A (3:24)

Welcome back to the Honeydew, y'.

B (3:27)

All.

A (3:27)

We're over here doing it in the night. Pan Studios. I am Ryan Sickler. Thank you for watching this show. Thank you for supporting anything I do. And if you gotta have more, you gotta check out the Patreon. You guys. If you have a story that has to be heard, please submit it to honeydewpodcastmail.com. if you've sent it before, send it again. Bump it to the top. We want to do your story. You gotta check out the best of episodes we've done. They're free on this YouTube channel right here. If you're even thinking, like, ah, what is it? Go watch the best of episodes. They're the wildest things you'll see on Patreon. All right. Come see me on the road. Baltimore, June 28th. One night, one show only. I'm wrapping up my tour there. It's my last show before we drop the special, so get your tickets now@ryancickler.com. all right, that's the biz. You know what we're doing here? We're highlighting the low lights. And I always say, these are the stories behind the storytellers. I'm very excited to have this guest back on the Honeydew. Ladies and gentlemen, Yada's papas. Welcome back to the Honeydew.

B (4:29)

Give myself.

A (4:30)

Do it.

B (4:30)

There's only two of us.

A (4:31)

Don't get enough of that.

B (4:32)

It's not a round of applause. Yeah, a round of applause. Got to be two or more.

A (4:36)

Gotta be two or more.

B (4:36)

It's gotta be two or more.

A (4:37)

Good to see you.

B (4:38)

Good to see you, man. Good to see you. Good to hear that voice.

A (4:42)

Congrats on your new special right there. Promote everything right now.

B (4:46)

Yeah, go watch it. It's called Property owner. It's on YouTube. Go check it out. Netflix passed on it because I think that they discriminate against people whose eyes are too close together. I need to start some controversy to get people riled up to go watch it. So I think it's because of discrimination against people with cozy eyes.

A (5:06)

Cozy eyes.

B (5:07)

Yeah, I got cozy eyes.

A (5:08)

Nice. The way it says cozy eyes are watching you. People tell me if. If afternoon nap had a face that's exactly perfect.

B (5:18)

You do look like you just woke up from a nap always. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

A (5:22)

Shot at the mothership.

B (5:24)

Shot it at the mother.

A (5:24)

What's it called again?

B (5:25)

It's called property owner.

A (5:26)

Property.

B (5:27)

Yeah. It's basically about me moving from New York growing up. You know, my mother was a human rights lawyer. Very left wing, obviously, in the city and then moving out to the country and sort of understanding the cultural divide between, you know, the city and the country. Because if you break it down, I mean it's. It's not even generally, I would say it's probably a fact that urban areas are liberal and, and you know, suburb, suburban and country areas are Republican. And most of it's cultural. And so I'm stepping into that cultural landscape and understanding that it makes sense. It makes sense. And so the special is about the differences and me sort of stepping into those, into those, into those Carhartt boots. Going from the sneakers to the Carhartt boots. Being a property owner. So it's about that basically and being a girl dad doing that. So it's a little bit of both.

A (6:23)

You know, two girls. Right?

B (6:24)

Two girls.

A (6:25)

So you have two girls that you bought a house.

B (6:27)

Yeah, I thought you about to say I bought two girls.

A (6:29)

No, I mean two girls. You bought. Your girls are under what, how old?

B (6:35)

Both of them. My oldest one now will be five.

A (6:38)

Oh, five.

B (6:38)

Five. And my youngest is turning. Is tun right now. Two.

A (6:43)

Oh, that's right. When this comes out during COVID 24.

B (6:46)

Was a co. Yeah.

A (6:47)

And this one, this daughter's two. So you got two kids under six at a new house. That's a lot.

B (6:53)

Yeah, new house. I got two dogs, two girls and two wives. One that's nice. One that's mean. Depending on her. Depending on her slee. And I get it, I get it. Look, it's. She's. She raises the kids. I'm off the bench. That's how it goes. I'm off the bench.

A (7:14)

Oh, she's home with them.

B (7:15)

She's all. Yeah, she's. She's home. She's stay at home, mom. And she does most of it. And she's just better at it. They're just, just better at it. So that's just how it goes. I. I'm here to say women are better at that and that. And that's a good thing.

A (7:30)

Do you like being a dad?

B (7:32)

I love being a dad.

A (7:33)

Does it feel good to be, like, a provider?

B (7:37)

I don't. Yeah.

A (7:38)

I don't. Does it feel. Have you ever. Yeah. Have you ever stepped outside of yourself for a second and be like, I can got myself a house and got two little girls here.

B (7:45)

Man, if it gave me some leverage in my home, that would be nice. But, yeah, it does.

A (7:51)

It does.

B (7:51)

My wife.

A (7:52)

You got to do it yourself. You see that real. That guy that was doing the. What was it, a spool or something? He's like. And I realize this is the land. The ladies, like, clowned them for it. He was so sad. Internet defending him. I can't remember what it was.

B (8:04)

I never seen it. Yeah.

A (8:05)

He's like, yeah, I just realized all the years, this is my life in this thing. And she's like, yeah, well, you're an idiot. You just looked at her, like, with tears in his eyes.

B (8:15)

Like, I try to have a moment for myself. Yeah. It's the. The wife is the happy wife. Happy life is true. She runs the house, she makes the rules. She's the boss. I'm kind of the enforcer, but not really. Right. So I'm the enforcer of good times because my wife's father is a doctor. So it's like me being the provider means nothing to her. You know, she grew up. Okay, So I can't use that.

A (8:40)

I meant more for your kids, though, you know, I thought you meant in.

B (8:43)

The battle of the sexes.

A (8:44)

No, no, no. Oh, no, no. Sorry. Not at all. I just mean, does it feel good to be like, man, I got, you know, two little healthy girls over here, which we'll get into.

B (8:52)

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

A (8:53)

And I. I'm, you know, listen, here's the thing about comedy. Her dad's a doctor. Yeah. No offense to anybody out there who's a doctor, but they have a program where if you do this, you become a doctor. That's right. And I always say, you know what they call the guy who. Or person who finished last in med school? Doctor.

B (9:11)

Right.

A (9:12)

Still fudgeing.

B (9:12)

Doctor. Doctor.

A (9:13)

You're a shitty one. Yeah. Statistically, there's going to be one of those people is going to be the worst.

B (9:18)

You're going to have two and a half star reviews, but you're still a doctor.

A (9:21)

Still, probably.

B (9:22)

Yeah.

A (9:23)

Comedy. Yeah, Comedy. No, there's no. Course, there's no anything. So to Jump into this whirlpool and still fucking come out with a house and two girls. And I mean, that's gotta feel good.

B (9:35)

It does. It feels good. And, and I think probably the thing that feels the best about it is the lifestyle it affords that we're able to spend time with them. So it's like I'm able to do what my parents didn't do because they weren't comics. They weren't comics and you know, they just abandoned me and left me there because they were working so much and, you know, had their walls up from their traumatic lives. So it's good to break the cycle, be home, be a father first. Make that choice. That's a choice. Because comedy and being a father are opposite. I mean, it's great because your schedule is like, you're there when you're there, but then when you're gone, you're gone. And I don't like that when you're gone, you're gone part there. It's sort of opposite like that. And so I just, I had a little bit of an existentialist crisis where I was like, what am I? My. Because you got to go full after comedy, you got to be all on it, on the road, take everything. And so I just finally got to the point where I was like, I'm a father first. I'm a father. I don't, that's, I'm not going to struggle with two. If I have to choose, I'll go father. And then a calm came over me and I was actually a calm about my career too. It's like where however big it gets, it gets, but it's good right now. And I pass up on a lot of stuff. It's, you know, the agents get mad, but it's like, fuck you, dude. It's like whatever, you know, first of all, most of the money I'm making myself anyway, but so it's, it's the best of both worlds. Like everything is. That's the best you can hope for. But that aspect of it I appreciate is that like I could be there for a 24 hour, 48 hours, 72 hour span, pick them up from school, take them to school, you know, pre K right now. And so that part is good. Yeah, so, and I love that. And you give it to the family, you give it to, hey, my wife. This is what I've committed to. These are the choices I've made. I'm going all in on it. And, and so family first. And it just feels nice and cozy to have A family.

A (11:31)

I agree. I mean, also making the decision to be father first, I feel like as long as you make the right decision, it'll all fall in line after that. If you go after the wrong thing, it's not going to line up.

B (11:44)

I got to give credit to my good friend, godfather of my second daughter, Paul Versi, comedian, Very funny.

A (11:51)

Shout out Paul Verze.

B (11:53)

He said something I never will forget. It's like he said a few things, but, you know, he's a family guy, a great father. He said, any decision you make for your kids is a right decision. And I was just like, whoa. Because you get these things that come up, you know, and you're like, ugh, you know, I gotta go here or do I go LA before we are? I gotta go to Austin for two weeks or I got this schedule at whatever it is. And if you put your kids first and it's a decision for your kids, no matter what you lost, it's a good decision. So that just put me at ease too, because these things are confusing when you become a new dad, especially when you're a comedian. You know, you're. You're probably a broken toy to begin with, so you're uncomfortable being a father. Then all your childhood shit starts coming up. When you're looking at your kid and you're loving your kid, you're going, oh, that's all they had to do. And they didn't do it.

A (12:45)

Yeah.

B (12:45)

All they had to do was play with me and they didn't do it. Yeah. Oh, my parents treated me like I was 40 my whole life. There was like, here's your brain injured brother. Figure it out.

A (12:57)

That's all you had to do. Yeah. A kind word, a pat on the back. Yeah, I think of that all the time. Like right here is where I would have liked some encouragement. Like, I agree. I'm proud. Yeah, I'm proud of you, girl.

B (13:08)

Yeah, well, that's why we do what we do is cuz we're trying to get it from strangers. Yeah, yeah, it's. It's a cliche, but it is true.

A (13:15)

It is 100, 100 true.

B (13:17)

So yeah, it's being a father has of two because, you know, and Burr said something interesting to me once. He said when you have one, you're like, you got it, you got a kid. But when you have two, you have a family. And so it, yeah, it feels that way. It's like there's. There's life in the house, there's more than one person. You know, I don't just have a daughter. I got. I'm not a father with a daughter. I have a family now. You have two kids, so it's great. And yeah, you got. The wife's there and the wife is great, and I love my wife, but, you know, you need to. You know, I wish I couldn't. I can't use that as leverage. So what I do is I try to be nice to my kids as nice as I can to my kids, because I want them to grow up to be beautiful, you know, well adjusted women. But also if. If me and her get divorced, I have them as allies. So that's good. That's a good reason to be great to your daughters is if you get divorced, you got allies. Yeah. So I'm like, you know, look at her, you know, look what she doing mom with her ang. You know, even though her anger is, you know, is appropriate at the time they're doing something wrong. You know, I go like, well, look at her getting angry. She's got anger problems. Even though it's the right thing. But just in case, you know, I got allies. That's what you got to do. And that's why I'm never getting like, people. Guys who get snipped or whatever. Like Ari Shafir got snipped, don't get sniffed, dude. Because if now he's married, he has no leverage. That's the one leverage men have.

A (14:43)

What do you mean?

B (14:44)

We can always leave and fudgeing, do an Al Pacino and have another family at 80 leverage we have. Nobody wants it, but I like to be able to threaten it. It's a card.

A (14:54)

I like to be able to threaten it. I'm threatening you with this senior citizen.

B (15:00)

Look, Mike, it can still. I can still do it.

A (15:03)

Yeah, you need to give me a downs baby. But I got one in me.

B (15:07)

I still got one in me. Yeah. That's the only advantage we have over women.

A (15:12)

So he snipped and married and has no more advantage.

B (15:15)

He's got no. He's got no leverage. No, you need leverage. You need a little bit of leverage.

A (15:19)

That's hilarious.

B (15:20)

Yeah.

A (15:21)

Let's shift gears and talk about your daughter, your youngest daughter. Yeah, when she was born, I guess there were some issues. When she was born.

B (15:30)

Yeah. So both my daughters were born. You know, my first one was during COVID So there was that fear. I did. We taught. I think we talked about that.

A (15:36)

Yeah. We got yelled at by the Internet.

B (15:38)

Yeah. My cousin just died of cancer. That sucked. And you know, while my daughter was being born, I was going through that. And then also my daughter, as it turned out, first of all, my first daughter. We didn't know that my wife had what they call preeclampsia, which is, like, can be very dangerous, is where the blood pressure spikes. So it was during COVID right? My baby. My first baby was born, so they weren't even checking her for stuff like that. And, you know, that was during that. It was like Covid at the beginning. So, you know, back then, like, we look back and it's like, if you didn't have Covid, they just let you die. Like, oh, you got a heart condition. You're like, you're on the. You're in the back of the line.

A (16:17)

Yeah. You're in the cancer.

B (16:19)

You're in the hallway. Because this person has Covid. Yeah. We got to see them first. So finally they caught it on her. On my daughter's due date, the first one. And we went right to the delivery because it's very dangerous. Preeclampsia. And. And ironically. And I'll let you know why. My first baby was born under six pounds. She was very small. Right. But she. It wasn't premature. She was born on her due date, which mysteriously was my father's birthday a year after he died. Which still blows my mind. That.

A (16:54)

Wait.

B (16:55)

Yeah, your daughter blows my mind.

A (16:56)

Your oldest daughter and your first daughter share the same birthday.

B (16:59)

It's the craziest thing.

A (17:00)

And wait, he was born. She was born on the anniversary of his first death After.

B (17:06)

No, his birthday.

A (17:07)

Oh, she was born.

B (17:10)

They shared the same birthday. And it was her. It was her due date. Her due date was his birthday. And then she was born when my wife had the preclampsia, like, she wasn't exactly ready, but because of the preeclampsia.

A (17:22)

They'Re like, we got to do this now.

B (17:23)

Born on her due date. They caught it on her due date. That's why there's a 1 in 365 chance that. And it was a year after he died. My dad died in 2019. My daughter was born 2020 on his birthday. And I swear to God, this is a true story. I've become a lot more, like, humble in with spirituality and stuff.

A (17:44)

I was about to say, if that doesn't make you some. At least think about spiritual.

B (17:49)

It's crazy. It's crazy.

A (17:52)

The man who gave you life to die. You give life to a child, and she's born on that man's birthday one year after he dies.

B (18:00)

It's crazy.

A (18:01)

That's crazy, dude.

B (18:02)

And then I swear to God. God, we're in the. We're in the hospital room, right? And they're going to induce her, you know, because they had to get the baby out because of her preeclampsia. We turn on the television, and it means something to me. I don't know if it's coincidence. I don't know. I mean, even I get choked up because it just. I felt it when it happened. We turn on the tv, and it was a cooking channel show on about they were making Coltslaw right Now, My dad grew up in his dad's diner. We're Greek, so, you know, stereotypes don't fall from the sky.

A (18:34)

And.

B (18:35)

And he loved cold slow. Like nobody.

A (18:38)

Are you saying cold slaw?

B (18:40)

Yeah. Yeah. I'm sorry. I also call it Dracula. I'm from New York. Is it coleslaw?

A (18:47)

It's coleslaw with an E. C. Oh.

B (18:50)

It'S coleslaw because it's cold curse.

A (18:52)

Look it up.

B (18:53)

I'm pretty sure.

A (18:55)

No, it ain't cold.

B (18:57)

It's not a WASP kid from. From Connecticut.

A (19:00)

It's cold slaw with an E. Yeah, yeah. It ain't cold.

B (19:05)

I've been calling it cold slaw this whole time.

A (19:07)

I heard it the first time. Like, are you hitting me with a cold slaw right now?

B (19:12)

Is it named after a dude named Cole? Why is it called? It would make so much more sense for it to be cold slaw because it's slaw and it's cold.

A (19:21)

I'm with you on it. I mean, for a split second, I was like, wait, am I wrong right now? Yeah, Colt's law.

B (19:28)

There's a lot of people watching, watching right now.

A (19:29)

Give me the hot slaw.

B (19:30)

Yeah, I bet there's a lot of people who are fighting that out, too. Or maybe I'm just the only.

A (19:35)

We're clipping this to put it out there for. Just see what they all think.

B (19:39)

It's coleslaw.

A (19:40)

Cold slaw.

B (19:41)

I guess there was a dude named Cole who loved it as much as my dad did. My dad loved.

A (19:47)

I'm sorry.

B (19:47)

Now I've learned. I'm glad I did this podcast. Now. I know I've been saying it wrong for my entire life. It's coleslaw, not cold slaw.

A (19:55)

And he loved it, dude.

B (19:56)

He loved it to the point where.

A (19:58)

What is it really? Just cabbage and mayo. Liquid mayo.

B (20:02)

He would get another way. He'd go. And sometimes it would be all he'd eat. We'd go to a diner or whatever, and he'd Get. He'd go. He'd say, give me a bigger plate of the coleslaw. And then all he would eat is the coleslaw. That's how much he loves coleslaw.

A (20:14)

That's a lot. Yeah.

B (20:16)

He would get.

A (20:16)

That's like a salad of it.

B (20:18)

He would get a salad of coleslaw. He would. He. And they would look at him confused.

A (20:23)

Yeah, yeah, we give that away.

B (20:26)

There's a couple times he'd be like, you bring me another.

A (20:28)

Bring me another.

B (20:29)

Be like, can we just bring you. And he'd be like, yeah, just put it. So he would just get in a bigger bowl.

A (20:32)

And he would. It would be the only thing he ate.

B (20:34)

He wouldn't order anything.

A (20:35)

He would eat the coleslaw fries. No, nothing.

B (20:37)

He would just eat the coleslaw. And they should have charged him for him. And so you turn the TV and they were making. It was like some chef making her coleslaw. And I just got chills because my brain went immediately to my dad on his birthday. And of course. And it's also birthday. It's his birthday, my daughter, favorite meal, his favorite thing. And it's a quite unique thing. It's like, you're not going to meet a lot of people. Most people don't even eat that.

A (21:02)

I was going to say, who gives a shit about making an actual recipe?

B (21:06)

To me, it's gross. I don't even know why they put it there. I mean, is there a demand for it? Does anyone go like, wait a second.

A (21:12)

It's like, honeydew is the whole thing. Like, no one really gives a fuck about it. Yeah. You know what I mean?

B (21:16)

Yeah. It's so weird.

A (21:18)

Listen, I'm with you. The day my daughter was born, October 14, 2014, and the Orioles were good that year, hadn't been in forever. And they're in the ALCS to go to the World Series. They're playing the Royals, and she's born. They take us, you know, after the delivery and everything. They take you to your room, you know, and I just put the TV on. Boom, there's Baltimore, Camden Yards. Same thing. I'm like, what? They haven't been here forever. Now they're here. They lost. But it didn't matter because I'm sitting there holding my daughter, and I'm looking at home and thinking about my dad who took me to my first Oriole game. And, like, what are the odds of all this? And I'm getting to see, you know, when they do the cutaways in between, I'm Getting to see the crabs and the B roll of the city. And I'm like, oh, this feels really nice that I got this in my room right now while I'm holding my kid and my dad's not here.

B (22:14)

Yeah, it's almost like it's like it meant something to you. So maybe it's subjective, but then also maybe it's the lining of stuff or something we don't understand. I, I, I.

A (22:25)

All I'm telling you, I also think a lot of it, it's right there. As long as you look, if you look for it, it's there. Maybe it's that it is. Maybe it's like you're enough of these coincidences where you go, all right, let me start opening my eyes and paying attention to this.

B (22:37)

Maybe it's because your heart is so open because you're having this monumental change or you're having a daughter or whatever it is, or that you can see it and the rest of the time you can't see it because we're just like, closed off.

A (22:49)

It's like, you know, you date a girl with a red Fiero gt. Yeah, nobody has a rev Fiero gt and you break up, you start seeing that everywhere. Everywhere. There was one. Now all of a sudden.

B (23:03)

It'S so weird how reality is, like a lot of it is just perspective and what's going on internally. It's very. That is very true. Yeah. So she was. So anyway, that was my first daughter and she was born during COVID so there was that worry and she ended up becoming. Being born, like, at a weight that, like, is a little nervous. She's under six. You know, she was like five and three quarters or whatever.

A (23:26)

She was a squeak, but she was on time. Or she was pretty.

B (23:29)

She was on time because that was her due date.

A (23:31)

Yeah.

B (23:31)

I mean, she wasn't baked yet. She wasn't ready to come out, but, but because of the preeclampsia, they induced my wife on her due date, my father's birthday.

A (23:38)

Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you were talking about your younger daughter.

B (23:40)

No, so my younger daughter. So then, you know, my younger daughter is two and a half years younger. Right. So she's going to be two.

A (23:46)

So.

B (23:49)

Two years ago. Right. So, and this is a little before two years ago. You know, she was small. She was like very small. So they got really worried. So when the baby's small, now I know this, you have to go in every week, you get sent to, like, a specialist and they echocardiogram and watch the baby every Single week.

A (24:12)

And what are they looking for? Organ development.

B (24:14)

They're looking for things like that. Yeah, Development.

A (24:16)

Heart.

B (24:17)

Heart, heartbeat, lung. All her numbers, everything. Heartbeats, a big one. And they, they tell you, you know, all the possible things. You know, we had a doctor who is very good, this African dude who was the head of the department there. And he's really good, but he was really. The nurse was like, he scares the shit out of a lot of parents. And a lot of times there's bad outcomes here. And the nurse deals with that, right? You know, like you watch his baby grow inside of you and then you know something, the baby dies and, you know, whatever. And parents have to make a tough choice when they say, we see this, it will be born and it'll have these defects or whatever. So we had to go through that. And so that lasted like six months, five months. It was brutal. So.

A (25:09)

Because I also hearing worst case scenario, worst case scenarios.

B (25:13)

And also she wasn't really growing, like every week. We were hoping when we went in and they were like, look, she could catch a growth spurt. Or because of your first daughter, maybe you just carry small babies. And so the nurse was really optimistic. That's another thing where you learn about faith. Like, you know, it's like there's faith and fear and you just choose one of the two. Because there's a point where we just don't know. You don't know what's going to happen. Science doesn't know. They can tell you the outcomes, they can tell you the possibility.

A (25:44)

And then there's also the possibility that you're the first one of a brand new thing. Guess what? We've never seen this before. You're like, what?

B (25:54)

And they name it after you.

A (25:56)

And you're like, I was that Yannis Papa.

B (25:59)

Which sounds like a disease called coleslaw. Yeah, it's funny possibility. It could be even that. Something they don't even know about. Never heard of.

A (26:10)

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B (28:58)

And so people who are like strictly atheist or like Cynical or it's like, have you ever really been in where you cared about something so much and you were so helpless and all that was there was faith or fear? Have you ever been there? Because once you're there, you're like, you're how you realize I'm a human, I'm helpless, but I have these massive emotions and your heart's just wide open and all you have is either faith or fear there. And so you got to choose one. You can't just. There's no, well, can I sit on the fence?

A (29:31)

I'm with you because you care too much. But for me, it's always been both. Yeah, I mean, I'll take faith all day, but I'm not going to sit here and act like I'm not scared. Well, other people, like, I'm too scared to do it. I'm like, listen, how do you know? How do you do that? I'm like, I'm terrified to do it, but I'm not going to sit here and not do it.

B (29:49)

Right?

A (29:49)

I'm going to walk fucking forward, diarrhea the whole fucking way and be terrified that I'm doing this. But we're going to go, God damn, do it if we need to fucking do it. We're not going to just sit here.

B (29:59)

Well, they're two sides of the same coin, right? It's like you can't have one with the other. And that's Right, that's life. Yeah, but you can choose to, like, spiral in the fear or you can just the other way, you can just hope, right? And just like, I don't know, some people pray or, you know, whatever it is.

A (30:17)

But those moments are the things where I, like, don't believe organized religion needs to even be involved. It's faith, it's prayer, it's whatever. But, you know, I'm not going to church on Sunday and dropping something in.

B (30:32)

The box for somebody, Right.

A (30:33)

You know what I mean? I will go downstairs in the hospital, I will. I'll light a candle for you. I promise you I'll do that. I still do that. I'll go down and like, what? Did you do that?

B (30:42)

No, I didn't do that. But I prayed, I hoped. I wish I was optimistic. I was like, it's gonna be fine. I just did it that way because the other choice is spiral and fear. And my brother is brain injured. And his brain injury, I think I talked about it on this show. His brain injury was from being born. It was when they were still using the forceps. So, you know, they Happen to a lot of kids now they don't. They use a suction, but they used to use forceps. But it was how they were damaging. You know, the brain is soft at that time and when they kid would have trouble getting out, they put the forceps in. And that's what happened to my brother. And I grew up with that. And I don't, it's. You can't sugarcoat that. It's a, just a tough way to grow up. You feel it's just tough for him. It's tough for everybody. It's not ideal. So it made me worried even I'm.

A (31:34)

Saying, you got water going. Yeah.

B (31:35)

I was like, is this. I don't want to do this again. And also it's your daughter. So there's the end, you know, the instincts of love. And I have another daughter and also the health of my wife who's carrying the baby and they're checking her numbers because of her history of preeclampsia. And then all the time, of course I got to continue to do stand up comedy and go on the road and being, you know, I did cancel a lot of gigs. My agent was great about it. But because I had to go with her every week, I wasn't going to let her go alone. I wanted to be with her, you know, for those like very, you know, unpredictably sensitive times and scary times. And it lasted a while. You know, it was like they had to watch her monitor for like five or six months every single week. And then around the seventh month or eighth month, I can't remember, she just hit a growth spurgeon. You know, there was one time she would, they took the, they did the echo and you know, the cord. Sometimes the baby will sit on the cord or whatever. So her heartbeat was off oxygen, heartbeat were off. They freaked us out on that. And you know, it was just that process of every week going in there, going like, did she grow is she did. And then she did. She hit this growth spurt and she actually ended up being born like close to 8 pounds, which is the irony because my first baby, who we had no notion of this because in Covid they weren't checking. They probably would have with her too because the baby was so small. But we didn't know because we weren't going in for those visits and they weren't checking my wife's blood pressure because of COVID But she ended up being born like big, like eight pounds bigger. Yeah, she's bigger. Even though she was the one we were worried about being small.

A (33:18)

Right.

B (33:19)

So it all worked out at the end. She hit this just growth spurt out of nowhere. Just boom. We walked in one week. It was like we were crying. I cried, my wife cried. The relief is just like, it's like, you know, it makes everything stand up on you. Just like, you know you can breathe again. Like literally you don't even realize you've been shallow breathing for 24 hours a day for months with this thing in the back of your mind, which I'm used to, which is like my mom's Alzheimer's and my fucking brother. And then my cousin got cancer and we knew the impending doom of knowing that she was going to meet her end even though she was trying to fight it. It's my first cousin I was very close with and. And she got a rare form of, you know, that's the thing. She got a rare form of what you pro. Not prostate, stomach cancer or whatever. Colon cancer. Colon cancer. Everyone get that checked. I would say. I don't know if I've said that on this show. Get that checked. The most preventable cancer, but the one that if you don't catch will kill you. So just say you have some stomach issues or whatever and go in. Even if you. 40, you should do it by 40. They've already lowered it to 45. I would say just say you're having some stomach aches so the insurance will cover it or whatever and go get it. At 40.

A (34:35)

We just had a comedian named Mark Shimkitz. He came on the Patreon to share his story. He's been given a terminal diagnosis at 27.

B (34:43)

Yeah, I mean it's brutal. It's the American diet. I've had like six polyps. Remove a few. Have you pre cancers? Yeah.

A (34:48)

Go watch the Patreon. We released the episode free for everybody. He comes on to talk about. He literally has, you know, days.

B (34:56)

Oh my God.

A (34:57)

And he came on to share his story and talk about it and everything. And I told him I'm going to tell everybody that's watching or listening to. I just took. It's called a gallery test. It's G A L L E R I. And unfortunately insurance doesn't cover it. It's expensive. It's about 8, $900. But what it does, it's a genetic pre screening for cancers. Like 52 different kinds of cancers. And if they find something in you, it does not mean you have cancer but it some detection of something in you where they can go and get ahead of it now. So I just did it. It was simple. I went. They send you the kit. You set up a blood draw somewhere else that they work with. I go in, they do it, send it back. Thank God. No. No cancers.

B (35:47)

I think we're heading into a time right now, which is going to be great because there's so much of that preventative. There's those preventative scans. You got the calcium scan. Now there's another scan.

A (35:57)

Can we talk about that for a second? Because I haven't told this. My brother might get mad at me for this. I'll edit it if I'll ask him, but. So I've been going and getting calcium scans for years now. My. My family is Italian, both sides, and knock on wood, we don't have cancers, but we got blood and cholesterol like a son of a.

B (36:15)

It's mozzarella's fault, really.

A (36:17)

So I've got the genetics, blood, disease, factor five light. And on top of cholesterol and everything. My brothers, however, did not get it. My dad gave it to me, only my mom doesn't have it.

B (36:28)

They don't have that.

A (36:29)

Right. So my younger brother's talking to me, and he's like, yeah, I've just been feeling tired and stuff, and my doctors aren't great. I just went to see this lady, and she told me to go get a calcium scan on my heart. I'm like, you haven't done that yet? He's like, no. I was like, no one's ever told you to do that or anything. He's like, no. And he goes, this poor dude. He's got two fully clogged arteries.

B (36:54)

You saved his life.

A (36:55)

Well, no, I didn't do it.

B (36:56)

They did it. Yeah, but. I mean.

A (36:57)

But I'm sitting here telling. Talking to him about. I'm like, I've been going and getting those. And he said, I know. I had nothing to do with this. He came to me with this. He had already had the info to two fully blocked arteries. Yeah. And the other one. 70% block clocked.

B (37:12)

Oh, my God.

A (37:12)

And they're like, you need to go have heart surgery now.

B (37:16)

Right.

A (37:17)

So they set them up for a week, and they say, we're gonna have you do a treadmill test and all this stuff. But he crushes the treadmill test. They said, you know what? Maybe we misdiagnosed it. Like, if your heart's that clogged, you shouldn't be doing the treadmill this way.

B (37:29)

That was like, his VO2 max. They text.

A (37:31)

Yeah. So then he goes back in on a Friday, and they Say if you have to have. Worst case scenario is old school, cracky, open open heart surgery, which we just had a guest on the Patreon come on and talk about. And if not, technology is wild. We can put a stent in your arm right now while you're sitting here in this chair and you'll be good to go. I had a friend of mine get a procedure where his widowmaker was blocked. And he's like, I didn't even go to a hot. I just sat in a room and they did it. And I was like, what? He's like, I was back to work in two days.

B (38:00)

Yeah, it's crazy how advanced they are at cardiovascular stuff.

A (38:03)

So my brother goes in and they're. Unfortunately, you have to have old school open heart surgery. So he just had it. Just last week, he just had old school open heart surgery. They cracked them open. They took arteries from his neck, made the bypass, triple bypass, and his chest, took the veins from his legs. And I'm like, dude, And I'm going to see him at the end of June and I go, I call him and I go, except for like being a little short of breath, you sound like yourself. He's like, yeah, they tell me I look good, my color's good. This had open heart surgery, triple bypass, and was out. They sent him home in two days.

B (38:43)

Wow, two days. Yeah.

A (38:45)

So now he's just home doing his PT and all this stuff. And I was like, you, you need to be. He's like, I got the best cardiologist now. I'm good to go from here on out.

B (38:55)

And you got to do some lifestyle changes.

A (38:56)

Lifestyle changes, yeah. And the doctor told him too, like, listen, with this new heart, you'll be good for 50 years.

B (39:03)

Amazing.

A (39:04)

Take care of your diet and walk. Listen to this. Five times a day, a week, 45 minutes a day.

B (39:11)

Yeah.

A (39:11)

You don't need to be. That's what he said. You don't need to be marathon running or any of that. Just walk your. Move your machine.

B (39:17)

Yeah.

A (39:17)

Five times a week, 45 minutes a day.

B (39:20)

Does he live in the country?

A (39:21)

He lives in the suburbs. He's walking out there.

B (39:23)

Yeah, you got to just walk. You gotta walk. That's the thing I learned about moving out of the city is you gotta. I never knew I had had to plan.

A (39:31)

You're not walking to go somewhere anymore and you're getting that walk in. Cuz I'm going to the club or the restaurant, whatever. You got to go. I guess I'm going to go walk the c. Yeah, you got to plan.

B (39:42)

That walk around circle.

A (39:44)

Yeah. You got. When you get older, you got to do that. Yeah.

B (39:49)

Yeah. I never knew I was going to be. Have to schedule recreation like a prison, mate. Yeah. It's like, all right, it's time to walk. And then you just walk in a circle.

A (39:57)

I said, get the kids out there. Let them ride their bikes next to you, and. And just walk. Put your AirPods in. Walk for 45 minutes. Do whatever you got to do, man. But he had that, like, it was like, Tuesday last week or something like that. And he's already home and everything. And God bless.

B (40:13)

They're so advanced now with the crazy with the. With the heart surgeries. Yeah, we help out. I mean, podcasts help. I mean, look, everyone should be walking. Throw your earbuds in. Listening to Honeydew, y'.

A (40:23)

All. Well, not only that, man, I. After all this clotting I went through and stuff, finding out I have this blood disease called Factor 5. It's genetic, whatever.

B (40:33)

Last time I saw you, I was like, how you doing? You're like, bro, you never expect that. You always just expect, like, doing all right, you know? You know, bro, I'm dead and came back to life. I was like, oh, good to see you.

A (40:43)

Damn near, bro.

B (40:45)

Yeah, well, yeah, I almost. I was checked out.

A (40:47)

Good to see you. Yeah.

B (40:51)

So that's good.

A (40:52)

But I find out I have it, and I just. You know, we're naturally talking about this stuff, like you say on our pods and stuff, and a friend of mine from high school, her name's Kathy, I don't know if she'll be comfortable with me giving her last name, but she starts telling me, like, I want to say her son was 17 at the time, and he started clotting and all this stuff, and I said, go have him checked for factor five. Do you know this kid had it?

B (41:15)

Wow.

A (41:15)

This kid had it. So now it's genetic. So now everybody's got to go get.

B (41:20)

Why wouldn't the doctor. He's having all this clotting. Why wouldn't the doctor check for that? I mean, it's fucking crazy.

A (41:25)

My doctor is so great. Doctors like, listen, you guys, in podcast, he's like, you've changed the medical game, he said, with Huberman Labs and the Rogans and all these things you guys are out there talking about right now. He's like, we're listening. The medical world's listening, and it is changing things for the better. So, you know, she heard it from a podcast from a guy who happened to start a Podcast she went to high school with also. And the kid has it. So then she goes and gets tested. She's got it.

B (41:52)

Wow.

A (41:53)

She's already had two twins. Her parents go get tested. They got. Wow. All from this clown who started a podcast about bullshit. I don't mean that.

B (42:03)

I mean, low.

A (42:04)

Low light. Yeah. Is what I mean. Yeah.

B (42:08)

Highlight the low lights.

A (42:09)

And it turns out it's helping people.

B (42:11)

So.

A (42:11)

Yeah. So. And so it's such a serious thing that my brother, when he was getting his surgery, he's like, look, I have to tell. They're like, do you have any genetic blood disease? He goes, I don't, but my brother does. They're like, what does he have? And they're like. Like, factor five light. And they're like, listen, that's serious. Are you sure you don't have it? He's like, they told me I don't. They're like, are you sure?

B (42:29)

Right.

A (42:30)

It's a big deal. And he's like, test, I didn't have. And they said, we're gonna put you on blood thinners anyway. I said, todd, they didn't even put me on blood thinners. And I told him I have.

B (42:39)

You know what I mean?

A (42:40)

Like, that's wild to me.

B (42:42)

Yeah.

A (42:42)

He's like, no, I got good doctors. Like, you have really good doctors.

B (42:46)

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's amazing. That's what. You know, they say, like, in 10 years, AI is gonna. You know, everyone's scared of AI, but you're like, hey, I won't miss this.

A (42:55)

Well, that's the other thing. They'll be on it if they're smarter than us. Instead of a medication, if you could put a microchip into someone to kill leukemia cells or whatever, I'm all for that, for myself. I mean, if you don't want to do it, don't do it. But I'd rather do that than take pills.

B (43:11)

Yeah.

A (43:12)

You know what I mean? Get addicted to Percocets or whatever. If you could put a chip in your body that takes away the pain, I'd rather look.

B (43:20)

Look at how they do eye surgery now. When you corrective eye surgery, it's a. It's a machine. It's a.

A (43:25)

Would you do that, Laser.

B (43:26)

I'd rather that than the person. I don't want some. You know, I don't want some dude who's, you know, getting over a drinking problem, who didn't get a good night's sleep, who's. Who's there with his hand, not arguing with his wife. Give me the Mathematically trained, you know, laser that has no emotions. Yeah, I'll take that. I mean, I'm glad we're humans and we have emotions, but if I need surger.

A (43:50)

Yeah.

B (43:50)

It's all about precision.

A (43:52)

Yeah, yeah.

B (43:52)

Give me the machine, dude. Give me the machine.

A (43:55)

And they're saying like doctors now are able to sit like in Japan and, and work the machine over here.

B (44:02)

Yeah.

A (44:03)

You know, you're laying there like we're gonna take your pancreas out. You're like, what?

B (44:07)

Yeah. And they use the machine instead of.

A (44:08)

That guy coughing in there and, and he's a nurse and they're having a bad time. Just give me the clamp. Give me.

B (44:14)

Exactly. Yeah, yeah. You know, you just, you don't know what they're going through. So it's like, I mean, dude, I mean, I, I live in New York. We don't have these self driving cars yet.

A (44:23)

But they're all over here, all everywhere.

B (44:25)

It's crazy when you look and there's nobody driving.

A (44:27)

It freaked me out the first time. I didn't even know they dropped them in the city and stuff. They're everywhere.

B (44:32)

Crazy.

A (44:32)

My daughter's been in one. I haven't been in one yet.

B (44:35)

She went with her mom or not really.

A (44:37)

I've seen some, I've seen some, I've seen other things too. They're called Waymos. And I guess ones I'm seeing, yeah, the white ones. There's a hub in San Francisco, I guess and they showed a video one night where they self park. But because they're all pulling in next to each other and stuff, they just start beeping and honking and stuff. And so the, all the people live in the area, like there's hundreds of them down there. The one thing I have, I've learned, I've. I tested it, I tested it out. I was like, let's see if this is not a person driving and it's a computer. Let's see. You know what I do a lot, I cut them off, off to see what happens. If one's coming, I'll pull out real quick and see and it'll slow down. It ain't hit you. Yeah, Another guy be mad, he'll hit pass up, try to get, I get in traffic too and I look over and I get over and they back off. Or if I'm pulling out and it's one of them, I pull right in front of them. They'll stop, dude, stop.

B (45:28)

I, I have a Tesla. And so that last software update that they did, I don't know if you've heard about it. The self driving is crazy.

A (45:35)

I thought they were self driving all the time.

B (45:37)

They were. But it was, it was like shaking, sticky, right? It was like it would turn off. It would, it would, it wouldn't stop at stop signs. It wouldn't read. It was like a little. Yeah, it was a little nerve wracking a few times. It would jolt and you'd be like, you know, go in the tunnel and misread something. They have like it's leapt like they, it took a leap forward there now. I mean, dude, I, I don't drive it.

A (46:02)

Come on. You don't put your hands on the wheel.

B (46:04)

You have to keep your hand on the wheel and they have AI that watches your attention, which means you got to be looking forward. But also you can just put your phone on the wheel and look forward and just watch the phone. I watched Denver, the Denver game six.

A (46:18)

You're just holding the wheel. Holding the wheel.

B (46:21)

I was holding the phone on the wheel. You have to put pressure on the wheel so the car feels like you're on the highway.

A (46:26)

So you can't just read a book?

B (46:27)

No, you cannot. Okay, but I trust it so much if I'm on the highway, like on the streets in New York. But you can drive it on the streets in New York too. And it stops, it makes turns, it stop signs. I mean, and then it goes when it's clear. I mean but on the highway it's just, it just knows, dude, it drives you to your house.

A (46:47)

That's great.

B (46:48)

Can you crazy.

A (46:49)

Can you be at a restaurant and have the Tesla come get you from a parking garage?

B (46:55)

Not from a parking garage, but from like an out on the street outdoor parking lot.

A (46:59)

Okay. So as long as it's not covered. Yeah, it'll come get, come get.

B (47:03)

I swear to God. And it'll sit self park. Sometimes I'll just do it to let it. Even though I can get into the spot because it's just so cool to watch the wheel.

A (47:10)

My car self parks and I haven't done it yet. I gotta do, I gotta take it to a parking lot and do it.

B (47:14)

Yeah, I mean I grew up in New York so I know how to parallel park. Yeah, but sometimes you just like. Yeah, I could see how we're starting to get lazy. It's like the same thing as when.

A (47:22)

I just did a bit about it where I talk about how like AI is taken over and how I'm just softer now. And I, when I used to reverse, I used to have to Push myself up, grab the seat here, leave back. You know, like we're pulling a guy up out of the rice, B. Fly it up. You know what I'm saying?

B (47:39)

Like I do what I do.

A (47:41)

No power steering. You're sweating your ass off. Yeah, like you park finally fair. Anything. You need a second?

B (47:47)

God damn, dude. I, I grew up in the era where when you pulled in, you like, it was guaranteed you were going to hit the other bumper. Like everywhere things went, bang, bang. You just, you know they were selling those like fake like the rubber bumpers to put on. Just because it was like you're gonna get hit. If you're parallel parking now, the car goes like.

A (48:05)

Yeah, yeah, no, yeah. I'll tell you, one time I was really, when it, when it first happened to me, I was proud. I was like, oh, here we go. When it's the one way street and you got a parallel park on the left side. Yeah. Not the right one. You gotta go over here. You're like, oh yeah, yeah. I got a different one. Yeah, yeah.

B (48:23)

You have to. It's harder that way. Yeah, yeah.

A (48:26)

The dude, when I drive a Volkswagen Atlas, I got an suv, a mid size one, and he showed me this trick for city drive. And I had never thought of it. It's so you can set the distance in your car. It'll give you an alert so you can get closer to bumpers or farther away so you can set it for a cruise control where it's just safe enough the distance in front of you, but not to let a car in. And he goes, my buddy put it on. We went city traffic on purpose to Dodger Stadium. And nobody cut you off or anything.

B (49:05)

Because it keeps crazy.

A (49:07)

It keeps right there. Yeah. It keeps right in the spot where no one can come and get you.

B (49:11)

Imagine what it's going to be in five years, 10 years. I mean, 10 years is really. Seems like everything is going to change. It's going to be, there's going to be a lot of it's going to be good. I think a lot of it. I think we're focused on the bad because of the negativity bias. It's just how our brain is. But I think a lot of it's going to be good too. I really do. I mean, we've created something smarter than ourselves that's going to help us understand ourselves.

A (49:34)

Well, you know how much we know. I know you're right because we're doing it all wrong. I don't want AI to do my creative work. I want to write my Script.

B (49:42)

Well, I'll never take over that.

A (49:43)

Do my laundry.

B (49:44)

Right.

A (49:45)

Do my dishes. Do the shit I don't want to do. Fold my clothes. Yeah. You know, I don't want to sit down and do laundry every fucking week and fold clothes and do my dishes. Do that. I. Yeah.

B (49:58)

And we're just going to have to meditate a lot. We're going to have a lot of time to, like, be spiritual, sit there. Because we're going to have time. So it's like we're going to have to learn to live in the moment. We're all going to have to take up more hobbies. We're all going to have to learn jiu Jitsu or whatever it is. We're going to have to box. We're all going to have to learn chess. We're all going to read. We're going to have to figure out ways when it gets so intense where AI is doing so much. We're going to get. I think we may get more social again. It may come back again where we're like, let's do an activity together. Let's. Because we have to.

A (50:28)

The robots are doing everything else.

B (50:30)

Yeah. We got to do stuff. Let's, you know, let's have an adult.

A (50:33)

We are in 2025. We're in a world where you can. Can have a car with no driver pick you up.

B (50:42)

It's crazy.

A (50:44)

You can have. Do you guys have the little. There's no way in New York. Maybe you do the Cocos little. You know, the delivery carts.

B (50:52)

No, they are.

A (50:53)

I feel like New York are kicking them into the street and everything. Yeah.

B (50:56)

I love those videos where they're just kicking them over. Yeah.

A (50:59)

We don't have those yet, but you can have a robot deliver you food. You can have a car with no driver take you wherever you want. Like that shit's. We're here, we're there, now we're here.

B (51:10)

It's just the beginning. It's gonna get nuts. And then when we fuse with AI in some way with these chips or, you know, it's gonna. Who knows? But it's not all gonna be bad. I mean, it's not.

A (51:23)

I agree. I don't think it's all gonna be bad.

B (51:25)

It's not gonna be bad.

A (51:26)

But it doesn't matter what good is. Someone always makes bad of it anyway. There's gonna be a cure for cancer one day, and someone's gonna do something horrible and shitty with it.

B (51:35)

But here's the thing that I'm interested in, right? Because there's People now talking to Chad GBT like it's a therapist. Right. Because Chat CBT understands these patterns and mathematical probabilities and is just smarter in certain ways. What when. What happens when it gets to that level where you can't. Most of the things that people do that are bad or unconscious from your childhood. Like, you know, the more you learn about the brain and everything is all this trauma and these projection and oh, you're angry. What's under anger? Fear. And what were you fearful of? And where was the first time? And oh, I didn't get a hug or oh, I got rejected and so I'm now taking them. What happens when AI you can't. Makes you conscious of all that shit. You know what. What happens. What happens when everyone else becomes conscious of why that person's doing that? You know, so the person can't rationalize it anymore. And so what happens. What happens if we get to a point where we're like telepathically communicating or something like that? We can't hide shit from each other anymore.

A (52:40)

They're saying that I just saw this study yesterday about kids with autism are. They're saying they have a level of telepathy and things like that.

B (52:49)

Well, I think, I mean I have a joke, but it's. I'll say it on here. It's like, yeah, AI is just us evolving to be in the AI era. What if it's a natural selection? We're all going like, oh, we're worried about these. Because we're like, like what if the autistic kids are going. We're worried about you. You guys are going away.

A (53:08)

Yeah.

B (53:08)

Cuz my brain's a computer.

A (53:10)

It's already there. Let me add this up.

B (53:13)

Count toothpicks like Google. You guys trying to. You guys try to cure autism. We're trying to get rid of you.

A (53:23)

Yeah.

B (53:24)

Yeah.

A (53:24)

For real.

B (53:25)

You guys are from a different era. You got caveman brains.

A (53:28)

Yeah.

B (53:29)

But you know, that's interesting because there's.

A (53:30)

Going to be an era of people who no longer die at some point. Point like we will be part of the Dyers. Yeah. Like they will be like, yeah, my grandfather was sick.

B (53:39)

My assist. My 600 year old dad.

A (53:41)

Yeah, there'll be some ass. There's gonna be some. When you don't die anymore that will be.

B (53:46)

Yeah. I mean it's gonna.

A (53:48)

Like Dracula.

B (53:49)

Yeah, like Dracula. Like Dracula. The guy who loves Blood Cold slow. We had a moment on history hyenas recently where I. We were talking about Elizabeth bathroom. Who was this Empress. She was an Empress who, like, killed a lot of people, so they say she's like the worst serial killer in history. And that's when I realized I was saying Dracula. Chris pointed out, he was like, did you just say Dracula? Because I was.

A (54:15)

And I was like, you never heard it come out here?

B (54:17)

I always thought it was Dracula.

A (54:18)

Oh, you actually thought.

B (54:19)

Yeah. I didn't know it was Dracula.

A (54:21)

Did you spell it with an R?

B (54:22)

I never had to spell it, but.

A (54:25)

If I did, what about Count Dracula?

B (54:28)

Probably solid. It's one of those things that maybe when I started having to spell it in the digital age, it just autocorrect, like.

A (54:34)

Yeah, you're right.

B (54:35)

I still don't know how to spell definitely. I just let autocorrect do it.

A (54:39)

I got definitely.

B (54:39)

Which is maybe the downside of AI is just we'll become so lazy and complaint. We won't know how to do anything, you know? But the more they understand about the brain, like, bad people won't be able to rationalize their bad anymore or trick us anymore, because we'll know what. Why they're doing it.

A (54:54)

You know, this year, Charles Manson did this. Because of this. It'll all be laid right out.

B (54:59)

Somebody's going, oh, I'm doing this. You're going, no, you're doing that because you hate yourself.

A (55:04)

But now you think about this, too. I think about all the time. You've had two kids. You've seen the advancements in the medical world with just keeping babies alive early, checking it in your. Your wife's womb and stuff is wild. I saw a video. Not a video. Excuse me. It was a picture. It might have been on, like, Time magazine, and it was a surgery being done on the infant in the womb. Womb. They were correcting something on the baby in the womb before. I mean, small, you know, a little tiny hand in there and stuff. It was tiny, but I think all the time, like, how in the. Did people in the wagon wheel days ever even make it? How did anybody ever have a baby back then that made it?

B (55:48)

Yeah, they had different worries back then.

A (55:50)

Then you think about how many of them actually didn't make it. Yeah, you know.

B (55:54)

Yeah, I'm a dog lover. And when you think about the unfortunate reality that, like, the dog has six puppies because it evolved to have that many puppies because four of them would die. Same thing with humans. You look back until, like, you know, 100 years ago was like, you. You learn about some dude in history, you're like, yeah, he had four kids. Well, four kids that lived. You're like, he had 14. Yeah. But they all died.

A (56:20)

Yeah, My grandmom told me. I think they're. I want to say the total number of siblings might have been about 15, but I think two or three did diet at birth or right after birth. Birth, yeah. And that's, you know, still in the 1900s.

B (56:33)

Yeah. I mean, it was common. And the. And the mother would often die. Yeah, mother had a chair. And it wasn't. It wasn't like, low probability. Like, a woman got pregnant. You were like, yeah, yeah. Yes. Women, dude. Thank God for technology because they had it tough before. Like, tough. Just giving birth, that was one thing. Watching birth twice, you're like, like, yeah.

A (56:59)

What was different the second time?

B (57:01)

I mean, they were both those moments.

A (57:03)

I was there from.

B (57:04)

I watched you watch.

A (57:06)

I watched. I thought I was gonna be. I didn't want to watch.

B (57:08)

I watched originally.

A (57:09)

I didn't want to originally.

B (57:10)

Me too.

A (57:10)

And then the nurse said, or the doctor said, get over here and hold a leg. And I was like, what? You know, I've made a joke. Like, it doesn't. It only. We only got our package only comes with one leg holder. You know what I mean? Like, should there be one person for each leg? We're paying for this. And I'm over there holding it and then I'm walking, watching, and I see my daughter being born. And I guess, you know, I don't know, maybe when you watch it on tv, it's. It's gross or whatever. It's not yours. It's not anything. It's also not even real. But when you're there, it didn't bother me at all.

B (57:39)

Well, you know what? It's like. It's like I've learned that too. Because I was scared because of all the blood and all that. I was like, I don't want to see all this gooky stuff and looking her vagina get ripped open. But then you realize you're right. You realize it's like a fart. You like your own and you hate other people's. It doesn't bother you because it's your own. It's your baby, your wife. And yeah, I. I was fascinated. Nothing bothered me. None of the blood, nothing.

A (58:04)

Did you watch the placenta come out?

B (58:06)

I watched everything. I stared at the placenta. I watched everything and none of it bothered me. I couldn't believe it.

A (58:11)

Only thing I was surprised by. So my daughter was born. God, now I forget what it is, I guess.

B (58:18)

Oh, wow, you forgot her birthday.

A (58:19)

She puts in the. In the womb. What's it called again? I can't remember now.

B (58:24)

Taking his in the womb.

A (58:25)

She took a In the womb?

B (58:26)

Yeah.

A (58:26)

And so the runs in problem, because when she comes out, if she inhales her first breath in those fresh lungs with feces, it's an issue. So they're telling us, as soon as we get her out, dad, you got to cut the cord, give her to us. And we're going to suction her lungs right away. And we did. It was fine. But it's like, boom. So everything's moving so fast, you don't even get to hold her for a second. You know, you're passing over, you're like, oh, my God. And looking down here, and I'm telling you, telling you, I don't know what the it was. I know it was like amniotic fluid or whatever, but it looked like there was a dwarf inside her vagina.

B (59:04)

Oh, yeah.

A (59:05)

And threw a bucket of water, dude. They hit the doctor's chest.

B (59:10)

It was so.

A (59:11)

I'm not talking about a little. It was like a bucket. It hit her and she went, oh, my God. Even the doctor was like, oh, my God.

B (59:18)

It's like a Levy, bro.

A (59:19)

I was like, what the the. And that lady is leaving this room to go to that one over there to do the same damn thing. And then that one and that one, like four of them that day. And I'm like, good God.

B (59:29)

Isn't it funny, too, how the nurses do everything and the doctor just comes and catches it?

A (59:33)

Like the dentist.

B (59:33)

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

A (59:35)

This lady's been here for an hour doing everything. You come in, it looks good. What the do I need you for?

B (59:40)

It was like a spiritual. It was like a spiritual. It just pulls you into the moment, right? Like when your wife is. Wife's having a baby. Nobody has add. Like, you can't. I didn't have any thought. Like, I wasn't going, like, well, thinking about jokes, podcasts, or schedules. You're just in the moment watching this crazy thing, and you don't even have to try it.

A (60:02)

Just.

B (60:02)

It's such a crazy thing. You're watching. You're just pulled into it. And there's this feminine energy there, you know, because they give life. They're like mortal God. So, like, there's nurses in there, and the women are talking to each other in a way, and they. They're easing the wife and they were making her move like they were moving her stomach and easing the baby out, and they were like moving her body and telling her how to body, and you're Just this dude. And you realize like, they're like mortal gods. Like women are like, we're helpless. We're like in that situation, we're just like a different thing. It's a different thing. And they're like, wow, what? This thing's coming out of her body. She nurtured it. And then you watch it come out. And it has the instinct looking for a tit and it just wants her mom for the. It's this whole thing where you realize, like, look, gender is a spectrum, especially in the modern world with technology and that's all that stuff's fine, identity stuff, whatever. But there's some things that are just anatomically anchored that are just make us different. For the first year I've had two kids now. For the first year of both those daughters, I didn't matter that first year. I'm just a dude. And you know that because I'm a guy. I'll tell you funny, I. What I do is I grow my beard and then I shave it. I don't keep shaping up the beard. I grow it and then I shave it off. And so I'm always in some variation of growing the beard. So, you know, when my. I have my kids, I have a beard a lot. Once my baby got a little conscious, right. And for that first part where she's just a shit eat sleep machine, it's all mommy, like she needs mommy. Daddy could not be there. It doesn't matter. There's no therapy that's going to really be required lady later because of it. It's that daughter doesn't give a who you are, doesn't even know who you are, doesn't want you. But then when it's my baby got a little more conscious. This is how little they care about the father. At the beginning, I shaved my beard and my baby did this to me.

A (61:59)

Me.

B (61:59)

Who the is that didn't even know I was a different person. Yeah, you with the mother. It's like the smells and all that, you know, like if my wife got a haircut, it would still know who my wife was. My baby gave me the funniest look. It went you. And it was an un, un unmistakable look. Like, get this dude away.

A (62:20)

Who the. Where's my titty?

B (62:21)

You know, who, who I was. Yeah. And so you don't really bond bond with your daughters especially. I don't know if it's sons or different. I only have two daughters. I can speak from experience. The bond starts to come like in the ones, like somewhere in the ones where the the baby even starts to acknowledge you. Even when I would try to hug it or whatever, it would be like. Yeah, it would be like always looking for mommy.

A (62:43)

Always looking. Yeah. All right.

B (62:45)

Yeah.

A (62:47)

So how is she now? How's her health? She's been perfect.

B (62:50)

She turned. Everything turned. Turned out perfect. It was just those months of uncertainty, which is the worst thing in a lot of ways. It's worse. I don't want to say it's not worse than hearing the bad news, but that uncertainty plays a trick on your mind.

A (63:05)

Tripping every day, future tripping all day long.

B (63:08)

You know, is my. Is this gonna. What you start. Have to battle those. The anxiety of that creates those worst case scenarios in your brain. Brain. And it was just brutal. Like, just. Just brutal. It was. Again, our job is great, you know, but that's why I love a podcast like this where we can vent these things because, yeah, we're people too, and our job is to go cheer other people up. And then it's like, well, who's. Who's whole. It's like the Superman thing. I'm holding you, I'm giving you guys joy. But who's holding me?

A (63:43)

Me.

B (63:43)

Because, you know, we're on stage and you see that, but you don't see the pain that's going on in the life, which is, you know, I spoke about on this podcast. Like when my mom. I'm on stage and my mom with dementia is just calling my phone, leaving the same message. And it's just. I feel it vibrating and I know what it is. And my brain is in two places at once. And I got this face on and I'm making fun of, you know, I'm making people laugh here. But like, this horrible thing is happening at the same time.

A (64:10)

Time.

B (64:10)

And so it's good to. And the only way you get over the lowlights is you highlight them by talking about them, inventing them and bonding.

A (64:18)

They're not going anywhere.

B (64:19)

They're going anywhere. They're part of your story.

A (64:21)

They're part of your story. They're necessary. They humble you. I don't know, they keep. It keeps you grounded a little bit too.

B (64:26)

It's two sides. That's. Reality is for everything, there's an opposite and they go together. I mean, you can't know joy if you don't know pain. And. But you got to be able to not be scared of the pain. Process the pain and, and use it, you know, alchemize it into something great. That's where it comes from. That's where all the best things come from.

A (64:43)

I agree. Yeah. Thank you for doing this.

B (64:45)

Thank you for having me again.

A (64:46)

Yeah, of course. I'm sure I'll have more tragedy forever.

B (64:49)

Yeah, I'm sure. I'll just wait. I'll wait for some. In fact, I'll give you a call when the next worst thing happens.

A (64:56)

Promote your special everything one more time.

B (64:58)

Go. Go watch. Go to YouTube right now. Just put in property owner Giannis Pappas. Watch the special. Listen to the podcast history Hyenas with me and Chris DiStefano. We're back together. The fans are loving it. We're having a good time. It's good to be doing that again. And. And my podcast, Giannis Pappas Hour. And check my road dates. I got a couple this summer. Go. Go to giannispapascomedy.com to see me live on the road.

A (65:25)

All right, brother.

B (65:26)

Thank you.

A (65:26)

Thank you, man. As always, Ryan Sickler on all your social media. We'll talk to y' all next week. Sam.