337: Trae Crowder and His Pillbilly Background

Summary

Podcast Summary: Episode 338 – Trae Crowder and His Pillbilly Background

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Introduction of the Guest

In Episode 338 of The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler, comedian Ryan Sickler welcomes his friend and fellow comedian, Trae Crowder, for an in-depth conversation about Trae's upbringing, family struggles, and personal journey through addiction.

Ryan Sickler [01:14]: "We're highlighting the low lights. And I always say, these are the stories behind the storytellers."

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Trae’s Early Life in Salina, Tennessee

Trae Crowder hails from Salina, a small, rural town in Clay County, Tennessee. Salina is characterized by its tight-knit community, lack of modern amenities, and a proud yet controversial claim of hosting the world record smallmouth bass.

Trae Crowder [05:04]: "Salina, Tennessee. It's in Clay County. It's two hours from any city you've ever heard of. There's no traffic lights, there's no McDonald's..."

Trae describes Salina as a quintessential southern town with deep-rooted traditions and longstanding family ties. His family has been in Salina for generations, making them an integral part of the community fabric.

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Family, Community, and Economic Challenges

Trae elaborates on the economic downturn in Salina following the closure of the Oshkosh B'Gosh factory in the mid-90s, a significant employer in the town. The factory's relocation to Mexico under NAFTA had a profound impact on the community, leading to widespread unemployment and economic instability.

Trae Crowder [13:43]: "They actually moved those operations to Mexico. At the time of its height, how much of the town would you say was employed by that one factory?"

The loss of the factory coincided with the rise of the opiate epidemic in the region, exacerbating the town's struggles. Trae recounts how the availability of prescription painkillers like Percocet and Oxycontin devastated many families, including his own.

Trae Crowder [14:53]: "Right when that happened, Percocet and Oxycontin came into rural America... It was the epicenter of where that whole thing started."

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Personal Struggles with Addiction

Trae shares his personal battle with opioid addiction, rooted in his family's environment. His mother, struggling with addiction herself, was arrested multiple times for selling pills, creating a chaotic and unstable home life.

Trae Crowder [15:46]: "My mom was hooked on pills and was in jail when I graduated high school because she was selling pills."

Trae's cousin also fell victim to the addiction crisis, passing away from an overdose, which deeply affected Trae and reinforced his awareness of the dangers of opioid misuse.

Trae Crowder [19:05]: "My aunt's oldest son, my first cousin, who was like my older brother growing up, he OD'd and died."

Reflecting on his own experiences, Trae discusses how easily he almost succumbed to addiction after being prescribed painkillers for a tooth extraction, highlighting the addictive nature of opioids even when prescribed legitimately.

Trae Crowder [24:40]: "They gave me way more pills than I needed, but I got that worked out. And by the time it was resolved, I just kept taking them."

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Family Dynamics and Support Systems

Despite the turmoil, Trae credits his father as the cornerstone of his resilience. His father, a passionate gearhead and dedicated family man, provided stability and unconditional support, contrasting sharply with his mother's struggles.

Trae Crowder [31:08]: "My dad was the hero and savior. Everybody loved him... he's the reason we turned out relatively okay."

Trae emphasizes the importance of his father's mentorship and loving nature, which played a crucial role in steering him away from the path of addiction that ensnared many in his community.

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Parenting and Breaking the Cycle

Now a father himself, Trae is committed to creating a nurturing and stable environment for his children, learning from his own upbringing. He strives to be present and supportive, ensuring his sons are aware of their family's history but also strengthening their resilience against similar struggles.

Trae Crowder [53:50]: "I'm open with them about the past and the history of it there. I used to wonder if I was telling them too young, but now they understand."

Trae discusses his approach to parenting, balancing transparency about his family's challenges with fostering a sense of safety and love for his children.

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Current Life and Reflections

Trae reflects on his journey from a troubled youth in Salina to a successful comedian and advocate against addiction. He acknowledges the role his past has played in shaping his humor and storytelling, using his platform to shed light on serious issues while entertaining his audience.

Trae Crowder [61:23]: "I would just tell 16-year-old me, buckle up. But hang in there. You've got the right idea."

Trae's story is one of overcoming adversity, highlighting the importance of family support, personal resilience, and the impact of economic and social challenges on individual lives.

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Conclusion

In this heartfelt episode, Trae Crowder opens up about his "pillbilly" background, detailing the intersection of family, community, and addiction that defined his early years. Through his candid storytelling, he offers valuable insights into overcoming personal demons and breaking free from destructive cycles, all while maintaining a sense of humor and hope.

Notable Quotes:

• Ryan Sickler [03:44]: "This is long overdue."
• Trae Crowder [05:34]: "Small town, redneck. I don't know why it's that stuck, but..."
• Trae Crowder [24:08]: "I had no idea that liquid could have calories in it. I had no idea that drinks could make you fat."
• Trae Crowder [53:48]: "I have empathy now, but when I was younger I was hardcore like that."
• Ryan Sickler [55:44]: "I'm going to tell her the truth."

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Final Thoughts

This episode offers a profound look into the life of Trae Crowder, providing listeners with a deeper understanding of the complexities surrounding addiction in rural America. It serves as both an entertaining and enlightening narrative, reflecting the resilience of the human spirit in the face of overwhelming challenges.

Transcript

[Trey Crowder]

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[Ryan Sickler]

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[Trey Crowder]

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[Ryan Sickler]

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[Trey Crowder]

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[Ryan Sickler]

That's join mo c h I.com Baltimore I'm coming home. We're going to wrap the live and a live tour up Saturday, June 28th at the Horseshoe Casino. It's going to be a great night. I got Justin Schlegel from 98 Rock going to be out there with me. We're going to have some surprises. It's going to be a really big deal. Get your tickets now@ryan sickler.com what's up, guys? Thank you for supporting the Patreon. We promised you guys some bonus content. We wanted to get you involved on the new tier. And after the Chelsea Lynn haircut thing, we were laughing so damn hard.

[Trey Crowder]

Oh God.

[Ryan Sickler]

Okay, hold on. That's you.

[Trey Crowder]

Where the did you get this?

[Ryan Sickler]

This is my Chris Farley era person and I started talking about it and we were like, why don't we ask people to sending their worst haircuts And I'm not gonna leave you alone. All right, I got two of them for you. How about this one and this one? There you go. Those are mine. We'll clown them on the show. But submit your bad haircuts or your worst haircuts to the waybackpodmail.com that's the waybackpodmail.com Send your name and any information you have, what year it's from, where you're from at the time, whatever. We'll show pictures. We'll have fun making fun of all our worst haircuts. The Honeydew with Ryan Sickler. Welcome back to the Honeydew, y' all. We're over here doing it in the night Pan Studios. I'm Ryan Sickler. Thank you guys for supporting this show. Not just this show. Anything I do, I don't care if it's sharing a clip or telling somebody about the show. Thank you for supporting me. And if you have to have more, then I tell you every week, you gotta have the Patreon. It's five bucks. Since the day it started, it's still five bucks. And it is this show with y' all. And y' all have the craziest stories, all on the Internet. I promise you it's the best show on Patreon. Five bucks a month. All right? And you already have hundreds of stories there to check out. All right, that's the biz. You guys know what we're doing here? We're highlighting the low lights. And I always say, these are the stories behind the storytellers. And I am very excited to have this guest here. First time on the Honeydew. Ladies and gentlemen, Trey Crowder. Welcome to the Honeydew. Trey Crowder.

[Trey Crowder]

I am thrilled to be. Thrilled and honored to be here.

[Ryan Sickler]

That's very kind.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah, I'm a fan.

[Ryan Sickler]

This is long overdue.

[Trey Crowder]

For real? Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Thank you for being here. Before we get into your whole story, plug it all, brother. Anything you like. You got a special. Tell everybody.

[Trey Crowder]

My most recent special is available on YouTube now called Trash Daddy. And you can. Other than that, you know, all the socials. It's just my name, T R A E Crowder, and it's Trey Crowder.com for tour dates. I am perpetually touring. And then other than that, I got a couple podcasts. One of them's called Putting on Airs, where me and another hillbilly dip talk about fancy stuff, fancy people and fancy stuff.

[Ryan Sickler]

Like, give me an example what hillbillies think fancy stuff is.

[Trey Crowder]

Well, everything from, like, legitimate fancy stuff, like Marie Antoinette and, like, super yachts, you know, to like the little, like that crumb scraper thing that they had. Yeah, that's super fancy, right? Yeah, right. But it's the type of thing that, like, the first time I saw that we all get one, I was like, what the. It blew my mind. I've never seen no shit like that before. But we divert into all kinds of other stuff, too, but just we get a kind of a loose, you know, loose parameters of the show. But, yeah, talking about fancy. So putting on. There's Trash Daddy, tricrowder.com. that's the main things.

[Ryan Sickler]

All right, let's dive into your story. So originally, you're from Tennessee, in a small town Called what?

[Trey Crowder]

Salina.

[Ryan Sickler]

Salina.

[Trey Crowder]

It's. If I showed it to you written down, you would almost certainly pronounce it Selena.

[Ryan Sickler]

Okay.

[Trey Crowder]

Almost everybody does. In fact, we are probably the ones who say it wrong. I imagine everyone else is probably right, but since it's one asshole. Yeah. But since it's, you know, we're the ones that live there, we can, we don't have to. But anyway. Salina, Tennessee. It's in Clay County. It's two hours from any city you've ever heard of. There's no traffic lights, there's no. McDonald's is the home of the world record smallmouth bass, by the way.

[Dennis Black]

Is that right?

[Ryan Sickler]

What's the, what's, what was it.

[Trey Crowder]

It was like 5 pounds, 8 ounces or something like that. Smallmouth bass.

[Ryan Sickler]

I know. I'm surprised. I know. Smallmouth got the horizontal stripes.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Is that right? Vertical on the large mouth, horizontal on the small mouth.

[Trey Crowder]

I'm not gonna lie to you. I'm gonna get disowned for this. But I don't even remember. It's been too long. And I grew up. That's a big fishing lake. And I grew up fishing there, and I don't even.

[Ryan Sickler]

I'm about to look it up. I, I, There's. It's not just the mouth. I know that.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah, well, I mean, they are. It's a small and large. Applies not just to the mouth, but the entire fish. I guess as the mouth goes, so goes the rest of the fish. I'm not a fish doctor, so that.

[Ryan Sickler]

Is there a sign that tells you at the lake?

[Trey Crowder]

Well, actually, it's. We're not. Actually, I don't think we are anymore, but everybody, we all still just say that, but on the way into. Not the lake, like, when you drive into the. To Clay. Welcome to Clay county, home of the world record smallmouth bass. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, there's not any. There's nothing else. And then, like. And then as you get closer to the town, there's also, like, welcome to Salana, home of the. I swear. This is also a sign. Welcome to Salon at home of the 1992 and 93 national marbles champion.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah, you gotta, it's back to back. You gotta celebrate that, you know?

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah. Yeah. But what's funny about the fish thing is that it was weird because it's like it was on the sign in town and people were proud of it. But also there was all this controversy about it that I think because this out of towner, or perhaps even a Yankee was like, came There and caught that fish. And so there were a lot of people in town who always said that that record was illegitimate, that he like cheated. He like Wade dropped a bunch of like nuts and bolts.

[Ryan Sickler]

I grew up with my dad watching Orlando Wilson and what's his name, Is it Jimmy Houston?

[Trey Crowder]

There was a dude. What's up? I remember the guy. Bill, He's a balls Bill. Dance Bill, dance with the Tennessee. With the Tennessee. Yes. Yeah, but I don't. I probably got that number earlier wrong too. But there was always disputed there and. But so it was like kind of like with a lot of things in the south is like there was both pride and shame about it, depending on who you talk to. But anyway, it was a very, very, very still is rural part of Tennessee and country as hell, but was like a nice cozy, quaint little southern town when I was like a small child.

[Ryan Sickler]

Now is this a place where your parents were born and raised or did they move here to raise your family? Like are they from Knoxville or Nashville moved?

[Trey Crowder]

No, my whole, my like dad's family. My dad's dad's like for generations was, had been there had been the same place. Yeah, I was like third generation to graduate from Salina High School. Only reason I wasn't 4th or 5th is because before that they didn't go to high school or graduation. You know, my grandpa.

[Ryan Sickler]

Middle school. You're like the sixth generation high school.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah, yeah, we've been there for a long time. So I mean, yeah, my. I mean if ancestry.com and all that bullshit is to be believed, my sons are the first generation of my family to have not grown up in the south in Tennessee and Kentucky basically for like hundreds of years. Is that right? Well, ever, ever when I felt ancestor first came over from England, it was to Virginia and it's been below the Mason Dixon line ever since for us until now. My sons are growing up in godless California, but you know.

[Ryan Sickler]

And that's your dad's people.

[Trey Crowder]

Yes.

[Ryan Sickler]

And what about mom? She also from that town?

[Trey Crowder]

Well, I know her, my mom's mom and her parents and all them are all also from there. So for at least two or three generations they were there. My mom's dad was a long haul truck driver and he was, he was from like he was originally from Texas, but he had like a whole other family in Indiana and shit. And then, you know, I mean he was very much a truck, you know, like a hard, hard living whore banging truck driver.

[Ryan Sickler]

Fair enough.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah. I mean I loved it. I thought he was awesome, you know. But so he. What, he. Bit of a racking tour and a vagabond truck.

[Ryan Sickler]

Did he drive? I mean, remember Mac or.

[Trey Crowder]

No, I was too young.

[Ryan Sickler]

I mean, own it or was he just a hired gun and going out and.

[Trey Crowder]

Again, I don't know. I used to ride around with him in it and like the. The bed in the back of it and all that stuff. And I always thought it was so cool, but I mean, I was a kid at the time, so I don't know the. I don't remember. I know what you're asking. So I know that it's like there's owner operators and there's contractor and all that. I don't know how it worked with him. I just know that it was long haul. It was over the road. Like he went out for, you know, multiple days or weeks at a time and would come back. Yeah, then my other grandpa owned on the car lot. He had like, built and raised stock cars in the 50s and 60s and shit. He had all these trophies in his basement and stuff. And my dad, his son ran the video store in town, Crowder's Video. So I grew up in that. I grew up in like a 90s video store, so that part was pretty cool.

[Ryan Sickler]

We talked outside. You said, where. Where was the video store?

[Trey Crowder]

It was in the. It was in a converted single wide trailer. They put like wooden letters on the outside painted white. Just said Crowders on it.

[Ryan Sickler]

And where would he. Like back in the day? Like that. Yeah, where he getting the supply for the. That goes in his trail, the cassette.

[Trey Crowder]

So he had a few different places. There were definitely some dudes who. First of all, there used to be like a catalog that was like the official. I guess it came from the studios or some kind of third party, but it was like the official way to get them. There was a catalog. You could order cassettes of all the new releases from. And they were like, very expensive because, you know, you buy them for whatever $100 or whatever back then, then you rent them, even new releases for $2. 2. So you got to get them out so many times to make your money back. He did that. But he also. There was. In a somewhat larger nearby town, there was a larger video store that he had. He would go and get like some older shit from them to fill up the. The back catalog or inventory, whatever. And there were definitely. I was just thinking about this recently, some dudes, like, with trunks full of new releases. Yeah, right. Dudes would come by on, like. Right. Would stop by and he'd go out in the parking lot and they'd pop the trunk and he'd get. You know, I'll say this. They didn't. They were not obvious. It wasn't like somebody holding a camcorder in a. In a movie theater. Bootleg. Like they looked legit like on your tv, but they definitely were not legit. I guess they were legit tapes that the dude was sourcing illegitimate layers. But there was definitely something shady about it.

[Ryan Sickler]

Some. Some copies from a Blockbuster one or something.

[Trey Crowder]

Yes. And he did. He definitely did a lot of that too. And also there was a. There was a curtained room in the very back that kept the lights on in that place. Even with all the Baptists and. Well, especially with all the Baptists in town. Yeah, yeah. The porno with the big. The big thick boxes. Remember those? You didn't bring the boxes to the front. The boxes had a little like paper tag underneath them that you pulled off the wall and carried that up front.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, is that how you did it?

[Trey Crowder]

So that way you're not walking through.

[Ryan Sickler]

The store with a phone book size video case.

[Trey Crowder]

Backyard sluts nine or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, yeah, so that was all really cool. I loved all that shit. And then. But this was all supported by the main job center in town was an oshkosh B' Gosh factory. Yeah, the cute little overalls and shit. And then in 1996, I think it was when it finally. Maybe 97. 96, 97. By the time it all went through. And they let that factory left after NAFTA moved to Mexico. Right. And I know sometimes people say it's like all the jobs went to Mexico and it's not really true, but in this particular instance, like that factory literally went to Mexico.

[Ryan Sickler]

So they didn't just close, they actually did.

[Trey Crowder]

They actually moved those operations to Mexico.

[Ryan Sickler]

Say at the time of its height. How much of the town would you. Of Salinas, I think.

[Trey Crowder]

Wait, Salina.

[Ryan Sickler]

Excuse me. Salina.

[Trey Crowder]

Salina.

[Ryan Sickler]

Salinas is Northern California. Salina. Were employed by that one.

[Trey Crowder]

I think I want to say it was like 250 or 300 people I think in the town. In a population of like 800, you know, that's so like border of the town. I know, right. And I'm saying, and all those people, they ate lunch at my grandma's diner and they rented movies at my dad's place and all. And that's. It all kind of fell on that factory and it left. And I always say like at the exact same time another huge thing happened. The the job showed, the jobs left forever, and the pills showed up for good at the same exact time in the mid-90s. Because right when that happened, Percocet and Oxycontin and all that came into rural America. Especially, like, we're in the foothills of Appalachian Mountains. This is like, the epicenter of where that whole thing started. I mean, West Virginia, deep in the app. Coal country is where it, like, started. But we're not far from coal country. Like, we were the opiate. Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Really cold country.

[Trey Crowder]

Yes. It was very targeted.

[Ryan Sickler]

Where? West Virginia?

[Trey Crowder]

West Virginia, South, Southeast Kentucky.

[Ryan Sickler]

Why there? Because that really started prescribing. There's a lot of miners.

[Trey Crowder]

Yes. A lot of people in pain there. Yeah. A lot of people that are, like, not know this desperate and don't have a lot going on. It was a very concerted thing. I mean, that's why they got in all that trouble. Find finally, after years and years, the big pharma companies, because, like, it was proven that, like, it was a very concerted effort on their part to, like, roll it out in places that people would be susceptible to it. And they also. They lied to the doctors who then lied to the people. Like, people were being told by their.

[Ryan Sickler]

Doctors it wasn't addictive.

[Trey Crowder]

It's a miracle drug. Like, you've got pain from manual labor. Well, you could take this with no repercussions. It's not addictive. You'll be fine. If your doct tells you that. What the hell are you supposed to think? And then we all know now, you know, you end up toothless and sucking dick under overpasses. But they didn't know. But they didn't know that.

[Ryan Sickler]

Paid free, though. Paid free, bro.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah, this is a good point. I mean, they are, you know, my knees feel good. Yeah. Yeah. But like, all that, that. The confluence of those things happening in my town just like, I mean, wrecked it like my within. By the time I graduated, I was like 10, 11 at that time. By the time I graduated high school, seven, eight years later, like, all my family's businesses were closed. My mom was hooked on pills and was in jail, I think, when I graduated high school, because she didn't. What? Wasn't just doing them, she was selling them, too. She was selling pills.

[Ryan Sickler]

How old are you when your mom gets arrested and goes to jail?

[Trey Crowder]

The first time, I was, like, high school age. She went to jail a few times.

[Ryan Sickler]

Okay.

[Trey Crowder]

What?

[Ryan Sickler]

The first time? Always pills. Was it always for that?

[Trey Crowder]

Always selling pills? Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

So who's catching her? Is it just such a Small town. It's like local cops.

[Trey Crowder]

She wasn't the most. She wasn't exactly a like kingpin or queen pan or nothing. You know, she wasn't even used here.

[Ryan Sickler]

And there or got her arrested though.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah, I mean, yeah, like. Yeah, I mean it was just her. She had. Because they were giving the out like candy. So my understanding of her operation as I've gotten older talking to her and looking back on it, is that, you know, allegedly all this. Well actually, I guess not. She was convicted, I think of all of it. But anyway, so not. Not allegedly. Anyway, anyway. Yeah, right. Yeah, you find the newspaper. But she had some. A collection of old ladies who she sold pills for. She didn't steal them. They knew she was doing it because like I said, they were giving these pills out like candy. She found a bunch of old people who way more than they needed or.

[Ryan Sickler]

Used or wanted seniors. That was like, you know what?

[Trey Crowder]

I don't need all these you. And she would like I can get well, I'll give you this much for them and then she'd sell them for that much or whatever. And it's like so. But still it was a pretty. Pretty ranky dank operation. You know, it's just. I don't know the actual numbers or anything. But again, she wasn't moving serious weight but she was pretty brazen with it and everything and like definitely the type to tell a cop to kiss her ass, you know, and that type of. So, you know, I'm not surprised that she got caught. But her and my dad were already divorced actually before any of that even happened. But still she was working at the factory and everything was cool and all that. But then, yeah, then everything just went to. In the town and in my family.

[Ryan Sickler]

Was employed at osh.

[Trey Crowder]

Yes, yes. And in fact the story that she tells. And I mean, you know, I shouldn't say it that way. I'm sure it's what happened. You know, there's obviously some history here with. She says a lot of things, but I believe this is probably true that she hurt her back while working at that factory in the year or so before it closed or whatever. And she went to a doctor after hurting her back working at the factory who prescribed her oxys and said to her all the shit that, you know, we said earlier and then that was the beginning of it for her and then it turned into a 15, 20 year thing. But it wasn't just her.

[Ryan Sickler]

That's what I want to ask anyone else in your family.

[Trey Crowder]

Oh yeah, her sister, my aunt got into it real bad. She died.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, she died.

[Trey Crowder]

My aunt's oldest son, my first cousin who was like my older brother growing up, he OD'd and died.

[Ryan Sickler]

He died.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Can I ask you, is this fentanyl?

[Trey Crowder]

Are they really back then when all this is happening? This is pre fentanyl. It's. It's literally oxy. Yes, yes.

[Ryan Sickler]

See, because I have a problem with these people that say, well, they overdosed on fentanyl. It's like, no, no, they were poisoned. This person set out to do cocaine. Regardless of the choice, they set out to do this drug and in that drug is poison that has killed them. That to me is not an overdose.

[Trey Crowder]

Yes.

[Ryan Sickler]

You know what I mean? I feel sorry for people also.

[Trey Crowder]

No. I have a good friend who that happened to too in the past year, and that was awful. In a totally different situation. All these people I'm naming, this is like childhood teenage years for me. This is like a long time ago. So back then it was. It was literally ODing on. Yeah, Percocets and oxys and that type of.

[Ryan Sickler]

How old was your cousin?

[Trey Crowder]

You said he was five years older than me and he died, so he was probably. I think I was like 22 when he OD'd and died. So he was like 27ish or something.

[Ryan Sickler]

And you're close.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah, we were, yeah. He's the reason I'm a Raiders fan, so I'll never forgive him for that, but you should have let that die. Yeah, yeah, I know, you're right. I know. I don't know why it's that stuck, but, man.

[Ryan Sickler]

Is that you up?

[Trey Crowder]

Which part? What? Him dying.

[Ryan Sickler]

Him. Not only that. Like, is this we. Because I've mentioned outside we have the. In our family at a paranoid schizophrenic cousin. And yeah, my dad would tell us all the time, like, this dude, it was a black belt. He was athletic as. He was great at lacrosse. He had offers from Syracuse. He had. And then he just got into drugs and it unlocked some in his brain and poof. He's crazy. And we had sort of a built in just say no to drugs campaign in the family, so I never around with any of that shit. Even still, I'm still weeding shrooms. I don't. Yeah, never with coke. Even when they gave me the pills for pain meds, I don't take them. I might get a refill once every year and a half and they're for emergencies only, you know, like, I don't like them, so.

[Trey Crowder]

Sure.

[Ryan Sickler]

Do you ever get involved with it or does this help you stay off of it?

[Trey Crowder]

I mean, I guess, sort of. Yes. Meaning. Like, one time when I was 18, I almost did. I just told Fitzsimmons this story, too. But, like, I had my wisdom teeth cut out when I was 18, and, like, there's no. There's no oral surgeons in my hometown. So there was literally these dentists who would come through in a van. Like a cover band or something. I swear to God, you have to wait for the dentist van to come through town. I swear to God. And it ain't even making a point.

[Ryan Sickler]

Appointments, they just like, we'll be there.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah. You just meet in the parking lot. Parking lot? Yeah. R. A parking lot every third Thursday. Yeah. Right. Yeah. But now you made appointments. I swear to God, they're traveling dentist.

[Ryan Sickler]

No one decided, let's just open one here.

[Trey Crowder]

Okay. Again, we had. We. There was a town dentist, but she was not an oral surgeon. She wouldn't cut out your wis. So, like, for that or for any kind of procedures like that, it was a Mary. A van. Yes. Right. The thing is, it was exactly as upstanding of an operation as that sounds like it was. Which is to say that, like, did you ever have your wisdom teeth cut out?

[Ryan Sickler]

I did.

[Trey Crowder]

Okay. Do you know how. I've since learned. Do you know how they. Like, when that happens? They'll give you all this information on what to do and whatnot. Don't drink through a straw. Don't smoke a cigarette. Don't do. You'll get dry sockets. You'll get infected. None of that. Didn't tell me none. I didn't get a pamphlet. Nothing. No tips and tricks. Not shit. So like, so within my. Well, they're taking your wisdom teeth out. It wouldn't make sense to give you wisdom after taking the wisdom teeth out. They should take wisdom away from me, which they tried to. But also give me a big, big bottle of pills. Right.

[Ryan Sickler]

They're getting. Then they have pills, too.

[Trey Crowder]

I'm telling you at this time. Also, my tiny little town at this time had four pharmacies in it, which is crazy. There's no reason for 800 people. Yeah. I swear. And like, they were. Dude, people don't understand. I mean, it was every. And I'm saying again, I didn't even. I didn't even ask them for all.

[Ryan Sickler]

Your friends and their parents.

[Trey Crowder]

Many of them. Yes. I'm saying it was. My family got ripped apart. But it. That was a very. That was the story of the town at the time it happened almost Everybody, like, literally almost everyone. My dad got one of my best friends growing up. His dad, like, died on the table twice and was resuscitated. And I had another. I multiple good friends in high school who got real hooked on it themselves. Bad. Some of which have since died, some of which are still hanging on, but are real fucked up. I mean, people's parents were showing up to fucking ball games like Walking Dead style. Just like toothless stumbling around and shit. I mean, it was wild. And so I'm at the van dentist, and they give me no guidance and.

[Ryan Sickler]

A big four out, by the way, or two for her. How they doing it?

[Trey Crowder]

They know, they took them all out. But my little sister was there on the same day. Day, you know, efficiency.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah, sure.

[Trey Crowder]

They left like parts of one of them in her mouth. She had to go to a different dentist, not in a van in a nearby, like, big town, to cut out the last remaining piece of one of her wisdom teeth. That happened to her. Mine got infected within like a week.

[Ryan Sickler]

What did you do? Just everything.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Look at everything.

[Trey Crowder]

But so it got so. Because it got infected, I was in pain for longer than I should have been. And I have. They gave me way more pills than I needed, but I got that worked out. And by the time I still had plenty of pills left in that bottle, by the time that was completely resolved and I just kept taking them, right? Cause it's like I'm supposed to take these once a day or twice a day or whatever. But I knew, you know, I was taking them and playing NFL 2K5 on the Xbox and stuff and really digging it and. But I wasn't admitting to myself that I was doing that. And this is only a looking back on it thing. And this was what's so wild about drugs and especially opioids. And she's like, in the moment. I didn't. I didn't see any of this, but. Because I. I got a pillbilly mom and a pillbilly cousin, a pillbilly everything. And so I'm like, I don't. I don't want to. I know, I know. And I don't want to. But I'm like, but the doctor gave me these for my tooth thing. And it says to take them. So I don't think anything about it. Then I run out and I go to another cousin's house. I got a. I have a cousin also named Trey. That's how white trash we are. But I go to my cousin Trey's house and who's older, everybody always asks that he's older, but his middle name is Trey. Okay. My first name is Trey. Well, he's. He's older than me by barely a year.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah.

[Trey Crowder]

And his name is, you know, blank. Trey. Blank. And then a little more year later, my dad named his son me Trey. You know, Neil Crowder. So, I mean, look, my dad's the one who up. The other one came first, but I just. I feel like there's a little bit. At least a little bit of gray area.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah, there is, because it's his middle legit first.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah, Right. But anyway, go to my cousin Trey's house because his dad has, like, a lot of. A legitimate one. His dad was a good guy. Is a good guy. Had, like. Had. Had back surgery. Had a back problem. Right. And I knew that. And I knew, like, anybody with any kind of problem, they'd give him a bunch of pills. So I go to my cousin Trey's place, and I'm like, hey, you know where your dad keeps his pills? And he was like, yeah, but why? And I was like, I thought we'd just, you know, grab a couple, play Halo, whatever. And he was like, are you fucking serious? And I was like, what? You know, and he was like, I'm not stealing my dad's. I'm not letting you steal my dad's pills. I was like, dude, why are you being a dick about this? Like, they're right there. It's fine. He's not gonna use them all. It's not a big deal. Like, in my head, he was being an asshole, you know, not me. But he wouldn't do it. And I'm glad he wouldn't do it, because then I got all pissed off, but I didn't have any of them, any, any more lying around. And a couple of days later, I'm over it and realizing how crazy. So it was like, I'm not saying that I would be sucking dick under an overpass right now.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah, but you could.

[Trey Crowder]

But I could have been paid for if not for cousin Trey. Yes.

[Ryan Sickler]

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[Trey Crowder]

So I almost got sucked into it too briefly.

[Ryan Sickler]

So you could see and understand just how easily.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah. It can happen. Someone that.

[Ryan Sickler]

Boom.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah.

[Trey Crowder]

But they're, they're also.

[Ryan Sickler]

And it does. I mean there's, it's, it's across the world.

[Trey Crowder]

Yes.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah. It's crazy.

[Ryan Sickler]

This country is really. These bastards, these poor people up real bad.

[Trey Crowder]

And I, I have a complicated relationship with drug addicts and that type of thing because my mom, you know, wasn't around and wasn't great and we still don't have a great relationship and I, I have empathy and now. But like when I was younger I was hardcore like that. Yeah. Those people. I was like, I was like, you know, I, it was. I grew up around it. I'm not, I'm not a drug addict. I got a job. I'm not whatever.

[Ryan Sickler]

Like I was a person listening that doesn't have a person in their family or a friend or someone they know that didn't have this happen to them. Where someone's addicted. I've got cousins who they start. That's how it starts. So it starts with the pills and the scripts run out and it turns into the heroin and blah blah, blah. It's the same path.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

All the fucking time.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah. But I. But as I got older and I had kids and stuff, I mellowed on it. It's like again. And I think back and yes, I can see how easily it can happen to somebody who really is otherwise. And especially when I found out all the shit about the way and all.

[Ryan Sickler]

These people trying to get their teeth out in a van.

[Trey Crowder]

Right, that's what I'm saying. I didn't know all. When I as an adult learned all the shady ass that like the pharmaceutical companies and doctors and sales reps and stuff were 100 doing back then, it kind of changed the way I looked at a lot of it. It's like a lot of these people were victims. Were actual victims. Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Whereas poison drugs.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah, yeah. Whereas I used to look at them as like criminals, you know.

[Ryan Sickler]

Can I ask you then if mom's in and out of jail here and there or in and out of your life and are you living with dad?

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Who's the rock?

[Trey Crowder]

My. My dad.

[Ryan Sickler]

Are you with your dad? Like, yes. Or you live.

[Trey Crowder]

Me and my little sister live with our dad.

[Ryan Sickler]

Okay.

[Trey Crowder]

And he was great. But you said, who's the rock? And really the rock of the family was. Was his dad, my grandfather. We lived in my dad full time. But like the patriarch of the family was my grandpa. My dad's that. Oh, yeah. I mean, you know.

[Ryan Sickler]

What did he do again?

[Trey Crowder]

He was the guy who had. Had used to do build and race stock cars and then became a big gearhead and he like had a garage. He fixed cars and he sold cars. He worked on cars.

[Ryan Sickler]

Car lot. Did he have a little bit of a junkyard too? So I grew up in a junkyard. Or was it like used cars?

[Trey Crowder]

It was used cars and also a garage where he did work and body. He'd do body work and stuff like that. But he was a big time gearhead and I mean, and very much a like traditional, like strong southern working man. You know, I used to. He smoked, smoked a pack day, drank a bowl of whiskey a night. He had a bit like a Pyrex mixing bowl that he would fill up with. Bowl. Yes. Of. With.

[Ryan Sickler]

I thought originally you met like a.

[Trey Crowder]

No, no, like a Pyrex mixing bowl that, you know. You know what I mean? It's got a handle on it for like pancake batter or whatever. He'd fill it up with ice and like whiskey at night.

[Ryan Sickler]

Wow.

[Trey Crowder]

Because I would stay with him and I'd ask because, you know, again, I told you I remember if we started or not, but I was a fat kid and he put coke in it, you know, And I just. I was a big bowl of Coke and, you know, I'm sitting right fucking licking my lip I want some of that sweet, sweet elixir, Papa. And he was like, no, that's got papa's medicine in it, baby. And I didn't know what that meant until years later I found out it was. It was whiskey and Coke in a pancake batter bowl every night. So, you know, Every night. So. He died of a massive heart attack when I was 18. How was he? He was 69. Nice. But, yeah. And at the time I was 18, he was. @ the time I was like, yeah, he was ancient. Of course he died, you know, my grandmother, 69. But, like, now I realize, like, you know, that's not nothing, right? Yeah, exactly.

[Ryan Sickler]

Go back to being a fat kid when you were young.

[Trey Crowder]

Is that.

[Ryan Sickler]

Is that your way of coping with all this craziness and stuff?

[Trey Crowder]

Yes, probably.

[Ryan Sickler]

What are you doing?

[Trey Crowder]

I definitely. Well, also, people don't understand. And I think the bigger part of it is, like, dude, there's no nutritional education or knowledge whatsoever. People don't understand anything about how, like, food or health works or calories or nothing. Nobody knows anything about any of that. And that's another thing, too. It's like that used to kind of be okay when, like, my grandpa was younger and stuff, because food didn't have all this bullshit. And it wasn't like, it wasn't as bad for you as it.

[Ryan Sickler]

Go out the backyard and get it.

[Trey Crowder]

That's what I'm saying. So, like, they didn't have to know. But then food became mass produced and all this bullshit got put in it and all the sugar and all this stuff and. But nothing changed about what people knew about it. They didn't understand how bad a lot of this shit was. So, like, I just ate, I mean, garbage as a kid. I mean, I had like, my. One of my. My grandmas were great cooks and stuff. Even the stuff they cooked was, you know, I mean, like fried chicken and chicken livers with gravy and all this, you know, just like soul food stuff that was, like, not great for it. And other than that, we're talking with a single dad, dude, canned chili, frozen pizzas, fries, whatever, and. But I'm. I. It's like a watershed moment for me, like, that I'll never forget as a fat kid and everything I had. I was getting into high school, I was going through puberty. I'm still fat. And it's really starting to bother me at this point. Right? It's bothering me already. But I'm saying I like girls and stuff now. And it's like, I don't like being Fat. I had basically not entirely stopped eating, but I'd start. I was eating like once a day. I was barely eating anything and I still wasn't losing weight. And I was like, what the fuck is going on? And then one day I came home from school and I did what I did every day when I came home from school. I grabbed the big bottle of Sunny D off brand Sunny D in the fridge and took a big, you know.

[Ryan Sickler]

Sonny E. What do you got down?

[Trey Crowder]

It was like, you know, I don't know, Orange D light or whatever. Yeah, Morning delight. I don't know. But it was not legit sunny day. But anyway, I put it, take a big swig of it, put it back, and this time the back of the bottle is facing me. And I'm like. I go to close the door and I'm like, wait, what? And I look at. I'm like, what the fuck? I had no idea that liquid could have calories in it. I had no idea that drinks could make you fat. I thought. I thought as long as you drank it, it didn't count. It was fine.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah, it's just a liquid.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah, it's a liquid. Food makes you fat. Liquids don't make you fat. And I realized that that day. And I immediately stopped drinking everything but water. And I also, that summer had like that help.

[Ryan Sickler]

I mean, that was that a big part of it.

[Trey Crowder]

I stopped drinking everything but water. And that summer I had a growth spurt, like five or six inches. And I lost like 40 something pounds.

[Ryan Sickler]

Or something like that.

[Trey Crowder]

And I haven't been the same type of like, pudgy ass, little fat kid that I was in ever since. My weight is yo yo'd, but in kind of like a fat dad way, you know? But like, that was the end of my. Like, I looked like a white Manny from Modern Family.

[Ryan Sickler]

You were big.

[Trey Crowder]

Oh, yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

You were.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah, yeah, big old boy. And like a dork too, like. And I was like the smart kid and so what's it like?

[Ryan Sickler]

Tell me what it's like living with dad growing up and his mom, like, floating in and out. You say, like, will she come by and visit or do you guys go see her? Such a small town. Are you like, Are you walking distance?

[Trey Crowder]

No, we were not. It was one of those things because she was on drugs and stuff. I don't know where she was for most of it. They were like, there was a good period of time. Again, my mom's still alive. Someone will probably send her this. She'll text me about putting her on front street, but that's what she called. Calls it.

[Ryan Sickler]

But you don't talk on a regular.

[Trey Crowder]

No way. We text and stuff like that. But you know, my story, I'm allowed to tell it, and it is all true. So there was a good chunk of my childhood where I really only show. I really only saw her if she showed up to, like, see if I had any money or something she could sell or something like that. So it was almost entirely our dad. He. My dad, like, he drank and smoked, too, but he was always home and he wasn't. He was like. He was, like, kind of a part. Like, everybody loved my dad. Everybody wore jean jackets, had long hair, loved rock and roll and all that. And, like, he was awesome. So, like, now that I have kids, really, my dad was more of, like, a bro than a father. Like, he was. He loved the out of us, but he was not a disciplinarian is what I'm saying. Like, he was like, dude, my dad. My dad was showing me, like, a racer head when I was nine and like, that. You know what I mean? Like, that type. That type of thing. Like, he would and then get upset that I didn't, like, connect with the artistry of it or whatever. It's like, I'm. I'm in fourth grade or whatever. But. But the upside of that was also, like, you know, the Die Hard movies and, like, if I wanted a DMX album or something that had the, you know, the explicit on it, like, he would get me that because he was like, censorships. So that's what he always said censorship is. But, like, so he was, like, real cool about a lot of stuff, which was rad. But, like, like I said, he wasn't, like, you know, he wasn't doing. He wasn't any kind of, like, sitcom dad or nothing like that. We're, like, really sitting down, having serious talks about life or, like, straightening me out or nothing. You know what I mean? But, I mean, don't get me wrong. If I. I would, I think, 100% be sucking those underpass dicks if not for my dad. Like, me and my sister both agree that our dad is the reason we, you know, turned out relatively okay. Step into the world of power, loyalty, and luck. I'm gonna make him an offer he can't refuse with family.

[Ryan Sickler]

Cannolis and spins mean everything.

[Trey Crowder]

Now you want to get mixed up in the family business.

[Ryan Sickler]

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[Trey Crowder]

Someday I will call upon you to do a Service for me. Play the Godfather [e-mail] Welcome to the family. No purchase necessary. VGW Group void. We're prohibited by law. 21 plus terms and conditions apply.

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[Ryan Sickler]

What? Then? Who's giving you that? If you're not getting it from dad, where are you picking it up?

[Trey Crowder]

Pick him what up?

[Ryan Sickler]

What he's not giving you say, is a dad, like, is that from Graham? Is that from your grandfather?

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah. Yes.

[Ryan Sickler]

Where's the rest?

[Trey Crowder]

My grandpa who died when I was 18, he was definitely the authority figure. So. Yeah, that, that was coming from him. Yeah. And then after he died when I was 18 and I turned 18 because of everything with the factory and all, everything closing. Like, I've been. I've been completely financially independent since.

[Ryan Sickler]

Have you.

[Trey Crowder]

I turned 18, I had nobody say I could ask anybody for or turn to or, I know, safety net or nothing. And that, you know, that shit will just make you grow up. You know, a lot of things just made me grow up fast, basically. So, like, I don't know. I don't, you know, I don't know where I get all of it from. You just whatever. Life, live life. Bad shit happens. And you're also in a position where.

[Ryan Sickler]

You still in you about being a good person. You know what I mean?

[Trey Crowder]

Again, my dad, he was very. He. He was very like, loving. You know, A lot of dads of that generation would not want like, hugs or saying I love you and walk it off.

[Ryan Sickler]

Generation.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah. No, he was not like that at all. He would, you know, you're good. Yeah, he was not that guy. He would. I'm saying he was not like, like, he was. He would dole out hugs all the time and tell you how much he loved you and all that stuff. And like. And he was also suit. Because I grew up in a video store, I knew I wanted to do this Hollywood shit from a very. It's all I ever really wanted to do. And like, my dad's dad, my grandpa, because I was a smart kid in school, he wanted me to be like a doctor, lawyer, that type of thing. Because that's all you do. If you're smart, somebody need to be.

[Ryan Sickler]

A goddamn dentist in that fucking town, bro.

[Trey Crowder]

Right? But so when I would say I wanted to do like, you know, comedy or movies or something, my grandpa would be like, absolutely not. You're throwing away, you know, you're, you know, you're. You're smart. You got a golden ticket. You're throwing it away doing that stupid bullshit that nobody does. But my dad was very, very supportive of it and thought it was awesome, like a good idea. So he was just, you know, he was just very loving and cool. Basically. He was just a really good guy. Like I said, dude, I mean, like, everybody loved him. When my dad died a few years ago, like, I had to did, you.

[Ryan Sickler]

Know, it Was coming, sort of.

[Trey Crowder]

He. I mean, well, so he died of pancreatic cancer, which is like the most brutal I've ever seen in my life. Like they. Not much else like it. So. I mean, he found out something was wrong with him, I want to say, a little before Thanksgiving. And he died on January 10th.

[Ryan Sickler]

Damn.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah, six weeks. Yeah, holidays too. Six of the best weeks for someone to get cancer and die. But. Yeah, but when that happened, I had to. I was working my old day job. I had two. I had a newborn baby and a one year old. And I already said, I know there's nobody else with any money, no one else to. So I know I'm gonna have to make payments on this funeral or whatever I gotta do. So we have. We make the arrangements to do the thing and I know it's gonna be on me, even though I don't have no extra money at all. And I go in the office after it's over and ask the funeral director, like, you know, what do I owe you? And he goes, you don't owe me anything. And I was like, what do you mean? He was like everybody in. Everybody in town, like, pitched in and covered it. So you don't know anything. And so it's like.

[Ryan Sickler]

Like your dad.

[Trey Crowder]

My dad was just like that kind of dude. Like, everybody loved him.

[Ryan Sickler]

That's great.

[Trey Crowder]

So. So yeah, he's the. The hero and savior or whatever. And so summarily, that's why God has to kill him. But anyway, it's always.

[Ryan Sickler]

When does mom. Or does mom clean up a little bit?

[Trey Crowder]

Yes, somewhat. Yes, I say somewhat. As far as I know, as according to her, and I do believe her, she's not been on, like, she has not been actively on drugs for pro. I mean, probably close to 15 years now.

[Ryan Sickler]

Okay.

[Trey Crowder]

But she's still got others.

[Ryan Sickler]

Would she come to graduation? Was she making major events for you? Like, were you an athlete? Was she coming to sporting events, anything?

[Trey Crowder]

Well, that was part of the fat kid stuff. I was like, I played for. In a town like mine, like small Southern town, you, if you don't play sports, you got no shot. Like socially, I mean. So I, like all my friends were the guys on the. I played foot. I was not a good athlete. I wasn't good at the sports, but I did play them because you had to. And not being good at them. Like, at the time, I'm glad no, no genie came to me or nothing, because at the time I would have traded, like, my brain, my intelligence for athleticism like that at a single. A High school level nerve. Yeah, right. I would have traded it overnight. I would have been like, absolutely. But obviously that would have been a colossal mistake. But so now she. I'm telling. She just wasn't. I mean, just wasn't really around. I can't really remember she was at my high school graduation or not. She was at my college graduation for sure. And she was at my wedding, which my wife was like.

[Ryan Sickler]

Was she sober then?

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah, well, she. Yes. She was like fresh out of another stint in jail when we got married. Because I remember my wife was like really worried about it, you know, she was like, is she going to cause a fuck? What's going to happen? Because she was like, basically like coming straight from jail to the fucking. You know, I mean, not literally, but very close to it. It was like that, that week, I think my wife tried to get it in under the wire, like trying to schedule it. Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Why would we get married on a Wednesday?

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah, yeah. Because his mama gets out on Thursday. Yeah, I never really thought about that, but I think maybe she was trying to do that. I don't know. But anyway. But yeah, no, she. When I. So that's also, you know, when we got married, my wife was obviously pregnant. White trash, right? So that's my first baby. And she. And she was getting out of jail. She's getting out of jail, My wife's pregnant or she's getting out of jail, I'm getting married and my soon to be wife is pregnant. All this is happening. So I told my mom at the time, we had like a conversation at the time and she was like, I'm clean, I'm going to stay clean and all this. And again, she has. It's just there's still other issues there. That's not the only thing. But to her credit, she has, she has stayed clean. Yes.

[Ryan Sickler]

So what was she in jail for that time again? Selling.

[Trey Crowder]

All the same thing every time. Yeah. Who's.

[Ryan Sickler]

Who's busting her? Like, how, how sloppy?

[Trey Crowder]

I'm not gonna say like the local.

[Ryan Sickler]

Like, do you know.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah, I know the dudes. I'm not gonna say his name, but I know the guy's name. He was like a. He was a. He was like a sheriff's deputy who later became a sheriff and all this, like just a small town cop.

[Ryan Sickler]

And is he buying from her, like setting her up or is he not watching?

[Trey Crowder]

He's just watching her.

[Ryan Sickler]

He's just doing it, right?

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah, right. He's sitting there in the squad car, lights are on and everything. Yeah, he's Like, Paula, don't. Don't. Paula.

[Dennis Black]

Paula, come on.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah. Are you really doing this? But yeah, no. I mean, yes, it was pretty much like that because she would be up while doing this, too. You know what I mean? Like, she was selling. A man was taking her, so she'd be up while doing it. And so, you know, again, it wasn't hard.

[Ryan Sickler]

Is she any. Well, you know what? Let me go back to this question.

[Trey Crowder]

God, she's gonna kill me over this part if she does watch this, because she. She, of course, claims that, you know, there was a lot of. And you know, the cops. I'm small town redneck. I don't. With cops. She claims that they, like, you know, with her, some. That there was some railroading that happened. And I'm not saying that none of that didn't happen, but I'm just also saying that she was doing the things too, right? Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

She's not exactly innocent.

[Trey Crowder]

They might have trumped it up or whatever, treated her like.

[Ryan Sickler]

And those are my pills.

[Trey Crowder]

Y.

[Ryan Sickler]

These are my pills.

[Trey Crowder]

Right. That's how I know y' all set them in there. So I, you know, I'm not. Yeah. I'm not saying they didn't do some untoward things, but she definitely was like. I mean, she was guilty.

[Ryan Sickler]

So I want to come back to asking about her as a grandmom for a second, but before. I think you said before your dad passed, you had a newborn. Were both your kids born in.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah, they're 13 months apart.

[Ryan Sickler]

Did he get.

[Trey Crowder]

Barely. Did he get the whole twins? The first.

[Ryan Sickler]

His grandkids.

[Trey Crowder]

The first one. Him first, yes. He got to. Got to tell him he was going to be a grandpa, and he was thrilled. And. Yeah, the first. My son was a baby. He was there when he was born. He held him, hung out with him and stuff the first year of his life. His younger brother, my second son, was only two weeks old when he died and he had rsv. He was in the hospital. I had a newborn in the hospital. My dad was dying of cancer, so.

[Ryan Sickler]

He never got to see.

[Trey Crowder]

Not the second one, but he was alive for it. He was. They were alive on earth at the same time. Another grandson. Okay, good.

[Ryan Sickler]

That's good. Yes, that's good. So he got. He was there for the news.

[Trey Crowder]

Yes. And that's one way, you know, because, like, we didn't. I mean, obviously, shotgun wedding, it wasn't planned, but I wouldn't change anything about it. Even if, like, you know, having kids, especially for a comedian and also my generation, that's an early age I was 25 to have a kid. But like I wouldn't change anything about it for really. For any reason. But one of the reasons is because, you know, my dad got to be a grandpa or whatever before all that shit went down.

[Ryan Sickler]

So you know, is your mom involved in your kids lives? Is she a grandmom in any way? Does she want to be? What is that situation?

[Trey Crowder]

Like she. She sends them birthday cards and she'll text me. Text me to you know, tell. Tell them I love them and that type of thing. But like I mean to be. She still lives back in Tennessee. We live in California now. But even when we go home, you know, she probably. She sees them for a few hours like every other year. Something like that.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, okay. Yeah.

[Trey Crowder]

And we'll go back more than that.

[Ryan Sickler]

She's not trying to FaceTime or any of that.

[Trey Crowder]

Not well. Okay. Also on as far as that goes, she's like. I mean she's broke as hell living it. There's where she lives out in the country and a hollered. There's like no she. I don't think she's got any WI fi. Barely has cell phone service. I don't think her phone. She's still rocking like a flip phone. Flip. I don't know if it's literally a flip phone. I don't think she has FaceTime or any of that type of shit. She don't have none of that available to her. So to be fair. But yeah but I. We. We're currently. She's upset with me currently because I've On a re. Another recent thing I was on. I told the truth about her and she. Somebody got back to. It's like I'm still in the small town. You know people like you don't have.

[Ryan Sickler]

Cell service but you listen every goddamn pod.

[Trey Crowder]

Some. Someone will see this and someone will send it to her and then I'll have to hear about it later. But that's okay. It's fine. I mean again I already. I wrote about it my book and all kinds of. So she knows the deal at this point or she should. Yeah. I know it's a lot. I know. Sorry.

[Ryan Sickler]

You're good. No, that's what this show is.

[Trey Crowder]

I know it is. I know. Again I can tell you I'm a fan so I knew that but I've still been feel like I've been going overboard.

[Ryan Sickler]

You're not at all, dude. I just want to make sure I don't interrupt. I get yelled at if I step on a question and I do want to know just now as a father, like, how has that affected you? Like, which part do you find yourself being maybe overprotective? Or do you find yourself being a little bit of a helicopter parent?

[Trey Crowder]

Or.

[Ryan Sickler]

Or you dial back. Are you, you know, you have boys?

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Like, how are you doing that in California?

[Trey Crowder]

I'm definitely. Even though I was being kind of critical earlier, when I talked about my dad now, he wasn't much of a disciplinarian. I'm just like him. Like, you know, me and their mom are still married. We've married for 15 years. She is also. I'm a, you know, I'm a comedian and I'm on the road quite a bit and everything. She's a stay at home mom. But like, she's definitely like, she's the disciplinarian of the two of us. And I'm, you know, I'm like, hey, I want to watch Alien tonight. Like, I'm, you know, kind of like my dad. Like, she just left for a few days recently and I was like, is it time to introduce him to Quentin Tarantino? 12 and 13. I know. Just, I didn't. But I was like, she takes a yearly trip. And I was like, maybe next year. And if not next year, definitely the year after that. It'll be time. But yeah, that's the type of shit I think about. So, like, I kind of turned into my dad for sure. But I mean, I have. We have a great relationship. And I don't. And they're also, they're. They're like, they're great boys.

[Ryan Sickler]

Are you honest and open with them about your family and the struggles and the addiction so that they. Because today in their world, these poor kids, it's. It's literally I. It's on. But I'm glad I see it on city buses. I tell my daughter all the time, this much. Dead.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

That's crazy.

[Trey Crowder]

Yes. No. Yeah, they know.

[Ryan Sickler]

And then we never had to worry about that.

[Trey Crowder]

Right? Well, I mean, I kind of did well.

[Ryan Sickler]

In the 80s.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Nobody was worried about dying from cocaine. Unless you did too much cocaine.

[Trey Crowder]

Not. Yes.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, poison right now, dude.

[Trey Crowder]

Defend the fence. Shit is the worst thing that has ever happened as far as any of that goes. Because, yeah, you're right. It's like, it's not. It's not fair and it's stupid. I mean, a lot. None of that was fair. But this is way worse because of what you said earlier for Guy love us to buy a little bag of coke and go out for the night. Whatever. Who am I to judge? And if some asshole puts fent in it, it kills that guy. I mean, that's not.

[Ryan Sickler]

That's completely. Yeah. Whoever. Whoever's touching.

[Trey Crowder]

No, that's a whole other ball game. That is definitely way worse. And you're right. We didn't have to worry about that. Yes. The only. The only way it was going to get you is if you were stupid about it and did too much. Those used to be the rules. Now that ain't even rule anymore. You can be smart about it.

[Ryan Sickler]

You can have still.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah. Right. Yes. Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

No, you can be responsibly do your cocaine and still die.

[Trey Crowder]

Yes. Which is some. But no, I'm. Yeah, I'm open with them about the, like, the past and the history of it there. I used to wonder. It's like whenever it would come up if I was telling them at too young and of an 8, because, you know, they would. I remember one time I was talking to about it and I got finished like talking about my dad and this whole thing or whatever, and. And my son, who was probably six or seven at the time, goes, your family's sad daddy. I was like. And I said. I said, well, guess what, buddy, that's your family too.

[Ryan Sickler]

Our family is.

[Trey Crowder]

Our family is safe. Yeah. Yeah, right.

[Ryan Sickler]

Kids, man, they just figure out a way to kill you, dude.

[Trey Crowder]

Y. Y.

[Ryan Sickler]

Now, are you honest with them about your mom and who she was as a mom and you know what I mean? I'm. I'm the same way of my daughter. I'm like, look, you. You have an opportunity to be a different person as a grandmother, but you can't erase who you were as a mom.

[Trey Crowder]

Yes.

[Ryan Sickler]

And I'm going to let your granddaughter know when she asks questions. I'm not going to lie to her.

[Trey Crowder]

Right.

[Ryan Sickler]

I'm going to tell her the truth. Truth. But it's an opportunity, I always say, for my daughter to. When I say these stories, for her to be like, that's not the gram I know at all.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah. Right.

[Ryan Sickler]

Or you can be like, yeah, it makes sense. She seems exactly like.

[Trey Crowder]

Well, see now I. Apparently that type of thing, I guess does happen. Again, it hasn't really happened with my mom, not so far. But like my mom always used to say about her mom, my mama, Cat. Cat. That's what we call her. That maternal grandmother Mama Cat cooked the best catfish ever had in your life.

[Ryan Sickler]

But is that why they called her Mama Cat?

[Trey Crowder]

No, her name was Cat. That's just a coincidence. She owned the diner. Oh, dude, it was so Good catfish and hush puppies. It was called Cat's Cafe. It was another. Another casualty casualty of the, of the. Of the factory. Cause him. But anyway, my. My mom always told us about Mama Cat, her mother, that we didn't. We didn't have the same person that she did growing up. That like, she always said that as a mom, my grandma was like. Was never around, partied all the time, was always gone, whatever. But like, we all fucking. As a grandma, we adored her Now, I mean, it was a different time at a different place. She'd smoke two packs of Marlboro Reds with all the windows closed in a 600 square foot apartment, you know, or looks like a fucking 1920s bookie operation. And they're just a cloud of fucking smoke, like child's forehead high in the. Throughout the whole apartment. But we adored her. Adored her. She was like just the absolute fucking best. And. And you know, apparently as a parent, not so much, but as a grandparent, she was the shit. So, you know, it is a thing. It's like they get. Some of them. They get a. They get a second chance and then.

[Ryan Sickler]

They lean into it. Actually lean in.

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

You know what? I am going to go for this. Not just coast along or be. Whatever. What about your wife's family?

[Trey Crowder]

Oh, they're angels.

[Ryan Sickler]

Are they all from Tennessee?

[Trey Crowder]

Yes, they're from a very small southern town too. It's.

[Ryan Sickler]

You said you've been married 15 years?

[Trey Crowder]

Yeah, so, yeah, it's from. It's on the other side of the state from. So, like, if my hand is the state of Tennessee, there's Nashville right there. My hometown is right here and her hometown is down here. So we're like on the opposite sides of Nashville. But culturally, they're the exact same place. They didn't get it as bad as we got it in the 90s. Like, they didn't. They had factories closed, but they didn't have a big. They didn't have one single massive factory that left or whatever. But it's still, you know, pretty economically, you know, desolate there in a very small redneck town. But her family is like, I don't know. They kept their shit together. Like, I always used to tell people that her family is from. They're not. They're not at all rich, but like, in terms of affecting the way they are and everything, they're more like like Duck Dynasty rednecks or whatever. And my family is more like wild and wonderful whites of West Virginia. Okay. You know that document. So. Yeah, but that's kind of the difference again, the Duck Dynasty people are loaded and my, my in laws are not. They're very working class people, but they're like a core nuclear family that love each other and it's wholesome as hell. We spend every Christmas there now and like dude, I make gingerbread houses and for like my sons and my sister in laws, their kids, my son's cousins, all the kids are there and you know, the house smells like Christmas and there's a Christmas tree. It's all very wholesome. And it's like I was telling my sister about that about us. I was like, you should come down there because we do all this stuff and it's like, like, you know, it's like she goes an actual fucking family. And I was like, yeah. And I was like, yeah, that's exactly what it's like. She was like, yeah, must be nice. And I was like, well you can come if you want to. But yeah, she knew immediately what I meant. It's just the type of thing that you know, we just never had as kids. But so I love it. My in laws are awesome.

[Ryan Sickler]

Do they know your mom?

[Trey Crowder]

They've met. They know her. Yeah, they know the deal.

[Ryan Sickler]

They don't really mingle. Your mom doesn't really.

[Trey Crowder]

Not at all. Again, they're. The towns are like four hours apart. They like when my grandma died, my in laws came and my mom was there and stuff and they were both at the wedding. They've met, they'll say hey to each other, whatever, but they don't, you know, they don't really have much to do with one another. They, you know, they know what's up. Me, my wife's got some. My wife's family, she. That it's a big ass family. They're all in her small little hometown except for her, you know, like I drug her off to California. I always assumed they would for that. But they're. They.

[Ryan Sickler]

She's like there or you're successful, right?

[Trey Crowder]

That helps. Helps. That helps. That helps a lot. So yes, I think that that goes a long way. Plus my wife was always the like kind of weirdo in her family so they're not surprised that she ain't around. She was the one who was always like wanting to leave that town. So like they're not surprised and don't hold it against me, but it's a huge ass family in that small southern town. So I mean she's got some, there's some wild people in her family but her like her parents and her sisters and her sister's kids and all them. I love them all to death. They're great.

[Ryan Sickler]

That's great, man. Yeah. Thank you for coming and doing this, dude.

[Trey Crowder]

Oh no, I've been, yeah, I've been looking forward to it. Like I said, I'm a fan and when I first even heard you were doing this as a thing, I was like, well, I'm gonna have to do that at some point.

[Ryan Sickler]

I'm glad we got you, bro.

[Trey Crowder]

But thanks for having me.

[Ryan Sickler]

Before we wrap up, advice you'd give to 16 year old Trey Crowder, what would you say to him?

[Trey Crowder]

I can't change anything, right? Because like obviously I would try to save my dad, but all I can do is tell 16 year old me something. So I think I would just tell 16 year old me, buckle up. But hang in there. You've got the right idea, you know, like. Cause it's been a rocky ass road, but it's mostly working out, you know, I'm doing, I mean I have my dream job, I'm doing what I wanted to do and if I presuming that I can't use this power to save anybody or change anything in the past and I would just tell him like, you know, being for some rough times and. But hang in there, it'll be okay. And look out for a blonde bartender named Katie at Crawdaddies. Yes, that's where we met Crawdaddies and Cookville, Tennessee. So that's all I would tell him.

[Ryan Sickler]

That's great, dude. Pug everything one more time, please.

[Trey Crowder]

Special called Trash Daddy is out on YouTube now. Watch that. Other than that, follow me on socials. Trey Crowder T R A e Crowder. Trey Crowder.com is my website with all my tour dates. Come see me on the road. Oh, putting on airs podcast. Listen to it.

[Ryan Sickler]

Thank you again.

[Trey Crowder]

Thank you, buddy.

[Ryan Sickler]

It's a great episode.

[Trey Crowder]

It was a pleasure.

[Ryan Sickler]

I really appreciate you coming in and I appreciate you guys supporting the show as always. Ryan Sickler on all your social media. We'll talk to y' all next week.

[Trey Crowder]

Hello, it is Ryan.

[Ryan Sickler]

And I was on a flight the.

[Trey Crowder]

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