chance right now to change your mind.
- [59:48]
B
Wait, you're saying in that deck right now they're all facing one way except for the eight of clubs?
- [59:54]
A
Or, or maybe I know what your favorite card really is and you haven't quite got there yet. Or maybe it's the eight of Clubs.
- [60:02]
B
Okay.
- [60:03]
A
What do you think it is?
- [60:05]
B
I mean, today I'm gonna say I don't know if I've ever really had a favorite one, to be honest. And maybe, yeah, maybe you did. Eight's my favorite number. But I can't say I have a favorite suit, to be honest with you.
- [60:17]
A
Well, but the problem is, is that whatever you say is by definition your favorite because you're. You're choosing it over the others.
- [60:25]
B
Mm.
- [60:25]
A
You know you Sophie's choice in that.
- [60:27]
B
I am, yes.
- [60:28]
A
Right. But you can still change your mind. The important thing is, is that once you settle on it, there's no going back.
- [60:35]
B
I'm gonna stick with Ada clubs.
- [60:36]
A
Really?
- [60:37]
B
Yeah.
- [60:38]
A
That's a shame. That's a real shame. Every single one of the playing cards is semi ramp except for one single playing card just there.
- [60:55]
B
Get the fuck out of my fucking face.
- [60:59]
A
Oh my gosh. Just listen, man.
- [61:04]
B
I've never met you. I even wavered on what I was gonna say and there it is.
- [61:10]
A
That's phenomenal question some life choices after this.
- [61:13]
B
John Vanderput Piff the Magic Dragon. Thank you so much for coming on here. Promote one more time, all of it, please.
- [61:20]
A
Dragon.com Google P. Just Google piftmandragon.com. just Google it. Google Piff the Mandragon. You'll figure it out.
- [61:30]
B
Thank you, man.
- [61:31]
A
Thank you.
- [61:31]
B
Thank you very much as always. Ryan Sickler on all your social media. RyanCickler.com we'll talk to you all next week.