331: Kelsey Cook and the Dementia Hat Trick: Jokes, Genes, and Greif

Summary

Podcast Summary: The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler Episode: 331: Kelsey Cook and the Dementia Hat Trick: Jokes, Genes, and Grief
Release Date: April 28, 2025

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1. Introduction and Guest Promotion

The episode begins with Ryan Sickler welcoming Kelsey Cook back to "The HoneyDew." Kelsey takes a moment to promote her latest projects, including her new special "Mark Your Territory" available on YouTube and Hulu, her podcast "Pretend Problems" with her boyfriend Chad Daniels, and her ongoing comedy tour. She shares links to her website and social media handles for listeners interested in her work.

Kelsey Cook [04:20]:
"Hello. So my new special 'Mark Your Territory' is out right now on YouTube and Hulu. You can go watch it wherever you want to watch it. My podcast, 'Pretend Problems' with my boyfriend who's also a comedian, Chad Daniels is out everywhere. Would love if you checked that out. And then I'm on tour. You can get [e-mail] and you can follow me on all social media. elseicook.comedy."

2. Revisiting Kelsey's Mother's Dementia Journey

Ryan brings the conversation back to Kelsey's personal story, specifically her mother's battle with dementia. Kelsey clarifies that her mother was diagnosed with frontotemporal dementia (FTD), a form distinct from Alzheimer's, characterized by behavioral changes rather than just memory issues. She discusses the challenges of getting an accurate diagnosis, as FTD often presents symptoms that can be mistaken for personality disorders.

Kelsey Cook [05:38]:
"That's become such a big part of the awareness that people are trying to get out with this particular disease because it's called frontotemporal dementia, FTD. And it's the most common form of dementia for people under 60."

Kelsey recounts her mother's severe episode on New Year's Eve, where her paranoia led her to call 911, fearing she was being followed by the cartel. This incident marked a significant deterioration in her mother's health, culminating in a final diagnosis following emergency surgery for a perforated stomach ulcer and complications from COVID-19.

Kelsey Cook [07:22]:
"She had tried to move down here to LA, where I was living at the time. And I got a call on New Year's Eve day from the police saying, your mom called 911 because she thought she was being followed by the cartel."

3. The Impact of Anesthesia and Hospitalization

Kelsey discusses the tragic impact of anesthesia on her mother's condition. The surgery, intended to save her life, instead accelerated her dementia, leading to her mother becoming catatonic shortly after the procedure. Despite initial signs of improvement, her mother's condition fluctuated, ultimately resulting in her being bedridden and wheelchair-bound.

Kelsey Cook [09:25]:
"It's like the most heartbreaking thing. When I hugged my mom before she went into surgery, I had no idea that that was the last day I would have with, like, my mom."

4. Kelsey's Genetic Testing Journey

The conversation shifts to Kelsey's decision to undergo genetic testing to determine if she carries the mutated genes associated with FTD. She expresses anxiety about the results but feels compelled to contribute to research and potentially help others by participating in clinical trials.

Kelsey Cook [23:36]:
"I've found out we do have two great aunts that have or had dementia. But either way, I don't know. I was kind of living in the ignorance is bliss thing for a couple of years."

Ryan emphasizes the importance of genetic testing, especially for those with a family history of the disease, highlighting the benefits of early awareness and potential participation in research.

Ryan Sickler [21:44]:
"You've got that imprint. Regardless if you ever talk to them again the rest of your life."

5. Speaking at an FTD Fundraiser

Kelsey shares her experience speaking at a fundraising event for FTD. Unlike the previous speaker, a somber Mayo Clinic doctor who discouraged genetic testing, Kelsey attempted to balance her comedic background with the seriousness of the topic. Despite feeling nervous and receiving mixed feedback—where one attendee wished she had incorporated more humor—Kelsey found solace in connecting emotionally with the audience.

Kelsey Cook [37:08]:
"Nobody's saying anything. Very solemn. And I get up, the woman's like, that was great, but I just wish you'd been a little funnier."

6. Balancing Personal Life and Dealings with Dementia

Discussing her personal life, Kelsey delves into her relationship with her boyfriend Chad, who supports her through her mother's illness. They navigate complex family dynamics, including Chad's adult daughter, and contemplate the implications of genetic testing on their future together.

Kelsey Cook [52:38]:
"I'm about to be 36 in a couple months... we really love our life together. And he has a hilarious joke in his Netflix special where he, like, his daughter's in college now."

7. Advice for Listeners Facing Similar Challenges

Towards the end of the episode, Kelsey offers heartfelt advice to listeners dealing with dementia in their families. She underscores the importance of connecting with support groups, such as those provided by the Association for Frontotemporal Degeneration (AFTD), and sharing experiences to combat the isolating nature of the disease.

Kelsey Cook [56:04]:
"The less alone you can feel, the better because it's a very isolating experience... connecting can feel better."

She also touches on the financial and emotional strains dementia imposes on families, highlighting the importance of planning and seeking support.

8. Final Thoughts and Continued Support

As the episode concludes, Kelsey reiterates her commitment to staying informed and involved in research should she test positive for the mutated genes. Ryan expresses his support and encourages listeners to follow Kelsey's journey.

Kelsey Cook [62:30]:
"I will. I really will text you. I promise."

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Kelsey Cook [05:38]:
  "It's called frontotemporal dementia, FTD. And it's the most common form of dementia for people under 60."

• Kelsey Cook [07:22]:
  "She thought she was being followed by the cartel. We're here with her in the grocery store parking lot and she won't get in the ambulance with us because she doesn't believe we are who we say we are."

• Kelsey Cook [09:25]:
  "It's like the most heartbreaking thing... I had no idea that that was the last day I would have with, like, my mom."

• Ryan Sickler [21:44]:
  "You've got that imprint. Regardless if you ever talk to them again the rest of your life."

• Kelsey Cook [37:08]:
  "Nobody's saying anything. Very solemn. And I get up, the woman's like, that was great, but I just wish you'd been a little funnier."

• Kelsey Cook [56:04]:
  "The less alone you can feel, the better because it's a very isolating experience."

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Conclusion

Episode 331 of "The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler" offers a poignant exploration of Kelsey Cook's experiences with her mother's frontotemporal dementia. Through candid discussions about diagnosis challenges, the emotional toll on families, and the intersection of comedy with personal tragedy, the episode provides both insight and support for listeners navigating similar hardships. Kelsey's vulnerability and resilience shine through, making for a deeply engaging and heartfelt listening experience.

Transcript

[Ryan Sickler]

Hacks is back for season four and so is the official Hacks podcast. In each episode, host Bobby Finger and Lindsey Weber will speak with the creators, cast and crew members to unpack the Emmy winning comedy series, hear stories from the set, get a peek into the writers room and break down the complicated dynamic between Deborah and Ava. You know I love Hacks. We've had Lunel on the show and she is absolutely one of the most funny guests that we've had on and she is on Hacks. I've been watching it. I love supporting her. It's a great funny show. The new season follows Deborah Vance making a move from her Vegas residency to Hollywood showbiz. Tensions rise as Deborah and Ava try to get their late night show off the ground and make history while doing it. I'm a big Max fan. I watch almost everything they put out. I'm deep into White Lotus right now. I love White Lotus. This new season's been fantastic and if you're looking for any more shows to watch, I promise you Hacks is one of them. You can go back and binge watch and enjoy yourself. Watch Hacks streaming exclusively on Max and listen to the official Hacks podcast on Max or wherever you get your podcasts. With a $5 meal deal with new McValue, you pick a McDouble or a McChicken. Then get a small fry, a small drink and a four piece McNuggets. That's a lot of McDonald's for not lot of money.

[Kelsey Cook]

Prices and Participation may vary.

[Ryan Sickler]

McDouble meal, $6 in some markets for a limited time only. The Honeydew with Ryan Sickler. Welcome back to the Honeydew, y'all. We're over here doing it in the Night Pan Studios. I'm Ryan Sickler and I'm going to start this episode like I start them all by saying thank you. Thank you for supporting this show. Thank you for supporting anything that I do. And if you have to have more, then you got to have the Patreon. It's called the Honeydew with you all. It is this show with you all. And you all have the wildest stories out there. I promise you it's worth every penny. It's five bucks a month and there are hundreds and hundreds of episodes. If you're not sure what to do, go watch the best of episodes that we release right here on the regular Honeydew channel. I've done a few with Josh Wolfe and I promise you those little clips are enough to get you to not only join, but maybe submit a Story. So if you or someone you know has a story that needs to be heard, please submit it to honeydewpodcastmail.com come see me on the road. Tickets are on my [e-mail] that's the biz. You know what we're doing here? We're highlighting the lowlights. I always say these are the stories behind the storytellers. And I'm very excited to have this guest back on the Honeydew. Ladies and gentlemen, Kelsey Cook. Welcome back to the Honeydew.

[Kelsey Cook]

Thank you. Thanks for having me.

[Ryan Sickler]

You're very welcome. Thank you for being here. First of all, your hair does look fire.

[Kelsey Cook]

Thank you so much.

[Ryan Sickler]

As a lady, was it nerve? Was it nervous? Were you nervous to go from longer blonde to shorter? Is this considered what would you consider this?

[Kelsey Cook]

This is like reddish. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was like red. Red right when I did it. And now it's a little more in the orangey orangey category, I guess.

[Ryan Sickler]

And you're also a lady in the eye of, you know, the Internet and you're updating your appearance. You know, the Internet's so sweet when you do things like that.

[Kelsey Cook]

Really the best. It's truly like, oh, I wish all these people were in my life in a more consistent. It's like Facebook especially. It's the olds. You know, it's like old men who will leave comments in all caps, like, screaming at me. Hate the red back to blonde.

[Ryan Sickler]

And it's an old guy.

[Kelsey Cook]

Dale. Like, what? Let's not. And it's always I. Every time if I go click on their profile says single, it's like, listen, I know that's not the case for everybody who's single. A lot of wonderful single people out there. But if you're gonna scream at women on the Internet, like back to. About their appearance, likely not a lot of women super into that. But, you know.

[Ryan Sickler]

Well, you look great.

[Kelsey Cook]

Thank you.

[Ryan Sickler]

It's great to have you back. Thanks. Before we get into your story, please promote everything and anything you'd like.

[Kelsey Cook]

Yeah, right there.

[Ryan Sickler]

Kelsey Cook.

[Kelsey Cook]

Hello. So my new special Mark youk Territory is out right now on YouTube and Hulu. You can go watch it wherever you want to watch it. My podcast, pretend Problems with my boyfriend who's also a comedian, Chad Daniels is out everywhere. Would love if you checked that out. And then I'm on tour. You can get [e-mail] and you can follow me on all social media. Elsey cookcomedy.

[Ryan Sickler]

So last time you were here, what's that?

[Kelsey Cook]

I said back to you. Back to me. It feels very new in the studio. I love it.

[Ryan Sickler]

Last time you're here, we talked about your mom and can you just give us a recap of. Because I don't mean to be ignorant. I do some of these. I forget, was it dementia?

[Kelsey Cook]

It was. You're not ignorant. You do so many episodes.

[Ryan Sickler]

I also am ignorant. Between. And I've had. My grandmother had dementia, one of them. But Alzheimer's dementia. Like I just lump those all together.

[Kelsey Cook]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

And I know that they're not to be lumped together.

[Kelsey Cook]

It's okay though. That's so. It's interesting you say that because that's become such a big part of the awareness that people are trying to get out with the, with this particular disease because it's called frontotemporal dementia, ftd. And it's the most common form of dementia for people under 60.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oof.

[Kelsey Cook]

And it presents very differently than Alzheimer's. It's not like just memory issues, it's behavioral changes. It's like just really their personhood can shift so dramatically. And so it goes really under diagnosed for so many people because doctors will just be like, I think this is like a personality disorder. There's not enough, I think education around it yet. And so unfortunately families and the people who have it can go like years and years not understanding what's going on, not having any sort of like real.

[Ryan Sickler]

Support and watching this person change, just like completely change. Do they know it? You know what I mean? Like, are you aware, like, hey, I never used to do this or behave like this. Before you start to lose your mind, you are aware that you're changing.

[Kelsey Cook]

I think so. I mean, I think it's so different person to person. But my mom, she would be like, God, I just like, I'm so anxious to drive. Like trying to navigate for her was not. Yeah, not a thing. But she got so worked up, so anxious trying to navigate places. She was having a lot of memory issues, a lot of like paranoia. I can't remember if I talked about on the episode two years ago that this was maybe two, three years before we actually got a diagnosis. She had tried to move down here to la, where I was living at the time. And I got a call on New Year's Eve day from the police saying, your mom called 911 because she thought she was being followed by the cartel. We're here with her in the grocery store parking lot and she won't get in the ambulance with us because she doesn't believe we are who we say we are, like.

[Ryan Sickler]

And also our paramedic is Puerto Rican. She's worried. She's worried if we were all white, we could get her in. But it is the cartel and she's sharp.

[Kelsey Cook]

Cookie, listen.

[Ryan Sickler]

She's got an eye for that.

[Kelsey Cook]

Oh, Christ. This. This podcast is so great because you really. It's like, you do have a gift for taking these dark things and making them. I mean, that's the whole point of us trying to like, heal the trauma. Well, we are find the funny.

[Ryan Sickler]

A lot of people, the comments, I can tell they're new here. Like, does this guy really just laugh? And everybody's worst times right in their face. And I'm like, not like that.

[Kelsey Cook]

No. Well, the people you are, like, we all love you. We like, we know going in, this is what we're going to talk about. And it's good for us too. But anyway, so, like, that those sort of things started to happen. And this was years before.

[Ryan Sickler]

And why are they calling you? Are you her, like, emergency contact? Or is she saying, call my daughter?

[Kelsey Cook]

Call my daughter?

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah, she is.

[Kelsey Cook]

Yeah. So because my parents have been divorced for a long time, I. It's just me and my brother, and I'm older, so I think a lot of that stuff kind of fell onto me. But yeah, so you're. You're seeing these things happen where you're like, that's not my mom. Like, this is so, so strange for her. And we got an MRI at the time. She took the memory test at the time. Nothing unusual. They were like, there's some plaques in her brain, but like kind of typical neurodegeneration stuff. Like, we're not that concerned. And so what I think I had started, I was here last is that at the very beginning of 2021, I found my mom face down on her floor, and I called 911. She was taken to the hospital. She had a perforated stomach ulcer. Her gallbladder was inflamed and full of stones, and she had Covid. So they did emergency surgery, but because we didn't know that there was this underlying dementia. Anesthesia can super accelerate dementia.

[Ryan Sickler]

Is that right?

[Kelsey Cook]

So she came out of surgery.

[Ryan Sickler]

How do you fucking figure that out?

[Kelsey Cook]

Because all the poor people that had.

[Ryan Sickler]

It happen to them.

[Kelsey Cook]

Yes. Where in an hour surgery, you completely lose that person.

[Ryan Sickler]

Is that right?

[Kelsey Cook]

Because. Yeah, I mean, it was so. It's like the most heartbreaking thing. When I hugged my mom before she went into surgery, I had no idea that that was the last day I would have with, like, my mom.

[Ryan Sickler]

And I want to just be sensitive with my words here, and I'm going to do this. But you're saying that prior to literally that surgery, your mom was still normal?

[Kelsey Cook]

Still. I mean, like, that. The LA weird spell of the paranoia stuff, that was obviously super out of character for her. But we moved her back to Washington and it felt like once she was kind of in more of a rhythm, she was mostly herself. We were starting to see little things here and there again. But overall it's like.

[Ryan Sickler]

Like, what percentage? 80% of you still.

[Kelsey Cook]

Yeah, maybe more. But I would, like. Yeah, I would still talk to my mom on the phone every day. Mostly felt like it was her. It was just small. That's what's so hard about this disease. It's like they can kind of become apathetic or just parts of their personality start to change in a way where you're like, God, what the fuck? Like, why is my mom being like. She's never been like this. And it sucks because you as family members get frustrated, especially when it's, I think, like a parent child, because you want your parent to be your parent. Like, you don't want to have to parent them. So it's easy to be like, God, why? Like, what is going on with her? Why is she acting like this? But you just don't know that that's what's happening. Until unfortunately, it's in our case, was like, way past a point of. I mean, there is no cure for this disease. But it just. That surgery and the anesthesia took her to this, like.

[Ryan Sickler]

So when she came out, immediately you saw a difference.

[Kelsey Cook]

I mean, she didn't know who I was. She didn't know where she was. She thought she had time traveled. I'm telling you, it totally.

[Ryan Sickler]

Whoa.

[Kelsey Cook]

And then she became catatonic. Like, six weeks into that, they were finally able to do an mri. And that's when her brain at that point was, like, so significantly shrunk and so many plaques. And that's when they gave the diagnosis. Because frontotemporal, it's the front and sides of your brain, which, like, is very behavioral, stuff like that.

[Ryan Sickler]

So again, you're talking to a comedian here. What happens to the body? Like, what is the cause of death? How do we die? Like, do you forget to breathe? Do you. You know what I mean?

[Kelsey Cook]

Is that.

[Ryan Sickler]

Am I a total idiot here?

[Kelsey Cook]

No, no, no. And that's. It's a great question because I also, like, I had never heard of this disease before. My mom having It. So one of the leading causes of death is pneumonia. Another one is uti, which I hear that so much. Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

And even for male patients, too, like, uti, and it gets up into your system, and it, like, really fucks you up.

[Kelsey Cook]

Well, it can go to your kidneys so quickly and then. And it's just. It's so hard because they might not be experiencing pain the same way that other people will. They might not be able to even.

[Ryan Sickler]

Communicate anymore or even know what the hell it is.

[Kelsey Cook]

Exactly.

[Ryan Sickler]

Wow.

[Kelsey Cook]

So you can see, typically older people, when they get a uti, their mentation just goes south very quickly. You can. You're like, something's going on here. And UTI is one of the first things they check. But so, yeah, pneumonia, uti, also with ftd, the. They have difficulty swallowing, like, increasingly for most people. And so that can become an issue where it's like, maybe they just are not able to swallow anymore. And then you're dealing with that. So it's like this is her fourth year since her diagnosis. And I've never had to face death like this. You know, I've been lucky that before my mom getting this disease, I had not truly lost, like, a significant person in my life.

[Ryan Sickler]

No grandparents.

[Kelsey Cook]

Right, right, right. I lost my two of my grandparents when I was very young. And the others I still have. And. Yeah, I mean, there's, like. There is nothing darker and harder than watching your parent, like, losing them slowly, but there's still a lot. It's like a very. This, like, horrible, prolonged grief. It's like. It's.

[Ryan Sickler]

It's like a double death.

[Kelsey Cook]

It's a double death. Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

You've lost mom. Now there's this shell of what used to be mom. And now we have to just wait time.

[Kelsey Cook]

Right.

[Ryan Sickler]

Gonna take this, and, you know, it's gonna be.

[Kelsey Cook]

Yeah, yeah. It's not gonna come.

[Ryan Sickler]

And it's not even that lady anymore. And you can't even say the. You'd love to say to your mom on her way out, because she might not even know who the fuck you are or registered or anything.

[Kelsey Cook]

Yeah, it's.

[Ryan Sickler]

Man, what a mind fuck.

[Kelsey Cook]

Yeah. It is truly the worst. There's.

[Ryan Sickler]

How long was your mom in the hospital and stuff?

[Kelsey Cook]

Five months.

[Ryan Sickler]

Five months. Did she. When did. What finally happens?

[Kelsey Cook]

So. And I apologize if I'm repeating myself too much from two years ago, but. So she. She was in the hospital for five months when she went catatonic and they diagnosed her. They thought at that time that she had six weeks to live. And so my Family and I were just like completely shattered. I mean, this just was so out of nowhere. And then she pulled out of being catatonic, was doing better, but then like would go in and out, like wouldn't eat, would start to eat again. Finally was discharged after five months. And so she is in like an adult family home now. And right now she is. Yep. Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

And is there been any, like, when you go visit her, does she know you so. Or does she know you now because. You know what I mean?

[Kelsey Cook]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

So she learned who you are.

[Kelsey Cook]

It's.

[Ryan Sickler]

Does that make sense?

[Kelsey Cook]

Yeah, totally. It varies. So I was there over Christmas and. And I'll see her again this weekend. She didn't know who I was the first day and then knew. Seemed to know who I was the second two days. So I FaceTime with her almost every day and she seems to know me most of the time over FaceTime. But it's hard. If you ask her how old she is because she's 72, but if you ask her how old she is, she'll say 42. And so then she thinks that her kids are like six.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, so the math. Maths for her, you're not.

[Kelsey Cook]

So it doesn't. Sometimes when she doesn't know it's me. It's not necessarily that she doesn't.

[Ryan Sickler]

Isn't it?

[Kelsey Cook]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Like for the brain to be so fucked up, but then to be like, no, I'm 42 and that makes my kids this age.

[Kelsey Cook]

Yes.

[Ryan Sickler]

To know that, like the years and the difference. So wait, two years ago you're here talking about your mom and they, at that time, they, they thought six weeks.

[Kelsey Cook]

No, that was when she first went in the hospital.

[Ryan Sickler]

Okay.

[Kelsey Cook]

But she is still alive four years later.

[Ryan Sickler]

Four years later.

[Kelsey Cook]

Four years later she has gone on and off of hospice like four or five times, which again, this disease, it's so crazy. It will. It can just drop suddenly and they'll be like, hey, I think this is it. I can't remember if this had happened before. I had come on last time, but I flew to London to shoot a TV show and they called and they were like, this might be it.

[Ryan Sickler]

I think you did say you flew back, right?

[Kelsey Cook]

I flew back, yeah. And then she pulled through. But it really can. Where you're looking at them and you're like, oh, yeah, I think maybe this is it. And then they can just like bounce back a little bit, be kind of, you know, stable for a while. So she's been stable for maybe like a year now.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah.

[Kelsey Cook]

Since the last time she was on hospice maybe, but. Yeah, so she can still talk, but it's very.

[Ryan Sickler]

Is she bedridden?

[Kelsey Cook]

Yeah, four years.

[Ryan Sickler]

How do they get you up and move you around?

[Kelsey Cook]

They. They have a lift that they put her into a wheelchair every day. So she has time in the wheelchair every day, but then goes back because she broke her hip the day before. She was supposed to be discharged from the hospital because they weren't watching her close enough. There's been so much shit with the. I mean, your. Oh, that's right. Last time I was on, you had just had your whole horrible thing in the hospital. Yeah. So, yeah, we. I remember we were talking. We were talking about that. Stay the fuck out. Like, take care of yourself as best you can. Because, God, it's.

[Ryan Sickler]

I had Dan Van Kirk tell me, like his. I want to say it was his 90 year old grandmother. Like, they were trying to move her from one bed to another and completely dropped her on the floor and like.

[Kelsey Cook]

Cracked her back, her head, everything. I'm like, Christ, I. It's unbelievable. Like, your whole life, you grow up thinking like, oh, the hospital. People get better.

[Ryan Sickler]

That's where they go.

[Kelsey Cook]

It's like, you don't want to be in there.

[Ryan Sickler]

I looked up the list of people they've killed at Cedar Sinai and it's. It's an extensive.

[Kelsey Cook]

Oh, dude, you are dark as hell. That is.

[Ryan Sickler]

I look up celebrities who've been. Who've died at Cedar Sinai. Not that I'm a celebrity anyway, but my point is. Well, if Bill Paxton is getting Charles Bronson. They're killing at Cedar Sinai. Death Wish. They're killing. Who am I? I know they've got insurance. They got sag, aftra, I got Blue Shield, Silver. Okay. I know they're fucking not coming for me if they're killing those.

[Kelsey Cook]

Oh, is he. Who's in Casp?

[Ryan Sickler]

He was. I don't know if he's in Casper. He's Torn or Twister. He's. Oh, no, Alien.

[Kelsey Cook]

I'm thinking, who's the Bill that's in Casper? You guys know what I'm talking about. Anyway, we'll have to look. Yeah. So funny. Yeah. Got that Twister money and still going down. Who knows?

[Ryan Sickler]

They did that Mormon show, Big Love on HBO with him. Like he's Bill Paxton. Weird science from back in the day, all kinds of.

[Kelsey Cook]

But you gotta make sure.

[Ryan Sickler]

Dead at Cedar Sinai. What? The Bill Pullman on Casper, she says.

[Kelsey Cook]

Oh, see? Yeah, that was pretty close. Yeah. So my, My mom fell in the hospital day before she was supposed to Be discharged, broke her hip. They had to keep her there for longer. And then we found out, like, a few weeks after she had been discharged that they didn't do a follow up. They were supposed to do so. Her hip never set right. And so. And she can't, like, communicate. And we also don't know if she even feels certain discomforts the same as other people. But it's so hard, too, because you hear these absolutely gut wrenching stories of people with dementia who get up, fall, you know, have a brain bleed, and that's how they die. And so it's so hard because it's like, I hate more than anything that my mom is bedridden. And I also would have been terrified every day, too, thinking about her, like, just trying to walk out the front door, slipping and falling, getting a brain bleed. It's like, it's all horrible. Every. There's like no good part of it. So. Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

And last time you were here, I asked you about getting genetic testing.

[Kelsey Cook]

Yes.

[Ryan Sickler]

And I asked that because I had to end up going through genetic testing because I kept clotting my, my. They didn't know what they. They were telling me it could be leukemia, cancer, all kinds of hot whatever.

[Kelsey Cook]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Lymphoma. And I'm freaking the out, right. And it turns out it's this genetic thing, and then everybody's got to get tested. And I was saying to you off Mike like, that even if you don't talk to your family anymore, there's so many of people who come on here, we're like, I don't talk to my parents or my dad or whatever they're. And I get that.

[Kelsey Cook]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

But do everything you can to find out what their fucking genetics are, know.

[Kelsey Cook]

What they're giving you.

[Ryan Sickler]

You've got that imprint. Regardless if you ever talk to them again the rest of your life.

[Kelsey Cook]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

And I don't find out I have this blood disease till I'm 42. How old are you?

[Kelsey Cook]

I'll be 36 in a couple months.

[Ryan Sickler]

So imagine you've got a disease right now you don't even know about and even manifest into you until you're six more years.

[Kelsey Cook]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

And you're like, what the. I've had this my whole life.

[Kelsey Cook]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

So, you know, getting ahead of that is again why I was telling you I can. If my daughter does have this, I can educate her. Like, no birth control, blood clots, all these things. And again, I'm a man, you're a female you. That disease may affect you differently. And if you have a Daughter, you can pass that on and so forth. So you also said I was the only person of all the people who asked you if you would do genetic testing. And I find it disturbing that a professional clown is the only person in this world of medicine and everything you're in saying, hey, maybe you should consider genetic testing. Nobody at the hospital or anything. No one. No, not wild.

[Kelsey Cook]

Because even the people in the hospital, it's like people don't know enough about this disease. Because when people get ftd, it can either be genetic or sporadic, where it's environmental, whatever.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, is that right?

[Kelsey Cook]

Yeah. Okay. You know, I think like, diet, lifestyle, sort of those things. But. So my mom had not been tested. I'm about to. I just. So I ordered the test for myself a couple of weeks ago, sent it in. I'm about to see her tomorrow, actually, I ordered a test for her. So I'm going to do a cheek swab. Because I started to dig, to dig more into my family history and ask more people, like, do we have great aunts, great grandparents with dementia? I come to find out we do have two great aunts that have or had dementia.

[Ryan Sickler]

Mom's side.

[Kelsey Cook]

I. My. Yes. My mom's side, her dad's side. And so we don't know for sure if that was ftd, what they had, or if it was another type of dementia. But either way, I don't know. I was kind of living in the, like, ignorance is bliss thing for a couple of years where I was like, if I find out I have it, what am I just going to stress out for until it hits me? And then the more I started to talk to people who lost a parent to ftd, they did the genetic testing, found out they have it. Now they are participating in so many, like, clinical trials, they're able to use their blood and everything for other research. It's like, you know what? It. It started to feel not irresponsible, but like, I could be helping so much more if I do have it. I could be helping myself and others to find this out.

[Ryan Sickler]

So tell me, how can you help yourself? Let's start there. What can you do? Okay, let's go back a little bit. Are you nervous as shit to get these results?

[Kelsey Cook]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah. Is it definitely.

[Kelsey Cook]

If you have. I think that's one of four genes that could be mutated. If you have a mutated gene, it is like, I think, 80% chance, and.

[Ryan Sickler]

That means it'll affect you. This one's for people under 60. This is a younger person's.

[Kelsey Cook]

There are Stories I've read where people start to get symptoms in their mid to late 30s and pass in their early 40s. So you're like, I mean, if you.

[Ryan Sickler]

Forget your keys, do you shoot yourself? You know what I mean? I'd be like, oh, here it is. Goddamn. It's all said already. God damn it. I'd be terrified to forget.

[Kelsey Cook]

I bet, like, this is, I'm not a good person mentally for this to. I'm like already very, like a very anxious. Just like in my head, a worrier. So to have any of these, like exactly. You see any glimpse of it and you go, what the f is this?

[Ryan Sickler]

Here it is. I'm start forgetting everything now.

[Kelsey Cook]

Oh my God. Yeah. Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

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[Kelsey Cook]

So when I cut my hair short, I felt like I kind of got a little. I'm like a very, very people pleaser, very like nice person. But I felt myself get like a little more attitude y sometimes like a little more. If somebody did something on the road, I'd like honk instead of just being like, oh, that sucks. And my therapist called this haircut a cunty bo.

[Ryan Sickler]

A C Bob as well.

[Kelsey Cook]

Because she has to. It's like, it's not a Karen. It's like a cunty Bob. And it's like, oh my God. It's so funny because there is. There's something about this haircut. I feel like a little. I don't know. I don't know how to explain.

[Ryan Sickler]

A little more edge.

[Kelsey Cook]

Yeah, I don't know. And. But when I like honk and travel, you know, I'm like, is this it? Like, am I having, like, am I going to become different? It's. It's really rough to see all these things because you want to educate yourself. Of course. Like, I know so much about the disease now, but also you don't want to use that to ruin your day to day. But it's very terrifying.

[Ryan Sickler]

I can only imagine. I mean, I have two genetic diseases. One I don't find out about till I'm 42. The other one, the first one we found out we were in high school. I want to say 9th, 10th grade.

[Kelsey Cook]

Oh my God. So young.

[Ryan Sickler]

But you gotta know. You have to know. Yeah, you have to know because that's not just what you're dealing with. Isn't just a simple like, oh, well, you know, it could be breast cancer. This is a.

[Kelsey Cook]

This is a life.

[Ryan Sickler]

A life changing ticking time bomb and you don't even know it's coming if you don't have it.

[Kelsey Cook]

Exactly. A life expectancy. I mean, it's If I have it, it would completely change my life.

[Ryan Sickler]

How old's your mom?

[Kelsey Cook]

She's 72.

[Ryan Sickler]

In the last five years, you said she's been dealing with this.

[Kelsey Cook]

Got diagnosed at 68, but was showing. You know, we look back now, and we do see some of the symptoms. Maybe 65, 66. So, yeah, it's. I think it's important not just for myself to know, but for my family, too, because it's like, if I have it, of course I'm gonna tell my brother. Like, you should look into this, too. He has daughters. It's. It's just.

[Ryan Sickler]

Has he gone and done.

[Kelsey Cook]

No, I. I kind of wanted to wait and talk to my family about it until I got the results because I also didn't want to, like, scare my family unnecessarily. I don't know. This. It's so funny. When I do this podcast, this feels like therapy, even though it's a very public podcast. But, yeah, I don't know. I feel like that's. It's a big thing to talk about.

[Ryan Sickler]

I don't think I'd be ballsy enough to call your hair a cunty bob. You're paying me. You know, I mean, like, let's pull up the brakes.

[Kelsey Cook]

She has. But she has the haircut, too. And so that's why she was like, listen, it's a contemplation. I was like, that's very funny. So, yeah, it's. I. I will definitely keep you updated when I find out the results. Especially because I feel like, you know, you were one of the first people to even be like, are you going to do that? Like, is this even genetic? People just. So many people don't know about it or understand it.

[Ryan Sickler]

But also, you're saying it's kind of a thing that they're not even really sure of until it sort of really sets in, and they're like, okay, we can now tell you it. Is this right?

[Kelsey Cook]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

But even seeing the early stages, it sounds like it could be a variation. It could be several different things. You're not sure until it really sets in, which.

[Kelsey Cook]

Yeah. Which is.

[Ryan Sickler]

And then it's too late.

[Kelsey Cook]

Exactly. Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

And you might not even be mentally there enough to realize what they're telling you. Your diagnosis is exactly. It's. Does your mom. When you talk to your mom, have you. Are you able to tell her? Does she know what is going on with her? Is she aware of that now?

[Kelsey Cook]

She maybe, like, three, four years ago would say to me and my cousin, she'd be like, I know I have the big D. Like, she was like. She didn't want to say the word.

[Ryan Sickler]

Have you been able to tell her it's actually not that it's this thing?

[Kelsey Cook]

Well, it is dementia. I mean. Okay, we've talked. When she was a little more. If it felt like she was in a place where I could talk about it with her in a way to, like, comfort her. Because sometimes back when she was a little more lucid, she would feel frustrated, or she'd be like, I just. I can't think of the word I want, or I can't say, or whatever. And I'd say, I don't want you to feel bad about that, though, because this is that disease. And, like, it's okay. That's. I just. I don't know. She's so brilliant. I know I've mentioned on here before, she's in Mensa. She speaks three languages. I think she can.

[Ryan Sickler]

She still.

[Kelsey Cook]

No, I mean, if I speak some French to her, she'll kind of, like, nod like she gets what I'm saying. But she hasn't spoken French back to me for a really long time. But, yeah, I don't know. I think she just. I think she would want to know certain things, but you also don't want to upset them. It's a hard line to tell. So, yeah. And now I just. I think I was trying to hide away from it because it was so overwhelming and so painful, and now I'm, like, getting the test done. I was asked to be a speaker at an FTD fundraiser, which I had, like, never done anything like that before. And polar opposite experience of comedy. Have you done, like, a serious talk before at, like, any sort of thing?

[Ryan Sickler]

No, I've done worse. I was tired to be. So. A good friend of mine lost his son to. Oh, gosh. I want to be clear. It's called pulmonary hypertension, I believe, and it's something I'd never heard of before. And if he was a young kid and he passed and we had worked together, we were writers at Fox, and he was like. He knew I did comedy. He's like, you know, I'm on this board for this thing, and they do a, you know, like a yearly meeting, and this one's in Chicago, and they're looking for a comedian to come and sort of lighten the load of this thing that kills kids. And I'm like, I'll do it. And I went and did it. I went and did it two different times.

[Kelsey Cook]

Wow.

[Ryan Sickler]

And you just sort of, like, do 10 minutes of whatever but, you know, you're in a generic, like, conference room at, like, a hotel with that ugly carpet and the Flora Silver buffet in the back and the fluorescent. Like, you're on a small stage, maybe this big, but really elevated for no reason. You know what I mean? All bright lights. Nothing in our environment. And you're just sitting there trying to make them.

[Kelsey Cook]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Laugh about something. In the middle of all this, they're like, that's great. All right. And then they go back to something, you know, like, all right, we're gonna raffle some off for people that are about to die here. And you're like, God.

[Kelsey Cook]

God, it's so wild. It's like the things people want us to do where it's like, I understand, but this is, like, a very bleak.

[Ryan Sickler]

Environment, so I haven't had to go speak seriously.

[Kelsey Cook]

Okay.

[Ryan Sickler]

But you did.

[Kelsey Cook]

Yeah. They didn't even. They didn't know I was a comedian when they asked me. They just wanted somebody who was a child of somebody who had ftd, because at the previous fundraiser, they had somebody who was a spouse, and they thought it'd be interesting to hear a child's perspective. And I said, oh, like, yeah, I'm happy to do this. I don't know if you know, but I'm a comedian. And so, like, I. It's interesting. I'm. I'm looking forward to trying to help people in this way, but I have to tell you, I'm, like, very nervous because this is not at all. This is, like, the opposite of what I do. And they're like, no, it'll be great. And so they had two guest speakers. It was me. And then the guy before me is, like, one of the Mayo doctors, FTD doctor. And this guy, his bedside manner is just, like, as dark as it gets. And so he did a, like, 15, 20 minute talk right before I went up about, like, where FTD is at. He's like, there's no cure. I wouldn't recommend getting genetic testing. Because even if you find out, what are you going to do?

[Ryan Sickler]

Well, at least you know what the fuck's happening to you. What do you mean? What are you going to do? You have some awareness of, like, oh, this might be that thing.

[Kelsey Cook]

Yeah, yeah. No, it's like.

[Ryan Sickler]

Which is. I. I mean, look, I. I don't have this. I hope I never get this. I hope you don't either.

[Kelsey Cook]

Thank you.

[Ryan Sickler]

But even if you do have it, like, I guess going into it blind would make me a little more loopy in the head. Like, what the fuck's going on with me. And. But if you know this thing may rear its ugly head at some point, then at least you're like, all right, I'm not crazy. I'm suffering from a disease. I'm not going mental.

[Kelsey Cook]

Right, Right, Yes. They're like, we're doing a Q and A. And so people are like, would you reckon. No, don't. Don't even bother. It's like the most depressing, like, host I would Game conference.

[Ryan Sickler]

Probably got two years shutting them all down.

[Kelsey Cook]

I mean, it was just like. Like, bang, bang, like no hope. No hope? No. Like, every shooting. No hope. It. I'm telling you, it was, like, gutted. It was horrible.

[Ryan Sickler]

And you're going next, by the way.

[Kelsey Cook]

I'm following this guy. He's my opener. He was my opener. I was like, no, because so many of us at this fundraiser, you know, it's. We have family who have the disease, but we're not. Like you said, we're clowns or we're. Whatever. We're. We're. We're probably not in the medical field. So we're looking to this guy. It's like, oh, this is like, this guy's. His life's work. He has answers.

[Ryan Sickler]

You hear the Mayo Clinic.

[Kelsey Cook]

The Mayo Clinic.

[Ryan Sickler]

This motherfucker must be at top of his game. Know what he's doing?

[Kelsey Cook]

And it was. He did a fucking PowerPoint where it was just like, dead.

[Ryan Sickler]

Dead, dead, dead.

[Kelsey Cook]

I was like, what is happening? Like, I looked at Chad, I was like, oh, my God. Like, I don't.

[Ryan Sickler]

You're going up next.

[Kelsey Cook]

I don't want to go up next.

[Ryan Sickler]

It was showing the worst ever.

[Kelsey Cook]

It was.

[Ryan Sickler]

So he said, I don't recommend genetic testing. And you're coming up next too, by the way.

[Kelsey Cook]

Yeah, coming up next. And so anyway, he leaves the room and just. Is just broken. Nobody's saying anything. Very solemn. And I get up, the woman's like, okay, we. Now we got our. Our family member who's here to talk about it.

[Ryan Sickler]

Fun fact. She's actually a comedian. I knew it. I knew it.

[Kelsey Cook]

Kelsey Cook there, you know, some light class. And I don't know, he was still.

[Ryan Sickler]

Registering that they're gonna die like that.

[Kelsey Cook]

They shouldn't even get the testing done.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah, right. They're just.

[Kelsey Cook]

Because why would you want to know if you're gonna die in 10 years? Whatever. It's like, it just. Again, hopeless environment. I was so uncomfortable because it is the anti comedy environment. So I was like, hey, guys, how we doing? Like, so dumb to ask that Everybody's gonna. Not great. Not great. Kelsey, do you talk about. We're talking.

[Ryan Sickler]

That guy just told us there's no hope, man. Shot a bunch of no hopes out here. How you doing?

[Kelsey Cook]

I know. So I say that it's like crickets. I'm like, yeah, okay. This is like, not. This is not a comedy environment. I do my speech and I was so nervous. I was, like, flying through it because you realize as you start talking, you're like. Like, I'm not gonna get any laughter. I'm not gonna hear any sound for 10 minutes. I'm just going to tell the saddest story that's ever been.

[Ryan Sickler]

It feels like a 10 minute bomb.

[Kelsey Cook]

Was so nerve. I felt so wrong. It was so weird. But then at the end, I started to look up and, like, I could see some people crying. And then your brain's like, oh, I'm actually kind of crushing for, like, this interview. I'm like, to see people crying. You're like, oh, I'm actually doing, like, people are connecting to this. But it's so weird.

[Ryan Sickler]

It's like up there, like, are they still crying from what the doctors said.

[Kelsey Cook]

Or am I making an issue or whatever? Exactly. It's like, you don't want to make people cry, of course, but to. It was nice to see people at least, like, feeling what I was saying and connecting to it. And it made me feel less alone when, like, other people are like, oh, yes. I also have been through something like this and all of that. So anyway, I come off stage. I was choked up by the end of it because I've never spoken publicly like that. Like, done a speech about my mom and everything she's gone through. And I come off stage and this old woman comes up to me and goes, that was great, but I just wish you'd been a little funnier.

[Ryan Sickler]

This bitch.

[Kelsey Cook]

This fucking bitch. I was like, I sound like after.

[Ryan Sickler]

Dr. Death went fucking first, I, like.

[Kelsey Cook]

Still had tears in my eyes. I just did the most vulnerable thing I could. And the feedback was like, could have used some laughs. It's like, then fucking come see me in Des Moines or whatever the fuck.

[Ryan Sickler]

It's like, go get your tickets to KelseyCook.com like that.

[Kelsey Cook]

This is not that. And so I just was like, oh, my God. You just like, you can't win. If I had gone out there and just, like, been super jokey, I bet I would have disappointed a lot of people who wanted to have a heartfelt story. That's not really what we're doing here.

[Ryan Sickler]

We don't always have to laugh about everything.

[Kelsey Cook]

Ethel just didn't give her.

[Ryan Sickler]

She roll up or walk up.

[Kelsey Cook]

She walked up.

[Ryan Sickler]

She walked up.

[Kelsey Cook]

Oh, great question. She did walk up, but God. So, yeah, that was interesting.

[Ryan Sickler]

So do you have a contingency plan? Are you, are you future tripping right now? Are you thinking, looking back with the hindsight of what happened with your mom and stuff, what is something or what are some things you can do to help yourself if you get this diagnosis.

[Kelsey Cook]

If I get it and I do have the mutated genes, I think I would probably try to really throw myself into the research end and find out where it could be helpful for me to donate more of like my blood or saliva or whatever to help with research and developing medicine and stuff. Like, just try to be more involved and proactive in that way and then see if there were any, I don't know, like trials of stuff that I could do. I. I don't know.

[Ryan Sickler]

Hacks is back for season four and so is the official Hacks podcast. In each episode, host Bobby Finger and Lindsey Weber will speak with the creators, cast and crew members to unpack the Emmy winning comedy series, hear stories from the set, get a peek into the writers room, and break down the complicated dynamic between Deborah and Ava. You know, I love hacks. We've had Lunel on the show and she is absolutely one of the most funny guests we've had on and she is on Hacks. I've been watching it. I love supporting her. It's a great, funny show. The new season follows Deborah Vance making a move from her Vegas residency to Hollywood showbiz. Tensions rise as Deborah and Ava try to get their late night show off the ground and make history while doing it. I'm a big Max fan. I watch almost everything they put out. I'm deep into White Lotus right now. I love White Lotus. This new season's been fantastic and if you're looking for any more shows to watch, I promise you Hacks is one of them. You can go back and binge, watch and enjoy yourself. Watch Hacks streaming exclusively on Max and listen to the official Hacks podcast on Max or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Kelsey Cook]

I really hope it's like, it's so weird to be sitting here and be like, I could have this and I don't know, I'll know and how fucking.

[Ryan Sickler]

Happy you're gonna be if you don't. You have just one brother.

[Kelsey Cook]

One brother.

[Ryan Sickler]

And he's not even gonna bother.

[Kelsey Cook]

No, I think he would. I think it just depends.

[Ryan Sickler]

He's waiting to see what you have. Yeah, he is.

[Kelsey Cook]

We're probably waiting to see what my mom has to when I talk about it. Because if my mom doesn't have it and I don't have it, I'm sure he would probably feel like, okay, well.

[Ryan Sickler]

This was not genetic, so it might not be. She may not have that.

[Kelsey Cook]

No, I'm sorry.

[Ryan Sickler]

Dementia.

[Kelsey Cook]

But it might not be genetic. It might be sporadic. Yep.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, so it's not always genetic. You did say, oh, so your mom may have just gotten it. Is that right? So the history of your great aunts and stuff is unclear because you're not sure if it was. It's ftd, right?

[Kelsey Cook]

Yeah, we don't know if it's FTD or if it was a different sort of dementia, but it's actually the ftd. All that has been more prevalent in the media in the past, I don't know, two, three years. Because it's what Bruce Willis has.

[Ryan Sickler]

Ah, so that's what it usually takes is some famous person to get the word out there. Like, you know that thing Bruce Willis has? That's what he has. And didn't he go catatonic as well for a minute there? Or at least they said he couldn't communicate.

[Kelsey Cook]

I think he might have been non verbal. I don't know if he still nonverbal. But yeah, there's. There are these different versions within ftd. One of them is called primary progressive aphasia, where you lose your ability to communicate and you also lose your ability to.

[Ryan Sickler]

You're seeing a human like that.

[Kelsey Cook]

Yes.

[Ryan Sickler]

Put to those limits and everything now just reduced to. What is he in a bed, a wheelchair?

[Kelsey Cook]

I don't think so. I think he actually, I saw a think about a thing about him during the LA fires, like going out and meeting firefighters and walking around. So I think he's like mobile and all that stuff, but I don't know. I don't know where he's at with the other things. But yeah, it's.

[Ryan Sickler]

And how does. I mean, you know, you're. You're not just a boyfriend and girlfriend with Chad. You guys live together. You. I said you're married.

[Kelsey Cook]

You do a. Yeah, we feel it's over, bro.

[Ryan Sickler]

It's over. You're wrapped.

[Kelsey Cook]

We've got life insurance. Yeah, it's like, like. Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

So what is it like for him to sit there? Because I, I mean, I would feel helpless just sitting there waiting for you to find out what the this is. And then if you do have it, I also feel helpless because it's coming. And what do we do about that?

[Kelsey Cook]

Yeah, we talked about it. I mean, he's been such an amazing support system through all of this, but he was like this. I mean, goes without saying, but I just want you to hear it. That, like, if you do have the mutated gene, like, nothing changes. You know what I mean? Like, I'm here forever, so it's. Again, that's what I assumed. But there is a part of my brain that was thinking that, like, if I have this, is that fair for me to ask somebody to still be with me forever?

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah.

[Kelsey Cook]

Because you know what they're about to go through. They would become a caregiver. They would. Yeah. It's like. It's so heavy. It is. Your life goes from, like, the person.

[Ryan Sickler]

You love like that also having to, like, wipe your ass.

[Kelsey Cook]

Exactly.

[Ryan Sickler]

Let's be real about it.

[Kelsey Cook]

Of course.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah. See, you also at your lowest and your most vulnerable, and. And the time where you don't want anyone to fucking see you. Like, this isn't who I am. This wasn't what I was. This disease did this to me. And then they watch that.

[Kelsey Cook]

Yeah. Because what it does to the caregivers, like, it absolutely chews you up and spits you out. It, like, emotionally, physically. I was not somebody who dealt with depression before my mom being diagnosed. And in the past four years, I've, like, gotten a depression diagnosis. I've, like, had to be figuring that out because it's not natural for your brain chemistry to be in a state of grieving every day for four years.

[Ryan Sickler]

That's not right. Really? What about for 40? Is 40 normal?

[Kelsey Cook]

Fuck, man.

[Ryan Sickler]

Is that okay? Cause I don't know who the fuck told you that. Way past four years.

[Kelsey Cook]

God.

[Ryan Sickler]

But here's also the ugly thing about that, is that, you know, if I was Chad, I mean, you've got the ugly hindsight of what he's about. Like, you're going to be able to educate him about. Like, this is hard. This sucked. This, this, this.

[Kelsey Cook]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oof. And listen, we're staying positive, you know?

[Kelsey Cook]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

I feel good about it.

[Kelsey Cook]

I could.

[Ryan Sickler]

Will you please text me?

[Kelsey Cook]

Of course. Yeah. I'll text you when I find out. And it's like, we might look back on this episode and be like, oh, my gosh, it was so wild to, like, go down all these paths, and I don't have it, but I don't. I don't know yet.

[Ryan Sickler]

Well, how long? How much longer?

[Kelsey Cook]

They had initially said, like, four weeks, and then the email said eight weeks and I was like. Because I saw something.

[Ryan Sickler]

Is it blood and saliva?

[Kelsey Cook]

It's just something. Saliva.

[Ryan Sickler]

Saliva.

[Kelsey Cook]

Yeah. Yeah. So I'll keep you posted. But it's weird. And it's like, my special came out yesterday. It's like, there are these other big, really great things happening, and then also, like, the darkest, scariest shit. So it's weird. Yeah, It's a weird dichotomy.

[Ryan Sickler]

But, yeah, we're gonna stay positive.

[Kelsey Cook]

Thank you.

[Ryan Sickler]

So you and your brother don't have it, and hopefully you said he has kids.

[Kelsey Cook]

Yeah, my two nieces, who I love so much. They're. I mean, they're. Chad and I don't have kids, and so I kind of feel like my nieces are as close to kids as I'll get, But.

[Ryan Sickler]

And that's what I wanted to ask. And you don't have to answer this either. I asked you because you're still young. Do you want to have kids? I know Chad has older and has grown kids.

[Kelsey Cook]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

But did you ever want kids? Do you want kids? And if so, are you terrified that you might pass this fucking thing on?

[Kelsey Cook]

Yeah, I was never. I wasn't one of those people growing up where I was like, I for sure want kids. Like, I have friends who. They knew they were gonna do that. It was without question. I was always more, I think, like, excited, like, career focused, and just kind of thought, ah, if I have kids, I. Because my mom had me when she was 36 and my brother when she was 42. So she waited.

[Ryan Sickler]

She really did.

[Kelsey Cook]

And she was kind of my template of, like, if I have kids, I want to feel like I'm not compromising being a good mom. I want to feel like I did the things I wanted to do in my career and then add that. But anyway, now that I am. I'm about to be 36, which is how old my mom was when she had me. And Chad is not only older than me, but has his own kids, like you said. So he and I have had conversations where it's like, oh, you know, if we had met at a different time and if life was different, I'm sure we would have wanted to have kids together. But now, given our age, given our circumstances, it just feels like not. I don't think it would give us the life that we want to have. Like, we really love our life together. And he has a hilarious joke in his Netflix special where he, like, his daughter's in college now. Like, he just crossed that finish line of raising his children to be out.

[Ryan Sickler]

Of the woods, out of the woods.

[Kelsey Cook]

And he's like, if I had a kid now, it would be like being in prison and my last day going into the yard and stabbing somebody. Yeah. Just killing it and just being like, get back in there another fucking 18 years. So I think about that too. Where he had kids young, has spent the majority of his adult life raising them, and now he gets to, like, experience more of that freedom of, like, oh, I can travel, I can do whatever and not have to worry about, okay. Are they okay at home? So I kind of want to give him that too. And I think for kids, it's like, if it's not a fuck yes, it's a no. And it's never been, like, a true fuck yes for me. It's been like, yeah. There are times where I think that sounds nice, but I think you have to have a way stronger feeling about it.

[Ryan Sickler]

So you have adult step kids?

[Kelsey Cook]

I do.

[Ryan Sickler]

And how's that?

[Kelsey Cook]

It's great. I can't remember if I talked about it on here last time, but I mentioned it in my special. So his daughter is about to be 21. And, you know, that's kind of like an interesting age spread, right? She's 21. I'm 35. And she had started following me on Instagram when Chad and I got together. But I wasn't really thinking about. You know, it's like, my job is to post, like, my jokes and stuff.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah. Talking about banging her dad. Yeah. You know what I mean? I'm sitting here thinking about that.

[Kelsey Cook]

Yeah. I had that joke from my previous special about him having a vasectomy and me, like, not knowing what that woman was like. Is it gonna be clear? Like, the white Gatorade flavor? Like, does it taste better when there aren't kids in it? I'm, like, saying all this wild. And I posted that joke. And then she texted Chad that night and was like, just so you know, I for sure unfollowed your girlfriend today.

[Ryan Sickler]

And I was like, well, unfollow.

[Kelsey Cook]

She did kind of stepmom of the year over here. But, yeah, my friends, they were really, like, right when we started dating, they're like, she's gonna love you. She's gonna think you're so cool. And I was like, like, oh, you mean after watching me talk about blowing her dad? Like, yeah, I bet she's gonna think I'm the best.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah.

[Kelsey Cook]

Like, no, it's. It's a weird dynamic. So are you better? Like, well, she. I mean, she doesn't see my stuff anymore. I can't Not. I have to do my job, but.

[Ryan Sickler]

When you see each other in person, everything's fine.

[Kelsey Cook]

Oh, yeah. I'm not like, blew your day. I'm not gonna.

[Ryan Sickler]

You're not doing that.

[Kelsey Cook]

Obviously not doing.

[Ryan Sickler]

But I mean, she doesn't resent you or, like, she's cordial and things are cool is what I mean. She's not like, standoff, is she? Just like, I'm not watching that.

[Kelsey Cook]

No. Yeah. Which, by the way, I completely understand if my. Even when I see my dad and st. On kiss, I'm like, look at that.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah.

[Kelsey Cook]

Like, if I heard her talking about bullying my dad, I would. I would try to, like, cut her tongue out or something. I would, like, be a crazy. I'd go Handmaid's Tale on.

[Ryan Sickler]

What about his ex? Are we allowed to talk about that?

[Kelsey Cook]

His ex? Whose ex?

[Ryan Sickler]

Chad's.

[Kelsey Cook]

Oh, his. His ex wife.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah.

[Kelsey Cook]

Oh, they're very cordial.

[Ryan Sickler]

But are you guys. Do you get along?

[Kelsey Cook]

We met.

[Ryan Sickler]

You really don't have to have any interactions. The kids are grown, huh?

[Kelsey Cook]

Yeah. I met her at his son's wedding, and we were.

[Ryan Sickler]

How old is his son?

[Kelsey Cook]

25.

[Ryan Sickler]

25 and 21. Wow.

[Kelsey Cook]

Yeah. And we record you. It's like they've been divorced for a very long time. They co parent really well, so that's not really a thing. But yeah, his daughter is very warm toward me where everything is great. I just, you know, she learned, like, okay, this is not somebody whose material I want to see, because some of it's about my dad, and I completely get that. So we just. We navigate it.

[Ryan Sickler]

Take that feed here. Not interested.

[Kelsey Cook]

Not interested. Don't want to hear about my dad's dick. Great. Thank you.

[Ryan Sickler]

So, yeah, let me ask you this, and we can wrap up on this here. Like, what advice do you have for people who. Who, let's say, do know their loved one has this or are just going through, not just specifically what you may have, but dementia in general. What advice do you have?

[Kelsey Cook]

Yeah, first of all, if you're going through it or have a family member, I'm so sorry. I. And I just. It's hard for me to think of, like, a more cruel disease than watching somebody go through this and watching their family go through it. Right. It's so painful for everybody. The AFTD is a really great resource. I believe it's the aftd.org that's how I got connected to a support group. And so I do, like, a zoom support group with people in Minnesota. I. There also was such an incredible but also truly Gut wrenching article that came out a few months ago in the New York Times of. I believe I want to say Lyndy Jacobs. I hope I'm getting her last name right. She lost her mom to ftd. She did the testing, found out that she and her two sisters have ftd. And so now the three of them are trying to do what they can to, you know, get any sort of early medicine. If you can look up those sort of stories, then you can reach out to those people. Like, now I'm connected with Lindy and she and I were able to talk. I think just the less alone you can feel, the better because it's a very isolating experience. Like one of the FTD symptoms is sometimes they want to put. But like they want to think things are food that aren't. So a lot of times.

[Ryan Sickler]

Is that right?

[Kelsey Cook]

Yeah, a lot of times when I'm.

[Ryan Sickler]

Things that aren't food.

[Kelsey Cook]

Yeah. When I'm talking to my mom, she'll like start to try to eat her teddy bear and I'll be like, hey, like, remember, that's your teddy bear, so let's not eat that. Like, though that has become a normal conversation for me with my mom, but that's not. Nor like it's traumatizing. Like, it's traumatizing to watch your mom be this way that you've never a seen like a person be able to own. Your mom is like now a completely different person. So I think just knowing more people that are going through these very specific things that are. Yeah, it's just devastating. So connecting can feel better.

[Ryan Sickler]

I think this zoom meeting you do, how did you find that? Like, how did you.

[Kelsey Cook]

On the AFTD website, there's a link for like per state support groups and like the leader of that. And then you can just contact them and they'll send you.

[Ryan Sickler]

Has it been helpful?

[Kelsey Cook]

It has. You know, they're. They're a really sweet group of people. I don't attend as much as I used to because they're all older than me. It's people whose like spouse has it or maybe they're much older parent and they're older. And so I was feeling like I wish I knew more people my age who are experiencing this. So again, they're very sweet. It just was like sometimes I didn't really feel like I was having that sort of connection of being on the same page. But yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Have you been able to have a conversation with your mom about what happens when she passes? Is there a living will and trust? Is she already Taking care of what she wants you to do. Or is that just all in?

[Kelsey Cook]

Yeah, we knew she had told us a long time ago, like, what her wishes were for, like her ashes and stuff like that. But. But I don't. I don't know if she did a will. It's so. The whole system is so fucked where, like, she's like, all. All her money is gone. All the money she worked so hard for as a teacher because of medical bills.

[Ryan Sickler]

So what happened? Yeah, that's another. So what do they just.

[Kelsey Cook]

They just bleed you dry.

[Ryan Sickler]

They just connect to your bank account and just take it while you're staying there every fucking day.

[Kelsey Cook]

It's so. To take care of a human full time is so expensive.

[Ryan Sickler]

I mean, I know what. It's what they charged. My insurance was over half a million for three weeks in the hospital. Yeah. I can't imagine what it is for day after day after day. And what happens when you run out.

[Kelsey Cook]

Then you go into Medicaid and then it pulls, you know, then you're covered in that way. But you. There's. Everything you've worked for is gone.

[Ryan Sickler]

Gone. You have no spending money. You have no little. I want to buy myself nothing. God.

[Kelsey Cook]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

It just wrecks you everywhere.

[Kelsey Cook]

It's. Yeah, it's the worst. So I don't really know Will Wise, but I. She's been on hospice enough times that, like, I have had those conversations with her many times. Honestly, every phone call I have with her does feel like, so much pressure. Like, I always want them to go as perfectly as they can because you just never know.

[Ryan Sickler]

But, like, are you scared each call.

[Kelsey Cook]

Could be the last every time?

[Ryan Sickler]

Are you.

[Kelsey Cook]

And that's what I was saying. Like, to live like that for four years is not normal. So it's weird. It's like sometimes when people lose somebody, it's sudden and it's horrible and they have to do that grief process probably their whole life. This is also so horrible in a different way where, like. Like you said, they're there, but they're not. And every day you don't know how much more time you have. And so I just. I let my mom know how much I love her every single time I talk to her. Like, it's. I don't even care if I'm annoying her with it. I let her know so many times on a phone call just how much I love her, how excited I am to see her, all this stuff.

[Ryan Sickler]

Can I ask this last question? This genetic test you did, how do they know now you know what I'm saying. What comes back to say it is specifically this. If they're so. If they didn't even diagnose your mom properly. You know what I mean?

[Kelsey Cook]

Right.

[Ryan Sickler]

Like, are you worried that they could be like, nah. And then you get.

[Kelsey Cook]

You know, I am. Because this test is testing. I think it's like one of four major gene mutations. But even if you get a no to those ones, there's apparently another test that you could take that finds even more rare mutations that have shown up for people who get ftd. And so it's like, I have told myself that, too. It's hard. Even if I get a no, I don't think that that worry is fully going to go away because it's just like. It's not.

[Ryan Sickler]

No. But also, hopefully in the next 20 years, there's severe medical advancement.

[Kelsey Cook]

Yes.

[Ryan Sickler]

Everything going on in medicine and Kelsey Cook, I. I'm gonna stay positive for you.

[Kelsey Cook]

Thank you.

[Ryan Sickler]

You're gonna get good results coming back. You better let us know.

[Kelsey Cook]

I will. I really will text you. I promise. Promise.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah. And please, congrats again on your special. Promote everything you'd like one more time, please, guys.

[Kelsey Cook]

Yes. My special mark your territory is on YouTube and Hulu. I have, like, the whole last chunk of it is talking about my mom and her dementia and, like, highlighting some of the low lights. Like, remember when I was on and we talked about people not believing that she was a pro foosball player in the home and being like, sure you are. And I'm like, I swear to God.

[Ryan Sickler]

Like, I show them hall of Famer.

[Kelsey Cook]

Yeah, Yeah. I talk about that in the special. So anyway, it's very much. I think that chunk is, like, highlighting the low lights and that special. So please go watch my special. My podcast, pretend Problems, is with my boyfriend Chad. New episodes every week you can watch on YouTube or wherever you download. And I'm on tour, so. Kelseycook.com for tickets and elseicookcomedy on social media.

[Ryan Sickler]

Thank you.

[Kelsey Cook]

Thank you.

[Ryan Sickler]

Best of luck, girl.

[Kelsey Cook]

Thank you. Thanks for having me.

[Ryan Sickler]

You're welcome. As always, Ryan Sickler on all social media. Ryan. RyanCickler.com we'll talk to you all next week.