Ari Shaffir - AriDew

Summary

Podcast Summary: The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler – Episode: Ari Shaffir - AriDew

Introduction

In the January 20, 2025 episode of The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler, comedian Ari Shaffir joins host Ryan Sickler for an engaging and heartfelt conversation. The episode, titled "AriDew," delves deep into Ari's personal life, his relationship with his parents, reflections on mortality, and the unique challenges and insights that come with an aging family.

Ari Shaffir’s Comedy Career and New Special

The episode kicks off with Ryan promoting his Patreon tiers, but quickly shifts focus to Ari Shaffir. Ryan expresses admiration for Ari's accomplishments, particularly highlighting his latest comedy special, "America’s Sweetheart," which Ari proudly announces has recently been released and is set to appear on Netflix around April or May 2025.

Discussion on Comedy and Milestones

Ryan remarks on Ari’s pioneering efforts in the comedy scene, noting, “You have taken Comedy Central, the first digital platform to network.” They discuss the longevity of Ari's special, which has been out for nearly three years, and the challenges of keeping comedic material relevant over such an extended period.

Ari’s Family Dynamics and Parents’ Health

A significant portion of the conversation centers around Ari's parents. Ari reveals that he turned 50 during the interview and shares that both his parents are alive and healthy, with his father being around 89 years old and his mother approximately 83-84. This leads to a touching discussion about his father's adventurous spirit and resilience. Ari recounts a poignant story:

[04:55] Ari Shaffir: "I called to get a pickle recipe. My dad's old, Romanian, pre-war. And then during war, then post-war, they left Romania. But I called to get a pickle recipe. How do you put whatever."

His mother’s mysterious response about his father’s whereabouts piques his curiosity, culminating in the revelation that his father had embarked on a solo hike up Mount Kilimanjaro at the age of 83—a feat that astonished everyone.

Mount Kilimanjaro Expedition and Reflections on Mortality

Ari describes his father's Mount Kilimanjaro expedition, emphasizing the determination and secretive nature of the journey:

[07:07] Ari Shaffir: "Sorry, I gotta see this right? I gotta get this right. Boom. This message came through from my dad."

The discussion naturally transitions into deeper reflections on death and legacy. Ryan shares his own fears and experiences with losing his father, who died shortly after Ryan returned home from the hospital. This mutual conversation highlights the complexities of coping with loss and the varying ways individuals process grief.

Empathy and Understanding Without Parenthood

Ari and Ryan explore the concept of empathy, especially from Ryan’s perspective as a non-parent. Ari expresses a nuanced view of parenting, acknowledging the sacrifices parents make while also recognizing the personal freedoms lost:

[16:48] Ari Shaffir: "What they gave up. [...] you gave up a lot for us. [...] dealing with my acting up in school."

Ryan adds, reflecting on his relationship with his own parents, saying, “It’s not about a number that’s tagged attached to me. I just feel younger than that man.”

Personal Experiences with Near-Death Situations

The conversation takes a dramatic turn as Ryan recounts a harrowing experience in Mexico where he narrowly escaped a potentially fatal accident:

[50:18] Ryan Sickler: "We stopped. He goes, it's right here on your left. [...] And I stepped out, and here comes an F1 50 pickup truck. [...] I would have been pinned in that sheet metal."

This story serves as a catalyst for discussions about life changes post-trauma. Ryan shares that such experiences have led him to make healthier lifestyle choices, including reducing alcohol consumption:

[53:04] Ryan Sickler: "I started drinking a lot less. A lot less. I'd go up and I haven't had drank in two years now."

Ari reflects on his own encounters with death, mentioning the passing of fellow comedians and the serene way some handle their final moments, expressing a desire for a peaceful end.

Memorialization and Legacy

Ari and Ryan delve into their thoughts on how they wish to be remembered. Ryan humorously suggests a unique memorialization method:

[26:21] Ryan Sickler: "I would want a 50.50ra. Come have a party and somebody bounces out of it. Half goes to the party funds. The other half goes to somebody gets a walk home."

Ari contemplates more traditional and meaningful approaches, such as dispersing ashes in beloved natural settings, emphasizing the importance of being remembered through actions and memories rather than grand gestures.

Coping with Loss and Continuing Bonds

Both speakers discuss how they maintain connections with those who have passed. Ari shares his personal ritual of visiting cemeteries and reflecting on the lives inscribed on the tombstones, fostering a sense of ongoing bond with the departed:

[41:48] Ari Shaffir: "I always like to hang Joe Liston and I, it's like we were the only ones were. [...] but, like, I could have hung out in Africa."

Ryan echoes similar sentiments, highlighting the enduring impact of loss on personal relationships and mental well-being.

Ari’s Final Thoughts and Comedy Promotion

Towards the end of the episode, Ari shifts the conversation back to his career, promoting his Netflix special "America’s Sweetheart." He encourages listeners to support the show by watching it in its entirety, aiding in its visibility on streaming platforms.

Closing Remarks

The episode concludes with a blend of humor and heartfelt appreciation between Ryan and Ari. They exchange well-wishes and affirm their enduring friendship, wrapping up a conversation that oscillated between light-hearted banter and profound personal revelations.

Notable Quotes

• Ari Shaffir on His Father’s Expedition:

  “[07:07] Ari Shaffir: 'Sorry, I gotta see this right? I gotta get this right. Boom. This message came through from my dad.'”

• Ryan Sickler on Changing His Lifestyle:

  “[53:04] Ryan Sickler: 'I started drinking a lot less. A lot less. I'd go up and I haven't had drank in two years now.'”

• Ari Shaffir on Memorialization:

  “[26:21] Ryan Sickler: 'I would want a 50.50ra. Come have a party and somebody bounces out of it. Half goes to the party funds. The other half goes to somebody gets a walk home.'”

Conclusion

This episode of The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler offers listeners a deep and introspective look into Ari Shaffir’s life, exploring themes of family, mortality, and personal growth. Through candid storytelling and meaningful exchanges, both Ryan and Ari provide valuable insights into navigating life’s darker moments with humor and resilience. Whether discussing near-death experiences or the complexities of parent-child relationships, the conversation remains both relatable and thought-provoking, embodying the essence of The HoneyDew’s mission to highlight and laugh at life's lowlights.

Transcript

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The Fall Line is a deep dive true crime podcast focused on cold cases that could be resolved if the public knew about them. You'll hear about missing people whose families have been searching for decades. John and Jane Doe cases from across the country in desperate need of public attention. Unsolved serial homicides like the Atlanta Lovers Lane murders that never made the national news. The Fall Line digs deep, interviewing the families, law enforcement and experts closest to the crimes to bring you cases you've never heard of and explore what can be done today to solve them. Find the Fall Line wherever you listen to podcasts.

[Ryan Sickler]

Guys, we have a new tier on our Patreon and it includes exclusive bonus content. Listen up. Right now, for just $5, you get the Honeydew a day early, you get it ad free and you get a full bonus episode of the Honeydew with y'all where listeners highlight their lowlights and it's going to stay that way. Five bucks. And for just $3 more, you're also going to get the way back a day early and ad free. But that's not all. You'll get exclusive bonus content with the guests, some fun segments, maybe some games and we'd love to get you guys involved. And that's all for only $3 more. And there's no censorship on any of the Patreon episodes. Subscribe now. The Honeydew with Ryan Sickler welcome back to the Honeydew, y'all. We're over here doing it in the Night Pants studios. You know who I am. Ryan Sickler.com Ryan Sickler on all your social media, starting this episode like I start them all by saying thank you. Thank you for whatever you do that supports anything I do. I don't care if it's just telling someone about the shows, whatever it is. Thank you very much. If you got to have more, you know, you got to check out our Patreon Honeydew with y'all, best show on Patreon for five bucks. And we got that new tier now where you get the way back a day early ad free, all sensor free and exclusive bonus content. It's only three bucks more. Go check it out. All right. You know what we do here? We highlight the low lights. And I always say, these are the stories behind the storytellers. And I'm very excited to have this guest back here on the honeydew, ladies and gentlemen. All right, Shafir.

[Ari Shaffir]

Thank you. Thank you, buddy. Thank you. Happy New Year.

[Ryan Sickler]

Promote everything you want. You got a new special out right now.

[Ari Shaffir]

Special just came out. America, sweetheart. Yeah. I'm stoked people to finally see it. You've been working on these things for.

[Ryan Sickler]

A while, but you also have Jew is also available on Netflix now or not yet?

[Ari Shaffir]

No, not yet. Not until like, April or May. They're going to figure out how long the. The hype for this one lasts and then put out.

[Ryan Sickler]

Dude, you really. You're impressive, man. You're. You have taken Comedy Central, the first digital platform to network.

[Ari Shaffir]

That's right.

[Ryan Sickler]

This is not happening.

[Ari Shaffir]

That's right.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah. You did that. Now you're the first comedian to get an already existing sp. And for how long? How long's that special been out now? Is a year and a half.

[Ari Shaffir]

Two years and a half years. Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

By the time it hits, it'll be two and a half years.

[Ari Shaffir]

You're almost three.

[Ryan Sickler]

I mean, think about that.

[Ari Shaffir]

And they're like, no, we don't do three years.

[Ryan Sickler]

But something three years old. Not. Not just six months ago or. Yeah, yeah.

[Ari Shaffir]

But also it's like the references are 2000 years old, so it's not like it's timely, you know, but like, good for you. Yeah, exactly. Their boss was like, why didn't we get that one? And they were like, I don't know. So there was, like, pressure from their boss. It was great. Take it. New life into it, you know?

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah.

[Ari Shaffir]

All we want is people to see our stuff.

[Ryan Sickler]

That's it.

[Ari Shaffir]

That same as painters. Just like if it's got to be a coffee shop, just someone.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah.

[Ari Shaffir]

You can't just have it in my own studio.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yes. Yeah.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah. So stoked.

[Ryan Sickler]

All right. So something I wanted to talk to you about because you're 50 now, you said, and your parents are both alive, both healthy, Both in their 80s.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

How old's dad?

[Ari Shaffir]

That's 89, maybe 88. Tough to remember exactly. She's right around 83, 84. Oh, yeah. He got. He robbed that crate A little bit, you know what year, what year? It was like probably the 60s. Like. Yeah, he was probably like 31. She's probably like 25. Something, something like.

[Ryan Sickler]

Good for your dad.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Is your dad, Mom. Are they mostly driving? Yeah, they are.

[Ari Shaffir]

Oh, yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Physically walking? No problems or anything?

[Ari Shaffir]

It's problems. So we went to Zion.

[Ryan Sickler]

Kane or walker problems or.

[Ari Shaffir]

Okay, just. My dad is a, was a hiker and only recently had a couple knee surgeries. We're on a bridge in Maryland, like in the, some potato gardens. He slipped. Ah, he just like cracked. So then it was like we went to Zion, but he's hiking around the flat hikes, you know, still doing that. Mom's still doing that. Some surgeries and stuff. But dude, my dad, I don't actually, I don't know if I told you that one time, my dad. So I called to get a pickle recipe. My dad's old, Romanian, pre, pre war. And then during war, then post war, they left Mermania. But I called to get a pickle recipe. How do you put whatever. My call my mom, where's dad? Home. She goes, he's not here. I can't tell you where he is. I'm like, okay, you could. I mean, what that's like, now my interest is peaked for sure. And I was like, where is he? She goes, I'm like, is he giving him later? She goes, no, I, I can't tell you anymore. I'm like, I mean, you're begging me to ask questions now. So I'm like, where? I, I knew he was like doing a bunch of hiking with like his hike group, you know, I was like, are they hiking the Appalachian Trail? Like I, I, I, I remember him sort of saying he was going to maybe do that. She go, stop asking me. I can't tell you. Which is like, then you, of course, call my siblings. What's up with that? I don't know. He won't tell me. Four days later, I was like, anyway, where's dad? She goes, he's not home. And I'm like, what is this? Nothing, nothing, nothing. Then I get a. Taking this out for a reason. Then one day they're like, oh, I just got a message from them. Where's, where's albums? Here we go. Here we go. I just got a message and it is. Sorry, I gotta see this right? I gotta get this right. Boom. This message came through from my dad.

[Ryan Sickler]

After how many days?

[Ari Shaffir]

12 days.

[Ryan Sickler]

12 days?

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

You have no contact, haven't heard. Mom's like, just shut up about this.

[Ari Shaffir]

No idea where he is.

[Ryan Sickler]

Mount Kilimanjaro. Congratulations. You're now at. Oh, how do you say it? Uhuru Peak, Tanzania. Africa's highest point.

[Ari Shaffir]

83.

[Ryan Sickler]

83 year old Holocaust survivor conquers Mount Kilimanjaro. Will you send us this picture?

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

That's amazing.

[Ari Shaffir]

It was. I was like, what?

[Ryan Sickler]

Wow.

[Ari Shaffir]

He.

[Ryan Sickler]

And it's not like an easy hiking polls. Hell no.

[Ari Shaffir]

The Last day is 12 hours because you got to get there at noon, so you got to start hiking at night because it's so cold up there. And he just didn't tell anybody that he was even training for it. He was the whole time putting rocks in his bags.

[Ryan Sickler]

Really?

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah. I thought he had a sandwich. He just filled it with rocks, trying to, like, do his own rocky style version of like.

[Ryan Sickler]

Were they ever smokers or drinkers or did they live healthy?

[Ari Shaffir]

My dad lives healthy. Also. Holocaust survivors. I don't know what it is. No one knows what it is. A shockingly high percentage live to see 100.

[Ryan Sickler]

Is that right?

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah. I think it just shows the value of a. You even a temporary diet with low in trans fats. But he almost didn't tell my mom. He said the last minute goes, you know, something happens. Extra Miller. So he was like, all right, what?

[Ryan Sickler]

Okay, hold on. Let's pause for a second. What happens if you get a call that your dad died while hiking to the top of Mount Kilimanjaro?

[Ari Shaffir]

Great. Good thought. There's gonna be some wrapping your head around, right?

[Ryan Sickler]

A lot.

[Ari Shaffir]

But any of that, you know, if someone died, like when Brody went. They're like, could I have done anything what did it? And they're. Yeah, we could have. I. I saw clues. I could have if. If my dad was like. If they were. My mom was like, yeah, you know, dad went up there and just like, when I was like, what? I didn't know that. And he died, he'd be like, no, there's nothing I could have done. I didn't know. Also, it rules as a way to. If you're gonna die in your. In your 80s, that's the way to go. Falling off a cliff in Africa.

[Ryan Sickler]

I'm just thinking you're freezing and starving.

[Ari Shaffir]

Oh, my God.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yours is way more heroic. Mine is just like, we're out of food.

[Ari Shaffir]

Look at each other. Like, your thigh looks pretty big. Yeah. The hammock die.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah. You started to start hiking. It. It was like 100 degrees for the first couple days. And then as you get higher and higher, it gets colder and colder. Bundled there yeah, they have the Sherpas. They called him. Forget what his name was. They call him Grandpa.

[Ryan Sickler]

But that's the other thing. There's people that just take you up there. They've done it a bunch.

[Ari Shaffir]

A couple people had to be taken down.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah.

[Ari Shaffir]

Got the altitude poisoning. They had to be carried down. And then the sherpus came. I was like, let me keep going. We'll meet you.

[Ryan Sickler]

What's your dad doing the train for the altitude?

[Ari Shaffir]

Nothing. That's what I'm saying. It wasn't even the right training. Rocks in your bag doesn't help you.

[Ryan Sickler]

With low oxygen, thin air. No, it does not.

[Ari Shaffir]

It's just his I'm desired. Like, I'm gonna do this. At 65, he ran his first marathon.

[Ryan Sickler]

Did he?

[Ari Shaffir]

Out of the blue, out of nowhere, he was just like, I'm doing him. Doing. Yeah. But he. The last mile or so, he was just like. I was like, dead. But he's like, there's just no quitting, that guy. So. Yeah, it was like, what? I mean, they asked me, like, would you have gone with him? Like, I mean, I wouldn't have hiked it, but I would have hung out in Africa. I would have hang out in Tanzania, eating some food, waiting for him for sure. But. Yeah. I can't imagine. Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Is your mom active like that? I mean, obviously not like that. That's.

[Ari Shaffir]

No. They walk around the neighborhood, you know.

[Ryan Sickler]

Your mom, is she swim? Does she have a little walk?

[Ari Shaffir]

She's too exercise, which is like. Which is the most underrated form of self defense. I remember jazzercise was big bro Ty Bo after that.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah.

[Ari Shaffir]

Jazzercise was for old people, but Marva Tots and teens was for young people. Did they have that? Baltimore.

[Ryan Sickler]

What was it?

[Ari Shaffir]

Marva Tots.

[Ryan Sickler]

Marva Tots.

[Ari Shaffir]

Marva Tots and Marva Teens.

[Ryan Sickler]

I don't know about.

[Ari Shaffir]

It was like gymnastics.

[Ryan Sickler]

It must be Maryland, Virginia. Marva. Yep.

[Ari Shaffir]

Just realized. Yep. Yep. Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

You're down on that part of Mary.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Marva thought.

[Ari Shaffir]

You ever have something that you realize decades later, we're like, oh, of course. Never thought of it that way.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah. Well, not. I'll tell you something. It was more of a. Not thought of it that way. And I'm. It was embarrassed to admit it too. But as a huge baseball fan. A huge sports fan. One day I'm staring at the Milwaukee brewers hat and I don't. I always saw it as a glove with a ball.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

And then one day I stare and I'm like, oh, my God, you saw.

[Ari Shaffir]

It on your own?

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah. I didn't hear about it or anything. I just looked and I was like, oh, my God, that's an Eminem B. And I was like, that might be the greatest sports logo.

[Ari Shaffir]

Kevin. Chris told me about it, but he's an illustrator. Yeah. With a glove.

[Ryan Sickler]

It's fun.

[Ari Shaffir]

I would have just done mb, but not. I would have made it into a glove.

[Ryan Sickler]

It's. I never even saw the MB for. I probably. I bet I was like 20 or something by the time I was like.

[Ari Shaffir]

Oh, my God, you know about FedEx?

[Ryan Sickler]

Yep. The arrow.

[Ari Shaffir]

The Arrow. I just. I was walking with Rogan into Tempe Improv and he said something about the Doobie Brothers were like a big pot band. I'm like, really? He's like, doobie? I'm like, yep, yep.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah.

[Ari Shaffir]

When I first heard that. That band name, I didn't know what a Dube was. Sure. So I was just like, doobie. Doobie do. It's like, no dork. Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

So have you thought about your parents passing and.

[Ari Shaffir]

No, they're not gonna. But, like. But are yours.

[Ryan Sickler]

My dad died when I was 16. My mom's now 77. 78.

[Ari Shaffir]

How's she doing?

[Ryan Sickler]

She's great. My mom's out there living her life. She's a groupie or. Yeah, she's a groupie for a. You ready for this? My mom's a groupie. Well, I'll say this for an age appropriate. She's 77. It's an age appropriate. They're all old dudes, but like a cover band. And they do songs like Mustang Sally and Purple Rain and like that.

[Ari Shaffir]

She comes and throws pennies this big at them.

[Ryan Sickler]

I don't know if she throws panties, but she's. She's at every show.

[Ari Shaffir]

You can't really throw grandma pennies up. Except. Excuse me, can you pass this to the next guy? Just let them know.

[Ryan Sickler]

Nobody that age is throwing anything. Like, she goes to all their shows and. But I mean, listen, bro, I don't know who's booking them, but they got. Man, they perform sometimes on the library.

[Ari Shaffir]

Oh, really?

[Ryan Sickler]

But. But then they perform at all these other places, too. Tons of them. They're just out there gigging. And my mom is a groupie for this band with like a few of her other old lady friends. And they go to every show. Everyone.

[Ari Shaffir]

How the hell's the band, like, all.

[Ryan Sickler]

Probably in their 70s, too. I'm saying it's age appropriate. She's not running around like 20, but.

[Ari Shaffir]

I think maybe 55 year olds were like, oh, you boys are cute.

[Ryan Sickler]

No, she's in her 70s with these old dudes and just. That's what my mom does. And I was like, my mom is. My mom still acts like she never had kids.

[Ari Shaffir]

Oh, wow.

[Ryan Sickler]

You look at someone's Facebook page, you're like, that lady looks like she didn't have kids. I'm like, because she didn't. Yeah, she did it.

[Ari Shaffir]

I got to connect with my parents more recently because, I mean, like, about what? Just in this. In just as a adult in life. Because I always saw them as the parents who never did anything wrong. And then, you know, you get to that age where you're like, I'm 31. I'm like, oh, I remember when my mom was 31, teaching me something, and I'm like, I thought she knew everything. And I'm like, I'm that age and I don't know, you know, I try. It's like, you know, all the mistakes you make there. I'm trying to take a week off alcohol. That lasted two days, five times in a row. You know, it's like that. My mom was that age, you know, the fucking dumb. When I told her, like, you ever read like Catcher in the Ride? She goes, yeah. I'm like, what happened with this character? I don't remember. I'm like, what do you mean you don't remember? You read it or you didn't? Because I had read six books back then, you know, but like, so like those moments that you get where you're like, oh, I'm starting to understand who you are. But I still see them as on this pedestal thing.

[Ryan Sickler]

It's interesting you say that because I'm nine years older than my father ever was. And I still don't feel. I still feel like that man's son.

[Ari Shaffir]

Right, Right.

[Ryan Sickler]

If that makes any sense. It's not about a number that's tag attached to me. I just feel younger than that man. Even though I'm outlived his ass, right?

[Ari Shaffir]

Because like, he gets older. It's the way you can still have a crush on somebody from. From 9th grade, but that's like a 15 year old. But you're looking at in your brain, you're looking at them as an even playing field. So they're kind of gotten older in your head. But if you actually look at an old yearbook, like they were all children, but you're like, you're still like, oh, she was so hot.

[Ryan Sickler]

And you think about what you did at like 20, 31 I'4 years in the Comedy. I know. I know nothing about anything.

[Ari Shaffir]

Wow. Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

And there's People have. So here's the thing that's interesting for you. You don't have kids.

[Ari Shaffir]

No.

[Ryan Sickler]

And a lot of people who do.

[Ari Shaffir]

Haven'T almost made a boy. Almost made a boy.

[Ryan Sickler]

A lot of people who do hit that point where that it comes to them like, man, how did you do this? Mom and dad, how'd you do that? How'd you. So how what. What hits you? If it's not a child or being in their shoes, literally a role that they've had. What you know, as a. As a. A man with no kids, a non parent. What hits you to reflect on. Wow. My parents were such good at their. Were great at their job or weren't great at their job.

[Ari Shaffir]

I guess what I think too is like what they gave up. Because like I'm now at the age where I see guys like you, everybody, Segura, every Duncan who have kids and their lives shifted irrevocably. And I. I get the love, but I'm also like pretty happy. I'm like, oh, no, it's a trap to, you know. And so like, I'm like, oh, man, you gave up a lot for us. Like you could have been doing fun stuff that ended just to like wipe my ass, you know, just to have to deal with my fucking acting up in school. And then you realize like, oh, you were a 36 year old. You had to go into PTA meetings instead of going on dates, going to see this new movie. You had to go deal with this shit. And I'm like, oh, that sucked. So it's almost like empathy instead of relating. It's like, damn. And someone's like, thanks, but also, I wouldn't ask you to do that again. So I got in. Covid was the cool thing. I try to see the positives and all. That's my specials about. And like everything there's something positive, you know?

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah, there is.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah. Sugor moves to Austin. Hey, you can't be part of my network anymore. Oh, fuck no. I got to grow and become this bigger thing now. You know, it was a blessing. Maybe in disguise, maybe not. That's what I mean. I'm talking about you. Oh yeah, I know. It's a Sam.

[Ryan Sickler]

Thanks, man. You can tell how I used to compliment. It's a good credit.

[Ari Shaffir]

I am. I've done similar things. And that thing you're saying is about me.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah. Yeah. That doesn't happen without all that. Yeah.

[Ari Shaffir]

So covet hit. And it's like My dad's like, hey, you don't want to be. You don't want to be. I mean, that's when lockdown was happening, you know, can you even go to the supermarket maybe In. In shifts? New York apartment. The only thing that we like, oh, this place sucks. Like, we're not in our apartments. And then suddenly everybody was like, we're in our apartments. So he's like, come to the burbs. Come live a go quarantine because we're old, you know, for two weeks, and then just come right. Right from that to us. Okay. Got an Airbnb with a dog. And then we. I went there, and it was like. It was like three or four months of, like. We don't really have to do anything. So I go on walks with them around the neighborhood. We start getting into talks. It wasn't like. It wasn't like, you know, you come over, like, what can I make for you? Cook the surface stuff. It was. After a while, it was like, deeper than that. You know, I remember one time I took some. Some. I peeled some garlic, and my dad is, okay, can I talk to you upstairs, please? He goes, what do you see here? And it's all, you know, he's ex military, ex Holocaust. And it's like. And I'm like, what sink? He goes, what's in it? I'm like, some garlic peels. He goes, right. You think I would do that to your apartment, to your place? And I'm like, oh, I. I mean, I do that to my place. It's in the sink. And he goes, just clean it. I'm like, dude, we just have a different level of cleanliness. I thought I did. I moved it off the counter.

[Ryan Sickler]

He wanted you to rinse it down.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah. Get it like garbage. Yeah. I'm like, oh, I wasn't even thinking. I was taking the easy way out. And it's like, oh, we're different people. You just get to know them as their adult selves. And it was like, what a. I hate using the Simone term, but, like, what a blessing to get to do that. Yeah. I mean, you know. You know it is, but it was, like, cool to get to know them as that. And then, like, my mom likes a glass of rose watching the sunset through the trees in the backyard that they earned. They're just seeing them enjoy the simpler things. My dad built a sauna is downstairs. So that's a Jew. Is like, dream. That's our Mercedes Benz home sauna, you know? Yeah. So we'd swap off. Swap off using It. Oh, it was just so cool. But, like, I never knew them as, like, humans like that before.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah.

[Ari Shaffir]

Deep into my 40s, man. It's kind of nice. So I'm just enjoying that kind of stuff. Like, what else are you into? How are your friends?

[Ryan Sickler]

I. I completely understand. I. So after my father dies, we're. We move in with our grandmother. His mom, she drops dead, literally, in front of us. Now we're homeless. Her sister, my great aunt. Okay. My Aunt Marguerite is raising her three grandkids. But she says if you're working and you're going to college, you can absolutely sleep on the couch. Huh.

[Ari Shaffir]

To your mom?

[Ryan Sickler]

No, to you.

[Ari Shaffir]

Okay.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah. My mom's long gone. She's not even an option.

[Ari Shaffir]

It's so crazy to have a parent.

[Ryan Sickler]

Like, who's in the world and is not an option for anything.

[Ari Shaffir]

I can't head around it.

[Ryan Sickler]

A hug, nothing.

[Ari Shaffir]

It's so.

[Ryan Sickler]

Phone call that says, hey, I know you're going through. So I know you just lost your dad and your grandma. You want to come over for some meatballs? Nothing.

[Ari Shaffir]

We had just to show. We had two families from our community that were divorced of 600 of all.

[Ryan Sickler]

The kids in school.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Two.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Damn.

[Ari Shaffir]

So it's like this idea that I don't even talk to my mom is like. It's like I can't wrap my head around it.

[Ryan Sickler]

25 years of zero contact until my daughter is born. But, yeah, so it's not even an option. So my Aunt Marguerite's like, I. I'm going to Towson. At the time, I'm working at UPS. Shout out to UPS Baltimore Ho. Primary 1 Joe Avenue. I'm doing 4pm to 2 to 3am there.

[Ari Shaffir]

Charles Street.

[Ryan Sickler]

Towson was on Charles Street.

[Ari Shaffir]

Long term, still attacked. Short term, gone. What's your last name again?

[Ryan Sickler]

Loyola was there too. Loyola. Towson on the way into the city, just straight out Charles Street. So she's like, you can live here and sit on the couch if you want until you find a place. Because she knows I'm gonna be looking for an apartment. You know, I'm hustling. I'm not a bum. And we were close. So I stayed there from, like, December to February. We had another cousin who died during that time. And I got so fucking close with my aunt and my cousins, and we would play cards every night. And I got to know them as people on a daily basis and not just, I'm coming to hang out with you for a weekend. I won't see you for a couple months or you're watching.

[Ari Shaffir]

Let me be nice.

[Ryan Sickler]

I'm watching how they bathroom habits and this and that, eating habits. And my aunt Marguerite's like, watch it. She would always cuss. She was the sister that cuss. She's like, watch this, Ryan, he cheats. And he would, he'd have cards under his leg. She's like, I told you, son of a cheats. You gotta watch.

[Ari Shaffir]

See their humor.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yep, all of it. And then also she's my grandmom's sister, so there's a family historian. Everybody's gone already. So I'm like, what was dad like when he was a kid? What was. You know what I mean? I've got someone to talk to me about cuz she, her, his mom's gone, he's gone. So I don't even know.

[Ari Shaffir]

And she'll give you the real that you wouldn't even got from him.

[Ryan Sickler]

And I did, you know, your grandmother lent your cousin some of your dads. I said, nah, you know, oh yeah, oh yeah, they're gone now. You know what I mean?

[Ari Shaffir]

I'm like, yeah, little things. Like your dad was really bad in school. He was like a real troublemaker. No, but right around college, he came into his army, came the guy, you know, now like, like that we're like.

[Ryan Sickler]

Like your mom was head over heels for your dad. We can't even believe she would come over crying when he was in the military for Vietnam and blah, blah, blah, you know, that kind of. You don't know anything.

[Ari Shaffir]

I just found out the story. I don't know if I'm getting all the details right, but my mom would not go out. She was on a business trip to New York, Atlanta, Georgia, and my dad was like, whoa, this chick. Back then you were just like, you just pretty much harass someone and it was romantic. Yeah. But asked her out. She was like, no, no. He kept asking out, no, I can't, I can't. He's like, why? Just tell like why? She goes, you know, he's an immigrant from Israel. And she's like, what? Come on. She goes, I can't. I'm Jewish and I can't date a Puerto Rican. He goes, oh, he's never heard this accent before.

[Ryan Sickler]

Is that what it was?

[Ari Shaffir]

I'm from Israel, I got the credentials. Here's my tattoo.

[Ryan Sickler]

Puerto Rican is hilarious.

[Ari Shaffir]

You seem nice. It's just my parents. We match.

[Ryan Sickler]

So you're all right. Your parents are healthy, so you're not worried so much about having to take care of them. We just went through this On. On my daughter's mom's side. Her mom passed, so they were in the whole process of, you know, hospice and long term, you know, cares and all. And so many people sit there and tell me about these things. But what about you?

[Ari Shaffir]

You know what. You know, what they.

[Ryan Sickler]

What do you worry about? Do you ever think about your death?

[Ari Shaffir]

Me die? Yeah. Sometimes I feel like you would go on. Like, if they had to Simmons about this, if they had to take up a. You know when a comedian dies and they go, oh, shit, first we all meet and then it's like fundraiser becomes the next thing. So it's usually for like their family or. Or the funeral cost to make sure it's done right.

[Ryan Sickler]

Whatever, whatever.

[Ari Shaffir]

And then sometimes just for like a thing they would believe in. And you meet every year and you just raise money for something. And I wonder if the comic would be like, don't give a about that. I would just care about that. That that year, you know, like. Like, if someone misunderstood you, they'd be like, I guess we should give money to the Maryland government. Like, no, no, no. I like Maryland.

[Ryan Sickler]

You're getting it wrong.

[Ari Shaffir]

So, like, what would you want them.

[Ryan Sickler]

How to memorialize you in a way.

[Ari Shaffir]

Who. If they're going to do a fundraiser, let's say.

[Ryan Sickler]

I see. I. I wouldn't even want. I mean, I know.

[Ari Shaffir]

Okay, so that's great. That's fine too.

[Ryan Sickler]

I wouldn't want a fundraiser.

[Ari Shaffir]

You'd want. What do you. What you want?

[Ryan Sickler]

I would want a 50.50ra. Come have a party and somebody bounces out of it. Half goes to the party funds. The other half goes to somebody gets a walk home.

[Ari Shaffir]

That would be sick.

[Ryan Sickler]

I would love that.

[Ari Shaffir]

Guys, guys, use your memory of Sickler to come have a good time.

[Ryan Sickler]

50 buck 50. 50. You got a chance. Somebody's got a real good chance of walking with some money, man. Be like 1 in 20 odds, man.

[Ari Shaffir]

That would be nice. Would have wanted us to meet up and. Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Have hang and smoke and drink and talk. Catch up with everybody. It's the only time we ever look also, as a person who grew up that way, we. Did you have family reunions? No, we never did. Yeah, we. I accidentally went to one one time, which is a story. I'll tell you quick, but we would see each other at funerals. We had. We had a big Italian family and we had so many people dropping that the get togethers were.

[Ari Shaffir]

We're all based on that.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah. So then when you're seeing your cousins, you want to laugh and you. Because you're not getting. These are brothers and sisters from a different parents. You want to hang and play, so you can't help busting balls. Then you're developing these dark senses of humor because we're laughing at the.

[Ari Shaffir]

That it's. That it's not like you didn't meet up for a. A wedding. You're meeting up for a funeral.

[Ryan Sickler]

So it's all the darkest possible.

[Ari Shaffir]

Wow.

[Ryan Sickler]

And everyone's upset because everybody loved this person and we're all going to do that, but we're just kids.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

We made a family death pool. We had that going for a while.

[Ari Shaffir]

Oh, really? That's fun.

[Ryan Sickler]

We had so many people.

[Ari Shaffir]

That's fun.

[Ryan Sickler]

We had a family death pool. We had. And now we're that age. You know, it's our turn now for people to be like, I think Uncle Ryan's.

[Ari Shaffir]

I mean, it would, It'd be too early if you went. If I went. But it wouldn't be like, like there is no God. What's going on here? You know, like taking a six year old.

[Ryan Sickler]

Well, would you.

[Ari Shaffir]

What would you think about people to do?

[Ryan Sickler]

What would you want?

[Ari Shaffir]

That sounds fun, man. If I get all my friends to meet up at a club, I'm pretty much only friends with comedians, minus like four or five, six other people.

[Ryan Sickler]

I don't even give a. Where you all meet. Pick it.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah, just.

[Ryan Sickler]

It doesn't need to be the comedy stuff. I don't care. Just get together, have fun and drink, smoke and hang out.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah, exactly. Like if I. Let's just say this happened 12 years from now. Let's say I got married, had a kid. I'd want my wife and kid to beat it for the night, let all my friends trash the place. You'll want. You're gonna wash the dishes later, you know, and just like have fun guys. Right. Drink and smoke.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah. I don't tell stories. Yeah.

[Ari Shaffir]

Something about me. But then let it remind you about other people.

[Ryan Sickler]

That's right. This one time.

[Ari Shaffir]

Hey, we never had.

[Ryan Sickler]

I met this guy that was this.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah, we always. I always like to hang. Joe Liston and I, it's. It shifted away as we go on the road more. We're like, we were like the. What's it called? Committee that you have in frats. The people hang out. You make people hang out. The activities chair.

[Ryan Sickler]

Is that what it is?

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah. For New York comedy.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah.

[Ari Shaffir]

Joe would plan stuff in the park. Meetups in the park. Sick. Right? I plan ski trips or whatever. And it's like, we're just like we're the only ones were. Anyway. It's going away some, but, like, he's got a kid now. It's like, let's get together. Let's meet up. Let's. Let's. With Derosa, it's like, the spots are done. Let's go drink.

[Ryan Sickler]

We just. Who was I just talking to about this? The other day? It was. There is one day in your life that you don't know, but it's the last day you ever play with your friends outside.

[Ari Shaffir]

That day comes, let's play, and that just matters.

[Ryan Sickler]

And you don't even know when no one says, hey, guys, you're about to go to college, you're having a kid early, whatever, your parents are dying. Like, shit's about to change. Nobody ever says, this is the last.

[Ari Shaffir]

Damn, we don't play. I haven't played.

[Ryan Sickler]

When's the last time you play? When's the last time you ran at full speed? Exactly. Yeah, we don't do that anymore, man. Yeah, I worry about it at this age, if I can't. I can't just bust out into a full speed right now. If there's an emergency or something, and we got to go full speed. That's a young man's game. We're all. Shit's tearing and.

[Ari Shaffir]

You ever do this? I'm some. Late for spots, and I'm like, oh, I'm late. I'm running, and then I run out of speed. I run out of energy, and I have to stop and just walk in the same block. I started running like, the block's not.

[Ryan Sickler]

Even done yet for a flight recently. Come over. It's embarrassing, but you're past that escalator or, you know, the conveyor belt, it's broken.

[Ari Shaffir]

I'm like, excuse me, excuse me, excuse me. Yeah, if people, like, go. Excuse me. Like, you move. I don't have time for this.

[Ryan Sickler]

So I. Yeah, I wonder if he.

[Ari Shaffir]

I don't know. I feel like I would leave everybody first because of the drug use, but maybe I'd be last. Who knows? Less stress than everybody. More drug use, less stress.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah. I was just told today I still have to go to an oncologist because of my blood disease and shit. And he's like, you know, listen, you fly a lot. If you get off and both your legs are swollen, it's not a big deal. That's normal. That's why. Where I have to wear compression pants whenever I fly, I go, am I overdoing it? Wearing those with blood thinners? He's like, no, wear Those for sure. He goes, now if you get off and one leg's bigger than the other, that's when you call me and we're getting you to an ER because that's a circulation problem for sure. And he goes, look, man, I got to tell you, I got to be honest with you. Your, your veins aren't virgins anymore. You've clotted twice. They don't have the elasticity, they don't have the bounce.

[Ari Shaffir]

You're going to have a stroke.

[Ryan Sickler]

No, it just means that if I don't stay on these meds and do things properly, then. Then y clot and die or whatever.

[Ari Shaffir]

Cuz I think that's what happened to Keith.

[Ryan Sickler]

I've had. I'm lucky to have had two and still be alive.

[Ari Shaffir]

I think that's what happened to Keith where he was like, I'm doing good. I don't have to take it today. Like, because you don't think because, because you're taking it, you're doing good. And then like, and then that's why you're doing good. Red band. Tell me that once. He goes, he was like. I was like at my thinnest. Was like 175, probably 190 now. And he goes, man, if I was your height, if I was your size, I would just binge all the time. And I was like, red, Ben, you were my size and you did binge all the time. That's why you're not my size. Binge once in a while, buddy.

[Ryan Sickler]

All right, so you're a Maryland guy. So here we go.

[Ari Shaffir]

So, yeah, how would you honor. Like the.

[Ryan Sickler]

This is what I. I have this written in my.

[Ari Shaffir]

Okay.

[Ryan Sickler]

I have, I've done the proper. Okay. I have not. I have. With any money I have made. I have not bought cars and houses and whatever crypto and bunch of I doordash and some hoodies. That's what I buy.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

But I have the living will and trust life insurance. Got all of it set right. Because these are all things. Also that my 42 year old father wasn't preparing to die at 42. He didn't have any of that, so. And also we're minors. So whatever happens with his. He worked at Pan Am at National Airport, which is now Reagan. Remember when the plane crashed? Do you remember that? No, you don't remember when the plane crashed into the river right there, out of National Airport in the river. Yeah. He was working there that day. And he's like, bad day at work.

[Ari Shaffir]

Bad day. Guys, guys. We couldn't get much worse Than this.

[Ryan Sickler]

So whatever happened with his policy through work was given to an uncle who oversaw it. And. And then we never saw it. How about that? He oversaw it. We never saw it.

[Ari Shaffir]

We undersaw it. He oversaw it. We undersaw it.

[Ryan Sickler]

That's funny. I talked to my brother today. He goes, you know, I'm still not over that. I go, you got him, dude. It's 30 years ago.

[Ari Shaffir]

They got us. They got.

[Ryan Sickler]

You got to let it go, bro. We made that money back. He's like, I don't care. I can't wait till money dies.

[Ari Shaffir]

I was like.

[Ryan Sickler]

He's like, that was our. From our. I was like, I know, dude. You gotta let it go. It's not healthy. But anyway, so at this time, I go do it all. And I'm like, you know what? I'm gonna make my daughter do something. I'm gonna get cremated. I want you to put my ashes in a little can. I don't give it. Don't even spend money on an urn. And I want you to take me. She's right here.

[Ari Shaffir]

No, I'm saying. Doing one of those.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah. Oh, I don't know.

[Ari Shaffir]

Change of will, bro.

[Ryan Sickler]

And third, I need to sprinkle it way easier.

[Ari Shaffir]

You can sprinkle or scoop. Either way, I've already got her.

[Ryan Sickler]

So I will update. I'm gonna update that, the whole. Man, it's a great idea.

[Ari Shaffir]

Just a big one. Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

And that's what I told her to do. I wanted her. I really wanted to go to the Y River, the W, Y E, which we just talked about, because that's where. It's a channel off the Chesapeake where we used to crab. But I was like, it's just gonna be easier if you go to the Chesapeake and, you know, don't go to the Key Bridge. That doesn't exist anymore. That thing gone damn good. And sprinkle my ashes. And then I think about that, right? And you think, what a. You know, you romanticize this whole moment for my child. Maybe she's with her husband and her kid. Whatever.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

And then it's gonna be a Maryland rainy ass night. They're gonna get stuck in mud. They're gonna be like, sorry, dad, just dump it out the window while they're going on 50. And also, you know what? That's fine, too.

[Ari Shaffir]

That's fine.

[Ryan Sickler]

That's fine, too.

[Ari Shaffir]

The thing is. So here's what it's for. It's not for you. You're dead and gone.

[Ryan Sickler]

I won't even know.

[Ari Shaffir]

You won't know It. So it's. It's their way of saying this would have made him happy. And so then it's also the circle of life.

[Ryan Sickler]

I've eat. Literally eaten so many crabs from those waters. It's. It's time I go back.

[Ari Shaffir]

It's a cool fitting. Some people do the tree. You know the tree thing.

[Ryan Sickler]

I. I do know about.

[Ari Shaffir]

That would be cool. Me in a forest that I loved.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah.

[Ari Shaffir]

Try to get me to grow there. So I. I'll just be there for a hundred years. Something about me will. And then that tree dies. And then that'll get. Maggots will come. Birds lead the maggots. It'll go back into that. That's nice. I'd like to split it up. Like everybody gets a finger. Different groups. You know. You get to spread that everywhere because everybody wants a little thing.

[Ryan Sickler]

My 10 favorite. My 10 chosen people.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah. You know about Graham Parsons.

[Ryan Sickler]

It would. What?

[Ari Shaffir]

So he died. They love they. He's a Joshua Tree guy. And. And 29 palms and his parents come and get him from Georgia. He's a rock star and a psychedelic country guy. They're like, time to get you home to your whatever. And his friends are like, we knew grandparsons that he only buried in Georgia. So they dug him up.

[Ryan Sickler]

No.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah. And try to bring him back to 29 poems.

[Ryan Sickler]

His body just like dug his body up. Not like excavated him.

[Ari Shaffir]

Just how wrong I am. I might be way, way wrong. But yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Crazy.

[Ari Shaffir]

So dug him up. Got.

[Ryan Sickler]

Listen. I wouldn't do that for a child.

[Ari Shaffir]

They're like, graham doesn't want to be buried. No. Georgia. Yeah. And then.

[Ryan Sickler]

And then they're gonna drive across country.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah. Rotting body up there. So they're like, we got to put him in Joshua Tree. That's what he would have.

[Ryan Sickler]

Real quick. Kirsten, look at. I do want to see. That's cool. Crazy.

[Ari Shaffir]

How much of this is right and how much is way, way wrong. My memory sometimes brings me to things like that didn't ever exist.

[Ryan Sickler]

That's wild.

[Ari Shaffir]

I thought James Bond was gay. The new one. I was positive. Like, no, he's not Daniel Craig. He sure seems gay with his shirt off. Death. Okay, okay. So hold on. Don't read that.

[Ryan Sickler]

You got it off.

[Ari Shaffir]

So I'm right.

[Ryan Sickler]

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[Ari Shaffir]

So like let's figure out how to cremate them and whatever. They don't know how to cremate. I don't know how to cremate. These are just fucking rock star hillbillies that into mushrooms. I don't know how to cremate. So the heat's on them now. The parents like what the fuck? They stole their kids body.

[Ryan Sickler]

They didn't even run this by the family.

[Ari Shaffir]

They just, you know, in a drug haze like let's get. And then drove cross country back with a dead body in your back. Tried to kinraid him but really just like charred him a bunch so he was like half burned and like there was a few ashes. The parents are trying to find them. Then they eventually get the body back and move it back there. I think they kept a few ashes and put them out near the Joshua trees.

[Ryan Sickler]

Also like wild, but what a way to go.

[Ari Shaffir]

What a way to go. You're still part of drama.

[Ryan Sickler]

Do whatever you want with my carcass. I don't feel it. I'm not there.

[Ari Shaffir]

I'd go, don't, don't annoy my parents like this. It's gonna be tragic if they're gone. Guys, do whatever you think should be done with it.

[Ryan Sickler]

I want you to prop me up at one of my mom's band shows. You know, I mean, just dead in a chair while she's over there. Just you grouping it with this band.

[Ari Shaffir]

That would be great.

[Ryan Sickler]

You'd also be great.

[Ari Shaffir]

Spread it all over them spreading the punch. Spike the punch.

[Ryan Sickler]

How about slingshot me into the Grand Canyon? You know what I mean?

[Ari Shaffir]

That would be sick.

[Ryan Sickler]

Or. Yeah. Tie a bomb to me and just let me out in there.

[Ari Shaffir]

Oh, full body. Don't even cremate.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, hell no.

[Ari Shaffir]

Oh, wow.

[Ryan Sickler]

Fly my body out over the Grand Canyon. Just let it die down there and let the animals have at it. It.

[Ari Shaffir]

That'd be nice.

[Ryan Sickler]

Or drop it out of an airplane. That'd be fun too. You don't even saw that.

[Ari Shaffir]

Laden style.

[Ryan Sickler]

That's. I thought they threw him overboard in the water. Was that a plane?

[Ari Shaffir]

Oh, I guess it was over.

[Ryan Sickler]

I thought they said they wrapped him in a shroud and dumped them over.

[Ari Shaffir]

Overboard.

[Ryan Sickler]

Whatever.

[Ari Shaffir]

Still fishy about whatever lie they told. Yeah, something's still fishy about that one. Somebody said he might have been dead 10 years already. Somebody said, like, he had been a captive for a while. And then she finally said, okay, it's time. But I'm like, not even a picture also.

[Ryan Sickler]

Exactly.

[Ari Shaffir]

We gotta honor their religion today.

[Ryan Sickler]

You get old.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

You know what I mean? What's this all. You just. Probably just get to hate him for a while. You're just like, I don't care anymore.

[Ari Shaffir]

Let me go apologize to those Americas. I'm really sorry.

[Ryan Sickler]

Out of me. Please.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah, bring it.

[Ryan Sickler]

Come on. I'm tired. Yeah.

[Ari Shaffir]

But dealing with these locked inside my wife for this 10 years.

[Ryan Sickler]

So you've never thought about what you would want for your finale?

[Ari Shaffir]

I think I'd want to. There's a few spots on earth that I love. Top of veil, you know, maybe. Yeah. And let it, like, soak in and whatever. It's like in some woods out there, you know, you really got.

[Ryan Sickler]

Sprinkle it now. Going into a tree. I like the tree idea.

[Ari Shaffir]

Live on.

[Ryan Sickler]

Throw into a redwood. Just get up there in the woods and be up there for a couple hundred more years, too.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah. And then it's like I have this. Like. It's kind of hokey, but, like, I think, like, as long as somebody remembers you, you kind of live. So what is that, two generations?

[Ryan Sickler]

We've got two to three, tops.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah. So what?

[Ryan Sickler]

Then we're gone.

[Ari Shaffir]

What I do is if I pass a cemetery, I'll go in there and I'll look at people's names. I'll read them out loud and I think about what they might have been. Bring it back to life for a minute.

[Ryan Sickler]

You've done that.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah. It's kind of fun. And then you see, like. Then you, like, look like, oh, Child died before the parent. And, like, seeing how then you'd, like, I zone in, like, what they must have felt like in 1870 to lose their kid. And, like, this is the third one they lost.

[Ryan Sickler]

You know, this is what Adrian just told us. You do this with her. You walk in the daytime. Because I had asked her if she ever did any.

[Ari Shaffir]

Like. Well, that. That makes it true.

[Ryan Sickler]

We. We go. We used to do this at night. We like to be scared at night. So we would go walk through. Well, you know, Baltimore, that's an old city.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

So you're seeing tombstones from the 1800s. And in there, and it's just a little marker right across a little.

[Ari Shaffir]

Couldn't afford much.

[Ryan Sickler]

Nothing. Just. And then you'd see a big one, you know.

[Ari Shaffir]

Who was this?

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah, who was this? That had money, expected the mason that did this. And.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah, on top of that thing, it's still here, you know?

[Ryan Sickler]

And then they're like, there'd be a family of four in that, like, area. And you're like, yeah, it's like, which.

[Ari Shaffir]

Of the kids had to be buried with their parents? Like, if you had a daughter, she got married. Are. You got to go in that one's grave? And that means you got to buy a grave for, like, hey, save a spot for my chick.

[Ryan Sickler]

That's what my grandmama had to do. So my. When my grandfather died, it was boom. And then they carved my grandmother's name in with birth date. Just wait and etch that number in. And I'm like, that doesn't fuck with you.

[Ari Shaffir]

She's locked in there.

[Ryan Sickler]

And she's like, that's where I'm going to be buried. But then my dad dies before she does. So they bury. What they do is they bury my. They stack of my. Oh, my dad is buried. I want to say it's maybe 10ft down, and then she's 6. So they stack them like that.

[Ari Shaffir]

Ask for a turn.

[Ryan Sickler]

They're running out of room, bro. That's a whole cemetery.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah. Yeah, that'll be a little mound. Like, there's a lot.

[Ryan Sickler]

A lot of mausoleum. But. But you see them. Every time you go to that headstone, you're just looking at your name and waiting for that number to be put on.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah. You're visiting your.

[Ryan Sickler]

Every time you want to visit your husband, you just. There's your. What year were you born? 70. 74. 1974. TBD, bro.

[Ari Shaffir]

Wow.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah. And then you go back, and now your son's in there with a birth and death date. Your husband's in there with a birth and death right there. Just waiting.

[Ari Shaffir]

Must be tough when you're like, more that day you're mourning your son, then you're like, I. I'll say you, Greg, as long as I'm here, here's one flower. But I was just missing the sun today.

[Ryan Sickler]

That's interesting. I never thought of that. I never thought about when my grandmother went to that grave, if she ever had any internal conversations or anything to her husband about their child. I never thought of that. I would just assumed it's like, hey, babe, my dad, My dad, you know, my kid, my kid, my kid, my kid. Interesting.

[Ari Shaffir]

Maybe you must miss the dad.

[Ryan Sickler]

Still see that? That's. That's been. I don't know how many years now? 35 years my dad's been dead, and you still don't think so?

[Ari Shaffir]

You don't think you're gonna get over it?

[Ryan Sickler]

You don't ever get over that. Especially when. When the way it went down, it.

[Ari Shaffir]

Wasn'T like, stabbed in front of you.

[Ryan Sickler]

You stabbed in front of us by pigeons, bro. Baltimore pigeons, man. They're that little hats on back.

[Ari Shaffir]

Louis, dad was stabbed. I think he was inside playing. Should have been defending.

[Ryan Sickler]

Is that what happened?

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah, I think he was stabbed to death.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, shit.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah. I mean, I love Puerto Ricans, but.

[Ryan Sickler]

No, ours is, you know, my. That we wake up and find my dad dead in his bed, but fresh. This is why I was so freaked out about coming out of the hospital was the same thing that I'm finding out my dad had. They misdiagnosed it back then as heart attack, but it really was blood clots and a disease. So when he gets out of the hospital, he comes home to our house, and the second night, he dies. So I can't tell you how terrified I was to go to bed the night I got home from the hospital. I stayed up. I just let my body fall asleep at, like, noon the next day. I was like, I'm not sleeping tonight. I don't think I'll wake up Freddy Krueger, bro.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah, it's gonna get me.

[Ryan Sickler]

So now I'm just like, you know what? If we're gonna. We're all gonna go.

[Ari Shaffir]

I'm thinking, though, yeah. What I want to try to do sometimes it's tough to tap into, like, what? Because sometimes you make a decision and you forget about it. But, like, I'm thinking now, what I've tried to do is I had a moment where I'm like, it's coming. Who knows?

[Ryan Sickler]

Have you had near Death experiences. And I don't just mean.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah. Like I'm too close to a cliff going, yeah. If I don't have a branch there, I'm gone.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah. No, I mean.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah. Not where like, I got to rethink.

[Ryan Sickler]

No injury or anything like that car crash or, you know, knock on health scare that ever was. Like, holy. I could have gone.

[Ari Shaffir]

No, no. There's been some almost falls.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah.

[Ari Shaffir]

Where it's. But like off like a high cliff.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah. And then go to remote place.

[Ari Shaffir]

Whoa. And then like, just think, do not tell my mom I was that close. Because it's. It's. It's death. But it didn't like sit in where.

[Ryan Sickler]

I'm like, jaska real quick. Did you ever ask your dad if there are any moments like that when he was hiking Mount Kilimanjaro that he doesn't want to tell your mom?

[Ari Shaffir]

Oh, no, I didn't.

[Ryan Sickler]

No close calls I gotta do.

[Ari Shaffir]

You'll be tripping podcast with him about that.

[Ryan Sickler]

You should.

[Ari Shaffir]

100. That's a trip of a lifetime. Yeah. No, I did not. I should.

[Ryan Sickler]

I had one in Mexico, dude. Well, this would have been brutal. This would have been a brutal way to go.

[Ari Shaffir]

What, you ate a second burrito yourself to death?

[Ryan Sickler]

Listen, man, there ain't nothing like a taco off a tree stump. This guy looked at me, he's like. He said, this isn't for white people. I was like, put that on that taco. I myself in San Diego.

[Ari Shaffir]

Are you smuggling anything in? Barely made it, but let me go, sir.

[Ryan Sickler]

I got a couple. I got about an hour in anyway. We're. We were. We were all over Mexico was. Me and two friends of mine, and we go down. We took his jeep and we're just camping on the beaches. It was amazing. It was amazing.

[Ari Shaffir]

Baja.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yep. We did Rosarito. We did Ensenada. We just kept driving around. We got the insurance from aaa. You got to have Mexican auto insurance to come across. All did it. All right. We had an old CJ7 jeep turning the hubs. We had a blast. And the last night we're staying, we're like it. We're getting a hotel tonight. We're gonna pitch in. We're just gonna get a nice hotel. We're tired of sleeping on these beaches. A couple of them were like. We pulled up to this one Ari, they had an orangutan in a cage out front. And it was 100, 200 yards from there. That where the beach was, the camp. We get there, it's on. You're on Top of each other. Little kids are looking at our tent in the morning, and we're like, what do you do? Yeah, it was like that. So we're like this. Then we would just romantic that off into the remote. That moment, that's when it got good. I'm like, you got a jeep, bro? He had never. I was like, you don't know how to do this. He's like, no. I'm like, you. So we turned his rubs. Yeah. We four wheeled out onto the beach, and that's when it was awesome. Fires, the whole thing. So the last night, we decide we're gonna stay. We get in. We're in Rosarito, and we're going into town. And the guy tells us, and thank God. He said, listen to me. It's a $15 cab ride. Give him 20. You're good. If they ask you for any more than 15, they're trying to rob you. Don't pay it. We're like, thanks. So a guy in a station wagon picks us up. It's me on the left behind the driver. My buddy Dylan is in the middle. My buddy John on the right, he's got some other guy up front with him, too. We don't know if this is another ride. A buddy of his or whatever, or trouble. Very. I'm telling you, I can go back to this moment. He's got that rear view mirror that goes from the left all the way across. You know that one? Yeah. Panels all the. Not this. All the way across in the back here. The way back. He's got a boom box, and it is blaring. Pump up the volume. Pump up the volume. You remember that? And he's like. He's just driving like you, like. We're like, yeah, we're good. We're good. So it's bumper to bumper. I think it's Memorial Day weekend. It's some holiday weekend. And he decides he's jumping onto this dirt shoulder and this punches it. We're going like 50 next to parked bumper to bumper car. And there's cars still over here. And we're like, dude, you know, it's fine. He's like, that's okay. Traffic, it's okay. I'm like, it's fine. He's hauling ass for a while. We're thinking we're going to kill somebody, run somebody over a car, whatever.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

We stop. He goes, it's right here on your left. It was Carlos and Charlie's back in the day. That cnc, that was what Dublin's was, by the way.

[Ari Shaffir]

You're just singing CNC Music Factory. Is that what that song was, everybody?

[Ryan Sickler]

This was Pump up the Volumes. Like Mars or some. Like that. Okay, So I now remember we're no longer in Elaine. We're now on the shoulder where we've driven the entire time. Well, when you see one person do it, a lot of sheep start doing the same thing. And I don't. I forget. And I open that door.

[Ari Shaffir]

Oh, no.

[Ryan Sickler]

And I step out, and here comes an F1 50 pickup truck. And I mean, listen, it hit here, right here. I felt it go by my face. It hit my. My buddy grabs my shirt a little bit because I was like. I lean in, he grabs my shirt. It hits the door of the cab, and it bends it up against the driver's door, okay? Like this way.

[Ari Shaffir]

What?

[Ryan Sickler]

And it's sheet metal. And it just beats down the side of this dude's truck. I mean, it. His truck up, because it's trying to naturally force its way back. Rips the door off.

[Ari Shaffir]

Oh.

[Ryan Sickler]

This guy makes a right right in front of us and goes up here. The driver turns around, looks at me. I go, that's your problem, dude. I got out. I was like, come on. We crossed the street in traffic. It's melee. We get over there, and then I'm like. And I promise you this is a true story. Wait, before we get out, my last problem, bro. I look at the moon and I go, it's a full moon. Some weird shit's about to go down tonight. Open the door like that. And he's like, what about my car? That's your problem, bro. I'm not getting arrested in Mexico. That dude took off. We're taking off. We ran and got into the crowd, and he couldn't find us. And that was it. And I was like. And I kept thinking, like, it didn't hit me till later, that I would have been.

[Ari Shaffir]

How close were you?

[Ryan Sickler]

I would have been pinned in that sheet metal. And just being.

[Ari Shaffir]

You want to come one of those things, your top stage bottom switches around so they're like. As soon as we unwind you, you're dead. So got to make a phone call.

[Ryan Sickler]

Done. In Mexico.

[Ari Shaffir]

That's not where you want to die.

[Ryan Sickler]

No.

[Ari Shaffir]

And then you up your shoulder, and.

[Ryan Sickler]

That would have been the song I heard last, too. Pop up the volume.

[Ari Shaffir]

Pop up.

[Ryan Sickler]

That's the one I go out to now.

[Ari Shaffir]

Now you stuck in your head in heaven forever.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah.

[Ari Shaffir]

Everywhere you go, like, damn. Like, what is that? Like, it's a song. It's the last song. Trying to think of all the places.

[Ryan Sickler]

I would like to have you dealt with death.

[Ari Shaffir]

So did you change your life at all once you. Once that came close to happening, or do you just get a little sense of, like, gratitude?

[Ryan Sickler]

Like, I started. I have considerably drank less and less after all of my deaths. Jump. I got jumped. I started drinking a lot less. A lot less. I'd go up and I haven't hadn't drank in two years now. I mean, look, I'm not. Again, I say it like I'm not trying to say I'm better than anybody. I've smoked a small forest, okay? But I have not. It just doesn't work for me. And now I'm on blood thinners, so. Alcohol makes your blood thin. If I get into a car crash or something, I'm bleeding out. Especially if I'm in the passenger seat and I'm somebody's drunk idiot riding around. I'm done.

[Ari Shaffir]

Wow.

[Ryan Sickler]

I'm just gonna leak. But weed works for me. Alcohol does not work for me.

[Ari Shaffir]

That's good to know. My dad doesn't drink either anymore. Yeah, but like, yeah, it's. Once you know it doesn't work, it's like a different A tell doesn't drink. That's it. If a tail quit, he quit. Yeah, like seven, eight, ten years ago for health.

[Ryan Sickler]

I don't know. At some point, you have to. Nobody's body's tolerating.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah. And the idea is like, Well, I always. I was always high before. I was like, yeah, you were 23. Before. You're not.

[Ryan Sickler]

A friend of mine had called me up. His younger brother. I just saw, like, he had passed on Facebook. I'm like, what the happened to your brother? And he's like, who posted that as like a family post or whatever, you know? And I was like, what happened to your brother? And he's like. And it's funny, but it's not funny to say this. He's like, he never stopped drinking. Like, we were in high school. Like, we weren't supposed to be drinking at night. You know what I mean? But yes. And I go, I know what you mean. He's like, he never stopped. He just kept drinking like that. And then one day, literally went from eyes white, went to bed, woke up yellow, went to the doctor, jaundice. And they were like, you're. You're. You're so far advanced. Like, it's. There is no. We're not even recommending chemo or anything. Like, it's gonna happen.

[Ari Shaffir]

Enjoy your time.

[Ryan Sickler]

And it. And it was, boom, like a Month later, I think a couple weeks, and he was gone. And it's all from that alcohol.

[Ari Shaffir]

Kathleen McGee just died. You remember her?

[Ryan Sickler]

Kathleen.

[Ari Shaffir]

She's a.

[Ryan Sickler]

The comedian. No, really?

[Ari Shaffir]

She got cancer. She lost a bunch of weight first, like, I mean, like.

[Ryan Sickler]

Like for intentionally. For health reasons, just to give.

[Ari Shaffir]

She was. She was. She was thinner than you are, but she was like a fat chick always. And then got cancer. She handled it so well. It's almost like enviable the way you heard. Norm didn't even tell anybody, and it was just gone.

[Ryan Sickler]

Wow.

[Ari Shaffir]

I love that. I want to do that. Don't even tell them. Also, why do you even have to make a press release saying they die The. The Black Panther? I just, like, just. Why would you tell the world? Just have your family know and just. That's it. Just don't tell anybody how he's on the new Black Panther. I don't know. Weird. I haven't heard from him lately. Should be that involving fans for. Yeah. Just don't even know. But yeah, she would tell people. She's like, I have cancer. You know, it's inoperable. And they're like, oh, no. She goes, no, no, don't do that. I've already done that. I'm past that. I'm totally fine. She was like, be happy. Think of good thoughts. I'm. And she really was at peace with it. And then she went to hospice and died in. Inside like a week. So a few days, somebody. I got a text like, she's in hospice. And I texted her. I mean, I waited two days and then. And then I texted her, just, I love you. And then she. I don't know if she got it. Should have done it right away.

[Ryan Sickler]

Have you dealt with death in your life, Brody?

[Ari Shaffir]

Freddie.

[Ryan Sickler]

I mean, outside of. I mean, family, grandparents, or were they gone before you?

[Ari Shaffir]

No, they died. I remember that. But I remember telling my dad when my. When my. I guess grandmother died, she sat. Lasted longer. I was just like. Heard about it when I was like. He was about to go back to Israel for the funeral.

[Ryan Sickler]

How old were you?

[Ari Shaffir]

High school or college.

[Ryan Sickler]

Okay.

[Ari Shaffir]

But yeah, I definitely have pubes. You know, I wasn't like a child child.

[Ryan Sickler]

That's middle school.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah. But I mean, at some point, I was a bit of an adult. It might have been 25. I might have been. I don't know.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Ari Shaffir]

But I was just like, sorry, man. He was like, thank you. It was just like, that sucks. But I didn't understand why it sucked. It was just like someone you really cared about. And I kind of cared about died.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah.

[Ari Shaffir]

But. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. I think I. I mean, I wonder if I. I would love to go out like Norm or even further. Really. Never tell anyone.

[Ryan Sickler]

I've got.

[Ari Shaffir]

I guess he's just traveling.

[Ryan Sickler]

That's wild. Yeah. I've got this feed going in my damn Instagram now where it talks about the difference between men and women. And they play Madonna's Like a Prayer, but sung by a chorus. And it is so beautiful and powerful and moving. It's amazing.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

The performance of the song and it's. It says, women, I just want to die in my bed with all my loved ones around me. And then it says men, and it's like us running at one another in civil war. And I would so much rather go out that way.

[Ari Shaffir]

Do something crazy.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yes. I would so much rather go out with a.

[Ari Shaffir]

Listen, I'm a bungee jump. Jump five times. Some point. Three through five. Don't tie it. Don't tell me which one. I don't want to know which one. Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Would you rush him? Roulette. If you knew you were terminal, would you. Would you play that game? I still wouldn't play that game.

[Ari Shaffir]

That's a tough one. There is that. There's got to be that last fear of is heaven real? Real. That last. You know, like.

[Ryan Sickler]

And also, what is it? Is. What if it is real? Is it the we've been hearing about all this time or. Wrong.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah, way wrong. If it's all a Megadeth concert, like, don't send me to hell.

[Ryan Sickler]

What if it's just a drone noise the whole time? Like, this is it.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah, but. Yeah, but if there is a heaven, it's pretty much. Pretty much everybody said you can't kill yourself. You just won't go. Right. That's like the ultimate. You have to be killed or die. So Russian roulette is like, you're doing it.

[Ryan Sickler]

It's a good point.

[Ari Shaffir]

But if we can do it to each other aside, I'll be okay.

[Ryan Sickler]

No, I don't think you get into heaven if you're murdering people, right?

[Ari Shaffir]

If you murder, you don't get in.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah, yeah, but if you get murdered, you get in.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah, that's fine.

[Ryan Sickler]

If you're a victim, it's fine.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah, but maybe. Yeah, maybe like a squid games kind of thing.

[Ryan Sickler]

But you don't ever talk to your parents about it. They're getting older now. They don't talk to you about it. Like, hey, do they have do you know if they have a living will and trust the will, all that?

[Ari Shaffir]

I don't. I intentionally don't keep up with that stuff. I actually don't know how much I pay in taxes. I don't keep track of any of that. I just think it'd make me happier not to. I'm like, I. I guess my business manager, honest, I. I'm not the money guy enough to up your whole business over my stuff. Because I'm like, if you. If I. If you find out you're taking 20 from me when you, you know, extra, you're going to lose the major accounts. So I'm safe in that. And if you take a little extra, I'd rather just not know. So I don't. I don't really think.

[Ryan Sickler]

They've never said. Look, these are our.

[Ari Shaffir]

My sisters. Probably know.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah, we'd like to.

[Ari Shaffir]

For.

[Ryan Sickler]

You don't know if your parents want to be cremated or buried or.

[Ari Shaffir]

Definitely not cremated. It's Jewish.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah. You're Jewish.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah. That's extra money. That's why. Yeah. Yeah. Just two people.

[Ryan Sickler]

You could put two people in one ear, though.

[Ari Shaffir]

Ye International Cemetery. You see One of those DEGs, you know, dug up and you're like, using that. You're like, well, somebody's coming. Like, it's too late. It's in here now. Recarve. Recarve.

[Ryan Sickler]

Well, brother, I hope you live long and prosper.

[Ari Shaffir]

I wonder, though, would you want to be here past all your friends, me assume health?

[Ryan Sickler]

No, I don't want to outl. No, you're outliving everyone. No. That sucks.

[Ari Shaffir]

And see the future. See flying cars. Not understand any of it. It all. None of it makes sense. This is how every older person uses their phone. Like, everyone over, like 70. This is how these phone.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah.

[Ari Shaffir]

And you'll be like. And then you'll see this shot. Sometimes you call your parents, something like that, or like the grandparent, whatever. And you see this FaceTime, but it's like from here out and just ceiling. And you're like, no, move it. No, move it over. I'm on. See the screen thing? Put yourself on the screen thing. And then they're just good. I don't know how to die. Yeah, I don't want to have that for whatever the new version of that is.

[Ryan Sickler]

No kids. I don't want to outlive friends. I'm good.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah. What if you could become like a vampire and live forever at that? At some point you lose your first friends. Do you make new ones knowing you're not gonna age.

[Ryan Sickler]

I watched True Blood on hbo. It was a great show.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

And I never considered that you're. I mean, everyone you're meeting just dying. Yeah, everyone. And that includes even your family, because you're like, hey, I'm your great, great, great, great, great. And every.

[Ari Shaffir]

All of them. The longer you live, the more snaps.

[Ryan Sickler]

I think that'd be terrible.

[Ari Shaffir]

I'd want to go, like, 250 years.

[Ryan Sickler]

I just want the flying part of it. God, I want to up into a tree real quick.

[Ari Shaffir]

I would love to drink blood, though.

[Ryan Sickler]

That'd be badass.

[Ari Shaffir]

Come in there. How do they suck it? They giant.

[Ryan Sickler]

They fang it and pull it right in like snakes. Just like they sang you first.

[Ari Shaffir]

That's pretty cool, brother.

[Ryan Sickler]

I love you.

[Ari Shaffir]

I love you, too. Right?

[Ryan Sickler]

Thank you for doing this. We're gonna wrap up our talk about death, but I like going deep with you about.

[Ari Shaffir]

You should take your. I should put it in a honeydew melon. Smash that in the wyoke.

[Ryan Sickler]

You know the old bay. That's interesting. You know the old Keith Richardson where he. He says he joked about smoking his father's ashes. You know about that? Yeah. So he says he rolled a little of them up and he smoked them. And then people went off on him, like, that's crazy. He had to be like, I didn't.

[Ari Shaffir]

Well, he did. Who knows? But he had his hand. But also, like, why not?

[Ryan Sickler]

Why not?

[Ari Shaffir]

Who cares?

[Ryan Sickler]

It's not cannibal.

[Ari Shaffir]

That's also. We're talking about becoming a tree. Smoke me.

[Ryan Sickler]

Smoke me.

[Ari Shaffir]

The right person. There's only a few people that get that.

[Ryan Sickler]

That's right.

[Ari Shaffir]

The rest you get to visit.

[Ryan Sickler]

That's right. The tree.

[Ari Shaffir]

You can get the road.

[Ryan Sickler]

Don't be carving in me.

[Ari Shaffir]

Don't be carving.

[Ryan Sickler]

Here's what else I think, too. If you've eaten crabs from the Baltimore Metropolitan Waters, you've probably.

[Ari Shaffir]

They're like. They don't care a hundred percent.

[Ryan Sickler]

You've had a little hu.

[Ari Shaffir]

Human in your. Yeah. Maybe a discarded gun.

[Ryan Sickler]

I believe that firmly. No doubt. I believe that, like. Oh, no.

[Ari Shaffir]

Those things live forever, too. Yeah. You're eating. Sometimes you're eating crabs. It's like a hundred years old. So, like, you're getting some, you know.

[Ryan Sickler]

Whitey Bulger, no doubt. So I would have to say I probably had some. Do you know about the guy, the cannibal that sold hamburgers in Baltimore?

[Ari Shaffir]

No.

[Ryan Sickler]

We brought this up on the way back.

[Ari Shaffir]

Wait.

[Ryan Sickler]

Guy.

[Ari Shaffir]

I'm kind of remembering.

[Ryan Sickler]

Look back here. Kirsten will show you this the guy. The picture is horrifying. Like he leans into the role of this. So this guy was. He's a serial killer in Baltimore murdering.

[Ari Shaffir]

These people and serving him up. Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

And he sold roadside hamburgers.

[Ari Shaffir]

Meat. Human burger.

[Ryan Sickler]

And he put the. The.

[Ari Shaffir]

He put human grade.

[Ryan Sickler]

Is that him? Show that. That one right there. Click on look.

[Ari Shaffir]

It looks like a guy's been eating too much.

[Ryan Sickler]

Look at that guy.

[T-Mobile Representative]

Guy.

[Ryan Sickler]

That's him. Oh, and he sold roadside burgers. You know how Maryland you can get. Pull over and get silver queen corn and pit beef. And he sold these burgers with people.

[Ari Shaffir]

That's him.

[Ryan Sickler]

That's him.

[Ari Shaffir]

Damn. He gained a lot of weight in prison.

[Ryan Sickler]

That nuts.

[Ari Shaffir]

Oh, he died. 2017 was an American cereal. I like how they have to say that.

[Ryan Sickler]

American.

[Ari Shaffir]

Not just. Yeah, we should. They should make a. Like a. But do you ever do a year end episodes?

[Ryan Sickler]

It's only done one. When I was with ymh, we did one like a recap. A highlight.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah. I wonder if there's a way to do like a. Just like an all time underrated greats of Maryland. And it'd be like guys like that. People you haven't heard of. Just notables.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah. You know, you ever hear about this guy?

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Baltimore.

[Ari Shaffir]

Okay.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah. Maryland's got a lot of weird going on. You got all the people coming in from D.C. you got. Got the Philly, you got the Bostons. Everybody coming down this little weird spot.

[Ari Shaffir]

Narrow down the list of states to. To who has pride, who doesn't. Iowa pride, Whatever. I'm sure you have a little. It's not California pride. Yes. Texas pride. Yes. New York pride. No. It's the city of the state. But you're not proud of that. You're proud of your county.

[Ryan Sickler]

I say California. Yeah. But because it's also three quarters of the coast.

[Ari Shaffir]

Right. Hawaii has Hawaiian pride for sure. Florida has like, they're ashamed. But Maryland has a real pride. Oh, you're from Maryland. Nice. Different thing. Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Where it's big enough and small enough that you know where they are.

[Ari Shaffir]

I don't think Delaware has that pride. Or Rhode island. Definitely. Massachusetts does not. It's only Boston or Greater Boston or just the sticks.

[Ryan Sickler]

And Chicago or Illinois is Chicago. It's not Maryland.

[Ari Shaffir]

Colorado might have some pride.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah.

[Ari Shaffir]

But like, so you narrow that down. Who has pride? And then you go, who has the most.

[Ryan Sickler]

There's some pride in color.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah. A lot of white privilege.

[Ryan Sickler]

Dude. Congrats again on the special promote. It gets you out of here.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah. It's called America's sweetheart, it's on just it's been out for one week on Netflix. If you want to help any Netflix algorithm, it's different from YouTube algorithm. YouTube algorithms like for this episode Leave a comment will help us out there. Quick little comment. Quick like that helps this out on Netflix. Let it run. Let it run to the end. You got to go to work, press play leave.

[Ryan Sickler]

Is that right? How long the.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah, let it go out and then that. Then the algorithm means then now as people go, oh, I guess they're watching this all the way through. I should suggest to other people and this is somebody else like oh right, Ari special.

[Ryan Sickler]

Watch it all the way through there.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah, that's a great play and leave. Yeah, leave a comment here, press play and leave over there.

[Ryan Sickler]

Dude. Thank you buddy.

[Ari Shaffir]

I love you.

[Ryan Sickler]

I love you as always.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Ryan Sickler on all your social media Ryan sickler.com We'll talk to y'all next week.

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[Fall Line Podcast Host]

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