340: Ester Steinberg: Bagels, Ballots, and The Tampa Toss

Summary

Podcast Summary: The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler Episode 340: Esther Steinberg: Bagels, Ballots, and The Tampa Toss Release Date: June 23, 2025

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Introduction

In Episode 340 of The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler, host Ryan Sickler welcomes comedian Esther Steinberg to share her unique and often humorous experiences growing up in a family deeply entrenched in both comedy and law. The episode delves into Esther's tumultuous family dynamics, her father's unconventional career path, and the challenges she faced both personally and professionally.

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Family Background

Esther Steinberg paints a vivid picture of her upbringing in Tampa, Florida, highlighting the complexities of her family life. She is the youngest of three daughters, with two older sisters who have distinct relationships with her.

• Siblings: Esther shares that one sister is her best friend, while the other is someone she is not on speaking terms with due to untreated mental illness, leading to an environment where Esther often became the peacemaker.

  • Quote: “Untreated mental illness, you know, it's tough. That prepped me for life because that sister was always walking on eggshells.” [04:12]

• Parents:

  • Mother: An Israeli-born engineer working for Honeywell, Esther describes her mother as a strong role model who balanced her engineering career with periods of being a stay-at-home mom.
  • Father: A Tampa native and the youngest graduate from the University of Florida Law School, Esther's father navigated the worlds of law and comedy, often blurring the lines between the two.
    • Quote: “He was very difficult—hard to talk to, and balancing his law career with his passion for comedy.” [08:11]

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Father's Ventures: Bagel Boudoir and Comedy

Esther details her father's entrepreneurial spirit and his foray into the restaurant business with the creation of the Bagel Boudoir, a controversial breakfast establishment akin to Hooters.

• Bagel Boudoir:

  • Concept: The restaurant featured strippers serving breakfast, a novel and unconventional idea that ultimately failed due to poor food quality and negative public perception.
    • Quote: “It was a breakfast Hooters. Bagels and logs and eggs that were...real gross.” [16:01]
  • Media Attention: The venture attracted negative media attention, leading to smear campaigns against her father, branding him as a "Bagel pimp."
    • Quote: “They called him the Naked Bagel. The people named it.” [26:34]

• Comedy Club Ownership:

  • Comedy Corner: Esther's father was part-owner of a comedy club during the early careers of now-famous comedians like Jeff Foxworthy and Larry the Cable Guy.
    • Quote: “He was part-owner of a comedy club called Comedy Corner, featuring comedians who were just starting out.” [09:29]
  • Struggles: Despite his involvement, his stand-up career never took off, leaving him to focus more on his legal practice.

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Political Campaigns and Smear Campaigns

Esther recounts her father's persistent attempts to enter politics, including multiple unsuccessful campaigns for state legislator, Congress, and even the presidency.

• Campaign Efforts:

  • Strategies: Her father employed aggressive campaigning tactics, including hiring Esther and her sisters to collect signatures and promoting himself through various media channels.
    • Quote: “He asked me to stand outside the library and collect signatures. You need like 6,000 signatures or $50,000.” [25:15]
  • Smear Ads: Opponents launched derogatory smear ads focusing on his failed restaurant venture and alleged association with the controversial practice of dwarf tossing.
    • Quote: “The smear ads came out...they called him the Naked Bagel and the Bagel pimp.” [26:34]

• Dwarf Tossing Controversy:

  • Legal Battle: Esther's father fought against the legality of dwarf tossing, an event some considered abusive, to advocate for those who wanted to participate willingly.
    • Quote: “He wanted to overthrow dwarf tossing so he can be thrown.” [28:15]
  • Public Perception: Despite his intentions, the campaign was met with resistance from the dwarf community and led to further negative publicity.
    • Quote: “He was on the radio stating, 'I'm a dwarf, and I want to be tossed.'” [28:36]

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Family Dynamics and Personal Struggles

The episode explores the emotional strain within Esther's family, particularly the emotional absence of her father and the challenges Esther faced in her personal life.

• Emotional Absence:

  • Father's Demeanor: Esther describes her father as emotionally unavailable, rarely expressing pride or engaging in deep conversations.
    • Quote: “He never asks me how I’m feeling. ‘How are you doing?’ was always followed by jokes.” [40:07]
  • Impact on Esther: This led Esther to seek validation through academic excellence and extracurricular activities to mend her relationship with her parents.
    • Quote: “I ended up graduating with straight A's because they told me they wouldn't love me otherwise.” [56:09]

• Esther's Own Challenges:

  • Postpartum Experience: Esther recounts a traumatic experience during her second childbirth, where an overly affectionate male doctor made her uncomfortable, leading her to file a formal complaint.
    • Quote: “He was excessively rubbing my hands and saying, ‘Relax, relax.’ It made me want to kill myself.” [46:36]
  • Therapy and Recovery: She discusses her journey through therapy to address the emotional scars left by both her upbringing and her childbirth experience.
    • Quote: “I'm here for you. But I also was like, I recovered. I'm good. I'm fine.” [50:40]

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Esther's Career and Personal Life

Esther talks about her path to becoming a comedian, drawing inspiration from her father's failed attempts and using humor as a coping mechanism.

• Education and Career:

  • College: Despite her father's lackluster support, Esther pursued higher education at NYU to follow her passion for comedy and acting.
    • Quote: “I graduated the top of my class and wanted to go to NYU to be an actress and do stand-up.” [57:07]
  • Comedy: Esther uses her personal experiences, including her family's quirks and her father's antics, as material for her stand-up routines.
    • Quote: “I write jokes about my father, saying, 'My dad is autistic,' and how he never shows emotion.” [57:49]

• Marriage and Relationships:

  • Husband: Esther is married to a man who contrasts sharply with her father—emotionally intelligent and supportive, providing a balance to her family's dynamics.
    • Quote: “I married a man who always wanted a dad who wasn't choking up at every Shabbat dinner.” [58:20]
  • Parenting: As a mother of two, Esther navigates the challenges of postpartum depression while maintaining her role as a comedian and wife.
    • Quote: “I'm postpartum with my second child...trying to play this game while being postpartum.” [40:04]

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Conclusion

Episode 340 offers a candid and humorous glimpse into Esther Steinberg's life, highlighting the intricate balance between comedy and personal struggle. Through her storytelling, Esther underscores the importance of resilience, the healing power of humor, and the complexities of familial relationships. The episode culminates in Esther reflecting on her experiences and offering advice to her younger self, emphasizing the value of embracing life's freedoms before family responsibilities take precedence.

• Final Advice:

  • Embrace Freedom: Esther advises her younger self to enjoy life’s freedoms before the responsibilities of motherhood take over.
    • Quote: “Embrace those and enjoy life before kids. That freedom before kids is like, can we bottle that up and sell it?” [60:39]

• Promotion: In the closing moments, Esther promotes her latest work, Smear Campaign, available on Amazon and Apple, along with her merchandise and upcoming performances in Las Vegas.

  • Quote: “We got Smear Campaign, it's my baby. You can follow me on Instagram, Esther Steinberg.” [61:50]

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Family Dynamics: “Untreated mental illness, you know, it's tough. That prepped me for life because that sister was always walking on eggshells.” [04:12]
• Comedy Inspiration: “I always say that these are the stories behind the storytellers.” [03:23]
• Bagel Boudoir Failure: “The food was really gross and that's why it didn't work.” [16:36]
• Political Smear Campaign: “They called him the Naked Bagel. The people named it.” [26:34]
• Emotional Absence: “He never asks me how I’m feeling. ‘How are you doing?’ was always followed by jokes.” [40:07]
• Postpartum Trauma: “He was excessively rubbing my hands and saying, ‘Relax, relax.’ It made me want to kill myself.” [46:36]
• Advice to Younger Self: “Embrace those and enjoy life before kids. That freedom before kids is like, can we bottle that up and sell it?” [60:39]

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Key Takeaways

• Humor as a Coping Mechanism: Both Ryan and Esther utilize comedy to navigate and cope with life's lowlights, emphasizing laughter's therapeutic role.
• Complex Family Relationships: The episode highlights the challenges of growing up with emotionally distant parents and the impact it has on personal development.
• Persistence Amid Failure: Esther's father's relentless pursuit of comedy and politics, despite repeated failures, underscores themes of resilience and the cost of ambition.
• Personal Healing: Esther's openness about her postpartum experience and her journey through therapy sheds light on the importance of addressing personal trauma and seeking support.

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The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler continues to deliver engaging and heartfelt storytelling, blending humor with genuine insights into the human experience. Episode 340 with Esther Steinberg is a testament to the power of laughter in overcoming adversity and the enduring bonds of family.

Transcript

[Esther Steinberg]

Ben hadn't had a decent night's sleep in a month.

[Ryan Sickler]

So during one of his restless nights, he booked a package trip abroad on Expedia. When he arrived at his beachside hotel, he discovered a miraculous bed slung between two trees and fell into the best sleep of his life. You were made to be rechargeable. We were made to package flights and.

[Esther Steinberg]

Hotels and hammocks for less.

[Ryan Sickler]

Expedia Made to travel Baltimore. I'm coming home. We're gonna wrap the Live and Alive tour up Saturday, June 28, at the Horseshoe Casino. It's going to be a great night. I got Justin Schlegel from 98 Rock gonna be out there with me. We're gonna have some surprises. It's gonna be a really big deal. Get your tickets now@ryan sickler.com. the Honeydew with Ryan Sickler. Welcome back to the Honeydew, y' all. We're over here doing it in the Night Pass studios. I'm Ryan Sickler. Thank you for supporting this show. Thank you for supporting anything I do. I genuinely appreciate it. Look, if you gotta have more than you gotta check out our Patreon. The Honeydew with y' all. I tell you about it every week. It is this show with y' all, and it is the wildest show on Patreon. It's five bucks a month. That's it. I'm telling you, it's worth a cup of coffee for hundreds of insane stories. All right, look, that's the biz, man. You know what we're doing here? We're highlighting the lowlights. And I always say that these are the stories behind the storytellers. I'm very excited to have this guest on here today. First time on on the Honeydew. Ladies and gentlemen, Esther Steinberg. Welcome to Honeydew.

[Esther Steinberg]

Hi. Thank you. I'm happy to be here.

[Ryan Sickler]

Thank you for being here. Before we get into your story right there, promote everything you'd like, please.

[Esther Steinberg]

All right. This is the big one. New special is out. It's Amazon or Apple. You can get it. It's called smear campaign. Esther Sandberg Meer campaign. It's available. And some merch. I'm selling merch. I'm finally selling T shirts, trying to raise money for my boob job. And then I am on Bagel Mania every single month. And that's in Las Vegas. So if you're in Las Vegas, come see me and follow me on Instagram. Esther Steinberg. That's. I'm posting clips and I've got a YouTube, Esther Steinberg. YouTube Esther Steinberg. There you go.

[Ryan Sickler]

All right. You know, we always ask people to send their topics in. I've known you for a while, but I don't know you well enough to know the stuff that you and your husband sent me about your life growing up.

[Esther Steinberg]

You're like, what?

[Ryan Sickler]

And I love to learn. Cause there's nobody for me. Like, this show has really made me appreciate comedians again when I started, because I'm like, man, there's nobody that can really come on and take the ugliest, darkest stuff and legit turn it into funny and then turn it into specials and books or whatever. It's. It's really interesting to sit in this seat and watch the other side, so.

[Esther Steinberg]

Or like, you find out everyone has a story, oh, they're just funny and they're just famous.

[Ryan Sickler]

Look, every one of you guys that come on the Patreon could do. Could do it. You just.

[Esther Steinberg]

There's a backstory to.

[Ryan Sickler]

To do that thing, you know. You didn't set off to be a comedian.

[Esther Steinberg]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Tell us about you. You're from Tampa originally, right?

[Esther Steinberg]

I'm from Tampa, Florida.

[Ryan Sickler]

Tampa, Florida.

[Esther Steinberg]

And I grew up wanting out.

[Ryan Sickler]

All right, now, are you. Do you have a big family? What do you grow up. Are you an only child?

[Esther Steinberg]

No, I have two older sisters from.

[Ryan Sickler]

The same mom and dad. Okay.

[Esther Steinberg]

One of them is my very best friend, and the other one. We are not on speaking terms.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, wow. Are the other two on speaking terms?

[Esther Steinberg]

Sort of. But there's like an understanding. Untreated mental illness, you know, it's tough. There's like. That prepped me for life because that sister was the walking on eggshells always. That's a ticking time box. 15 months apart.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, wow.

[Esther Steinberg]

And she was my, like, basically twin. But anything you said could set her off and, like, a really devastating lash out. And so I became Peacemake. Walking on Eggshells. Really people Pleasy. Really difficult mom, really difficult sister, semi difficult sister. And then I was like, easygoing, whatever, you know, and, like, funny. Funny. Needed to, like, break the. The crazy tension of all the women.

[Ryan Sickler]

And what did your mom do for a living?

[Esther Steinberg]

She was an engineer.

[Ryan Sickler]

Wow.

[Esther Steinberg]

Which is interesting. And she was like a big boobed Middle Eastern woman who's an engineer. And it was like. It's kind of like being a female comedian. You're just like, well, maybe not. There was, like, no women doing engineering. So she had her own story. But she was like an example of, like, you know, becoming. She wanted me to become an engineer. I'M like, I'm all good.

[Ryan Sickler]

But your mom's like, she's an anomaly in this industry at that time. Are you saying, like, she's.

[Esther Steinberg]

She's the only one in engineering.

[Ryan Sickler]

I was gonna say. Did she have any, like, female friends that worked? None.

[Esther Steinberg]

There was one or two female friends at work, but they weren't engineers. They were the management. There was some man and she worked for Honeywell. She worked for. She worked on, like, a rocket engine. And this was when I was really young. And then she got laid off and then stayed home, then went back to work, then stayed home and did that, like, mom roller coaster where you're like, a couple years in career, a couple years of Mom. It's weird.

[Ryan Sickler]

You said Middle Eastern. Is she from the Middle East?

[Esther Steinberg]

She was born in Israel. Okay, moving on.

[Ryan Sickler]

And then came here. All right, and what about dad?

[Esther Steinberg]

He is from Tampa, and his dad ended up in Tampa because he was a New Jersey guy who got a baseball scholarship to Tampa.

[Ryan Sickler]

Okay.

[Esther Steinberg]

So it was baseball that brought us. And then he was. I don't know. He was like. My grandpa was a judge in Tampa, and he had a fake gavel and he would do magic tricks. Very weird.

[Ryan Sickler]

A real judge with a fake. A real judge with a. Yeah, like, why? He sentenced you to fucking prison and shit. He's like, could you imagine? It was like you joined it in, like, boom.

[Esther Steinberg]

He was Daryl Strawberries Judge. How many times. Yeah, he was. He went really easy on him because he was a ball player. Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

We got. Hey, look, the maths were good. Yeah.

[Esther Steinberg]

But then he was like, Mr. Jokester. Now he passed away, and my. Recently. My mom was like, well, he was really awkward, like, socially awkward. I was like, socially awkward. No, he was. Magic tricks. She goes, no, that's socially awkward. As you are doing magic tricks to not be a person or to be like, here's material instead of myself. And I'm like, oh, I thought he.

[Ryan Sickler]

Was the most extroverted man on the cocaine charges. For Daryl Strawberry. Let me just pull that here.

[Esther Steinberg]

Yes, yes. The gap.

[Ryan Sickler]

We'll give you five years, Darryl.

[Esther Steinberg]

It made, like, a crashing sound. So it's.

[Ryan Sickler]

And then everyone's like, anyone could have.

[Esther Steinberg]

And, like, things squirted. Squirted water. And they would be like, oh, funny, funny guy. Ralph Steinberg.

[Ryan Sickler]

Nobody ever complained about that. Like, can this guy never.

[Esther Steinberg]

It was Tampa. I mean, no one cares about anything there.

[Ryan Sickler]

And he was doing that before, content was a thing.

[Esther Steinberg]

You know what I mean?

[Ryan Sickler]

These days, if there's a camera in that court, everybody's loving him probably like.

[Esther Steinberg]

Yeah, this one guy, he's doing like, he's related like so many content.

[Ryan Sickler]

He just really wanted. That's who he was.

[Esther Steinberg]

Why do you need to do magic tricks? Just do your judge job in court. That's. I mean, that's a man who wanted to be on stage and found his way on a. A stage.

[Ryan Sickler]

So that's your dad's dad?

[Esther Steinberg]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Okay. And then dad.

[Esther Steinberg]

My dad grew up and was like, okay, I'll go my. Like, you got to go to law school. And he was the youngest to ever graduate University of Florida for law school.

[Ryan Sickler]

Okay.

[Esther Steinberg]

And everyone.

[Ryan Sickler]

I thought you were going to say your family of the school of.

[Esther Steinberg]

At the time, he was the youngest law school graduate.

[Ryan Sickler]

Wow.

[Esther Steinberg]

And he just. His. He just was very young into kindergarten because he was hyperactive. So my grandmother just put him in to kindergarten early. That's not. That won't mess up a kid. And then he was funny and jokey and then forced, kind of. Kind of like, of course you're going to go to law school. Had to go to law school. Just kind of banged it out as fast as he could so he could do stand up. And then he started to do stand up. Came to California, did stand up. Started, I guess he. It was like a two double thing. He was like, there was a comedy club that had contracts. He's like, I'll do some law work if I can be a part owner and perform. And he would like, do you know.

[Ryan Sickler]

Any of the clubs?

[Esther Steinberg]

It was called Comedy Corner. And here's the. Here's the crew. And he filmed it once to sell and he couldn't. No, I haven't seen it. But he filmed. He paid for cameras. He filmed it and tried to sell it. This was the lineup. It was Dan Whitney, which is Larry the Cable Guy, Jeff Foxworthy. There was Sinbad. And they were like, these guys are half baked. They're not that great. Like they were on their way. But this was like their, their open mic days or they're like development days. And my dad's like, oh, they're funny.

[Ryan Sickler]

And they're like when he was working back when those guys were coming out.

[Esther Steinberg]

Very new, I see. Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Did he do any was side splitters around back then? Your dad ever goes, no, but I.

[Esther Steinberg]

Worked there for two years. You did in high school as a door girl. And I did guest spots and I would like watch Comedians. I was like, this is obviously what I'll do for the rest of my life because it's glamorous.

[Ryan Sickler]

Judge who wants to be a performer's son becomes a failed comedian and he's.

[Esther Steinberg]

Pushing comedy but has a law degree because it's that the fallback.

[Ryan Sickler]

Listen, can I ask you two things too much. What the are you doing third generation out here trying to be a performer? Number one and two, do you ever think I'm sitting here listening to you saying, my dad was a stand up, blah, blah, blah. And it hit me that one day our kids are gonna be like, my mom was a stand up. And I was like, oh, no. And hearing it come out of your mouth about us.

[Esther Steinberg]

And I was just like, well, was he good? Was he rich? Was he famous? Oh, well, he.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah, yeah.

[Esther Steinberg]

The open mic circuit was real good at the time. Real generous. Yeah, exactly. So you can tell their kids are.

[Ryan Sickler]

Going to say that out loud.

[Esther Steinberg]

They're going to have their own podcast.

[Ryan Sickler]

Okay, I'm sorry.

[Esther Steinberg]

My tactic, by the way, you can have this is I'm going to force my kids to do comedy. Force them. Force them.

[Ryan Sickler]

Force that they hate.

[Esther Steinberg]

And then finally one day they're going to be, mom, I don't want to do stand up comedy. I want to be a doctor. And then I'll be like, fine, be a doctor. And so I'm going to support that. Force it until they hate me. And then they're like, I'll never do comedy.

[Ryan Sickler]

You're a third generation performer over here.

[Esther Steinberg]

Third generation. Hopefully first generation successful. I don't want to be third generation fails.

[Ryan Sickler]

Hold on.

[Esther Steinberg]

And then my kids.

[Ryan Sickler]

Your grandfather was successful. He was just applying the. If you became a judge to the wrong.

[Esther Steinberg]

If I quit comedy and became a judge, would I be a successful comedian?

[Ryan Sickler]

No, you would not.

[Esther Steinberg]

You'd be still a failed comedian. You're. Yes. You're a judge. You're a failed comic. Yes, he's a lawyer. Failed comedian.

[Ryan Sickler]

Did he ever proper try proper stand up? Your. Your grandfather? No.

[Esther Steinberg]

Grandfather, no. But father was owned as part owner of a comedy club. And then still like, so he's doing all these little cases here and there, but he. A little money here and there and then somehow, I don't know, meets my mom at a bar. Six weeks later, they get engaged.

[Ryan Sickler]

Whoa, psychos. Seems like that's gonna work out.

[Esther Steinberg]

She's loud and crazy and emotional and just yells at baseline. And then he's like numb to all emotion. I've never seen him cry your whole life. Never.

[Ryan Sickler]

Anything, Nothing. That's wild. It is wild to me. And is it because he's one of those old school dudes? It's like, you don't.

[Esther Steinberg]

You.

[Ryan Sickler]

Not your feelings. It's just because he doesn't have them.

[Esther Steinberg]

He doesn't have. He's not a tough guy. He's like. He's.

[Ryan Sickler]

What, is he just numb?

[Esther Steinberg]

Like, no, I don't.

[Ryan Sickler]

A zombie? Like, what?

[Esther Steinberg]

So he has two things he does. And, like, it's sports analogies and, like, inappropriate jokes. Like, very. Like. Like a. Like a misogynistic joke. He's got three daughters, and he's like, oh, I wrote this joke. And I'm just like, that is.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, he's pitching wild.

[Esther Steinberg]

Why?

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, every phone call, he's pitching them.

[Esther Steinberg]

Hey, dad, how are you? I got a good one for you. Do you. Do you have a good one for me? It's not, how are you? How are you feeling? It's. I've got a. I've got a bit. Did you get my text? I bet that bit was funny, right? And I have to be like, you're not.

[Ryan Sickler]

This man is an established himself through law school in an unprecedented way.

[Esther Steinberg]

Yeah, yeah. No, that was just waiting tables. That was waiting tables. He was just like, holy shit to do.

[Ryan Sickler]

Not only did he get through it, he crushed the whole way through, obviously, to get through that fast. And he's like, whatever with that bullshit. This is where my heart. So what is it like growing up with a dad like that? You've got. I know you have stories.

[Esther Steinberg]

Well, I have a. I. He morphed into just a lawyer who was running for office a lot. Another way to just get stage time.

[Ryan Sickler]

What point did he finally hang the mic on? Be like, okay, this is still open.

[Esther Steinberg]

Mics, to this day goes to side splitters. No, you know, I put him up at the Kibbutz Room. I've. I. When I. If I. If I have a. If I have a theater tour, he wants in.

[Ryan Sickler]

Does he have five?

[Esther Steinberg]

Does he have five? Yeah, it's like. It's bad. They're like a couple prostate jokes. Something about, like, women's product. Like, I don't know. I'll have to write for him at a certain point. But anyhow, he is, like, brainwashing me in a good way with the funniest movies. It was like I was seven. We're watching Animal House. We're watching just every single comedy. And I really was just grew up on, like, raunchy comedies that my dad thought were correct for my brain. Like, everything. Steve Martin all day, every day, Steve Martin. And that was like Mel Brooks and Steve Martin was all I was. I was like, you know, snow White. No, not snow White.

[Ryan Sickler]

The jerk.

[Esther Steinberg]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I know every word to the Jerk. Thank you. Okay, thanks, dad. But, like, I really didn't. I mean, I didn't watch the other stuff. I watched Clueless. That was good. But, like, it was. My education at home was like, we're watching this. And we would watch Comedy Central together. And that was the cool thing about growing. Growing up with him was it was a dad that, like, we were watching Comedy Central together as bonding and, like, because he. We and him couldn't have, you know, any other deep conversations. So it was jokies. But he. In 1990, the year I was born, so I'm the third of three daughters, he decides to open up a. A restaurant that, like, haunts him for the rest of his life. And it's a. It was called the Bagel Boudoir. And this was a breakfast Hooters. So Hooters started in Clearwater. So to him, it wasn't crazy, just breakfast titties.

[Ryan Sickler]

That's it.

[Esther Steinberg]

It was brunch. It was really gross, though, because they were strippers from Mons Venus and they.

[Ryan Sickler]

Were like, who's doing the 6 to 10am shift? The ladies have been up all night.

[Esther Steinberg]

They're just rolling and they're toothless and tatted up because they're Tampa. This is. Is not even la or is Tampa Bagel Boudoir. And they were like, so.

[Ryan Sickler]

Okay.

[Esther Steinberg]

The news came, and the news clip was following a woman in a tea back, as my mom calls it a tea back. I'm a millennial. I call it a thong. She's like, it was tea back.

[Ryan Sickler]

I'm thinking, that's the top. She's calling a Teaback. The first thought.

[Esther Steinberg]

My mom loves to tell the story where they're like, they had women and serving food in tea bags.

[Ryan Sickler]

Their asses are all out bringing you.

[Esther Steinberg]

Bagels and logs and eggs that were in they. That.

[Ryan Sickler]

That is this.

[Esther Steinberg]

The food was. Apparently the food was really gross and that's why it didn't work.

[Ryan Sickler]

You know, people take care of their own selves. Yeah.

[Esther Steinberg]

Like, yeah, he lost money on this.

[Ryan Sickler]

Like, here's the crazy part. It opened. He went all the way into open. No one in his life was able to say, man, I don't know about that.

[Esther Steinberg]

My mom was like, what are you doing? She.

[Ryan Sickler]

Are they married at the time when he did this?

[Esther Steinberg]

Yes, they've been married.

[Ryan Sickler]

Wait, they're still married? Still with his.

[Esther Steinberg]

They're so unhappily married. They're just like you. Every day is like, my mom wants to tell me my dad's being an asshole. I was like, oh, that'd be great to talk to your therapist about. Of course she doesn't have a therapist. But I love if someone's like. I go, oh, you should really talk about that with your therapist. And I have to like stay out of the triangulation because she'll be like, you know, you dad the other day, and I was like, how old are.

[Ryan Sickler]

You when bagel butts opens up?

[Esther Steinberg]

Zero.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, you're not even born yet.

[Esther Steinberg]

One month old.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, you are.

[Esther Steinberg]

This thing opens.

[Ryan Sickler]

This is what he's doing.

[Esther Steinberg]

Old. The third daughter is one day old. And he's like, great, let's name her Esther. Bagel boudoir is opening. Be right back. And he'd be at this restaurant. And then I guess the luck of it was that one of the waitresses had a husband who was a trucker who got into a head on collision and like almost lost a leg. Trucking company had insurance. My dad made bank on that. So it was like he was grabbing money from. Because she's, she just comes in is like my boyfriend's, you know, in a trucking accident. And my dad's like, does he need a lawyer?

[Ryan Sickler]

No. Yeah, the whole lawyer.

[Esther Steinberg]

So then he can reap the benefits.

[Ryan Sickler]

That's not ambulance chasing at all. That lady just threw it out there.

[Esther Steinberg]

She, she was working, she was in a tea bag giving people smear and locks.

[Ryan Sickler]

I think she's giving him a different kind of smear.

[Esther Steinberg]

But yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

That'S a horrible choice. Fish and thongs is a horrible choice to eat. And they're, they're bringing it to the table. It's about this high, you know what I mean? Like, I don't know where locks. You didn't get locks or those were scrambled eggs. Like you might want 60.

[Esther Steinberg]

Just like, imagine if Canner's deli was like tits out.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what I'm imagin.

[Esther Steinberg]

But like, the tits are hanging low at canters. Their tits go to their bellies.

[Ryan Sickler]

Esther, did your mom ever go in and check it out? Sure. Like, I want to see what's going on here.

[Esther Steinberg]

Oh, she went in and would yell, oh, God. So he come home and she goes, you, I'm gonna leave you. Oh, every day my mom threatens to divorce. It's like a thing. She's just like, yeah, you asked. I'm gonna divorce you. I'm gonna leave you. She loves that. She loves that. And then I think my sister was five, my Oldest sister and would like come in and I remember she really liked some of the pillows there. And like when it closed, she like got the decorative pillow and I was like, that looking back is vile. And was covered in AIDS. This was like the late 80s. Tampa strippers. Like, oh, so then you give your five year old daughter the, like the, the shop closed down. Here's a pillow. Gross. Covered in care.

[Ryan Sickler]

What you got me just here mentally thinking, I don't care what restaurant I'm at, have all your teeth.

[Esther Steinberg]

Yeah, sure.

[Ryan Sickler]

You know what I'm saying? I feel like those people put them in the bag, you know what I mean?

[Esther Steinberg]

Cook, learn, strippers.

[Ryan Sickler]

I mean if you don't have teeth, then that's an acquired taste.

[Esther Steinberg]

Right?

[Ryan Sickler]

I ain't got a problem with an old silver one right here. I ain't above an old silver tooth right here. But if you're missing some shit. And in the, you know, the money area here, go cook.

[Esther Steinberg]

And it's Tampa. So everyone's just like probably sunburnt. Like they had those leather.

[Ryan Sickler]

Think of the tan brown arms. Track leather arms.

[Esther Steinberg]

Because I don't think sunscreen was a thing until the 2001.

[Ryan Sickler]

Hell no. The 80s, no.

[Esther Steinberg]

Yeah. So then 1990 is the year I was born and was the year it opened in 90.

[Ryan Sickler]

It opened. Opened. Okay.

[Esther Steinberg]

And then it closed, unfortunately.

[Ryan Sickler]

91 probably.

[Esther Steinberg]

I think it was 91 or 90.

[Ryan Sickler]

91.

[Esther Steinberg]

And then he became, I think he became more like, okay, I'll be a lawyer more. I'll, I'll. He was still doing some, but sure. That didn't ever stop. And then he goes, raises us. Seems like a normal guy. Never cries, but like pretty normal doing.

[Ryan Sickler]

The lawyer thing at that point.

[Esther Steinberg]

Yeah. Social Security law. So schizophrenic people, overweight people. If he saw someone that was £400, he would give them a business card.

[Ryan Sickler]

And what is the angle on that?

[Esther Steinberg]

You can't work, you can't sit for X amount of time. You have to pee every. He can argue that you could be disabled. He can. You know, he's very, very good at this. He will. He just can figure out the math on whether someone can get disability benefits and how much. The one great thing is he was doing pro bono work for veterans for free because they basically made it illegal to make money off of Veterans affairs for a while. And then they changed the law and said you can make money off veterans. So then all this pro bono work, he was an expert and now he could finally make money off veterans.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, so he was helping Vets.

[Esther Steinberg]

He was helping vets.

[Ryan Sickler]

All right, good for you.

[Esther Steinberg]

Yeah. He's a. He is a good guy and has a heart. He has like a. So then you're like, tell you about it, but doesn't add a. Only thing that comes out of his mouth is literally like, the other day, I was walking down the aisle of does he.

[Ryan Sickler]

So the way your grandfather would judge with his little magic. With a guy to judge jokes when.

[Esther Steinberg]

He'S a lawyer, I don't even know what happens.

[Ryan Sickler]

Could you imagine that'd be the worst?

[Esther Steinberg]

I'm sure he does. Well, also, his clients are mentally ill.

[Ryan Sickler]

You've never sat in a courtroom to watch your dad work?

[Esther Steinberg]

No, because I think they're in, like, small meetings, and he like his. When I was growing up, some. One of his clients came to his office and. And the wooden door was closed, and he took, like, a paperclip and carved his name into one. Client peed on chair. These. The clients are mentally ill. Oh, yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah, Good point.

[Esther Steinberg]

Disabled people. So it's like, there's nothing cute about this.

[Ryan Sickler]

Okay.

[Esther Steinberg]

But he got to be around midgets and. And schizophrenic people. And I think he liked that as a comedian or something. He was a. He got, like, a kick out of Tourette syndrome.

[Ryan Sickler]

Who done. You know, except for people with Tourette's, everybody like, it's.

[Esther Steinberg]

Oh, my client today, she was telling me, it's like, he wanted to tell stories about his clients who had Tourette's.

[Ryan Sickler]

Because he doesn't just have the standard regular clients.

[Esther Steinberg]

He's got whack jobs.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yes.

[Esther Steinberg]

People with lobster hands, you know that. That's like a disease. Like, their hands look kind of lobstery. It's like, I don't know. There's a scientific name. You can get disability.

[Ryan Sickler]

Well, you should get disability for something like that.

[Esther Steinberg]

And the big thing is if when he didn't win a case, they go, he can be a toll worker. So toll worker is.

[Ryan Sickler]

No, that's their low ball.

[Esther Steinberg]

Like, then, like, like, yeah, you come in with lobster arms.

[Ryan Sickler]

That's a ditch digger. That's what I used to hear all the time. Well, ditches. People still go dig ditches.

[Esther Steinberg]

Yeah. No, digging ditches is hard work. Toll collector became like. And I feel like it was the time in Tampa you'd toss coins into, like, a basket. Yes.

[Ryan Sickler]

And then you had to have change. Yeah.

[Esther Steinberg]

And it was everything. There's so many bridges.

[Ryan Sickler]

One time, people realize you had to keep changing your car if you went through tolls. Like, just throw it in the, yeah.

[Esther Steinberg]

Throwing it in the basket. And then there's some disabled guy with lobster arms being like, thank you. I mean, thank you. You know, and my dad's just like, hey, Rick. Yeah, Tell your friends about me. Everybody know, by the way, the other day there was a black guy at a bar. Dad, stop. And then. Yeah, well, actually when I was growing up, because I think you've had bridges and tools as a kid.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh yeah, I'm down there.

[Esther Steinberg]

I was with a guy and we were going to the, the beach and his car was in front of my car and I was with my sister and he put his money in and I pulled up and the toll booth worker goes, he covered your costs. And I was like, that is chivalry nice. It was nice to be a 16 year old girl. It pays. But I was like, that's, I was like, toll booth chivalry.

[Ryan Sickler]

Whole booth. I forgot about just throwing change in the damn thing. Tell me more about your dad running for office than you said.

[Esther Steinberg]

So then I'm in middle school, sixth grade, and he's like, I'm going to run for state legislator. And we were all excited and he asked me to stand outside the library and collect signatures. You need like 6,000 signatures or $50,000. It's like. So then he's like, well, I can pay my daughter 10 cents a signature. Like he came up with something where I was like pestering people at the library to, are you a registered voter? Like, I was put in that position as a sixth grader with my sisters. We were told to canvas door to door. And then he had six billboards and, and, and T shirts.

[Ryan Sickler]

What did they say? Do you remember his campaign slogan or anything?

[Esther Steinberg]

Yeah, it was, it was something like experience in helping people. And I was be like, oh, I help people. Helping people, Help people, help people. I was just like always making fun and like roasting. I was like, yeah, oh, I. You want to help people who help people? And I was like, okay, all right. And he, he ran and we went to these political things and we were the political family. And then the smear ads came out where my mom got a letter in the mail that was like, don't vote for Michael Steinberg. He's the Naked Bagel. They called him the Naked Bagel.

[Ryan Sickler]

That's what they named it.

[Esther Steinberg]

The people named it, He's a Bagel pimp. He's a bagel pimp. He's a bagel. So then it became Bacon bagel.

[Ryan Sickler]

That's what they're all called.

[Esther Steinberg]

And I'M the whole family is humiliated, and we are now being smeared for our bagel pimp father. And ads are coming in the mail about he's a bad guy and a skeezy guy. They tried to link him with mons Venus in 2001 Odyssey because it was like, there's these strip clubs, famous strip clubs in Tampa. They're grimy. And it's 2001 Odyssey, which was supposed to be futuristic in the 80s. I see 2001 is now.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah.

[Esther Steinberg]

For belly button rings and Fred Durst. So it's like, what? What? And then the Mons Venus. So they were like, he's grimy. He's with these guys. And, like, at the time, I felt like he was a really just normal dad taking us to school in his gigantic van. Like, his. Like, it looked kind of a. But it was a Whatever. And then he also picked up a midget client at the same time who was a TV personality named Dave the Dwarf. And he goes, I want to be tossed.

[Ryan Sickler]

I wait.

[Esther Steinberg]

There was a law that you could not get tossed.

[Ryan Sickler]

I know that name.

[Esther Steinberg]

Dave the Dwarf.

[Ryan Sickler]

Dave the Dwarf.

[Esther Steinberg]

He's half black, half slap a ho Indian. That's his, like, tattoo.

[Ryan Sickler]

I definitely do not know that name. But when you told me what you told me outside before the show, I was. Keep going, though.

[Esther Steinberg]

So he's getting these clients.

[Ryan Sickler]

Dave the Dwarf.

[Esther Steinberg]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Wants to fight legislature to be tossed. To be tossed.

[Esther Steinberg]

Because there's already illegal.

[Ryan Sickler]

There's already a law in place.

[Esther Steinberg]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Not throw these.

[Esther Steinberg]

Dwarf tossing is illegal.

[Ryan Sickler]

And my dad, he wants to overthrow dwarf tossing so he can be thrown.

[Esther Steinberg]

So he's. Yes. And he's on the radio and he goes, I'm a dwarf, and I want to be tossed. And that was like, his tagline. He'd come on the radio every morning and 93.3flz, and they'd be like, maybe.

[Ryan Sickler]

That's where I heard of this from. He was like a radio guy for sure. And so he fought. So someone overturned the law.

[Esther Steinberg]

Someone called my dad and was like, there's a. You gotta meet. And my dad's like, sign me up.

[Ryan Sickler]

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[Esther Steinberg]

And so he meets Dave, and he becomes, like, a close family friend. My dad goes on, like, 2020 and Sally, Jesse, Raphael, and they're doing, like, again. My dad's, like, loving the TV spots. He's like, I got an open mic joke for you. And he's just, like, loving all this attention. And that was also. He's like, oh, and I'm gonna run for office. Okay. Then the office is, like, smearing him. He's a bad guy. Whatever, Bagel pimp. And then he loses the election. Oh, he wins the primary and loses. But I had not had my soul crushed in the kind of way that I really wanted my dad to win. And I thought the billboards and the T shirts and canvassing. He's a good guy, too. He had way more experience helping people than the other person. Like, I was like, come on. So he lost. And I remember a sadness like just defeat and disappointment. I just get. I guess I thought he would win. Then why the fuck did we do all that? I really felt like the whole family pitched in. And my sister was a freshman in high school, and she got all of her friends to go to the polls. And I was like, we did all this stuff. How could we have lost? And then he decided to run again, and he lost. And then he ran for. That was state legislator again, then Congress, and he lost. So he kept promoting himself. And then he runs for president and gets on the ballot.

[Ryan Sickler]

No, he did not.

[Esther Steinberg]

Your dad, he was on the ballot. He really was.

[Ryan Sickler]

I think 2016, was it Trump?

[Esther Steinberg]

It was. Well, it would have been Trump, but he's a Democrat. And he's like, I say that He's a Democrat, and. Which I love about him, but, like, you're a loser. In Tampa, if you put Democrat next to your name, you're a loser no matter what. This is evangelical Christians who don't believe in evolution. You're a loser. So Michael Steinberg, the Democrat who loves midgets, bagels, and titties. He apparently. But.

[Ryan Sickler]

But trust me, I'm right up your alley. Trust me, y' all. I'll give you what you want.

[Esther Steinberg]

I know what you want, and I know how to give it. I can help you. Helping people. People help. Help people. Help people. Experience in helping people. Help people. And I, as a kid, I took one of the smear ads, and I parodied it to, like, kind of make my family laugh. So we're all kind of hurt. We're getting, like, this piece of shit bagel pimp, and I change it, and I smear the other guy, and I exaggerate the smears of my dad, and I'm like, he's never been to college. Like, I, like, miss. I just was trying to make a laugh, and I was like, my little smear campaign parody in sixth grade. And then he. He. So he runs. And I think I was probably a freshman or sophomore in college, and Bernie Sanders. No, this was probably after college or something somehow. I'm a young woman, and I'm excited about the future. Bernie Sanders is running being, like, the 1% of the 1%. And Hillary Clinton is, like, our first female candidate. And I just was, like, energized by that. And my dad took me to New Hampshire for this, like, caucus, whatever, exciting moment where you could. All the Democratic candidates were there, and they were doing speeches or whatever, and my dad was running, and so I wasn't allowed to be in the Hillary group, and I wasn't allowed to be in Bernie Sanders group. And he got me a vote for Michael Steinberg T shirt. And it was only two people wearing.

[Ryan Sickler]

That shirt, you and him.

[Esther Steinberg]

And so you have.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, goodbye.

[Esther Steinberg]

You have all the. Bernie Broskin one, man.

[Ryan Sickler]

Come on, man.

[Esther Steinberg]

Why am I here? And it was like, it dawned on me that I've been punked. He's like, I want you to come with me to see Hillary Clinton. I'm like, I can meet Hillary Clinton. Oh, cool. And he's like, yeah, wearing a vote for Michael Steinberg shirt. And I'm like, like, what the. But I did get a selfie with Hillary. I was like, let's get a selfie. And it was the second time I met her because my dad likes to take me to like, random political events. And meanwhile, my poor sister was duped into becoming a lawyer and working for his law firm.

[Ryan Sickler]

Man. So we've kept it in the family with comedy and law then.

[Esther Steinberg]

I know.

[Ryan Sickler]

Can I ask you a question real quick? That's bugging me and I'm sure other people want to know because we've sorted.

[Esther Steinberg]

My eyeliner's off.

[Ryan Sickler]

No, we sort of got off this story. Did they change the toss law? Were they successful in overturning the law?

[Esther Steinberg]

It was, I think that they like. I think he was toss. And they were like. They were like, yeah, that's fine, that's fine.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah, we're not gonna really regular.

[Esther Steinberg]

But the worst was in Sally Jesse Raphael. There were midgets on stage getting upset, saying, no, these tossing laws are important. And then Dave going, I want to be tossed. And then my dad being like, well, thing is. And I'm like. The fact that he was going against like innocent midgets who didn't want to be abused in bars.

[Ryan Sickler]

Well, see, I'm 52, so I remember a show back in the day that was midget tossing. And I want to say it was on ABC and I think Mr. T was a.

[Esther Steinberg]

That feels correct.

[Ryan Sickler]

I feel like Mr. T was a sort of. I don't know about Hulk Hogan, but early on I think the way Mr. I'm wrong a ton, Esther. But I feel like the genesis of Mr. T might have been that he was this bar guy that was. And they would throw the through a door and it would ring a bell or some like that. I was a kid when it came.

[Esther Steinberg]

And you loved it.

[Ryan Sickler]

Loved it. I mean, who's not watching that? This black guy with a and feathers and shit's throwing his little through a door and you gotta ring a bell. I would have took just through the door. You know what I mean? But also you got a.

[Esther Steinberg]

And they make it wait.

[Ryan Sickler]

Kirsten's looking it up. Look. What's it say there?

[Esther Steinberg]

Dwarf tossing is the place you can order a and tossing in Tampa. They reversed it.

[Ryan Sickler]

Reversed it.

[Esther Steinberg]

Look, my dad's a good lawyer.

[Ryan Sickler]

There it is. Dwarf tossing dot com.

[Esther Steinberg]

24 hours serving all your birthday party's going to be.

[Ryan Sickler]

Way to go. Your dad did it. Goddamn.

[Esther Steinberg]

And he was at my bar mitz, my bat mitzvah of this. And everyone was like, whoa, Dave the Dwarf. And I'm like, close family friend Dave the Dwarf. Please don't throw him. He wants to be. Please don't.

[Ryan Sickler]

Would he do that kind of shit if he was at your event like that, would he be like, hey, it's cool.

[Esther Steinberg]

If someone wanted to throw him a top hat on, that was a tray and it was shot glasses, and he walks around with sue, but it's like basically the. The height of the table.

[Ryan Sickler]

But when anybody gets sauced up enough to throw his ass.

[Esther Steinberg]

I don't think anyone at my Batman sweat was very strong.

[Ryan Sickler]

No.

[Esther Steinberg]

Maybe my lesbian sister, but other than that, she was. If, if, if you, if you said the wrong thing, she would have been like, shut the up. But no, it was. It was a pretty tame Bat Mitzvah. The theme was Hollywood. We had a casting couch. But I, I loved that. That part of, like, my dad forcing me to be part of his, like, political thing. And I was like, you're. You're losing so much. And I, I feel like the very last election he may have been on the ballot and people like, that's crazy. But, like, why the are you running when you know you're not doing away?

[Ryan Sickler]

Like, what is the point of putting effort into something you know is going to end with what you don't want attention? There it is. Yeah, I don't. Hey, my name's on the ballot. It's enough.

[Esther Steinberg]

Oh, and ever. And I. He'll be like, you know, you should run. And I'm like, I will not.

[Ryan Sickler]

Look, I can't imagine even anyone that's being born anytime recently is born. Well, since 96. So since 97. On. How would someone be born in 97? 2007, 20, 17, 28, 20.

[Esther Steinberg]

Oh, okay. Okay.

[Ryan Sickler]

I went eight years old. Right. Born in 2007.

[Esther Steinberg]

I went older than me. It's younger than me.

[Ryan Sickler]

So even at 28, you're about to. You're. You'd start to be in politics already. No one now exists without a history on the Internet. And you talk about the smear campaigns and, like, how easy to go find an old tweet from something when you're 11. And you said some dumb or what. Like, I can't imagine moving forward. Anyone's going to want to get into politics because all they're going to do anymore. It's no longer debate. Smarter, better, fitter.

[Esther Steinberg]

Yeah, it's. It has to be a Napo baby. It has to be a Napa baby.

[Ryan Sickler]

That's the problem. Because you breed being all that.

[Esther Steinberg]

But everything's an EPO baby. Like the basketball players who can afford all the travel teams, all the this, all the training. Yeah. LeBron's son can afford that. Like, who's the greatest actors are getting awards. Yeah. Their parents were actors and they're, they went to the best acting school and their parents helped them. I feel like the world is like a politician's son will be. I mean, our next president is Baron Trump.

[Ryan Sickler]

He's gonna be one of them. He's probably. If he runs, he's probably gonna be one of them. I. I agree with you.

[Esther Steinberg]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Not the next one. He's too young to be the next one.

[Esther Steinberg]

I don't know. I don't know.

[Ryan Sickler]

He'll be one, but.

[Esther Steinberg]

But it's feels like all the world is so difficult that you have to have a parent who does. And then you just do that. Like, I hope not. I hope I'm wrong, but it just feels like the only person who's gonna be suited for politics is a Kennedy and a Schwarzenegger and whoever's parents are like. Like, you're in politics.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah. Are you? In a way, sort of. And I don't want to mean say it this way, but hear me out, because you're a mom with two. Are you sort of, in a way, your dad's favorite because you, you do the comedy thing. You know what I mean?

[Esther Steinberg]

Well, favorite would involve him being interested in him.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, yeah. Having feelings. He never fucking says, I'm proud of you, Esther, when I force him.

[Esther Steinberg]

So way fast forward. I have two kids, and I'm postpartum with my second child in la, and my parents come to visit, and my dad's just like drinking coffee, doing crosswords, and he's not telling jokes at the. In the middle of this, in the middle of our house. Of course, I'm like, you know, breastfeeding, and I'm sad and figuring all the mom stuff out, especially with the two kids where I'm putting all my attention on the toddler because the infant doesn't know. So I have to ignore the infant to not hurt my toddler's feelings. So I'm like playing this game of, like, I love my toddler. Oh, this thing. Don't even worry about that. I love you. Don't be jealous. I love you. And I'm like trying to play this game while being like, postpartum and all that. And my dad was awkward and giving me. Telling me about the book he's writing. He's writing this new book or the election he wants to run for, and I'm just like, I wrote down with a piece of paper, how are you? What friends do you have from high school that you're still in touch with with? How has balancing Things been for you. And I handed it to him and I was like, just read it. And he literally like a robot goes, how are you feeling? I'm like, so thank you for asking. And I answered it genuinely. But I was like that moment I was like, he won't even ask me.

[Ryan Sickler]

Like, wait a minute. I see. These are questions you wanted him to ask. Yes. I thought you were just giving him what say, can you, can you read a.

[Esther Steinberg]

A script that says how are you? The words how are. And you just re. I'm going to write it.

[Ryan Sickler]

That's a question you wouldn't get just.

[Esther Steinberg]

On the regular never.

[Ryan Sickler]

How you doing?

[Esther Steinberg]

How you doing? Was like, kind of like, oh, how you doing? How's it going?

[Ryan Sickler]

And when he was it, oh, sorry.

[Esther Steinberg]

The how you doing? Was a comedian. How's it going, guys?

[Ryan Sickler]

Are you like, is that.

[Esther Steinberg]

Do you. Do you want to know how I'm doing?

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah.

[Esther Steinberg]

No, we want you to just, just. We're about to launch into a joke.

[Ryan Sickler]

What about when you have your first child? The man doesn't cry. That's what I'm saying.

[Esther Steinberg]

No.

[Ryan Sickler]

Are you, is. Are your children grandchildren?

[Esther Steinberg]

Yes. And the only. Physically he's there.

[Ryan Sickler]

I hear you. Mentally, emotionally, even mentally may be there a little bit, but zero emotion.

[Esther Steinberg]

Oh, he's sharp as can be. He's doing crossword for the first time.

[Ryan Sickler]

And crying.

[Esther Steinberg]

No crying.

[Ryan Sickler]

Wow.

[Esther Steinberg]

He's holding and singing songs like parody songs like Weird Al Yankovic song. Like whatever. Like you're holding a kid and you just to launch into like peekaboos.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah, babe.

[Esther Steinberg]

He was like Harvey and Sheila Hart, like a, a Havana Gilla parody. And I'm like, alright. And so I think some, some went down with my birth that I finally was like mom and dad. This is like something happened. There was a doctor who I couldn't tell. I didn't know this doctor, but he was the. A second doctor. My doctor's great. The second one made me feel yucky.

[Ryan Sickler]

You talking about during my second second. Don't say another word. I'm well aware of that hospital.

[Esther Steinberg]

And I wrote a complaint and everything. I went into therapy and all that and I was just like really rocked. A, I'm postpartum. That's basic blues. And then B, I'm trying to piece together what happened because I felt like he was more touchy feely than a gynecologist should.

[Ryan Sickler]

Whoa.

[Esther Steinberg]

And my doctor, who I went to every week was amazing. This doctor I met that same day.

[Ryan Sickler]

Was like, why are you now having to go to this man, no.

[Esther Steinberg]

They were partnered to do my C section.

[Ryan Sickler]

I see.

[Esther Steinberg]

I also went back to my doctor and said, why are you working with this guy? His bedside manager? Manners. Like, I became extremely vocal because I said I have a window. And, and I. When I talk to my dad about things, when it comes to men. Yeah, he sides with men.

[Ryan Sickler]

No, he.

[Esther Steinberg]

He's innocent. He can't possibly believe that anyone in the whole wide world would be inappropriate. He's a kind soul and sees women as women, but makes misogynistic jokes because they're funny.

[Ryan Sickler]

Also sounds very lawyer of him to.

[Esther Steinberg]

Be to take this. But sometimes I'll say like, he said this and da, da, da. And then it's like, whoa. And then he'll make some kind of excuse. Or one time I said something about an age. The wage gap, Women's wage gap. Thank you for nodding. And he denied it. And I go. And I got irate. I was like, google it. And he googled it. And then he became aware that there's a wage gap. And I was like, I shouldn't have to tell you. And when I do tell you, you shouldn't have to deny gaslight me and deny me totally. But I think it comes from it. I do believe it comes from an innocent place case. He didn't know the idea that women get paid less for the same work would be. Is not fair. And therefore how could it possibly be?

[Ryan Sickler]

Why would they do that?

[Esther Steinberg]

Yeah, but I'm also just like, really? Are you that so at the same time, he's brilliant. He's also so out of it.

[Ryan Sickler]

So let's go back to this other fucking doctor. You've reported him to your main doctor who you love. What's his take on that? And also, isn't there someone in the room with you while this man's being extra touchy? Isn't that a law?

[Esther Steinberg]

There's supposed to be a female, right. Woman nurse who was doing something with me and a pillow, holding my hand. So supposed to hold my hand and like there was a pillow and they were doing. This was the moment that they put the epidural in my back. So if you fuck it up, I could be like paralyzed if you do a good job. We do. A C section is great. So this is a nerve wracking situation. But I'm not that nervous. This is my second C section. I'm like, yeah, go for it. And the nurse comes up to me and then this other doctor goes, you can leave. I got it. She goes, really? She sounded surprised. Really? What? And he goes, yeah, no, I'm fine. She goes, oh, thank you. Holds my hand and there's a pillow, but he has the pillow in front of his crotch. And I'm getting epidural, so I'm still. And he was just like, really excessively rubbing my hands and going like, relax, relax. It's okay, relax. And I was like, I want to kill myself right now. I'm going to disassociate and think about this later. I'm in the middle my birth, and I just was like, having an out of body. Like, what the hell is happening? I was like, please don't. My birth happens. He volunteers to do the catheter to put my pee pee hole in the back.

[Ryan Sickler]

I shiver even hearing it. Yeah.

[Esther Steinberg]

And I have a curtain up, so I don't know what's happening.

[Ryan Sickler]

I can't see anything down there.

[Esther Steinberg]

No.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah.

[Esther Steinberg]

And finally they bring my husband in. He's been outside and he comes in and we're just doing our C section again. And I'm all good. I'm numbed up. I can't feel anything. So, like, we're good. And then the baby comes out and pees onto the doctor's face. Or not face, probably arm. And he goes with a joke. The millisecond.

[Ryan Sickler]

Not. Not another one of these throwing jokes on you.

[Esther Steinberg]

Pees on doctors. This kid's gonna be a lawyer.

[Ryan Sickler]

The worst one.

[Esther Steinberg]

And now I'm like, did you have issues with lawyers, sir? Doctor.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah, right.

[Esther Steinberg]

A lot of lawyers up here.

[Ryan Sickler]

Funny thing to say, isn't it?

[Esther Steinberg]

It's a real weird. Sure is a lot of lawyers pissing on you. It's also like lawyers and doctors, it's like they're respected, but also they can be filth and they can be good guys, they can be bad guys. We don't know. So, yeah, I'm shook.

[Ryan Sickler]

Can I ask you, like when you say a little more touchy feely, where that. Rub the hands.

[Esther Steinberg]

His pelvis was very close to my gurney.

[Ryan Sickler]

The pillow was in there. So he's all.

[Esther Steinberg]

He's like holding my hands and kind of. Kind of moving around.

[Ryan Sickler]

And his lady, who they're about to dice open and pull a kid.

[Esther Steinberg]

Where the. Was that female nurse?

[Ryan Sickler]

That's a hundred percent.

[Esther Steinberg]

She was coming to me. I love women. Honestly. Women can rub their boobies on me. And I feel like heaven. Like when a nurse. A nurse grazes me with a boob or a dental hygienist has like a tit on my shoulder. I like it. There's something like they're like giant pillows. Like, yeah, push it. Like, yeah, how are my teeth? And like, I love a woman's touch. I've never in my whole entire existence felt uncomfortable with a woman's touch. And I usually feel pretty good about men because I've had good men. My dad's a good guy. He's never cried or anything, but he's a good guy. My husband's a good guy. I'm not a damaged, like, coming from. I hate men. I love man, and I'm thrilled I have sons. But I just was confused. Was I touched inappropriately or was this a touchy feely doctor? I go in for my 6 week checkup or something and I am getting my vitals taken by this nurse who's done my vitals throughout my pregnancy. I know her. I love her nails. And I'm like, hey, girl. And she's like, hey, how's your baby? And I go, yeah, my bir. My birth. It was. My baby's great. The birth was weird. And I said the name of the doctor and I was like, he's weird. And she goes, he's over there. She gets quiet. She's like, he's over there. Don't. Don't say much. He's over there. And I'm like, okay. She walks into the room and shuts the door. And she goes, he has very predatory vibes.

[Ryan Sickler]

Wow. Co signing on a co worker from a coworker who sees him often, not just this one exchange.

[Esther Steinberg]

But the worst part is I'm in love with my actual gyno. This guy was such a good guy and so sweet. So I approached him and was like, this is what happened.

[Ryan Sickler]

I'm sure it's not easy.

[Esther Steinberg]

What can we do about it? And he, like, was like, that's like. There was a point. He basically launched into some story about how there was a point in time where doctors were grabbing butts in the office. That was supposed to make me feel better.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah.

[Esther Steinberg]

And I was like. I go. I was just like, you're an amazing doctor. This is the very last time I'm gonna step foot in this office. I'm done.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, good.

[Esther Steinberg]

And then I report. I had. I contacted Cedars to do a report just in case there was a woman before me or a woman after me. I gotta do it. If I don't do a footprint, then the next woman or the woman before me doesn't get validated because they need like 82. You need 82 women to be believed or not 82. I'm exaggerating. You need more than one.

[Ryan Sickler]

Your dad only needs one.

[Esther Steinberg]

My dad needs one.

[Ryan Sickler]

One, but 82, preferably. Preferably a midget one.

[Esther Steinberg]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

But I only need one.

[Esther Steinberg]

So I like put in the formal. Formal complaint. Felt really good about it. Just like, I don't know what's gonna happen, but I did the work I had to do.

[Ryan Sickler]

Can I ask you, when you put the complaint in, is this a digital thing now or do you speak to us? To speak to someone?

[Esther Steinberg]

I did a handwritten letter.

[Ryan Sickler]

Okay.

[Esther Steinberg]

Printed it out and mailed it. Mailed it to Cedars Sinai.

[Ryan Sickler]

Okay.

[Esther Steinberg]

With a formal complaint. Attention, whatever. The. What they said on the website was to send in a letter and attention, whatever. And then I have like a. What feels like a private eye investigator. She came over to my house and she gave. She said that they will do a thorough investigation.

[Ryan Sickler]

Is she work for Cedars?

[Esther Steinberg]

I actually never talked to her since then. And therefore she was just a person to listen to me and then throw my claim in the trash can. So we did that. But I have a paper home, but I have a paper trail of all of it. So basically I want to make sure that the next it's for the next girl.

[Ryan Sickler]

I hear you.

[Esther Steinberg]

I don't expect anything whatsoever to come out of this other than if the next girl needs me, I'm here for you. But I also was like, I recovered. I'm good. I'm fine. Like, nothing. I don't think I was damaged. A point of no return. I was just like touched in ways that I was like, hey, if you're a gyno, have a little bit of bedside manner. And by the way, my gyno, perfect angel, perfect example of how to treat a woman. So it's like I know what it is like to be in a very platonic relationship with my doctor. And I also know what it's like to be with someone who's predatory vibes, who's a little too touchy feely on day of my C section of all days. But luckily my son took care of it. Little pee pee on the face. No, I was like moving on. But now I'm with my mom and my dad and my newborn and this is all coming back and I'm mad. So then it becomes like, I'm gonna talk to my dad about it. And the joke started flying and I was like, I'm gonna murder him if I hear one more joke. Because I was in a postpartum hormonal rage.

[Ryan Sickler]

I'm laughing because I can only Im.

[Esther Steinberg]

About to kill Hulking out. And I was like. Like, I am. I am hulking out, and he's not stopping. And he goes, I can tell that milk isn't hormone free.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, my.

[Esther Steinberg]

No, also, it's a good.

[Ryan Sickler]

That pissed me off twice. Cuz I'm like, it's a good.

[Esther Steinberg]

He goes, two C sections. They should put a zipper down there.

[Ryan Sickler]

And you're trying to be like, dad, I think this guy was in a.

[Esther Steinberg]

And he's like, I don't think you have a good case. I'm like, you don't have a good case. There's not enough hard evidence. Shut up. If you want to sue, you know, Cedars has way more. And I'm like, I don't want to sue anyone because I'm lazy and I have you, and you only want to represent Midges. It's. I just want to do a formal complaint so that the next woman has evidence that this isn't the first moment. That's it. And he's like, well, you know, if this comes back to you, it's like, he has a reason not to pursue. He's like, if you ever are like, should I or not, like, call my dad. He'll give you, like, drop the case. Like, I think something bad happened. Moving on. Got any new jokes? Okay. And I said, what's your fucking problem? And he said, he has Asperger's.

[Ryan Sickler]

It took all this time for somebody to be like, what's your fucking problem? Oh, you guys. Oh, I have asthma.

[Esther Steinberg]

Oh.

[Ryan Sickler]

And he started all along.

[Esther Steinberg]

63 years old. First time ever, I'm hearing that.

[Ryan Sickler]

Wait, is he officially diagnosed?

[Esther Steinberg]

He went online and did a test like everybody does.

[Ryan Sickler]

You also have aids if you go.

[Esther Steinberg]

Yeah, but I'm sure, sir, like, something's up.

[Ryan Sickler]

Does that add up now, though, when you really look back at it?

[Esther Steinberg]

He says, never a tear in his eye. But now when I'm in therapy, I go, well, my dad, never emotionally, but he was there physically. I always say, like, my graduation, he was right there. In my recitals, he was right there. Did he ask me how I was? No. He told me about his new client with lobster hands. And like I said, my therapist, and I may disagree with her, was like, emotional absence is. Can be a form of child abuse.

[Ryan Sickler]

I mean, everything is.

[Esther Steinberg]

Sure. But hearing her say that, I was. I would never accuse him of child abuse ever, ever, ever. He's the most incredible human. He shows up at the capacity.

[Ryan Sickler]

I think there needs to be a new word for abuse. I think abuse is thrown around heavily.

[Esther Steinberg]

Oh, yeah. Oh yeah, let's. Come on. There's a rainbow.

[Ryan Sickler]

Neglect.

[Esther Steinberg]

Maybe it's neglect or just like little naughty. No, no moments. So for dad, like dad freaked out a little. He. He's never freaked out. That's the other thing is, I mean he'll he. He's exploded like three times. And one night got arrested for shoplifting.

[Ryan Sickler]

But he lost it on that one, huh?

[Esther Steinberg]

Kind of. He's like, we don't love you. And I'm like, okay, fair enough. Fair enough. Fair enough.

[Ryan Sickler]

The lawyer judges.

[Esther Steinberg]

Yeah. My mom's like, we can no longer look at you in the eyeballs. I was like, I get it, I get it, I get it. And they're like, if you make. They grounded me for a year.

[Ryan Sickler]

Wow. Did they hold to that?

[Esther Steinberg]

And they said I could do school stuff. So I became a cheerleader. I was in the Mathletes cuz I needed to get out of my house cuz my parents hated me. But I would only. So I was like football team and like guys would ask me out and I just said no. I rejected every. I I'd come up. I was like, I'm really busy and no. You know. And they were like, who's this rejecter over here? And I was just rejecting everybody. And I'm like, well, if you want to go to the football game, I'll be there. I didn't want to go to the football game, but it was the only place I could go to leave my house that was school affiliated. Anyways. I ended up getting like all straight A's, graduated ninth in the class only because they told me they wouldn't love me if I didn't get like that was the way I could repair our relationship with was straight A's.

[Ryan Sickler]

I see.

[Esther Steinberg]

And then I graduated the top of the class and I was like, obviously I want to go to NYU and be an actress and want to go to New York to do standup. And I applied to like 10 schools only in New York City. And everyone was like, it's too cold. And I went and my dad paid for it. Did he slow clap for my dad for paying for college? That will always be on my shoulders. Like my dad paid for college for dress up and make believe college. Nyu. You dress up, play make believe. And this poor man wasted so much money on this stupid school. It was amazing, but also so stupid. So stupid. You can so theaters, but you have a good relationship. Really good relationship.

[Ryan Sickler]

That's what it's all about.

[Esther Steinberg]

Because I said, that's it. I'm gonna talk about you on stage, and I'm gonna roast you. Because I had always really protected him, and now I'm on stage saying, my dad is autistic. And here's what his He. This is. What was it like growing up with him? And once I made money off of it jokes, I was like, okay, we're good. This is material. But forever and ever, it was just like, the best is that my father in law weeps at everything.

[Ryan Sickler]

All right, so you got a balance here.

[Esther Steinberg]

So I married a man who's always wanted a dad who wasn't choking up at every Shabbat dinner, okay? And he got his robot father in law, and I wanted a dad who. Who had a. Was not a tin man, who had soul and could cry. And that's my father in law. And now I'm, like, obsessed, and I write jokes about my father in law, but he is, like, you could say, like, how's your day?

[Ryan Sickler]

And he's like, he's over.

[Esther Steinberg]

And he turns bright red. He's like, bro, Hashem, things are good. Like, things like, he's not even New York. I'm giving him a New York accent. He's just a Denver man who turns. Turns purple red. Like, the colors, trying to hold in the tears. And then the speeches are choked. He cannot get through a sentence. And I'm like, I love this man. And Noah's like, oh, God, not again.

[Ryan Sickler]

Worked out in the end.

[Esther Steinberg]

And so I'm like, very. I love that man. And then my. My husband has a. Is emotionally intelligent and is really tapped in in the ways that I feel so disappointed, like someone did something inappropriate, like, have my back, not theirs. Can you. I don't even care if I'm lying. Just have my back.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah, we'll talk about it later. I always believe that for partners. Like, look, even if you're fucking wrong, I'm siding with you. When we get in the car, I'll be like, you know, you're fucking wrong.

[Esther Steinberg]

Ride or die.

[Ryan Sickler]

But in the public, I got your motherfucking back. Back. We're rolling together in public in the car. Like, you know, you that up, right? You got to be able to be real.

[Esther Steinberg]

What about our kids? Like, you want to give them the character to be like, you did something wrong or there's two sides to this. But also, I got your back. I will go bury the body with you, of course, but, like, you're grounded.

[Ryan Sickler]

But this is not okay. Esther, thank you for coming and doing this episode.

[Esther Steinberg]

Thank you for having me.

[Ryan Sickler]

This was fun, man. Your dad seems Wild. I'm glad he's a good dad, though.

[Esther Steinberg]

He might hit you up that well.

[Ryan Sickler]

We'll see. I might be looking for a lawsuit. Will you please one more time? Oh, no, no, no, wait. I want to ask you before we wrap up, advice you'd give to your 16 year old self. I don't want to forget that. So after everything we've talked about, now, what would you tell 16 year old.

[Esther Steinberg]

Esther was like, have more sex, more casual sex before marriage. You know, I really wanted to like be a good girl. And then I found my husband. I was like, like, you know, you have no, I, I, I, I don't, I, the advice, I, I don't even, I'm like, you know, we're going to fail a bunch, so, so that's it. Embrace those and enjoy life before kids. Yeah, that freedom before kids is like, can we bottle that up and sell it? You don't know you have it until it's gone. And I'm like, I should. There was some more freedom and I.

[Ryan Sickler]

Could have had some more freedom because squeeze more out.

[Esther Steinberg]

Oh, like my husband tells, tells you a story about having sex with a Brazilian hooker. I don't have a story about having sex with a Brazilian hooker. And I would have really liked to. So he's up here being like, oh yeah, when I was single, ba bang, ba bang. And I'm like, well, I'm missing a couple of those. All right, so ladies out there, get it in while you can before your prince charming comes.

[Ryan Sickler]

Promote everything you'd like one more time.

[Esther Steinberg]

So the Shmear campaign. Yeah, yeah, we got Shmear Campaign, it's my baby. We got Burning Bush, it's free on Amazon. And then Shmear Campaign, there's a pay to play and it'll be free soon. And so I'm posting clips on YouTube, I'm posting on the Instagram. And I'm located in Vegas, doing shows every month and all the time, Las Vegas. Follow me on Instagram, Esther Steinberg. And vote for my dad when you see him on the ballot.

[Ryan Sickler]

Be back on the ballot.

[Esther Steinberg]

I'm sure he do. You think should we bet on it?

[Ryan Sickler]

He's never gonna stop. Probably. Thank you for doing this as always. Ryan Sickler on all your social media. Ryan sickler.com. we'll talk to you all next week.

[Esther Steinberg]

Ram.