← The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler
The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler
Fortune Feimster - HoneyFeimster
00:53:41
My HoneyDew this week is comedian Fortune Feimster! Catch her newest special, Crushing It, now streaming on Netflix. Fortune joins me to Highlight the Lowlights of finding a work-life balance, how she almost lost her father, and the funny moments that...
Loading summary
Transcript353 lines
- [00:00]
Tax Network USA Representative
Attention taxpayers. The IRS is intensifying collections in 2025. If you owe $10,000 or more or have unfiled tax returns, it's time to take action. Tax Network USA's experienced lawyers have saved clients over a billion dollars. They're ready to negotiate with the IRS on your behalf. Don't risk wage garnishment, property seizure or losing your home. Call 1-800-958-1000 today. Get the help you need at 1-800-958-10000 or visit t tnusa.com@t mobile.
- [00:31]
T-Mobile Representative
We'll give you four free 5G phones and four lines for only $25 per line per month with eligible trade ins. And no, it's not a contest. It's every day for a limited time. Everyone's a winner on America's largest 5G network.
- [00:43]
Minimum of 4 lines for $25 per line per month with autopay discount using debit or bank account. $5 more per line without autopay. Up to $830 off each phone via 24 monthly bill credits plus taxes, fees and $10 device connection charge for well qualified customers. Contact us before canceling entire account to continue bill credits or credit stop and balance on required finance agreement too. Bill credits end if you pay up.
- [00:58]
Ryan Sickler
Devices early CT Guys, we have a new tier on our Patreon and it includes exclusive bonus content. Listen up. Right now, for just $5, you get the Honeydew a day early, you get it ad free and you get a full bonus episode of the Honeydew with y'all where listeners highlight their low lights. And it's gonna stay that way. Five bucks. And for just $3 more, you're also gonna get the way back a day early and ad free. But that's not all. You'll get exclusive bonus content with the guests, some fun segments, maybe some games and we'd love to get you guys involved. And that's all for only $3 more. And there's no censorship on any of the Patreon episodes. Subscribe now.
- [01:49]
Fortune Feimster
The Honeydew with Ryan Sick.
- [02:02]
Ryan Sickler
Welcome back to the Honeydew, y'all. We're over here doing it in the Night Pants Studios. I'm Ryan Sickler. Thank you, thank you for watching this show. Thank you for supporting this show. I genuinely appreciate the love and the support for this show. It's. What are we going on six years old now? I think, holy crap. I forget that we had a two year like hiatus of a pandemic in the middle of all that stuff. And if you gotta have more of this, then you gotta check out our Patreon. The Honeydew with you all. It's this show with you all, and it is the best show on Patreon. It's only five bucks. And we've added a new tier to our Patreon. Now for three bucks more, you're getting the way back a day early. You get it ad free. Everything is uncensored, and on that tier, you get bonus content you're not getting anywhere else. All right, go check it out. That's the biz. You guys know what we do here? We highlight the low lights. I love to say these are the stories behind the storytellers. I am very excited to have this guest back on the Honeydew. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Fortune Feemster. Welcome back to the Honeydew.
- [03:06]
Fortune Feimster
I'm so honored to be here.
- [03:08]
Ryan Sickler
Listen, I'm so honored that you even still give us the time of day after your first episode with our old producer.
- [03:17]
Fortune Feimster
We did a whole episode.
- [03:18]
Ryan Sickler
Cried about your grandma. I had to call you and tell.
- [03:22]
Fortune Feimster
You, like, you gonna make me try and cry again.
- [03:24]
Ryan Sickler
O man.
- [03:26]
Fortune Feimster
So those were some good tears, too.
- [03:27]
Ryan Sickler
Oh, that's why Kirsten's out here now and he's not anymore.
- [03:31]
Fortune Feimster
But thank you.
- [03:32]
Ryan Sickler
Thank you for doing this. Welcome back and please promote everything you'd like.
- [03:36]
Fortune Feimster
All right. Oh, right now?
- [03:38]
Ryan Sickler
Yeah, right there.
- [03:39]
Fortune Feimster
Hi, guys. Well, I have a new Netflix special out called Crushing It. I'm really proud of. It came out about a month ago, so check that out. I have two other hours on there. Sweet and Salty and Good Fortune. They're all chronological, so make a whole. A whole weekend of it. And I'm going on tour. I have a big tour coming. I'm doing some, like, working it out dates at, like, Ontario, California, Oxnard, Irvine, and Huntsville, Alabama, where you can kind of come see, like, me work on new jokes and do interactive stuff and crowd work. It's very intimate. And then a big tour starting April 1st. That's all on my website.
- [04:24]
Ryan Sickler
All right.
- [04:25]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
- [04:26]
Ryan Sickler
I'm very excited for you to be here. First of all, thank you for coming here. As we sit here and talk, I want to say I want to send heartfelt condolences and. And love out to everybody suffering in these fires right now. I mean, they're literally right over here outside our door.
- [04:40]
Fortune Feimster
I took a picture of the crazy smoke. It's insane.
- [04:46]
Ryan Sickler
Yeah, this is like the evacuation line. If it gets any more down here, we're going to be in a little bit of trouble.
- [04:51]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
- [04:51]
Ryan Sickler
Ain't gonna stay long here today. That'll be the last episode. All of us, girl.
- [04:56]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah, it sucks.
- [04:58]
Ryan Sickler
Well, thank you for being here. I wanted to talk about. I asked you out there and I'm not gonna make you say it here, but you know how old you are now. Are you comfortable saying it? You don't have to.
- [05:07]
Fortune Feimster
Sure. I mean, I'm 44.
- [05:09]
Ryan Sickler
So how long have you been in this business now of comedy, whatever it was? I'm not stand up, but just in this world of entertainment.
- [05:16]
Fortune Feimster
So I've been in LA 21 years and I started out here doing entertainment journalism. So I was in the world just on a different side of it. And then in 2005, so that would have been 19 of those years, I started improv at the Groundlings.
- [05:37]
Ryan Sickler
You did growlings as well.
- [05:38]
Fortune Feimster
All right, so I was. I was there for about six years, and then 2007 started Stand up at the store. And so Stand up. Now I'm going on 17 years and here I am.
- [05:53]
Ryan Sickler
Here you are.
- [05:54]
Fortune Feimster
So, yeah, sketch and improv kind of took precedent for a long time. And then Stand Up I was doing simultaneously, but kind of just as like, oh, this is fun. I wasn't taking it super serious once I got Chelsea. Lately, they were all into stand up. So I started being like, okay, I'll get more into that. And then it just quickly became the thing I love. And then I really amped it up in the last. The last three years have been two tours each were 100 cities, 150 shows each, and five or three hour specials in five years.
- [06:33]
Ryan Sickler
So here's the thing I wanted to talk about with you because I've. I've had this urge lately to reconnect with, like, my good friends from back home.
- [06:41]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
- [06:42]
Ryan Sickler
The people I left who are dads now or whatever they are now. And, you know, I'm 51, and after all the health shit I dealt with, I really started to shift my focus on what mattered and who mattered.
- [06:55]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
- [06:56]
Ryan Sickler
And the circle is big as it used to be. So this summer I was like, we're doing a dad's weekend. Oh, yeah, I'm paying, I'm renting a place. We're all going to Palm Springs. It was me, my daughter, one of my best friends from ninth grade, his daughter.
- [07:12]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
- [07:12]
Ryan Sickler
Another one from seventh grade, his daughter. And then another one from ninth grade. But his daughter now is. Actually, he had kids young. His daughter's mom. Now he's a grandpa. So just the four us dads went and we had this dad's daughter's weekend. And I mean, we had so much fun. So much fun.
- [07:30]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
- [07:31]
Ryan Sickler
And then, you know, I'm like, man, when are we going to do this again? Yeah, when, you know, and if you're fortunate enough to have a career and work to do.
- [07:40]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
- [07:41]
Ryan Sickler
You gotta pick and you pick.
- [07:44]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
- [07:44]
Ryan Sickler
And then you don't get to see these people.
- [07:46]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah, that's where I'm at.
- [07:48]
Ryan Sickler
I mean, you have to be. You're on the road for. What'd you say, the last three years?
- [07:52]
Fortune Feimster
100 cities, 150 shows in a year and a half each.
- [07:56]
Ryan Sickler
But back to back, two weeks in a year, just to do the math, you know?
- [08:00]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah. That's where I'm at in. In life is. Is I'm. I'm very lucky to have success and people are wanting to come see shows. That was always like. Like a priority for me, and I made it a priority. And now I reach. I. I have that. And you. You get to that point and you go, okay, well, now there, there. The balance is off. Uh, you. You don't want to neglect things in your life, like friends. Certainly not my wife, my home, my family, my parents are getting older, and so you have these little moments where I know I'm still going to work, I'm still going to be busy. I have this new tour starting in April, but I'm really trying to, like, reconnect with some friends. Encouraging my wife to reconnect with her friends and just, you know, have coffees with people and make time for dinners and go visit my folks and spend a couple days doing. Just going to a movie. And I've been doing that lately just because I kind of looked around and I was like, God, I haven't talked to my friends in a while. And, you know, they're. They're kind of living their new lives now. And you don't check in on the regular basis. We used to. Because I get. They were just used to me being gone. And where are you from originally? North Carolina.
- [09:20]
Ryan Sickler
Do you have friends from middle school, high school that you're still close with there?
- [09:26]
Fortune Feimster
I mean, close in that, like, if we texted, like, we could pick right back up.
- [09:30]
Ryan Sickler
But not that you go visit.
- [09:31]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
- [09:32]
Ryan Sickler
Or vice versa.
- [09:33]
Fortune Feimster
My friend Brian lives in Boston and we've been friends since we were basically born. So every time I'm in Boston, we have dinner. He hasn't been in LA in a while, but he came like, to. We had like, a wedding party. He came to. So we'll see each other probably once A year. I have a couple of good friends from college that I see every time I go home. Like if I'm in their city, I don't always go to each city in North Carolina. Another good friend from college that, she just moved to Boston, used to live in New York, used to see her all the time when she was in New York. And then just a, just like a couple from high school, couple from college. But I've been in LA 21 years now. Most of my friends are LA people. Really good friend who I lived with for seven years out here he is in Atlanta now. Everybody just kind of. It's a.
- [10:26]
Ryan Sickler
What hit? What hit this?
- [10:28]
Fortune Feimster
What.
- [10:28]
Ryan Sickler
What popped us off for you? What started happening where you were like, man, I just, I miss my close people.
- [10:34]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah. I think my wife kind of brought up that. Like we needed to. We hadn't really been social in a while and she wanted balance, you know, not having everything be so career focused and that made sense to me. But then I, but then that made me go like, oh, wait, well, what are my friends doing? Where are they? Some have moved away, you know, some are still here. The pandemic kind of made everyone scatter, so it just changed a lot of things for a lot of people and. Yeah. So just trying to take some time to like call people and what are you up to? I'm sure I'll be bad about it again when I go on tour, but I really want to have these normal life things, you know. Who wants to like, be successful and just be chilling by yourself?
- [11:29]
Ryan Sickler
It's lonely at the top. That's what they say, Right. What's the point of doing all that? And then you look around, you're like, yeah. I always think about those people that buy that million dollar home or multi million dollar home right by the beach.
- [11:41]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
- [11:42]
Ryan Sickler
And it's like, that's great.
- [11:43]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
- [11:44]
Ryan Sickler
But if you're true. If you're not a trust fund baby or a lotto winner, you gotta go work to afford that thing and you're not ever there. Yeah, you' there.
- [11:52]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
- [11:52]
Ryan Sickler
You know, I mean, you got the place, you got the thing.
- [11:55]
Fortune Feimster
Right.
- [11:56]
Ryan Sickler
You can't enjoy it.
- [11:57]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
- [11:57]
Ryan Sickler
You know, so I think about that a lot.
- [11:59]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah. And it's just, it's good to have balance, you know, you need to like friends bring levity into your life and they know you. Especially if someone's known you well, like they can tell if you're, you know, need a little extra support or you're down or they laugh with you. You can be Goofy with each other. It's definitely not something you want to neglect. And it's funny because I remember when my mom. When my parents divorced, I was 12, a long time ago, but she went right into, like, dating. And I noticed even as a kid, whenever she would get into, like, a significant relationship, she would really drop her friends. And it always bothered me because I was like, when she was single, her friends were, like, such an anchor and such a part of her life, and they were hanging out all the. And she seemed happy. And then she'd meet these guys and there's like, drop that. And I would always be like, why are you doing that? Like, you know, you need to talk to your friends. I'm like 14 telling her this. So it's funny to have, like, seen the importance you remember that. Yeah. Like, seared in my brain. And now to be an adult, and I'm like, I am married, so probably things fall off naturally when you get into a serious relationship. So I'm kind of guilty of it now, too, that, like, everything is like, either work or. Or my wife and I don't always take that time. And I was like, here I am doing the same thing. Kind of interesting.
- [13:37]
Ryan Sickler
Does it scare you? Do you feel like you're going to be alone? Is that what you're worried about?
- [13:42]
Fortune Feimster
I don't think so. I don't know. I haven't thought about.
- [13:45]
Ryan Sickler
Or do you just feel like you've been a bad friend or whatever, or. Or you could be better at probably just more?
- [13:51]
Fortune Feimster
I don't even. I'm not even like.
- [13:55]
Ryan Sickler
Are you just longing for it?
- [13:57]
Fortune Feimster
I don't even think I was thinking about it, you know, until I came off the road and took a big break. And I. I took two weeks over the holidays, which I've never done until I. Where I literally had not one thing. And I don't think I've had that since. You haven't even early pandemic. No, no.
- [14:15]
Ryan Sickler
I swear, this is the longest break to only two weeks.
- [14:18]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
- [14:21]
Ryan Sickler
I mean, good for you. But also. Holy shit.
- [14:24]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah. So I was.
- [14:25]
Ryan Sickler
And you're gone, what, Thursday to Sunday?
- [14:27]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah. And then the week's filled with a bunch of stuff, and it. So sitting there for two weeks, I was. It made me just do a lot of reflecting of like, oh, wow. Okay. And. Yeah. And a friend from another friend from college, her mom just passed, and I hadn't seen her mom in a really long time. You know, once you move away, you just are away from college. You just don't see people or their families as much. And I really loved her mom. She was so wonderful to me. When I was in college and my friend had sent a thing saying her mom had brain cancer. And it was a thread, so sometimes all those messages come. I just kind of get overwhelmed and I don't. I didn't. I don't know that I clocked what. What it said or I didn't something happen where I didn't process it. So I didn't see the part where mom had brain cancer. I've. And then. And then her mom died. And basically she was saying that to. If you wanted to send cards to her mom. And I was like, that was a wake up call. Where I was like, even though I haven't seen her mom in 15 years, I wish I would have been paying attention and sent her mama card, you know, or called her or something.
- [15:49]
Ryan Sickler
Have you called or anything?
- [15:52]
Fortune Feimster
Well, I've got in touch with my friend once I found out what happened. But, you know, was she okay?
- [15:57]
Ryan Sickler
Was she cool with you? Like, she wasn't upset with you? No.
- [16:00]
Fortune Feimster
I mean, it's. Again, it's another friend that I barely see either. It's more of a nostalgia thing than like a friend friend that's in a daily part of my life, someone I really care about. But, you know, you do. She lives in another state and has for many years. Same. We've lost a lot of. We've lost touch. Like, we're not. I think we talk maybe once every year and a half. So I don't think it was expected. Like, I wasn't part of the routine friendships checking on her. It was more of like, I. Just for her mom's sake, because she was such a lovely woman. Wish that I had gotten to, you know, just give one last, like, you're amazing. And I'm glad I. I know you, you know, that kind of thing.
- [16:47]
Ryan Sickler
I. I just had a nice moment actually at the Tempe Improv. Great club. Tempe Improv. Awesome club, awesome staff. And it was my last show for the year. And my, My like middle school friend, a different one. His mom lives there.
- [17:04]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
- [17:04]
Ryan Sickler
He's like, hey, my mom would like to come with her boyfriend and see you. Can you put her on your list? And I was like, I would love to. I haven't seen Barbara Sheeler in since the last time she came with her son to see me in Baltimore. She happened to be there and we all went to a Ravens game the next day. And that's like two times I've seen her And I can't tell you.
- [17:24]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
- [17:24]
Ryan Sickler
And the weird thing is, his father, which is her husband died, I want to say, six or seven years later on the anniversary of my dad's, which is weird.
- [17:35]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
- [17:36]
Ryan Sickler
To have a best friend. And it's like our dad share the same death day years. It's a week. So I was like, yeah, send her out. And so I intentionally told a story about, like, when I used to spend a night at her house.
- [17:49]
Fortune Feimster
Oh, yeah.
- [17:49]
Ryan Sickler
Yeah. Her son had a fucking hamster sleep on the floor. And I would wake up in the morning, fortune. I would be covered in shitty, pissy hamster chips. This thing would dig in the wheel all night. I would wake up in the morning covered, and she's like, oh, my God. And I'm like, this lady right here. So I get a little of those moments sometimes. And when I do, I. For the same reason I'm loving, I'm like, oh, my God, cuz.
- [18:13]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
- [18:14]
Ryan Sickler
No offense to her or anything. It's like, what? I'm. I'm not going to see you again unless our paths cross. And it's so nice that it is. I'm going to make sure we have a good time.
- [18:22]
Fortune Feimster
Of course. Yeah. Because, you know.
- [18:24]
Ryan Sickler
And thank you for the $50 Texas Roadhouse gift.
- [18:28]
Fortune Feimster
Oh, that's sweet. Yeah. It's hard as you. As you get older, you lose touch with people, you know, but you have this, like, past experience with them, so you don't really know who each other is as this version of ourselves. Like, I don't really know my friend well as an adult, but I have such fond memories of us in college being really close and being around each other's family. So you have that, like, it's more of just like, it's so nice to have a reconnection, you know, but you don't really. I don't know when I'll see. Like you said, I don't know his mom ever again.
- [19:08]
Ryan Sickler
It may very well may. Who knows?
- [19:09]
Fortune Feimster
But I always, even if it's not a friend that, like, goes way back, I always really enjoy those connections that you have with people. Like, I've found that there's been some fans over the years who. Who become sort of part of the routine as far as, like, I know I'm going to see them every tour. I started touring in 2010 and have basically done it every year, every year since. And so I started in the clubs and worked my way up to theaters. And so there were these couple of different fans who I knew whenever I went to Bloomington, Indiana, that I was going to see this. This really amazing woman. And she would always bring me checks mix, like a homemade checks Chex mix. And. And she. And I. I think I met her about three different times, three different tours. And. And then the last time I heard from was someone who knew her that, you know, said she had gotten cancer or whatever, and I got to send her a video. And these people just, like, are a part. Part of your life. I. And I knew whenever I was in the South, I was gonna see this other amazing woman g up every. At these different shows and bring me a cake. And they. They become a part of, like, oh, it's you. Like, how are you? Like, even though I don't know a thing about their lives, there is something so special that they care. They're making these efforts for me. They always showed up. And so for a big chunk of my touring career, I was like, you know, these people are part of that. And they both passed away. And it, you know, it really hit me, like, man, that it made me so sad. And when I went back to those. The cities that I would see them in, you think about them. And I had a really neat. Not neat is not the right word. I got to say goodbye to this lovely woman who brought the cakes that I mentioned her. She was dying of cancer. It was at the beginning of the pandemic. And they sent me a message on Facebook, and I don't really check messages. It's just too overwhelming. And I was bored because we're in the pandemic. I happened to be going through them, and they told me she was dying. And, you know, I saw it like a week later, and I was like, oh, my God, like, what if she's dead? They basically just said, like, is there any way you could send her a message? She always love coming to your shows. And it meant so check me out on Cameo. I would go to hell. And I was just like, God, I just, you know, I. I want to be able to say thank you. You know, like, you. You made such a difference to me. You were so kind to me. And I don't. It would suck to. For you to leave this earth. And I didn't just get to say, like, you mattered to me.
- [22:12]
Ryan Sickler
Damn right.
- [22:13]
Fortune Feimster
And. And I was like, I was so paranoid that not my words are all over the place. I was, like, worried that I got it too late. So I sent a video anyway, and she got it like, two days before she died. And. And they said she smiled. And, you know, those moments just mean they Mean something because you're just like, if I, if I'm not making the time for these connections in my real life, I'm grateful. I'm having these cool connections on the road.
- [22:42]
Ryan Sickler
But also we're regular people and we had idols and we were fans of people growing up and stuff. And imagine whoever that was for you in your life that they took the time out to say thank you to you.
- [22:56]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
- [22:56]
Ryan Sickler
I mean, what a, What a thing.
- [22:58]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
- [22:59]
Ryan Sickler
What a, what a gift you gave that person. It's very nice. Good for you.
- [23:02]
Fortune Feimster
But I need to be better about that in my real life, you know? Yes. Just trying to have those real human connections and not only with, with, with these awesome people, but the people in, in your life as well. Definitely those. Especially in those moments you remember.
- [23:21]
Ryan Sickler
I'll put you on the spot. Then how, how do you start implementing that in your life? What do you plan to start doing? Are you starting with phone calls to people?
- [23:28]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
- [23:29]
Ryan Sickler
You have a, do you have a. So a plan? Like maybe when you're on the road on Saturday during the day, do you take a walk and talk? And that way you're. I try to do like that where I'm like, okay, I want to do something good for my body and my mind.
- [23:43]
Fortune Feimster
Right, let's.
- [23:44]
Ryan Sickler
And that would be good for your heart.
- [23:45]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I've been trying to prioritize health in general. I've. I'm down 45 pounds right now for you. I got so ginormous on the road. So. Yeah. I've been trying to find balance and I've been treading water in the pool like four or five times a week and building muscle. So that's been really nice. Just getting to a better place, healthy wise, where I feel like I have more energy to do for you things.
- [24:17]
Ryan Sickler
Listen, I think about it all the time. If you just put a backpack on with 45 pounds.
- [24:22]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
- [24:22]
Ryan Sickler
And just carried it through your day, you'd be like, I want to take this shit off. Just what you're doing for your body alone.
- [24:28]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
- [24:29]
Ryan Sickler
And also because you're on the road. You're on sitting in planes.
- [24:32]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
- [24:33]
Ryan Sickler
Sitting in cars. You're sitting a lot before you get up and go do stand up for an hour and you're barely moving. Doing that.
- [24:39]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
- [24:40]
Ryan Sickler
You know.
- [24:40]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah. When you're on the road reading junk. And I think that wasn't helping me. Like, I just was being lethargic. I was. When I wasn't working, I was just like a potato on the couch. Like even zoned out mentally. I want to be more present for me, for my wife, for the people in my life. So I think just feeling better has already made me more present and, and yeah, I've just been texting more and calling a bit more. When I had a break from filming, I flew to see my, my folks.
- [25:13]
Ryan Sickler
I was going to ask you about that.
- [25:14]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
- [25:14]
Ryan Sickler
Where are they?
- [25:15]
Fortune Feimster
Are they still North Carolina, right outside of Charlotte.
- [25:18]
Ryan Sickler
And are they still together?
- [25:19]
Fortune Feimster
Uh, they've been divorced for a long time, but they're friends, so I, I'll hang out with both of them when I'm there.
- [25:24]
Ryan Sickler
But they'll, they'll sit under the same roof with you?
- [25:27]
Fortune Feimster
Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, good.
- [25:28]
Ryan Sickler
Okay.
- [25:28]
Fortune Feimster
For sure. Um, so at the fourth of July, I went home unexpected. I surprised my mom and went home for three days. And that was really fun. Just kind of just bumming around with my parents and taking them places and watching fireworks, just having like these simple moments. And then I went back a few days before Thanksgiving for four days and same thing, just, you know, going to a movie, hanging out. Just not like having an agenda while I'm home. Just like.
- [25:58]
Ryan Sickler
Do you get recognized a lot with, when you're with your parents?
- [26:00]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah. Yeah.
- [26:01]
Ryan Sickler
How do they like that?
- [26:03]
Fortune Feimster
Oh, they love, they love it because, you know. Yeah, they're proud. And I just have a very distinct look. I don't blend in very well. So, yeah, there's a lot of people that come up and say hi and everyone's usually pretty lovely.
- [26:18]
Ryan Sickler
That's the other thing. Like, it's been nice and I want to thank my fans too, man. It's been nice to go back to the beginning of this and have cultivated really good people.
- [26:27]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
- [26:28]
Ryan Sickler
That come out. I, I mean, I have so many fans myself that bring me gifts and make homemade things that I put up here in the studio and stuff. It's just nice. They care and consider it so amazing.
- [26:38]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah, it means, you know, you're putting out positivity, you're putting out love. It comes back to, you know, it comes back. I try to.
- [26:45]
Ryan Sickler
And then they thank you. Thanks for coming to my city. Like, what are you talking about?
- [26:48]
Fortune Feimster
I know you're like, thank you. Yeah, I, I, oh, yeah. I find that there's a personal connection, I think, with comedians because I started my career four years on Chelsea lately, so I was like in people's homes as they were going to bed. You know, it's a very intimate thing in the. Not the way it sounds. But then they're watching our stand up specials and you Forget, like, when you put these out that, like, people are using these for levity. And that's what you want. You want to make people laugh. But sometimes you forget the conditions in which people are living.
- [27:23]
Ryan Sickler
They're not just sitting on a couch laughing with everything going.
- [27:26]
Fortune Feimster
Sometimes their life's falling apart, sometimes they're losing someone they love. And sometimes, you know, I've had the stories people have shared with me about the intimate moments they've had watching my special in the hospital with a loved one dying and whatever the case is, you know, going through a divorce or their kids in like, you're, you're with these people in really hard times sometimes. And you, you don't know this because, you know, you just, I just want to make people laugh. And then when they come up and tell you this really personal, amazing story, you go, man, that. Thank you for telling me that. And, and you feel like you're doing something right when you're like, okay, I was able to make that person feel better in a, in a really dark time, even if it was for 55 minutes. It means something to me. So I appreciate it when, when people say that.
- [28:20]
Ryan Sickler
How old are your parents?
- [28:22]
Fortune Feimster
What are they now? 70? My mom's about to turn 79. So they're getting up there.
- [28:30]
Ryan Sickler
And are they healthy?
- [28:31]
Fortune Feimster
Ish. You know, we're big stock. We're big folks, so we have, we all have that struggle. My dad came close to passing.
- [28:43]
Ryan Sickler
What happened?
- [28:44]
Fortune Feimster
He had open heart surgery a year and a half ago and he got put on a ventilator for three days and just wasn't coming.
- [28:56]
Ryan Sickler
Recovering from.
- [28:57]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah, he wasn't recovering from the surgery. And the, the nurse, I went to visit him and the nurses said it was really bad, that one of them was like, I started praying for him. I did. She goes, he just. The vitals were plummeting and not showing signs of coming back. And so, you know, you go, man, I don't. My dad and I are close, but we've never been like the type of relationship where we dig deep, you know, it's like, I know he loves me and he knows that I love him. We talk once a week for like three minutes.
- [29:31]
Ryan Sickler
Ok, you doing?
- [29:32]
Fortune Feimster
Good.
- [29:33]
Ryan Sickler
How you doing?
- [29:33]
Fortune Feimster
Good. But it was that moment where you go, God, I really, I know I love my dad, but you go, I love my dad. You know, I. I don't want him to die. And that, that was a wake up call. Like, I gotta spend some time with my folks. My mom's in fairly decent health. She just had a Knee surgery. But all, all went well, so they're trucking along. But you can, you know, I, I, I think there, there are times in my life right now where I go, you know, remember this moment where you have both your parents because that one day you won't. And you have your dog that you really love and you won't always do that. You have a wife that you love and you know, hopefully that's always there. You just don't know where life is going to unfold. Death obviously is inevitable. So I am just trying to be more in the moment of like, God, what a great time this is now. Because if I'm, I can call, I can pick up and call either parent. And that's such a luxury that I know a lot of people don't have.
- [30:37]
Ryan Sickler
I never did. And it makes me laugh. We have the Patreon show, Honeydew with you all. We had a, a young girl come on and her mom was horrific and her dad was everything. And she said something that still makes me laugh to this day. She's like, I don't even know how y'all have time for two parents. That made me laugh so hard.
- [30:56]
Fortune Feimster
I laugh.
- [30:57]
Ryan Sickler
What a luxury.
- [30:59]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
- [31:00]
Ryan Sickler
Juggle the other one.
- [31:01]
Fortune Feimster
You sort of, that's what, that's somebody who's, you know, seen the silver lining of it. Yeah. Right.
- [31:12]
Ryan Sickler
So are you scared of dying? Does that worry you?
- [31:16]
Fortune Feimster
I don't think about it. Yeah, I know again that it's inevitable, but I, there's so much other things to worry about and it's so not in our hands to, to start so many. I mean, you see like fit 40 year olds running around a track for fitness and they keel over of a heart attack. You know, someone at a corner in their car, minding their business. Like it's just so out of our hands. Obviously we can do things to try to be healthier and to take care of ourselves, but I don't think about it because I just can't control it, you know, and I, I.
- [31:54]
Ryan Sickler
Are you an only child?
- [31:56]
Fortune Feimster
No, I have two older brothers.
- [31:57]
Ryan Sickler
Are they back in Carolina as well? So as your parents get older, they're, someone's there to help them, you know?
- [32:05]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah, they're closer than I am. One's 30 minutes away and the other one's six hours away. So I, you know, I can't, if something happened, it would take me a day to, you know, half a day to get there where they're a lot more accessible. But yeah, I moved away 21 years.
- [32:23]
Ryan Sickler
Ago, so I'M half your life now.
- [32:26]
Fortune Feimster
I know. It's wild, isn't it? It's wild.
- [32:28]
Ryan Sickler
Think about that, too. Like, wow, I lived here longer than I lived in Maryland. I didn't even. Doesn't. It's weird to me.
- [32:33]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
- [32:34]
Tax Network USA Representative
Attention taxpayers. The IRS is intensifying collections in 2025. If you owe $10,000 or more or have unfiled tax returns, it's time to take action. Tax Network USA's experienced lawyers have saved clients over a billion dollars. They're ready to negotiate with the IRS on your behalf. Don't risk wage garnishment, property seizure or losing your home. Call 1-800-958-1000 today. Get the help you need at 1-800-958-10000 or visit tnusa.com if you love your.
- [33:05]
T-Mobile Representative
Phone but not your carrier, just switch to T Mobile. You can keep your phone, keep your number and we'll help pay it off up to $800 per line. You can also use our savings calculator to compare our plans and streaming benefits against Verizon and AT&T. So switch and keep your phone, keep your number and keep more of your moolah. @t mobile.com up to 4 lines via virtual prepaid card.
- [33:26]
Allow 15 days qualifying unlock device, credit service port in 90 plus days with device into eligible carrier and timely redemption required. Card has no cash access and expires in six months.
- [33:34]
Ryan Sickler
Months. You. You brought up a good point, too. Because, you know, there's all these people that know you as this. And then when you come out here and you're here for 20 years, there's all these people know you from the beginning of that to that. But you've got this whole other life before you. And I remember, it was Brody Stevens funeral. Well, excuse me, the memorial at the Comedy Store, not the funeral. And, you know, I didn't meet Brody till, I don't know, probably in his, probably 30s maybe, I'm guessing. And there's 30 years of Brody Stevens before that. And these guys, they did, they came up. They were guys that played baseball with him because he was a good ball player. And they all called him Steven because his name was Steven Brody. Steven.
- [34:16]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
- [34:17]
Ryan Sickler
And they're telling stories of Stephen, the same guy we know.
- [34:20]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
- [34:21]
Ryan Sickler
And we know none of this about this guy. And then it begins. All right, well, now here's when he came to the Comedy Store. And this is the Brody we all know. And they don't know that.
- [34:31]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
- [34:32]
Ryan Sickler
But it all makes sense when you hear like, of course that guy would do that.
- [34:35]
Fortune Feimster
Right.
- [34:36]
Ryan Sickler
It's interesting. I mean you've, you don't meet anyone here at birth. It's all in your 20s, 30s, and then if you're here 20 years, you know that version of them.
- [34:46]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah. And I definitely feel like there is a different version of me that existed before I moved here. Very much so, because I wasn't even out, you know, I, I didn't know who I was.
- [35:03]
Ryan Sickler
You hadn't come out before you moved to LA?
- [35:05]
Fortune Feimster
I moved to LA when I was 23 and I came out at 25. And so, you know, there's this whole life that I've lived that had nothing to do with the life I had before. And in. There are obviously traits of mine that, that go between both worlds and we're prevalent in both worlds, but I feel like a whole different human than I was.
- [35:30]
Ryan Sickler
Do you feel like a better human?
- [35:32]
Fortune Feimster
I would hope so.
- [35:34]
Ryan Sickler
But do you feel that I was.
- [35:35]
Fortune Feimster
A decent person back then? But you're young and you don't, you know, you're young, you don't go back who you are.
- [35:41]
Ryan Sickler
I mean, look, I was a good person then too, but I would definitely go back and punch 17 year old me right in the face. Oh, for sure.
- [35:47]
Fortune Feimster
I mean, I would have whispered in my ear like, you're gay. That would have been, that would have, that would have been helpful. Hey, you gay. Enjoy, have fun. That would have been very helpful to know. I, I missed out on some fun years for sure.
- [36:11]
Ryan Sickler
Yeah.
- [36:14]
Fortune Feimster
You gay?
- [36:15]
Ryan Sickler
Well, looking back, can I ask you about that? Like looking back now, was there even. I know you didn't come out, but was there a community? Was there friend, Were there friends? Was there anyone you really could. That you. Yeah, right.
- [36:28]
Fortune Feimster
No, it was a different time, you know, pre YouTube, pre. Really everything. Everything.
- [36:34]
Ryan Sickler
Were there gay bars?
- [36:36]
Fortune Feimster
I'm sure, but I, I wouldn't know anything about them. I didn't know a single gay person.
- [36:40]
Ryan Sickler
Anyone that you didn't even know, Anyone?
- [36:41]
Fortune Feimster
I didn't know one. Not one, not one out. You know, there were people.
- [36:45]
Ryan Sickler
No one in your family, at least before you had come out?
- [36:50]
Fortune Feimster
No, no one in my family.
- [36:51]
Ryan Sickler
So who the hell are you talking to about this?
- [36:53]
Fortune Feimster
I was just. I didn't know I was gay. That's what I'm saying. I had no clue. It did not even start to bubble up for me.
- [36:59]
Ryan Sickler
Can I ask about this?
- [37:00]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
- [37:01]
Ryan Sickler
So even when you were younger, you weren't just. You didn't find women attractive? I, you know what I mean?
- [37:07]
Fortune Feimster
But I kind of like Had a fantasy of like I was somebody else. If I don't know how to describe it, it wasn't thinking of me with them. I thought of like, it in terms of like a movie. And so I wasn't putting me in those shoes. It was like, because I didn't know what gay was, I didn't think it applied to me. I was intense towards my friends. Like I would get like so worked up if they were like going on a date or, and, and I would try. I was just very into some of these friends and I just had no clue what that meant. And there was no, you know, show I could see myself mirrored in, I guess. So, yeah, it's not like you go on YouTube now and like, here's my favorite gay podcaster. Yeah, yeah, everyone. The few people that I now know were gay were in the closet or married. It just There, there. No one talked about it.
- [38:03]
Ryan Sickler
Went that far.
- [38:04]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah, yeah, no one talked about it. It just was not part of our vernacular or culture or world. I'm sure it wasn't like a New York City. You're in la. This is teeny tiny North Carolina.
- [38:17]
Ryan Sickler
Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Teeny tiny, but also, you know, redneck North Carolina. And so did you, did you date boys or did you just. Not at all.
- [38:27]
Fortune Feimster
Not at all. Really?
- [38:27]
Ryan Sickler
So you were a bit of a.
- [38:29]
Fortune Feimster
Like recluse, A friend with her? No, I was everyone's friend. Yeah, I was the, the, the one, everybody. I went to the different groups and hung out with all the people. I, I found my worth in overachieving. You know, school and, and sports and that's where I found, you know, my place. And, and you know, it affects you when you're young and, and you don't know why the boys don't like you. They don't look at you like they do the other girls. They don't talk to you like they do the other girls. You think something's wrong with you. I really did not know what it was. I thought something was. I just wasn't the object of anyone's affection and I didn't know why. So, you know, it chips away at your self esteem. It makes you feel like something's wrong you. So when I moved, can I ask you this? Yeah, yeah.
- [39:19]
Ryan Sickler
What's. What was the aha moment for you then? Where were you like, oh my God.
- [39:24]
Fortune Feimster
Well, I was in la. So I started to finally see some gay people here. I didn't have any gay friends, but I was like, oh, you know, starting to Be like, oh, people are just holding hands. Okay, that's. Know that sounds so naive now, but I didn't. I did not see gay people in. In person hold hands till I was like 24 years old. And I don't think.
- [39:45]
Ryan Sickler
Listen, I don't think I did.
- [39:46]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
- [39:47]
Ryan Sickler
I didn't see any of that in Baltimore. Yeah, we didn't. I mean, I'm sure, again, there were gay bars, whatever, but I wasn't in that world, and I wouldn't see it.
- [39:55]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah. And it wasn't safe for a lot.
- [39:58]
Ryan Sickler
Of people make out in public. Was Los Angeles.
- [40:03]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
- [40:03]
Ryan Sickler
Yeah.
- [40:04]
Fortune Feimster
So, yeah, once I moved here, it just started to be more. There was a more openness, a more acceptedness of not having to be one thing. And, you know, the L Word came out. That was a big influence that showed representation. You started to see more Will and Gracers, see more gay people. And you're like, oh, you know, this is interesting. And I. I ended up just starting to let those feelings kind of bubble up of like, huh, Do I. What is that? Why am I. You know, and then. But instead of being like, like before, I was like, well, what does that mean? And. And I. It blew my mind, like, watching the L Word, seeing two women kiss. I was like, whoa. You know? And then I watched him. I joke about it in my sweet and salty Netflix special, but I watched a Lifetime movie and the girl was gay. And at the end of the movie, I was like, oh, my God, I'm gay. And that was the first time I said it out loud.
- [40:57]
Ryan Sickler
Is it really?
- [40:58]
Fortune Feimster
So I joked that a lot. Lifetime movie made me gay.
- [41:01]
Ryan Sickler
But I gotta ask you, man, you got a pension for Hooters? You were never in Hooters being fired up. Never once. You were never like.
- [41:07]
Fortune Feimster
Because I always joke, I'm fat first. So I was more. I was more focused on the wings than the breast. So, I mean, that's the spot the.
- [41:21]
Ryan Sickler
Guys go to for that stuff. But you're like that.
- [41:24]
Fortune Feimster
I wasn't.
- [41:25]
Ryan Sickler
They keep that elbow on the wagon. Hooters. They keep that elbow on the way. Yeah.
- [41:28]
Fortune Feimster
But once I. Once I put the puzzle piece together, it changed. That's why I say it changed my life. I'm not the same. Because it's a good point.
- [41:38]
Ryan Sickler
Literally, a different person.
- [41:39]
Fortune Feimster
A different person. Yeah. It opened up my whole life. The levity that came in was I felt light as a feather. For the first time in my life, I knew who I was. It just. That's such a powerful thing to know who you are. And when you don't know who you are, it's so you. You just feel held back by something, and you don't know what it is. So I was free for the first time in my life, and. And I started comedy at the same year I came out. And I don't think that's a coincidence, that. Me becoming free when you were on Chelsea.
- [42:17]
Ryan Sickler
Yeah, by then you were.
- [42:18]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
- [42:19]
Ryan Sickler
Okay.
- [42:19]
Fortune Feimster
I. I came out twice, and when I was, like, 25, I did. I got Chelsea when I was 30.
- [42:27]
Ryan Sickler
Okay.
- [42:27]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
- [42:28]
Ryan Sickler
Who. Who did you trust enough to come out to first?
- [42:32]
Fortune Feimster
My roommate at the time. I told her first just, like, to test the water, and she was like, great. And I was like, oh, cool. It was just very, like, not a big deal.
- [42:43]
Ryan Sickler
When did you get to mom and dad?
- [42:44]
Fortune Feimster
About six months into it. I needed time. I needed time. You're just like.
- [42:53]
Ryan Sickler
You don't want to jump off the.
- [42:54]
Fortune Feimster
Deep end first, and you want to make sure, like, I'm. I'm pretty. When I came out, I had not ever even kissed a woman.
- [43:02]
Ryan Sickler
Oh, so you said this before you had any sort of physical experience?
- [43:06]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah, so I needed to, like, have some experiences and make sure just that I wasn't, you know, that I. It's a journey. It really takes a minute, even. Even when you come to the realization you have to live in it, sit in it, experience it, to just really come to terms with all of it. And then I told my folks, and they were. They were great. They were awesome. But there is a lot of fear in telling your parents because not everyone's so lucky that they are disowned. Not everyone. But it is more common still than people would think. And, you know, usually church is the catalyst of that or religion and, you know, so it's a scary thing for a gay person to sit their family down and tell them this, because.
- [43:51]
Ryan Sickler
Is that how you did it?
- [43:52]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
- [43:52]
Ryan Sickler
You didn't call your mom?
- [43:54]
Fortune Feimster
No, I went back to North Carolina.
- [43:55]
Ryan Sickler
You made a trip for it?
- [43:57]
Fortune Feimster
Told my mom at the Chinese restaurant. Told my dad public.
- [44:00]
Ryan Sickler
You told her you got the house.
- [44:02]
Fortune Feimster
I needed just in case it went south. I needed to be too late. Yeah.
- [44:07]
Ryan Sickler
What was her response? Like, no big deal, or was she.
- [44:10]
Fortune Feimster
She just was more, like, listening and just worried for me. Like, you know, she knew even more.
- [44:19]
Ryan Sickler
I was gonna say, was there anyone that said no?
- [44:21]
Fortune Feimster
She never.
- [44:21]
Ryan Sickler
She never said.
- [44:22]
Fortune Feimster
When I say she knew, she actually did not know, which I find crazy. I go, what? How do you and my brother. She said, you love tutors. She said, my brothers had said stuff to her over the years, but no one said anything to me. But she was so out to lunch with it. She was like, I didn't think you were gay. I'm like, oh, my God. Like. But I think she's also living in a world of wanting me to be girly and wanted me to get. She had this. Every parent has their vision of what they think your life should be. So she just had to readjust the vision. And that takes a minute. For a while, she was like, are you sure? You know, and she doesn't want life to be harder for me because, you know, even if you're not familiar with gay people, you know that gay, you know, it's not always accepted. And. And sometimes people just hate you. Just. They don't know you, but they hate you just because you're gay. And she just said, I don't want life to be harder for you. And this might make it harder. And. And my answer is that, you know, it's hard. It would be harder for me to live my life pretending and not being who I am that it would destroy you. That would destroy me. Destro. Some strangers hate to live a lie.
- [45:38]
Ryan Sickler
Yeah, whatever.
- [45:40]
Fortune Feimster
Whatever. Yeah, I want to be happy. This is my life. I cannot control if someone hates me for no reason. And that's not my journey, that's theirs. So I've been so much happier just being who I am.
- [45:55]
Ryan Sickler
How was your dad with it? Who was better?
- [45:58]
Fortune Feimster
They were both had funny moments. Like, chief just was learning lesson, but.
- [46:03]
Ryan Sickler
Because where would you tell him again?
- [46:05]
Fortune Feimster
The park was like, we never go to the park.
- [46:08]
Ryan Sickler
Were you walking or you sit down?
- [46:09]
Fortune Feimster
We sat down.
- [46:11]
Ryan Sickler
And if my daughter took me to a park, I like, I don't know what's about to come.
- [46:16]
Fortune Feimster
And my mom followed us there, which is funny because I'm like, why are you here?
- [46:22]
Ryan Sickler
She showed up.
- [46:23]
Fortune Feimster
She was there too, but, like, sitting kind of over. And I, you know, I told you. I told you my dad and I don't dig deep, you know, so for. I'm like, suddenly about to have the first serious conversation I've had with my dad in 25 years. And, I mean, this is as serious as it gets.
- [46:43]
Ryan Sickler
Yeah.
- [46:43]
Fortune Feimster
And I just was like, dad, I. I want to say something gay. And he just goes, all right, okay. All right, all right, okay. And he was so nervous because he's like, oh, my. Like, this is like his brain. I can feel his brain just melting and ploding. And, like, not that he's against. He just doesn't know what to say, right?
- [47:03]
Ryan Sickler
Like, I don't know.
- [47:04]
Fortune Feimster
He's a simple Southern guy, you know? So he just.
- [47:07]
Ryan Sickler
His.
- [47:08]
Fortune Feimster
So his brain's kind of processing, like, all right, okay, okay. He kept going, you're my daughter. You're my daughter. I love you. You're my daughter. Which, you know, it's his best way of accepting me. It's like I couldn't ask for a more accepting answer. But he couldn't stop saying it. He just kept going, you're my daughter. I love you. You're my daughter. You're my daughter. I love you. And I'm like, oh, okay, okay. And my freaking mom goes, mike, she knows she's your daughter. She's gay. I'm like, would you stop it.
- [47:42]
Ryan Sickler
On this bedroom?
- [47:44]
Fortune Feimster
She's yelling at everyone in the park to hear. I'm like, just get out. He's. He's doing his best to, like, show emotion. She's annoyed at him for, like, not saying it how she would say it. Ask her if she's sure. Ask her if she's sure. So it ended up being, in hindsight, a pretty comedic moment, but at the.
- [48:06]
Ryan Sickler
End of the day, I mean, that's better than the alternative.
- [48:09]
Fortune Feimster
So much better.
- [48:10]
Ryan Sickler
Way better.
- [48:11]
Fortune Feimster
I will take your. My daughter, I love you, any day.
- [48:14]
Ryan Sickler
What about your brothers? You had said. Your mom said they already.
- [48:17]
Fortune Feimster
So they were like, yeah, we know.
- [48:20]
Ryan Sickler
And are they good?
- [48:21]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah, yeah. I mean, it was funny when I told them, it was. We were standing outside my. On my mom's deck, and I told them, and they're like, yeah, I mean, yeah, we get. We're. We're looking at you. We know. And brothers. And they go, you'll never guess what is behind you right now. And I turn around, and there's a giant rainbow in the snow.
- [48:45]
Ryan Sickler
Swear to God, when you came out.
- [48:47]
Fortune Feimster
To your brother, like, I ordered a VIP package of coming out. Like, come on. It was. And then what? You know, my family has a good sense of humor. One brother, a couple months later, for Christmas, bought me some book with about a beaver. I'm like, okay, so now we're already at beaver jokes. But, yeah, I'm very lucky. They're all awesome about it.
- [49:15]
Ryan Sickler
And I don't mean you can tell me to shut up if I'm getting too personal. But you. I heard you say your mom had to switch. Was she planning to be grandma and all this stuff?
- [49:27]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah, she. You know, my brothers at that point.
- [49:32]
Ryan Sickler
Do they have kids?
- [49:33]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah, they have kids. One was already married and one I think, I can't remember the timeline exactly. I think he was maybe engaged. So, you know, she already had the two kids going down that path of getting married and they were gonna have kids and, and you know, I think because I told you she was so into wanting me to, you know, have this certain life that was safe and you know, just like the, the husband and the kids, that's kind of what you envision because that's the status quo.
- [50:07]
Ryan Sickler
That's what they, you know, preach to all of us.
- [50:09]
Fortune Feimster
And she wanted so much for me to be a girly girl my whole life. And I think it's just, oh, wait, that's not part of the plan. Girly girls don't are gay. And I'm like, well, I'm not a girly girl, you know. So, yeah, she just had to. To readjust her what my, my life looked like and that it wouldn't be status quo. It wouldn't be. I don't even know what it's going to look like. I can't guess. I didn't grow up thinking of what that looked like or being aware or exposed to just everyday gay people living their life. So I had a lot of questions myself.
- [50:50]
Ryan Sickler
But also, I mean, I'm sitting here really thinking about what you said and you came out when again, 25. I mean, it's almost half your life lived as this other person.
- [51:00]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
- [51:00]
Ryan Sickler
And not just only in fear, but also confusion. And I'm not really sure I'm this, I mean, man, this is, this is the. You gotta feel so much better about that.
- [51:12]
Fortune Feimster
Oh yeah. And. And now that I've been out for, God, it's almost 20 years.
- [51:19]
Ryan Sickler
Yeah.
- [51:21]
Fortune Feimster
You know, I, I reiterate, this isn't a choice. I'm definitely was born this way and, and people, you know, disagree on that all the time.
- [51:32]
Ryan Sickler
Is that right? You get challenged on that.
- [51:34]
Fortune Feimster
I don't personally, but like, there are many people who are against gay people that believe it's a choice. I know. Based on just. I can look back my entire life and like, yep, yep, yep, yep. I mean, it was so part of me from early on. But I say now, even if it was a choice, I would choose it.
- [51:56]
Ryan Sickler
Yeah.
- [51:56]
Fortune Feimster
I would choose it 1000% over being straight any day.
- [52:02]
Ryan Sickler
Well, you're not. Or lying about being something else like that.
- [52:05]
Fortune Feimster
I just, I enjoy it. I like my life, life. I like my wife. I don't want an alternative.
- [52:11]
Ryan Sickler
You know, I. When I first moved here, I had this manager of a hotel I worked at, Jim McParlin. Give him a shout Out. He's a gay dude who really. Actually, he's the guy that got me in the Groundlings.
- [52:23]
Fortune Feimster
Oh, nice.
- [52:23]
Ryan Sickler
Yeah, he took it. So I didn't realize. When you do, like, the 101 level, it's not just comedian wannabes or actors.
- [52:29]
Fortune Feimster
There's.
- [52:30]
Ryan Sickler
There are people who have fear of speaking in public. And I had a few of them in my class. They're like, I'm just here to try to get these nerves out of me.
- [52:37]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
- [52:37]
Ryan Sickler
I got to speak in front of crowds for work.
- [52:39]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
- [52:40]
Ryan Sickler
And he. He went and did that. So he told me. He's like, you would. This is right up your alley. You love your stand up. You should go. So anyway, he was gay, and he really would take me to lunch all the time. And he educated me because I was just this, you know, ignorant kid from Maryland who didn't know anything about.
- [52:57]
Fortune Feimster
I didn't even know.
- [52:58]
Ryan Sickler
I didn't even know a gay person.
- [53:00]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
- [53:00]
Ryan Sickler
And I asked him, I said, you know, people. I hear people say it's a choice. And I know what I believe, but what do you believe? And he said to me, do you think I would choose to get my ass kicked every fucking day in high school? And I said, you know what? How simply said is that? And, yeah, I'm not just choosing this path. That's harder for me. This is who I am. And he said, when did you know you like girls? And I was like, oh, my God. First grade. First grade I got called kissing a girl named Brandy under a blanket by my mom. And I would do the I don't like you, I love you. And he's like, that's when I knew I liked boys. That's when I was attracted to boys. And I was like, I get it.
- [53:43]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
- [53:44]
Ryan Sickler
And then he explained something else to me that honestly made me wish I was gay.
- [53:48]
Fortune Feimster
Fortune.
- [53:49]
Ryan Sickler
He goes, you know how you take a lady out and you quarter and there's a little bit of a if. If it's not a wham, bam, thank you, ma'am, there's some courting and getting to know one another before they're safe and feel comfortable to have sex with you?
- [54:01]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
- [54:01]
Ryan Sickler
And then he looked at me and he goes, now imagine. I go, oh, my God, if this met this. He goes, it blew my mind. That's the first time I said that. I go. He goes, imagine your testosterone. I go, meeting that test. He goes, yeah, well, then imagine.
- [54:17]
Fortune Feimster
Well, then imagine the. The girls in this situation. It's the whole other opposite. More courting, more of this, more talking more. All of it.
- [54:27]
Ryan Sickler
And it all made sense.
- [54:29]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
- [54:29]
Ryan Sickler
Like I get it.
- [54:30]
Fortune Feimster
Yeah. But here I am, you know, happy and just living my truth. And that's very powerful. Not only, you know, for yourself, for your mental health and just being happy and, and now it's just finding the balance. That's where we're at. Yeah. That work life balance.
- [54:50]
Ryan Sickler
Good for you. Fortune. Thanks for doing this. I love you. You're really sweetie. I love you. You got a good heart.
- [54:55]
Fortune Feimster
Always nice talking, talking to you.
- [54:57]
Ryan Sickler
Please promote your special one more time.
- [54:59]
Fortune Feimster
All of it crushing it on Netflix, doing shows around California. Then a bunch starting in April. Fortune fer.com all that good stuff. Ryan, thank you for having me.
- [55:11]
Ryan Sickler
Thank you.
- [55:11]
Fortune Feimster
It's always great to see you.
- [55:13]
Ryan Sickler
Always. Always. And as always, Ryan Sickler on all your social media. We'll talk to you all next week.
- [55:41]
T-Mobile Representative
At T Mobile. We'll give you four free 5G phones and four lines for only $25 per line per month with eligible trade ins. And no, it's not a contest. It's every day for a limited time. Everyone's a winner on America's largest 5G network.
- [55:54]
Minimum of 4 lines for $25 per line per month with autopay discount using debit or bank account. $5 more per line without autopay. Up to $830 off each phone via 24 monthly bill credits plus taxes, fees and $10 device connection charge for well qualified customers. Contact us before canceling entire account to continue bill credits or credit stop and balance on required finance agreement too. Bill credits end if you pay off devices early. Ctmobile.com.