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- [00:00]
A
At Energy Trust of Oregon, we understand that energy isn't just what happens when you flip a switch.
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It's what happens afterwards.
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A
It's a home that can provide both shelter and peace of mind. It's a business that can run more efficiently and keep their dream alive. And it's communities that can thrive today and flourish tomorrow. That's energy. And that's why we partner with local utility companies to help you save energy and lower costs. For cash incentives and resources that can help power your life, visit energy trust.org all right, guys.
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My new special, Live and Alive is streaming now on my YouTube. It dropped Friday, October 24th. Go watch it. Go watch it. I'm proud of it. This is all self produced. It's free, right? From me to you. Share it with everybody you know, tag me in it, whatever. Go watch this special. Let's get this thing going. I want this one. Over a million views this time. You know what YouTube did last time? Let's. Let's show them what's up. And then they come in and they say, Mr. Sickler, you are lucky to be alive. You have massive pulmonary embolisms. They travel through your heart. Your heart is swollen twice its size. And we're going to be honest with you, the next 48 hours are touch and go. You're probably going to want to make some calls. And I was like, my phone's dead. I was planning on three hours. You know what I'm saying? I came in with it on 66%. I didn't even bother gassing it up. And I knew things were about to get wild when I heard one of the surgeons say, well, Mr. Sickler, you and your phone are about to have a lot in common.
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I said, oh, my God.
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B
What kind of bedside manner is that for somebody with blue Shield silver?
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A
You talking to me like I got.
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B
The bronze package right now and I'm not really feeling it. So back your Kaiser Permanente attitude up.
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A
And recognize my second tier status.
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B
The Honeydew with Ryan Sickler. Welcome back to the Honeydew, y'. All. We're over here doing it in the night Pan Studios. I'm Ryan Sickler starting this one off like I start them all off by saying, thank you. Thank you for watching this show. Thank you for supporting anything I do. Go watch my new special. It's up on my YouTube now. I'm really proud of this thing, man. It's wildly different than my last special. This is all about what happened to me and aftermath of it. And I appreciate all the support already. Thank you guys, you're the best. If you love this show and you got to have more, then you got to check out the Patreon. It has been $5 a month since day one, and it's not changing. You get audio and video. You get the honey. Do a day early ad free at no additional cost. And it is this show with you all. And you all have the craziest stories I promise you that you will ever hear. If you're unsure, do the free sample. But you can also go to the free episodes right here on the Honeydew and watch the best of clips that I do with Josh Wolf and get a sense of exactly what's going on over there for a cup of coffee a month. All right, you know what we do here? We highlight the low lights, and I always say, these are the stories behind the storytellers. And I'm very excited to have this guest back on the Honeydew. Ladies and gentlemen, Sal Volcano. Welcome back to the Honeydew.
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We did. I miss you. I miss you. How are things?
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Great.
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A
You. You have returned guests, obviously, right?
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B
Yeah, yeah.
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A
How many. What's. What guest has been on the most? How many times?
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B
That's a great question. I would. I would put Josh Wolf up there because we do some best of episodes on Patreon, but minus that Joey Diaz.
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A
Okay.
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B
Thank you, Kirsten. Joey. We used to do Joey's whole life story, and then once he moved to New York or back to Jersey, I mean, we stopped, but we were chronicling his life in chapters, and it's one of the most riveting.
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He's got life on him.
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B
Also, as a podcaster, it's really nice to not say a word.
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You know what I mean?
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I'm just listening. I'm going, are you serious? Like. Like that, you know? But before we get into your stories today, please promote everything you'd like right there.
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A
Yes, I am currently on tour. I'll be touring all the way through 2026. All my dates are on my website. Sal volcano, comedy.com always adding dates. Right now, there's probably, you know, 30 or so put up. There'll be another 50 put up, so check back if you don't see your city. Big dates coming up. November 14th, Chicago theater. December 27th, New York City to Beacon. April 12th, the Ryman in Nashville. I'm doing Atlantic City, February 28th, and so on and so.
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B
Damn, dude, good for you.
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A
Yeah. Appleton on November 15th 15th. So, yeah, so just check it out. I got a new talk show coming out called Minouche it's like a talk show pod. You can get that. That'll be out like late fall, early winter. I'm doing that in 10 episode season, so I'm shooting out the first 10 now. The concept is like really, really big guests, really really small talk, and it basically goes in and out of like sketch comedy and interview and stuff. So that's, that's good. And then what else? What I'd say, well, my specials now streaming on HBO Max, it's called terrified. And season 12 of Jokers is on TBS. Yes, sir.
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B
Good for you. I mean, are you. Do you ever step back and think about that number? You know, if you can get a season two on any shit, if you can get a season one these days, go for you. Season two is.
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A
Well, yeah, I think about it all the time. It's wild.
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B
It's wild.
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A
Yeah.
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B
I mean, in the statistics of television history, I'm sure. I know Simpsons, obviously Married With Children, I think. What. Where are you guys in season? I mean, I don't know.
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A
I know that south park has a ton and I, I think Sunny has a good amount, but we have over 300 episodes and we started in 2011, so it's been on the air 14 years.
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B
I mean, people have literally grown up with you.
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A
That's the most surprising thing that like happens. Like right now I'm getting a lot of younger kids in my shows. Late teens, early 20s. These are kids that come up to me and say they found me one of two ways. I'm like, I have like eight memes on TikTok or whatever, which I never intended, but they're discovering that way or been watching you since some four or five, six with my parents. And now they have. It's on their first comedy show. They're going to. They have some, you know, some money. They can go out and be independent. And I'm getting these kids that like started watch me at five years old. Come now.
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B
I mean, I can't compare to your success at all. But I still have kids. Come up with the Crab Feast podcast. I've been listening to you since I'm 9 years old. And I'm like, oh, isn't it the most, bro? When you're 40 and I'm in my 70s, hook me up, bro, you know, back and give me some love then, you know what I mean? You know, let me do you a little solid. Like I go up for free on you. But also, you guys are the show that now like. And I know this from all my hospital a couple Years ago. You're on in the er. You're just, you're just ambiance.
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We got hospital, we got hospitals and prisons on lock. I swear to you, every time I'm.
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B
In the hospital, every time I'm looking up there, there he is. I'm laying there, clots in my lungs, dying. I'm like.
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A
Dude, I swear to God, so many people tell yo, we watch you all the time in prison. It's always on in prison. And then I also get like everyone telling me I was in the hospital for like I was laid up in the hospital three weeks. We hear it all the time. I met Michael J. Fox and he told me that he what worsted he had in the hospital. That's what he what he watched. And I was like, oh my God, this is. You talk about the way back. I mean, he's the God, you know, I talk about.
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B
Anytime anybody asks me about celebrity who's, you know, the biggest, I say, look, I've had, I've met a lot of people that you would be. I absolutely know who that is. And they know who you are. I said, but the first time I hung out with Sal was years ago at the Vegas Comedy Festival.
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A
And I remember that one.
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This guy couldn't walk five feet. Yeah, everyone knew s like, God damn, dude.
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A
Yeah, well, that's Vegas is like that, that touristy area. Vegas is a hot spot for sure. Everyone coming in from all over the country. But yeah, man, it's just resonated with people. I, I, it's just crazy really.
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B
You know, me spinning my wheels about the guys in prison, seeing you do these pranks and making me think the they're probably doing in prison and getting away with to each other. You know what I mean? Like little that they do.
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A
Yeah, I like. Yeah, I know, right? It is crazy like to think about like that is, you know, a form of their entertainment that they really like, enjoy.
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B
Like it's with people.
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A
Yeah.
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B
It makes sense for inmates, but that.
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They'Re watching me to like pass time and like laugh. Literally. Literally.
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Exactly.
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Like the most literal sense of the.
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World literally passed on.
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A
Yeah, that's the one. This what the show. The best thing that's ever happened. Like the best compliment of the show for me is that it's brought families together. And that's what I hear the absolute most help people through hard times, post tragedies or just rough time. And also that, and also that like it's the only thing that make our whole family can watch together. It's the thing that I shared with my grandma or my dad or, like, we don't have a relationship outside of, like, this is the show. That's the concept conduit to us talking or laughing or that you never anticipate. And that was the most shocking thing to hear, and that's the thing I hear the most, and I think that's the most humbling and, like, my proudest thing about the show. Yeah.
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B
You're a family man. I am. Last time you came, you were about to be.
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A
I was about to be a dad last time. Yeah. I was like, I was always very private with, you know, disclosing that stuff, just because I. I've been private my whole life, and you know how the Internet is, so they want to protect my. My interest. You know, it's like the last sacred thing, because I give everything. I play myself on the show. I give everything. And you know how we are on podcasts, you know, we. We. We. We have thousands of hours of us talking about everything under the sun.
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B
And that's the thing I'm conscious of about now, too. Like, I know I can't lie to my daughter.
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A
Yeah.
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B
About anything.
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A
Right.
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Because at some point, if she wants to, she or her friends could be like, no, no, no. I heard your dad say he did marijuana episode 64. He's talking about right here at this time.
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Not only did you do it, dad, but let me tell times you did. Yeah.
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B
There's no getting away with anything.
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A
Yeah.
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B
Not with our kids, at least.
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A
Right.
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B
You know, they're gonna know everything.
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A
Yeah. So since then, I've had two children.
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B
Two.
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A
I. I have. My daughter is just over three years old, and I have a son now who is ten and a half months old.
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B
Man, you are in it.
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A
I'm in it.
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B
You're in it, dude.
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A
Yeah.
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B
Did you sleep, train or any of that stuff?
- [11:00]
A
Yeah, they're a really good sleepers. I'm lucky with that. I mean, she's had her regressions that you expect and stuff. Recently, she has moved from her crib to, like, a mattress, like a twin mattress. Like, all these little things. Like, like, although. Like, when. When, like, something goes away, like when she stopped formula, I'm like, all right, that's. That's a sign of moving on. And, you know, when. When. When this happened, when that happened and we pulled away the crib, I'm like, oh, God. You know, like, because I. You know, you want to freeze them. You know, you just don't want them to get old. I mean, I want them to depend on me. I want to be their old universe. I want. So she got this twin bed, and we did this thing where, like, my wife got, like, a gate, like a wooden thing that goes around the twin beds or twin beds on the floor. And it has a door with class. Class that open and close.
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B
Oh, that's cool. Yes.
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A
You know, grow with it, you know. But no, we didn't show her that because we didn't want her to be escaping in the middle of the night, you know, and she wasn't big enough to get over, you know. But just. Just recently, she has now, like, in the last few months, like, she knows that it's a door and she opens it. So a couple of weeks ago, it started with, like, her waking up in the middle of the night and having the autonomy to get out of it. So she's not sure. Like, I have this little thing, it's called, like, a hatch light or whatever. So it does different colors, different sounds. It. Like, we used to put it a bed to white noise. But we tell her in the morning when you see the green light and you hear birds chirping, that's when you can get out of bed, you know, she. And she. She knows. So she'll sometimes wake up early, but know that that didn't happen. So just stay in bed until we do that. And I go up and get her. But now she's been, like, disregarding that and just like, getting up, like, two in the morning, opening her gate, turning on the lights and just starting to play.
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B
No.
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A
Yeah. And so, like, you know, I have to go upstairs and like, babe, it's. It's. It's still dark out. We're all sleeping. You got to get back in bed. She's like, all right. And then she get back in bed. And then sure enough, like, 20 minutes later, just because I had a little monitor, and I see it go from, like, night vision to, like, full color. She's slipping on lights, and she has this little, like. Like her own little chair in her room and everything. It's just so funny. Like, I'll open the door and she's. It's like 4 in the morning, and she's just lights her bunker over there, thumbing through a book. Yeah. And I'm like, babe, I just told you 20 minutes ago. Like, I promise you, like, I'll get you when it's time to get up, but you gotta, you know. So we're going through that a little bit now.
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B
It's hard for me because I. I remember times like that where I instead of wanting to discipline. I'm also like, oh my God, it's awesome.
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A
It's awesome.
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B
Like this little tiny. Any person in there, it's got their own computer in there. And they thought, yeah, I'll never forget the I. So I had a little single dad pad. We had a little living room here. And then the hallway went here to the two bedrooms. And there was just a little doorway.
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A
Yeah.
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B
I mean a door that would shut between the living room and the hallway. Bedroom.
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A
I know.
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B
So I would shut that door and one night I go to open it. It's like one in the morning, she's already asleep.
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A
And I go.
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B
And she's standing there in the hallway and it scared the out. It was the first. I've been wondering when she was gonna get up out of bed. And that was it. And she just standing there with her little pacifier looking at me and it scared the out of. I go, you got out of bed? She's like. And I was like, all right, here we go. Like someone's thinking and starting to do for themselves. Yeah, it's pretty wild.
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A
Sometimes my wife like on nights where like. Like for example, tonight I'm taking a red eye home. I'll get home. Like, well, you know, if I. If I like my wife will let me sleep in a little because of whatever like I come. You know, she'll get her and because she's now because. Because I thought when we had one was. Was kind of tough, you know, like. But now I realize it was like part time work, you know, because we could switch on and off. This is that now, you know, with the two. The way I like to say to my friend told me this I thought was so funny. We switched from. From zone to man to man coverage. So I. There's no rest, you know, Like I'm on them, you know. So since he's been born, she takes care of him in the morning and I take care of her in the morning. So. Whereas she used to get her and I used to get up just shortly after that, but had that little buffer. Now I'm up and I'm up when she gets up.
- [15:12]
B
Right?
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A
Because it's like she gets up an hour earlier than normal. I'm up and you know, so they.
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B
Totally different human beings.
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A
Like he's a little too young yet to.
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B
I guess. Let me ask this though. You know when you think you got. When you finally got it all ironed out with your kid, you're humming now. We're like, I know how to swaddle. She Likes this. She likes this. So you assume that we're gonna apply that to this one.
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A
Yeah.
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B
Did it or was she. Were they totally different? Like, this one likes to be swaddled. This one. This one wanted to pacifier. This one didn't, you know?
- [15:42]
A
Yeah. So. So they're. They're the same in their demeanor. They're like, chill. They're not difficult kids. They're like, you know, they're sweet and they like, like to laugh. But as far as those semantics. Yeah. Like, we did everything by the letter with her and then with him. My wife wanted to try different things. Like, maybe he doesn't need to be swaddled. Maybe he doesn't need a pass. I don't want to depend on it because we just got her off the pacifier that she, like, in the last, like six months, you know, we had to do. It's. It's. Don't have kids. It's a whole thing, you know, like, that's a security thing. Yeah, you got you.
- [16:15]
B
We went to the dentist and they. They told her, hey, they told her, you're pushing your teeth out.
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A
Yeah.
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B
So I showed her the Simpsons, I guess is what your teeth are like. And she's like, this is what they're doing.
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A
We did it with the dentist too, you know, and we did this whole thing.
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B
I went home and I'm a single dad, so I have split custody. It's my weekend. The weekend we're gonna fucking get rid of pacifier. I'm like. And I said, we're doing it. We're doing it. So what I did that night was I let her stay up late. I just let her stay up late until she fell. Fucking sleep, right? And then I put her in the bed. Done. One night. Done. I couldn't believe it. This child was such a pacifier kid that we learned I would put like six of them in her crib.
- [17:01]
A
Yeah, me too, cuz.
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B
You know, they spit them out in the middle of the night and then he want to. I had them everywhere in there.
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A
They're one the spot. Like a boxer looking for that.
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B
Tyson looking for that after he got knocked out, bro. Y. 100%. And I mean, she could have touched one with her foot. They were everywhere in that. I'm telling you right now, if you're.
- [17:18]
A
A new parent, put them all in every corner. Hell yeah.
- [17:21]
B
You know, I had so many of them in that damn crib. I'm like, you ain't going. Don't worry. You're going to find one. You can hold on to one and put one in your mouth. Yeah, but it went. It was. I. I couldn't believe it was a one night and done good. I was very lucky.
- [17:35]
A
Yeah, we. We. Our. Ours was pretty. She did really well with it too. We just transitioned out of diapers too. So we're going through all that. But what was I getting at with. With the kids? Oh, yeah. So we didn't do. So with him. We didn't do the. We didn't do the pass. We only do it if he's really having a tough time, so he doesn't look for it. So that's good. But I was. I ADHD myself. I was.
- [17:57]
B
No, I interrupted you. You were talking about your wife wanted to do different things. Like not to pacifier.
- [18:02]
A
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But. Oh, yeah, with the man. Yes. I was telling about her getting up and stuff and how hard it is now.
- [18:09]
B
It's not.
- [18:10]
A
It's.
- [18:10]
B
You say you feel.
- [18:11]
A
Oh, so sometimes she'll get. She'll get her up if I'm. If she lets me sleep a little. And so she'll come down to the bed. Like, sometimes it's like the cutest thing. Like, she'll just touch my face softly and I'll like, open my eyes. Or like, she'll get in the bed and like, just like, lay next to me and then I see her and I just open my eyes. Sometimes, though, a. Literally just a open hand slap. Oh, yeah, just an open hand slap right across. Like, what? Like as I'm sleeping, and I'm just like, ah. And she's like, dad. I'm like, oh, my God, dude.
- [18:41]
B
Like.
- [18:41]
A
Like, they. They. They got some torque behind it doesn't matter.
- [18:46]
B
And they're fast with those weird little legs. They're not supposed to be able to run that fast, but, like, you put them down, you look back, and then they're all the way across the room. Like, no, man, it doesn't.
- [18:54]
A
Yeah, like this, this, this. We went on a family vacation in Florida and we had a yard with my family and there was a pool. An eye on her, you know, and dude, she cuts quick. She's good with the lateral movement. Bro, we're tearing our acl and I. She took off and I went to run after and I'm like, I almost like. Like, you know, obviously, if it was a race of any length, I demolish her, you know, she has no chance against me, but in quick, quick cuts in small areas, dude, she was. She was. She was best five yards. Because I. I need a little time to Take off. But she's like a. She's like a Tesla. She goes from 0 to 60, like 1 second, and. And before I knew it, she was get. She was putting space in between us.
- [19:39]
B
Yeah, bro.
- [19:39]
A
And then I like. I'm like, yo. Then she. Once I say stop. She doesn't want to stop. And I was like, all right, I need to. Do you know what she did to me, dude? She's very smart. And lockout. She's like. She's starting to read now. She's unbelievable. She's like the funniest. It's like, it's on. But she's the. My kids are the funniest people. No one makes me laugh.
- [19:57]
B
No doubt. Yeah.
- [19:59]
A
But this. This son of a gun, she. She. She's. She now. Swimming happened fast, too. She doesn't swim without swimming, but it went from, you know, me holding her, and in one instant it was like she put on the swimming. Now she's jumping in and all that stuff. So she. We're out of the pool. Everybody went somewhere. So it's like. Because I was there at my in law, like, everybody was there. We had a whole bunch big thing. And it was just me and her for some reason, like. And so we're sitting at the pool and talking to her, eating lunch, and she stands up and she starts to walk toward the pool. And she knows she can't go near the pool without swimming. She knows all this, but she, you know, they test. So she goes. And she walks up to the. The pool, the edge of the pool. I'm. I'm. She. You're her. I mean, this is how close we are. Because she soon she stood up.
- [20:42]
B
I stood up.
- [20:43]
A
And I walk with her. And I don't want to, like, overdo it, you know, Like, I wanted to be able to know. Like, I'm right there, you know, I believe I told her everything under the sun. Like, dad has to be here. You can't trip in unless I'm in the old. And she knows. She goes up to the edge and I stand up and I don't say that. And I walk about. I'm about two feet behind her. And she turns around, looks at me like that, and I go, all right, you had to step back from the thing or whatever. And she just looks at me, turns around and jumps in. No swimmies on. And I literally. First middle finger. Yeah. And I just. I was like. I was in the. I jumped so fast because it was like five feet. Like, she went straight down. I jumped in so quickly that. That I pulled her back up, like, before there was any panic set in, you know, because when she jumps in, when I swimming, she goes on there and comes back up. So it was the same sensation. So she didn't, you know, but part of me was like, you know, I lifted her up, and I. The feeling I had, dude, twice on that trip, was as scared as I've ever been with her. I, like, held her up, and, like, I didn't want to. Like, I was. I was like, I have to drill this into her. So I got out of the pool. I put her down. I got right in her face. I'm like, look at me, Me. I was like, you cannot do. You also, like, it's just a real, you know, this real sensitive thing because you can't really go so hard because they're not that layered in their thinking yet. And, like, you don't want them to. You don't want to accidentally encourage them to try it again. It's like. But I got so. And I looked her right in the face. I've never raised my voice at all, ever, in my life. But I'm just, like. It was, like, slightly raised. I'm like, look at me. You cannot jump in unless I'm in there. You can hurt yourself. She doesn't know the concept of anything. I'm like, you know, and she was. So the rest of that trip, she'd walk up to me like, I can't. I can't. I can't jump in there. I can't. I'll. This is very dangerous. I will get her. I'm like, thank you. You know, but you ever have this.
- [22:37]
B
But wait, let me ask you this, though. As a dad, are you also stoked that she looked back and was like, I'm.
- [22:43]
A
She's up. You know what I mean, dude?
- [22:45]
B
She's good for her, though, because, you know, it is partly. They need to learn about fear a little bit, too, you know?
- [22:52]
A
Yeah.
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B
So when I moved into this building, we had a pool in there, and they didn't have a fence around it. And the lady's like, you're the only person with a baby. It's an older building. She's like, the. It's, you know, it's gated access front and back, so the pool's protected, but within the building, it's not.
- [23:09]
A
Yeah.
- [23:10]
B
And I said, well, then it. I'm putting my kid in swimming lessons. So we went and got swimming lessons right away. I just made a rule that she wasn't allowed to wear swimmies. I was like, I don't want you wearing them because I don't want you to use those as a crutch pacifier. And we got to get rid of those, right? So. So then during the pandemic, our building was a privately owned building. The lady let the pool stay open. A lot of the bigger buildings closed their pools. Wow. I told my daughter, every day, every day, when you get done, this pandemic's over. You're gonna be swimming like a fish. And she does. She crushes it.
- [23:40]
A
Awesome.
- [23:40]
B
Every day. We're going down every day.
- [23:42]
A
Yeah.
- [23:42]
B
So it's. It's learn about dry drowning. I'm like, what's that?
- [23:47]
A
I don't know what that.
- [23:48]
B
You don't know about that? Here we go. Sorry, bro.
- [23:50]
A
Here we go.
- [23:51]
B
I can drag.
- [23:51]
A
Drown. I could drown dry. Do it to me, man.
- [23:57]
B
So you know how kids get a lot of. They slurp a lot of water sometimes, you know, so if a lot of that happens later in the night, they can have the water in their lungs and drown. And it's called dry drowning. And I, you know, I had never even heard of. Sorry, dude. Come on. Sorry, dude.
- [24:14]
A
That's my parent. Every time. Sometimes.
- [24:15]
B
What's water you swallowing?
- [24:17]
A
Sometimes she's just like, I see a dip in. Like, it's a beverage. I'm like, that. I. You can't. I got. It's chemicals.
- [24:25]
B
I'm saying the same thing. Burn your lungs up.
- [24:28]
A
Yeah. She'll go, like. I go. I go, babe. And she's like, all right, chemicals. I'm like, yes, chemicals.
- [24:36]
B
The other thing, too, when she and her friend used to. My buddy's daughter, best friends, they were about the same age. They'd swim together, and every time they would come up out of the water to show you, like they're swimming out, they would spit water. I go, please.
- [24:47]
A
Yeah, right.
- [24:48]
B
My face. Every time, like, could you please stop? Everything else is great.
- [24:53]
A
The biggest. I. I'm wondering if you've had this scare. This is my first time with this scare. I'm sure I'll have another like this, but it was my first and only. So far, same exact trip. We got one of those big issue three row SUV's. We got two of those because we got all family, right? We're going to. We're going to leave the house. The SUVs are parked in the driveway in front of this house. Okay? So we're loading the car up. I'm loading up strollers, this, that the, you know, the doors are open to the car and we're all getting in. And she's right there.
- [25:20]
B
There.
- [25:20]
A
We're all right there, right? I put in the stroller. I put this in. I turn around. She's not there, Right? So I look left, I look right. I don't see her. And I call her name. And then my wife's right there. She goes, what? I go, she was right here. She calls her name. Everyone starts calling her name. There's like 10 of us. 10 of us are there. No one knows where she is. My first instinct, she went to the street.
- [25:48]
B
Mm.
- [25:49]
A
I mean, this all happened within three seconds, right? I'm yelling her name. I'm yelling her name. I run out into the street, and I look up and down the street. I don't see her. A car had passed. I'm like, did a car kidnap? Yeah.
- [26:06]
B
Yeah.
- [26:07]
A
You know what I mean?
- [26:09]
B
Beautiful.
- [26:10]
A
Minding all the scenarios right now.
- [26:11]
B
Now.
- [26:11]
A
And then I. I run right for about 20, 30ft, looking in people's driveways. I run left, 20, 30. Look. And now I'm screaming her name. Everyone's screaming her name. And I'm thinking, if she walked back into the house, the pool's in the yard.
- [26:22]
B
I. Oh.
- [26:23]
A
I started chugging toward the house, getting the. Now I'm running toward the pool. My heart is. I'm. I'm having a heart attack. And I'm ready to just dive right in the pool. And I get up to the pool, and I look, and she's not in the pool. I'm like, that was a relief. But then, where is this child? Now everyone's running through the house, and everyone's running.
- [26:42]
B
She was literally right here. The stroller behind.
- [26:44]
A
She was. I could have touched her with my hand. I put the two things in the thing. I turned back around. It was less than 10 seconds total. Less than 10 seconds. But also, she was amongst all of us, so.
- [26:55]
B
Right.
- [26:55]
A
And no one knows where she is. And the feeling that you have in this moment is the most palpable, vulnerable. It's the most scared I've been in my entire life. You know what I mean? Like, imagine being in your late 40s and feeling that feeling, like. Like, I've never been that scared in my life. I've never felt that in my life. The panic. I almost couldn't breathe. Like, the adrenaline surge. I was hyperventilating just from running. Like, you know, and now we're screaming at the top of my lungs. I'm like, call 91 1, right? And then someone in my family. I don't know if it was my Friend just goes, oh, here she is. She just got in the car.
- [27:43]
B
She was in the car.
- [27:44]
A
She got in the SUV and went and sat in the back seat, and she did not respond to us when 10 adults were running in every single direction screaming her name at the top of our lunch. She just was sitting in the back seat, and she didn't say anything. And as soon as they found her, I took a knee, man. I took a knee. I literally went down on a knee, and I literally, like, started almost like. I was, like, crying almost, because, like, you can't like, to hit that. Let where I hit inside that. That panic and that fear, and then to thank God, you know? Like, you know, it just was, like, so overwhelming, and I, like, had pains in my stomach. Like, my whole stomach was in knots, and, like, it took, like, an hour for me to regulate again. I was so deregulated. And. Oh, my God, dude, I. You know, I never. You ever see, like, those leashes? Yeah, I was like, I never wanted to get a leash before, but I was like, I'm gonna get a leash in every color.
- [28:46]
B
They look better.
- [28:47]
A
They'll match your outfit.
- [28:48]
B
They're monkey.
- [28:49]
A
Yeah. I'm putting you on a bungee cord, player. If you go more than 15ft, you're gonna snap right back to me.
- [28:57]
B
I'm not even gonna pull it, dude.
- [29:00]
A
You. You must have had this, because it's law of averages, right? You had this.
- [29:04]
B
Not only did I have it, I. I'm proud of you for taking only an hour. I had to go to therapy.
- [29:12]
A
It's why you started this podcast.
- [29:15]
B
My daughter was probably three at the time, and I was meeting her mom. I know exactly the day. It was the Charger. The Ravens were playing the Chargers out here a couple. Few years back when the Chargers were playing at the.
- [29:33]
A
What's up with your boys, man? Come on. They're an exciting team to watch, and I'm. I've been like, oh, man, they got to get their act together, and I'm a Steelers fan, so.
- [29:42]
B
The Ravens are not the Ravens.
- [29:43]
A
Yeah, well, everyone's on. I mean, their whole. Their whole paper before that. Yeah.
- [29:47]
B
No. Excuse.
- [29:48]
A
I didn't mean to interrupt.
- [29:48]
B
That's okay.
- [29:49]
A
I know you're a big fan, but.
- [29:51]
B
We'Re going to that game that night. Her brother and I are going to that game, and. And we're parked on the side of the road, and I'm, you know, giving my daughter to her mom. I just had lunch with her brother and her, and it's right off of Wilshire Busy street. And my daughter goes to run to see her mom, and instead of going on the passenger side, she cuts between the cars and starts to go across the street. Street. And I. I freaked out. Yeah. I screamed Stella. Like a guttural.
- [30:28]
A
Yeah.
- [30:28]
B
To this day, I couldn't replicate it.
- [30:30]
A
Yeah.
- [30:30]
B
It was. Oh, my God. And then snatched her at the last second. Her mom grabbed her and this car was. It was like flying. And I lost my. And then I just hugged her. And I was. I was crying. I was hyperventilating. I was like, oh, my God. God. And when we left Sal, I couldn't. I couldn't stop imagining what didn't happen. Being hit by this car and the way it would have gotten.
- [31:02]
A
Yes.
- [31:02]
B
And the, the brutal death this child would have had in my hands and what a horrible parent.
- [31:07]
A
Feel it. Oh, so you, you, you, you feel it inside that moment. That's something I work on too, because I put myself in these positions and we've talked about this in the past, and I am feeling that. I. I feel that grief in my thoughts. I feel that actual grief as if it's happened.
- [31:25]
B
As if it's happened.
- [31:25]
A
And like, you don't want that. You want to save that for when it happens because that is some heavy ass grief.
- [31:30]
B
Yeah.
- [31:30]
A
And I, I'm working on trying not to have that touch point to that grief now. Like, you know what I mean? But I, I. Therapy. We talked about it last time, what.
- [31:40]
B
I had to do.
- [31:41]
A
Yeah.
- [31:41]
B
I immediately. And I don't know why these two things were the, the things that popped up for me, but I always have been a chill person. But what I realized is my anxiety's just been chilling in a hammock.
- [31:52]
A
Yeah.
- [31:52]
B
Waiting for its number to be called. Oh, it's in our late 40s.
- [31:55]
A
Yeah.
- [31:56]
B
Here we go. Here we go. And like you said, imagine being in your life. I immediately became terrified of heights.
- [32:03]
A
Yeah.
- [32:03]
B
I couldn't fly. I couldn't fly anymore. Turbulence. I would be the guy on your flight. I love to fly. I would be terrified to take off. And then I talked to Dr. Drew and he's like, you got to go do this. And then I did. The EMDR realized where these fears are coming from and why, and I can now think about them and regulate them. And the main point she made is you keep saying it over and over. I couldn't stop thinking about what didn't happen. She's like, we got to control your mind and not future trip on that. Let's focus on, you know, what did happen. Everyone's safe, everyone's fine. And now we learned a valuable lesson. All right.
- [32:43]
A
All right.
- [32:44]
B
And I'm monkey tapping on planes and.
- [32:47]
A
People looking, trying to separate everything I can, you know.
- [32:51]
B
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- [36:51]
A
Yeah, I, I gotta, I gotta go back because that, that did help me with something and that, that, that'll. I haven't done it with like in, in recent times and it was, it was effective and. But yeah, that's what I do too. And it's like because some part of you likes some. This part of me. It does feels like I don't want to be bl. Something like that. And so I don't know if it's like thinking that I'm preparing, preparing or something. Not when you're thinking of something like an accident like that, that I go there too. And that's just like you better shake out of this. But just natural things like losing people like we talked about this last time. It's like, I don't know if it's just like embracing, you know, you. You begin to brace for something and. Because you just never know when it can happen. And so it's like, like I'm trying.
- [37:36]
B
To shift my mental focus to bracing that I'm going to go before you go. Right. Regardless of the age.
- [37:42]
A
Right.
- [37:42]
B
If that's tomorrow, I'd rather that than you go before me.
- [37:46]
A
Right.
- [37:46]
B
That.
- [37:47]
A
Oh yeah. Oh yeah. You know, that's actually the biggest thing.
- [37:51]
B
That shift for you. Oh yeah, it did.
- [37:53]
A
Oh yeah.
- [37:53]
B
Cuz you were always worried about other people's deaths.
- [37:56]
A
Yes.
- [37:56]
B
Now you're worried about yours.
- [37:57]
A
Well, yeah, yeah. Well, no, I'm. I was always worried about loved ones, especially parents. The kids is a whole. Another level. I can't even. Kids and wife, I can't.
- [38:07]
B
Put your head there. Yeah.
- [38:09]
A
But before we even get into this, let me say this. Last time I was on this, I remember, like, you know, first of all, you have. This is a wonderful podcast. Not like any other podcast.
- [38:19]
B
Thank you, dude.
- [38:19]
A
Yeah. And I, And I remember being like, is this going to be entertaining to people? Because I like, it was, it was, you know, so I felt sad, like at times I was like, you know, and I just didn't, you know, with comics and stuff. But like, I, I went back after I, after we did this, and I read the comments on our episode, which I don't do, and I've never seen comments like that before, and I was blown away by the comments of this, this first time we met.
- [38:46]
B
I remember.
- [38:47]
A
And your audience and your viewers and, and how, how they received it, what they shared, what they said it felt like and how much they appreciated it. And I was, I was blown away. I've never in a, in a time when you do a podcast and half of the comments, no matter what, are just going to be trolls and haters and the opposite of what you've cultivated here. And I read that and I was like, it was powerful. So I just want to commend you on what, what this podcast and the type of people that you've brought to this podcast and your fans and listeners are really special group.
- [39:20]
B
Thank you, man. You have no idea how much that means to me, man. I am very proud of this group of people right here and our numbers. We may not be up there with the mega podcast and everything. What I will say is people like you say this to me all the time.
- [39:36]
A
Yeah.
- [39:37]
B
Your fans. Josh Wolf just had a really deep one about his son dealing with addiction. And he said, I can't tell you how many comments I'm getting left And. Right. Thank you. Thank you. So thank you.
- [39:47]
A
Yeah, it's. It's restores. It restores some faith, man.
- [39:50]
B
I'm trying to do something different over here. I mean, we could pull our dicks out and do everything else all the time, but no, people will cry for.
- [39:56]
A
That too if I did that.
- [39:59]
B
Actually, we're gonna go ahead and make this a clip. Clip that first. We're clipping that. Let me ask you this, though, as a. As a dad.
- [40:08]
A
Yeah.
- [40:09]
B
What's been the hardest thing for you? Yeah, what's been the hardest thing?
- [40:13]
A
Yeah. So. So on the way here, right? So I remember last time. So on the way here, I'm in the car and I'm like, oh, you know, I want to make sure, like, I. I remember what we talked about last time. So this time. And I knew that we didn't speak about my kids. And I have that to talk about now. So first, though, I got out of the shower, I put on my eye cream. I have a facial routine, right?
- [40:32]
B
I gotta.
- [40:33]
A
You self. You gotta take care of your face. So what I did was I went. I flew too close to the sun. I got some cream up in my balls here, right? And that. That happens every, like, you know, like every week or two. Like, I. I'll go, I just do that. And it gets. And then now all of a sudden, like, my eyes, they start, like the whole day.
- [40:51]
B
Day.
- [40:52]
A
Like, I'm always doing this the whole day because it's in there. And it's like, it's just annoying that happened today. And I'm like, I'm on my way to the honeydew, and I already got the, like, the eye irritation, permanent crying. So then I'm in the car, I'm driving my. You know, my buddy Josh is driving, and I'm.
- [41:07]
B
I'm.
- [41:08]
A
It was too little time for me to, like, listen to the episode. So again, I'm reading the comments because that was a lot of them reference what things we talk about. And I was like. And as I'm reading the comments, I'm getting emotional. I'm getting emotional from the things I About talk. Talked about, how wonderful these people are, all the things they're saying and the things that they're sharing, they're going through. I'm reading the comments now. I start crying in the car. I literally. I literally have tears coming down my cheeks in the car. I'm like, like, I. I already know I'm probably gonna end up crying here. I got the. I had the lotion in my eyes. Now I'M crying anyway. On top of it in the car. I'm using a tissue. I don't want to go there with puffy red eyes. Nice. So that's already that now I'll tell you right now. We start talking about my kids, I get emotional. So I'm just putting that out there right now. But, yeah, so the kids is, you know, the best thing that's. That's ever happened to me, hands down.
- [42:01]
B
Did you always want to be a dad?
- [42:03]
A
Always.
- [42:03]
B
Okay, so you were trying for your first one and stuff. It's not something that, you know, married people happen.
- [42:08]
A
And as a matter of fact, you know, I'm going to be 49 in November, and the first thing that happened when I had my daughter was, like, regret that I didn't do it sooner.
- [42:19]
B
So wait, you're 45? 46 when you're a new dad?
- [42:22]
A
Yeah.
- [42:22]
B
Saying when you first had your first.
- [42:24]
A
Kid, I. I was 45.
- [42:27]
B
Yeah.
- [42:27]
A
Yeah.
- [42:27]
B
Okay. I was 41. And I. I mean, look, your regret's probably different than mine. My regret was. Oh. I mean, if we were just going to be together for a year and you decide you don't want to actually do this, I could have done this in my 20.
- [42:42]
A
Right.
- [42:43]
B
My knees were still good, which I wanted to go back to real quick. When you're an older parent and those kids dart like that, you can't. Like, I've realized I need to stay in shape. You can't go from a cold position to an immediate sprint in your 40s. You can't.
- [42:59]
A
You literally can't. And it's.
- [43:02]
B
You literally can't. You'll tear something. You'll run the jack. Oh, there goes my acl. I'm down.
- [43:06]
A
Yes. It's eye opening, dude. It's eye opening because be like a.
- [43:09]
B
A dad in their twenties. They're sprinting over there, cutting. Yeah.
- [43:13]
A
You start to realize your limit, that you have limitations, just that you have them, you know?
- [43:19]
B
When's the last time you intentionally ran full speed, bro? I can't remember, bro.
- [43:24]
A
I cannot remember.
- [43:25]
B
It would definitely be a competitive sports.
- [43:27]
A
This just happened again. And I. And I'll tell you, this happened to me about a month ago, three days later, I started with a personal trainer. See, we took it. She went. We went to soccer and. And we pulled up. We pulled up to go to soccer, and my son had needed a diaper change. So my wife opens the back cab of the. Of the suv and she's doing that. And I'm with my daughter. My daughter, you know, we're on a residential block. She starts walking down the sidewalk a little bit again. I don't want to be a helicopter. She's right there, you know, so she starts walking and she's like 5, 10ft away. No big deal. She knows not to go in the street or whatever. And, and then she just decides she's going to take off full speed running. She just starts, she just starts going. She got a little further than I like walking. I go, hey, come on back. And then she looked at me and she kept going. I said, come on back. And then she went from a, from a, she just went from a zero position to a full toddler sprint. Now all it takes is we're on a sidewalk. She just goes into the street. That's it. Like you just said, I dropped everything I had and started to run full speed. You know what? You know what my legs felt like? The, where, where your legs meet your hips up there. It felt like they were going to just fling off. Do you notice, you know those toys when we were little, when you push the bottom and then on strings and they come back up like this and it's like a donkey or whatever and, and then the legs just go like that again. Dude, my legs. I felt like that thing. I was like, yeah, you can't, you.
- [44:57]
B
Cannot just drop everything and haul ass.
- [45:00]
A
Anymore when your brain is telling you that you're running as fast as you can. I know what that is from 40 years of life. And I wasn't doing that speed. I was like, I'm in my head. I'm like, I'm running as fast as possible. And dude, I was hobbling to her. And then I finally caught her, like. And you know, again, again, I'm running in my head full speed. She's running full speed. And I'm really not gaining that now. I saw panic and I'm like, yo.
- [45:30]
B
Also, I don't have the stamina to keep this up either.
- [45:34]
A
My pants are falling off. Like, I was like, you know, and, and, and I, I couldn't believe it, dude. I, I, I almost pulled. I thought I pulled everything, right. Three days later, here's her over here.
- [45:50]
B
I've never felt hurt.
- [45:52]
A
And I'm like, but I had to. God damn. I had to carry her into the park to the field, which is like another like, you know, 2, 10 of a mile. And I'm like, so, So I started three days later, the personal trainer, I said, this is the end. Why are you here?
- [46:08]
B
I can't catch my kids.
- [46:09]
A
I'm putting this to bed. I need the strength to. Dude, I don't. I can't make a move without a, without some kind of guttural sound coming out of me, like, because I'm on.
- [46:18]
B
The floor a lot.
- [46:18]
A
I'm on the floor a lot.
- [46:20]
B
My son just learned how to tummy ties down there.
- [46:22]
A
Tummy time. Just that the other. I always write down there with them. But I have to allow, you know, what I have to do now too. I. This is. You got to do this to get up. I always push off a knee that's planted down. I don't. You. I, I have to use this to get, you know, just to make sure. But if I'm getting up, I'm like.
- [46:42]
B
And.
- [46:42]
A
And I don't even think about it. And then I realized I want. If I just had a recorder going all day and I was home alone and I played it back, all you'd hear here all day is like, it just. What has become of this, man? So, oh, the only time I could do the training now is before they get up. So I'm getting up at 6 in the morning. Like I'm on a, like a cross country sports team now. And I'm going down there and I said to the guy, look, man, I'm weak. I have no stamina. I said, I need to build up my strength. I need to be healthy. I'm playing. I got to play a longevity game here. So, you know, I did a full blood panel. I got, I'm on supplements now. I'm like, really trying to fine tune this thing. Look at. I mean, you're an inspiration right here. We pulled up today. I said, oh, my God, you looked, you look amazing. It's. It's inspiring.
- [47:35]
B
That 189.9, bro. I see a 18 on the scale. Well, here's the other thing I did for my health too. I went and got. So my younger brother, he's not so young anymore. He's 50s, about the. To be 48, 49. He just had open heart surgery.
- [47:50]
A
Oh, my old school.
- [47:52]
B
They couldn't go in. They were like, unfortunately, two of your arteries are completely clogged and your other one is 70% clogged. And he's like, what?
- [48:00]
A
He had no clue that was the case.
- [48:01]
B
He said his cholesterol, everything was fine. The numbers on that thing was fine. I said, what was the indicator? What was it that. He said, I was tired all the time. And I said, oh, I'm tired all the time. But also, we work all.
- [48:12]
A
Yeah.
- [48:13]
B
And we, we have so he's got three kids, so he went in, had to get it done. I go get. Every three years, I get a CT scan on my heart.
- [48:22]
A
I'm about to do all of this.
- [48:24]
B
Okay. I go every three years. And I had zero percent. I was like, wow. I wouldn't. Thought I wouldn't have bet. My life had zero. All the family history and everything. But I've got the blood disease. My heart's good. My blood is not good.
- [48:37]
A
Okay.
- [48:38]
B
So he's got good blood, bad heart. So I went and had a cardio. It's called a cardio.
- [48:44]
A
I'm doing it.
- [48:44]
B
That's where they shoot the diet. Yeah. Just went and did that. I just went and had something called a gallery test. You all should be listening. I got the cancer one.
- [48:53]
A
I'll show you my phone. Right now I'm doing the pre nouveau scan.
- [48:56]
B
Great for. For cancer detectors.
- [48:58]
A
Yeah. Just did all of the CT angiogram.
- [49:01]
B
Yeah.
- [49:01]
A
The calcium school. I'm doing all of it.
- [49:03]
B
And then I do a full blood and urine lipid panel every. I do that every two months. And I. You get one through insurance, a physical year, but I pay.
- [49:13]
A
Right.
- [49:13]
B
For a second one. And my doctor's always like, you're one of my best patients. I said, look, man, if I can buy weed, if I can go spend a hundred dollars on sushi, right. I can spend money coming in here, right. And doing my own little blood panel and, you know, skipping a sushi meal or skipping some weed for my health.
- [49:30]
A
Yeah.
- [49:30]
B
That's. What other thing I want to tell you is this PT you're doing is great to. To get in shape for the this and the this, but the longevity that you're going to give your kids of, hey, my dad made it to be an old man. My dad died at 42. I always say I want to be something my dad never was, and that's an old man.
- [49:46]
A
Yeah.
- [49:46]
B
And I'm trying to get there because I want my kids to. To have a dad that's there and they're older, you know?
- [49:52]
A
Yeah.
- [49:53]
B
Especially when they're parents. I wish I could talk to my dad about, you know, having kids.
- [49:57]
A
Yeah.
- [49:58]
B
Do you have your parents?
- [49:59]
A
I do.
- [50:00]
B
And do you talk to them about. Are they great grandpa parents?
- [50:03]
A
Yeah, they're great. Unfortunately, during COVID they moved out of state, and my whole life, they live within five minutes of us. So that's been really tough on me. That's something I talk about in therapy because I. I don't know, I didn't grow up like that. I didn't grow up, like, you know, maybe like not having them right there or, you know, I'm so busy and with the kids and like 10 jobs, like, sometimes I. I could. It could take, you know, on the long side, like four, five, six, seven weeks. Weeks to see them again. I'm always thinking, you know, when am I going to see the next? Try to put it in my book and like, make the time. And so I have something on the books all the time, you know, during the holidays or like when it's like for some reason there's some free time, maybe I'll see them every couple, two, three weeks. But the average is probably like five, six weeks, and it could get as bad as seven, eight weeks. And it's like, this is insane because all I want to do is be around my family, you know, like, especially now. Like, I don't want to. At this rate, am I seeing them, you know, a dozen times a year. And when I go, luckily, so all my entire family move there. So my. My mom and dad, separate households, you know, and since I'm little and. And then I have three sisters and they're all separate houses, five households. They all moved.
- [51:15]
B
Oh, okay there.
- [51:15]
A
Which is kind of cool because they all live within five minutes of each other now there.
- [51:19]
B
But they all have kids and stuff too.
- [51:20]
A
It's 80 minutes from me with no traffic. So my one sister has three young kids, kids and my other sisters have adults, adult kids. But.
- [51:30]
B
But did you grow up like that with cousins and stuff?
- [51:32]
A
Yeah.
- [51:33]
B
See, me too.
- [51:33]
A
I. I wish the best thing ever cousins was like, you have this. We talk about the way back in that, you know, and I told you I have a story in there that's me and my cousins piling into that. That stationway and going down to the Jersey shore when we're younger. And, you know, that was like, you know, the memories with my cousins and the holidays and that was the big thing. So she. She has some cousins on my wife's side, but all her, you know, cousins are there, so she doesn't get to see them that much either. So. Yeah, so that's. That's kind of. That's kind of tough, but.
- [52:06]
B
Talking about just getting your health back in check and you saw you.
- [52:09]
A
Yeah, it's. Yeah, it's just. It's just. It's just weird for me, like, to see them, like, I'm thinking, like, let's say, knock on wood, my dad, we're planning his 80th birthday right now in December, let's say the guy lives 30 more years. What? I mean, please. You know, but if I'm seeing him at a rate of 12 times a year, you're telling me, you know, like, like, that's not a lot. You know what I mean? Like, we used to be this thing where he's like, just anyone would be popping into anyone's house. And again, that's how I grew up. So, like, that has been the hardest thing for me since. Since. Since in this time that they moved away. But the main thing on my mind right now, without a doubt, is to live as long as I possibly can to be here for the kids. I want, Want to. You know, I. I see grandkids, I don't know if I'll even see that. You know, Like, I didn't have a kid till 45.
- [52:58]
B
Right.
- [52:58]
A
You know, so if.
- [52:59]
B
So when we're at graduation, people are gonna be like, oh, you brought your grandfather. I already think about that.
- [53:03]
A
Like a off. If they don't have kids, let's say at 30, they don't have kids yet. Which is very, very reasonable.
- [53:10]
B
And I do this math.
- [53:12]
A
30 years from now, I'm 78. Like, that's. That's up there, you know, like, if you're not in good health.
- [53:17]
B
And then if I. How many more. How many years I get with the grandkids?
- [53:20]
A
How many.
- [53:21]
B
Three years where they don't even remember who I really am? You know, I. I think about this all the time. I would have, excuse me, as a younger man, I would have never said, I hope my daughter has a kid young. But these days, I'm like, I'll help you. I'll help you find a good guy.
- [53:39]
A
Let me help.
- [53:40]
B
Let me help raise that baby.
- [53:41]
A
And even my kids, like, having the relationship with my parents as they, Their grandparents that I had because my. My parents, My grandparents had my parents young, so I was very, very lucky. I still have my grandma on my mom's side, who's 93 or 96. We don't know. And then. And then, you know, my grandpa lived to almost 96, and my other grandparents.
- [54:03]
B
Got longevity in your mid mid 80s.
- [54:05]
A
My other one. So.
- [54:07]
B
So are you just looking after your health now not because it runs in your family, but because you just want to make sure. Yeah. To help you mentally to know. You know, I helped me, like, okay.
- [54:17]
A
I want to do everything cancer thing.
- [54:19]
B
For three, five years, but you gotta, you know, keep.
- [54:21]
A
Well, I was just gonna get some life insurance, and something freaked me out big time. They said that, like, these life insurance companies, they do the blood, work this out the other. And they can calculate when you're gonna. With. With. In insane accuracy when you're gonna die. Like, they know it. They do everything based on, like, the risk assessments, and they. They. Their business is run off that accuracy, and they have just endless data. So, like, they can take your whole workup of your whole panel and look at your health and your weight and your age and your, you know, all your predispositions, what have you. And. And they'll. They'll. They'll know. And they said that it's like, with insanely surprising accuracy, like, down to the. Like. Like the. Like the week.
- [55:08]
B
It's gonna be April 6th.
- [55:09]
A
I know, I know.
- [55:11]
B
That's crazy.
- [55:12]
A
Freaked me out to think that that. That's written already now. You can change it, I'm sure, with, like, you know, because if you're not in the state you're in now.
- [55:21]
B
Yeah. You lose weight. Yes.
- [55:23]
A
For me, that was like, oh, I. Like, this is the only. I have to take control of that. You know, like, I got to move that. That marker because I'm not in the best health. I always run, you know, overweight. You know, I'm always carrying extra weight on me, and I don't. I. I'm not on top of my blood work and all this other stuff. So. So this is. That just made me open my eyes and be like, no, no way. So I am dental.
- [55:44]
B
Make sure you take care of your teeth, because that's heart, too. You know what I mean?
- [55:48]
A
Teeth.
- [55:48]
B
Yeah, teeth, bad gums and can really your heart up.
- [55:52]
A
I didn't know.
- [55:53]
B
Yeah, take care of those teeth and gums.
- [55:56]
A
One has to do with the other.
- [55:57]
B
All of it. All of it's got to do with everything.
- [55:59]
A
Wow. I didn't know that.
- [56:01]
B
And the other thing, too, I tell people is go, you know, we have a lot of people on this show that don't talk to their family anymore or estranged for good reasons. Their parents, whatever, were shit. But those people, they're your genetic biomarkers.
- [56:15]
A
Yeah.
- [56:16]
B
So if you don't talk to them or whatever, then go get. Go find out what the fuck is going on in you.
- [56:22]
A
Yeah.
- [56:22]
B
You know what I mean? Like, your whole family might be predisposed to breast cancer or diabetes or whatever. And if you don't talk to them, you don't know what you could be looking at down the road. So figure out. Get your tests, get everything figured out, find out your genetics, your biomarkers, all that stuff. And then, you know, because I have two brothers we all have different makeup. You know what I mean? It doesn't matter. Just because he's got this. I know we're all. My, My oldest brother, he doesn't have the blood disease or the bad heart. My, My younger brother's got the cholesterol bad heart. I've got the bad blood. This motherfucker's off.
- [56:56]
A
Right?
- [56:57]
B
You know, so.
- [56:58]
A
Yeah, man. So, you know, the thing I think about with the kids too is, is like I, you know, well, first of all, the kids is like, you know, you talk about having a. I was as scared as ever was in that moment. If I've never felt a feeling. I felt like when I had the kids. Right. I just didn't know that feeling.
- [57:20]
B
Can I ask you what it was like driving your first child home from the hospital? Hospital?
- [57:24]
A
Yeah.
- [57:25]
B
Do you remember that ride?
- [57:26]
A
I do, yeah. Of course.
- [57:27]
B
I'm slowing down at greens.
- [57:29]
A
I was using hand signals. Yeah, I was.
- [57:41]
B
Dude, that was the most terrifying ride I've ever taken with my daughter.
- [57:44]
A
I swear to God. I don't. If I was adelight and I looked next to me and it was a literal white haired old woman looking at me like the. She wants you smoking. Stay away from my kids, old lady. Like, I was just like, like, you know, like the world, you know. Yeah, but, but you know, I never, I never. I imagine, like I said, this is what I tell the people because I, I look, if you don't want to be a parent, then that's your prerogative and that's totally like, that's what is good for you and that's fine. I'm not trying to say like people who don't want to be parents, like, but like I didn't know my life started, you know, like with my, with my kids, you know, you just don't know it. To have a feeling, a new feeling after 45 years that I talked about this on another podcast. But all the depression and anxiety and stuff like that, you know, you start to feel like, you know, you can be happy and there are moments when you recognize that you should be. Be happy and you say I'm. You tell yourself, I'm happy. This is a happy moment. Like this is good news or this is a, you know, I'm in a position like this is a holiday or this is. I'm with someone I love and. Or I got, you know, good news and you say I'm happy. But like, I noted that I wasn't happy the way I was prior in my life. Like I, I remember What? There was a happiness that, like, came out of me, like a pep in your step. Like you wake up ready for the day and like, you just were in a great mood. And that great mood, way more common in my past than it is now. I think you just get the weight of the world on you. You get older, you get more tired, you start to shift focus because, you know, you become more self aware, you become more aware of the world. You have more responsibilities, and these things start to slowly weigh you down. And, you know, you, your health gets a little worse and then that plays into your mental and stuff like that. It's different when you're young, you know, And I, like, was missing that feeling of, like, not having to tell myself to be, Be happy.
- [59:44]
B
Yeah.
- [59:45]
A
When you try everything.
- [59:46]
B
Let's talk. Yeah. I, I, I. That's a great. Oh, man, you're making me get in my world now. Yeah, I. Up until, up until 16, after it all went to, I didn't have to ever tell myself I was happy. I just was. Yeah, I just was. Yeah. And then one day something happens and you have to remind yourself that, all right, yesterday I wasn't, but today I am.
- [60:09]
A
Yeah, today's a good day.
- [60:10]
B
Good day. You talk about that being with your family. I try to, to step outside of things and big. All right, today's exactly what's supposed to be happening. It's my daughter's birthday today. Everybody's healthy. You know, my daughter's a very picky eater, and it's difficult at times, and it's frustrating because she won't go to this restaurant or that restaurant or it's. It can't be Mac and cheese. It's got to be Annie's White Mac and cheese.
- [60:35]
A
That's the best.
- [60:36]
B
It is. But like that. I'm like, but could you just eat the maggot?
- [60:39]
A
Right?
- [60:40]
B
And my daughter's mom is frustrated with it, and then she's got a friend of hers who is terrified of being away from her parents, won't go to school, won't do anything. And I looked at her mom and I said, I'll take Picky Eater all day long. You know what I mean? Like, you want your kid to be perfect? They're not going to be. But I'll take our problems. That's what they all. What's the old saying? If everyone got in a circle and we all threw our problems in the middle and you looked around, you'd be like, I'm going to take my shit back. Yeah.
- [61:10]
A
Oh, hell, yeah. That's your, that's perspective. You know what I mean?
- [61:13]
B
When you start really seeing like, oh, you're missing legs. Oh, you know what I mean? Like, I'm gonna go ahead and pick eater, right? Yeah, yeah.
- [61:19]
A
You know, I, and one thing I did early and I'll get back to what I was just saying, but one thing I did, I, I recognize real, real early is that like, because it doesn't. Everyone's like, you cherish it. It goes fast. It goes fast. And like, you know, just like when you know you're gonna have children, you know what you're supposed to feel, you know what you hear, what everyone, what it is. And everyone explains it to you. You know, know what's coming. Like you, you. You understand the concept of this love they're talking about and the feeling and everything. So you understand or you think you understand, but then when it happens, it's. It's not describable. It's like it's. That's just the way you can tell somebody else. But like there really are no words for it.
- [61:56]
B
No.
- [61:57]
A
So. And you know, with me and the way that I am with time and, and death and all that stuff, it's like I'm hyper focused. Like they're like I'm in every minute. I'm locked in with them. Like I do not, not that's. I do not sacrifice. Like everything else can fall by the wayside. Like, you know, I have, you know, the kids come first no matter what. And not that that's how it should be.
- [62:17]
B
Right? That's right.
- [62:18]
A
And so it's not, I'm not saying like, whatever, like this is. And it's all you want. It doesn't, it's not like you're doing anyone a favor. Like this is the new thing. Like they give you perspective. Like nothing else, nothing else matters. And so I am locked into every second. I know that like in a year, in five years, in 10 years, in 30 years, I will get. Give any amount of money, any genie wish to be right back to where I was today with them. Even if on my deathbed I could have one day back when they were three and just have that one normal day, just a day in the house with them. That's the treasured time. So like when they are having meltdowns or not behaving or I'm. I have no sleep. And it's the worst it could possibly be like the parent moment where this one just chilled on the floor and this one is screaming and they is that I like don't care. Like, I don't even. I don't really get frazzled because I'm like, this is it. This is still the best of what.
- [63:13]
B
Is the best it's going to ever get.
- [63:14]
A
It doesn't even matter. You're three. You love me to pieces. You're having a tantrum. It don't matter. You know, I mean, nothing matters. So, like, that from a. From early on has really helped me with what we call. I'm in the trenches right now with this. But it's like, you. You thrive and love every moment, not just some moments. And so, like, I am so aw of how lucky I am and how much I love them that, like, there's not one moment that I'm not, like, grateful even in the worst moments. So, like, for me, like, you know, you have friends joke with you and be like, you know, like, oh, like, you know, if you. It doesn't suck or doesn't it, you know, whatever. And I almost can't even joke. I'm like, it kind of doesn't suck.
- [63:54]
B
It doesn't. It's what I wanted.
- [63:57]
A
Yeah. Like, I. Like, this is it. Like, I'm in it for all of this, you know? Like, I. You know, and. And, you know, like, we're in a hustle. We. Our jobs. You got to hustle, you know, and you really got to want this job. You know, you got to go through a lot of failure and a lot of. Before you can be successful, and then you have to maintain that. So we're already. Grow it and grow it.
- [64:21]
B
If you're fortunate.
- [64:22]
A
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we. We know what this is, and it's like the same thing with kids. It's like that same piece of me that allowed me to have this career and do all the things I need to do to get where I am in this career is like, like, with a dad, you. I thrive. Like, I just want to be the best person, the best dad. Like, every second, improving every everything, do. Making all the right choices. Like, I, you know, like, it's. It's. I was already a person. I feel like I always try at least to be, you know, genuine, have integrity and honest and all that stuff. And, you know, with people and with my actions and decisions, like, I always was that. We're always striving for that. That. And then you have the kids and you're like, like, even. It's even more under a microscope. Like. And again, I. I've talked about this, you know, but it is. It's like. It's like the like the super bowl of integrity, you know, it's like. And I. I want to make every single decision, even, like, in when I'm alone. Like, anything. Any interaction I have with a person, any decision I make regarding anything, I want to do the filter of my children. And. And am I. Am I carrying myself in a way that is exemplary to them and is like, will they. You know, I want to just make them proud, you know? You want to strive to make your parents proud? I want to. You know, I want to make the kids proud, you know, I want them to only see what love is, what a loving family is, you know? And it's wonderful. It's such good. It's food for the soul. They are. You know what I mean? It's like. And it's. It's.
- [65:51]
B
It's. It's.
- [65:53]
A
I. That's when it gets hard and when I'm tired and everything, I thrive because it's like, you feel it. It's a visceral feeling, parenting and exhaustion and. And this kind of stuff. But it's like, this is like. I. I don't know. I just. It's. It. It like, empowers me to just be like, I, like. Like, give it to me. I'll take it all.
- [66:10]
B
Give it all.
- [66:11]
A
Give it.
- [66:12]
B
And I'm gonna make this work.
- [66:13]
A
Yeah. You sacrifice every single thing. Throw it all at me, because there's nothing you won't do for these kids. It's. And it's such a. Well, like, it's so hard, but it's such a liberating, beautiful thing.
- [66:30]
B
And the parent. I say all the time. Parenting is a long game, too. You can start great for the first 10 years. You might be shit, never show up for the next 30, but you don't get that reward until sometimes little earlier. But most of the time, they become parents, and like, we're saying we're older.
- [66:47]
A
Yeah.
- [66:47]
B
And then they look back and go, how the. Did you do it?
- [66:50]
A
Yeah.
- [66:50]
B
How are you at all? My.
- [66:51]
A
Gives me a new appreciation for my parents.
- [66:53]
B
Yeah.
- [66:54]
A
Yeah. And it's. It's just. It's the. It's the biggest honor of a lifetime to raise a person. It's.
- [67:06]
B
If you're a good one, if you're a good parent, There's a lot of.
- [67:09]
A
Shitty ones out there.
- [67:11]
B
That's why I appreciate sitting across from you, see your passion for it, because you really want it. We got to get you out of here, dude.
- [67:16]
A
Oh, is it time?
- [67:17]
B
It is.
- [67:17]
A
I got to talk about.
- [67:18]
B
I can talk to you all day long. I don't want to make it late.
- [67:21]
A
Yeah, yeah. Just as the tears start to flow, you cut me up. I love it. This good.
- [67:26]
B
I don't want to be a ball buring mess.
- [67:28]
A
Cuz I was getting there, man. I was getting there.
- [67:30]
B
Sal, thank you so much, bro. This has been a great episode and a great conversation as always. Plug plug your dates again, please.
- [67:36]
A
Thank you. I miss you. I love you. I love doing this. Yeah, just salvo cano comedy.com for my tour dates, I'm always adding some. So a lot of times, you know, when we post I'm going here, everyone's like, why aren't you coming here? Like, they'll be at it. Just check back. And big dates coming up. Chicago, November 14th at the Chicago Theater. Appleton, the next day, Wisconsin. I got the Beacon Theater, December 27th, and the Rhyme in April 12th, and so on and so forth. I got Minouche, which is a new talk show coming out late fall, early winter. And yeah, I guess my Special Terrified's on HBO. HBO Max season 12 of Jokers on TBS.
- [68:12]
B
Go see Sal live. Follow me on social media. You know where I'm at and go watch my special. Go support it to all your friends, your family. Watch it. We'll talk to you all next week. Sam.