349: Kym Whitley - Surprise Motherhood

Summary

The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler

Episode 349: Kym Whitley – Surprise Motherhood
Release Date: September 1, 2025

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Episode Overview

In this memorable episode, comedian and actress Kym Whitley joins Ryan Sickler to share her unique and heartfelt journey into surprise motherhood. The conversation highlights the lows and unexpected turns of Kym’s personal life, her unconventional adoption story, reflections on relationships and career, as well as insights into raising her son Joshua with love, humor, and a devoted chosen family. The episode weaves in jokes, wisdom, family anecdotes, and the honesty and bittersweet laughter characteristic of The HoneyDew.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Kym’s Background and Early Life

[08:52]

• Kym was born in Cleveland, Ohio, later lived in Sudan (Kartoum) for six years during her childhood because her father was building schools as an architect.
• She attended British schools, even developing an accent erased quickly after returning to Cleveland.
• Two brothers (and a close cousin treated like a brother).
• Her mother was a school teacher before she was born, then became a housewife.

Showbiz, Comedy, and Career

[03:04], [04:42]

• Kym discusses her path in comedy, emphasizing that while she doesn’t love stand-up as some of her peers do, she thrives onstage and especially enjoys hosting gigs.
• Memories of working on shows like "The Parkers" and "Curb Your Enthusiasm" (notably, her pivotal role in the “Carpool Lane” episode).
• Quote:
  “Everyone talks about me, I complain and complain...until I hit the stage. Once I hit the stage, it is on and cracking.” — Kym [03:16]

The "Long Shot" Story—Comedy Saving a Life

[05:38]

• Ryan recounts how Kym’s "Curb Your Enthusiasm" episode inadvertently provided evidence that exonerated a wrongfully accused man, a story detailed in the Netflix doc "Long Shot."

• Kym reflects on the fateful convergence of comedy and justice:

  “It always comes back to the clowns.” — Kym [07:54]

Relationships & Decisions

[13:13], [13:44]

• Honest discussion about her romantic history: Seven engagements, no marriages.

• Explains her hesitancy: fear of losing independence, concerns over finances, and self-doubt about being a good wife.

  “Seven rings, baby.” — Kym [13:41]
  “I was afraid of a lot of things… not being a good wife. I was just afraid.” — Kym [13:53]

• She playfully laments not marrying for money, but appreciates her independence in the end.

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The Remarkable Story of Surprise Motherhood

[17:55]

• Kym details how, in her 40s, she became a mother overnight:

  “A girl who I was close to had him, left him at the hospital, and put my name and number on his toe.” — Kym [18:00]

• She gets a call from a hospital social worker: a friend has given birth and left the baby for Kym, who has only two hours to prepare for a newborn.

• Emotional and humorous family response—her mother’s blunt advice to "go get that baby" because, as she notes:

  “You ain’t got no man. You ain’t got no kids… and you old.” — Kym’s mom [21:26]

• Kym navigates the logistics of sudden motherhood: dashing to buy a car seat and bassinet, getting a crash course in baby supplies.

[29:10]

• Dive into challenges of legal adoption: Parental rights, court involvement, navigating the foster care system's red tape.
• Kym briefly advocates for policy reforms to extend foster care support and ease homelessness.

Naming Joshua & Chosen Family

[30:10], [32:47]

• With little time to decide, Kym prays and chooses the name Joshua for her son.

• She emphasizes the importance and blessing of her support network: celebrity and longtime friends step in as godparents, mentors, and extended family—creating a true village around her child.

  “I didn’t say, can you babysit them? I said, can you be in his life for the rest of his life? It’s a different kind of ask.” — Kym [38:29]

• Ryan highlights the gift that unconditional love creates for Joshua, and Kym reflects on the ripple effect of support.

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Adoption, Honesty, and Parenting Philosophies

[44:20]

• Kym discusses the critical importance of honesty about adoption: using the word "adoption" from the start to avoid secrecy or betrayal.

  “Never hide adoption from a child because… their whole life becomes a lie.” — Kym [44:47]

• She explains how Joshua has always known he is adopted and feels "chosen."

• Addresses complexities of biological parent connections, foster care trauma, and why she’s waited to allow Joshua to meet his birth mother.

  “They will always worry about their mother... just wait until they’re older.” — Kym (court attorney’s advice) [49:11]

Single Motherhood, Dating, and Discipline

[49:55]

• Discusses dating as a mom: being cautious which men are introduced to her son, and the importance of providing healthy models for relationships.
• Shares humorous anecdotes about exes’ discipline methods (e.g., making Joshua pick up leaves one by one).

Regrets, Reflections, and Life Advice

[42:06], [56:47]

• Kym wishes she’d had children younger and given her son a sibling so he wouldn’t be alone later in life.

• Fond, funny stories about her mother’s humor and practicality, even regarding her own funeral arrangements.

• To her 16-year-old self:
  “Have no fear. Do not let fear stop you from anything. Try it all. Except for cocaine.” — Kym [56:52]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Adulthood Arriving in an Instant:
  “Just hanging out, mom and dad, getting ready to get something to eat… And all a sudden, boom, you’re a mom.” — Ryan [23:59]

• On Adoption and Chosen Family:
  “Adoption, as he’s 2, 3, I was like, oh, my son’s adopted in front of him... We were chosen.” — Kym [46:51]

• On Parenting Regrets:
  “I wish then somebody said, you know, you should have a baby during this age... I’m just living life, having a good time. My mother put some reality on my behind.” — Kym [22:02]

• On Honest Storytelling:
  “Keep your legs closed.” — Kym, with characteristic candor, when asked to advise her younger self [56:47]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [03:16] — Kym’s comedy career & hosting
• [05:38] — The “Long Shot” Curb Your Enthusiasm story
• [13:41] — Seven engagements, no marriages
• [17:55] — Unconventional adoption: "I didn’t have no baby...left him at the hospital and put my name on his toe"
• [21:26] — Kym’s mother’s blunt perspective on sudden motherhood
• [29:10] — Legal aspects of adoption and foster care system
• [30:32] — Choosing Joshua’s name
• [38:29] — Assembling Joshua’s “village” of godparents and friends
• [44:47] — Adoption philosophy: honest conversations with Joshua
• [49:11] — Advice from family court attorneys about biological parents
• [56:47] — Advice to 16-year-old Kym

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Episode Tone

The hallmark warmth, self-deprecating humor, and raw honesty of both Kym and Ryan shine through—turning a story with the makings of a melodrama into a tale of resilience, laughter, and gratitude. Kym’s candidness, humor, and heart reveal the complexity and beauty of building an unconventional family.

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Closing Thoughts

Kym Whitley’s journey into motherhood is extraordinary—a lesson in openness to life’s surprises, the strength of asking for help, and the transformative power of love. The episode is a must-listen for anyone interested in adoption, single parenthood, the comedy hustle, or simply the unpredictable, hilarious turns that life can bring.

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Featured Plugs

• Kym Whitley’s Podcast: “Two Funny Mamas” (w/ Sherri Shepherd)
• Film: "Happy Gilmore 2" (Netflix), "Killing Mary Sue" (Prime)
• Upcoming Comedy Dates: Cleveland, Arlington, Jimmy Kimmel Vegas Residency, Washington Comedy Theater
• Social Media: @kymwhitley on all platforms

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End of Summary

Transcript

[A]

San Diego. I'll be at the Grand Comedy Club Friday, October 3rd. Get your tickets now on my website at ryancickler.com the Honeydew with Ryan Sickler. Welcome back to the Honeydew, y'. All. We're over here doing it in the Night Pan Studios. I'm Ryan Sickler. Ryancickler.com Ryan Sickler, on all your social media, starting this episode like we start them all by saying thank you. Thank you for anything you do to support anything I do. I don't care what it is. Live shows, merch, whatever. I love that you support this show and this podcast. And if you got to have more, you got to have our Patreon. It's called the Honeydew with y'. All, and it is this podcast with y'. All. And I promise y' all have the craziest stories you'll ever hear. It's five bucks a month. All right? That's it. It's been that for years.

[B]

You.

[A]

You get hundreds of episodes for a cup of coffee, all right? And if you or someone you know has a story that has to be heard, please submit it to honeydewpodcastmail.com we would love to do an episode with you. All right, that's the biz. You guys know what we do here? We highlight the lowlights. And I always say that these are the stories behind the storytellers. And I am very excited to have this guest here. First time on the Honeydew. Ladies and gentlemen, Kim Whitley. Welcome to the Honeydew.

[B]

I am. I was like this. I was hiding because I was like, wait, I didn't get to check my face.

[A]

Wait, let me check my gorgeous.

[B]

I was cute for the camera.

[A]

You're super cute for the camera.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

Thank you for being here. It's an honor to have you here, honestly. And before we get into whatever we're going to talk about today, please promote right there. Anything you would like.

[B]

I would like to promote that. I am so glad I met Ryan. First of all, that is the highlight of my day. Secondly, I have a movie out on Netflix called Happy Gilmore 2. Make sure you check that out. And I have a movie out on prime called Killing Mary sue, which is action and crazy. It's very funny, too. And then I have a podcast with Sherri shepherd called Two Funny Mamas. Please go subscribe. Look, I want to keep going down the list. And I have. Let's see, what else. I have dates in Washington at the Washington Comedy Theater. And then I got. I think I'm Gonna go down. I got Cleveland, I got. I got Arlington. So just dates coming up and. And doing things.

[A]

Where are you on socials?

[B]

Oh, so. Oh, social media across the board. That's what I should have said. You can catch me. K Y M Kim and then Whitley. W H I T L E Y and that is Facebook. Instag tickety tock. All those things.

[A]

You still have a passion for going out live, huh?

[B]

Well up, Ryan, you talking two different things. There is that. Sherri shepherd has a passion. I know people. David Arnold had a passion.

[A]

Rest in peace, David Arnold, my boy.

[B]

I serious, like, stop saying that, Kim. I said I do stand up. She likes to do stand up. I said, you like stand up. You love stand up. Caroline Rae loves stand up. I like stand up. The thing is, everyone talks about me. I complain and complain. I complain in the dressing room until I hit the stage. Once I hit the stage, it is on and cracking. Like I did a residency in Jimmy Kimmel in Vegas, which I'm going to do again. January and February. One of the best shows. So much fun because there's people from all over the world. Tourists come in and you just get to have fun for 45 minutes of foolishness. And so I enjoy the people. Am I tired of hearing myself on the same comedy? I got to change my act. That's my biggest problem. But I like people. I love hosting. I absolutely love a host gig. If I. If you got an organization, you want me to host it, I love it. At first I was like, oh, my God, these big audiences are afraid. But your audiences grow as you grow. And now I get in front of a big audience. I'm like, it's the same jokes. It's the same thing. It's people and I really have a good time.

[A]

And we've been doing it a minute too. Good for you. I was telling you when we met outside, like, you're on my tv. My daughter found. Are you at Parker's? The Parkers?

[B]

You own the Parkers? Yeah, that's.

[A]

That's the one. I was thinking she watches that. She watches all of these old shows and you're there. But one of the craziest. And we'll get into this. I just do have.

[B]

Is your daughter black?

[A]

No.

[B]

Okay. I just felt you had a black dog.

[A]

You know what her brother's mix, though. I always thought I'd have a mixed child. I didn't think it would be somebody else's.

[B]

I thought you was light skinned. Be honest with you. I'm just. I don't know what are you, white?

[A]

I'm Italian.

[B]

You're Italian. Okay, same thing. You light skinned.

[A]

I'll take it. I'll take it.

[B]

It's the boys. You got a little swag.

[A]

You. Thank you.

[B]

You.

[A]

Your role on Curb your enthusiasm. Bless you.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

The prostitute who Larry David ends up picking up just to take a person in the carpool lane to go to the game. And if you don't know this story, it's crazy. We won't talk too long about it because I definitely want to dive in with you. But your episode saved this man's life.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Like this man. There was a man who went. There's a. There's a maybe a 40 minute. I can't remember the name of a documentary on Netflix.

[B]

Long shot.

[A]

Long shot. Watch. Long shot. And this poor man bought his mother tickets on Mother's Day for the game, knowing she would say, I don't want to go, so he could go. He bought her a present, knowing, I'll go. Took his daughter, I think a couple buddies. And then after the game, he's convicted of a murder deep in the valley.

[B]

His girl. His girlfriend.

[A]

Yeah, that's right, his girlfriend. His man, he's paying cash for every thing. So there's no credit card trace, there's no nothing. One weird ping off a cell phone tower to call and say he's going to be later or whatever. Because that night, I believe Gagne, the guy that was the closer, had this incredible record, and it got broken that night. So they went to extra innings. So the game goes longer. All the weird things are happening. That man goes to prison for murder. Because witnesses also said, no, we saw him do it. We saw man do it. And he's like, I'm at the game.

[B]

Testified and said he was at the game.

[A]

He's. And he had just taken her out to get us. I don't know. Something from the snack stand. They're coming back in. And they held the. Because of the scene, they held people from walking in. Espn, Fox, none of them have it. And then, boom, they say, oh, look.

[B]

In the logs here.

[A]

Well, they were shooting curb here that day. And then, damn, lo and behold, if your cameras don't have him. And they. You saved his life.

[B]

But also he got stopped at the top. The pa. That's right, stopped him and said, no, you can't go down there. And he said, my daughter's down. I got to go down there. And that PA said, okay, go ahead. That's what really made the difference.

[A]

Oh, I see. Because if he doesn't let him go, then no camera.

[B]

They wouldn't have seen him.

[A]

That's that Super Dave scene. He's going down, walking down. It's such a crazy. It always comes back to comedy. Kim Whitley. It always comes back to the clowns.

[B]

It always comes back to the.

[A]

So let's talk about you. Where are you originally from?

[B]

Wait, first of all, what sign are you?

[A]

I'm a Pisces.

[B]

Of course you are. Why?

[A]

What's that mean?

[B]

Cause I wanna sleep with you. It's a weird. My God. I ain't never turned red on this.

[A]

Podcast in my life.

[B]

I should have known. I just. Let me talk to Elizabeth. My public says I gotta cancel this. I didn't know you was a PIs. You remember Sud? Oh, man, it's warm in here all of a sudden. Holy.

[A]

Am I as red as some of the highlights in your hair right now?

[B]

Oh, my God. I never heard a laugh like that. That was pretty funny.

[A]

Yeah. Either love it or hate it. I get that all the time.

[B]

Oh, Pisces. This is going to be quick. Pisces.

[A]

I am. Where are you from originally?

[B]

I'm from Cleveland, Ohio.

[A]

Oh, you're from Cleveland. Okay. A lot of good comedy comes out of Cleveland. Drew Carey out of Cleveland. You got some really hall.

[B]

Drew Terry was a lot of people out of Cleveland.

[A]

And. And your mom, dad, are they together? Siblings. Tell me about when you're born in Cleveland.

[B]

Born in Cleveland, then moved to Sudan. Cartoon. Yeah. Lived in Africa.

[A]

Really? Europe. What age do you do that with the family?

[B]

Yeah, the whole family. My father was building schools.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Over there he's an architect at a firm. My brothers are architects now. And a great life. And we moved from Cleveland. We moved to Shaker. Another great life.

[A]

How long are you in Africa?

[B]

We're in Africa probably about six years.

[A]

Whoa. And are you being. What ages are you there? Is it elementary school?

[B]

Elementary school.

[A]

And what kind of school do you go to there?

[B]

English. English had a British accent.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I said, mommy, Mommy.

[A]

You did? I didn't start because the young. Is it South Africa? Is it that?

[B]

No, right there. Sudan cartoon over on the west side. Wait, east side? East side of Africa.

[A]

And the British are teaching you so you develop a British accent. How long did you get rid of that?

[B]

My mother said I came back to Cleveland and she says within three days.

[A]

Three days?

[B]

Six years.

[A]

And Cleveland stopped that out in three days.

[B]

She said she could. She said her hands. She said. She said, I've been Afghan. Mommy. Sketchy's such a nutty boy. She said, three days in Cleveland. She was like, hey, Mom, Scott over here tripping. She was like, who is that talking?

[A]

That's gone, huh?

[B]

She couldn't believe it. She said, I really wish you would have held that. But Cleveland had taken out of you. Cleveland take a lot of stuff out of you.

[A]

How many siblings do you have?

[B]

I have two brothers.

[A]

Two brothers.

[B]

And then my father's a twin, so his son is like a brother. So I say three boys. Okay, so I was definitely a tomboy. Still a tomboy.

[A]

You are.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then you go where? From there.

[B]

From there. Do I ever turn into a girl?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Working on it. Work. I'm sitting there with my legs open now. I'm telling you, it's been a long cousin. Hold your legs. Kill. Okay, okay. Let me focus. Okay.

[A]

And what does mom do?

[B]

She just. She just.

[A]

She's a mom.

[B]

My mother just shakes her head. She does. She. Is she employed?

[A]

Does she have a career or she just keeping.

[B]

My mom is a housewife.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

But she was a school teacher.

[A]

What's up, Dexter?

[B]

Yeah. Are you serious? I.

[A]

Oh, she was a school teacher.

[B]

My mother was a school teacher until I was born.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And once I was born, she's. How she. I was too fat. She said when she was picking me up. No, it was a baby. Because then she. Me and my brother, 11 months apart.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Obviously, my father was getting it in. I mean, I can't even. So I was like, what? But she couldn't pick me up out of the pen, the playpen, because I was a big old baby. And, you know, she had to quit school, and I was stealing all my brother's food. My brother's skinny today. She said, the double. You know, the double location. She's. She never understood why this baby was always crying. She said, I'll pull the bottle out of his mouth, drink it all, and then give it back to him, wherever he was. I drink every. All his. Everything. Then they said at night, they put six bottles in my crib. They would hear. They said I would shake them and then throw them against the wall. They said I would be.

[A]

When you were done.

[B]

Oh. They said they would just hear boom, boom, boom. They were like, what? I was like, hey, it's time for another bottle. So that's why I was like. I was always a chubby kid. I was like, it was your fault, Ma. You're not supposed to give me all of that. She's like, I just did the best I could do. So it was fine.

[A]

And at what age? So we talked before you came in here. We're both single parents. What age do you become a mom?

[B]

Oh, my God. I became a mom. Like 40s. In my 40s.

[A]

Okay, lady, you wait.

[B]

My dog is really bothering me. And I became a mom, you know, unconventionally, because I wanted to become a mom, like have a baby, but I couldn't keep a man. So I. I was engaged a lot, but I didn't.

[A]

What do you mean, a lot? How many times? A lot.

[B]

Oh, seven rings easily. Sevens easily. Got more than Jordan. Got more than Jordan.

[A]

You got one more than Jordan.

[B]

Seven rings, baby.

[A]

How many marriages?

[B]

Zero.

[A]

No, come on. Seven engagements, zero weddings.

[B]

I just. I couldn't commit, couldn't think. I was afraid. Fear all the things.

[A]

What were you scared of?

[B]

Taking my money. I'm scared of that, too, because I had too many male friends and friends. And I'm a girl, so I was like, what am I worried about? But then my other girlfriends, you know, taking the. I don't know. I was afraid of a lot of things. I was afraid of not being a good wife. I was just afraid I was living life as just being an actress, comedian. I really didn't know how to be a wife. I didn't know how to stop. So workaholic. I didn't understand work, life, balance. I was like, I don't even know how to do this. So, you know, that is, you know, one of my regrets. But, you know, God is good.

[A]

And what's the regret? That you never got married?

[B]

That I never got married. Because I could be on my fifth marriage by now. Easy, easy. Get one. Held him for two, three months. Boom, got another one. I could have been. If I was thinking, now, I might have been broke or I might have been rich. Who knows?

[A]

You could have been rich. I think it's the other way around.

[B]

Somebody told me, they were like, you can't make more money than you can marry. I was like, why did somebody tell me that at 20, when I was giving up? Ain't that a great one? I said, I'm gonna be giving away for free. I didn't understand. So.

[A]

So wait, let me ask you this, then. Without naming names, obviously, or anything, of the seven, is there one? Looking back, you'd have been like, I could have married one of those guys.

[B]

And made it two, three. Now, see, that's the thing. We don't know about how much it worked, but a couple of them had a lot of money. I didn't know I was such a tomboy and so all over the place. If somebody I needed one of my girlfriends who was a gold digger that had been like, let me you tripping. But I dated everyone just to date for love. And like them, basketball player, rapper, you.

[A]

Know, you just have R and B.

[B]

Right? I just want to be in love. I want to marry for love. So. And.

[A]

But also as an independent hustler, yourself out there grinding and making your own money, it seems. And sounds like you didn't really give a. About their money. You cared about yours.

[B]

I didn't.

[A]

So you didn't marry for money, which ultimately is a better decision in the end.

[B]

In the end, it would been a better decision. Why am I out here working right now?

[A]

Well, I mean, what you did is wrong. Oh, oh, I'm supporting your ass over here. You're not.

[B]

Oh, my bad, my bad.

[A]

I hear you'd had the money. But the mental that comes with it sometime, I don't know, man, but I.

[B]

Think this, see my parents, when you talk about entitlement and how people raise people. I had a good life growing up, you know, traveled the world, lived well. So it's hard to, you know, you. I was one of those girls, I don't need your money, you know, pay off your 30. 30 grand, go shopping. I didn't even hear of anything. I was like, what? I said, you gonna give me? And in back of my mind I was like, that's gonna cost me some. My mother's house. Oh yeah. I'd find money in my purse. And they were like, go, go, go, go shopping. What you need? I didn't understand, but I understood. Nothing is free. That's the one thing my mother told me. Nothing's free. And if you take that money and you go shopping, you could have been like. Because it probably was nothing to them. I just didn't do it because I was like, I don't need it. And at that time, I was in a two bedroom apartment. You did need it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, so, you know, in hindsight, oh, well, it is what it is.

[A]

So then what makes you change your mind and say, okay, I'm gonna, I wanna be a mom now and I'm ready to do that. What happens? Was it the person you met? Was it a time in your life? Was it a combination of like sort of everything that lined up? Or were you just like, hey, I'm pregnant and I'm gonna do this?

[B]

I love this. Is that my camera?

[A]

I want to make sure right there.

[B]

I have to talk to the people. Ain't nobody really in this life talking about, oh, it's my time. I'm gonna be a mother. A lot of us get. Oops. Oh, what happened? That's one. And so I could just tell Ryan right now, I didn't have no baby. And nobody said, oh, my son was four days old. A girl who I was close to had him, left him at the hospital and put my name and number on his toe. No, can't make this up, Ryan. It's my life. What?

[A]

Kim, Somebody had a whole ass person and just put your name on it and said, I'm out.

[B]

Get the fuck out. That happens in la. And they bring me the baby like it's a. Like it's a puppy. You gotta call.

[A]

They brought.

[B]

What do you mean? Yes, you can.

[A]

I didn't even know you could even do that.

[B]

I didn't either.

[A]

Don't you have to show an idea? Like, I'm the person that this baby's coming out of. Here's my name.

[B]

I thought you had to do something. No.

[A]

And you can just be like, you know what? Give this to Kim.

[B]

Who is Kim? They called me. I was like, y' all not gonna go through no checks and balances.

[A]

Wait, real quick. What is your day?

[B]

What are you doing?

[A]

Do you remember what you're doing when that call hits? Oh, yeah, it's just a regular old day for you.

[B]

It's a regular old day. I'm over at my house, like in Valley Village. Nice, small, quaint, quaint little house. My mom and dad are in town and I don't know, probably tell my, hey, y', all, let's go get something to eat. Hey. Hey, what's happening? Wait, who's this from the hospital? No. Ha. I don't want no baby. They left me a baby. You crazy? I don't know what comic this is, but you tripping. That's funny as hell. Ha ha. But I ain't got time to play with y' all on the phone. Hung up.

[A]

Cause who gets a call saying, someone left you? A person.

[B]

Who gets that call? Who does what? They call back. They said, this is, you know, one of them mean social workers. This is not a game. I said, wait, what are you talking about? She was like, such and such. Left the hospital, left the baby and left your name. Now, either you can come get this baby. I'm telling. That's how mean she was. Or we're going to put him in the system. I didn't know what that was. I said, the system. I said, like the Matrix. I'm still cracking up, right? The lady said, you got 20 minutes. I said, what are you talking about? I go back in the house. Oh, I think I was outside. Go find my mom and dad. I said, I gotta talk to you. I said, literally, there's, you know, those goosebumps all over your body? I said, I don't know what's happening here. I said, somebody just called and said, I got a baby. And my mother and father are like, what are you talking about? I said, she had a baby. She left the hospital. I don't know where she is, but they left. She left my name.

[A]

And you hadn't seen this woman? You say your friends were, but you didn't.

[B]

Yeah, but I had. I had seen her. I knew she was pregnant.

[A]

Okay, that's what I want to ask. You knew she was pregnant, but you're not seeing her throughout the whole pregnancy like a regular?

[B]

I said, wait, hold up, hold up, hold up. My mother, I love my mother. God rest her soul. My mother. I'm telling from a funny family. They are hilarious. My mother said, well, she said, looking around the house, she said, you ain't got no man. She said, you ain't got no kids. She said, you got one dog. She said, now, I don't see no men coming through here. I was like. She said, and you old. She said, go get that baby. I said, what? I was actually appalled because, I mean.

[A]

She just took seven punches to your face and then said, go get that deal.

[B]

Oh, no, she didn't. She didn't give a damn. Yeah. I was like, what? But see, that's what I'm talking about, the time thing. Even about marriage. I needed that person to say, hey, you getting older. Because I have never had any concept of time since I've been bored. So I'm just in life, floating around. I've never said my age. I don't care about my age. I never thought about it, but I wish then somebody said, you know, you should have a baby during this age. You should, you know, get a house. You should do these things. I'm just living life, having a good time. My mother put some reality on my behind. She said, okay, tell, what you doing? You going to the club tonight? What you doing next week? Maybe go on a trip with your friends? What are you doing with your life? Trying to make this acting thing work. I was like, oh, what? She said, you go get that baby and do something with your life. I was like, when I tell you the lady called back. I was like, my mama said.

[A]

We'Ll be right there. And that day you become a mom.

[B]

Just like that day.

[A]

I've never heard a story of a woman becoming a mother like that. Have you?

[B]

No. You? Absolutely.

[A]

In the world of now that you're in. Because once we get introduced to things like this, you tend to hear some stories like, oh, yeah. In your whole life in. And have you ever heard of another woman just leaving a baby to another late. Like, I know they drop them off at the hospital or the fire. I've never heard someone say, and give.

[B]

This to X. I guess you're right. Did he think about it like that? It's crazy. That's how you became a mom that day.

[A]

Getting ready to.

[B]

Just hanging out.

[A]

Mom and dad getting ready to go get something to eat. And all a sudden, boom, you're a mom.

[B]

Do you understand the pressure in my. But how. God has it. If my mom and daddy wasn't there, first of all, I wouldn't had the baby. I'd have been like, forget that.

[A]

Yeah, you know what?

[B]

I would have been like? Whatever. I'd have been like this.

[A]

Whatever.

[B]

You put the baby in the system, whatever that is. My mom and dad were there, and I wouldn't have known what to do. I've babysat before. But.

[A]

So wait, y' all go get the baby, right? That your mom goes with.

[B]

The lady said. She said, we're gonna bring the baby to you. I said, what? She said, you got two hours. She said, because you need a car seat and you need a bassinet for the baby to sleep in. I said, huh? She said, you got two hours. Go get them. And the social workers are bringing the baby. They gotta check the baby out the hospital. I said, come on. Baby's four days old. I was like a real baby. She said, just go get the things. This is the funny thing. You know them old bassinets from 1960s?

[A]

Yeah, I know those white ones. Yeah.

[B]

My daddy is walking around the store looking for that. He was like, they don't have no bassinet. I can't find a bassinet. I was like, daddy, they knew they got. It's a play yard now. Now it's a whole thing. They got cribs. He was like, what? Those nice little bassinets? I said, dad, that's from the 60s.

[A]

Yeah, it was pack and play now, right?

[B]

We got pack and play, right? So then we got the. Then we get the. The car seat. We bought these things, we put them on and we.

[A]

You're running out with a time limit to beat this child who's now coming into your day today for the rest of your life.

[B]

Do you understand? No. Insane. And they say. They didn't say get nothing else. They just told you, get those two things.

[A]

Those are your starter kits. No crib, no nothing.

[B]

No. I was like, that's your starter. I guess that's what you gotta have. And then my girlfriend Mari, I call her, thank God, because she got her camera and she was documenting it. She was like, what? And they literally come with a clear. You know, those clear trash bags, the big ones? They come with a clear trash bag in one hand, the baby in the car seat, like, cradle thing over their arm in the other hand. I said, that's it. And they gave me this big clear bag. It has diapers, little milk. The little milk thing. And stuff for his. For the umbilical cord where it came out. And. And a piece of paper with instructions.

[A]

Oh, yeah, because you're not breastfeeding.

[B]

Duh. Yeah, but Sherri shepherd told me to breastfeed. That's a whole nother story, dumbass. And I tried it. So that's a whole nother thing. Just don't listen to your friends. They stupid as hell.

[A]

This episode is brought to you by Prize picks. You and I make decisions every day. But on prize picks, being right can get you paid. Don't miss any of the excitement this season. On prize picks, where it's good to be right. I'm so fired up for Sunday night. All right, it's ravens, bills. I'll be home. I'll be right in front of my tv. I can't wait to get this season started. If it doesn't end in the labardi, I'm gonna be devastated, y'.

[B]

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[A]

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[B]

D's giving me all kind of bad advice.

[A]

So your whole family's there then when you get this gift.

[B]

Yeah, and that was.

[A]

Okay, I want to pause here for a second, cuz do we contact the moment. Do you not hit this lady?

[B]

I'll be like, contact her.

[A]

The lady that. That gifted you this child.

[B]

What phone number?

[A]

She's. You don't know how to get a hold of her or anything?

[B]

No. She eventually calls.

[A]

How. How long is eventually?

[B]

Oh, well, there's a court situation.

[A]

All right, once you do that, tell your story. No, no, I can't get over that.

[B]

You have to. The court has to release the parents rights and you have to bring visit. It's a whole.

[A]

Oh, so she can't just get a baby. So she still has rights.

[B]

Yes, all parents have rights. Foster beat. The kids do all kind of stuff. When you see all these kids in foster care, they all have. Are attached to a parent if they.

[A]

Somewhere out there somewhere.

[B]

And until you can adopt that child, the court system has to release their parental rights in order for you to. It's a lot of red tape, which is ridiculous. That was one of the things I really wanted to fight against and try to get, you know, let's get this foster care. Because a lot of our homeless problem is because of foster care. Because the children get released onto the street at 18.

[A]

I see. Because they never got a hold of a parent or even that parent never claimed where they go.

[B]

Right. Think about us, our kids, our kids with us to 25, 30. You leave. And so I know Mayor Bass talked about pushing the age up. We talked about let the kids stay in foster care until they're 25. Give them insurance to it, because this will cut down on this homeless problem. I digress.

[A]

Okay, so we have a brand new baby now. Is. Does the baby come with a name?

[B]

No. Well.

[A]

Well, like, did they.

[B]

No, I had to. They told me to come. I gotta sign the birth certificate. So I prayed on it and I heard Joshua, and I'd be scared to go. I had opened the Bible and I was like, how do you usually have nine months to think about a child's name? Right.

[A]

Or longer, if you're even considering doing this. Yeah.

[B]

And the mean lady was like, you gotta get a baby a name.

[A]

I said, two hours.

[B]

You got.

[A]

You get a name, some diapers and a goddamn car seat.

[B]

Hear you. I was like, are you serious?

[A]

It will be there.

[B]

Hot mess.

[A]

It's crazy that.

[B]

That I had.

[A]

This is the first time in my life I've ever heard of someone. Obviously, the adoption. I mean, my. This is. This is crazy. My mom's sister died shortly after childbirth, and that baby did live. And my grandmom didn't raise that baby, which I always thought it was a little odd, but her niece and her husband were trying to have a child, and they knew they couldn't, and they asked, could we adopt that baby? So she said yes. So I. You know, things like that. I've never heard of anybody just going, this shit's yours. And you don't even know. That lady didn't have a conversation with you, say, look, I'm thinking about this, and you might want to go get.

[B]

A car seat in Ambassador.

[A]

I mean, two days isn't enough time. You had two hours. Hours to prep for a human coming.

[B]

In your life, and he's still around.

[A]

But now you got to learn about formula. You know, Are you going to any. We even went to the Santa Monica. What's that place called? They don't have it anymore, but it was a whole class for breastfeeding and pumping and everything, so you could learn how to. And they were very realistic that all the ladies got in there. Everybody wants to be. No smoking, no drinking sushi, no nothing. And they said. They said to me, would you like a beer? And so I thought they were joking, so I said, yeah, I'd love a beer. And they were like, okay, it's in the back. And grab a Heineken. I was like, wait, you're for real? And they wanted me to have the beer. I felt like an. Because I'm like one of the couple guys in this whole meeting, and I'm just sipping, but the lady said, listen, you're not the first person to have a baby ever. Do women in Japan eat sushi? Yes. Do women in Europe drink a glass of wine every now and then? Yes. Like, you're gonna be fine. Your baby is gonna be fine. You're not the first human to ever go through this. It's gazillions of us. You'll be good. And I think they really help these ladies. Like, just take a, you know, a little bit of anxiety and pressure off of having to be this perfect, you know, ecosystem and vessel for this child. Or else you're gonna make it, you know, slow or blind or deaf or whatever. You're gonna this kid up. But now you got a baby coming to you. You don't know Any of the genetics. You don't know anyhow. You don't know if this kid's prone to asthma, cancer, anything. What the Is going through your head? How do you, like, create even a formula and a routine when you've had no time to even think about this?

[B]

You. You just do. I think it's. What is that? Flight or fight? Fight or flight?

[A]

Fight or flight.

[B]

That was it. It was. You just. Do you get a lot of friends? I was just talking about how Vivica Fox said, meet me in the parking lot on mail rolls. What? She had gone to Macy's, cleared them out. Her whole car was filled with baby stuff.

[A]

That's sweet.

[B]

Never get she over. She said, open up your car. I gotta go, girl. You know, I was like, what? And just put Vanessa Bell Calloway. I can go through the actresses that really just gave me so much stuff. Oh, my God. My guy from Family Guy, the director and producer. I want to say Henry. Oh. Oh, I think so. He. He gave me. I never. It was a thousand dollars on, like, diapers.com or baby. Whatever it was. It was like. It was like Amazon was coming out and, you know, you ripped all for diapers. I could. I was like, what? And I thought that was very generous for so many people. And then people told me this. Sherry told me, Sher shepherd said, when you have a baby or adopt a baby, she said, kim, watch. She said, the blessings that are going to happen in your life. I was like, whatever. I don't believe you never stopped working when that baby came, I had enough money, I was able to care for the baby. Everything. Everything worked out. And I said, wow, Sherry, you were right. Shows were coming, offers were coming. I was gonna be okay. And that's an Oprah Winfrey gave me a whole show called Raising Whitley about my kid and help people, you know, take the stigma of adoption. And so it was.

[A]

It was different than adoption, too. This is. This is a different kind of adoption. I mean, it's adoption.

[B]

Well, that's why.

[A]

But it's like she was like, what?

[B]

I had to get all my friends to help me.

[A]

Things not even easy, actually. I mean, not to downplay this, and I don't mean to sound like an ignorant or anything, but you actually got a child easier, I feel like, than people who've gone made it.

[B]

I wouldn't have made it.

[A]

To really try to go through all that adoption process and everything.

[B]

Huh?

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Absolutely. My girlfriend Tracy just got one through.

[A]

Through the process and everything, but she.

[B]

Was about to give up.

[A]

How Long.

[B]

Four years, if not more years. And so I even did a video for them and she just sent me a picture of a little baby. I was like, oh, my God. Because this is the thing. You can still get a child. And then the parents are like, nah, I'm not gonna give up my. Right.

[A]

Not about that part. I forgot.

[B]

People get these kids, so they all.

[A]

Sudden come back and they say, nah, never mind. Even if you've been with them for years and they can their whole life up again if they. Oh, man. So they're really not free until they're 18?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

They're really not.

[B]

Until. Unless their parental rights are.

[A]

Are given up.

[B]

Given up? Yes.

[A]

And does that happen often? Or these people hold on to these kids because it's some kind of.

[B]

No, the courts will take them sometimes. Oh, the courts will release them in a minute. And so what?

[A]

Women slash moms now? Do you surround yourself with all the bad ones?

[B]

That's a great. Oh, gosh, my friend, my sister.

[A]

Your circle changes, though. Does it matter?

[B]

Yeah, still. But what I realized, there was a lot of moms out there. But what was great is my friends who are not mothers stepped into be God moms and aunts. That was the difference in how it changed their life. They are responsible for my son Joshua as much as I am. I got one who has been doing all his birthdays and Halloween since he was born. He doesn't even talk to me about his birthday or Halloween. He goes straight to Aunt Nikki. She lives in D.C. oh, yeah, they have a whole thing. What do you want to be this year? She'll send it to him. Get a basketball player. What kind of shoes when it's birthday. Okay, what kind of birthday do you want a party? Do you want to go to dinner? Handles that. I have a girlfriend who Cynthia Boute is all about education. She will make sure. What kind of school is he going to, you know, so. So every friend. Amy Winer is his godmom. And Rory Roy Burton, these two. Oh, and Mari. They're responsible. And when I tell you, they take it on full. These are the people who don't have children. And it made a difference in their life because I didn't say, can you babysit them? I said, can you be in his life for the rest of his life? It's a different kind of ask.

[A]

That's a big ass.

[B]

Yeah. And I said, I need you to. You know, Annie is a father. Rodney Van Johnson, when he was maybe two weeks old, you know, he asked me, he said, I never. I never Had a father. He said, I would love for him to have father. Can I be his father? Soap opera actor. But he was just over the other day fixing it and making him read. But he's been his dad. That's his. He calls him his dad.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Calls him when he gets in trouble or dad.

[A]

He have any other kids?

[B]

He never does. He has two boys.

[A]

Did this Joshua, you said your son's name is Did. Did Joshua's presence in these friends lives also then any of them go on to have kids? No, no, no.

[B]

They have Joshua.

[A]

What you just said about his. Joshua's dad now makes me think. Obviously this lady didn't have a baby on her own. There's a father out there for this child.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Do you know anything about this man?

[B]

Now, good luck. If anyone thinks there's Joshua's dad, please contact me. Would be nice to know who you.

[A]

Are, Joshua, now 14. You don't. I mean we don't want his dad popping up now do we? Because don't.

[B]

He doesn't even ask. No, no, no, no.

[A]

They took both parents rights, so there's no. What about the mom? She's still alive. Are these people alive?

[B]

Yes, they are, but they.

[A]

What happens if. When Joshua decides to go look for them? Yeah, because listen, he didn't grow up in a world like we did, where there's no Internet and you run into the person at the GR or whatever because those losers stay local. That was the thing that always blew me away. You're going to give us up and you're going to live a mile away. I want to see you in the neighborhood.

[B]

Like, what are you doing? You should be going state.

[A]

We see you at the grocery store. Why am I running into my mom at Kmart? You know what I mean? Like get the fuck out of the state if you're going to leave your kids. Yeah, this boy ends up hitting a jackpot in a sense because what he does have more than anything are people who unconditionally love him and want him to succeed and be loved in life. This isn't about who you are and what you do or your friends do or none of that. I get that. But this boy goes from literally being just see ya to boom. Love has no idea what a gift. What a gift.

[B]

We try to tell him that too. We.

[A]

It'll be. You know how parody is? It's okay. It's a long game. Once he has kids, it should have been, how'd you do all this?

[B]

That's what he's going to.

[A]

We have to live long enough for that reward, though. That's what.

[B]

That reward.

[A]

That's the thing.

[B]

And I didn't get to. My mother died when Joshua was born. She got to see him for a few months, but I gotta thank her for this.

[A]

Oh, she passed quickly after.

[B]

Yeah. I couldn't believe it. I was like. But I did tell her.

[A]

I was like, man, you got a newborn basically, and you're burying your mom. And you said, I'm sorry. Your mom and dad passed in the same year. Quickly.

[B]

My dad. My dad's still around. Oh, he is working my last nerves. I talked to him yesterday. His memory slipping, but he sure know my name.

[A]

Is he a good grandfather?

[B]

Oh, yeah, Joshua. But Joshua. And he said the other day, when we going to Cleveland, he said, I want to see. I want to see papa before he dies. I said, what are you talking about? He said, well, ma, he's old. He might not have. I said, if you don't shut up. He was like, well, I want to spend some time with him. I said, okay. So he's supposed to be coming out here. They have a great relationship, which is always like, oh, I should have had kids earlier.

[A]

That's what I want to ask. Do you think that now?

[B]

Oh, yeah, absolutely.

[A]

You do, huh?

[B]

Oh, absolutely.

[A]

Hindsight. You would go back. How many would you have? More than one. Two.

[B]

Since it was three of us. I really. Because I was even go adopt a little girl because I feel like you should have a sibling. Because what I don't want is to be on my deathbed and I'm laying there and Joshua comes in with his new wife, who I'm looking at is going to take all my money.

[A]

She sure is.

[B]

Or it's gonna say, we're gonna put your mom in that home. I needed another sibling so they can say, no. Now we gonna. We. Let's do this with.

[A]

My mom's gonna live above my garage.

[B]

Right. When you buy yourself.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

This little boy, you know, that was the thing. People understand you. And some people are like, well, some of your kids don't even turn out right. But I know as a child and a sibling, when my mother was leaving here, I was glad I had my brothers, my younger brother, my older brother, because we had a whole conversation, her sisters. But having a sibling to say, hey. My brother's like, mama don't want to get burnt up. I said, she want to get burnt up. She says she want to get burnt up.

[A]

I had to think about it first. Now I was like, wait, what? Then I got it I got cremated.

[B]

I was like, they're gonna set this lady over. I'm sorry. It was a whole argument. My mama was like, yeah, you gotta burn me up. Like, I had a good life. My mother, you understand? My mother was very funny. She called me when the burial plots was on sale. She was like, girl, these burial plots is on sale. You better get you one. Get you one. Oh, God.

[A]

Okay, okay. So obviously you sound like a very forthcoming and honest family of people surrounding this child. At what point do you decide to tell him, hey, this is the deal. Just so you know. And what ages do you feel like that's appropriate to say to him? Like, you know, because it's important, I guess.

[B]

Yeah. Dogs. Our dogs are out there fighting.

[A]

They're out there.

[B]

This is a very important question. I'm glad you asked. Where people make the mistake. And I've talked to a couple people about this. Never hide adoption from a child because once they get older. And then you say, we're not your real parents. In that sense, their whole life becomes a lie.

[A]

Yeah. And the betrayal and flashes, like, what else did you.

[B]

Like, for whatever reason it is. I've heard too many stories. So my belief and what I did was I. Because you have to understand this a human. You're. You're. You're molding. I use the word adoption from day one because what has happened, and this is a scientific fact with my son, if you use a word, it never becomes foreign to them when they get older. I've heard we live in America. We live in America. This is what we live. Your whole life. You can't turn around, say, this ain't really America, you know, this is India or whatever the case is. So if you hear that your whole life. So adoption, as he's 2, 3, I was like, oh, my son's adopted in front of him. He never. He never asked, like. And I said, do you understand what adoption is? He might have been eight. And then I explained, or three, maybe three or four. I would say there was a tummy, mommy. And then, I'm your mommy, Mommy. And you were born in Mehara. But you do that at 3, 4, 5. If they bring it up 8, they'll start asking questions. But you never lie. My son has never been like, what's adoption? Not one time. His friend was nine years old. I told his mother, now I have girlfriends who have adopted kids. You're right. Since I adopted, I do have a couple. And I said, you better. You better use the word adoption. Your whole. I said, so she tells Him. And then she gonna bring him over my house now he done broke apart. I was like, what is wrong? Why are you bringing him over here? But what was good is she brought him because Joshua's his best friend. I said, joshua's adopted also. I said, I'm sorry your mommy held it so long, but she didn't know any better. But adoption's a great day. I explained it to him. But what was more important is my son, who's two years older than him, jumped in and was like, man, I'm adopted. I got chosen. That's better. We. We were chosen.

[A]

Chosen's a much better word.

[B]

And that. So he talked to his friend.

[A]

Even if you're talking. Not even talking about a person, he's talking about adopting. New habits and shit. But chosen is such a better word. Way more. Way more intentional.

[B]

Way more. More intentional. And that made his friend go, oh. He was like, man, we special. Our mothers chose us. And I was like, wow. He took it over. So that's why using the word is so important, because it becomes part of their. They don't. They don't love you less. They don't anything. My son has never asked any questions yet. Yeah, he hasn't asked anything.

[A]

Well, now you got shit out there. Like these 23 and me. So 10 years from now, your son could have a sibling that pops up from the dad or the mom or.

[B]

Or both.

[A]

Who knows?

[B]

Absolutely.

[A]

And then are you. Would you be welcoming and loving of that sibling to come and be a sibling with your child?

[B]

Absolutely.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Absolutely. This is.

[A]

What a world that's laying out in front of you. We don't know any, but older. Yeah, older. Yeah.

[B]

I mean, nobody while he's young. One thing there is. What I find out with foster children or adopted children is called the. Is it the imposter syndrome or the regret. I forgot what it's called. But what happens is if they have siblings and they see their siblings aren't living as well as you are, there becomes a guilt. Oh, so now they try to sabotage themselves. Not wearing the clothes. Drugs. They do a lot. Seen it. So. Because now they're like, what are they eating? Well, can we go take my. My mother or. Or my sister and brother. Can we go give them some clothes? Can we go feed them? Can we. It's constant. And one of the attorneys when I adopted Joshua, when I was. You know, because you have to do you down at the courthouse, ladies, she's. I've been doing this for 30 years, little attorney. And she said, don't Let him meet his mother until he's older.

[A]

Is that right?

[B]

Yeah. I said, why? She said, we've been doing this. Another attorney was telling us, we've been doing this family court a long time. She said, they will always worry about their mother. They will always worry. Is she on the street? Is she warm enough? Especially if it's, you know, one of those kind of adoptions. She said, do not. I'll never forget that woman. She looked me dead in my eye. I said, makes sense, because you think about it, and then I know friends who've done it struggle. So you just wait until they're older now they're older, and they want to go find their mama and all that, go right ahead. Go help. Do what you want to do. So those are my words of wisdom.

[A]

So you've been with them literally since he's four days old? He's 14 now.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

What about dating men, bringing men into his life? Is that. Did that change for you? Like, you start getting a little more picky? Are you getting a little more. Do you start looking at men like, he could be a good father figure?

[B]

I don't like questions.

[A]

You know, what the I'm getting at?

[B]

What's wrong with you?

[A]

All right. How old was Joshua when you introduced him to the first man you were dating? Like, what age?

[B]

I got in a whole conversation with Nia Long about this, and I got what she's saying now, but you just.

[A]

Say, I get what she's saying now.

[B]

I do now. I was like, it was like most. Most black women, we always like this. Your uncle. Everybody was an uncle. But because you don't know if it's gonna work, I'm not gonna introduce him as my man. I don't know if it's gonna work. Now. I'm gonna tell you, my son ain't worth a damn. This was this week. So I have a friend. My ex came in town, but Joshua's been knowing him, but he came in town, he says to his face, are you a police officer, too? I just. Two.

[A]

He said, two.

[B]

I just looked at him. I said, you little asshole. I said, no, he's not. He's not a police officer. You know, because my other ex was a police officer. He was just over the house. But he said, you know, people like to help me, you know, fix things, but I got exes. I'm a great girl, but they, you know, they just friends in my life. But Joshua will see them. So it's very. I don't have. That's maybe two. So many People in my life. And there's guys and there's girls and. And it's just part of the. The village. So he's not. He has not gone to. There has not been anyone serious yet.

[A]

That's what I'm getting at.

[B]

There was one or two. Like, one. We. We traveled to Africa together. We did. We all know. All of us went. But we went to high school together.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

So that was a different kind of thing. So he knew that. Because I also didn't want my son to grow up and not see a relationship or see love. So it's a. It was a thin. I wanted him to see that. Yeah. Your mommy is a girl sometimes, you know, I could be.

[A]

Well, also, it's very important what this lady or these social workers said to you about introd. Don't introduce him to his mom because he's always going to worry, worry, worry. But I also believe. Believe, like, it's important for you to bring a. If. If a man is what you're wanting in the house, and then your son sees, oh, this man loves my mom. This man's nice to my mom.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

This is how you treat a lady. And my mom is responding well to it. So she must really like this guy. She trust him around me. And, you know, he's 14 now. Like, he knows what the up.

[B]

Yeah, absolutely.

[A]

He knows what's up. He knows what's up.

[B]

Even though I got him out the house for a couple days.

[A]

But he knows what's up, what's up.

[B]

But he knows. So he does. See.

[A]

But it's important, though, that his mom is also taken care of.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

You're his mom.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I'm gonna make sure you understand what I'm saying. Like, I get that if you meet this lady, is she eating tonight? I hope she's not there. But it's also important that this lady, the one that I live under her roof here for the last 14 years.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Is also loved and taken care of.

[B]

Okay. I'm gonna make sure that, you know.

[A]

And that's not something he needs to do.

[B]

That's right. I'm gonna make sure I get another man over to the house. Make sure my son sees. Then he does like this. Ah, ah, ah, ah. Like, if I hug a man.

[A]

That's the other thing I was gonna say. Has there been a guy where he's like, I don't like him.

[B]

Oh, oh, oh. I had an ex he couldn't stand cause he was strict. None of exes ever, like, put their hands on my son or anything. That I would. I would never allow that. They. But they.

[A]

But he's also getting too old now to put hands on. Cause he'll fight back.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

But what kind of discipline? What are you okay with letting someone just. How. You know what. What are your limits for disciplining your child?

[B]

You can yell at him, you can put him on punishment. You can give him like the one ex had him picking up all the leaves in the yard. One at a time. I was one at a time.

[A]

He's doing. He couldn't rake him. He had to go hand pick him up.

[B]

Taking that.

[A]

That motherfucker's gonna be out there for four hours.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Oh, man, I can watch a whole football game.

[B]

You can't. I bet you won't do that again. He was one. One by one.

[A]

Some right there.

[B]

Oh, yeah, he got him. But. So, see, I let him do that. But he remembers. He talks about him all the time.

[A]

I'll bet he remembered that.

[B]

Be like, Mr. Carlton. I don't. I don't like him.

[A]

That is too much. Oh, man, this has been a great episode. Wait, before we wrap up, I got a couple things. Let's talk about Honeydew. There's something you wanted us to mention about Honeydew, and we were talking before.

[B]

We recorded I love the name of the podcast, the Honeydew, with, of course, Ryan Sickle. I love Honeydew. Do you understand?

[A]

I. You're like. You said this to me. I'm like, you're the person.

[B]

I'm like, who doesn't love honeydew? That is the sweetest fruit. You get the right one.

[A]

That's it.

[B]

I don't.

[A]

Okay, you gotta get the right one. But it's like, this is what doctors always say. People say, oh, you know, if you're rapping and bacon. I'm like, you wrap anything in bacon, it's gonna taste good. What are you talking about? Prosciutto, melon and things like that. Like. Okay, whatever. But. But I had a doctor tell me one time, he's like, there's like one month out of the year that honeydew is like this. Like.

[B]

Okay, that's hilarious.

[A]

You like it though, huh?

[B]

I love honeydew.

[A]

Even over cantaloupe and all that?

[B]

Yeah, I pick. I eat the honeydew before I eat the canal.

[A]

You're the person at the work party that eats the honeydew. I'm telling you. Look, I have all these people mailing me to me like I'm at work function today. Sickler, this is what's left? And it's all honeydew. That's left in like two pieces of catalog.

[B]

See, people cut up the honeydew. That's not right. The hard honeydew.

[A]

Yeah, the hard.

[B]

Not good.

[A]

Yeah, white.

[B]

But you ever ride down the street and see one of those little umbrella people selling the vendors, you get some good honeydew from them.

[A]

You tell them I'll try it.

[B]

Get some honeydew, some cantaloupe, some pineapple, some watermelon and they put it in that thing and they squeeze the lime juice over it. Then they take some tahini and put it on there. Baby, let me tell you something. That's a meal. Delicious. $10, might be five.

[A]

Thank you so much for doing this.

[B]

Thank you. This was fun.

[A]

Before I wrap up here, I would love to hear advice you would give to 16 year old Kim Whitley.

[B]

16 year old Kim Whitley. Keep your legs closed.

[A]

Here's the thing though. It doesn't result in a pregnancy of a child.

[B]

The thing I would say also to 16 year old Kim, I would say have no fear. Do not let fear stop you from anything. Try it all. Except for cocaine.

[A]

That's great advice. Especially today. Especially in today's cocaine market.

[B]

Oh God, especially today. It's trash.

[A]

It's trash. I saw this video, them talking about, there's a two guys talking about how crack was so much better than the cocaine. The cocaine's killing you now. Like it's not like it was. It's a poison now. But a crackhead, he'll climb a pole, he'll start your motor. You know what I mean? These guys are just doing coke and dying. But crackheads live forever. They're like cockroaches. They're always out there with a cigarette hanging out of their mouth. Do whatever you need. They're just still there.

[B]

It's hilarious.

[A]

It's true. So if you're gonna do something, do crack instead of coke. Kim Whitley, thank you so much. One more time right here. Promote everything you'd like.

[B]

Hey y', all, it's Kim Whitley. Please follow me on my social media. Kim Kym Whitley across the board of all social media. Also my podcast with Sherri Shepherd. Two funny mamas. Please subscribe. Check that out. My movie is out right now. Happy Gilmore 2, which has broken all kind of box rock records, box office records. Happy Gilmore 2 with Adam Sandler on Netflix. Killing Mary sue, my other movie on Prime. Then I would say also go to walkinthelight movie.com it try to get it to the Oscars we're crowdfunding. But you know, also, once you see it out, please go and check it out.

[A]

Thank you so much. I loved it. This is a great episode.

[B]

Thank you. I enjoyed it.

[A]

As always. Ryan Sickler on all social media. We'll talk to you all next week.

[B]

Ram.