375: Kevin Nealon | The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler #375 | Full Episode

Summary

The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler #375: Kevin Nealon Date: March 2, 2026
Guest: Kevin Nealon

---

Episode Overview

In this engaging and often hilarious episode, Ryan Sickler sits down with beloved comedian, actor, and artist Kevin Nealon. The pair dive deep into Kevin’s family revelations, late fatherhood, career highlights, and the lowlights that have shaped his life. True to the HoneyDew format, there’s plenty of laughter alongside some surprising and poignant stories of discovery, adversity, and growth.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Kevin Nealon’s Current Projects

• Comedy Special: "Loosen the Crotch"
  • Released Feb 27, 2026 — available on YouTube via the 800 Pound Gorilla platform.
  • Title explained within the special.
• Oscar-nominated Documentary
  • “Come See Me in the Good Light” (Apple TV):
    • Follows two Denver poets, one with incurable cancer; focuses not on tragedy but celebrating life, with unexpected humor.
    • Produced by Kevin, his wife, and others.
    • Won Sundance and other film festivals.
• Art Projects
  • Kevin paints celebrity caricatures.
  • Opened his own gallery: KevinNeilonArt.com
• "Hiking with Kevin" YouTube Show
  • 170+ hikes with celebrity guests.
  • Discusses favorite LA trails, shifts after local wildfires.
  • ([04:13])

---

2. Kevin’s Unique Family History: Surprising Sibling Revelations

The 23andMe Discovery

([07:11–19:18])

• Kevin, born in St. Louis but raised in Connecticut, is the middle of five siblings, with two even younger siblings born 12 and 16 years later.
• Two years ago, through 23andMe, Kevin’s family discovered a half-brother, Dan, a month older than Kevin's sister.
  • Their father had fathered Dan during a brief relationship before marrying Kevin’s mother.
  • No one—including Dan—knew; Dan always felt different in his family.
• Family reacted with amusement and acceptance, still respecting their father’s memory.
• Dan and Kevin's family have since connected, sharing stories, photos, and even meeting in person.
• Notable quote:
  • "We were all just kind of amused by it, you know, because if you knew our father, you would never think that." — Kevin ([07:53])
• Emotional impact on Dan, who realized at 72 that his siblings were technically half-siblings.

Broader Reflections on DNA Revelations

([13:57–15:50])

• Discussion of the wider phenomenon: DNA testing uncovering long-lost siblings and family secrets.
• Comedic asides on sperm donation, genetics, and the potential for unexpected relatives.

3. Reflecting on Fatherhood and Family Dynamics

Kevin’s Late Start as a Dad

([24:01–26:38])

• Became a father at 53.
• Story of meeting his second wife (18 years younger) after his first divorce; quick connection rooted in mutual openness about wanting children.
• Their son is Kevin’s parents’ only grandchild (though their dad had more grandchildren than he knew).
• Humorous exchange:
  • "You ever lay in bed and go, let's see if I might have any kids out there...?" — Ryan ([24:20])
  • "There's a love truck somewhere in San Diego." — Kevin ([24:30])

Life Lessons from Kevin’s Father

([32:13–39:32])

• Emphasis on kindness, treating people well, always layering up in winter (!), and practical skills.
• Kevin muses about passing these lessons to his son before he goes to college (including how to use manual can openers in the age of YouTube).
• Reflections on grief, as both parents lived into their 90s and died peacefully at home.
• Notable quote:
  • "He just became very quiet... he wanted to be around us." — Kevin on his dad's dementia ([39:37])

---

4. Challenges, Anecdotes, and Memorable Mishaps in Comedy

Unexpected and Wild Club Stories

([42:08–47:28])

• Kevin recounts an "active shooter" scare during a show in his Connecticut hometown (false alarm from a gunshot nearby); chaos ensues but "the show went on" an hour later.
• Instances of bizarre audience behavior: someone throws a prosthetic leg on stage; Kevin riffs on it for laughs.
• Rat runs across stage during a set in San Francisco—audience thinks it’s part of the act.

Dealing with Medical & Emotional Emergencies at Shows

([46:23–48:45])

• Ryan shares audience stories: people fainting at his shows due to vasovagal syncope triggered by medical material; sometimes audience members pass each other down rows so they don’t miss the show.

On Security and Gun Culture in Comedy Clubs

([48:53])

• Riff on the realization that in some US states, many in the audience—and comics—are likely armed.

---

5. Family and Urban Legends: Fact-Checking

([49:05–49:44])

• Ryan quizzes Kevin about online rumors: Did Kevin really have a brother who was murdered as a child? Kevin confirms it’s untrue.
• Phone tapping story:
  • Kevin describes how his phone—and several celebrities'—was wiretapped during the Gary Shandling lawsuit, uncovered via a New York Times article.
  • Not contacted by law enforcement; main outcome was embarrassment over what was heard.
  • Notable moment:
    • "The only thing I was a little embarrassed about was if what we were talking about got back to our manager." — Kevin ([52:02])

---

6. On Belief in Signs, Ghosts, and Aliens

([54:01–54:24])

• Kevin is skeptical about signs and ghosts; his wife is a strong believer.
• Brief exchange on UFO videos—Kevin's not convinced by social media or AI images.

---

7. Animal Stories & Concert Memories

([55:00–59:25])

• Stories about dangerous animal encounters (otters, alligators) and regrettable youthful adventures.
• First concerts:
  • Ryan’s: Ozzy Osbourne and Metallica as a seventh grader ([57:46])
  • Kevin’s: The trifecta of Yes, Edgar Winter, and Eagles ([59:26])

---

8. Claustrophobia & Health Struggles

([60:19–68:53])

• Kevin traces his claustrophobia to having a full face cast made for SNL, which induced a panic attack and fainting.
  • "The last thing I remember was telling the guy, 'Take it off, take it off.' Next thing I know, I'm waking up to smelling salts." — Kevin ([61:20])
• Claustrophobia worsened, impacting subway rides, tunnels, and occasionally flights.
• Wild tale: Jeff Daniels suffered an even worse fate with a stuck face cast on SNL.
• Ryan’s own stories about tight caves and a panic-stricken MRI experience.
• Both discuss confrontation of fears; Kevin used a "Doctor Doctor" in the Valley (actual name), a phobia specialist ([69:06]), and old-school breathing bags, while Ryan found relief through EMDR therapy for anxiety and panic attacks.

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments with Timestamps

• Kevin on DNA discoveries:
  “We were all just kind of amused by it... because if you knew our father, you would never think that.” ([07:53])

• Kevin on meeting his half-brother:
  "He looks more like my father than any of us." ([19:49])

• Kevin on fatherhood:
  "I tore my bicep muscle when he was like 4. And the guy goes, well, we could fix it or leave it the way it is, but you'll lose 40% of your strength. I go, well, I want all my strength. I mean, picking him up, you know, I'm going to be throwing the ball." ([25:31])

• On family values:
  "He would just look at us and just be in wonderment..." ([39:02])

• On claustrophobia:
  "The last thing I remember was telling the guy, 'Take it off, take it off.' ... I passed out." ([61:20])

• On comedy advice:
  "Take an improv acting class... If you want to do stand-up or if you want to be in comedy, I think it's a good base." ([70:40])

---

Timestamps for Important Segments

• Introductions & Kevin’s plugs: [02:15–05:47]
• 23andMe family discovery: [07:11–19:18]
• Family reactions & dynamics: [19:18–21:07]
• Reflection on fatherhood, late parenting: [24:01–26:38]
• Lessons from Kevin’s dad: [32:13–39:32]
• Death of parents & grief: [39:32–41:03]
• Active shooter scare, onstage mishaps: [42:08–47:28]
• Phone tapping story: [49:44–54:01]
• Claustrophobia & Jeff Daniels’ mask story: [60:19–64:42]
• Comedy advice to younger self: [70:40–71:08]
• Final plugs: [71:35–71:56]

---

Final Thoughts

Ryan and Kevin’s conversation offers a clever mix of deep family revelations, warm humor about late-in-life parenting, honest discussions of mental health, and wild stories from decades on the road. The core message is one of acceptance, resiliency, and finding lightness even in life's lowlights.

Find Kevin Nealon:

• Comedy tour dates: KevinNealon.com
• Art: KevinNeilonArt.com
• “Hiking with Kevin”: YouTube
• Special “Loosen the Crotch”: YouTube (800 Pound Gorilla)
• Documentary: “Come See Me in the Good Light” (Apple TV)

---

This episode is a must-listen for comedy fans, those pondering DNA surprises, or anyone looking for the bright side in life’s unexpected twists.

Transcript

[A]

Get in the game with the college branded Venmo Debit card. Wreck your team with every tap and earn up to 5% cash back with Venmo Stash, a new rewards program from Venmo. No monthly fee, no minimum balance, just school pride and spending power. Get in the game and sign up for the Venmo debit [e-mail] collegecard. The Venmo MasterCard is issued by the Bancorp Bank N.A. select schools available. Venmo Stash terms and exclusions apply at Venmo me stash terms max $100 cash back per month. This episode is brought to you by White Claw Search.

[B]

Great podcast pick friend.

[A]

No surprises there. After all, you're all about finding the tastiest flavors out there, just like White Claw Surge.

[B]

And with big, bold flavors to enjoy

[A]

like blood orange, BlackBerry, cranberry and more, it's time to go all in on taste.

[B]

Unleash the flavor. Unleash White Claw Surge. Please drink responsibly. Hard seltzer with flavors. 8% alcohol by volume. White Claw Seltzer Works Chicago, Illinois.

[A]

Connecticut. Come see me at Comics Roadhouse. March 13th and 14th Dallas, Texas. I'm headed your way. March 27th and 28th Spokane, Washington. I'll see you guys April 3rd and 4th Buffalo, New York. I'm headed your way. I'll see you guys Friday, April 24th and Saturday, April 25th. Get your tickets now at ryancickler.com the Honeydew with Ryan Sickler. Welcome back to the Honeydew, y'.

[B]

All.

[A]

We're over here doing it in the Night Pants studios. I am Ryan Sickler. Ryan Sickler.com Ryan Sickler, on all your social media, thank you guys for supporting this show. I love it. I love sitting here highlighting low lights. And I'm very excited to have this week's guest here. New year, we're going shorter intros, y'. All. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the one and only Kevin Neal. And welcome to the Honeydew. Kevin Neal.

[B]

I didn't realize you had a studio audience here.

[A]

This is clapping you in, bro. You got to be clapped in, dude.

[B]

Yeah, I love it.

[A]

First of all, thank you so much for being here.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

Before we get into whatever we're going to talk about right there, promote everything and anything you would like.

[B]

I got so many things.

[A]

Do it.

[B]

First and foremost, I have my comedy special. It's out now. It came out on the 27th. It's called loosen the Crotch.

[A]

Is that what you want? To loosen the crotch?

[B]

Loosen the crotch and it'll be explained on the special. So you can see that on YouTube. 800 pound gorilla platform. Now if that's not enough. Okay. I have an Oscar nominated documentary that I'm executive producing.

[A]

Do you?

[B]

With my wife and several other people. Yep. It's called Come see me in the Good light. It's streaming on Apple TV right now. And. And I have, you know, I tell you this. I paint celebrity caricatures.

[A]

I know you paint.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, I do celebrity caricatures.

[A]

Wait, can I stop you for a second? What's the documentary about?

[B]

Oh, it's a love story. Basically it's about two women that live in and Denver. They're poets. One's the poet laureate, her name is Andrea Gibson. And their partner Megan Fowley. And Andrea is diagnosed with incurable cancer. And it's not about that though. It's not about surviving the cancer. It's about appreciating every minute of your life. And, and surprisingly it's funny. It's really funny. So I'm really excited about that, really happy about that. And we just woke up last week and got the news and. And that was exciting.

[A]

Hell yeah.

[B]

Because it won Sundance and it won a lot of film festivals.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

So, yeah. So I do the character paintings and people are always asking, where can we buy your paintings? You know, And I finally opened up a shop online. It's Kevin Nealonart.com and they could find it there. But let's not forget the most important thing. You still awake?

[A]

I'm right here. Brother. Dialed in. I'm tapped in.

[B]

Of course. I've been doing my show hiking with

[A]

Kevin for about five or six years.

[B]

I've done about 170 hikes.

[A]

You do run, you know, all the time?

[B]

No, haven't done running in a while. I'm not a fan of running. It's too doggy urony dog a lot. It's crowded too.

[A]

Where do you go? Are you.

[B]

I go everywhere, you know.

[A]

You ever go to Fryman Canyon?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, I do Fry from the top, from the bottom. I do the. I do the rainforest trail, which is nice.

[A]

I don't know that. Oh, you mean up there, the, the, the tree people thing over there?

[B]

No.

[A]

Oh, no, no.

[B]

It's on the other side of the tree people. It goes down this little valley and it is like a rainforest. It's beautiful. Canopied.

[A]

It's right time. And I know, you know, I just

[B]

discovered about a year and a half ago, so I do a lot of those trails. But you know, I used to do a lot in the Palisades until the fires.

[A]

So I lost. Was my favorite.

[B]

Five or six. My favorite too.

[A]

That's my favorite.

[B]

That was my favorite.

[A]

Gone. Oh, it's gone.

[B]

That's gone. Yeah. It'll be back though. In fact, I was hiking in Will Rogers State park with Bill Burr and during my little intro I do. And I was talking about the trees, how beautiful they were. And I said, can you believe these trees are still here? 20, 25 or whatever it was. Yeah, it's an amazing. They're still here. And then within three days they were gone. Gone. Yeah.

[A]

So recapping new special. Loosen the crotch special.

[B]

Loosen the crotch.

[A]

It's on YouTube now.

[B]

800 pound gorilla. We have got the Come see me in a good light. Is the Oscar nominated.

[A]

And where can we see that?

[B]

Apple TV.

[A]

Apple TV.

[B]

Yep. And we've got the Art Store. Kevin Nealon art.com. and we have Hiking with Kevin on YouTube.

[A]

Boom, boom.

[B]

That's it, man. Is that enough?

[A]

That's more than enough.

[B]

You know it, man. People could just zip right through that and get right to the interview.

[A]

Well, I've been small talking to you over here a little bit, chatting you up and it's been more than small talk, I should say. And you're 72 now, which blows me away. You look great.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

You said you've been doing comedy for. Let me do the math here. 46 years. Because that's. I'm 52. You were started when I in first grade.

[B]

Yeah. I'm just 20 years older than you, so don't think you know more than me today.

[A]

I know, but what I want to know is. Let's you so better. So where are you from originally? And tell me about your. I grew up.

[B]

Well, originally I was born in St. Louis, Missouri. Only lived there for three weeks. Three weeks. Hated the place. Got in the car and I split. No, my father graduated from slu, Saint Louis University and he got a job in Connecticut. And this is true. I was born in a hospital called the Incarnate Word on Grant street or Grant Avenue, whatever it's called, that closed. It's, I think a hotel now. So I could stay in that hotel in the original room where I was born and asked them to set up a crib.

[A]

Imagine you dying in that room and you come and go in the same room. Wow.

[B]

The portal.

[A]

How about that? The portal right there, man. So are you the oldest or.

[B]

No, I'm the middle.

[A]

You are.

[B]

I'm the middle. I was the youngest For a long time. And then my parents, same parents, 12 years later, had a daughter, my sister, and a brother 16 years later.

[A]

Wait, not twins. At 12. They did 12. And then again at 16 years later.

[B]

Yes. So for you, there was five of us. Me, two brothers, two sisters. And then we found out that we have a half brother about two years ago. Lives in San Diego about an hour and 45.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

This.

[A]

I keep. People sit on these shows with me all the time now with all the. The DNA and everything. I keep hearing more and more of this is it blow. I mean, also, you could have died and not ever known that. How the does that even enter your world?

[B]

Well, my sister found out about it on 23andMe, which I thought was a dating site for a long time. And. And she was kind of hesitant to tell us. She didn't know how we would react to it because we, you know, we worship our father. We still do after all this. But when she told us, we were all just kind of amused by it, you know, because if you knew our father, you would never think that. And he wasn't married at the time. It was. He had just gotten back from okinawa, he was 19, whatever. And he was a good looking guy. He lived in the Bronx, all the ladies loved him. And he was in love with my mother, who was working as a secretary for general at the Pentagon at the time.

[A]

Damn.

[B]

Yeah, so. And also go to the modeling school. So she was kind of going after her career. So he was writing her every day. Come home. Come on, I'm back, let's go. And. And she was a little, you know, dragging her feet a little bit. So I guess one night the family that across the street, they grew up across the street from the mother of. Well, not the mother, but I don't want to make this sound complicated, but the woman that came over, they had a one night stand. She had been in a fight with her husband. And my father was kind of mourning the loss of his brother who died in Korea. So they hooked up, she got pregnant and she didn't know it, of course, went back to her husband, our family. And my mother came back and he took my mother and they went up to Maine, got married, and then went to St. Louis where he went to school. And she was pregnant with my sister. Right. But since we found my brother, he's a month older than my sister. So she got pregnant a month before my mother came back. And then I think my mother got pregnant. Well, a month after that.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

So nobody knew about it her whole family didn't know his whole family.

[A]

That's what I'm saying. So that this poor bastard thinks he's. I shouldn't even say bastard because we know what we're talking about. But this poor husband, the whole times, thinks this son is his and it's not.

[B]

But he always felt like a black sheep in the family and he looks more like my father than he do. Yeah.

[A]

Did he know though? Did he ever put it together?

[B]

Nobody knew. My parents never knew. Apparently the father, Joe, never knew and the mother, of course knew, sort of, because the woman, the daughter, my niece found out about it and got a hold of my sister and, and confronted her grandmother and said, graham, I want to know, I want the truth. What do you know about Emma? Do you think you could have had a child with him? Well, we were together one night, so I don't know, but I think she did know. But now here's where some people find it complicated.

[A]

Building a great wardrobe comes down to finding pieces that feel good, mix well and last. And that is exactly what you get with Quince. With premium fabrics and well thought designs, they make everyday essentials that feel great and are dependable even as the seasons change. We're kind of in that weird weather right now where it starts off cool in the morning, but then it's either hot or raining by the afternoon. Quintess flow knit breeze. Long sleeve tea has been a staple for me. It looks sharp, it's not stiff and suffocating and it fits what I'm doing. Whether it's work errands or weekend cheer tournaments. Quince works directly with top factories and cuts out the middlemen. So you're paying for quality, not just some brand markup. Their clothing is rated between 4.5 and 5 stars by thousands of people wearing it every day. And they only partner with factories that meet rigorous standards for craftsmanship and ethical production. Stop over complicating your wardrobe. You don't need a closet full of options. You need a few pieces that actually work right now. Go to quints.comhoneydew for free shipping and 365 day returns. That's a four full year to build your wardrobe and love it. And you will now available in Canada too. Don't keep settling for clothes that don't last. Go to q-u I n c e.com honeydew for free shipping and 365 day returns. Quints.com honeydew this episode is brought to you by State Farm. Listening to this podcast Smart move being financially savvy Smart move. Another smart move. Having State Farm help you create a competitive price when you choose to bundle home and auto bundling. Just another way to save with a

[B]

personal price plan like a good neighbor.

[A]

State Farm is there. Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts and savings and eligibility vary by state.

[B]

My father, his brother, who was killed in Korea, was married. Follow me so far to this woman's sister.

[A]

Got it.

[B]

So when my brother was growing up.

[A]

This is a familiar lady to your dad. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

They would go to reunions together or, you know, little family things. And my brother would see my father at these things and he loved him. He thought, this guy is cool. This guy is cool. It was my father. It was his father.

[A]

And that's fucking crazy. That's crazy.

[B]

And isn't it crazy? I know this is. A lot of people are experiencing this now with all the.

[A]

Yeah, and that's. But real quick, too. So someone in the family tree at some point has got to put some kind of DNA or something to get this all going, right?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You don't have your info up on there, so who.

[B]

I do have my info up there.

[A]

Oh, really? Is that how she was able to connect it then?

[B]

Well, she. Apparently she tried to get a hold of me first, and I don't really check that stuff.

[A]

But how? Because you do have your info, but if you don't, then they have no idea.

[B]

They don't know.

[A]

Is there any other way to been connected if you didn't have your. Does anyone else in the family?

[B]

My sister. That's who she got a hold of.

[A]

All right. That's who she went to.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, but. But yeah, I mean, it's. It's.

[A]

So how many.

[B]

How many other kids are out there, though? Because he was stationed in France for a while with the merchant marines. Their ship got a crack in the hull, so they were there for seven months till the ship got fixed. He was in Okinawa. I see old home movies, you know, the. You know, the black and white and there's geisha girls in the back walking by with the fans, you know, I don't know. I don't know. There's got to be. I think for a lot of people, there's got to be.

[A]

We do a Patreon show here called the Honeydew with you all, where it's this show with the fans. It's the greatest show ever. We had a lady come on here who submitted her info into 23andMe or one of these sites and they found out that she. She knew she was a, you know, a donate. She was a sperm donor. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Well, you're only all sperm donors.

[B]

Aren't we?

[A]

I get we are, man. I looked into it when I was younger and you can only donate sperm two times in a certain mile radius because although it's not people can shoot it that far. It's possible.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

That those two people could meet.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

In breed unknown to them. Right, right. So you can't populate an area. Well, this fucking guy did. No, he went to a clinic. I think it was in San Francisco. And at the time she was on with us. Kirsten, was it like 40 people, siblings? And they kept popping up because this guy, they weren't supposed to take the samples, but they did. And he just kept going weekly. But his argument was he was Jewish from the Holocaust and he wanted to keep the Jewish bloodline going. So he went and did. And she was up to 55 at the time. Like I. Here I am thinking I have no siblings and I've got this army out there. So there's a very good chance. A bunch of 19 year old guys back then.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Kids all over the place.

[B]

I could have grandkids.

[A]

You could. Dude, wait, let's. Hold on, let's talk about your dad, because I asked you outside, your dad, you say he's alive?

[B]

No, no, he passed at what age? 92.

[A]

How long was that?

[B]

He would be 100 now.

[A]

So he, he never got to find out about this?

[B]

Never found out.

[A]

He never got to find it?

[B]

I don't, you know, I don't think so. I mean, from what I've heard now I'm not sure about his father though, because whenever there was an event, his father, if you knew my father was going, he wouldn't go. So maybe that's something there. Maybe he did know.

[A]

But when did he find. When did the actual. Your, your.

[B]

Okay, well, that's a good question. Two years ago he found out. He was notified and it was devastating for him because he woke up one morning realizing that his siblings, his four siblings, weren't his real siblings. Oh, he's got his full siblings. Yeah. And then our family was, you know, half brothers and sisters too. So when you wake up and believing that, you know, everything you believed in is wrong, you know, it's kind of destroyed.

[A]

Yeah. Not 10, 11, 12. You got a time.

[B]

So he says, you know, after we started communicating, email and started talking and then we eventually saw him, but he would, he would email me and he go, kim, I know you're a big celebrity and stuff, so I'm going to keep this on the down low because, you know, I'm sure you don't want the paparazzi. I said, dan, I don't worry about the paparazzi. In fact, go ahead, get it out there. Get it out there.

[A]

How old is he?

[B]

He's 74.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

He's a month older than myself.

[A]

And does he himself when he finds out Kevin Nealance is happy? You know damn well he knew who you were. He's not like in a bubble, like, oh, my God.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Can you imagine your whole life being a lie? And then also you're a crab. You know what I mean? He wasn't a fan.

[B]

He showed me two times.

[A]

Man, that's wild.

[B]

It is wild, man. And I've heard about other people finding that, you know, they have half brothers and sisters. And I thought, man, that'll never happen to me because if you knew my father, it just. And like I said, he wasn't married at the time, but, you know, it was a. It was a close. A close call. And I don't think I would be here now if he found out or my mother found out. Yeah, I would be somebody's half brother.

[A]

And everyone in the family is. Is your mom still alive?

[B]

No, she died at 92 as well.

[A]

And did she ever know?

[B]

No, no, no. Nobody knew. Nobody knew. But, you know, he would be. I think he would be. You know, there's a question too. Is, is it better to have left it unsaid or to get it out there? And I think it is better to get it out there.

[A]

I. I'm with you.

[B]

You know, especially, I think my father would have liked to have known at one point, you know, and also, of course, my brother Dan would like to have been. Hang out with him and get to know him a little bit. And you guys and us, yeah, I mean, we were all. It's funny, we're sending him same age. Like, yeah, same, like, could have been.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But we're sending him, like, pictures of us on vacations. Like we lived in Europe for a while. Great. My father, you know, we're having bread in France. Where is he? I know. And he's like, in the Bronx somewhere, I guess. And. But it would have been nice to have grown all grown up together. But he's. But now he's really happy. He's really happy being.

[A]

You've met him in person, right?

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Do you see physical similarities? Do you like the way The Farley brothers are. Do you see any of the characteristics of you or your siblings in him? I know you didn't spend a lot of time maybe, but do you see any of that?

[B]

I've spent a lot of time.

[A]

Do you look at him, be like, that's funny.

[B]

You know what? How I look at him? I look at him like, I've seen. Like, he's an uncle of mine. Like, I used to see my uncles at reunions, and they would be, you know, his age. And I thought, he kind of looks like my uncles, but he looks more like my father than any of us.

[A]

He does.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

And he's crazy when you first see him like that.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. And he grew up in the Bronx, too, so he's got, like, my father's kind of accent, you know, but, yeah, he's a great guy. He's a nice guy. And we try to spend time together whenever we go down to San Diego. The first time he came to San Diego to meet me, we had dinner, him and his. His wife, who is also my half sister. That's crazy, isn't it? He doesn't know. He doesn't know. So anyway, he came to. We joined him for dinner, and he brought a handkerchief because he thought he'd be crying, you know, but. But he wasn't.

[A]

But also, man, you're sitting there, I don't give a fuck. I'd be with my wife. Like, do you believe Kevin Nealon's my mother fucking. All this time. All this time. There's not enough years left for that poor dude to process everything that could have been. What. I mean, that's a lot to unpack.

[B]

A lot of pictures we send him and history, you know, it's.

[A]

Is there ever anything with his mom and your dad, like, you know, you said they used to go to the things. Are there any photos of his mom and your dad together anywhere at all?

[B]

I. He might have some from the reunions. I would like to see one of him and my father. But it is. It is interesting when sitting down, we're talking about my father and he's calling him dad. Someone that I didn't grow up with, calling my father dad.

[A]

Yeah, but it is true.

[B]

It is true. It was weird at first. It was like, hey, that's not you. Oh, yeah, it is, actually, dad. Yeah.

[A]

It's also interesting that, again, I'm going back. I'm sorry. To the Tommy boy thing where he has the scene with Rob Lowe, and instantly he's. We're stepbrothers. Instantly. He loves it. This guy is calling your dad dad without ever growing up with him being dad or having a, a hug or a moment or any core memory. And he's dad. That's interesting to me that his dad wasn't dad. And this is.

[B]

Well, he might have been. You know, he might have been. He calls. Just so we separate the two, he calls his dad Joe because that's his name.

[A]

That's not his dad.

[B]

It is that. Well, he spent more time with Joe than my father. But I think they did have moments at these little reunions or get togethers. He would see my father and go, oh, this guy's cool.

[A]

All right. So your dad did meet his son. Not knowing at all. Exactly. Thinking it's a what nephew or just somebody.

[B]

Well, from the people across the street, you know, the son of the person across the street. Yeah, it's pretty crazy.

[A]

That would with me if I as the, the kid too, like, oh my God, I actually did have the.

[B]

I. I would be regretful that I wasn't able to hang out with him.

[A]

Yeah, because your dad sound like a great dad. I don't think he'd want to abandon this kid. I feel like if he knew, he'd absolutely want. Do you think that would have destroyed your parents marriage?

[B]

Probably, yeah. Like I said, I wouldn't be here right now. Yeah. But you know what?

[A]

Close your eyes, exhale, Feel your body relax and let go of whatever you're carrying today.

[B]

Well, I'm letting go of the worry that I wouldn't get my new contacts in time for this class. I got them delivered free from 1-800-contacts. Oh my gosh, they're so fast.

[A]

And breathe. Oh, sorry.

[B]

I almost couldn't breathe when I saw

[A]

the discount they gave me on my first order.

[B]

Oh, sorry. Namaste.

[A]

Visit 1-800-contacts.com today to save on your first order. 1-800-contacts. The new Chicken Bacon Ranch Street Chalupa is at Taco Bell. You can't get just one. Okay, so that's not like some marketing hyperbole. You literally can't get just one. They come in twos. So like, if you want just one, you're going to need to find a friend who loves slow roasted chicken bacon and avocado ranch sauce. Or a friend of a friend. Or have an awkward conversation with a complete stranger to see if they're obsessed with chicken bacon and avocado ranch. Or you could just like eat them both because you're obsessed with slow roasted chicken bacon. Okay, you get the idea. The new chicken Bacon Ranch Street Chalup is a Taco Bell. Participating Taco Bell US locations for a limited time while supplies last.

[B]

It is what it is. As they say. As they say.

[A]

But you're a dad now.

[B]

I am a dad.

[A]

And you said before we started recording, you started off as an older dad. How old were you when you became.

[B]

I was 53 year older than you. Yeah, yeah, 53.

[A]

And that was your first being a dad? Probably. Probably. We'll see. You got your out online now. They're coming for you, bro.

[B]

Do you ever lay in bed and go, let's see if I might have any kids out there. Let's see, there was so and so from San Diego. There was that girl in the love truck.

[A]

And the Love truck.

[B]

It was a love truck. It used to be called Love Truck. I think it was a Toyota. That was the model. There's a flatbed in the back. You know what I mean? So you go through them all and mine was always like, no, that's. But it's possible.

[A]

No, not for you.

[B]

Are you married?

[A]

No.

[B]

So it still could be possible.

[A]

No, no, no. I need to get fixed.

[B]

He's still broken.

[A]

I'm broken, bro. I'll always be broken even if I get fixed.

[B]

You don't want to be married.

[A]

I want to be married, but I'm done. I'm. I have an 11 year old daughter.

[B]

Oh, you do?

[A]

Yeah. And her brother is, they're, they're half siblings, but her brother's 22 and we're very close. I've known him since he was 6, so I've gotten. I don't want. Yeah, yeah. And no offense, I, I think about it, I've thought about it before. Like if I had a kid right now, starting all over again in my 50s. I don't, I don't think I have the knees or the back for it. You know what I mean?

[B]

Oh, I do know what you mean. I do. I. I tore my bicep muscle when he was like 4. And the guy goes, well, we could fix it or leave it the way it is, but you'll lose 40% of your strength. I go, well, I want all my strength. I mean, picking him up, you know, I'm going to be throwing the ball.

[A]

How'd you tear it?

[B]

I was playing basketball at Gary Shandling's house. We would have a basketball games up there on Sundays. And I went to intercept the pass and bring another time like. And then like, you know, two years later, I'm lifting the couch from my other hand, trying to pull a cord out from under the leg and bang on that one. I knew exactly what it was. So. But here's the thing. I always wanted kids. I always.

[A]

Why'd you wait so long?

[B]

Because I was married once before. She wanted kids, but then after two years, she decided she didn't want kids.

[A]

I see.

[B]

Because my parents were married so long, and, you know, for good times and bad time, I stayed. I stayed with it, and I should have left.

[A]

How much longer did you stay?

[B]

Eight or nine years. But. But, yeah, So I always wanted a kid and so.

[A]

Can I ask you a personal question?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

When you divorce, I'm assuming from your first wife.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Are you looking to be a dad? Are you looking for a partner to have a child at that moment? Is that a goal or is this still. Hey, if I meet the right person, it happens. Great.

[B]

If I meet the right person. And that's what I was getting to. I was. I was shooting a show at the time. I was the host of it. And my friend John Henson was doing a talk show pilot. He said, would you be a guest on here? We're gonna do it with Kevin James and Ray Romano. There'll be three of you. I said, sure. So I got there late because I had to finish up my show. And I come over to the studio, and I go in the makeup trailer, and there's a girl sitting there. And on the way over, I was thinking, I wonder if I'm ever going to be a father. You know, I hear about, you know, you think about single women and single actresses adopting a kid, but you never really hear about a single guy or

[A]

had you considered it or.

[B]

I was thinking about it.

[A]

You know, I was being a single dad who adopted.

[B]

I was thinking about it not. Not too heavily, but. So I get in the trailer and it's been three years since my divorce, and that's why I'm, you know, I'm getting older. And I always thought it at that point right then, I was probably around 49, 40, 47, 48. And so I go in there and I see her sitting in the chair. She's the comedic correspondence on the show. And they're running way behind, as they do. And I said hi to her when I came in. My makeup artist is sitting, like two or three chairs down. No one else is in the place. And I say hi to her and loud enough for her to hear, I said, you know, you hear about single actor actresses and single women adopting a kid. Can a single guy adopt a child? And she went, it told her everything right there. She even thought that was the best pickup line.

[A]

I know a guy that did it.

[B]

Really?

[A]

I used to work with a writer, and he did it okay. He really did. He adopted a little boy and he loves it.

[B]

Oh, that's great.

[A]

That's his thing.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So we have one man I've ever known that done. That's done that solo.

[B]

I know, right?

[A]

So right away, she's like, this guy's a honey pot right here. This dude wants kids, loves kids, needs love, needs all. He's dying to be loved.

[B]

It happened quickly. You know, we. We hung out for. That whole evening was there waiting to put her on right there. I was already finished. I could have gone home, but we're laughing, hanging out, and then I carry her stuff to a car with her and I said, hey, you want to come out? We're all getting drinks afterwards. She goes, I wish I could, but I got to get up early in the morning. She didn't have to get up early. She had to go home and break up with her boyfriend.

[A]

No.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

She told you that later?

[B]

Yeah. And she called her mother. She goes right away, I just met the man I'm going to marry.

[A]

She said that's how she told her boyfriend, her mother.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

I was like.

[B]

Well, they had like an. It was more of like a friends with benefit thing. And they always had an agreement. Somebody meets somebody, it'd be over. So. But he wasn't ready for it to be over, I guess. But anyway, so she told her mother, and I went home and I told my wife. I said, hon, I just missed it. But, yeah, it worked out great. And I was still a little hesitant about getting into another relationship, even though I wanted to.

[A]

And if you don't have to say. How old was she?

[B]

She is 18 years younger than me.

[A]

Okay, so you're 47. 36. So she's early 30s. So she's all right.

[B]

She's got. Sure.

[A]

She's maybe not feeling the biological tick, so. So to speak. So I don't know yet at that

[B]

point, she might have been. Because, you know, her ear just perked up when I said about the baby. But. But, yeah, it worked out great. And we've been married now for. We've been together for 24 years.

[A]

Wow, congrats. How long did it take to have your child? You're older, so. To take you.

[B]

Well, it took. Well, see, we got married and. About a year. Yeah. And that was trying. Like, every five minutes.

[A]

And what was that like?

[B]

What, trying?

[A]

No, having. Being a dad it was great. And your dad and mom are still with you at the time?

[B]

They are so excited because that's their only grandchildren at this point.

[A]

Oh, you're grandchild. Oh, you're the first one.

[B]

What he didn't know is that his son had five.

[A]

Nah, that's kids.

[B]

So he had six grandchildren.

[A]

Jesus.

[B]

Yeah, so I didn't feel so bad.

[A]

Wait, do your kids now all know their kid? Like, is everybody starting to sort of introduce each other into the webs of families?

[B]

Dan still hasn't met my wife or my son or one of my sisters, I think. But we're having a little reunion this summer. So I think that'll be. But they're great. The husband and wife are great. And they have a mountain house up near Idlewild. Looks beautiful.

[A]

I've never been there. Everyone tells me, I don't want how beautiful it is. Yeah, my buddy Jim goes there all the time.

[B]

Yeah, that's great.

[A]

She loves it.

[B]

Does she?

[A]

The dogs. The mayor of the town's a dog.

[B]

Oh, really?

[A]

Yeah, Yeah.

[B]

I like it because I used to be an Elvis Presley fan. And Kid Galahad, one of the movies he shot was up there. He's a boxer in the ring. So whenever I hear about Idle. Well, I think a Kid Galahad. That's right, baby.

[A]

I watched. I just saw a clip yesterday of Elvis where some lady was trying to get him to talk about, you know, Vietnam and all that of their era time. And he just said, I'm just entertainment man. Honey. Actually called her honey. Actually, Honey, I'm just entertaining.

[B]

Don't you call me honey. Yeah, yeah. I always wonder what. Well, I guess he went into the service. That was before Vietnam, you know.

[A]

So when your dad passes, what are the lessons you're teaching your son?

[B]

Well, the lessons that my father taught me.

[A]

Which are what about?

[B]

Well, funny. It's funny you should ask that because I'm thinking, what are the little things I haven't taught him before he goes off to college? You know, it's like all of a sudden, last minute. Okay, what. What happened? I talked. Oh, my God. Little things like how to hang a picture on the wall, right? And one of them was how to. Do you know how to open up a can with a can opener? A manual can opener.

[A]

Like old school.

[B]

Yeah, the ones we. I grew up.

[A]

Tuna or something.

[B]

He goes, yeah, sure, I know how to use that. I said, really? Okay, here's a can of baked beans. Let me. Show me how you open that. And he's fumbling with it. He doesn't know how to do it. I said, let me show you how to do it. Like, it's very easy. You just clamp it onto here and you just turn that. Turn that all the way around. And then it's open. He goes, okay, got it. Thank you. I said, okay, I'm gonna. Here's another can of beans. Here's a can opener. I'll be back in 10 minutes. I want to see that open. I gave him a lot of time.

[A]

That's a lot.

[B]

He could open five. If he was really cool, he would open five of them. So he. I leave and I come back, you know, 10 minutes later, and he's got the laptop open to a YouTube tutorial showing. Come on.

[A]

For the can opener.

[B]

And then I realized I don't need to show him anything. He's got the YouTube.

[A]

He's got parents on the Internet now. I learned how to tie the Cadillac and knots Double Windsor on YouTube.

[B]

I do everything. And I'll tell you what I use now is chat gbt. Any question I have, you know, how do I get, you know, how would I find files, you know, on my phone?

[A]

Boom. Done.

[B]

It's pretty crazy.

[A]

So getting back to the lessons your dad taught you about death. You were saying, I'm teaching myself. Like, trying to cram it in what's what. When is your dad teaching you about death? Is he.

[B]

He's teaching as we're growing up. As we're.

[A]

I mean, are prominent people in the family passing? Are you talking to him about his passing?

[B]

No, no. I mean, you know, he. He set examples growing up. Like, he showed us how to treat people nicely, be kind. Like, he was always worried about homeless people when it's cold out, you know, he just feel really bad. Or if somebody that we knew was young and died and he would just get. He really had a lot of compassion for people, and he was a great. There's a world where legends race across city skylines. Romance blossoms in glittering ballrooms. And there's magic around every corner. It's a world known to many as Great Britain. You've seen the action on screen. Now visit the real star of the show. Visit Great Britain. To discover more, go to tripadvisor.com Great Britain want consistent color for every job? Milo's Pro rewards members get a 20% paint discount on future purchases after paint annual qualifying spend reaches $3,000 plus order eligible in stock paint and paint supplies by 2pm for free. Same day delivery by 8pm improving is easy at lows. Exclude includes spray paint and Mistints more exclusions. Terms and conditions apply. Subject to change details@lowe's.com terms same day delivery valid and select zip codes. Subject to driver availability details@lowe's.com Sameday delivery mechanic. That's not what he did as a living. He was an aeronautical engineer. Oh, wow. So he taught me how to build airplanes, you know, at home and how an airplane works, why it flies. Told me, you know, he showed me how to, you know, do things, build stone walls and pour cement, you know, And I remember he would always. Back to Tracing was the answer for everything.

[A]

I can't even with you. I love you right now.

[B]

You know what I mean? Back to Tracy.

[A]

I can't. You just hit a core memory for me, dude. Middle school, we had a. I shouldn't say her name. Her name was Ms. Farver, though. She was the middle school nurse.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And there were two answers she had. There was one answer for everyone, and there was one answer for girls. We're in middle school. You go in. It wasn't even as big as this office. Behind it, she sat like you are. Behind this woman was a mountain of Tampax. Not hidden. A mountain getting ready for every girl in middle school who's about to hit this. And the other thing she had was bassistrace. It didn't matter. You go in, you're like, I cut this. My tooth got knocked out. Bass. Put some bass traces. I haven't heard someone say bassistrace.

[B]

Back to tracing. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. That was their Neosport.

[B]

You could use that as lubricant. You could use it for anything. I can't even believe it.

[A]

I haven't heard that term for so long.

[B]

And you know what? My parents never swore.

[A]

Really.

[B]

Nobody swore in our family growing up. And to this day, I don't swear in front of my kid, but my wife occasionally will swear. But. So he knows me as a guy who doesn't swear, you know, so he doesn't swear. And I did my special where I, you know, I think I. I used like three or four curse words throughout the whole thing, but it wasn't, like, in a bad way. And afterwards. And I felt odd because he was watching it, and I felt a little self conscious. He goes, dad, you said some bad words up there. I said, yeah, just couple. But, you know, I don't typically say that, you know, so. But that's the way standup is, too, when you. Well, you're not married. But when my wife comes to the show, I'm self conscious that she's there. So I might Change bits a little bit. Not that she would be offended and same with her kid, but they hardly ever come because my wife worries that I'm going to bomb or I'll be canceled, which I would be the last person for that to happen.

[A]

Yeah, he definitely would.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. But yeah, so back to tracing was a big one. And being kind to people. And also he was all about layering. He loved to layer in the winter.

[A]

Okay. Dress is what I thought.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah. So if we were going to a formal thing with a tuxedo, I'd have another tuxedo underneath that exact.

[A]

Dude, no, you did not.

[B]

No, but seriously, it was all about the layering. And whenever we got a jacket or a coat, it had to be like two sizes bigger so we could wear sweaters, layer it and stuff, you know, so these are all coming, coming back to me right now. Also, he was a smoker and he had a lot of big time.

[A]

And he got into his 90s.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah.

[A]

And that's a man that lived hard. We're talking about Okinawa. We're talking about a brother who was killed over there. Yeah, cigarettes when they were fucking Lucky Strikes with no filters and shit.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

An era where they're telling cool and good for you.

[B]

Also working in a factory. Oh, you know, he ran a factory.

[A]

Hell, did he make it into his 90s?

[B]

You know what, it's his, his attitude, you know, he loved people. He loved us. When he retired, I said, dad, you got to get some hobbies. He goes, well, you guys are my hobbies, you know, and he would just look at us and just be in wonderment just looking at us. He loved us so much. And then when I had my child, he was just. I look at the pictures now, I can see so much love coming from him just looking at that, that, the way he looks at all of us, you know, so he really was a great role model. He. He really set some nice examples. And did you.

[A]

What, what did he pass from?

[B]

He passed from. It's dementia, I think Alzheimer's. But we were very lucky with our parents because it was a gradual going out. Like he kind of slowly got dementia, but it wasn't one of those crazy dementias or Alzheimer's. He just became very quiet, you know, he wanted to be with us too. He wanted to be around us. And my mother had multiple myeloma cancer, which is a slow moving cancer. So they both died in the same room where they lived, but you know, six years apart. So we were all with them.

[A]

First dad, first dad first.

[B]

So we were with them and with my mother. In fact, I was with my father until that night. I had to drive to West Palm Beach. They lived in Fort Myers because I had a gig, I think the improv over there. So I left knowing that I probably wouldn't see him again, but I knew he would want me to go and do this club. That's the way he was. He goes, you gotta do it. Go ahead and just do it. We're fine. So I left and I did it. And when I got there, my brother called, said he passed. So it was not easy doing that show that night.

[A]

Bring it up in a way.

[B]

I did. I did at the end. But that. That was really tough. But I find when I get on stage, I don't know if you do this, but it is a bubble. It's an escape. It's an escape room up there. I've gone through breakups where I was devastated and I got on stage and I was out of it.

[A]

I can't explain it either. I absolutely probably, you know, professionally, I'm my freestyle.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

There. I don't. I mean, even when my daughter's mom and I were splitting and I'm losing my kid and I'm freaking the out, I could get on stage for an hour and not think about it. And I don't know why. I don't know. I can't explain it. And I've also learned too, like, you don't always need to know why. The more I try to figure it out, the more I'm probably gonna that up.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I don't know what it is about being there, but yeah, I'm with you for that amount of time. But doesn't run through my head.

[B]

It has. Having done this for so long, I can think of two different things at the same time on stage. Like, I could be doing my act and I'll be thinking, okay, I got another episode of Succession coming up tonight. Oh, I can't wait to find out what happens to Logan. You know what I mean? And the whole thing is I can't wait to get back to the hotel room.

[A]

You know, I'm that too. I'm also. Where are the fire exits in this place in case goes down? Oh, I always. I'm always scanning, looking for those eggs.

[B]

Let me tell you about that. So I go back to my hometown. There's a comedy club there. Bridgeport, Connecticut. I can't believe it. There's a comedy club in my town where I grew up wanting to do stand up, wanting to Go to the Improv. Because that's, like, one of the only comedy clubs in the country now. There's one in my hometown. So a couple years ago, I go there, and I do the first show on Saturday. And then I'm in the green room. There's a hallway that comes from the main room past the green room. I hear a stampede outside. People are screaming. They're running. I open up the door. I go, what's going on? People are running by. There's a woman getting trampled on the ground trying to. You know. And somebody goes, active shooter in the room. I go, what? I don't know what it is, but I don't. Things don't affect me too much, you know, I think because I'm really dead inside, you know, it helps, I think.

[A]

So it does help.

[B]

And I said, okay, active shooter. I should probably just casually. I should probably just jump into the stream of people, let them kind of carry me out. So I go outside. I didn't even tell the opener they was in the green room. I just shut the door. But so I get outside, and I go down to this parking garage, a little downhill ramp. And there's a big green dumpster at the bottom of the ramp. And I go, well, I think I'll hide behind that. It's a big metal thing. So I go around, and the bartender's there. She's about ready to crawl into the garbage. I say, you don't got to go yet. You keep an eye out, you know? So anyway, it turns out there wasn't a active shooter. It was a guy across the street in the front of the club in a park, shooting off a gun with his buddy or something. You know, they were drunk, so somebody heard the pop, pop, and everybody's on edge, so somebody yelled, active shooter.

[A]

They yelled, active shooter.

[B]

Yeah, and it's like yelling, fire in a theater. So everybody tipped over their tables. I went to that showroom afterwards. It looked like the Titanic ballroom. I mean, broken glass. Every tables were flipped over. And then there was a discussion. Are we gonna have the second show?

[A]

What are you talking. Did they.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

No. Come on, dude.

[B]

They flipped that room back half an hour. I mean, an hour later, they started an hour late. And then half of the audience was there. And, you know, it was interesting. You know, some people are saying, don't do it. Don't do it. But all the cops are there. And so I've had a lot of, like. I'm sure you've had a lot of crazy things happen on stage.

[A]

Nothing like that?

[B]

No way.

[A]

Nothing like that.

[B]

I had a guy throw up a prosthetic leg once on stage.

[A]

They hit you with it?

[B]

No, but it was big.

[A]

I like the whole knee down or the whole.

[B]

No, from the thigh down. And it had.

[A]

That's like two hands.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, it had a. It had a wool sock and a hiking boot. It was in Denver.

[A]

Did one of his buddies do it as a joke?

[B]

No, he. He did it. He did it. And I said, who threw that leg up here? I said, hop up here. Get your leg. He didn't come up. Get the out.

[A]

Did you give it. How did you give it back?

[B]

So what I did was I set it up on the stool. Yeah, we did a forensic on it. I said, okay, looks like this leg comes from probably a guy and clean shaven, and he weighs about 310 pounds. And he threw. He threw it up there because I had a joke. I said, you know, I grew up. I had a dog. He was half German shepherd. And. And that's it. He was in a wheelchair. So the guy first was like. Another time. I had about 10 minutes away from finishing. I was at a club in San Francisco, and people are dropping their forks. Then they're going, oh, my God. And I looked to the side of the stage. It's a big rat. I mean, a big size of a cat that looked like a purebred had. It was like white with a little brown under their neck. And it ran all the way across the back of the stage. And people were just going crazy. It ran under the curtain into the kitchen. And then all of a sudden it came zipping out under my feet into the audience. And you could tell where that rat was because people were jumping up on the tables, wherever it was, and people actually thought that was a prop that I brought with me.

[A]

Oh, they were like, the comedian fucking put this here. Like Kevin Nealon.

[B]

Yeah, I travel with the rat.

[A]

Who's fucking doing that?

[B]

Yeah, yeah. So I've had a lot of experiences like that. And lately a lot of people, you know, my audiences are getting older, so people are collapsing and falling.

[A]

Okay, I've had that. You have what? I. So my daughter has this thing I've learned called vasal vagal syncope. And what it is is she is terrified of needles, blood, any of that shit, and she'll pass out.

[B]

Oh, just looking at it. Yeah.

[A]

Hearing it. Hearing it freaks her out.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So Kirsten used to go with me on tour and she'd sell merch and stuff, and I'd be at these shows Talking about my last special was about this near death experience I had and the health complications, all this. And I'm realizing as I'm talking, at least like the first three or four shows we had people collapse. One lady was taken out in an ambulance. Another hearing your story, just listening to these stories and I'm realizing like, oh, these people probably have what my daughter has as they're hearing it. They're slumping in their chair. Chairs. And we had at least three ambulances called and took out. But my favorite was side splitters shout out. Side splitters in Tampa. The lady. I could hear the commotion. But I also like to give it a minute because, you know, some people don't know how to order quietly. Yeah, you ever, you know, I'll take the. And you want to say, what the are you doing? You're like, oh, they're just ordering, but they're just.

[B]

Okay. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

But I hear this commotion back, right back here and seeing people move and. And after the show, they're like, did you know about the lady that passed out? I'm like, what are you talking about? This lady passed out and these people handed her through the row, passed her down the road and get her out the lobby because they didn't want to leave the show. And they're like, should we call the ambulance? And they didn't. And I don't know, she got back up or something. But Jesus, I've had that a lot of. Yeah, but not anything like knock on wood shooters or anything I did when I was in. You have to remember too where you are in the United States. I forget that sometimes. Concealed carry states, etc. And I was in Kansas City, where I'll be February 14th, come see me Valentine's weekend, Kansas City. And my feature said, do you know the opener has a gun on him? And I said, what? And I go, hey man, you have a gun on you? And he goes, yeah. He pulls up his back, he's got it tucked right back there because of the hecklers. Well, then it makes me think, Kevin, like, well, if he's got one of them, how many people out there have them?

[B]

Our guy's got one and maybe I should have one.

[A]

And so I took a picture of it and I posted it. And then that's when the people started hitting me up. I'm here too. I got mine on me. I got mine on me. That's what it hit me up like the Texas. That was Kansas City.

[B]

Okay, Missouri.

[A]

So that's what I'm saying. I gotta remember the. Even here is a concealed carry. So you gotta remember where you are.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, and be real smart about it. I forget about like that too, you know?

[B]

Right.

[A]

All right. I want to ask you a couple questions because as I. I researched on the Internet and we found out there was some story.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

A murdered brother when. Oh, ye. You had a brother who was murdered? When I was a child. And that's ridiculous. But then it started making me question the other things.

[B]

I mean, it could have happened, though, because I don't pay attention to that.

[A]

You know what? Did your half brother have any siblings who were murdered? This could still be real. This could still be factual.

[B]

I don't know. Maybe. But that person wouldn't be related to me.

[A]

Yeah, that's a good point. It would be related to him. That's a good point. Your phone was tapped and you said that was true. That's true. Tell me the story and even how the did you find out?

[B]

In a nutshell, I was good friends with Gary Shandling, who unfortunately passed away several years ago, but he was in a lawsuit with his manager and who actually was my manager, too, at the time. So we would have long conversations about his lawsuit, and I'd be on the phone and I'd hear the same story over and over and over. And occasionally I would hear on the phone, and kidding me, I said to Gary, said, oh, it sounds like our phone's being tapped.

[A]

And would you describe it as like a little click?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, a little click.

[A]

I feel so bad. My Aunt Patty used to swear hers was at the click all the time. We're like, shut the up. And it was.

[B]

Everybody wants to know what's going on with Aunt Patty, man.

[A]

Right. So you're hearing that, huh?

[B]

I'm hearing it, and just kidding. I said that. And then I'm reading the. Open up. The New York Times. Yeah. A month after that. And there's a picture of Sly Stallone, me and somebody else. I forget who it was. All phones have been tapped. I'm like, what? It's the first time I'm seeing it.

[A]

You're finding out from an article in the Times you haven't been contacted by anyone.

[B]

And there's this investigator they know, and you don't. I don't know. I don't know. But this guy, Anthony Pellicano, who went to prison for this, I think he's out now, was responsible for it. And I think he was hired by our manager's lawyer to do some investigating. So.

[A]

But. And this is landline days.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, it was Those things. Yeah.

[A]

When you would hold it up.

[B]

Yeah. And he was standing behind me.

[A]

No.

[B]

Yeah. So that was a little.

[A]

But wait, did anyone ever contact you after that? So if you don't see that article,

[B]

you know who contacted me was Geraldo Rivera. Of course. He wanted the inside story. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

But no one professional outside of entertainment, like, hey, we're an attorney. Represent, blah, blah, your phone has been compromised. No one. No legal, no. No cops, no nothing.

[B]

Nothing.

[A]

What does that do to your fucking head?

[B]

Well, first of all, there was nothing. The only thing I was a little embarrassed about was if what we were talking about got back to our manager.

[A]

Yeah, because you're shitting on this guy.

[B]

I wasn't really doing that. I was mostly just agreeing with Gary, who was. And I'm like, yeah, I get it, I get it. Yeah. That's horrible, man. How could he do that, you know? Geez, I learned how to listen a lot over the years, you know, I just.

[A]

I'm sorry, what were you saying?

[B]

It's amazing.

[A]

But wait, can I ask you. Yeah. Is he only hearing those calls, or are you worried that every call you've had with your wife or whoever has been compromised? Oh, yeah, yeah. And he could then blackmail you with that shit?

[B]

Sure, yeah.

[A]

But he got caught, right? You said. Yeah, he did.

[B]

For that, he did go to prison.

[A]

And you didn't have to go to court for this or anything.

[B]

How in the. I know they were going to subpoena me to come to court, but it didn't get that far.

[A]

They just were like, we're putting them in.

[B]

They got them pretty quickly for that. But I don't think people can tap cell phones, can they?

[A]

Yeah, they listen to everything they do. Everything.

[B]

Is that attorney, the they of all of it?

[A]

As soon as we sit here and we're talking about sausage and you go out there, you're gonna open your phone up.

[B]

Is that because you have your microphone on and your settings?

[A]

That's what they say. I mean, yeah, you're probably saying that because they're listening. I see all these things about how they can watch through our TVs and all that. You know, my wife. Of course they can.

[B]

My wife is a big believer in signs. Do you know what I mean? Something happens. They got. Oh, my God. That's a sign. That's because, like, she was inside some restaurants, they're talking about Neil diamond, you know, and asking, like, the piano player to play a certain Neil diamond song. Valet brings her car around. They get in, turn the radio, and it's Neil diamond playing that song.

[A]

That song?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's crazy.

[B]

Isn't that crazy? I'm not a big believer in size.

[A]

I am.

[B]

I think it's all coincidental.

[A]

Well, yeah, I hear what you're saying.

[B]

Or ghosts. No.

[A]

A little bit.

[B]

UFOs.

[A]

I believe in all those. The aliens I believe in. Spirits I believe in.

[B]

You were told wrong. I'm believing, like I'll see these Instagrams of the UFO photographs. I don't even waste my time, especially with AI now and. What?

[A]

I. I can't tell what's real anymore.

[B]

You can.

[A]

I feel like an old dude saying that, but I. I look at now and I'm like, I don't even know if that's real. These Russians jumping off their buildings into the 50 foot snow drifts and stuff over there. And I'm like, is that real? Then Russian officials are like, hey, stop. Jump buildings in the snow drifts. I'm like, is that real? You know, I don't know.

[B]

What about the animals? Like the, the guitar. Big python rocked around. I'm trying to pull them into the.

[A]

But I've also. I've seen a sea otter push a grocery cart at SeaWorld. So I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

[B]

What's the craziest thing besides that you've

[A]

ever seen an animal world anywhere?

[B]

Well, can you think of one I could go to?

[A]

An animal world story I've told before where I watched a guy who had a pet alligator, like a cayman in college. We were all playing soccer on the community college team and he wanted to throw a party to, you know, just, let's all get to meet each other, know each other. And he was coked out of his mind and he picked this thing up out of the tank, thinking it was funny. And he was holding it by the belly and he's kissing it and laughing and. Right on his face. Kevin Neal. And it ripped him up. It was awesome. It was awesome. We were cheering for that alligator, I think.

[B]

It wasn't a chimp.

[A]

There's no. Yeah, there's no. We're. I'm getting out of there. I'm not the animal guy either. If you do that and you're holding an alligator. A little one. A little one. Fine. I'm not a snakes guy. I don't like my brother. I watch people Gator World let their kids get in line to sit on gators backs. And I'm like, nah, no, I don't want any of the animal stuff that cute Little monkey. I'll tell you another story. I went to. Back in the day, we had our first podcast, the Crab Feast. We had a couple. It was a married couple who were fans, and they worked at the Long Beach Aquarium. And they gave us these really great backstage tour. They were like, we're gonna.

[B]

Back pool.

[A]

Yeah, back pool. So we got to feed the penguins, and we're feeding the otters and everything. But they were like, when you take this fish and you put it through that plexiglass hole for the otter, don't put your hand in. Make sure you're. It's through. You're back here. I was like, why? I thought, you know, they're laying on their backs and they're so cute. And he's like, look, they are cute. He said, but. So a couple years ago, there was a doctor working with him who'd been working with them for 20 some years, and she's holding one like a baby, and it just. And they said it ripped the bottom of her jaw off. And I was like, what? And I'm looking at this little cute thing out there laying on his back, and. And he's like, yeah. And I'm like, like. He said, we used to let you feed them like that. We never thought that would happen. And that happened to her. And they were like, that's those otters, man.

[B]

All those killer otters they call.

[A]

They're a problem. They're a problem.

[B]

Yeah. I'm not a fan of those water parks.

[A]

What's the craziest thing you've ever seen? Ever seen? I've seen some crazy things.

[B]

You mean in person?

[A]

Yeah. Like, you're like, I can't believe we just saw that.

[B]

I've never seen anybody die. I really can't recall anything that was crazy like that. Thankfully, yeah. I got nothing on that. But let me ask you this, and I love asking people, this first concert you ever went to.

[A]

Oh, got an answer. And I got the ticket stub right

[B]

out there for you, bro.

[A]

I've talked about this one a lot. I wish I had it. Seventh grade. Wow.

[B]

Really?

[A]

I know. We. We. Where'd you grow up, in Maryland? Okay, so I'm going to Meriwether Post Pavilion in Columbia, Maryland, to see. To see. I'm going with my brother and a friend of ours. We're in seventh grade. We convince our parents. His dad says, listen, the parking lot next to the amphitheater is the Columbia Mall. I'll take the boys. I'm going to sit in the parking lot at the mall. They're going to be right over there. They can go. Come out when they're done. I'll take them. All of our parents say yes. We can't believe it because it's Ozzy Osborne, Ultimate Sin and Metallica Master Puppets

[B]

opening for Heavy Metal.

[A]

And we're in seventh grade and it is the greatest concert. Wow. And back then, too. I don't know if you're Metallica fan, but Cliff Burton, the basis was alive before that bus accident. So we see him and we're just middle school kids. I had never even and seen weed or smelled it. And here it comes down the row and we're, you know, at that age. I'm like, if I touch it, you know, I'm terrified. Like, we're passing it to the adults and. But it's coming right down the road. Oh, man, that's the. I'll tell you what, I've been a million concerts since then. I've never seen a joint get passed down the road like that anymore. People usually keep that to theirself. But it was coming down the road. We were terrified to touch it.

[B]

But that was a time where people wanted to share the high. You know, I mean, even like this is

[A]

seventh grade. 73. 85. Somewhere in there.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

7. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What was yours?

[B]

Mine was. It was either James Taylor, but I think it was this one as a trifecta. It was the band. Yes. You ever hear them?

[A]

I love. Yes, I love Will Find a Way. Edgar Winter.

[B]

Edgar Winter. But the Eagles, okay, that was that. That was that. It was pretty good. But I love going to concerts. I grew up in Connecticut, so I would. Here's the. The bands I would see the most. I'd see them over and over again. Chicago, the Beach Boys, Eagles.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, and the Beatles.

[A]

Did you go to the Sphere for the Eagles? I think they had their little thing.

[B]

Did they really?

[A]

I believe they did, yeah. For a hot sack.

[B]

Brown was just there.

[A]

All right, I want to ask you this, then we'll get you out of here because this is interesting to me. I thought this again was a joke when I read it online, but you developed claustrophobia from a mask you had to put on, Is that right? And so how old are you at that point that.

[B]

I was on SNL at the time, so I was probably around 36 or something like that.

[A]

And what's happening?

[B]

Okay, so what's happening is Jay Leno. We're doing a character of Jay Leno. So I need. I'm going to play Jay Leno. So they need to make a chin. So they do a prosthetic mask for that. But they. To make it, they have to put this. It's called a life mask.

[A]

Okay, so they are covering your whole face just for a chin?

[B]

Yeah, they cover the whole face. Cover your eyes. The only thing open are your nostrils. They cover your ears.

[A]

You don't have a straw.

[B]

You have no senses at all. And the guy goes, okay, this is gonna put some plastic over here. This will take 11 minutes. It's gonna start getting a little warm and a little tight on you. I said, that's okay. No worries. Yeah, I'm good. So they do that, and it starts getting warm and drying, and I start getting panicky. And the last thing I remember was telling the guy, I said, took it off. Take it off. And then I remember waking up, he's got smelling salt. She goes, you okay, dude? I said, yeah, I'm. What happened? I passed out.

[A]

Passed out?

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. And the guy goes, I think I might have been able to save it. So he goes into the sink, he put in the water, and he took it out. He showed it to me. It looked like this.

[A]

Ah, that's how. That's how molded you scream.

[B]

So from that that I got, I developed crossophobia. And I didn't know until like a week later, I'm stuck in the subway between stops, and I started getting that same feeling.

[A]

What do you mean? In the car?

[B]

In the subway car? Yeah. It was dark. And then it just progressed after that. It got worse and worse. It got to the point where I thought, how am I going to have a job if I can't sit on an airplane or go through a tunnel?

[A]

Oh, so it wasn't the tight, tight spaces. Now you're just.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Thinking about any you can get out.

[B]

Like, what happens if traffic stops in the middle of the tunnel under the Hudson Lincoln tunnel? How am I going to get that? It was horrible. I would put a blanket over myself and headphones and not know when we're going to be in the tunnel. You know, if I was in the car service, I wasn't driving, and, you know, I just get through it. I mean, I had to, but it was really stressful for a couple of years. Luckily, on an airplane, it didn't bother me really so much unless we got stuck on the tarmac. And then I would take out a sketch, and I start sketching, and that kind of distracted me, but it was really. I really had to go through that whole thing. But then here's the killer thing, Jeff Daniels is hosting, like, the next year, Friday night. The night before the show, he goes down to the makeup. He needs a life mask made because he's playing Jaylen all this time. So he goes in there, I'm up rehearsing, and the head writer, Jim Downey, comes up because. Do you hear what's going on with Jeff Daniels? I go, know what? He don't tell anybody. He's in the makeup chair. They can't get the life mask off of him. It stuck on him because apparently a disgruntled makeup artist that got fired mixed the wrong powders together. The chemicals, you know, the. And they couldn't get it off of him. It was stuck because he had a beard like you, and it was stuck to that in his eyebrows and his eyelashes. And all of that was open was his nostrils. So they pulled it back. They tried to pour water down here through it, you know, and they put straws in his nostrils. And all that did was make his nose bleed. So there's, like, red blood all over the white plaster. And now they're panicking. They can't get it off.

[A]

And what's he. He can't even talk, can he? Can't be like, let's get this fucking thing off.

[B]

If he threw up, he would have drowned.

[A]

Oh, shit. I didn't even think that's right, because you have no mouth.

[B]

Mouth. No mouth.

[A]

Not even a pinhole.

[B]

Nothing. They would have to take a crowbar and just smash his teeth. Anyway, so Lorne Michaels has a couple of plastic surgeon buddies, but they're at a party, he calls them to come over. So they come over, their black bag. Who knows if they're inebriated or not. They pull his mask back. They take an X acto knife. They cut his eyebrows off, and they cut his eyelashes off, and they pull it back to here. Now it's stuck on his beard. They give him Novocaine shots, and they keep pulling it down. Novocaine shot, Pull it down. Novocaine shot. He comes into the studio the next morning, he's hosting. He's got no eyebrows. His face is all red.

[A]

I gotta go back and look at this episode now, dude. His red.

[B]

His throat is all red and splotchy. And he goes. He goes to me, goes, did you hear what happened to me? I go, know what happened? And, you know, it was my biggest fear.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I was, like, the most affected by it. I was, like, insane. I almost went through the same thing he did because I was reliving it with him. That was my Fear. Horrible.

[A]

I did two times. It's happened to me at one time. I'm in middle school in like seventh grade. And a friend of ours, his uncle says he's going to take a speed lunking. You know what that is? Caving in Harper's Ferry, West Virginia. We're going to go. And I had never been. I didn't know anything about how you go through these caves and then you get into. And there's a lagoon on the. I didn't know anything. We have. We get to a pass where it's. It's as tight as your body is at a seventh grade body. It's small. Right after the concert, right? And the guy says, you got to pick away. You go face first or you go feet first. You can choose. But I can't tell you if it's going uphill down. I can't tell you. Well, my ass goes feet first, man. It's going uphill. So I'm going like this. Now the problem is I'm okay. It is terrifying. It's pitch black, but I'm fine. The kid that goes in front of me goes head first. So we're face to face.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

When he gets up there, this kid's also a weirdo. And he's wearing a horse riding helmet. You know what I mean? That was his spelling. And he freaks out. He's having a panic attack and he's grabbing me and screaming and he's here and it's starting to make me shut up. I'm trying to go. And I'm freaked the out. Yeah, we get through and like I said, beautiful. It's almost like a lake in there.

[B]

And.

[A]

But you got to go back. And I'm. The whole time I'm like, I got to go back through that. I got to go back through that. The other time I'm fine for a while. The other time this is my fault though. I have to go get a physical, CT scan. No, MRI.

[B]

MRI.

[A]

Gotta go get the fucking MRI. And I'm like, I've never ever had a problem with an MRI. But they tell me this one's gonna be a 30 minute one. So I decide I'm gonna smoke a little weed and I'll either fall asleep and if I don't, I'm gonna run my set in my head because then I'm gonna know exactly where I'm at at 10:15, I'm gonna know when this thing's done. That's my time gauge to be like, okay, we're out. So I get in and it's right. You know, it's right here. And the lady's like, are you okay? I'm like, I'm good. And it's the old school tight when my legs are out, but everything else is in.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

And she's like, if you need any help, you just hit this button over here.

[B]

Squeeze that thing. Yeah.

[A]

And she says real quick. She goes, would you like a sip of water? And I said, no, I'm okay. And her saying that put it in my head. I get caught. Mouth. Immediately. Immediately. I'm two minutes in. I'm freaking the out. I'm panicking. I'm going, hello. I'm embarrassed, though, because I'm stuck. Steadily. Hello? She doesn't hear anything about.

[B]

Hello?

[A]

She didn't hear anything. I'm like, somebody help me. And I heard a girl.

[B]

I.

[A]

In my mind, they're all like, do you need help? I'm like, get me out of here. Get me out of here.

[B]

The guy with the riding hat helmet is coming through the helmets, coming in

[A]

where you are, and then they let you out, but it's going. It's going so slow. You're like, all right, I can't do this. I can't do this. I can't do it. And she goes, you have to do this. I'm like, I can't do it. Can you put me in an upright one, which I found later. No, we can't. You got to do this. She's like, just take a breath. Take 10 minutes. I said, all right. She goes, I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I'm going to give you a. I'm going to give you a washcloth, lay it over your face. You don't see it and don't think about it. And I was like, all right. And I was able to do that. I was able to block the view. So I didn't see that it's right, but you can feel your. It's so close.

[B]

Yeah, I know, I know. But they're better now.

[A]

They're all open. Yeah, they're. I'll only get an open one.

[B]

Yeah, I used to worry about that back then, but now they're all open. They got mirrors.

[A]

You can see everything anytime I call. Like, you got to go to a special one downtown. You're one of those. I'm like, yeah, I'm one of those terrified of that.

[B]

You don't even like to go through those X ray machines at the airport along the way to be in there. Yeah, you just walk through

[A]

so how did you beat it? Or have you not? You just haven't been stuck in a small.

[B]

No, I'm good now. I'm back. I'm back to square one. I just started. Kept confronting my fears. You know, I even went to a doctor. You're gonna think this crazy in the Valley. His name was Dr. Doctor. He was a phobia expert.

[A]

Doctor, doctor.

[B]

Doctor. Doctor.

[A]

Doctor.

[B]

And I had a workbook.

[A]

How the do you have a name? Dr. Doctor. Spelled doctor. Like doctor.

[B]

Same thing.

[A]

Not like a D O K T E R some weird shit.

[B]

And then I had a dentist. Dentist. So I had this workbook. But the thing that helped me the most was a brown paper bag when I started get panicking. The old school lunch bag. Blow into it, in and out, fill it up, breathe it in. That helped me the most.

[A]

I had to take EMDR therapy, which was amazing.

[B]

I.

[A]

My daughter almost got hit by a car and I don't know, it's. I always thought I was super chill, but I guess anxiety just lives in you until its numbers called. Yeah, that reared its ugly head. I couldn't fly. I couldn't. I scared of heights. And I don't even mean way up there. I mean three, four stories.

[B]

I'm terrified when you see someone like me that's tall. Does it scare you?

[A]

Not anymore. I'll be scared to get on your shoulders. But now, through that therapy, I was able to beat that because I was like, I have to fly.

[B]

You gotta fly.

[A]

I have to fly. What am I talking about? Like any turbulence, I was all of a sudden like taking off. I used to feel like a rock star on that plane would go. Now all of a sudden I'm like. The first 10 minutes is when they crash. I'm doing all that now. I sleep on my planes. I don't. I don't drug up. I just go to sleep. Bro, this was awesome. Thank you for coming on here and doing this. I have one more question before you promote advice you would give to 16 year old Kevin Nealon.

[B]

Take an improv acting class.

[A]

Why? You never did.

[B]

If you want to do stand up or if you want to be in comedy, I think it's a good base.

[A]

Did you do it?

[B]

No, I never. I never did improv. But also, I agree, by the way, if. If I wanted to be in comedy, maybe don't go to college, just start getting into it. Improv classes.

[A]

Okay. Late dad. How late are you getting into comedy when you really start for it? 23. Yeah, that's young. So.

[B]

Yeah, that was fun.

[A]

Yeah. All right. That's great. I listen I think the basic rules of improv outside of space work like that. Yes. And that's key to so many relationships.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. It's true.

[A]

So many relationships. Yes. And man, thank you. Thank you so much. Please, right there. Again, tell them about the special, the podcast you got, the documentary and you've got hiking with shows. But are you on tour right now and I'm touring. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, I'm touring.

[A]

Tell them all.

[B]

Kevin Nealon.com youm can check out my tour schedule your art. So I'm gonna be all over the place. Art Kevin nealonart.com podcasts, podcast, hiking with Kevin on YouTube and also documentary documentary. Come see me in a good light. And then also my special.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Called Loose in the crotch most of

[A]

the time it thank you very much, Kevin. My pleasure as always. Ryan Sickler on all your social media. We'll talk to you all next week. Foreign.

[B]

Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile. I don't know if you knew this, but anyone can get the same Premium Wireless for 15amonth plan that I've been enjoying. It's not just for celebrities. So do like I did and have one of your assistant's assistants switch you to Mint Mobile today. I'm told it's super easy to [e-mail] Switch upfront payment of $45 for 3 month plan equivalent to $15 per month required intro rate, first 3 months only, then full price plan available. Taxes and fees, extra fee, full terms at mintmobile. Com.