Adrienne Iapalucci - HoneyIapalucci

Summary

The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler: Episode Featuring Adrienne Iapalucci

Introduction In this heartfelt and candid episode of The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler, host Ryan Sickler welcomes comedian Adrienne Iapalucci for an in-depth conversation about her personal journey, family dynamics, and the challenges she has faced throughout her life. The episode, released on December 23, 2024, delves into themes of adoption, loss, addiction, and the complexities of relationships, all delivered with Adrienne’s signature dark humor.

Early Life and Adoption Adrienne begins by sharing her experience of being adopted at the age of one. She reflects on the nuances of her adoption, emphasizing that her mother was still present in her life, which complicates the traditional understanding of adoption.

“[04:06] Adrienne Iapalucci: I have no idea. All my family's dead. There's no one to even ask.”

Adrienne discusses her biological father, a drug addict, and the limited contact she had with him. She recounts meeting him for the first time at a Caldor’s store when she was around twelve or thirteen, a significant yet confusing moment in her life.

“[07:04] Adrienne Iapalucci: I don’t know. My mom just, like, they were very young when they had me, and I think so they’re not.”

Family Dynamics and Loss Adrienne opens up about the instability in her family growing up in the Bronx. Her biological father's addiction led to financial struggles and emotional unavailability, while her mother battled depression, leaving Adrienne and her sister to often fend for themselves. The episode poignantly touches on the rapid loss of her grandparents and later, the death of her father from brain cancer at the age of 22, which profoundly impacted her and her immediate family.

“[07:04] Ryan Sickler: How was your mom when she had you?”

“[07:06] Adrienne Iapalucci: I mean, it was… I always thought it was weird…”

Adrienne describes the emotional void left by her father's passing, compounded by her mother's quick remarriage to James, who also struggled with addiction and was emotionally abusive. This tumultuous period forced Adrienne to navigate complex family relationships and fostered a sense of chaos and instability.

“[12:10] Adrienne Iapalucci: We had a little yard, yeah.”

“[13:13] Adrienne Iapalucci: I mean, it was…”

Personal Struggles and Therapy Reflecting on her childhood, Adrienne shares insights from her therapy sessions, where she realized that despite not experiencing overt abuse, she felt deeply ignored and emotionally neglected. This revelation led her to understand the subtle forms of trauma she endured growing up.

“[13:20] Adrienne Iapalucci: I feel like I had a good childhood and I didn’t realize it wasn’t that great until I started going to therapy.”

Adrienne discusses the impact of her upbringing on her ability to form healthy relationships, highlighting her tendency to attract partners with their own traumas and addictions. She emphasizes the importance of emotional availability, a trait she struggled to recognize in herself and others.

“[27:46] Adrienne Iapalucci: You have a common interest.”

Relationships and Dating Challenges Adrienne candidly explores her tumultuous romantic relationships, particularly focusing on her longest engagement. She details the emotional manipulation she experienced, including threats of self-harm, which ultimately led to the dissolution of the relationship. Her experiences underscore the difficulties in escaping toxic partnerships and the lingering effects of her childhood on her adult relationships.

“[33:24] Adrienne Iapalucci: I think it was my longest relationship and it was one of my worst ones.”

Adrienne also touches on her stance regarding having children, expressing her reluctance to make sacrifices for someone else's kids or take on the responsibilities that come with parenting. She humorously compares caring for a dog to raising a child, highlighting the challenges of balancing personal life with relationship responsibilities.

“[43:37] Adrienne Iapalucci: I just. I don’t want to be the person that's, like, making lasting impressions on your kids.”

Career and Personal Growth Throughout the conversation, Adrienne discusses her career in comedy, noting how it has shaped her worldview and provided an outlet for her dark humor. She shares anecdotes from her stand-up experiences, including touring with other comedians and the demands of maintaining her personal space while on the road.

“[30:34] Adrienne Iapalucci: Go watch the dark queen on Netflix.”

Adrienne also reflects on her personal growth, emphasizing the importance of therapy and self-awareness in overcoming past traumas and building healthier relationships moving forward.

“[50:23] Adrienne Iapalucci: I would say my advice to my 16-year-old self is like, this is the best it’s ever gonna be.”

Conclusion The episode concludes with Adrienne offering promotional insights into her latest projects, including her Netflix special and upcoming tours. Ryan expresses gratitude for Adrienne’s openness, highlighting the episode's blend of humor and vulnerability.

“[51:31] Adrienne Iapalucci: I hope we sell enough shirts that, like, they get mad.”

Notable Quotes

• “[13:25] Adrienne Iapalucci: I really did think we had a good childhood because nobody like sexually abused me as a child. That was my bar.”
• “[27:53] Adrienne Iapalucci: Everyone has something. And it’s usually like a combination of mental illness and addiction.”
• “[43:18] Adrienne Iapalucci: I don’t want to make sacrifices for it. You know what I mean?”

Key Takeaways Adrienne Iapalucci’s story is one of resilience amidst adversity. Through her honest dialogue with Ryan Sickler, she reveals the profound impact of her upbringing on her personal and professional life. The episode underscores the importance of mental health, the complexities of family relationships, and the enduring quest for emotional connection and stability.

For those interested in Adrienne’s work, be sure to check out her Netflix special The Dark Queen and her upcoming tour dates with Ari Shafir and Louis C.K.

Resources and Promotions

• Adrienne Iapalucci’s Netflix Special: The Dark Queen
• Upcoming Tours: Featuring Ari Shafir and Louis C.K.
• Merchandise: AdrianAppalucci.com

Episode Timestamps

• Introduction and Promotions: [00:00 - 02:18]
• Guest Introduction: [02:31 - 03:57]
• Early Life and Adoption: [04:02 - 07:04]
• Family Dynamics and Loss: [07:04 - 12:10]
• Personal Struggles and Therapy: [13:13 - 27:46]
• Relationships and Dating Challenges: [33:24 - 43:37]
• Career and Personal Growth: [30:34 - 51:31]
• Conclusion: [51:31 - End]

Final Thoughts Adrienne Iapalucci’s episode on The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler offers a compelling narrative of overcoming personal hardships through humor and self-reflection. Her ability to intertwine dark humor with deeply personal stories provides listeners with both entertainment and poignant insights into the human experience.

Transcript

[Ryan Sickler]

Do do do do do do do do do. Hi, I'm Mike Rowe and I got nothing against celebrities. In fact, I just interviewed Rob Lowe and Jason Alexander and they were terrific. But usually I interview people you've never heard of the plumber who makes 250 grand a year, the first responders who risk their lives to save complete and total strangers, and the mad scientists who are about to change the world with a better mousetrap. Those are the kinds of I usually interview on the way I heard it, and you're officially invited to give it a listen. Wherever you listen to podcasts, it's better over here now.

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[Ryan Sickler]

We have a new tier on our Patreon and it includes exclusive bonus content. Listen up. Right now, for just $5, you get the Honeydew a day early. You get it ad free and you get a full bonus episode of the Honeydew with y'all, where listeners highlight their low lights. And it's gonna stay that way. Five bucks. And for just $3 more, you're also gonna get the way back a day early and ad free. But that's not all. You'll get exclusive bonus content with the guests, some fun segments, maybe some games, and we'd love to get you guys involved. And that's all for only $3 more. And there's no censorship on any of the Patreon episodes. Subscribe now.

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The Honeydew with Ryan Sick.

[Ryan Sickler]

Welcome back to the Honeydew, y'all. We're over here doing it in the Night Pants Studios, I'm Ryan Sickler. Ryan Sickler.com and Ryan Sickler on all your social media, starting this episode like I start all of them by saying thank you. Thank you for whatever you do to support anything I do. I don't care what it is. A shirt, a damn email, telling a friend, whatever. Thank you very much. And if you got to have more than you got to, check out the Patreon look. We have a brand new tier on our Patreon where you're getting the way back a day early ad free. No censorship and all that. And exclusive bonus content that you're not getting anywhere else. And it's only for an extra three bucks. All right, go check it out. And if you have a story that has to be heard for the Honeydew with y'all, then please submit it. The honeydew. Honeydew podcast, gmail.com. all right, that's the biz. You guys know. Oh, you know what? No, let me tell you something else. Thank you for your support of the way back. And make sure you subscribe to that audio feed. Go listen as well. All right, that's the biz. You guys know what we do here? We highlight the lowlights. And I always say that these are the stories behind the storytellers. I'm very excited to have this guest on today. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Adrian Appalachi. Welcome to the Honeydew Princess. Violating. Our guest girl, she's actually good, though.

[Adrian Appaluci]

She talking about sad stuff and then she's just making you happy. She's a therapy dog.

[Ryan Sickler]

Thank you for watching me. Yeah, for sure.

[Adrian Appaluci]

This is the way to my heart. A dog.

[Ryan Sickler]

I'm glad some people, you know, are indifferent or allergic or whatever, but I think I'm allergic.

[Adrian Appaluci]

I'm. I'm alert. Like, I got an allergy test done, and I'm very allergic to cats and somewhat allergic to dogs, but I've had them my whole life.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah. So what happens? You just get itchy, but you're. Are you. Are you in danger of dying?

[Adrian Appaluci]

No, no, no. I'm not gonna die. I'm not that lucky. I'm not gonna die.

[Ryan Sickler]

Don't look at me, princess.

[Adrian Appaluci]

I'm not gonna die.

[Ryan Sickler]

So before we jump into anything, we're gonna talk about, promote everything you'd like, please.

[Adrian Appaluci]

All of it. Go watch the Dark Queen on Netflix. Follow me on Instagram. Adrian Appaloosi. Let's see. I'll go. I'm going to be on the road. I'm going to be touring a Little bit with Ari, and then I'm going to also be doing my own dates. Ari produced the special and Louis CK Directed it, so I'm going to be going on the road with both of them a bit.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, yeah.

[Adrian Appaluci]

Okay, good. That's really it. Just, like, follow me.

[Ryan Sickler]

You have a podcast.

[Adrian Appaluci]

I don't have a podcast. I used to, but we did it for years, me and Sarah Talamash. She's super funny, and it just, like, never took off, so. But those episodes are somewhere. They're pretty funny.

[Ryan Sickler]

All right, so your last name. Apolucci. What is that? Is that Italian?

[Adrian Appaluci]

That's Italian.

[Ryan Sickler]

It is, yeah. And why with an I? Why does it start with an I?

[Adrian Appaluci]

I have no idea.

[Ryan Sickler]

Never asked anybody.

[Adrian Appaluci]

All my family's dead. There's no one to even ask.

[Ryan Sickler]

You're like, just like.

[Adrian Appaluci]

There's nobody.

[Ryan Sickler]

We have, like, one person left my mom halfway in the grave.

[Adrian Appaluci]

Yeah, it's my mom and my sister.

[Ryan Sickler]

Is this your dad's name, though? Appalachian.

[Adrian Appaluci]

So I was. He adopted me when I was, like, 1. So my biological father's name is. His last name is, like, a terrible last name. But it's also Italian.

[Ryan Sickler]

It is also Italian. Okay, so let's talk about that. You're adopted at one.

[Adrian Appaluci]

Is it really adoption? Like, my mom was, like, still there. I always feel like when your biological father is not there, it's not really adoption because you're, you know, you have your mom.

[Ryan Sickler]

You feel like adoption should be no parents. And then someone.

[Adrian Appaluci]

Adoption is like you're in front of a firehouse, and, like, nobody. Nobody wanted you. Like, I still had one person that wanted me, so it doesn't seem like I was adopted.

[Ryan Sickler]

Well, even if you're adopted, somebody wants you. You know what I mean? You could have one person who wants you, and they adopt you.

[Adrian Appaluci]

Your original owners did not. Yeah, they both.

[Ryan Sickler]

But you had one and not two. What happened to dad, the biological father?

[Adrian Appaluci]

Oh, she's going. She's had enough of me. So my biological father, I don't know. My mom just, like, they were very young when they had me, and I think so they're not.

[Ryan Sickler]

They weren't married or anything, like.

[Adrian Appaluci]

They were married, but he was a drug addict. I want to say he was on methadone, but that's usually like. To get you off heroin. I think he was just addicted to that. Yeah, my mom said she just had it. Like, she just. I don't know. I guess he was a drug addict. They were very young.

[Ryan Sickler]

How was your mom when she had you?

[Adrian Appaluci]

Do you know, I think, like, 22 is pretty young. I mean, back then, it's not that young young.

[Ryan Sickler]

Have you ever met your biological dad?

[Adrian Appaluci]

I did. I did. I met him in 2017 for the first time, I guess, when I was a kid. I met him once. Do you remember what was that store? Caldor's.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, my God. Yeah. I remember the orange and brown arch, like rainbow or whatever.

[Adrian Appaluci]

Yeah, it was a weird rainbow. That was not.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah, of course. That's great.

[Adrian Appaluci]

I was probably, like, 12 or 13, and I was there with my mom, and he happened to be in there, and she was like, oh, that's your biological father.

[Ryan Sickler]

Come on. That's how you met your dad in Caldor.

[Adrian Appaluci]

I didn't actually even go up to him. I just, like, saw him. And she told me that.

[Ryan Sickler]

The first time you laid eyes on your biological dad.

[Adrian Appaluci]

Right. I mean, when I was a baby, I. He's in my life a bit, but yeah. Yeah. That was, like, the first time I saw him.

[Ryan Sickler]

What was that like?

[Adrian Appaluci]

I don't know. I was so young.

[Ryan Sickler]

You don't remember being like, what? That's my dad. So then he obviously lived local.

[Adrian Appaluci]

He lived, like, a mile from me my whole life.

[Ryan Sickler]

This blows me away. That's what our mom did, too. Left the family and moved, like, right over there.

[Adrian Appaluci]

That's so crazy.

[Ryan Sickler]

And you run into him in places.

[Adrian Appaluci]

I only ran into him that. That one time, but then when we were. When I was a kid, so I have a bunch of half siblings from him. Yeah. And I guess I was going for, like, physical therapy or something. And that girl, one of my half siblings, worked there, and she knew who I was at first, and I didn't realize it till after. And, like, I was like, oh, my God. I think we're related. It was such a weird thing, but she had a sister and her brother from her mom's first marriage. And then that daughter from that marriage is jealous of me. So even at, like, 50 years old, she's, like, jealous of me. And she made a whole. It's, like, crazy how we met. And he acted like he couldn't be around me. He had to, like, sneak around to meet me. I was like, this is creepy.

[Ryan Sickler]

Are you his only child with your mom?

[Adrian Appaluci]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

You are? Okay. And how many other ones does he have? Do you even know?

[Adrian Appaluci]

I think he has five with his. His second wife. Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Okay.

[Adrian Appaluci]

And then he has two from her first marriage that I guess he adopted maybe.

[Ryan Sickler]

Okay, so then that's wild. He adopted two kids and he doesn't. Maybe Maybe with you. Like, the thing of that, like, this guy died.

[Adrian Appaluci]

My mom also.

[Ryan Sickler]

Come on, go see her.

[Adrian Appaluci]

I'll bring her closer. There you go.

[Ryan Sickler]

There you go.

[Adrian Appaluci]

What was I saying?

[Ryan Sickler]

I was asking about your biological father adopting.

[Adrian Appaluci]

I think he adopted them. I don't know. But also, I think my mom made it that he wasn't going to be in my life. My mom, his brother is a Hell's angel, and I think he had done something to wear, because I remember he wouldn't give her the welfare check at one point, and somebody, like, threatened him, and then she got the welfare check. But, like, I think it was kind of like, give up the rights or whatever. So even when I met him, my mom thought it was. She was worried about what he was gonna say. Like, you know, like, your mom made.

[Ryan Sickler]

Me do this, or did he see you guys? Do you know if he saw you?

[Adrian Appaluci]

When in cvs.

[Ryan Sickler]

Caldor.

[Adrian Appaluci]

Oh, Calder. Jizz. Yeah, no, he definitely saw us.

[Ryan Sickler]

He did?

[Adrian Appaluci]

Yeah, he definitely saw us. We were like. I was here, and he was, like, there. It wasn't that far.

[Ryan Sickler]

I mean, I don't know. What? I don't know. Everyone's different. But if I'm seeing my kid, I don't know if I could just not say anything and go home that day.

[Adrian Appaluci]

And be like, he was with, I think, his kid, one of his kids. It was just like a standoff.

[Ryan Sickler]

So then at one, your stepdad comes in.

[Adrian Appaluci]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Is he your stepfather? Is that what you call.

[Adrian Appaluci]

You consider my dad? Yeah, because he. He adopted me. He was, like, the only person that was in my life. So, yeah, I consider him my dad. And he adopted me when I was, like, I think, grand one.

[Ryan Sickler]

Okay, so he comes in at one, and he's your dad now, right? Is he. Does he marry your mom? And do they have kids after that?

[Adrian Appaluci]

Then my sister, yeah, they do. And then my mom, I think, had, like, one or two miscarriages, which, like, I can't imagine having all those kids. We didn't have a lot of money, so it's, like, crazy to have had miscarriage. What are you doing? There's, like, not any money.

[Ryan Sickler]

And where are you growing up? In the Bronx.

[Adrian Appaluci]

Yeah, we lived in the Bronx my whole life.

[Ryan Sickler]

Okay. So, yeah, that is crazy. Dad stayed in the Bronx.

[Adrian Appaluci]

My biological father, yeah. He was, like, a mile away. I am like, what's funny is I almost picked one of those high schools that he lived right by, and nobody told me, like, you might run into your half sister, because I didn't know about this. Till I was much older.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, so you could ended up going to high school?

[Adrian Appaluci]

I could end up going to high school, yeah. He lived like two blocks from this other high school that I was considering maybe going to.

[Ryan Sickler]

That's wild.

[Adrian Appaluci]

That is wild.

[Ryan Sickler]

And you do. You don't have a. Like mom doesn't say, all right, we're gonna do you go see him. This, it's just like, this is dad.

[Adrian Appaluci]

This is it. This is me.

[Ryan Sickler]

This is our family here, right?

[Adrian Appaluci]

I think they thought it would be better for me. And maybe it was, I don't know.

[Ryan Sickler]

And did you get along with your father? Yeah, he's a good dude.

[Adrian Appaluci]

He's a good guy. I mean, he's like a gambler, so he's like very emotionally unavailable. So those are like the guys I'm going after.

[Ryan Sickler]

What kind of gambler? Is he online or is he like.

[Adrian Appaluci]

Vegas tables, cr, otb, betting on football games, stuff like that?

[Ryan Sickler]

Horses.

[Adrian Appaluci]

He loved the horses. I used to go. Me and my sister would go with him all the time to the otb.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, he would go.

[Adrian Appaluci]

And that's when you would like smoke inside. So you come home as like a 7 year old and you just smell like the ball. Remember? Like you used to be able to smoke in clubs and stuff. So you come home, you just like smell like a ball.

[Ryan Sickler]

Never forget when they stopped one night, all of us went home and I was like, I could, I could wear this tomorrow. I don't stink. Like, my hair doesn't smell like everyone else's cigarettes. And remember, your hair would stink.

[Adrian Appaluci]

That was what I think made you hungover. It was just smelling like.

[Ryan Sickler]

That's a good point. I never even thought of that. Smelling, like all that secondhand smoke when.

[Adrian Appaluci]

You wake up the next day and you're like, ugh, smells so disgusting. Like from a night out of like the bar or whatever.

[Ryan Sickler]

Okay, so tell me about growing up with mom and dad there.

[Adrian Appaluci]

I mean, it was. It's weird because I feel like I had like a good childhood and I didn't realize it wasn't that great until I started going to therapy.

[Ryan Sickler]

What? What did you find out? What did you learn that wasn't that great?

[Adrian Appaluci]

I mean, I really did think we. I had a good childhood because nobody like sexually abused me as a child. That was my bar. And then when I told my therapist that, he's like, you were so ignored. And I was like, oh, no one touched me.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah, yeah, I got ignored. I got beat a.

[Adrian Appaluci]

It was just that the worst. This all aspects the worst. So if that didn't happen. It had to be pretty good. And then he's like, no, you were like, super ignored. I was like. I started thinking back to when you're like, yeah, man, I. We. I was by myself a lot, so me and my sister, both of us.

[Ryan Sickler]

So were you guys latchkey kids, you're coming home after school, taking care of yourselves, that sort of thing.

[Adrian Appaluci]

My mom didn't even work, so it's crazy that she, like, she would just like, let us get ready in the morning. And I'm sure she has a bit of depression, but, like, she would just kind of sleep. I always thought it was weird. We. I guess high school is a bit further. It's probably like a mile walk and like the freezing cold weather. Just walking to school when she has a car and she's like, nah, and she's home.

[Ryan Sickler]

Wait, she had a car and is not working. It wouldn't drive you to school?

[Adrian Appaluci]

No.

[Ryan Sickler]

She'd be like, I'm only doing that in the winter, bad weather, everything.

[Adrian Appaluci]

No, she wasn't even doing that. It's not like she was making us breakfast. She was doing nothing. So that's the things where you're like, oh, yeah, I guess that's not great. That's not like a great mom.

[Ryan Sickler]

But your dad's out there working and doing his thing or.

[Adrian Appaluci]

Yeah, he's working. Yeah. He's a mailman.

[Ryan Sickler]

You got to do something to afford gambling addiction.

[Adrian Appaluci]

But it's weird because I have a joke about it, like, how you can't be a gambler and a mailman. Like, you're just not making enough money. So that's probably why we never had any money.

[Ryan Sickler]

Did he ever hit one big. Do you ever remember him being excited.

[Adrian Appaluci]

About one and buying dinner or something? Like, even that just.

[Ryan Sickler]

Even if he just got the money.

[Adrian Appaluci]

I assume he had to win at some point, otherwise you can't keep losing. But it wasn't like, enough where we got something from it, like a new car or anything. So he might have won. I was really young when he was doing it too.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah.

[Adrian Appaluci]

So I don't remember.

[Ryan Sickler]

And so I know we talked before you came in. You said he had passed. When. How were you when he passed?

[Adrian Appaluci]

I think it was like 22.

[Ryan Sickler]

Okay. Was that the first time you lost someone in your family or someone really close to you?

[Adrian Appaluci]

I guess I lost grandparents. My grandparents all. I had all of them until like 8th grade and then they all died, like one a year.

[Ryan Sickler]

Damn.

[Adrian Appaluci]

Yeah. I went from having all my grandparents, like, none of them in Two or three years. Oh, yeah. I don't know. I was really only close with my mother's mother.

[Ryan Sickler]

You were?

[Adrian Appaluci]

Yeah. And I think she might have died first. I don't remember now. But yeah, like, when my dad died, it was weird because we had such a small family already that his death felt bigger because there was, like, now 25, you know, it was me, my sister, my mom and him. And that was weird too, because, like, they had just gotten this house. Like, they got a house because his. His parents had died. So now all of us are in this house. My mother doesn't know how to do anything. She's not working. So, like, somebody's got to get married and, like, find somebody. Somebody's got to. Somebody's got to have someone fix in the house. And none of us know how to do anything. We couldn't even put the lawnmower on.

[Ryan Sickler]

The lawn mower on.

[Adrian Appaluci]

Oh, God. I was like, somebody's got to do something here, man. So that's what my mom did.

[Ryan Sickler]

That's nice, though. So he up. He got you up into this house and everything at a little yard and all that?

[Adrian Appaluci]

We had a little yard, yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

And he didn't even get to enjoy it.

[Adrian Appaluci]

I guess he did for a couple of years. Maybe four years, something like that.

[Ryan Sickler]

And now he's gone.

[Adrian Appaluci]

He's gone.

[Ryan Sickler]

And the three were there, but my.

[Adrian Appaluci]

Mom bounced back quick.

[Ryan Sickler]

She did?

[Adrian Appaluci]

Yeah. He died in July. And by, like, Thanksgiving, some dude was bringing us. Her job is getting a guy. My mother has never worked. She's like, oh, she had been waitress, but she never.

[Ryan Sickler]

He's coming around. You gotta survive for Christmas in the fold already.

[Adrian Appaluci]

Oh, for sure. We needed stuff done in the house and nobody had to do anything.

[Ryan Sickler]

Do you remember him?

[Adrian Appaluci]

I do remember him. He wasn't bad. He. So he was like a bad alcoholic, but he disguised it until, like, he moved in. That's crazy to not know you're with an alcoholic.

[Ryan Sickler]

It was only a few months.

[Adrian Appaluci]

True. But, like, I've dated guys and, like, right away I'm like, this guy's an alcoholic. But, like, I think he drank when he went home. He didn't really drink with my mom, so I don't think she knew until, like, they moved in together and then.

[Ryan Sickler]

She couldn't hide it. Yeah.

[Adrian Appaluci]

And, like, he had a good job and, you know, he was a. Like, a functioning alcoholic.

[Ryan Sickler]

So how did your dad pass away?

[Adrian Appaluci]

Brain cancer.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, my God.

[Adrian Appaluci]

Yeah. That's tough.

[Ryan Sickler]

I had a friend whose dad passed away, and I. I would go visit him and watch that go down. That was awful.

[Adrian Appaluci]

It's awful. And then, like, my family's so trashy that, like, we kind of would do it. Like, one time we snuck a dog into the hospital because we're like, this maybe will make our. My dad happy. And like, he was so out of it by then, too. Like, he was like, tell my uncle I said, thanks, but no thanks. And we're like, what are you talking. His. His uncle had raised dog. So I. That's what he equated it to. And then he. He had like. He's like a.

[Ryan Sickler]

His brain is still working a little.

[Adrian Appaluci]

It's working, but like, a little bit.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah. It's a misfiring.

[Adrian Appaluci]

Right. Like, he thought the sink was a. But it's very funny. He thought, like, the sink was a pizza box. So he's like. He's, you know, equating things, but, like, it's not what it is. But we brought this dog in the hospital and he had an aid at the time because he was a. Like a fall risk. And she went ballistic on us that we brought this dog. And she, like, now to change everything. I mean, you don't bring a puppy into the hospital.

[Ryan Sickler]

It's funny. You don't. But then the senior homes do want them. Maybe it's because those people are already on their way out. Maybe they don't care.

[Adrian Appaluci]

Maybe. Or like, they're not necessarily sick. They're just old.

[Ryan Sickler]

That's a great point, too.

[Adrian Appaluci]

Yeah. I don't know. I would want to be with dogs, but. Yeah, she was just like. She went nuts on us.

[Ryan Sickler]

Did he. Was he in care the whole time or did he ever make it home?

[Adrian Appaluci]

He never came back home.

[Ryan Sickler]

He never did?

[Adrian Appaluci]

No. So we.

[Ryan Sickler]

How long? From the time that they told him he had it till he passed. Was it pretty?

[Adrian Appaluci]

He went into the hospital in January and then he died, I think, like fourth of July weekend.

[Ryan Sickler]

Damn.

[Adrian Appaluci]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

And do you know why he went originally?

[Adrian Appaluci]

So he had gotten a promotion at work and he kept forgetting stuff, and we just thought he was nervous about.

[Ryan Sickler]

That's how it started. Yeah, you just freak you out, forget shit a lot.

[Adrian Appaluci]

Yeah. But he also. His personality changed. He was a lot more, like, emotionally available. Like, I forget I was having so many podcasts now where, like, you know, sometimes people get a brain tumor and they become a pedophile. Like, he just became. He became emotional.

[Ryan Sickler]

Happens.

[Adrian Appaluci]

Yes.

[Ryan Sickler]

I've never.

[Adrian Appaluci]

Someone will get like a tumor on their brain or something and it hits something where like, that makes.

[Ryan Sickler]

I get that it changes Them as a person. But you're telling me it can do that?

[Adrian Appaluci]

If it can make him emotionally kill me now, if it can make him emotionally available, I'm sure it can make someone a pedophile. This is a guy that was so emotionally shut down.

[Ryan Sickler]

You're saying the brain tumor made him a better person?

[Adrian Appaluci]

It made him a better person. It was a short window. It was a short lived window, but he was. That's crazy. Yeah. That's what we needed the whole time.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, my God. If you could just live with that on there.

[Adrian Appaluci]

It's interesting pressure.

[Ryan Sickler]

That's it. If you could just open the brain up and go, I can just.

[Adrian Appaluci]

If I could just push right there, whatever that is.

[Ryan Sickler]

All sudden, you turned it on in your magic.

[Adrian Appaluci]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Wow.

[Adrian Appaluci]

It was weird.

[Ryan Sickler]

Like you were like, oh, this guy's turned a corner.

[Adrian Appaluci]

It was just weird because he always wanted to gamble, so he never really wanted to do anything else. I remember one time ask, like telling him, like, come out with me and my boyfriend at the time. And he's like, okay, but like, he would have never done that before. And I was. And then one time he picked up a prescription for me and like he paid for the co. Pay for one. And like, he would never do that because all his money was for gambling. So like, that's weird.

[Ryan Sickler]

Also, did he stop gambling?

[Adrian Appaluci]

Yeah, because he died.

[Ryan Sickler]

When he got.

[Adrian Appaluci]

I don't know, I don't think gamble.

[Ryan Sickler]

Right up till he could then.

[Adrian Appaluci]

Not in the hospital, but like, yeah, I'm sure he was probably gambling.

[Ryan Sickler]

Imagine trying to have to kick that addiction.

[Adrian Appaluci]

Too cold while you're dying.

[Ryan Sickler]

While you're dying, you can't even have fun and try to win some money or something.

[Adrian Appaluci]

I think your. Your brain is just so fried. Like once he did radiation. He was like a different person.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah. I remember my friend's dad, he was diagnosed and. And they always made fun of him because any injury he had, he was, you know, a hypochondriac with everything. So if he, if his, you know, he sliced his wrist for just.

[Adrian Appaluci]

He's gonna die.

[Ryan Sickler]

He's jugular, you know, my neck, it's my jugular here. I'm gonna die anything. And so he started having these weird headaches and he kept saying, it's a tumor, but for life.

[Adrian Appaluci]

Yeah, because you're like, you're always saying something's wrong.

[Ryan Sickler]

And this time.

[Adrian Appaluci]

That's crazy.

[Ryan Sickler]

This time it really was. And it took him quick too. And a lot of problems too are when they, you know, they told the surgeon Told us you cut a person's head open more than once, it's not great.

[Adrian Appaluci]

We couldn't even get it removed. It was not in a good place. Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

And so they were able to get some out of his. But opening his head up, he got an infection from whatever in the room. So then they got to open you up again. You're like, fuck. And then it just spiraled bad.

[Adrian Appaluci]

Yeah. You're just. You're like such a different person. It's weird, like, from day to day. It's like such a big change. I think the radiation, like, I don't think it extended his life. And I don't know that that was the right choice now, but, like, at that time, you don't know what you're really doing.

[Ryan Sickler]

Do you think he would have got. I mean, that's the other thing, too.

[Adrian Appaluci]

He would have died eventually.

[Ryan Sickler]

I mean, what are you gonna get? 2 more months of misery and that you're gonna make people pay in your family. I'm just gonna check out maybe.

[Adrian Appaluci]

Yeah. And then you're also just going there every day, and it's like you're hanging out with somebody that's not really all there.

[Ryan Sickler]

And how'd your mom handle it? I mean, beside moving on by November. I mean, how did she not.

[Adrian Appaluci]

By November, I'd say it was like, two months later. November is when we got those Thanksgiving baskets. This guy comes over. He has big. He's got big baskets for us. I'm like this. And me and my sister, like a turkey basket. It was a huge basket.

[Ryan Sickler]

Two of them.

[Adrian Appaluci]

One for me, one for my sister. He was working hard to get on our side, and we were just so mad at him. But we needed that guy.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah.

[Adrian Appaluci]

We needed him to, like, pay the bills.

[Ryan Sickler]

How. How long was. Well, your dad's there from basically year one till when.

[Adrian Appaluci]

When was like, 22.

[Ryan Sickler]

Wow. Yeah. I mean, that's. Hell, yeah.

[Adrian Appaluci]

That's a pretty long.

[Ryan Sickler]

And your mom's. That's your husband. Her husband for 22 years. And boom. Man on we got to get somebody here. Business is business.

[Adrian Appaluci]

Business is business.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah.

[Adrian Appaluci]

Then she marries James, and they were together for about 10 years, but then they. He also. They also lived together when they got divorced.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, they just stayed living together.

[Adrian Appaluci]

Yeah. I think my mom was upstairs, and maybe he was downstairs, and then they were still living. I think my mom wanted him to work on. My mom forces her husband to, like, go into 12 step programs, and, like, if you don't want to do it, you're not going to do It. You can't like, do that for somebody else. It just never works. So he was going to, like, AA meetings, but also drinking. My dad was in ga, but he was also gambling. So it's like she would force these people to do these things. And my mom also, if we got into a fight, she would also force me to apologize to her when I wasn't sorry. Make you say it. And I would say, I'm sorry, but I don't mean that. And she'd be like, okay, I. I had to apologize when I was not sorry for something. I just thought that was so weird.

[Ryan Sickler]

That's a power thing for sure.

[Adrian Appaluci]

You're gonna say these words. I don't actually mean this though. So these guys would, like, be in these 12 step programs and still be like in their active addiction. So it's just interesting. It's just weird.

[Ryan Sickler]

And then when you start dating, are you finding guys similar to that as well? I mean, you said you dated alcoholics. You knew right away.

[Adrian Appaluci]

I don't think. I mean, listen, when I was younger, I was also drinking too. So you don't really realize that. But I guess the older you get, I think after my dad died, date a guy that for. I mean, I date a lot of people with ptsd. I think they're just drawn to dark, like dark humor. It's so. It's like, I get a lot of people like that, you know, a 911 responder, a fireman that, you know, like army veteran. So that guy was definitely an alcoholic. I mean, I've dated a couple of alcoholics. Everyone has something, Everybody's got something, right? And it's usually like a combination of mental illness and addiction.

[Ryan Sickler]

That's the damn truth. It sure is.

[Adrian Appaluci]

Have you did any, like, alcoholics?

[Ryan Sickler]

No. One that was. Look, yes, there's a lot of. I had a therapist one time that told me if you're a guy who golfs every Saturday and you just drink on Saturdays, you're an alcoholic. And I was like, well, we have a different definition of what alcohol sure is. Okay, I get it. You're an addiction counselor, but I get it. But nobody and I've dated someone who had a DUI before, but they weren't. I wouldn't call them a daily drinker or anything like that. So I, I. Yes and no.

[Adrian Appaluci]

I guess for me it's like, it's. I don't care if you're. Because I was like talking to this guy and he was like, well, I don't see how my drinking affects us. He's like, I'm not, like, mean to you. And I'm like, no, you're actually, like, very emotionally open when you're drinking. It's when you're not drinking that you're, like, the most shut down. And you don't see how that's affecting your. You're just looking at how it affects you when you're drinking. It's how it affects you when you're not drinking. So I think when I was younger, too, I didn't even know, like, what emotional availability was. You know, you're just, like, dating someone because you think they're cute and you have fun with them, and then when you're older, you start seeing, like, what's every. Everyone's stuff. What's everyone's red flags and stuff.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah, I'm just learning about feelings. Yeah, I know. I had them.

[Adrian Appaluci]

Why don't. I mean.

[Ryan Sickler]

No, here's the thing with men, though. No one has ever said to me, how are you feeling? What's how? You. It's always, how you doing? I'm good.

[Adrian Appaluci]

Right. Do you think it's different now? Like, younger generations of men are, like, maybe taught to, like, talk about their feelings?

[Ryan Sickler]

Even. Even the ladies, too, you know, are bringing to our attention. Like, you. You don't express your feelings. Like, what, I'm just going day by day and. And then that I find out is a trauma response, is that you don't have time for feelings. You're just getting up and getting your day done. You know what I mean?

[Adrian Appaluci]

Like, I mean, sometimes there is, like, if you were to actually address all your feelings, don't you feel like you maybe not what you made me, wouldn't even leave your house?

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah.

[Adrian Appaluci]

Like, if you had to sit with every one of your feelings.

[Ryan Sickler]

My own. Every day. I do it when it's necessary. I do my therapy. I do journaling. I do all that. But if you had to sit there all day long, you would be depressed.

[Adrian Appaluci]

Everybody's got shit. Everyone has shit. Everyone has shit. I think it's how you deal with it.

[Ryan Sickler]

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[Adrian Appaluci]

But, yeah, like, emotional availability is not something I really even knew was a thing. You know, I. You know what's funny? I found, like, I was going through, like, stuff my mom was, like, throwing out, and I found a letter to her where I was like, you hurt my feelings. And I was a child, and I'm like, I wonder who in my family, like, stopped that. It was like, let's put a pin in that. How about you pick this back up when you're 30?

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah.

[Adrian Appaluci]

Because I think kids are. Well, they're pretty honest, so they'll talk about how they're feeling. It's like other people who are, like, suffocating those feelings. I remember my sister was upset about something, and my dad was like, you're not upset. And I was like. And I remember that because I was like, oh, that's like, you know. You know, not to be upset in front of dad. You know, not to cry. If you cry, I'll give, like, I'll give you something like, you know what I mean? That's kind of. You just realize, like, those things as a child. And like, to me, again, trauma is like, if you're getting beat up or you have to go to the hospital or you're getting assault, like, those are the things where I'm like, that's a bad childhood.

[Ryan Sickler]

That's exactly what I thought. You're being, you know, abused. I would hear about kids getting beat so bad, they're going here. They're a juvenile hall and all this. And I'm like, oh, I must have had it pretty good.

[Adrian Appaluci]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Then you're like, I didn't have parents. I didn't. You know what I mean? Like, what the is going on? Yeah. Where's your dark sense of humor come from? Where do you get it?

[Adrian Appaluci]

I mean, my. Do you know, I think my family.

[Ryan Sickler]

Has everybody like that sort of, like.

[Adrian Appaluci]

Sort of dark humor, but everyone. So like, I had a friend from grammar school that killed himself. Talk about dark stuff. And all of us went to his funeral. I hadn't seen these people in 15, 20 years maybe. And then we all went out to dinner and we all had the darkest sense of humor. I was like, oh, this is where I got it from.

[Ryan Sickler]

All right.

[Adrian Appaluci]

Yeah. I think it's just everyone, I don't know a lot of people in the Bronx because, like, somebody would like, ex described my specials like dark. And then my friend who lived in the Bronx was like, like, it's not really dark to me. That's just kind of how our, our sense of humor is. I don't know if it's like being a New Yorker or how where I grew up, but we kind of all had that same sense of humor. I don't know, that's.

[Ryan Sickler]

I mean, I'm. I wouldn't say I. Look, I love your specials. Great. I love your sense of humor. But we also grew up in a way where it was just ball busting. A lot of it is just sure on someone. And now it's bullying or like, what are you talking about?

[Adrian Appaluci]

Right.

[Ryan Sickler]

You know, this, this way of.

[Adrian Appaluci]

But that's the thing. Once you start addressing feelings and it's like, all of this stuff is wrong.

[Ryan Sickler]

This is. And then you put this term that gets abusive. I'm like, I don't know.

[Adrian Appaluci]

Is that really abusive?

[Ryan Sickler]

I mean, a lot of stuff is abuse these days too. There's a lot of abuse. There's a lot on the spectrum. There's a lot of all this out there now. And there's a lot of people out there doing pop psychology off of Tick Tock. There's a lot of that going on out there too.

[Adrian Appaluci]

I'll. I like to read the tick tocks.

[Ryan Sickler]

And diagnose myself and misdiagnose yourself. You read long enough, you'll get aids.

[Adrian Appaluci]

You get everything. Yeah, like, I think I have that.

[Ryan Sickler]

Like, I've coughed twice today. I might have aids. Yeah, right. I want to talk to you about something too, because before the show we talked about you were engaged, never married. I also was as well. How long were you engaged? Who were. Tell me about this relationship and what happened.

[Adrian Appaluci]

I think it was my longest relationship and it was one of my worst ones. Oh, so like he was a workaholic and he had his own trauma and we just together, like, it was just not good. And, like, anytime I try to break up with him, he told me he's gonna kill himself. And then I cheated on him. And then I was. You know, I remember when he called me when he found that I was cheating on him, and I was like, I. Like, I was just like, I might get hit. Like, I don't even know what's gonna happen. I was like, but at least this is over.

[Ryan Sickler]

You're saying even if you took the.

[Adrian Appaluci]

Hit, then I was like, at least this relationship's over, because I couldn't get out of it because he's always going to kill himself. And also, New York City's so expensive to live. We're basically living together because neither one of us could afford to live by ourselves. I remember going to the house, and he was so calm, which freaked me.

[Ryan Sickler]

Out even more after finding out you cheated.

[Adrian Appaluci]

Yes. And it was more of an emotional thing. It wasn't like, I fuck some dude, but, like, I remember him being so calm, which freaked me out more. And then, like, he just forgave me, and we stayed together and got engaged.

[Ryan Sickler]

Wait, this is before you got engaged?

[Adrian Appaluci]

This is happening in the relationship, Then you get engaged, then we get engaged. So things did get a little bit better for a bit. Like, you know.

[Ryan Sickler]

Why'd you say yes to that?

[Adrian Appaluci]

To what?

[Ryan Sickler]

Because you said this was more of an emotional thing than just some guy. So what made you say yes to him, your fiance?

[Adrian Appaluci]

Well, he asked me in Italy, and we were staying with his family. So what am I gonna do? Say no and then be like, hey.

[Ryan Sickler]

Are you in front of everybody?

[Adrian Appaluci]

No, but we were staying with his family, and, like, he. We left to go for my friend. He also told my friend, and she told me he was gonna ask me to marry. And I was like, so we're in Italy, and he asked me to marry him, and, like, we're going back to his family's house. What am I gonna do? Say no and be like, hey, you're still gonna pay for everything, right? Like, we're going back to your fa. All your families there. It was. It was just not a situation where I could. It's weird because I know when people get engaged, they're, like, so happy.

[Ryan Sickler]

And I was like, was there any part of you that thought we could make this work or did you know 100%?

[Adrian Appaluci]

There were moments where things were good, but it was not. It was not enough to be in a relationship together. I mean, we fought so bad. It was a bad relationship.

[Ryan Sickler]

And how long were you engaged?

[Adrian Appaluci]

Maybe a year.

[Ryan Sickler]

And who decided this isn't gonna. Who. Who finally cut the cord?

[Adrian Appaluci]

I don't know. Because, like, we were almost like codependent on each other at some point. Like, the relationship itself wasn't good, but, like, because I had no family, he was almost like my family. So it was like, the stability of that. I think, like, when we broke up, I was so upset, but I wasn't even in love with him. Do you know what I mean? It was more like my whole stability is, like, collapsed now. And now I'm moving back with my mom and my stepfather at this time. And how old are you? I think 38, something like that.

[Ryan Sickler]

Moved back in with your mom?

[Adrian Appaluci]

Yeah, in the house. I think I lived there for three months because my sister got pregnant by a married guy and she ended up moving back in. I mean, it was all. It's like chaos.

[Ryan Sickler]

Imagine. Also, your mom and your dad are like, man, the girls are finally out of the house, and here it is. They both come back. So your sister. That happened the same time. So you're all back in the house together.

[Adrian Appaluci]

Think I moved in in January. I think she moved in in March. And then I moved out by, like, May 1st. I mean, me and my sister. But my sister has no insight to any of her emotions at all. So, like, she's mad at everybody else, but, like, doesn't see her part in any of it. So she was mad that, like, she had a baby with this married guy, he didn't leave his wife, and now I'm also moving back in. I'm in the bigger room. So she's mad about that because she has this baby in the small room, and then I can come and go as I please because I don't have a baby. So she's mad about that.

[Ryan Sickler]

So she. Is she pregnant or she have the baby at this point?

[Adrian Appaluci]

She has a baby in March. I think she's there. Yeah. I think she moved in in April. We lived together, like, a month or so. It was crazy because she resorted back to the stuff she was doing when we were kids. Like. Like, she was timing how long I was in the shower. She'd be like, why are you taking a second shower? Like, my sister's like, a Nazi. It's so crazy.

[Ryan Sickler]

Why are you taking a second shower? Why do you care?

[Adrian Appaluci]

I know she'll be like, you're in that. You're taking a second shower. Well, how come you're like. I was, like, depressed, too, because everything was just happening at once. So I'd be, like, sleeping during the day and then waking up and go doing my spots. And she's like, you just get up and leave whenever you want. It's like, I don't have a baby that's on you. But yeah, that. I mean, I lived there for like a month. It was so bad.

[Ryan Sickler]

And then where'd you head to?

[Adrian Appaluci]

Then I got my own place. Yeah. And I've just been there for like seven, seven years. Eight years. But yeah, that was a, that was a rough time.

[Ryan Sickler]

Do you want to get married?

[Adrian Appaluci]

I would like a partner. I don't necessarily need to be married. I do like my own space though. So I don't know. I have lived with several, several boyfriends. I. I don't know if I could do it again. No, I definitely don't want kids.

[Ryan Sickler]

Have you ever wanted them?

[Adrian Appaluci]

I don't know. I, I was never like that girl that was like, I want to get married and have kids. And then once I started doing stand up, it's like you're kind of too busy to have kids, you know, because you're like out every night. You know, there's a point where I had a full time job, Adam, doing comedy for like 13 years. So it's like, how am I having a baby? My ex fiance, he wanted a kid and when we went to therapy, my therapist like, have a kid with him. I'm like, oh no, the therapist told you to. Yeah. He was like, why don't you have. Because he felt like it was important to him and I was just like, no, I don't want to do that.

[Ryan Sickler]

It's better over here.

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[Adrian Appaluci]

Like me and my friend always talk about like if we had kids we'd be good mothers. But I don't want to make make sacrifices for it. You know what I mean? Like I just, yeah, I have a kid.

[Ryan Sickler]

I know.

[Adrian Appaluci]

I have a dog. It's hard.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yes, it is.

[Adrian Appaluci]

It's hard getting somebody to, like, watch my dog, and I just usually pay for it. It's like having a kid. It's, like, very expensive to have somebody watch your dog. That's why I actually need a boyfriend, too, to just watch my dog.

[Ryan Sickler]

Goes back to your mom?

[Adrian Appaluci]

Yeah, I am my mom's daughter.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah.

[Adrian Appaluci]

Yeah. And my mom's daughter just take care of my dog.

[Ryan Sickler]

So when you move back in with your mom and then out, is that around pandemic time? When is that?

[Adrian Appaluci]

No, that was like, 2017. So I lived by myself for a couple of years, and then the pandemic happened. I was dating another guy that was, like, a army veteran. He was insane.

[Ryan Sickler]

So no comics for you? It's all other people who have different trauma.

[Adrian Appaluci]

I mean, I did a comic when I first started. We were both new comics. That was the first army vet. And then when we broke up, he kind of just quit doing stand up, which I thought was nice.

[Ryan Sickler]

How do you meet army vets?

[Adrian Appaluci]

I don't know.

[Ryan Sickler]

You said the first one. So is that a thing for you?

[Adrian Appaluci]

I think they're just drawn to me. It's not like I'm looking for it. It's just what is drawn to me.

[Ryan Sickler]

So, Nat, when you ask and they say, you're not even surprised anymore. No. Wow.

[Adrian Appaluci]

I'm not like. I. It's funny because, like, doing the special, you get, like, messages from people, obviously. And somebody wrote to me, was like, oh, I thought you were attractive. And then, like, I'm watching this, and he's like, oh, I'm an army vet. This is why I like this girl. Like, it's just something about, like. I think veterans have, like, a dark sense. Dark, dark sense of humor. So it's like.

[Ryan Sickler]

So you get cops?

[Adrian Appaluci]

Not really. I. Kind of.

[Ryan Sickler]

Interesting.

[Adrian Appaluci]

It's a lot of veterans. Anyone with ptsd. I don't get a lot of cops, though.

[Ryan Sickler]

That's such an interesting thing. Veterans, huh?

[Adrian Appaluci]

Veterans, yeah. Firemen, I think I went on a day with a cop maybe one time or something, and he showed up, up to the Bronx, and he had, like, three or four Long island ics and then drove back to Queens. I'm like, you're wrecked right now. Which is crazy, but I do think a lot of cops do drink.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, God, yeah.

[Adrian Appaluci]

Yeah, yeah, for sure. Yeah. I don't know what I would have to date at this point, but I don't know.

[Ryan Sickler]

Do you like those guys?

[Adrian Appaluci]

I like aspects of it, yeah. You know, it's like anything. Like, I think my therapist that I've been with for A long time. He's like, you really need somebody you could work through problems with. With. Because then you see how that person, you can relate to one another. But that's the number one thing. I want somebody that I could, like, work through problems with. And not everything is, like, shutting down and, you know, fighting and arguing. Because I grew up with so much fighting too.

[Ryan Sickler]

So same. I mean, we have. I remember my cousin's wife one time, she's like, you. You argue just like your. My husband, your cousin. I was like, yeah, it's how we grew up. It's a lot of times it starts with, hey, most normal people are tuning out immediately. We turn around. You know what I mean? I'm like, what does this motherfucker gotta say? This is. Oh, yeah, I still think I was just telling my daughter this the other day because I took her to see Moana and she wanted to go see Wicked. I'm like, you can go see Wicked with your mom.

[Adrian Appaluci]

Right?

[Ryan Sickler]

I don't like musicals. I just. And I think it's the way I grew up. Like, I would seriously rather you yell at me and scream at me, then sing the Information to me. And I don't care what you're saying.

[Adrian Appaluci]

Right.

[Ryan Sickler]

I do not.

[Adrian Appaluci]

Musicals are not great.

[Ryan Sickler]

I can't stand the Information sung to me. Just yell.

[Adrian Appaluci]

Sure, yeah, I'm okay with it.

[Ryan Sickler]

I grew up like that.

[Adrian Appaluci]

Even, like, with dating. I would prefer not to date someone that has kids.

[Ryan Sickler]

You would?

[Adrian Appaluci]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

The last guy, ideally, probably everybody really would.

[Adrian Appaluci]

But yeah, the last guy did had kids and his kids were nice, but it's just like, I don't want to make sacrifices for someone else's kids. And I know it sounds, like, shitty, but it's just like, is it shitty? I'm just being honest. Like, if I was gonna make these sacrifices, I would have just had my own.

[Ryan Sickler]

Right? Yeah.

[Adrian Appaluci]

If somebody has older kids, that's fine. But, like, little kids now, I don't want to deal with that. I remember, like, going to his house. I think I had a show the night before, and I got home super late, and then at 7 o'clock in the morning, these kids are screaming and you're like, oh, I don't want to deal with this. That's like, they're like, young, young. That's gonna be a long time. You can't just be like, hey, I'm sleeping, because I. I have a dumb job where I'm getting home at 3am that was the first time I was like, oh, I don't. I don't want to do this. And they were nice kids. It has nothing to do with them.

[Ryan Sickler]

How old were they?

[Adrian Appaluci]

They were young. When we first started dating, I think they were four and six.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah.

[Adrian Appaluci]

And that's, like. Also. Yeah, it's very young.

[Ryan Sickler]

I was just very young.

[Adrian Appaluci]

I guess by the time we broke up, they were five and seven. And they were. They were sweet kids.

[Ryan Sickler]

They're still young. That's kindergarten still for 1 2.

[Adrian Appaluci]

If, like, I think if your kid's home and I'm there and I have to make sure they don't die, I don't want to do it.

[Ryan Sickler]

Listen, I don't blame you one bit for that.

[Adrian Appaluci]

I just.

[Ryan Sickler]

I don't think that makes you selfish or anything. Yeah, I get it. I would have had my own kid if I wanted to do that.

[Adrian Appaluci]

Yeah, I would have. And it's not like I'm bad to kids. I just. I used to nanny, too.

[Ryan Sickler]

You did?

[Adrian Appaluci]

Yeah. And everyone's always shocked. I'm like, it's not like I'm gonna put them in a garbage disposal.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah.

[Adrian Appaluci]

But, yeah, I prefer kids that are a bit older and, like, if I have to drive them somewhere, that's fine. But, like, I don't know. I don't want to be the person that's, like, making lasting impressions on your kids. I'd rather them not have me in their head. Just go. Go fill that with someone else from the library. Don't have me in there.

[Ryan Sickler]

So during the pandemic.

[Adrian Appaluci]

What happened during the pandemic?

[Ryan Sickler]

Dating this guy.

[Adrian Appaluci]

I was dating a different guy that was. And he was, like, insane. He was. He was an alcoholic. And, like, you ever talk to someone and their personality changes, and you're like, oh, you're insane on alcohol. I don't know if he was even, like, drunk. He would just be like, you know, do. Oh, you can find someone better than me. I'm no good. There was a lot of that, but then, like, just a different personality where, like, he. He wanted to take everything from me. Like, oh, no. If I was happy, he, like. I think at that time, I had done, like, the Degenerates on Netflix or something, and I'd shown it to him, and he's like, I'm gonna leak that. I'm gonna. Like, he would just be very spiteful. Like, it'd always be, you know, just say, I'm gonna go. Someone. I'm like, go ahead. I don't even care. Towards the end, he loved our dog, and he was like, we got into a fight and took a Knife and my dog. And he goes, say goodbye to Peggy. And I go, no. And I go, bye, Peggy. Because I knew he wasn't gonna do that. But I had had so much of it where I was like, bye, Peggy. I just. Like, I can't. You just hit a wall where you don't care anymore. And he didn't do anything. But he's the worst.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah, he did nothing.

[Adrian Appaluci]

He did nothing. He was a lot of talk, but, like, I just had reached a point where I was like, I don't care.

[Ryan Sickler]

They ever threaten you? These guys ever get physical with you? Or they just know better?

[Adrian Appaluci]

I think they know better. I've never had anyone, like, put their hands on me because that wouldn't. That wouldn't go well. Yeah, it's mostly emotional abuse, actually. Physical abuse would be preferable. I think I will. I mean, yeah, emotional abuse is like, you're just with somebody's head, which is like the mental.

[Ryan Sickler]

Long time. Punch me in the face.

[Adrian Appaluci]

Punch me in the face.

[Ryan Sickler]

Heal up. Before this.

[Adrian Appaluci]

I just.

[Ryan Sickler]

Memory of what you're putting in my head. I'm with you.

[Adrian Appaluci]

The mental gymnastics of, like, the games. And it's brutal. Oh, yeah. Even out, like, to try and date now. I'm like, me and my friend will just like, go on dating sites and like, it's almost like a game, just swiping. But, like, you're not gonna ever talk to these guys. It's just like a game.

[Ryan Sickler]

I wonder about that too. Like, you know, Mr. Right or Mrs. Right could be in there. But you really would have to go through every one of these people, like a job interview.

[Adrian Appaluci]

Right. And everyone's just swiping like this, you know, so also think of how many people I might have not dated if I didn't get to know them first. You know, there's people like. So it's like, you're not meeting these people. You don't know their personality. So. And everyone is just kind of set in their own ways now.

[Ryan Sickler]

Big. Well, at our age, for sure.

[Adrian Appaluci]

Yeah. So it's like, yeah, we're not gonna change each other.

[Ryan Sickler]

No.

[Adrian Appaluci]

Right. It's like, I'm not gonna get an alcoholic to change now. No, just be an alcoholic. Just. Just. We're not together. Like, that's fine. Just be an alcoholic and do what you're doing.

[Ryan Sickler]

And we're not together.

[Adrian Appaluci]

We're just not together. Like, let's. Let's stop, like, dragging this out. And you could only have the same argument somebody so many times where you're just like, I'm out over the summer. I got pantry moths, which has been probably worse than anything I've ever gone through. My whole.

[Ryan Sickler]

Pantry moths?

[Adrian Appaluci]

Yeah, it's worse than anything I've gone through my whole life. Forget my dad's. I. I mean, this really ruined my life.

[Ryan Sickler]

For months I've had roaches like a. But I've never had pantry balls.

[Adrian Appaluci]

So Pantry mods, I never had them either. They come in your grain. So they come in your oatmeal rice, I guess, like lentils. Maybe like bird feed it from the store. Yes.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, they're not getting in from outside and attacking?

[Adrian Appaluci]

No, no, no. They come in from, like, food. Like a food source. That ruined my whole fucking summer.

[Ryan Sickler]

What happened? What do you know what it was, what you brought in?

[Adrian Appaluci]

I'm not sure, but I also had stuff in there from the pandemic, so I don't know, maybe something. I have no idea where it came from.

[Ryan Sickler]

Breed like crazy. Is that what it is?

[Adrian Appaluci]

Yes. For three months, I was basically going from, like, my friend's house to a guy's house to my mom's house on the road. I was like this, because I was like, I can't live here with this. My apartment got exterminated like, eight times. So what I was gonna say is, like, not having my own space during that period. I was losing my mind. There were times I was going to a hotel and spending $1300 for five days just to, like, not be with my mom. So that's why I'm saying, like, I understand wanting to, like, just go be by yourself and decompress. That was like, the worst time for me. So I. I guess I don't realize how much I just want to also, like, decompress, be by myself. Especially, like, you're on the road, you're traveling, you're doing all this stuff, so. Yeah, I get it too.

[Ryan Sickler]

You're seeing all these people and, you.

[Adrian Appaluci]

Know, do you do, like, meet and greets after? Yeah, yeah. So then you're talking more and meeting.

[Ryan Sickler]

Each person and, you know, having a real moment with them and stuff too. And you're doing that for two or four shows or whatever you're doing that weekend. And then when I come home. Yeah, I don't want to fucking talk to anybody. And also, I just met good people. You know what I mean? People I would want to talk to. Not just some rando drunk that's coming over about whatever's going on. We've got a real connection.

[Adrian Appaluci]

You have a common interest. Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

So that's what's really nice. It's like going to meet friends on the road and then you go and I'm done. All right. This is really fun. Thank you for doing this.

[Adrian Appaluci]

Thanks for having me.

[Ryan Sickler]

I want to ask you, I told you before, advice you would give to your 16 year old self and I really want to hear it.

[Adrian Appaluci]

I would say my advice to my 16 year old self is like, this is the best it's ever gonna be. Don't. That's crazy. It's all downhill from here. This is the best it's ever going to be. Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Why? What's happening at 16?

[Adrian Appaluci]

I don't know. It was just the best time. Like, it was 1994. The mute. It was like the best music. Like, you don't really have any responsibilities. You're hanging out with your friends every day. Like, I guess as a kid you forget you're not gonna hang out with your friends every single day. When you get older, like, you just kind of take that for granted. And then my dad died, but a couple years later, so it's like that was just like the most carefree time of my life.

[Ryan Sickler]

I see.

[Adrian Appaluci]

Yeah, it was just the most fun. I don't know. I've had other good years too, but, like, that was a good year.

[Ryan Sickler]

That's funny. That's good though.

[Adrian Appaluci]

Is it? Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Promote whatever again. You're special. All that.

[Adrian Appaluci]

Go watch the dark queen on Netflix. Go buy merch. I have I met the Clintons and I have a joke about it and I have a picture of me with him and it just says I met the Clintons and love to talk about it. I hope we sell enough shirts that, like, they get mad.

[Ryan Sickler]

Have they said anything yet?

[Adrian Appaluci]

No, because it's not like, big enough. I'd like to get the Clintons upset. See me on the road. I have a lot of dates coming up. I'm going to be touring with Ari Shafir a bit and then probably Louie towards the end of the year. But I'm doing my own headlining dates also, so just go check me out. Adrian appalucci.com thank you.

[Ryan Sickler]

Thank you for doing this.

[Adrian Appaluci]

Thanks for having me.

[Ryan Sickler]

A lot of fun as always. Ryan Sickler on all your social media. Ryan sickler.com come see me on the road. Tickets are on my website. We'll talk to y'all next week.

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