Podcast Summary: The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler
Episode 341: Ari Matti and the Estonian Experience
Release Date: July 7, 2025

Introduction

In Episode 341 of The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler, host Ryan Sickler welcomes his first-time guest, Ari Matti, an Estonian comedian whose tumultuous upbringing deeply influences his storytelling and humor. The episode delves into Ari's early life in Estonia, his complex family dynamics, and his journey into the world of comedy.

Ari's Early Life in Estonia

Ari begins by sharing his background, detailing life in Estonia during its transition from a Soviet state to an independent nation post-1991. Born in 1992, Ari grew up in a newly liberated Estonia, a period marked by significant economic and social changes.

Ari Matti [04:13]: "It's a former Soviet country, and I was born in '92. We got liberated when the Soviet Union collapsed. So it's like a fresh country, culturally still super different from Russia."

Family Dynamics and Stepdad's Abuse

Ari's family life was fraught with challenges. His mother, Vera, worked as a waitress and struggled to provide stability amidst the transient presence of Ari's stepfather, a volatile and abusive businessman involved in the metal trade across Estonia, Lithuania, and Poland. This stepfather had multiple families and was often absent, prioritizing his ruthless business dealings over familial responsibilities.

Ari Matti [07:34]: "He's a deregarded boss, a workaholic. Christmas was crazy every year with him trying to play Santa while getting berated by his ex-wives."

Ari recounts witnessing his stepfather's abuse, noting instances where violence erupted during family gatherings, leaving lasting trauma.

Ari Matti [31:11]: "There's just no dynamic; it's a traumatic guy, just a volatile ape that's around. Not even my dad."

Mother's Passing and Funeral

Tragedy struck three years ago when Ari's mother died of a heart attack while enjoying time with her friends at a cottage. Ari was preparing to perform at an open mic during this time, but the news forced him to attend her funeral instead. The funeral was a somber affair in Estonia, adhering to local traditions but attempting to infuse some personal touches to honor his mother's wish to avoid excessive mourning.

Ari Matti [39:12]: "We both agreed to put jazz music on. We don't want none of that... She hated sad."

At the funeral, Ari was introduced to his biological father for the first time through his grandmother, who handed him his father's contact information. However, attempts to reach out were unsuccessful, leaving Ari with unresolved feelings and unanswered questions about his paternal lineage.

Ari Matti [46:16]: "My grandma hands me a note saying, 'You and Laura have different dads. Your dad's still alive.' I tried calling him on stage, but he didn't pick up."

Discovering His Biological Father

Following the funeral, Ari discovered that his biological father was alive and residing on an Estonian island. Despite his efforts to connect, his father remained distant, never responding to calls or showing interest in establishing a relationship. This revelation added another layer of complexity to Ari's understanding of his family history and personal identity.

Ari Matti [50:34]: "We find out he's alive, but he doesn't want to be involved. My stand-up career is going, and he should have known by now, but he never reached out."

Journey into Comedy

Ari shared how his experiences and family struggles propelled him into stand-up comedy. Moving internationally, he performed in various countries, including Thailand, Australia, London, Estonia, and Canada, honing his craft and using humor as an outlet for his pain and observations.

Ari Matti [61:11]: "I moved to Thailand for backpacking, fell in love, moved to Australia, and started stand-up in Melbourne. I did Bangkok Comedy Club, lived in London, toured Estonia for five years, and spent a year in Vancouver doing comedy wherever I could get a work visa."

A pivotal moment in his career was performing a set about his dysfunctional family, which paradoxically helped him process his trauma. During one performance, Ari recognized his mother's supportive presence from beyond the grave, finding closure through his art.

Ari Matti [59:39]: "When I did a bit about my stepdad, I saw my mom's smile. She came up to me and said, 'Go as hard as you want.' That was better than any hug I ever got."

Reflections on Family and Trauma

Throughout the episode, both Ari and Ryan reflect on the impact of dysfunctional families and the importance of confronting trauma. Ari emphasizes the necessity of opening up about personal struggles to prevent the accumulation of internalized pain.

Ari Matti [65:08]: "If you don't talk about it, you're going to just go insane. I might hurt relationships by opening up, but I need to get it out."

Ryan shares his own experiences with an abusive mother, resonating with Ari's story and underscoring the universal challenge of overcoming early life hardships.

Ryan Sickler [18:20]: "A few of those things were thrown at me too. I had a moment where I didn't want to live under her, but I couldn't do anything."

Conclusion

The episode concludes with Ari promoting his comedy career and reflecting on the cathartic power of humor. Both hosts acknowledge the importance of sharing personal lowlights to foster understanding and resilience.

Ryan Sickler [67:43]: "That's what The HoneyDew is about—highlighting the lower lowlights to find moments to laugh about."

Ari closes by encouraging listeners to embrace their stories, no matter how painful, as a means of healing and connection.

Ari Matti [66:35]: "I deserve to talk about whatever I want to talk about. My perspective is my truth."

Notable Quotes

• Ari Matti [04:13]: "It's a former Soviet country, and I was born in '92. We got liberated when the Soviet Union collapsed. So it's like a fresh country, culturally still super different from Russia."

• Ari Matti [07:34]: "He's a deregarded boss, a workaholic. Christmas was crazy every year with him trying to play Santa while getting berated by his ex-wives."

• Ari Matti [31:11]: "There's just no dynamic; it's a traumatic guy, just a volatile ape that's around. Not even my dad."

• Ari Matti [46:16]: "My grandma hands me a note saying, 'You and Laura have different dads. Your dad's still alive.' I tried calling him on stage, but he didn't pick up."

• Ari Matti [59:39]: "When I did a bit about my stepdad, I saw my mom's smile. She came up to me and said, 'Go as hard as you want.' That was better than any hug I ever got."

• Ari Matti [65:08]: "If you don't talk about it, you're going to just go insane. I might hurt relationships by opening up, but I need to get it out."

• Ryan Sickler [18:20]: "A few of those things were thrown at me too. I had a moment where I didn't want to live under her, but I couldn't do anything."

• Ryan Sickler [67:43]: "That's what The HoneyDew is about—highlighting the lower lowlights to find moments to laugh about."

• Ari Matti [66:35]: "I deserve to talk about whatever I want to talk about. My perspective is my truth."

Final Thoughts

Episode 341 offers a profound exploration of Ari Matti's life, blending humor with harrowing personal experiences. The HoneyDew successfully highlights how embracing and sharing one's lows can lead to resilience and connection, all while maintaining its signature storytelling charm.