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- [00:00]
A
Baltimore, I'm coming home. We're gonna wrap the Live and Alive tour up Saturday, June 28th at the Horseshoe Casino. It's gonna be a great night. I got Justin Schlegel from 98 Rock gonna be out there with me. We're gonna have some surprises. It's gonna be a really big deal. Get your tickets now@ryancickler.com the Honeydew with Ryan Sickler. Welcome back to the Honeydew, y' all. We're over here doing it in the Night Pants studios. I'm Ryan Sickler. Ryan Sickler.com Ryan Sickler on all your social media. Look, we're just going to jump into it today that I, I promote stuff all the time. But I'm just going to say thank you guys for supporting everything we do over. And I always say these are the stories behind the storytellers. I'm very excited to have this guest back on the Honeydew. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Chappelle Lacey. Welcome back to the Honeydew.
- [01:08]
B
Yes, I am here. I'm here.
- [01:11]
A
Highlight your low lights.
- [01:12]
B
Highlights and low lights.
- [01:13]
A
But before we do, yes, please promote everything you like. Tell them about your special that's out now. Congratulations.
- [01:21]
B
A 30 minute comedy special out now on YouTube through don't tell comedy. It's called three dads, two moms.
- [01:32]
A
Too true.
- [01:32]
B
Yeah, it's out. I loved everything I did with it to build up for that, all that stuff. And, and I have tour dates. Where will I be? Chappelle Lacy.com is where you'll find that. And I'll, I'll say, I'll say them after. I can't remember exactly right now, but yeah, yeah, I think that's all I have for right now.
- [01:56]
A
Where can they find you on socials.
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B
And all socials at Chappelle Lacy.
- [02:00]
A
All your dates are there and everything.
- [02:02]
B
All dates are there. Every little. Everything's there.
- [02:04]
A
I want to ask you a question comic to comic here. You said a 30 minute special. Do you feel the need to put a time disclaimer on it? And if so, why?
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B
I don't know. I just, I just dis. Yeah, I don't even know why I said it. It's a special. I don't know.
- [02:20]
A
It is a special.
- [02:21]
B
Yeah. I don't know. I don't know why. You know, this is why. This is why. I think it's just because of that old mentality of like, remember like Comedy Central Presents, that'd be like a 30 minute special and then like HBO or.
- [02:32]
A
At a half Hour. Then they did the hour. Yeah, but what people may not know. A lot of people are savvy enough, though. But an hour on network television back then was about 44 minutes.
- [02:44]
B
40. Yeah. Roughly. Yeah.
- [02:45]
A
And a half hour, 22. Because you got the commercial. Commercials and stuff. So it's. Neither of them are really. Or an hour.
- [02:52]
B
You're right.
- [02:53]
A
I know. And the hour from hbo. And those things come because there were people sitting in a room going, the. Can we do with this 60 Minutes right here? And they create an hour. Yeah, you know what I mean? They create an hour. The show at a club is not meant for the comic. It's meant for the establishment to sell drinks, to sell food, to turn. To get their checks paid and everything before the clowns get off the stage. So what?
- [03:20]
B
Because Raw was in the movies, right? Anywhere.
- [03:23]
A
Yeah, I went and saw that. That was in the movie in the theater.
- [03:25]
B
So that. That was like. You saw an actual.
- [03:27]
A
Yeah, you saw an action.
- [03:28]
B
You're right.
- [03:29]
A
But what I'm saying is, like, I saw.
- [03:32]
B
That's crazy. You saw that in theater?
- [03:33]
A
In the theater, bro. And let me tell you something. I just. I didn't. I promise you, I didn't go to the White Suburb theater. We went to Randallstown.
- [03:42]
B
Look it up.
- [03:42]
A
Randallstown, Maryland, Baltimore County. Went to the theater off Liberty Road. We were.
- [03:47]
B
So you guys were the only white dudes there.
- [03:49]
A
Listen, it was me and my friend Matt Schilling, and his mom dropped us off and we went in and saw. She went with us to Rocky in that theater. Rocky was wild in that theater, too. Like. Yeah, yeah. Rocky 4, to be specific. I'll never forget, because that's what I learned. Like, black people like to talk in the movie.
- [04:07]
B
Yeah, yeah.
- [04:08]
A
All black people. And, like, us over here in the corner, and he was training in Russia, showed up and they were all like, don't do it. Right?
- [04:16]
B
You're gonna try. I swear to God.
- [04:18]
A
I swear I never in my life.
- [04:21]
B
I. We started laughing. Sorry. I'm like, oh, my God.
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A
It's true.
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B
It really is true. Oh, my God.
- [04:26]
A
People are laughing, too. They weren't even.
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B
They were like, shut the up. The true movie. Black movie.
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A
Not to do it.
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B
Damn. You gotta beat that Russian. Yeah. So you were at all black theater.
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A
For Raw, predominantly, I'd say 80%. Yes for raw. Yeah, it was wild, dude.
- [04:45]
B
We were in high school because Eddie.
- [04:47]
A
Was like, oh, he came. When. Just when you saw him in the. The ridiculous leather suit. And he came out. You're just like, oh, my God. And you're it's, you know it's this.
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B
Yeah.
- [04:57]
A
It's a movie screen. A massive and hundreds of people in there with and you know it's so different to see a stand up movie where everyone's loud and laughing and energy's bouncing off the walls versus Star wars where we everybody. This is the opposite of that.
- [05:16]
B
I just did that recently so at the the I think it's called the New Beverly. Quentin Tarantino's the theater he bought on, on Beverly and like La Brea or whatever. So they did, they did a night. It was Richard Prior live in concert.
- [05:30]
A
Yeah.
- [05:30]
B
And then the next one was Eddie Murphy raw. Oh now it was. That was like the coolest way because I didn't get the experience that you had. So like it was like yeah. I didn't know how I was going to be in a movie there. I've never watched a comedy special in a movie theater. It was so dope and like, like raw.
- [05:48]
A
We know what raw is but like Richard Pryor's 1979. You don't need to tell me one bit. I watch it yearly. It yearly. And you know what? Every year we all get older and changes and every year that specials.
- [06:02]
B
It's so on point just thinking about it. It is.
- [06:05]
A
How accurate is it? It is so all the with the police.
- [06:08]
B
Yes the police.
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A
All the with all of it.
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B
And like his level of vulnerability.
- [06:12]
A
You can drop it today and it is relevant current today. Is that crazy 1979. I think it's the greatest standard special.
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B
I was, I was literally going to say it's the greatest special of all time. It's number one. I, I, I will say that and I mean it with all my heart. That special was he gave you everything.
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A
Everything, everything. Made fun of his own heart attacks and everything.
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B
Oh yeah.
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A
Monkey and all of it. The German shepher box and a guy came up to take pictures and he still was like sit the down. He was like, he was cool about.
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B
So smooth about so cool that like And I'm telling you like when the pause breaks would happen in the, in the special people were already doing it in the theater. That's what was crazy. Like he would do a joke and people like. And then it was like literally. It like literally matched.
- [07:07]
A
It's timeless.
- [07:08]
B
It's, it's incredible. Incredible. That man was like on a different level. He was so open and like it really inspired me especially with this three dads, two moms. Because like a lot of it's like my life. You know what I mean? Like I'M talking about like my, you know, a lot of things in my life, you know, my anger issues, you know. You know, you know, having this different sets of family and trying to juggle that and you know, being the black dude that, you know, likes a bunch of white shit. You know what I mean? You know, and just like, and like that special just makes me want to open up more and more and more and more and more. Just let it all out.
- [07:45]
A
As a fan, like we're gonna get into your story. Let me just say this too again about these. The time limit of these specials. I know purists and everything. It's an hour, my hour, my hour. But look, I just saw. Not just it's been a minute, but Earthquake has a special out. And I want to say it's under 40 minutes. It might be like a third. It's so good. I think Chappelle produced it.
- [08:07]
B
Oh, this is recent. It was not like a few years.
- [08:10]
A
Ago, not that long ago. It's so good. And, and I look, I leave wanting more because I love Earthquake, but also Earthquake didn't need to give me anymore that came in and throwing haymakers.
- [08:23]
B
You're right. Yeah, he throws non stop.
- [08:27]
A
And then when he gets on him, he rides and he rides him. He's so good at tagging and jumping on and stuff.
- [08:32]
B
And it's like so funny to where you're like, how did he think of that?
- [08:35]
A
Yes, it's so there's a story.
- [08:37]
B
One of the door guys at the Comedy Store, he used to be a door guy, Matt Lockwood. He told me one time there was a show going on in the main rooms. Sold out show. And they had brought Earthquake up he goes. He could tell the crowd knew, had no clue who Earthquake was. But he said he destroyed that room so hard. He goes to people who didn't even. They didn't know who he was, didn't know what he was about. They were just like, who's this guy? You know?
- [09:03]
A
And then he just one of the best murderers murders just set it on fire. If a guy like that is going to do it and Chappelle's going to produce it and they're not going to say, hey, my 38 minute special.
- [09:15]
B
True.
- [09:15]
A
Just start telling everybody, you got a.
- [09:17]
B
New special, you got a new special, new special.
- [09:19]
A
That's it. Angry about.
- [09:23]
B
I know, right? You are right. You are right. You're all right.
- [09:27]
A
I'll say back to the prior thing too.
- [09:30]
B
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [09:30]
A
Gosh damn, I love that Tom Segura did the long Beach Convention Center a couple years ago. He's like.
- [09:35]
B
Which is where he filmed that, right?
- [09:37]
A
Yeah, yeah. And he's like, do you want to come work with him? I was like, tom. Yes. And not just because like that's where Prior filmed. And I think he. He opened for. It was either Patti LaBelle or Aretha Franklin.
- [09:50]
B
They opened the show. It was, it was Patti LaBelle. Patty LaBelle opened the show.
- [09:54]
A
That's what I'm saying. He's going up after Patti LaBelle. That's another thing. Like who the wants to do that?
- [10:00]
B
Who wants to do that? Yeah, like following a musical hall of fame, not a dj, you know what I'm saying? Not some house music. Patti LaBelle. I got a new attitud.
- [10:11]
A
Is that the Val, right?
- [10:12]
B
Isn't it? She. She probably lit that crowd.
- [10:17]
A
Yes, yes.
- [10:18]
B
Probably lit them on fire.
- [10:20]
A
Like Richard lit himself on fire. He's the one that told that joke, the match and all that.
- [10:25]
B
He told how he shot. He was shooting his car so his wife could yell.
- [10:28]
A
It's so good, dude.
- [10:29]
B
Oh, that was another thing too. The way he, like the way he portrayed certain things. The way he portrayed the dog and he gave them dialogue. The way he portrayed the deer dog. Like, I'm still gonna eat him. Yeah, yeah. Dud. Life still sucks.
- [10:49]
A
All of it. So good. It's timeless. Listen, if you've never seen it and you're a true stand up fan. 1979, Richard Pryor. Which means it was probably shot in 78 if they had to do you know what I mean?
- [11:03]
B
Like a little older. It's crazy.
- [11:05]
A
Yeah, he's the. He's the greatest. He's the greatest. All right, so leaning into your story, you said you relate to three dads, two moms.
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B
Yeah.
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A
We know your past is certainly mixed and split and everything, but.
- [11:19]
B
Yeah.
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A
Recently we were talking before and you said your grandmom passed.
- [11:23]
B
Yes, it's my grandma. On my.
- [11:26]
A
Yes, I know.
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B
I got to say. Which mom? My black mom.
- [11:31]
A
Biological mom. Your biological grandma?
- [11:34]
B
Yeah, biological grandma.
- [11:35]
A
And did you have a close relationship with her at all?
- [11:37]
B
So it's interesting. This was like a time where like, you know, I lost someone and like, obviously I've known her since I was a kid, you know, I mean, like she's always been. Been in my life, you know, but it was just interesting because, like, you know, I. I didn't feel anything, which is like. Which is crazy to say. You know what I mean? Hear me out. Before you. Why did you not feel anything anyways? I just Be getting mad at. But anyways, yeah, it was the first time I didn't, like, feel that. And I. And I. And I felt. But I felt bad that I didn't feel okay. What one is supposed to feel in that situation?
- [12:10]
A
Well, let's start here with this. Was. Was this something you knew that was coming and she'd been sick for a long time?
- [12:17]
B
I think it was stomach cancer is what she had.
- [12:19]
A
And did you maybe process the grieving already and it was more of a relief that she was out of pain and stuff?
- [12:25]
B
You know what? It was.
- [12:26]
A
No, I'm trying to help.
- [12:27]
B
No, no, no, no. You're trying to help her. I don't know. You know, it's because. It's because I didn't. The, like. And I'm telling you, this woman's been in my life, you know, my. My whole life, and I've been trying, and I'm still in. In, like, the area of, like, processing all of it, because I need to, like. I'm one of those, you know, ever since Chip, you know, I just, like, dig to find the root of it all and, like, find where I can be at peace with it. Right. You know, because I. Yeah, I feel, like, guilty that I didn't feel anything, but I think it was just because I didn't get to, like, learn about her. And, you know, this. This before, like, you know, being adopted into the white family, but, like, I didn't get to. I didn't get this thing of her that, you know, you would get from a grandma, you know?
- [13:09]
A
I want to ask you this. Why. When. Why didn't she take you?
- [13:13]
B
Why did she take me? Hell, no. I won't go in there. What you talking about?
- [13:17]
A
To your mom's mom?
- [13:18]
B
Never.
- [13:19]
A
Why?
- [13:20]
B
It just wasn't that relationship. No, there's just no way.
- [13:23]
A
She never wanted to step up and say, hey, you know what?
- [13:26]
B
So, you know. You know, she. She did struggle with, like, addiction for a bit. You know what I mean? Like, she. She drank, like, a lot and stuff like that. That was, like, a big thing of hers, you know?
- [13:38]
A
Stomach cancer.
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B
No, because she stopped drinking. She stopped drinking, like, later on in life. You know what I mean? I want to say before she passed, probably, like, maybe. Maybe she stopped in, like, 2013 or 2014 or something like that or whatever. So she had stopped drinking. But, like, I mean, she did. But, like, I remember when she would. Because there was a point in time where she, like, lived with us, right. And she would get off work, and I remember this.
- [14:06]
A
What did she Do.
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B
I came. She worked for. She worked from Motorola. She's working. Remember that? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [14:12]
A
Razors. Razors ran our life. Yeah, right.
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B
Yeah. So she used to work for like the Motorola like building like headquarters or whatever. But when she would get off work, she would come home and she'd have like. She'd have a tall can of like ice house. And then it's like. Yeah, this little thing of pop off vodka rude that pop off. You can get it at like Circle K or whatever, like the corner store or whatever. And she would just.
- [14:35]
A
But like she chase it or that she'd add it.
- [14:38]
B
Now this be her. Both of them. Yep. And then she'd go to sleep and I.
- [14:42]
A
More alcohol than the like light beers.
- [14:44]
B
Yeah, that was the thing.
- [14:45]
A
Yeah.
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B
You know, and so, you know, I think the thing was it's like, you know, there was just like. Like we. I never got to connect with her because there was this disconnect of like.
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A
Seeing her even though she's in the house. She had a routine and it.
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B
Yeah, here's the thing. She was. Yeah, she was always nice to me and I was always nice to her.
- [15:03]
A
She wasn't huggy or lovey dovey, you know, Never took you out one on one like, hey, let's go do something together.
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B
I can remember, man. I remember one time though, she used to date this one dude. I remember he spanked me and my brother one time. Yeah, bro, hold up, bro.
- [15:18]
A
I remember grandma let a dude come in the house and put on her grandchildren, bro. Oh, my grandma would shot people.
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B
Hey, James, if you out there, I'm kicking you in your chest. Seriously. This was like when I was a kid. Kid. Me and my brother.
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A
But wait, what you all do?
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B
What we do? No, we. So we. We were. They let us go play outside. But we. We just went a little further. You can. We can still see the house. We just went a little further away from the house, you know, but you can still see it. And then he got mad and he spanked me and my brother with a belt. Man. I'd never forget that. He did what? Man, I hope he's still alive.
- [15:55]
A
Who went first?
- [15:57]
B
No, he attacked both of us.
- [15:58]
A
Same time?
- [15:59]
B
Yeah. You know, he just came here like it was like it was nunchucks or whatever, you know, he's. He had that Bruce Lee in him.
- [16:08]
A
And your grandma let him do that?
- [16:10]
B
Yeah, she did. But that was. Those were the days, you know, I'll.
- [16:12]
A
Tell you, they were also. I'm older than you. I will never forget one time My mom took us to, like, a friend of hers house, and they had kids that were all older than us. The youngest one was maybe two years older than us. And then it got older from there. They were already in, like, high school when we were in middle school.
- [16:29]
B
Yeah.
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A
And my mom's walking past their stepfather, and she goes, if my kids don't listen, feel free to hit them. Right? And I'm looking and. And this dude looked at us, and he looked at her. He said, I'm not hitting your kids, Judy. I've never forgot that.
- [16:48]
B
But she was dead serious.
- [16:50]
A
She was like, I'm just around. She was just like, if they don't listen, hit him.
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B
He's like.
- [16:54]
A
He's watering his lawn.
- [16:55]
B
Yeah. Yeah. James. I never. I remember that day so clearly, too. I said, we didn't even go that far anyways, so. No. Yeah. I think there was just such a strong disconnect, you know, like, she passed in January. I went to her funeral and stuff, you know, and, you know, like, I've seen these, like, younger pictures of her, you know, like, she was gorgeous, you know, gorgeous woman. And I'm just looking at these pictures, and I'm just like, man, I. I feel bad that I didn't get to, like, get that. You know what I mean? Like, I have this weird. I don't know why I have this, like, weird guilt to it, you know? Like, you know, And I'm trying to find, like, this balance of, like, understanding, like, how to, like, you know, come at peace with that. You know what I mean? Because it's one thing that, like, I feel bad.
- [17:46]
A
Well, that's what I want to talk about, because I'm no therapist or anybody. But also, you have to remember this, and I have to remember this myself, too. You were a kid.
- [17:54]
B
Yeah.
- [17:55]
A
You were a kid. The responsibility shouldn't have been on our shoulders, but it was, for sure. So you carry the responsibility. Like, how did I fail that? What could I have done differently now that you're older? But the truth is. Nothing.
- [18:11]
B
Yeah.
- [18:11]
A
Nothing.
- [18:12]
B
Yeah, I think. Yeah.
- [18:13]
A
You know, if you're gonna get whooped with a belt, y' all should have gone to the lake, fishing and shit. You know what I mean? Not just off the property attack.
- [18:21]
B
I know. Yeah. We could have done way worse. Way worse, man. Me and my brother, we were crazy.
- [18:26]
A
Bikes and shit.
- [18:27]
B
Yeah. We could have done so much worse, man. I want to suck that dude in the face.
- [18:32]
A
Was he at the funeral?
- [18:34]
B
No. I haven't seen him in years. I ain't seen. I ain't seen him in a long time, but every time he would come through, you know, I think he was with my grandma for, like, I don't know how many years. But, you know, every time he come through, I'd still be mean mugging him as a kid. Yeah, bro, looking at. I can't wait till your hip breaks. That's what I'm gonna rain elbows, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, you got a new hip. Yeah. Not as good as that other one, huh? Yeah, yeah, right. And my brother loved wrestling him up, man. Old man now, too.
- [19:09]
A
He's all sad, pathetic.
- [19:12]
B
Let's run it back. That was the funny thing. It's funny. So my stepdad, you know, I used to be terrified of that, man. I used to be terrified of my stepdad so bad because, I mean, he was crazy, you know? And I remember, you know, there was one day I was. This is like, when I was, like, getting reconnected back with my biological mom or whatever, and they were. They were still, you know, together partially. You know, they were on their way out of their relationship. I just remember sitting at her house, looking at Jerry, and I'm looking at him, I'm like, oh, so you've been five. Five this whole time? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, okay, okay, okay. I was like, I'm 220. What's good? You might be a little Tasmanian devil. I was like, come on, be careful.
- [19:55]
A
This little guy.
- [19:56]
B
But it was just so crazy, you know? You never think about that. Because when I'm a kid, like, he's like the biggest thing in the world to me.
- [20:01]
A
Everything's.
- [20:01]
B
Yeah.
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A
And then you go back to an old house and you walk through, like, this is so much smaller.
- [20:05]
B
It's so much smaller than I. And then. Yeah. Seeing them sit there, and I'm like, this is the dude that was running it on me. I'm like, bro, let's run it back. Let's run it back.
- [20:16]
A
Three point stance.
- [20:16]
B
Yeah, Right.
- [20:17]
A
You just got to do it respectfully. You gotta be. Let's all go play some football. Go yard.
- [20:21]
B
You know, I mean, a guy put.
- [20:22]
A
That shoulder in that ch.
- [20:24]
B
No. You know what's crazy? My. My stepdad, he's short, but he was really good. He really good at basketball. That was one of the.
- [20:30]
A
I remember you saying that. Yeah, he was good.
- [20:31]
B
Yeah. Break dancing and basket break. He's princess.
- [20:34]
A
He's like, seriously.
- [20:36]
B
And they got the same skin tone, which is funny. And the same, like, curly hair or whatever. He's a goat. I love. I know. He's a Go. But, yeah, but, yeah, it was just funny seeing him and realizing, like, how short he was.
- [20:47]
A
I'm like, man, let's go back to guilt. Why? What is it you feel guilty about? You feel. Is guilt really the right feeling? Do you know if that really.
- [20:58]
B
If it's guilt or whatever, but, like, I feel guilty that I don't. That I didn't feel anything. You know what I mean? Like, I remember when my, you know, when my mom told me about it or whatever, you know, and called me that day, I was just like. I just felt. I was like, am I dead on the inside? You know what I mean? Sometimes I'd be thinking that, you know, but sometimes it's like there's. There's a deeper, you know, reasoning as to why. It's not like I'm trying. I'm trying to feel that way.
- [21:23]
A
Well, if you were dead on the inside, you wouldn't be searching for all these answers and you would just accept it. Zombie through life.
- [21:29]
B
Exactly. Yeah.
- [21:30]
A
Wonder one bit about what's this doing to me. Not even one level lower. You just. Zombie. Like. Like, all drugged out.
- [21:38]
B
Yeah. And I think that makes sense because this. And I think this is why I feel you just made me realize something. Is because, like, whenever I did, like, all my anger outbursts and anything that I did to people, I never felt bad afterwards. Like, all the things I did when I swung on those teachers. So do something about it. You know, I just. I just never felt bad about the things I, like, did to people. You know what I mean? Because. Because everything I thought, you know, I thought that was like, you know, I get. They deserved it. Yeah. They made me mad. That's. Yeah, you feel better. That's what you got.
- [22:14]
A
You feel bad about it or do you just look back at it?
- [22:17]
B
Some of that I don't.
- [22:18]
A
Yeah. But listen, I don't blame you.
- [22:21]
B
I don't blame you a lot. A lot of. A lot of the things. Yes, 1,000%. You know, I do feel bad for, like, a lot of the things I did to people back in the day. But, like, you know, like I said, some of those things, you know, they don't have to see me again. But anyways. Yeah. So I think, you know, knowing that and, like, having that kind of, like, where I never felt bad about the things that I did to people, and then, like, having this feeling where I don't feel bad about this, it makes me like, you know, like, I think it just triggers back to, like, that time when I didn't feel bad about the things. If that makes sense, you know? So I think that's why it's, like, playing with my head so much, you know? And here's the thing. Like, I never looked at her, like, crazy or whatever. Like. Like. Like she was lame or something like that. It just. It was just like nothing. You know what I mean? But this is my. Yeah, you know what I mean? But this is like my blood. You know what I mean? And she always said, you know, nice. Nice things or whatever, but I just never. I just. I guess I just. I felt bad that I didn't get the relationship that I, you know, would have wanted to, you know. Like. You know, like, I feel that with, you know, grandparents. You know, I didn't even know my dad's. My biological dad's grandparents, but I, you know, I know, you know, from what I remember, they would, like, bring me and my brother, like, toys and stuff or whatever on my father's behalf, you know, But. But I. I didn't get to know them. So, like, you know, being at my. That grandma's funeral, I didn't feel anything either. You know what I mean? So I'm like, you know, just trying not to. I don't want to feel dead on the inside. You know what I mean?
- [23:54]
A
Let me ask you this. The white family that. Are they all alive and well?
- [23:59]
B
Yeah.
- [24:00]
A
If any of them passed away right now, do you think you'd be pretty fucking upset at their funeral?
- [24:05]
B
Yeah, probably. Yeah. Yeah. I think it's just because the way. The way that relationship worked out, you know what I mean? I think it's. I think it's just because. Because that was. I think I want to say that was the first time I ever felt like what a family was. You know what I mean? Not that I was searching, like, what does family feel like? I thought what I was living in was just, this is life. You know what I mean? Yeah.
- [24:31]
A
It is your life.
- [24:32]
B
It is. Yeah. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. Like, this is what my life is. So seeing this side of, like, you know, we, you know, you encourage your. Each other. You're. You're. You're saying nice things about it. You know, you're just taking care of each other. There's this, like, level of comfort. You want everyone in the house to feel good and, you know, like, that I'd like, you know, being adopted into, you know, with my white folk, that. That's what, like, the feeling I got. So I think I would, you know, Whereas, like, where I came from previously, I didn't feel that. You know what I mean? Like, and I try to explain, like, a lot of this stuff in my standup, but like. But like, the thing is, is like. Like, over time, I've been able to, like, you know, have love for, you know, this. This part of the family, you know, I've been able to like, feel that and stuff like that, you know, and. And a little bit more.
- [25:22]
A
How old are you now?
- [25:23]
B
38.
- [25:24]
A
Yeah. Bro, you got a minute? Here's what. Here's what I. And my opinion counts for nothing, but here's what I think.
- [25:34]
B
But. But I love. I love these conversations. Conversation is always good inside.
- [25:36]
A
I think it's about the connection you have with that person, whatever that is.
- [25:42]
B
Yeah.
- [25:42]
A
You know, and then there's times where you also cry or you. You mourn. What could have been, what should have been. Not necessarily the. The. This person dying, but this whole relationship that should have gone another way could have gone another way.
- [26:01]
B
That's true. Yeah. Yeah.
- [26:01]
A
But you're left here to deal with that. They're gone. And in the time they had all that time to.
- [26:07]
B
To.
- [26:07]
A
To make that also work, for sure.
- [26:10]
B
I guess it goes both ways. Yeah.
- [26:12]
A
But when it's two adults, that's one thing. When it's an adult and a child, it's on that adult to.
- [26:18]
B
Yeah.
- [26:18]
A
Initiate. Especially if you're in the fucking house.
- [26:22]
B
Yeah.
- [26:23]
A
You know what I mean? So, I mean, my grandma lived with us. My mom's mom lived with us for a few years. And she was not lovey dovey, you know what I mean? But she was also there. But she was. Then she stepped up. It wasn't until my so went down in the family where she stepped up and she's like, no, no, no, that your mom's wrong, your dad's right and your kids are right. And I was like, oh, yeah, you're right.
- [26:55]
B
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [26:57]
A
Yep. So I think it's really about that connection with someone you have, and no matter who it is.
- [27:03]
B
Yeah.
- [27:04]
A
Is there someone who's the closest person in your life? If they died to you, would you be sad?
- [27:08]
B
Yeah, of course. Yeah. 1,000. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I guess.
- [27:12]
A
But I don't think that applies across the board to every single person in our life. Some of them you're like, that's a damn shame. You know what I mean?
- [27:18]
B
And you mean it.
- [27:19]
A
It's not like they were a thing like, oh, that sucks, man.
- [27:21]
B
He's gone.
- [27:22]
A
Oh, yeah.
- [27:23]
B
But like, I was, you know, like I said, they, you know, they had this montage of pictures of her at the funeral. And I was like, man, I wish. I wish I could have known that lady. I wish I got to, like, know that. That person right there, you know, I wish I got to.
- [27:34]
A
Did anyone. Did they get up and speak? Did you hear things you never heard about?
- [27:38]
B
Exactly. Yeah, I did. And I was just like, wow. Like, this is what I. Like, I felt like I missed out on.
- [27:43]
A
Would you hear that?
- [27:44]
B
You.
- [27:44]
A
Would you learn about or you didn't?
- [27:46]
B
Just like, her presence and, like, you know, she was such a big ball of energy towards a lot of people. A lot of people spoke.
- [27:53]
A
You're like, not in this house. Yeah, yeah.
- [27:55]
B
I was just like, y' all must have got that. Yeah, I was like jews on the ice house and papa when I saw her. I mean, just chilling, Just chilling. You know what I mean? I'm like, grandma, what'd that taste like? You know, she gave me one. She gave me one that was. She gave me one sip. One sip. No, no, no.
- [28:14]
A
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- [29:42]
B
But yeah, like, you know, there was a point in time where, like, and I. I felt guilt in a lot of areas, you know, like when. When I was adopted into the. To the family you know, I felt guilt that my siblings were still in that household. You know what I mean? I felt guilt on a, on a weird, like, black level that I'm like, I live with white people, you know what I mean? Like, I felt this, like, you know, I feel like, imposter, imposter. You know, I was like, Malcolm X gonna come after me. You know, the white man. No, I'm just kidding. But yeah, I felt that like in all these areas. So, yeah, like, I think, you know, at times I do still feel that in the weirdest ways and you know, trying to like dissect that, you know, like, like everyone thinks I walk around life so smoothly and for the most part I do, but there's a lot of things that I do, you know, I feel like I still struggle with, you know, family wise, you know, and, and I've gotten better about it and you know, doing this comedy special, three dads, two Moms, you know, was like, I talked about things that I thought I would never ever talk about as a stand up comedian. Like, you know, I never, I never wanted to express that I was like living with a white family.
- [30:57]
A
Why?
- [30:58]
B
It was just like, you know, because it wasn't my family. I wasn't born into that family. And you know, but also I didn't want to express the things about like, where I came from. You know what I mean? It's like, yeah, I felt like I was not that I was like a judgment thing. It was just like, I just didn't feel comfortable expressing that. You know what I mean? So it took me a little bit to like, you know, it's like, how do you find the funny in that? You know, because it was a weird, all of it was a weird time for me, you know what I mean?
- [31:27]
A
It's also an angry man who's got to be completely vulnerable.
- [31:32]
B
Yeah.
- [31:32]
A
To a crowd of people who are 100 going to be judgmental.
- [31:36]
B
Good or bad, Good or bad, you know, Good or bad, you know, and.
- [31:41]
A
And look at you letting your shoulders down.
- [31:43]
B
Yeah. Over the years.
- [31:44]
A
Yeah, over the years.
- [31:45]
B
Over the years. It ain't easy. It ain't easy.
- [31:51]
A
You know, my suggestion, one at a.
- [31:53]
B
Time, listen, I'll tell you, I'll tell you. Keep one up, man.
- [31:57]
A
If I could go back, I wouldn't both equally drop them like this out of still.
- [32:02]
B
Yeah, yeah, I know. Listen, I'm doing better with the family. Like, I don't have like no anger towards them, but like, man, there's still people I see that I grew up with and they'll run it to me. They're like, man, it's so good seeing you killing it. I'm like, oh, man, I appreciate that. And I, and I'm always like, in the back of my head, I'm like, remember what you said to me in sixth grade? Yeah. Because I remember that.
- [32:21]
A
My house.
- [32:22]
B
Exactly. I be thinking that all the time. I'm like, man, you really talk to me so crazy. I should beat your ass right now. But you know, it's. It. But like, so, but, you know, I, I, I feel like I am getting better. You know what I mean? You are.
- [32:36]
A
And the success is the old. That's the new version of whipping their ass.
- [32:40]
B
Yeah. Yes.
- [32:41]
A
Your success is the. You can't be putting hands on people anymore. You're almost 40. You can't be fist fighting in your 30s and 40s unless it's for real self defense. You can't just be pop. You can't just be what you say.
- [32:53]
B
You can't be doing that. And I've been doing pretty good. Yeah, you can't be doing that there. Yo, there's, there are. But I just feel it. That's the initial feeling. So.
- [33:02]
A
Yes.
- [33:03]
B
So, like, whenever it's, I'm at a, like a, you know, something happens out of pocket, my initial feeling is I'm already dissecting how I'm gonna beat their ass. I'm already dissecting, like, the type of things I want to do to that person. You know what I mean? And it takes me forever. Like, you know, it took me longer back in the day. Now it takes a little bit, but it takes me a bit to like, get that out of my head, you know what I mean? Because I just feel it. And I know I'm not the only person. At first I thought I was, you know what I mean? And I know I'm not the only person, which makes me not feel as crazy that a lot of people connect with that, because, you know, I do have that feeling, you know, Like, I mean, the hate I had for my stepdad, the hate was just so, so, so, so strong, you know, and, and I'm glad I took the time to learn and educate myself about who that man was. And it's like, here's his past, here's what he went through. And then you're like, oh, my God, that word empathy. That's what I realized in prior special. In order for him to do all the things that there's a level of empathy you have to have as a human. You know what I Mean. And he had that. And. And so I think about that, like, when I. As. I'm like, putting these jokes out and, like, writing these things, like, you know, like, my. My dad went back to prison recently.
- [34:27]
A
He did?
- [34:27]
B
For what?
- [34:29]
A
Which dad? Which of the three.
- [34:32]
B
Which of the white dad this time? I'm just kidding. Everyone is a white dad. Yeah. Yeah. He's like, I did what? I never did that. No. My biological dog, the one that's been in and out, like, you know, and it was for some old or whatever that he got caught up on or whatever, you know, but, like, he. He was. He. And he's been doing good. He. You know, he's been doing good. Like, he, you know, he. He had been out for, like, prior to this recent time going in, he had been out like 16 years or whatever. So he had. He had a good run, but I felt like he had one more in him. But. But now he. He, you know, he found church, he found God, and he found, like, this, like. Like, you know, beautiful wife. And, you know, they're. He's super grounded and stuff like that. And, you know, you know, as he's moving forward in life and pushing himself at, you know, this. This old thing just had to resurface or whatever and got him. And, you know. But he, you know, he said something really cool. You know, he goes. You know, I feel like. He goes. I feel like this is like a test of, like, you know, are you really trying to make yourself better? You know what I mean? Like, he. Like, he's taking it in such a positive way instead of like a way of like, you know, now I'm back to that. To that life, you know, now I'm back to, like, you know, like, it's. It's. It's not making him feel like he's gone backwards, you know, as much as, like, you know, he goes, this is like a lesson. This is a thing. And it's like, you know, and it's like, okay, do you. Do you really want to stay on this path, or you want to go back to that. To that. To the old self, you know, and because. Because he's been calling me, you know, while he's been in there, and he's. He's been speaking very, you know, such positive ways. You know what I mean? And. But, yeah, and he. He goes, you've been doing jokes about me going back to prison. I said, you up?
- [36:15]
A
Yeah.
- [36:16]
B
I was like, I got a ton. You know what I mean? But it's. But it's cool with it. You know, I'm not, like, making him feel bad or whatever, which is funny, but, you know, but yeah, being an adult, like, you know, I'm 38, you know, because. Because I only knew him to be in prison. Like, that's what I knew of him. But. But before I even know who he was and knew I had a father, like, I just didn't know. And then, like, so prison. And then he's in prison or whatever, you know, but knowing him now, like, you know, reconnecting, like, seven or eight years ago and then him going back, you know, that's like a. You know, like I'm juggling these kind of, like, emotions with that because it's like, okay, is he. Is he just going to be that guy, or is he trying to be a better guy? You know what I mean? And through talking to him, hearing his story and hearing what it is, he is trying to be a better guy. You know, it's just some shit that just. Old shit just resurfaced. You know what I mean?
- [37:12]
A
But what you're doing, though, is breaking cycles. Like, that generation of guys didn't think beyond just themselves. You're trying to be like, okay, I need to figure this out for me, and also let me understand why he was that way. They never did that. Yeah, they never did that. So it's on us now to break the cycle. Because you don't want to continue to be like that. You don't want to, because right now you could 100 fall in line with the way your father was. You could be angry. Man, that's in and out of jail.
- [37:44]
B
I'm not fit to be a gangster, tell you that much.
- [37:46]
A
I was a cheerleader with no parents from 16 on. Could easily be a drug addict, whatever, dead by now, whatever, for sure. Easily. But we decided we didn't want that, and we've moved forward. And then with that comes like, all right, I'm good. Why the did all that happen? Yeah, you start diving into these people who brought you up. You're like, oh, my God. They had kids when they were this age, and they were this, and they were this, and they were this. And the puzzle starts to make a little more sense.
- [38:15]
B
And people don't realize, like, it's. It's actually very tough because, you know, I've been reading a lot of James Baldwin one and in one of his books, he says this line that just really hit me. He goes, parents lift up the world for their children. And I saw this image of a parent holding up the world and their Child being under them. And basically the parent explained it. This is this, this, and this. And that is a very true, true, true thing. So whether they're telling you, showing you the good side of the world or the bad side of the world, they do lift up the world for you. So, like, my idea of the world, you know, was through the. Like, as a kid was through the lens of my stepfather and my mom, and then all of a sudden, my adoptive folks and then biological father, like, I'm learning, you know, these things of the world. Through them, I'm like, what is this world? You know what I mean? And so, yeah, like. And it makes you go, how do. How do I figure this out? Well, like, none of this makes any sense. You know what I mean? Like, how do I have a dad when he's in prison? That was me as a kid thinking that I was like, how do I have a dad but he's locked up? How. You know what I mean? Like, how does. How does that come about? And, you know, and, you know, I was told my stepdad was my dad, but I never called him dad. You know, I always called him by his name. And then, you know, like, it's just. It's just a. Like, it messes with a. With a person's brain. And, you know, it is. It is. It is not an easy thing to break that kind of cycle. You know what I mean? And I think the best way that I've been able to do it is through education. You know what I mean? I think education. And I'm not talking about, like, reading a book in school. It's like reading a book about, you know, or just learning about life and other people's lives and understanding what other people go through and having, you know. You know, if you don't have that empathy, then, yeah, you. That. That's what makes you dead inside.
- [40:21]
A
Yeah.
- [40:22]
B
You know, I mean, if you don't understand the level of empathy of, like, man, hey, this, like, kid, you know, he's going through this right now. You know, you think this kid's acting up in class right now, but, you know, what's going on? What's going on at home? You know, I remember when I used to. When I used to coach cheerleading, you know, whenever a kid was, like, trying to get a new skill, they were trying to get a back handspring or something, but they would struggle with it. They would have these mental blocks. They'd be terrified, terrified, terrified, terrified. And I always realized there was something deeper than that. It was something that was going on at home, you know what I mean? Because it's like, why can't this kid learn this? You know what I mean? Why can't this kid understand that what is being taught to them outside of this world, outside of the world of cheerleading, that is making them come into the world of cheerleading? And it's like me with school, you know what I mean? Like, I was doing terrible. I was acting up, but no one ever asked what was going on at home. What's going on at home. You all right? Are you in a safe space? You know, and here's the thing. I didn't even get that. Get to understand that until I was in my twenties, you know what I mean? That was on second anger management teacher. Yes, second. You know what I mean? So second anger management teacher is when I'm learning what my life is, I'm like, this is really my life. I was like, man, that's scary. Like, I was scary. I was embarrassed, you know, and it just made me, like, you know, for a little bit, it just made me want to, like, you know, just, you know, shove it all down and stuff like that. And, you know. But luckily, you know, through the wonderful world of anger management, them helping me out, they helped me understand, like. Like. But here's what you're going to do with it, you know, you're good, you're okay. You're a safe space now. But here's what you're going to do with it. You know what I mean? So. But. But like I said, I still have my struggles.
- [42:07]
A
I don't know if this is a popular opinion or an unpopular opinion, but for people like us, I firmly believe that that chip on our shoulder is what got us where we are. I think that we're wired to be like, huh?
- [42:21]
B
One of those.
- [42:23]
A
We're wired.
- [42:26]
B
Yeah, yeah.
- [42:26]
A
Just immediately is that guy talking to me right away. That's like the. Immediately we're reactive people. Instead of, you know, think first and breathe and then let just. Yeah, we're going to react. We're going to react, and then we're going to.
- [42:44]
B
Everything. Everything is reaction.
- [42:46]
A
Okay, all right, all right.
- [42:47]
B
You did this. I'm reacting immediately, you know?
- [42:50]
A
Yeah. But that anger and that chip on your shoulder also has protected you all this time. It's got you where you are, so it's hard to let it go. You gotta. Over the years, you gotta, you know, taper it down. You have to. You have to. That. That anger, that what the. That is. It's a. It's a killer for everything. It's a killer for your energy, relationships, all that. That angry person, man.
- [43:16]
B
You know how many books I'll be reading at once? Because I'll be so angry. I'll be. I'll, like. I'll read about reading the book. Yeah, yeah, right.
- [43:23]
A
Read somebody goddamn book.
- [43:24]
B
Yeah, right. Reading so many. Like, I'll just read.
- [43:26]
A
There's a book called. You're reading too much.
- [43:28]
B
Yeah. Yeah, right? Yeah, yeah, check that out. No, but I, you know, like, like I said, just, like, you know, I. Like when things make me mad now. Yeah. I really just try to, like, read a book. Read something that, like, gives you some insight on how to, like, you know, loosen this tension. You know what I mean? Like, that's, like, that. My biggest thing is reading. Reading and journaling, Obviously, I think you know that part. But if I. Yeah, if I didn't have books, man, y' all be in trouble.
- [44:00]
A
Do you want kids?
- [44:01]
B
Well, I'll be in trouble. Do I want kids? Nah, I don't know.
- [44:08]
A
Then I'm. I'm not. No judgment. When you say no, is it because you just don't want kids? Are you worried about bringing a kid up and sort of the way you grew up? Are you worried it. That you won't be a good parent? Are you worried that you'll be like your parents? I was worried about being like my mom when I had a kid. Then I was like, of course I love my kid. What the fuck's my reality?
- [44:29]
B
Yeah. Oh, you know what, man? You know, I guess. I don't know. I guess I'm kind of 50. 50 with it, like, you know, with having a kid and stuff like that. I mean, you know, I do think I'd be the best that I could be. You know what I mean? But, yeah, I don't. I don't know. I said no at first, but now I'm thinking about. I don't know. You know, I don't know.
- [44:52]
A
The girl came to you right now and said, hey, I'm pregnant. It's yours. Are you all in on.
- [44:57]
B
I'm celibate.
- [45:01]
A
Are you all in on it?
- [45:02]
B
I'm so.
- [45:04]
A
That all that's gonna get you is 100 DM's?
- [45:13]
B
She came to me, says, yeah, then I'll take action for sure.
- [45:15]
A
I'm saying, would you lean into being a dad and all that?
- [45:18]
B
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'd make it dope.
- [45:21]
A
Have you. I'd make it, though. Have you had a conversation with your mom about your grandma, her mom passing?
- [45:29]
B
No.
- [45:30]
A
No. Did you see her at the. Was she. Was everyone at the funeral?
- [45:33]
B
Everyone's there, yeah.
- [45:34]
A
And you didn't talk about that. Did she cry?
- [45:37]
B
Yeah, she was emotional. Yeah.
- [45:38]
A
Were they close?
- [45:40]
B
Yeah, yeah, they were. Yeah. Yeah. They live like down the street from each other.
- [45:44]
A
Really?
- [45:45]
B
Yeah. I mean, she's always been around and stuff like that, but. Yeah, I mean, I think, yeah, maybe, maybe, maybe that's what I need to do, you know, like I had, you know, you know, the way I learned about my stepdad was, you know, through my mom telling me that, you know, these, you know, these more in depth things about him.
- [46:02]
A
Oh, you mean how you learned his history and all that? Yeah, it was through your mom.
- [46:06]
B
It was because I never, I was just like, yeah, tell me, tell me about him. I was like, what is. Yeah, what is his story? Because I didn't know. I didn't know his. I didn't know his origin story at all. I just knew what he was in those moments. You know what I mean? That's all, that's all I knew about him. So maybe, maybe that's where I, you know, get the education on my, you know, my grandma, like her, her. Her origins and what it was for her, you know, because. Yeah, I don't go to like the family reunions or anything like that.
- [46:34]
A
They have.
- [46:34]
B
Oh yeah, they have one like this past weekend.
- [46:37]
A
Why don't you go.
- [46:39]
B
I don't know. I don't know.
- [46:42]
A
What do you would not want to.
- [46:44]
B
I don't know.
- [46:45]
A
Listen, I used to be the same way. That, that shifted in my 40s and I'm like, I'm rolling up in this. Y' all don't like me, I'm out.
- [46:52]
B
I got keys. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah.
- [46:55]
A
I'm not the same, same 16 year old anymore. I got keys.
- [46:57]
B
Yeah, bro, I can drive my car right there. Get right the out.
- [47:01]
A
It's right there as me right there.
- [47:03]
B
I pull right up front. Yeah, Yeah. I mean, I don't know. I don't know. It's.
- [47:08]
A
Are there people that will be there, you know, that will be there that you don't even want to deal with? Is that part of it or are you just feel like weird? Does that feel.
- [47:17]
B
It's uncomfortable for sure. Uncomfortable, you know, because I don't know.
- [47:20]
A
Is it mom's side of the family or dad's?
- [47:22]
B
Yeah, it was my mom's side of the family.
- [47:24]
A
And is it? Yeah.
- [47:24]
B
But my, my dad's side of my biological. Biological dads, they do the family reunion thing too. They all, they both do them, but I just. I don't know.
- [47:36]
A
They do big because also, I'm still.
- [47:37]
B
Getting to learn, like, a lot of people, especially on my dad's side.
- [47:40]
A
Stay off that 23, you know?
- [47:42]
B
Right. That's what I'm saying. I'm like, I'm not even touching it. I don't want to know. You know? Like, I'm still learning.
- [47:48]
A
Like, got nine new brothers, and like.
- [47:52]
B
What are y' all doing out there? I don't want to know. I don't want to know at all. I don't want to know. I was like, listen, man, they already got me up, you know, So I was like, I don't need anything else. Just let me have this right now. This is great, you know, this is. You know, because, man, they throw a lot of curve balls at me. I mean, you know. You know, the thing was, like, my mom, my family always kept secrets from me.
- [48:18]
A
That's the other thing I was about to say. When you go to those family reunions, that's when you do hear shit.
- [48:22]
B
Yeah.
- [48:22]
A
Wait, what?
- [48:23]
B
Yeah.
- [48:23]
A
Y' all didn't know that? Oh, yeah.
- [48:25]
B
You're like, what?
- [48:26]
A
Yeah. And then it's old hat.
- [48:28]
B
The thing was, like, everyone knew I had a dad, but.
- [48:30]
A
But me at the family reunion or growing up, growing up until when?
- [48:35]
B
My brother, I didn't learn about him till I think I was, like, 10 or 11.
- [48:39]
A
The whole family was able not to slip up. Not a cousin or anybody. That's crazy.
- [48:44]
B
No one.
- [48:44]
A
That's. The odds of that are crazy, crazy, crazy. Now, once you found out, that's when the reunion started. All right?
- [48:51]
B
Everybody. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I was like. Like, yeah. I. I. You know, my brother knew who he was. You know, my. My sister. Everybody in the family knew, but I had no clue. It's crazy. I don't. I don't know why. And then, you know, they. They do that a lot with me, you know, they do that a lot where they, you know, they just keep. And they just continue to keep, like, things away from me, like, you know, the secrets and stuff like that. I think it, you know, that was me growing up. You know, I did ask my mom why, you know what I mean? She was just like, she. She said. What did she say? She said, it's because the way you were treated, you know, and you. You were already going through such hard stuff with the relationship with my stepdad, you know, and all, and so that whole business. So to throw more on me, she just didn't want to, you know what I mean? Which I mean, I. I guess I understand that. I don't know.
- [49:45]
A
I can't tell you how many times my grandma would say, we'll tell you when you're older.
- [49:49]
B
Yeah.
- [49:50]
A
And then at 16, they all died. And I'm like, he's telling us now.
- [49:55]
B
Yeah. Where? The information. Tell us you died with that. Yeah.
- [50:00]
A
I hate that.
- [50:01]
B
Yeah. I know.
- [50:02]
A
Always that. I know they're doing it to protect you or whatever, but.
- [50:05]
B
Yeah.
- [50:06]
A
Yeah, man, are they leaving you with some problems.
- [50:08]
B
That's what I had to realize. The one thing I had to realize is that at the end of the day, I think. I think they were doing the best that they could do with what they had. You know what I mean? I don't know if my dad was like, you know, wanting a drug dealer, but I think he just saw a way he made quick money, you know what I mean? And, you know, he's like, oh, I could buy this for my family. I can buy this for my family. I can buy that. You know what I mean? My stepdad, if I had to narrow it down, I just think he didn't have had a dad in his life, so he was just like, okay, I need to be. You know, what he thought he was doing was the best. You know what I mean? Like, what my mom was doing, she thought was the best. I think they all thought that, you know, and so it's like, can I. Can I, you know, blame them for, like. For that? I mean, they were only going off what they knew, you know, I'd probably be the same if I didn't educate myself, if I didn't, like, if I didn't get the, you know, the knowledge that I have now, you know, I probably.
- [51:07]
A
That's what I'm saying. Exactly. That's where it drops on this. This cycle, this generation. For you.
- [51:13]
B
Yeah.
- [51:14]
A
Is you starting this?
- [51:16]
B
Yeah.
- [51:16]
A
You know, you have a kid, and your grand. Your grandson's probably gonna be a wonderful young man.
- [51:24]
B
He'll be a scholar.
- [51:25]
A
It might be my great grandson.
- [51:27]
B
Yeah.
- [51:27]
A
Right. Get this anger out of my ass.
- [51:29]
B
Exactly. You know? Yeah. Yeah. I mean. Yeah. I mean, I don't know. I guess, like, as far as the kid thing goes. Yeah. I would love to pass down this knowledge to. To a seed that. That would. That would be dope.
- [51:41]
A
Or at least do you. Big brother. Do you mentor or anything like that?
- [51:44]
B
Yeah. My best friend. My best friend's kid. My best friend who passed away in, like, 09. His. His son. Yeah. I. I get a lot. Give a lot of love and a Lot of. Okay, good knowledge.
- [51:54]
A
Somebody needs it. Don't just keep that to yourself. You went through all this waste just to keep it to yourself, you know.
- [52:01]
B
But, yeah, I do try to deliver it out there for sure, you know. And, you know, I mean, oddly enough, you know, I will have, like, a ton of people that'll just, like, reach out to me, asking me questions on, like, how to be better, you know, And I'm like, there's nothing I could. I can physically do for you other than, like, show you the things that, like, I've, you know, these foundational things that I have learned that can kind of just. You can use for the rest of your life, you know, I have. I have that kind of knowledge. But. Yeah, well, my best friend's kid, you know, he's. He's 18. He just joined the Air Force or whatever. I think he just finished his. What do you call it, basic or something like that. Just finished his basic and stuff like that. And, you know, he didn't get to know his. He was three years old when his dad had died. So, you know, but he'll always ask me, like, tell me a story about my dad. You know, I'll tell him stories about his dad. And, you know, I try to give him as much life as life advice as I can. And his grandpa is really good in his life. His grandpa was in the. The Air Force, which is why he, you know, wanted to go to the Air Force and, you know, make his granddaddy proud and stuff like that. You know, he's. And he's. He's doing really good. You know, he's doing really good. But, yeah, I think when. Yeah, when his. When his dad had died, I was just. That was one. I just immediately turned to the. I just immediately thought of his son. Immediately was just like, that's, you know, that's a baby, you know. You know, he don't have his dad. You know what I mean? And, you know, and I'm over here with three dads. Yeah, you got three of them, man. I got one. I got one for you, though. You know what I mean? Like. Like, but. But it's cool to teach him, you know, and. And you know, and kind of guide him as best as I can, you know, with just life, you know what I mean? And. And, you know, he's smarter than me. Books, all that, bro. Don't even ask me, you know, he. He got all that, you know, he can have that. He can have. I'll let him have that. But, like, as far as, like, you Know just life and just how to roll with it and roll through it and, you know, because. Yeah, there's gotta be something there, you know, Because I know what it feels like to be left out of something that you don't know that is a part of your life. And he didn't get to know his dad, so there's this thing of, like, this frustration where you don't get to know. You know what I mean? And you're like trying to know. So I try to give as much information about his father as I can.
- [54:12]
A
That's great.
- [54:13]
B
Yeah.
- [54:14]
A
All right. I wish we did family reunions. Ours were. Unfortunately, it was funerals, right? It was one a year, everybody, minimum. And we'd all be there, you know, how you doing? It was never. Let's go play games.
- [54:29]
B
Yeah. No.
- [54:30]
A
Hey, man, how you believe. It's another one, man.
- [54:32]
B
Yeah, white people do family reunions, right?
- [54:35]
A
I don't. I know. Black people do it way more than white people. Way more. You all get shirts, y' all.
- [54:40]
B
Yeah, y' all got the shirt.
- [54:45]
A
The lazy family. Yeah, white people. I don't know why we don't do it as much. I don't know.
- [54:52]
B
They don't. They don't do it as. That is so funny, man.
- [54:57]
A
You know, I used to go to the park with my daughter all the time. I was king of the park. The parks are free.
- [55:03]
B
You know what I mean? Parks are free.
- [55:04]
A
The parks over here, like, there's another.
- [55:07]
B
But they show up. They show up.
- [55:09]
A
There's a bunch of them showing up. Yes.
- [55:12]
B
That's so funny.
- [55:13]
A
I only. I've told this story a bunch, but I'll tell you quickly, just cuz it relates. You'll laugh at this. I've only been to one family recently, reunion, and it was by accident. I happened to be back in Baltimore visiting family and my Aunt Marguerite, my great aunt, my grandmom's sister, they're all dead at this time. She's like, hey, you know there's a family reunion tomorrow up in New Jersey, in Trenton, New Jersey. I'm like, nah. She goes, yeah, we're going. Why don't you just come with us? I go, nah, you got an rsvp. She's like, just come with us. I said, okay. So we all roll up and it's outside at this fucking park. It's. There's maybe 25 people. It ain't a lot, really. It ain't. It may be less and there's no shirts. It's humid as There's a mall right next Door. We halfway through. I was like, man, it's too hot. We all went into the mall. The cool. It was miserable. We come back, and then they're doing, like, prizes.
- [56:06]
B
Yes.
- [56:06]
A
And they're like, I don't know the oldest person here who's the oldest relative, whatever.
- [56:11]
B
They're playing games. Yeah, like that.
- [56:13]
A
Like awards. Like trophies. Not games, but like that, Right, bro?
- [56:17]
B
Bro. I never heard of no awards at no family reunion. Wait, y' all don't see each other often? Wait to hear it. Oh, no.
- [56:24]
A
So somebody says, okay, and the award for the. The person who traveled the farthest is, you know, Lindsay from Texas. And my aunt Marguerite goes, ah. Ah, California. Right here. Well, remember, I didn't rsvp.
- [56:38]
B
Yeah, yeah.
- [56:38]
A
And they're like, what? She's like, ah, he came from California. Like, did you. I go, yeah. And they come over and they're like, okay. And they. They tentatively give me this trophy. Like, here you go, right? She's like, look at that. So they keep doing whatever. At the end of the reunion, they come over to me and they say, hey, could we get the trophy? We'd like to engrave it for you and send it to you. And I said, yeah, sure. And I never saw that motherfucker. Never saw it again.
- [57:05]
B
Because it went back to Lindsay. It went back to Lindsay. It went back back to Lindsay. That's where it went. It did. Of course, Lind, if you out there. Yeah. Enjoy that trophy. Said it went to her ass, cuz, you know, he won. That's the only time I've been to reunion.
- [57:18]
A
I ain't going to another.
- [57:20]
B
Yeah. He said 25 people. They took my trophy, bro. Yeah, we just want to engrave it. We just want to engrave it.
- [57:29]
A
Oh, Chappelle Lacy, thank you for coming on. Thank you for having me. It's always fun talking to you.
- [57:33]
B
This is always fun.
- [57:35]
A
Thank you. One more time. Promote all of it, please.
- [57:37]
B
Oh, yeah. So. Oh, I got it right now. I got you right now. Hold on. I will be everywhere World tour. I'm just kidding. No. So I'll be in San Fran May 21st, Sacramento, May 22nd, Columbus, 7 12. And then Virginia beach and Richmond, June 11th and 12th. And then there's more. More tour dates that are coming.
- [58:02]
A
Say, say where all you can find all your dates.
- [58:05]
B
All my dates are chappellec.com. you're special. Special. 3 Dads, 2 Moms. On YouTube through Don't Tell Comedy. If you just type in 3 Dads, 2 Moms, it is your first.
- [58:15]
A
I'm gonna say it's probably the only.
- [58:17]
B
Thing, the only thing that that pops up. So watch it, enjoy it. And I'm working on new stuff, and I'm excited about all that. Everything. Chappellec.com Chappelle AC on Instagram. I don't do all the other stuff, but yeah. So congrats, brother. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you.
- [58:32]
A
Congrats, as always, Ryan Sickler on all your social media. We'll talk to y' all next week.