Tom Papa - PapaDew

Summary

Podcast Summary: The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler – Episode Featuring Tom Papa

Title: Tom Papa - PapaDew
Release Date: November 25, 2024
Host: Ryan Sickler
Guest: Tom Papa
Description: In this heartfelt and introspective episode, comedian Tom Papa shares his personal journey, highlighting the profound impact of loss and how it has shaped his life and career. From his early upbringing in New Jersey to the tragic loss of close friends, Tom delves deep into the challenges and lessons learned along the way.

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Introduction to the Episode

Ryan Sickler welcomes comedian Tom Papa to "The HoneyDew," setting the stage for a candid conversation about life's lows and the resilience required to overcome them. The episode promises a blend of humor and poignant storytelling, reflecting the show's theme of finding laughter in life's hardships.

Early Life and Family Background

Tom Papa opens up about his upbringing in Northern New Jersey, detailing his family dynamics and the strong bond between his parents.

Tom Papa: "My parents met at 16 and they're going to be 80 next year." [08:07]

He describes his father as a successful salesman in early telecommunications and his mother as a dedicated homemaker who later pursued a degree to run a small advertising agency. Tom grew up with two younger sisters in East Rutherford, near the Meadowlands.

Motorcycle Riding and Relationship with His Father

A significant portion of the discussion revolves around Tom's love for motorcycles and his father's passion for riding. Their shared interest not only strengthened their bond but also became a symbol of freedom and adventure in Tom's youth.

Tom Papa: "My father still rides his motorcycle. He's got four right now." [08:57]

Ryan expresses astonishment at an 80-year-old riding motorcycles, leading Tom to humorously explain the transition of older bikers to trikes for safety.

Tom Papa: "A foot brake. It's a little bit like a car, but you're still out there." [09:43]

Their conversation highlights the generational differences in motorcycle culture and the enduring spirit of Tom's father.

Friendship and the Pain of Loss

Tom Papa shares deeply personal stories about the friends he lost at a young age, emphasizing how these tragedies influenced his perspective on life and comedy.

The Loss of Keith

Tom recounts the heartbreaking loss of his best friend Keith in a moped accident when Tom was just 14. This event was his first encounter with death, leaving a lasting impact on his understanding of loss.

Tom Papa: "It was the first real death that I had experienced." [18:06]

He describes the emotional turmoil and the immediate realization of mortality that came with Keith's passing.

The Tragic Case of Little Dave

In college, Tom befriends Little Dave, a resilient and spirited individual who met an untimely death at 21 due to a stroke. Their friendship was marked by shared battles and mutual support.

Tom Papa: "Little Dave was super, super funny. He was just his own person and really cutting." [28:48]

Tom reflects on the suddenness of Dave's death and how it mirrored the earlier loss of Keith, reinforcing the fragility of life.

Greg Giraldo: Comrade and Mentor

Tom's bond with fellow comedian Greg Giraldo is explored, highlighting their camaraderie in the early days of their comedy careers. Greg's untimely death due to substance abuse issues deeply affected Tom.

Tom Papa: "Greg was the first comedian I ever met. We just hit it off immediately." [41:19]

He shares memories of their shared passion for comedy and motorcycles, portraying Greg as both a mentor and a close friend.

Impact of Loss on Personal Life and Comedy

Tom delves into how these losses have shaped his comedic voice and personal outlook. The recurring theme of death and loss in his comedy acts serves as both a coping mechanism and a way to connect with his audience on a deeper level.

Tom Papa: "When you're 14 and that happens... you grow up that way." [19:42]

He discusses the juxtaposition of humor and tragedy, explaining how his ability to find laughter amidst sorrow has been integral to his career.

Parenting and Shifting Perspectives on Death

As a father, Tom shares how his own experiences with loss have influenced his approach to parenting. He emphasizes the delicate balance between protecting his children and allowing them to understand the realities of life.

Tom Papa: "Being a parent definitely, definitely puts it in perspective." [21:38]

The conversation touches on the fears and responsibilities that come with parenting, especially in a world where tragedies can strike unexpectedly.

Advice to His Younger Self

Towards the end of the episode, Tom offers heartfelt advice to his 16-year-old self, encouraging youthful determination and seizing opportunities without hesitation.

Tom Papa: "The advice I would give to 16-year-old me would be... You're in it now. Get to work." [56:47]

This nugget of wisdom encapsulates the essence of embracing one's passion and not waiting for validation or the "right time" to pursue dreams.

Conclusion

The episode wraps up with Ryan expressing gratitude for Tom's openness and the profound insights shared. Tom promotes his Netflix specials and books, subtly weaving in elements of his personal journey into his professional endeavors.

Tom Papa: "Just go watch Home Free on Netflix and then I've got two or three other specials on there as well." [58:10]

Ryan and Tom part ways with a sense of camaraderie, underscoring the episode's blend of humor, tragedy, and the enduring human spirit.

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Notable Quotes:

• Tom Papa: "My parents met at 16 and they're going to be 80 next year." [08:07]
• Tom Papa: "Little Dave was super, super funny. He was just his own person and really cutting." [28:48]
• Tom Papa: "The advice I would give to 16-year-old me would be... You're in it now. Get to work." [56:47]
• Tom Papa: "Being a parent definitely, definitely puts it in perspective." [21:38]

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This episode of "The HoneyDew with Ryan Sickler" offers a raw and authentic look into the life of Tom Papa, blending humor with the harsh realities of loss. For listeners seeking a balance of laughter and emotional depth, this conversation serves as a poignant reminder of the resilience of the human spirit.

Transcript

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[Amazon Books Representative]

Millions of books on Amazon, there's a reading feeling for everyone.

[Tom Papa]

For example, Juan's as he drifts away to nirvana after only the first chapter is different to Maya's when she discovered.

[Amazon Books Representative]

The narrator was in fact the evil.

[Tom Papa]

Twin, which is also different to Noah's. Aw, anytime the cute cyberpunk is mentioned, even though in reality he'd be totally out of his league from two to Amazon books, that reading feeling awaits.

[Ryan Sickler]

I've been getting a lot of questions about when is the way back going to be on Patreon, and I'm excited to announce it is finally here. Plus bonus content. Right now for just $5, you get the Honeydew a day early. You get it ad free and you get a full bonus episode of the Honey do with youh all, where listeners highlight their lowlights. And it's going to stay that way. Five bucks. And for just $3 more, you're also going to get the way back a day early and ad free. But that's not all. You'll get exclusive bonus content with the guests, some fun segments, maybe some games, and we'd love to get you guys involved. And that's all for only $3 more. And there's no censorship on any of the Patreon episodes. Subscribe Now. Fort Lauderdale Unfortunately, I'm not going to be able to make it. We're going to try to get some dates rescheduled as soon as possible. Tampa, Florida. I can't wait to come back to side Splitters. I'll be there Saturday, December 7th, one night only. Tempe, Arizona. I'll see y'all December 20th and 21st at the Tempe Improv. Get your tickets now on my [e-mail].

[Tom Papa]

The Honeydew with Ryan Sickler.

[Ryan Sickler]

Welcome back to the Honey do y'all. We're over here doing it in the Night Pants Studios. I'm Ryan Sickler. Ryan Sickler.com Ryan Sickler on all your social media. And I'm going to start this episode like I start them all by saying thank you. Sincerely, thank you very much for supporting not only this show, but anything that I do. Whether you're coming to live shows, Merch, I don't care what it is. Thank you so much. And if you do want to come see a live show, tickets are on my [e-mail] and if you got to have more than I'm telling you, you got to have the Patreon. All right. It's this show. It's the Honeydew with you all. And every week we hear something wildly different. It is the best show on Patreon. It's five bucks. It's been that way since day one. It's in library of hundreds of episodes. And it's all your show. So if you were someone, you know has a story that has to be heard, please submit it to the honeydew podcastmail.com Excuse me. Please submit it to honeydewpodcastmail.com and hopefully we get to do an episode with you. And thank you for supporting the way back. Make sure you're watching that every week. It's such a fun show to watch, to bring people's childhoods and past to life. And that's it, guys. That's the biz. You know what we do here? We highlight the lowlights and always say, these are the stories behind the storytellers. I am very excited to have this guest on today. It's been a minute. Been wanting it for a while. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Top Pop.

[Tom Papa]

Welcome to Top Pop. Thank you for having me.

[Ryan Sickler]

Thank you for being here.

[Tom Papa]

Thank you for the coffee and the big cup.

[Ryan Sickler]

You got it. Thank you for making some.

[Tom Papa]

I had help.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah, everyone needs help with that thing out there, dude.

[Tom Papa]

Yeah, it's tricky.

[Ryan Sickler]

Well, thank you for being here. And before we get into whatever we're gonna talk about, please Right there. Plug it all, buddy. Everything.

[Tom Papa]

Plug it all. I guess the biggest thing right now is my Netflix special, Home Free. Just came out a couple weeks ago, and it's very funny. It's my third Netflix and it's up.

[Ryan Sickler]

Congrats, man.

[Tom Papa]

People are loving it. I haven't heard that, but I'm assuming. And then my Breaking Bread with Tom Papa podcast, which you have to come on.

[Ryan Sickler]

I'd love to break bread.

[Tom Papa]

We'll feed you. Yeah, it'll be good. You get bread when you come.

[Ryan Sickler]

That's what I'm talking about. This body's built on bread.

[Tom Papa]

Yeah, this isn't carb. Like. Yeah. So the podcast and the Special and then tompapa.com if you want to see me live.

[Ryan Sickler]

All right, yeah, let's dive in, because first of all, I want to know your whole history. It's easy to look shit up on the Internet, but I know. I know not to believe a lot of what I read on the Internet. So where originally are you from? Tell me about your parents, your siblings.

[Tom Papa]

I grew up in New Jersey.

[Ryan Sickler]

Where?

[Tom Papa]

Northern New Jersey, about half hour outside of New York City.

[Ryan Sickler]

Okay.

[Tom Papa]

That's like New York Giants, Yankees, Meadowlands area. Meadowlands, yeah. And my parents grew up right by the Meadowlands in Clifton, New Jersey. They were high school sweethearts, and they got married and had me, and then I lived in East Rutherford, which is the Meadowlands was my first apartment when I was a baby, which I have no memory of. And. Yeah, and then they had me and my two younger sisters.

[Ryan Sickler]

Okay, so you have three kids? Two now. What did your parents do?

[Tom Papa]

My father was a salesman. He worked in early communications before, just as all computer telecommunications stuff was starting. He was in Those companies like GDC and AT&T's of the time, and he was very successful salesman. And then my mother was a mom, and then she went back to school when we were little kids to get her degree, and then she ran a small ad agency.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, nice.

[Tom Papa]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

And that's also back when you literally had to go back to school. You had to drive. You know what I mean? Now, if you want to continue get your masters, you can absolutely do an online program. You don't have to get in the car, leave the kids. Everybody, dinner's in the oven. I'm gone. I'm going to do my classes tonight.

[Tom Papa]

No, dropping us off.

[Ryan Sickler]

Do you remember going back?

[Tom Papa]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Do you remember when she went back?

[Tom Papa]

Yeah, yeah. It was really pretty cool. She was like. She was going for it, and she always had a even when we were really little, I remember her having a little feminist bent to the whole thing. Even though she was raising three of us and my dad was on the road and stuff and she like you always. Something was always bubbling. She was always going to do something. And then I remember starting to go to school. I remember her graduating. We had a big party when she graduated. All night.

[Ryan Sickler]

That's okay. Good.

[Tom Papa]

Yeah. And she did the whole thing.

[Ryan Sickler]

And did your parents stay together the whole time? Were they that Colle couple?

[Tom Papa]

Yeah, they're still together. Are they really 16 years old and 16. Started 16 and they're going to be 80 next year.

[Ryan Sickler]

How about.

[Tom Papa]

I mean, it's a big one.

[Ryan Sickler]

That's big.

[Tom Papa]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Awesome. They're going to be 80. So what is that? 64 years of marriage?

[Tom Papa]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

64. 74, yeah. Holy crap.

[Tom Papa]

I don't know if they're at 60, but yeah. No, they went the whole way.

[Ryan Sickler]

They met at 16.

[Tom Papa]

I think they're married. Yeah. Then married. Probably 21 or something.

[Ryan Sickler]

I mean their marriage is almost a senior citizen.

[Tom Papa]

Yeah. That's a long one. Yeah, it's a good one. It works. They're good. They're pretty solid. They always had. They always seemed younger than they, than the other kids. Parents.

[Ryan Sickler]

Are they still healthy and like take care of each other and stuff?

[Tom Papa]

Yeah. It's a weird though, like they're, they're healthy and they're still mobile and my father still rides his motorcycle.

[Ryan Sickler]

Nah.

[Tom Papa]

And what kind of motorcycles your dad ride? I think he's got four right now.

[Ryan Sickler]

What are there other guys? Okay, I'm just blown away. Are there other 80 year old men out there on motorcycles? Does he have like a crew?

[Tom Papa]

He's got a crew.

[Ryan Sickler]

And I wouldn't think anybody over like 75 would ride a motorcycle.

[Tom Papa]

Well, it's changing and it's a funny dynamic because a couple of them are moving to trikes.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tom Papa]

You know the three wheeled motorcycles, which makes perfect sense. And my father was like. I'm like, dude, just try it. Sit on. I won't do it. He won't even sit on it.

[Ryan Sickler]

Once that rheumatoid hits, you're gonna have to hit the. I think that's got like the tube brake system or something in there. You don't have to do the hands.

[Tom Papa]

A foot break.

[Ryan Sickler]

I think they have a foot brake in there.

[Tom Papa]

It's a little bit like a car, but you're still out.

[Ryan Sickler]

Whatever.

[Tom Papa]

Yeah, you're 80.

[Ryan Sickler]

It's still open. You're 80 you're 80. I mean, your reactions.

[Tom Papa]

Yeah, I mean, you know now, like, just even at our age, it's like, you know, stuff's different. He's, you know, 30 years older than I am. That's like.

[Ryan Sickler]

I have my motorcycle license. I will not ride anymore out here. Just. I was never comfortable on it. I really was. And I had it for a summer. I had a bike for like a summer and a half. I'm from Maryland. So when you were a kid. No, I'm an adult. I mean, I'm a young man. I'm 22. 21. Yeah, 20. 20 was somewhere in there. And I was never that guy, though. I'm the cruise dude. I don't need to get anywhere fast. I don't care. But there's nothing like being on the beltway and having an 18 wheeler that little. I'll never forget it. You know the little center hub that floats.

[Tom Papa]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Right here. Yeah. Just this far away where you're going 80 miles an hour. And I look over and I'm thinking, like, what am I, what am I doing?

[Tom Papa]

I know it is insane.

[Ryan Sickler]

A chance.

[Tom Papa]

It's insane.

[Ryan Sickler]

And these days with the texting and everything, I would even think it's not a young. It's not an old man's game.

[Tom Papa]

I was just following, coming here to see you. I was coming from the beach and there were four guys on electroglides Harleys just cruising and I was behind them. And I always take pride because I know give them distance, don't ride up on them. Kind of like make room for them. Yeah, I feel like I'm part of the pack. I'm still doing it, guys. I had a bike once and it's definitely when you're doing it, it's different than you looking at it from the car angle. You know what I mean? Like, when you're in it, it's a lot like stand up in that. When you're doing it all the time, it seems like the most normal thing in the world. You take a year off like we did during the pandemic, and you're like, this is a weird thing we're doing. This is a weird thing we're not.

[Ryan Sickler]

Allowed to do either at that time. That's weird. We have a job we' allowed to do.

[Tom Papa]

Yeah. So I mean, there is definitely. I stopped doing. I stopped.

[Ryan Sickler]

Right.

[Tom Papa]

I rode with him and you did with his crew and stuff for like a long time. And when I had my first daughter and it was right at the time my career was starting to get some Footing. And my daughter was born and it was like. And I moved to la and I was like, I just gave my bikes to my nephews.

[Ryan Sickler]

That's nice.

[Tom Papa]

And I haven't been on a bike since, and I miss it. There's a lot of great things about it. But the hairiest ride he ever had was getting his friend's bike from San Diego and coming up to see me in la. And my mother and my father got off that bike at my house and they were frazzled.

[Ryan Sickler]

Wait, she was on the back the whole way?

[Tom Papa]

Oh, they've. Oh, fuck. Yeah. They've done, like, the whole world together on the back.

[Ryan Sickler]

Your mom's like, so. Your mom's like.

[Tom Papa]

They would go to Europe. Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Like, she really knows how to ride back there.

[Tom Papa]

Yeah, she has. They'll do small rides now, but, yeah, it's. You know, it's. You get older, there's stuff. You know, they pulled into, like, a town and they just kind of, like, tipped over, like, in traffic in, like, a little New England town. They just kind of, like, worried about just, you know, just not putting your feet. I did that once when my wife and I went cross country on my bike and we were just so tired, and we pulled into the Days Inn and she was going to go check us into the hotel, and she got off the bike and went in. And I just sat there, put my feet on the pegs, and then realized, no, my feet should be on the ground. Boom. And I fell over. You're just tired and, you know, when you're tired and pushing 80, you know, hopefully he'll get a trike.

[Ryan Sickler]

I hope so. Yeah.

[Tom Papa]

But he's got four bikes now. He's got an Electric Glide, a vmax and BMW and something else.

[Ryan Sickler]

I mean, I was just so young, and I knew better, too. I had an FZ600, a Yamaha. It was like a year before they made the fzr. It was just a fast fucking rocket. And I'm coming back from Ocean City, Maryland, you probably know it. And I'm going across the Chesapeake Bay Bridge, which is voted the scariest BRIDGE in the U.S. it is, and I believe it, pouring down rain. And as I'm already through the toll, and I'm like. And I mean torrential. And I am driving across that bridge and hitting those great tours. I'm like, windy.

[Tom Papa]

It's windy.

[Ryan Sickler]

Super windy. And I'm like, oh, my God. Oh, my God, Never again.

[Tom Papa]

I killed a flamingo. Or like a crane. I was going to see the Grateful Dead when I was in College with my buddies and we're doing the Chesapeake Bay Bridge. Tunnel, Bridge, tunnel, bridge, tunnel. And we went through the tunnel and we came out to go up to the bridge and there was a crane, like, long neck, long legs. Saw Neoja hit. You caught in the wind. He just could not get its bearings. And I can't. I can't go this way. And there's cars coming. I can't go that way. So I just got to. We just screamed for the bird and he came and just like hit the windshield and broke my rear view mirror. And I remember it clear as day looking at my rear view mirror and just seeing this bird like in all different, just.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, and it didn't make you wreck.

[Tom Papa]

Or anything now, you know, it burns pretty light.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah.

[Tom Papa]

It's not like hitting a deer, but it was big. Like it was a six foot long in all directions thing. But that. Yeah, that is nasty. Being on a bike on that. Forget it. Forget it.

[Ryan Sickler]

I want to talk about some of your, like, growing up, some of your childhood friends, because you told me something interesting before. We talked and you said that all your. You said best friends. I believe he have died. All of them. We haven't talked to anybody who's ever sat down and said, all my best friends have died. And then I said, yeah, are you the last one? You said, well, they all necessarily didn't know one another. You're the common denominator. Yeah.

[Tom Papa]

They weren't a crew.

[Ryan Sickler]

So who's the earliest longest tenured friend.

[Tom Papa]

Before checkout when we were 15. 14 going on to 15? My best friend Keith. My friend Keith was funny. Super funny. Big Irish family.

[Ryan Sickler]

And how do you know from high school? You play sports?

[Tom Papa]

No, grade school.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, wow.

[Tom Papa]

We were like.

[Ryan Sickler]

So you didn't meet him?

[Tom Papa]

Third grade. Met in third grade. And then we're friends until freshman year of high school and. Yeah. And then he passed away in a moped accident.

[Ryan Sickler]

We're sitting here talking about motorcycles.

[Tom Papa]

I know. Yeah, exactly.

[Ryan Sickler]

I can't even believe we're talking about your.

[Tom Papa]

That's right. I didn't even connect that.

[Ryan Sickler]

But you know, remember that was. The pedals were hot. One.

[Tom Papa]

They were hot. And I think you.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yep. And what were you. Were you. I think legally maybe 13, you were allowed to, like, have one. So not a full license, but you could go around on it, Right? Am I right about.

[Tom Papa]

You're exactly right. And there was no place on the.

[Ryan Sickler]

Road for a moped and no one's wearing helmets.

[Tom Papa]

I'm sure there's no place you're not fast enough to be like a motorcycle going with traffic. You're on these little New Jersey side roads with no shoulders. And they were fast. They were pretty fast. And, you know, kids would drill holes in the baffle and make it louder and have a little more. Get a little more horsepower out of it. And two of my friends had them. And there was just this one stretch of road that didn't have any curbs, and it was parking lots and coming and going, and some van or truck or something came out of nowhere, and that was that. And so that was really pretty. That was heavy.

[Ryan Sickler]

How'd you find out? Who told you?

[Tom Papa]

That's a good question. It must have been my parents.

[Ryan Sickler]

And did they do something for him at school? Do you remember, like, a thing or.

[Tom Papa]

It was. No, it was a funeral. And at the church and at the nursing. Not nursing home. The funeral home. And it was pretty heady because it was the first real death that I had experienced.

[Ryan Sickler]

That's what I wanted to ask.

[Tom Papa]

There were no. Like, it was the first one. There was no grandparent. Everyone was still going.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah.

[Tom Papa]

I mean, and at that young, young age, I learned so much about the whole process. You know, it's devastating. It's. It wrecks you. But then all that stuff about people's fake grief at the funeral, because it was almost like a happening, because there was. It was a kid, you know, so people came in, watching how adults dealt with it, watching how my parents dealt with it. It was. It was very. I was very observant about the whole process. It was really, really heavy. But then I got, like, I. It kind of just put it all in perspective real quick. Like, I had at 14, a very clear, hyper awareness of what death was. You know what I mean? Like, I know people who didn't lose people till much later, and they have a hard time dealing with it or understanding loss or understanding the finite nature of all this. But when you're 14 and that happens, like, with the, like, funniest, closest kid to you, you grow up that way. I was a moron in a whole bunch of other ways and still had to grow a ton. But that part of it.

[Ryan Sickler]

Do you ever think about that now as a parent? How you actually, back then were witnessing every. Also, because we. A girl who's like, my sister, no doubt, she passed away in a car accident with another friend of ours. Some drunk driver hit them, killed both of them.

[Tom Papa]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

They were buckled in, whole nine.

[Tom Papa]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

And I remember witnessing a lot of parents being scared to come talk to her mom. Or say anything, because that's their worst nightmare. You ever think about that now as a parent, like, you're looking back like, that's just. That's somebody's child in there. And other parents are like, we don't want that to happen to our fucking kid.

[Tom Papa]

Yeah, yeah. No, I mean, it's. You know, when you have kids, it's one of the. It's one of the greatest blessings of your life. And so some. One of the most terrifying experiences of your life because you have to put out of your mind or quickly. Not even put out of your mind, quickly usher out all the invasive thoughts about the worst things that can happen to them out of your head and just keep. And then order dinner. You know what I mean? Like, it's. And to. You know, and I remember as a kid, like, hearing, well, the worst thing you could ever happen to you is lose a child. Like, that is the ultimate death, you know, in terms of being painful. And, you know, now that my kids are 22 and 19, it's like, well, what a blessing that we got those 19, 20 years, you know, without, like, we didn't have to do what those parents had to do, you know, who knows what the future holds and all that kind of stuff. But, yeah, being a parent definitely, definitely puts it in perspective. The cool thing is I still run into his family.

[Ryan Sickler]

You do? That's nice.

[Tom Papa]

Randomly. Because of comedy.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah. Yeah. Good. Did they come see you or something like that? Like, hey, we're here.

[Tom Papa]

I've seen a couple of his sisters have come to shows. I wrote about him in one of my books, my first book, I think.

[Ryan Sickler]

And is that, you know, and then.

[Tom Papa]

Got to the mother. The mother.

[Ryan Sickler]

Good for you.

[Tom Papa]

Got to read that.

[Ryan Sickler]

I mean, man, how. Years later. How about that?

[Tom Papa]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

This little boy that was friends with my son who died is now a famous comedian, and he also remembers my son in a fond way. He's not on podcast.

[Tom Papa]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

So we used whatever. Yeah, he has all. Awesome.

[Tom Papa]

Good for you. It's. Yeah, it's. It's. It's definitely kind of trippy that, like. Like, his spirit has always kind of been circulating. You know what I mean? Like, he was very, very funny. He was the funniest person I knew. He was so funny. He would make adults just.

[Ryan Sickler]

It's all more tragic when they're funny.

[Tom Papa]

Oh, God. And a big Irish funny fan.

[Ryan Sickler]

Everybody thinks it's more tragic when they're pretty. It's more tragic.

[Tom Papa]

And he came from a funny family. Like, the whole. Like, there was a lot of them, and they were Irish. It was like the priest would come over and even that guy was funny. And. And. But to be in that family and be like, the funniest one was like, he was funny. So, like, I always had thoughts of him when I was starting comedy, you know, and then to be like you said, like, in the journey of comedy and having them still kind of circulate. And I just pulled a bible off of my shelf that I had just, like, kept in. And it's his bible. It was his bible from when we were in CCD together into catechism. Yeah, his little name. His name is like, written in the thing. I think it was like 1979 or something. And it's his bible. So I keep that on my desk. So he was always kind of. Still is kind of like, it kind of bends time. It's been so long. So long.

[Ryan Sickler]

So the way this went for you is you got the news and then you go to a viewing or a funeral. There was no hospital visit. Like, he was gone right away. He didn't sort of live for a while.

[Tom Papa]

Yeah, he was. It was like, no, I do. Yeah, like you're piecing it together. I remember hearing about the accident and then hearing, is he going to be okay? And then hearing, he's gone. Yeah, I think I talked about that once in my act, that all of a sudden, words that I never heard before, all of a sudden we're being heard in the house. Critical condition, life support services, wake. All of that was like, you know, as a little kid, you're like, what? What, what? Yeah, it was pretty. It was really, really heavy. And. Yeah, so that was 14.

[Ryan Sickler]

And so who's the next friend that passes and how old are you then?

[Tom Papa]

So then I have lots of really close friends. I come from great high school, and I'm still really tight with a lot of them. And I went to college and I had a really close friend, Little Dave. We called him Little Dave because he was little guy. And the first time we met him, he was being. And it's funny. Keith was little, too. Keith was really short, and he was kind of a wise ass. Like, he was really funny, and we kind of. And I was big. I was this size in seventh grade. And Keith was like that. So he would wise off to people and they would go come over to kick his ass, and then I would step in like my bodyguard, and then I would beat their ass and. Or at least stop him from getting his ass kicked. And that was the routine. And it wasn't like so noble. He was intentionally trying to get us into fights by being an ass to people. But the point is, he was this little guy, little troublemaker. And then in college, I meet Little Dave. One we're in college and some drunk assholes in the dorm across from us are shoving this little kid in a garbage can. Everyone's drunk on a Saturday night in the beginning of school. And I. Because I was this size forever, I do have a affection for smaller, odd guys. And so I stepped in with another friend of mine to save this kid who's being stuffed in the garbage can. And we got in a fight with the guys that were doing it and. And we befriended Dave, who. He was Little Dave, because my roommate was another Dave, who was like six. So Little Dave and Big Dave. And so we became friends with Little Dave and Little Dave, same thing. Small guy, didn't take shit from anybody. Was just really smart, really funny. He was very small, but he had long hair. He was a deadhead. And he had just. He just had this chutzpah. He just had this. Nobody was gonna. People would see him and, like, want to mock him or something, you know, he had real little hands and big eyes and. But he was just like. He stood more proud and more confident than anyone I ever met. And he just would not take shit from. And we were back in the situation of, you know, he sticking up for Little Dave or whatever. But I learned a ton from. From Dave. Like, he was this great individual spirit. And he was super, super funny again. And he was just his own person and really cutting. Like, he. As funny as that little description is of him, he was the coolest of us. You know, we were all like these. I was in theater, and he was. We were all, like, into the dead. And he was the one that was the arbiter of what was cool. He got the Village voice. He said, these are the bands. He said, this is the music. He said, these are the shows we're going to go to. He called out, your girlfriend, if she didn't. Wasn't cool enough to hang with all of us. You know what I mean? That guy Tracy ain't coming, dude. What's with her? Smoked tons of weed. Really great guy and smart. And so we graduate college, and my wife and I are living with each other. We're probably boyfriend, girlfriend at that time. And we go to meet Little Dave and his new wife for lunch on, like, a Tuesday afternoon in Chelsea, the meatpacking district in New York. We're sitting in the restaurant waiting for them to come and they never come. And there's no cell phones. This is just before all of it. And he had a stroke in the middle of the night. He had a heart condition.

[Ryan Sickler]

How old?

[Tom Papa]

He didn't know. 21.

[Ryan Sickler]

21.

[Tom Papa]

Married, girlfriend, wife, pregnant. And he just. In the middle of the night, got up, didn't feel right, couldn't hear, and went to the hospital. And it was the same thing. Like, I had a girlfriend's father who passed and from a stroke after a heart surgery. And it's so funny, once those terms hit you, you're just. You're stroke. What's not moving. Brain is swelling. Can you stop it before it. All those indicators. Same story as my friend who lost her father, my girlfriend who lost her father. And then by the next day, he was gone.

[Ryan Sickler]

And how long. Do you remember how long you're sitting there and waiting before you decide, like, something's wrong or they're not coming at the restaurant. Yeah. And how long?

[Tom Papa]

Like an hour.

[Ryan Sickler]

Really? And when do you find out? You leave. And then we leave.

[Tom Papa]

You got to go home to call. To call from the phone that's connected to the wall. And that's when you find out there's no text. There's no almost there. Hey, we're not coming. Like, you know, last thing they happened over the night. Last thing on his wife's mind was lunch plans. It was, let's try and keep Dave alive. And it went quick. It went really quick. Yeah. Terrible. And there's so many, like, even just telling you, like I always say, like, all my best friends. But the similarities with Dave and Keith were very. It's pretty profound. It really is pretty. And maybe it was, you know, like, sometimes you lose, like, I know people who've lost their father when they were young, and you kind of gravitate towards older men, like, to have conversations and stuff. So maybe I was. Had an affection for Lil. Dave because of Keith in a way.

[Ryan Sickler]

You know, and these are the first two significant deaths in your life, and they happen to be back to back and young.

[Tom Papa]

We also had this weird thing in our high school where we lost a lot of kids in our class from what? Drowning, Suicide.

[Ryan Sickler]

Wow.

[Tom Papa]

Car accident. It was like it became a thing, like, where all of us were like, you know, what's going. Like, it was too much. My daughter actually had it with her class. And it's so funny because you. They lost kids, like, through different accidents and whatever, and they were like, are we cursed? And all that. And I could tell her I went through the same thing. With my class. And it. It doesn't register when you're a young person.

[Ryan Sickler]

No, it doesn't.

[Tom Papa]

Like, I know exactly where she's at. I know exactly where. What they're dealing with. But when you're young, it's just like, you don't get it.

[Ryan Sickler]

I'll never forget a teacher told us one time, this is ninth grade. He introduced himself, and then he talked to us, and he was like, listen, I'm gonna tell you right now. I've been teaching a long time. I don't know why he ever said this. And he's like, look around, because I promise you, by the time you graduate, not everyone's going to be here. I'm like, jesus Christ, bro. Like, what a way to start school.

[Tom Papa]

And first day, the first death.

[Ryan Sickler]

I mean, my dad died when I was 16, so I dealt with it early.

[Tom Papa]

But prior to that, it's a big one.

[Ryan Sickler]

My great grandmom had died, and they lived in Tyrone, Pennsylvania. And I'm a kid. I'm probably first, second grade. And I remember them taking us there. And my grandmom is. Great grandmom. Excuse me. Is laid out in the parlor like the old days where they. I'm like this, you know, I'm thinking like, this dead body's in the house.

[Tom Papa]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

I remember going over and being too scared to touch or doing one of these, you know.

[Tom Papa]

This is before your dad.

[Ryan Sickler]

I'm little, you know, like, elementary school. And then before my dad, also ninth grade, we have a kid. I'm gonna say his name because he was such a good kid. His name was Jason Shiflett. It's a great kid. Tennis player. Like, just one of those good students. Everyone loved them. Guys, girls, teachers. One of those kids.

[Tom Papa]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

And I don't know what happened, so I don't want to speak in detail, but one night, the story is that, you know, he lived in a little neighborhood and an older kid who had his license. We're in ninth grade, so maybe a 10th or 11th grader is driving down the street. And I don't know if he tried to, like. Like, just sort of scare him a little bit or what, but the kid accidentally hit him with his car.

[Tom Papa]

Oh.

[Ryan Sickler]

And it was right in front of his house, and it killed the poor kid. And I'll never forget people telling us that, because it's sort of a crime scene in a way, where the kid got hit. They fucking put, like, fluorescent orange dashes for how far he had flown, and then an X where he hit. And this is in front of their home. So some neighbor went out and painted over that right away. Like your crime scene accident. Like, these poor people. Yeah. And I just remember being like, whoa. And this is probably your Keith, you know, like, or. Or excuse me, who was first? It was Keith.

[Tom Papa]

Keith. Yeah. Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

And I just. It had such an impact because this is like, you know, whoa. One of our classmates is gone and we're all going to this funeral. What the is this? And, and then my friend's sister Kelly, the one I was telling you about, she passed away and I'm super. Her mom was like, my mom. And I'm watching these parents, like, bury a child and like, oh, and they've got their son. They have to worry about who still. We're still best friends. And like, it's just, it's. It's brutal.

[Tom Papa]

It's a huge cascading tsunami avalanche of emotion and information.

[Ryan Sickler]

And it happens too. My buddy said to his son, this was just like last year or something. He said, it's senior week. Or he said, I'm telling you right now, it's very close to graduation. And he goes, there's going to be a bunch of parties. There's going to be a senior weeks or whatever you're going to do. And I'm telling you, if you're not careful, one of these kids isn't making it to graduation. There's always one that doesn't make it to graduation. And then one of their friends crashed his car drunk or whatever and died.

[Tom Papa]

Oh, man.

[Ryan Sickler]

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[Tom Papa]

It's brutal how many friends you have that have died? Just three.

[Ryan Sickler]

Just.

[Tom Papa]

Well, and then there's like, you know, there was another good friend of ours right when we got out from high school who. Who was very tight in our high school group, but, you know, he wasn't like my best bestie guy. But there was, you know, after those first ones and your dad at 16, it's like, you know, there is perspective and it's. But it's weird. Like, you don't learn. Like, I. You know, in the interim, there was grandparents and there was a beloved aunt and other people, like, in family and stuff who die and.

[Ryan Sickler]

And no disrespect, those are expected.

[Tom Papa]

They're expected. It's a very different thing. Very. It's very different thing.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah.

[Tom Papa]

And, yeah, there's so much hope and stuff when they're young.

[Ryan Sickler]

When you're. You're young also, you feel invincible, right?

[Tom Papa]

Exactly.

[Ryan Sickler]

You know, you'll do the dumb shit, whatever it is, but now one of us is gone, guess what? We're not invincible. And it, man, it breaks that barrier immediately.

[Tom Papa]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, holy shit. We could die at any moment.

[Tom Papa]

Exactly. Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

You're.

[Tom Papa]

All of a sudden. It's all very, very real. But there is that thing, too, that you don't know which deaths are going to hit you. Like, there have been ones where I would expect that one wasn't going to hit me that hard. And it does. And I think a lot has to do with. Especially when it's expected. Not with these tragedies of young people, but, you know, older people and people our age when you're expected to die. And. But a lot of it has to do with you, where you're at at that moment, what you're going through, what your life is, how you feel. And then, like, surprises of how attached you were to them. All of a sudden, this one, like, random one who you think wouldn't get you all of a sudden can take your knees out. It just kind of is the condition and part of the journey, I think.

[Ryan Sickler]

Can I share one with you that you just made me think of?

[Tom Papa]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

I don't even know this girl, but I had a roommate. God. This was back in Sherman Oaks, I mean, early 2000s, and he had a friend that was Just passing through town on his way to Mexico. And he was like, hey, do you mind if my buddy and his girlfriend just stay the night, they're going their way to Mexico. And I was like, yeah, I don't care. And I just remember this girl. It's just so cliche. Just I met her, she was young, 20, maybe 21, bright, light blonde hair, pretty smile. Just a very infectious spirit. And they spent the one night and then the next day they went to Mexico. And according to her family, when they were in Mexico, I guess there's this whole scam where they'll run you off the road and then you crash and they come and they rob your car and. And their friends were following behind them. They witness someone cross the center line. They go off the edge, roll, roll, roll. And they're dying in the car. Their friends are watching this. They. They watch the people run down the hill. They don't help them, they don't call anyone. They take wallets, whatever, jewelry. And this girl dies. I met her for, I mean, maybe three, four hours. We probably talk. And I have never forgotten that it bothered me so much to think like, this is every parent's nightmare. She just got there. She just got there within days. That's every parent's nightmare. Like, you go there and I mean, then it becomes this whole thing that, you know, we're learning, like, well, you can't just get a body back from Mexico. You got to go through all these steps to do this and that. And man. And I have never. I don't know why. I don't even know who. I can't tell you her name. I just remember this really nice spirit floated in one day.

[Tom Papa]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

And then the next day being told, hey, that girl you met last night, dead. And I was like, wow. Just wow.

[Tom Papa]

It's tragic. It's like those. Those stories that, you know, they don't make sense. Yeah, they don't make sense. So you keep playing it over and over and over and over and over because it. You're trying to make sense of this thing and it's senseless.

[Ryan Sickler]

Who is your third friend?

[Tom Papa]

The third one you knew?

[Ryan Sickler]

I did.

[Tom Papa]

Greg Giraldo.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, yeah. I didn't know you guys were tight like that. I worked with him for a weekend.

[Tom Papa]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Embraer. And yeah, I loved him. I had already known who he was before. And I was like, oh, I get the feature for Greg Gerald. This is great. I mean, so smart, so fucking funny.

[Tom Papa]

Yeah. You know, he was the first comedian I ever met.

[Ryan Sickler]

Is that right?

[Tom Papa]

The first time I ever did stand up.

[Ryan Sickler]

Was he out of New York?

[Tom Papa]

New Jersey?

[Ryan Sickler]

New York, yeah.

[Tom Papa]

It was at the New York Comedy Club on June 12, 1993. And I walked in and Gary Greenberg was on stage hosting. And Greg Giraldo was a young, clean shaven, young pup waiting to go on, sweating, nervous, and me. And the only people in the audience were my six friends that I brought from New Jersey. Five in the afternoon in the summer show.

[Ryan Sickler]

Huh?

[Tom Papa]

It was still sunny out. Yeah, that's the worst completely thing. But we just hit it off immediately. And he was just so great. And, you know, those first days of comedy, you're like, that's like a new brother. Like, it's you. You're going to make this ride together. And started doing shows with Gaffigan and Greg and Sandy Marks and some other people in the bottoms of these restaurants and. And doing all this stuff. And I was still living in Jersey, and it was Greg who. Then I took a pause because I needed to make some money. And he called me every day telling me, you got to come back. You got to come back. He did every day. And I came back and lived in the city and was with Greg. And it was. We had motorcycles at the same time in New York. We used to drive.

[Ryan Sickler]

That was probably fun.

[Tom Papa]

We used to go from the Comic Strip to the Comedy Cell. It was like a. Just a horrible ride. It was too far to walk to the train. We were too poor to take a cab. So you just had to, like, get with your friends or do it or have a motorcycle.

[Ryan Sickler]

What'd you have, by the way?

[Tom Papa]

I had a Yamaha Virago.

[Ryan Sickler]

Okay.

[Tom Papa]

And so it was a very. I felt very cool. Cause I'm, you know, I'm the same as I am now. Greg was cool. He had long hair and beard and tag. It's like he had a bike. I had a motorcycle. But it was so cool to, like, come down to the Cellar. We both got passed at the Cellar. Like, he was there before me. But then I got. But anyway, just to pull in, like, from the Comic Strip. You do your set, get your helmet on, cruise down for free, back to the Cellar. There would be Greg's bike sitting outside the pizza place, knowing that he was on stage. Then I park my bike and go. And it was all. It all felt very, very cool and fun. And he was. Yeah, he was the best. And his family and his wife and they were all, you know, super tight. There was my comedy best friend, you know, as an adult. And then we know he. He passed in In New Jersey from. He was clean and he was clean and sober. He struggled, like, he got in with some stuff and then he was clean and sober. He was kind of like, in such a really good space. He had a boat and he had his three boys and. He had three boys. Did he? Yeah, and, yeah, I just talked to his son yesterday, and his oldest one is Gregory, and he's getting into comedy.

[Ryan Sickler]

How old is he?

[Tom Papa]

Yeah, he's like.

[Ryan Sickler]

Does he look like.

[Tom Papa]

A little bit? Yeah, Yeah, a little bit. He has the. He's got the brain. Smart. Yeah. Yeah. But he was doing really well. And the problem with being like the cool guys is that the cool, douchey people who partied with you last time you were through town, they're excited that you're coming back to town, and that's what happened. He was at a club in New Jersey and this couple who he had partied with before came and they had. They had drugs. They had opioids and coke and partied with them. And, you know, the problem with opioids is you get high and then you try and come down on this stuff and you can completely, you know, go under. And they. Yeah, he was in a hotel room and alone and.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh, so they left.

[Tom Papa]

Yeah. Yeah. I don't know if they were there and left or gave it to him and never went with him. I don't know what the ugly details are, but.

[Ryan Sickler]

Does anyone know that?

[Tom Papa]

I think so.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah.

[Tom Papa]

I think so.

[Ryan Sickler]

When do you find out?

[Tom Papa]

I've. That day. I'm in New York and I'm in New York. It's like 2010, 2011, and I'm working on a TV show and we get word and so I got in a.

[Ryan Sickler]

Car and do you remember who told.

[Tom Papa]

It was, you know, by the stress factor. He was playing. The stress factor. You ever play there?

[Ryan Sickler]

No, I haven't.

[Tom Papa]

Never in New Brunswick.

[Ryan Sickler]

I know where it is. Yeah, in Jersey there.

[Tom Papa]

And, you know, it was like a road gig for. It was. It was a road gig close to home. You know, it's. Chris Rock always says, don't. Don't take the hotel on a. On a. On a local gig. What are you doing? Go home.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah, I've never done that either. I've never even asked for one.

[Tom Papa]

You know, it's an hour and 10 minutes. Just go home. You don't need the hotel.

[Ryan Sickler]

It's better over here.

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[Tom Papa]

For example, Olivia's after learning she has quite a lot in common with a 9th century Viking is different to Luna's.

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[Tom Papa]

Which is also different to Jerome's. His eureka moment on finding the perfect.

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New quote for his dating profile from.

[Tom Papa]

To to Amazon Books that reading. Feeling awake. But yeah, so then raced over to the, raced over to the hospital and you know, on life support and same scenario.

[Ryan Sickler]

And here comes all the old.

[Tom Papa]

All the old terms, familiar terms that.

[Ryan Sickler]

Fucking trigger everything you hear.

[Tom Papa]

Yeah, exactly. Exactly. So, yeah, so that one was brutal too. The good news is I don't have a best friend right now.

[Ryan Sickler]

I hope you're not shopping for one either.

[Tom Papa]

I'm not.

[Ryan Sickler]

Not if you get one. You gotta give him a heads up. Like, listen, just want to give you a warning, bro.

[Tom Papa]

No, my wife asked me a little while ago, like, so who's your best friend? I'm like, no, I got a lot of friends.

[Ryan Sickler]

Let's not put anybody at the top.

[Tom Papa]

No one's the best. And I'm not even going to put you as, you know, people do, like, well, my wife is my best friend, or my dad is my best. No, I have a lot of friends.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah.

[Tom Papa]

And I have a wife and I have a mom and dad and kids and all that stuff. But.

[Ryan Sickler]

How old are your kids now?

[Tom Papa]

22 and 19 now.

[Ryan Sickler]

Did they. You said that. You know what they're talking about. They're dealing with that sort of. There's a lot of young kids in their life passing away from school and.

[Tom Papa]

Stuff when they were in high school.

[Ryan Sickler]

Is this because of the. But these days, you got fentanyl out there, which is a whole different fucking thing. And school shootings. I don't want to forget about that. Wow.

[Tom Papa]

Jesus Christ. Throw in global warming. And then I just heard the donkeys kill more people than shark attacks and plane crashes.

[Ryan Sickler]

Donkeys. Donkey thought hippos were the thing to worry about. It's donkeys that. Say it again. Kill more people than what?

[Tom Papa]

Then? Plane crashes or what? Or shark attacks. Donkeys. That asshole. I'm gonna look that shit up. That asshole at the end of the farmers market who looks like God turned them off, but Princess doesn't. He's just waiting to kill. Like, as if you didn't have enough to worry about.

[Ryan Sickler]

That's an interesting statistic. People get behind them too much and it's hard for something, and boom.

[Tom Papa]

Yeah. Or maybe they eat us like lions. I don't know.

[Ryan Sickler]

Hilarious.

[Tom Papa]

But I. Yeah, but, you know, you could worry about all of it or you could worry about none of it, you know?

[Ryan Sickler]

So how do you. What do you. What do you tell them and share with them to help them through something like that? Have you gone to a funeral for a child from your kids? No.

[Tom Papa]

No. No.

[Ryan Sickler]

But your parents came with you. I bet you ever talked to your parents about that, what it was like to go see Keith or any of these people at a funeral?

[Tom Papa]

No, I never talked to them about. I remember watching, like, when I said, like, when I was observing everything. I remember watching. Watching my father at the wake. I always remember that part because he was, you know, he was like his son, too. So he was very chatty. He was. He was trying to talk. He was trying to not cry and get through the line, keep it busy. But talking. And I was like, no, not now. And he was like. But wanted to, like. And I was just, you know, even at that age, I was like, he's just dealing with it his way. But it was making me very uncomfortable. And. And, yeah, he, you know, watching that, watching the rock in your life break down was, you know, that's impossible. But, no, I never talk about with them, but they know, like, that. It was like, you know, it's still with me now.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah.

[Tom Papa]

You know, it's like, do your kids.

[Ryan Sickler]

Know about what you've done with Keith and his memory?

[Tom Papa]

Yes. I don't think they've read. I don't think they've read the essay in the book or Little Dave get a shout out.

[Ryan Sickler]

All right. Little Dave made it. All right.

[Tom Papa]

Little Dave was in book three.

[Ryan Sickler]

He got there, though. He's in the trilogy. Yeah.

[Tom Papa]

It's funny because I'm slow into my fourth book. I'm like, what's it going to be? What's it going to be? And it's like, I don't have anyone to shout out. I guess I could put Geraldo in it.

[Ryan Sickler]

You haven't yet?

[Tom Papa]

No.

[Ryan Sickler]

That's the guy.

[Tom Papa]

Yeah. Maybe it's weird because everyone. Not everyone, but a lot of people know him. You know what I mean? So I keep that one a little more private, you know what I mean? Even, like, when there was, like, other comics, like, commenting on them and stuff, it was kind of similar to the thing when I was saying in the beginning of, like, watching, as a young kid, watching people just come to the funeral because it was a cool thing to do in high school. You know, they didn't. Weren't really friends with them and pretending to be so sad and. And learning what that thing was, you know, that kind of thing. It repeats itself all the time. You know, people show up at wakes. I'm sure there's, like, some aunts, like, she was never friends with him or he. I'm sure it always kind of happens that way. But with Greg, it was a lot of that, too, because it was like I knew all of his closest friends in comedy, and some were, like, on shows and, like, really talking about the great Greg. And I was like, dude, I know what your relationship was with him, you know, So I tend to keep that one a little bit more private because it, you know, he's public.

[Ryan Sickler]

Did I ask you this? We'll wrap up here. Did he have a good balance of, like, people from childhood and his youth that showed up like good people he was still connected with?

[Tom Papa]

Yeah, Greg.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah. I say that because I remember when Brody passed, I went to his thing at the Comedy Store, and, you know, his name was Stephen Brody Stevens.

[Tom Papa]

Right.

[Ryan Sickler]

And they brought up his little league coach, and all these kids that had grown up with him first and they all knew him and referred to him as Stephen. And then, you know, it hits me too. Like, oh, yeah. All of us that know each other met each other later in life, even though we're this sort of whatever fraternity or we met each other later in life, you forget that these people have passed 20 years and they're brothers with them and they know them better than you do. And it just was really nice to see. Not that we're not normal people. We're not. But you know what I mean. Friends and family from years gone by say, hey, no, I knew him when he was 10 and this is what he was like.

[Tom Papa]

I like that. Yeah. It's a mystery of life in a way that everybody is really their own thing. Everybody's their own on their own little journey. And as close as you are to, you know, your spouse or your kids, they're really, you really don't know all about them. You really don't. I remember watching that with my grandmother when she passed one of my grandmothers and it was like we knew her as, you know, we knew her as Nana and she did this with us and we knew about her sisters and brothers and some of those peripheral family members. But then I remember watching like this group is from the library where she is a volunteer. That one's from her card group that she plays with. She was, she bowled. When did she bowl? Who are these eight people there? Why are all these priests in love with her? And like, you know, everybody has their own full bag of adventures that nobody else knows about. As close as you get and as much as you download everything to your. At the end of the day, it's too much. There's too much going on to really plug someone in, especially when they're doing the same thing and they can only retain that much. It's. Yeah, it's pretty interesting.

[Ryan Sickler]

Well, now I'm interested in what you're gonna say to this question, but advice you would give to 16 year old Tom Poppa. Now, after what we've taught about.

[Tom Papa]

The advice I would give to 16 year old me would be, you're in it. It's not coming. You're not going to get there. You're in it. I know you see like bigger people around doing stuff. No, you're doing it. You're in it. This is, this is prime time. Don't wait, don't be patient, do whatever you want to do and do it now because it's all very fleeting and there are People that find their vocation at 6 in centuries before people had whole careers by 16. And I know the culture puts off growing up and stuff, but I would say yes to 16 year old version. No, you're in it now. Get, get to work.

[Ryan Sickler]

That's great.

[Tom Papa]

Yeah.

[Ryan Sickler]

Hey, thank you very much. I know this was a heavy topic. Thank you for sharing this.

[Tom Papa]

It's all right. I've talked about it a lot.

[Ryan Sickler]

Good.

[Tom Papa]

Not on podcast though.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah.

[Tom Papa]

So you're exclusive, but thank you. But. But yeah, it's a fun. It's fun to talk about it. I mean, it's not fun, but yeah, I get it. It's rich.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah, it's rich.

[Tom Papa]

Well, you know, you may have asked about it.

[Ryan Sickler]

Please promote everything again you'd like.

[Tom Papa]

Just go watch Home Free on Netflix and then I've got two or three other specials on there as well. Digest them all or go get the books. That'd be a good thing. Some of the stuff we were talking about, you can read those also or listen to them or just put them on your shelves and pretend that you read them.

[Ryan Sickler]

Thank you, Tom Papa, you're the best. Thank you very much. All right, as always, Ryan Sickler on all your social media. Come see me on the road if I'm in your town when you're around. Tickets are on my my [e-mail] we'll talk to you all next week.

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