The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler | Episode 373: Charlie Berens

Released: February 17, 2026
Guest: Charlie Berens
Main Theme: Laughing at Life’s Lowlights – From a Massive Family to Comedy Hustle

Overview

On this episode of The HoneyDew, Ryan Sickler sits down with comedian, writer, and podcaster Charlie Berens, known for his sharp Midwest humor and stories from America’s heartland. True to the show's spirit, they swap stories about life's “lowlights”—from growing up as one of 12 children in a devout Catholic family and enduring unusual jobs (including life drawing modeling for senior citizens), to career misadventures in journalism and newscasting. It's a fun, honest, and sometimes absurd conversation about how adversity, weird jobs, and making mistakes all make for good comedy.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Growing Up in a Catholic Family of 12 Kids

• Family Structure:
  • Charlie is the second oldest; his parents are still together.
  • The siblings range from about 22 to 39 years old, with a 17-year gap between oldest and youngest.
  • Weekly Sunday dinners keep the family tight.
• Parenting Style and Faith:
  • The family’s size is attributed to Catholic values—“If it happens, it’s happening” (04:32, Charlie).
  • “Nine years she spent pregnant. Nine years pregnant.” (09:48, Charlie)
• Life in the Suburbs of Milwaukee:
  • Moved into their grandparents’ home mid-childhood for more space.

2. Education, Math Struggles, and Sibling Dynamics

• Education:
  • Charlie admits to never being great at math, recalling a quirky grade school method called “touch math.”
  • He jokes about still using it to calculate restaurant tips, much to everyone’s bewilderment.
• Sibling Camaraderie:
  • Regularly close, especially at big family gatherings, including the burgeoning flock of grandkids.

3. Family Road Trips and Midwest Mishaps

• Legendary Family Vacation:
  • Story of getting the family’s passenger van stuck in a Wisconsin sand pit, with nine kids (and a pregnant mom) forced to trek two miles for help (09:21).

4. Leaving Milwaukee & Early Career Aspirations

• College Years:
  • Attended the University of Wisconsin.
  • Started in journalism, inspired by Jon Stewart and The Daily Show.
• First Arrest as a Journalist:
  • Detailed recall of being arrested during the 2008 Republican National Convention protests while covering the event for MTV’s Choose or Lose campaign.
  • Spent the night in a holding cell eating “a D minus PB&J sandwich” and later remembered for sharing it with a taxi driver—who ultimately returned the favor with a ride to “Dinkytown” and breakfast (20:23).
    • “I gave him half my PB&J sandwich. For what? Afterwards he gave me a ride to Dinkytown.” (20:18, Charlie & Ryan)

5. Transition to Entertainment & Unusual Hustles

• MTV & Early Media Gigs:
  • Covered Wisconsin for MTV News during the election campaign; other gigs included One-Minute News and a Dallas local newscaster stint.
• Working on ‘Cedar Rapids’ – Hollywood PA Days:
  • Landed a Production Assistant job through networking and “pleasant persistence.”
  • Almost became the “Ass Man” (PA for the infamous locker room ass shot) but negotiated for more money—his reputation for knowing the value of his rear stuck.
    • “They asked if they could use my ass. I said, do I get an extra rate for that?” (30:13, Charlie)
• Pretzel Rolling at Auntie Anne’s:
  • Demonstrated for Ryan how to properly roll a pretzel, regaling with tales of frequent hand burns and the challenge of resisting eating snacks on the job.

6. Art Modeling for Senior Citizens

• Craigslist Discovery:
  • Took up body modeling for an art class—primarily occupied by elderly women—while in Greenville, SC.
  • One lady even gifted him a drawing—her number penned on the back.
    • “I was just wearing boxers initially... she put her phone number on the back in case you want me to draw something else.” (35:01, Charlie)
• The Kane from Cain & Abel Commission:
  • Another gig paid $25 for a nude pose as biblical Cain—years later, Charlie’s girlfriend unearthed the painting for sale online at $3,000.
    • “Three G’s. Get the fuck out of here. $3,000 ass. I now know my value.” (40:31, Charlie)
• Memorable Reveal:
  • Ryan views the painting—impressed by the artist’s generous depiction:
    • “She gave you some good muscle in that side ass.” (41:17, Ryan)
    • “She did me a solid on that side ass...I appreciate it.” (41:15, Charlie)

7. Career ‘Lowlights’: Getting Fired, News Anchor Mishaps, and Accents

• Newscasting in Dallas (KDAF – CW):
  • Landed anchor job at age 25 for $50,000/year (felt rich).
  • The network quickly faltered, resulting in pay cuts and layoffs.
• Fired—but Not Officially:
  • Charlie admits he was “never technically fired” but was repeatedly moved aside until there was no role left for him.
  • Struggled with reading teleprompters (“faux pas” became “fox poise” live on air), and regional language differences caused additional confusion (e.g., “bubbler” means water fountain in WI, but a marijuana pipe in TX).
    • “I screwed it up live on air. That is awesome. Live too, not like we can redo that.” (48:56, Ryan)

8. Personal Lowlights: Divorce and the Catharsis of Comedy

• Divorce:
  • Married at 28, divorced after five years—not dramatic, fairly mutual.
  • Objects to the “Catholic guilt” angle and the family was ultimately supportive.
• “Rock Bottom” Moving Day:
  • The day he moved out post-divorce: car broken into, nothing taken, only both windows smashed.
    • “Do you know how depressing that is...they smashed two [windows], they took two looks at my shit.” (44:45, Charlie)
• Family Involvement and Support:
  • The Berens clan contains a comic, teachers, a lawyer, a realtor, nurses, and more; his mom and siblings help with his merch and comedy business.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On being outdone in trauma stories:
  “Trauma’s not a competition…it is your story, is what it is.” (02:44, Ryan)

• On Catholic family planning:
  “If it happens, it’s happening. Pretty much, we’re not stopping it.” (04:32, Charlie)

• On sharing a PB&J in jail:
  “Afterwards he gave me a ride to Dinkytown.” (20:20, Charlie)

• On negotiating his “stunt ass” rate on a film set:
  “They asked if they could use my ass. And you know what I did? I said, do I get an extra little rate for that?” (30:13, Charlie)

• On accidentally referencing marijuana on Dallas news:
  “Make sure you stay ‘in’ side and find yourself a bubbler…” (47:26, Charlie)

• On discovering his nude painting for sale years later:
  “$3,000 ass. I now know my value.” (40:31, Charlie)

• On the importance of self-belief:
  “Believe that you can do the thing that you want to do.” (53:54, Charlie)

Important Timestamps

• [03:00] – Childhood logistics: birth order, sibling bonding
• [09:20] – Family van road trip disaster and Wisconsin “up north” stories
• [12:00] – Early journalism ambitions, Jon Stewart inspiration
• [17:00–20:30] – Arrest at the RNC, “jail” PB&J, cab driver saga
• [25:36] – Pretzel rolling at Auntie Anne’s
• [28:39] – Production Assistant on ‘Cedar Rapids’; almost “Ass Man”
• [34:39] – Life drawing model saga and the senior citizen with her number
• [36:14–41:06] – Commissioned as Cain; “$3,000 ass” and the art detective girlfriend
• [43:02] – Divorce and moving out; car broken into, nothing stolen
• [47:26–48:10] – Anchor gig mishaps, “bubbler” faux pas
• [53:54] – Parting advice to his 16-year-old self

Conclusion

This is a classic HoneyDew: hilarious humiliations, Midwest idiosyncrasies, showbiz zigzags, and unexpected life lessons. Charlie Berens’s stories traverse big family madness, odd jobs you’d never expect, and the pursuit of comedy even after his TV news dreams fizzled out. Whether rolling pretzels, modeling for art grandmas, or referencing a “bubbler” on Dallas TV, Berens reminds us that lowlights always make the best stories.

Charlie’s Plugs:

• New YouTube special: Neighborly
• Tour dates, podcast, and merch: charlieberens.com
• Podcast: Bellied Up, co-hosted with Miles