I Warn You Three Times by The CBS Radio Mystery Theater

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Horror! (Old Time Radio)

Episode: I Warn You Three Times (CBS Radio Mystery Theater)

Aired: May 16, 2026
Presented by: RelicRadio.com

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Episode Overview

In this atmospheric early episode from CBS Radio Mystery Theater, “I Warn You Three Times,” listeners are plunged into a chilling tale of paranoia, marital discord, and supernatural uncertainty. Framed as a classic supernatural mystery, the story follows reporter Fred Peterson as he unravels the disturbing case of Hetty and Tom Parsons—a couple whose supposed harmonious marriage shatters when Tom suddenly disappears in a snowstorm, only to resurface with the explosive accusation that his wife is, in fact, a witch. The narrative masterfully blurs the lines between psychological suspense and the supernatural, leaving the listener questioning what is real and what is imagined.

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Key Discussion Points & Plot Breakdown

Introduction – Welcome to Terror

• Host Framing (00:06–03:00):
  RelicRadio’s host sets the mood for a night of fear and unresolved mysteries, introducing CBS Radio Mystery Theater and its long legacy of suspenseful storytelling.
• E.G. Marshall’s Preface (04:00):
  “What do you think about witches? Not the bony hags... but witches who are young... beautiful witches who even fall in love.”

Act 1: Disappearance in the Snow

• Inciting Mystery (05:27–07:15):

  • Hetty Parsons is stranded in her car during a storm because her husband, Tom, stepped out to clean the rear window—and simply vanished.
  • Police are skeptical and confused; there are no clues, no witnesses, and Hetty reveals she cannot drive.
  • Notable Quote [06:35]:
    Hetty: “He disappeared.”
    Officer: “I do know he ain’t here.”

• Police Precinct: Hetty’s Desperation (07:15–14:45):

  • Reporter Fred Peterson interviews Hetty. She insists she and Tom are genuinely happy and denies any reason for him to leave.
  • Hetty’s Faith vs. Police Cynicism:
    Hetty holds onto hope and love, clashing with the cynical worldview of the police and Fred.
  • Notable Quote [14:40]:
    Fred: “What a wonderful world you live in, Mrs. Parsons. I hope you can stay there always.”

Act 2: Reality Unravels

• Tom Reappears—Contradictory Realities (15:47–17:14):

  • Abruptly, Tom returns, claiming he never left home that night and wasn't in the car at all.
  • A heated disagreement between Hetty and Tom about what truly happened. Each insists on their version of reality.
  • Notable Quote [17:18]:
    Tom: “Hetty, darling, I was not in the car with you. I was home.”
  • Fred realizes the couple’s “perfect union” is more complex than it seemed.

• Tensions Escalate: Warnings and Paranoia (19:38–21:29):

  • Fred tries to help Hetty, who cryptically warns him that it’s “too dangerous” to get involved.
  • Notable Exchanges:
    Hetty: “I can only warn you three times.” (20:53)
    Fred: “You mean you keep score?”
    Hetty: “I warn you for the third time: forget all about tonight for your own sake…”

Act 3: The Witch Accusation

• The Truth—Or Is It? (28:48–30:23):

  • Tom confides to Fred: “Hetty isn’t a human being at all. She’s a witch.”
    He believes Hetty destroys the men she loves, referencing Hetty’s previous husband’s “accident.”
  • Tom claims he’s warning Fred just as the last husband tried to warn him.

• Investigation of Hetty’s Past (32:00–36:12):

  • Fred confronts Hetty about Tom’s claims. She responds that Tom is struggling with guilt and paranoia over her first husband’s death, which she insists was self-defense.
  • Hetty’s backstory becomes increasingly vague and untraceable.

Climactic Confrontation

• Deadly Showdown (40:22–43:25):
  • Hetty calls Fred in terror, revealing Tom has bought a revolver and fears for her life.
  • When confronted, Tom attempts to shoot Hetty, but chaos ensues, and he ends up dead.
  • Notable Quote [42:18]:
    Hetty: “Drop it. Drop it. You did it again, Hetty. Did it again.”
  • Tom’s final breath: “She’ll kill you, too... she is Paradise, but it doesn’t last…”

Conclusion: Unanswered Questions and Final Warnings

• Hetty’s Mystery Deepens (44:10–44:33):
  • Police cannot trace Hetty’s origins—her records are missing or fictitious.
  • Notable Quote [44:33]:
    Hetty: “I warned you three times, Fred. I warned you three times.”
• Eerie Coda from the Host (45:00):
  • E.G. Marshall urges listeners to heed warnings, especially from mysterious women with “honey blonde hair.”

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Cynicism vs. Faith (14:40):
  Fred: “What a wonderful world you live in, Mrs. Parsons. I hope you can stay there always.”

• On the Mystery of Disappearance (17:18):
  Tom: “Hetty, darling, I was not in the car with you. I was home.”

• First Warning (20:53):
  Hetty: “I can only warn you three times.”

• Confession—The Witch Accusation (28:48):
  Tom: “She isn’t a human being at all. She’s a witch.”

• Fred’s Realization (21:06):
  Fred: “You keep saying the wrong word. Or I should say the wrong name. The wrong name is Fred. You can't call me Fred and expect me to forget everything.”

• Tom’s Final Words (43:06):
  Tom: “She is. She is. But it doesn’t last... and then she’ll kill you.”

• Final Warning (44:33):
  Hetty: “I warned you three times, Fred. I warned you three times.”

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Key Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:06: Moody opening; introduction to the show and its horror themes
• 05:27: Disappearance incident at the intersection
• 07:15: Police station; Hetty recounts her story
• 14:45: Hetty and Fred debate cynicism; Hetty’s faith
• 15:47: Tom reappears, sparking contradictory realities
• 20:53: The first of three warnings issued by Hetty
• 28:48: Tom accuses Hetty of being a witch
• 32:00: Fred investigates inconsistencies in Hetty’s past
• 40:22: Hetty’s fearful phone call; the revolver is revealed
• 43:06: Tom’s dying warning to Fred
• 44:33: Hetty’s ominous final warning
• 45:00: Host’s moral—heed all warnings, especially from enigmatic women

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Tone & Language

The episode maintains a tense, foreboding tone throughout. Dialogue is sharp and laced with suspicion, paranoia, and lingering affection. E.G. Marshall’s narration is grave and conspiratorial. Both Fred and Hetty oscillate between vulnerability and guardedness, while Tom’s desperation and certainty lend a fevered edge to the supernatural accusations.

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Summary

“I Warn You Three Times” is a quintessential CBS Radio Mystery Theater episode, blending marital psychodrama, noir investigation, and chilling hints of the occult. At its core, it explores themes of trust, the slipperiness of memory, the dangers of love, and the power of belief in evil—whether supernatural or mundane. The three warnings motif builds a palpable sense of dread as Fred, drawn by compassion and attraction, ignores Hetty’s advice to “forget everything” until it may already be too late.

Listeners are left unsettled: was Hetty a victim or a supernatural predator? Was Tom delusional or actually doomed by forces beyond reason? And will Fred become the next target? The story closes with the host’s wry caution—if a “damsel in distress” warns you three times, you best take her seriously.

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For more classic mysteries, visit RelicRadio.com. And remember—sometimes a warning is worth heeding, especially when it comes in threes.

Transcript

[Fred Peterson]

Oh, stories, real stories. And murders do

[Hetty Parsons]

turn out your legs.

[Fred Peterson]

Turn them out. Good evening. Come in, won't you? What's the matter? Surely you're not nervous. For example, car, I think restored. We are meant to call from out of the past. Stories, strange and weird. Tales of mystery and terror by radio's masters of the maa. Stories of a supernatural the supernova dramatized the mysteries the unknown. We tell you this. Frank. Frank. So if you wish to avoid the excitement tension of these magic play ladies, we urge you our latest seriously to turn off your way down. Welcome back to the Horror. Back this Saturday with a story from the CBS Radio Mystery Theater. A series that debuted in 1974, aired until 1982 and produced 1399 original stories. The one we'll hear today is episode seven one of the early ones. From January 12, 1974, here's I warn you three times. The CBS Radio Mystery Theater presents. Come in. Welcome. I am E. G. Marshall. Welcome to the sound of suspense. To the fear you can hear. What do you think about witches? Not the bony hags and atrocious crones of Shakespeare and legend or the poor unfortunates of Salem, but witches who are young witches. What beautiful witches who even fall in love. Excuse me. Who let you in here? Well, I hope I'm not disturbing you. I'm only trying to make a deadline. Well, if you're in the news business, I've got something for you. It better be good. I. I'm going to have to kill my wife. That won't be news till you do it. I know. I want you to know why. Okay. Why? Because she's a witch. Our mystery drama, I Warn you Three Times, was written especially for the Mystery Theater by Sam Dan and stars Joan Loring. It is sponsored in part by Anheuser Busch Incorporated, brewers of Budweiser. I'll be back shortly. I'm High Brown, producer of Radio Mystery Theater. Before we begin our story, a word. This enterprise is new in modern network radio, but for many who grew up with radio drama, it's the return of a special kind of magic. A vast and magic theater where nothing is impossible. Where the listener's imagination is the real star. And now that we're on, we'd like to hear from you. So much so that if you send us your name and address, you're eligible for one of 50 prizes each week for three weeks. 2am FM stereo phonos, two travel clock radios and 46 anthologies of modern suspense. We'd like hearing how you feel about radio drama, but all you need do is send us your name and address to Mystery Theater, Box 50, Radio City Station, New York 119. That's Box 50, Radio City Station, NY 119. Offer good everywhere unless locally prohibited. It's one of those miserable, stormy nights in the dead of winter. A thick, clinging, wet snow seems determined to smother the ent earth and everyone on it. You'd think that most people would choose the cheerful indoors. A warming fire, a relaxing drink, a comfortable bed. That's the problem with most people. You can't figure them. For instance, consider that line of cars crawling down Main street bumper to bumper, skidding, sliding. Where is everybody headed on a night like this? Have we become a race of lemmings? Do we follow some mysterious unconscious drive? An interesting speculation, but we won't pursue it. We'd better consider the traffic which has come to a complete standstill. A car seems to be stuck at the intersection. Let's go, sister. That light screen.

[Hetty Parsons]

Oh, officer.

[Fred Peterson]

Well, what are you waiting for, lady?

[Hetty Parsons]

My. My husband.

[Fred Peterson]

Your husband?

[Hetty Parsons]

That the light red. And he said he wanted to step out and clean off the rear window.

[Fred Peterson]

Hey, mister, you finished back there?

[Hetty Parsons]

He just stepped out. It was a moment ago, Tom.

[Fred Peterson]

Maybe he slipped in the snow.

[Hetty Parsons]

Tom, are you all right?

[Fred Peterson]

Lady, there ain't nobody around the bank.

[Hetty Parsons]

But he just went out.

[Fred Peterson]

Yeah, yeah, to clean the rear window. That's what you said.

[Hetty Parsons]

But what could have happened?

[Fred Peterson]

Just sit there. A mad lady. Hey, lay off of that horn. I know you got one. What's wrong, officer? Did you see a guy get out of that car? Up. Did I see a guy? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you on the police after someone? An escape car? Come on, buster, just tell me. Did you see a guy cleaning off the rear window of that car up front? Tell you the truth, I wasn't paying any attention. I was listening to the radio. Now, there could have been somebody, but then again, I. I couldn't say there was. It's not that I'm not trying to get involved. I'm a citizen. I know my duty, but. Yeah, yeah. Well, thank you. Thank you.

[Hetty Parsons]

Where is my husband? He was just there, lady.

[Fred Peterson]

He disappeared.

[Hetty Parsons]

How could he disappear?

[Fred Peterson]

I don't know. I do know he ain't here.

[Hetty Parsons]

What am I going to do?

[Fred Peterson]

Well, you can't keep blocking traffic, lady. You gotta move on.

[Hetty Parsons]

Where? I.

[Fred Peterson]

Beats me.

[Hetty Parsons]

But you must find him.

[Fred Peterson]

Look, you got troubles with your husband, that's your problem. But when you hold up traffic, that's my problem. Will you feed her a little gas, please? Come On. Let's go.

[Hetty Parsons]

But I can.

[Fred Peterson]

Lady, you gotta go somewhere.

[Hetty Parsons]

I can't go anywhere. I don't know how to drive.

[Fred Peterson]

Desk. Lieutenant. Carol. Yeah. Nobody wants this guy, you say? Well, technically that isn't true. His wife wants him. Okay. Well, look who's here. Dad. You won't win the Pulitzer Prizes around this joint tonight, Peterson. I was hoping you might have a little bone to throw me. Page one. I'll settle for two inches on the bottom of page 38. If you promise to remember two R's and one L. First name Irvin, not Irving. Lieutenant Irvin Carroll. We may have something shaping up. Ah, I don't know where it can go. Everywhere or nowhere. What have I got to lose sitting over there on the first bench. That's nice and married. You win, you lose a very, very weird story. Tell me about it. No, let her tell you about it. Why don't you ask? Excuse me. My name is Fred Peterson. I'm a reporter for the Union Messenger.

[Hetty Parsons]

Oh, no. I don't want to talk to a reporter.

[Fred Peterson]

Why not?

[Hetty Parsons]

Because.

[Fred Peterson]

Because you're afraid. Why?

[Hetty Parsons]

Could you put Tom's picture in the paper?

[Fred Peterson]

Well, that depends. Has Tom done anything?

[Hetty Parsons]

He's disappeared.

[Fred Peterson]

Well, we'd need the how, the when, the where.

[Hetty Parsons]

The when. About an hour ago. Where? On Route 986 at Main Street. How? I don't know. You see, we were driving south, it was snowing hard and he said, I can't see out the rear window. The light was ready. Stepped outside to wipe it off. He didn't come back.

[Fred Peterson]

Where did he go?

[Hetty Parsons]

I don't know.

[Fred Peterson]

Well, where could he go?

[Hetty Parsons]

I don't know.

[Fred Peterson]

And that's snow. And. And there's nothing around there. Could you give me a wife?

[Hetty Parsons]

I. I can't imagine. I don't know what to do. I sit here waiting. Look, my name is Hetty Parsons. Tom and I, we've been married five years. We don't have any problems. I mean, we're very happy. If you print his picture in the story, maybe someone will see it who can help us.

[Fred Peterson]

Excuse me a minute. Well, yeah, I think I'll run with it. I don't blame you. I was always partial to girls with honey colored hair and baby blue eyes. Ah, so you notice, too. Have you run a check on her husband, Tom Parsons? Well, he's not one of the known bad boys. No record at all. And what did she say he did? He's an accountant. He has his own business in the Barstow building. Looked him up in the phone book. Checks out. They were headed south, huh? That's what she says. If it was a trip, there should have been bags. There were his and hers. His and hers? How does it look? What do you want from me? I don't solve crimes. I sit here behind the desk. My lieutenant. This is one for you, Fred. How could a guy disappear just like that in that storm? There's no place to go. He could have had a car following in back of them. A friend was driving it. Maybe. Well, he had to go somewhere. But why? Right now, we're treating it as missing persons. That's all we can do. He's not wanted for anything. He's a legitimate citizen. As far as we know, he hasn't even done anything to her. At worst, he left her in a car. He hasn't even deserted her yet. Who is driving? He was. She can't. Well, that's abandoning her, isn't it? No. At best, we'd have him for abandoning the car. Yeah. Yeah. Excuse me a minute. Listen, Mrs. Parsons.

[Hetty Parsons]

Yes?

[Fred Peterson]

Why. Why don't you go home? I've got my car outside.

[Hetty Parsons]

Oh, no. No, I. I want to be here in case they find time.

[Fred Peterson]

They'll let you know if they find.

[Hetty Parsons]

No, I don't want to be home alone tonight. I. I just want to stay here.

[Fred Peterson]

But it may be hours. It may be even days.

[Hetty Parsons]

Don't say that.

[Fred Peterson]

Sorry.

[Hetty Parsons]

I. I'm just so jumpy, so nervous. I can't believe what's happened to me.

[Fred Peterson]

Well, if you're gonna sit here, you should have some coffee and a sandwich.

[Hetty Parsons]

Oh, I couldn't think of food.

[Fred Peterson]

I. Hey there, Officer Dennis. Well, look who's here. The friendly reporter. Yeah. Listen, that girl. Yeah, I was gonna ask what girl, but I won't. Yeah, I. I want to start at the beginning. Oh, well, you know, Lieutenant Carol's got two R's, but Patrolman Dennett's got two. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What did happen? Like she said, he went out to clean the rear window, he was gone. Anybody see him? I checked the car in back, but who looks? Who notices? Where could he have gone to around here? Well, on the south side, you got open fields on this side, a couple of warehouse buildings locked up. Night watchman? Yeah, he's a retired cop. No sign of anybody trying to break in to hide or whatever he may have wanted to do. Okay, so what could have happened to the guy? It's all very interesting, but in 15 minutes, I go off duty and I won't have to worry about it.

[Hetty Parsons]

Oh, thanks. I didn't think I could touch a thing. But I must have been starving. Has there been any worse?

[Fred Peterson]

Yeah. You'll hear the minute they know. Now, listen, Hetty, I can help you, but you have to help me.

[Hetty Parsons]

I'll do whatever I can.

[Fred Peterson]

We have two basic roads to explore. One, somebody was out to get your husband.

[Hetty Parsons]

Oh, no, no. Tom is the mildest, sweetest, most obliging guy on earth. He has absolutely no enemy.

[Fred Peterson]

That you know about.

[Hetty Parsons]

Tom and I have no secrets from each other.

[Fred Peterson]

Everybody has at least one enemy.

[Hetty Parsons]

Tom is incapable of hurting anyone in any way.

[Fred Peterson]

He sounds too good to be true.

[Hetty Parsons]

If he does have a problem, that's it.

[Fred Peterson]

All right. The second road to explore. He wasn't pushed. He jumped.

[Hetty Parsons]

What does that mean?

[Fred Peterson]

It means he walked out on it.

[Hetty Parsons]

Oh, it's. It's inconceivable.

[Fred Peterson]

Why?

[Hetty Parsons]

I've had a Liberal education tonight, Mr. Peterson.

[Fred Peterson]

Call me Frank.

[Hetty Parsons]

No, not yet. Or maybe never. I've been introduced to a new world. I've been thrown in with people who basically don't believe in anyone, don't trust anyone. And perhaps they have good cause. Perhaps that's how life is in their world. Perhaps their world is the real world. But it isn't my world.

[Fred Peterson]

May I ask, do you come from another world?

[Hetty Parsons]

It's entirely possible. I won't call you Fred unless and until we become friends. But that's just a little thing. The policeman who brought me here is a confirmed cynic. So is the lieutenant, and so are you.

[Fred Peterson]

I must plead guilty as charged.

[Hetty Parsons]

All of you propose two basic hypotheses. A, my husband was ambushed by enemies. B, my husband abandoned me. You can't conceive of people who. They simply don't make or have enemies. You can't conceive of people who are completely in love. I'm not a fool, Mr. Peterson. I read these attitudes.

[Fred Peterson]

What a wonderful world you live in, Mrs. Parsons. I hope you can stay there always.

[Hetty Parsons]

We're so dependent on each other, Tom and I. We need each other. We're. We're so complete together.

[Fred Peterson]

But we still have the basic fact of his disappearance.

[Hetty Parsons]

Yes, but all you can see are two alternatives. There is a third, you know.

[Fred Peterson]

Really?

[Hetty Parsons]

Perhaps he was taken ill suddenly, and he just wandered off. Oh, maybe I should go back there.

[Fred Peterson]

I've already been back there. There's no place he could have wandered off to. Tell me, does he have a history of any sort of illness, amnesia, anything like that?

[Hetty Parsons]

No, nothing like that.

[Fred Peterson]

Well, then, where are we? Nowhere.

[Hetty Parsons]

Perhaps you are nowhere, Mr. Peterson.

[Fred Peterson]

Okay. Tell me where you are.

[Hetty Parsons]

I have faith. I believe Tom will be found, or he will find himself. And he will have an absolutely reasonable and rational explanation.

[Fred Peterson]

I hope so.

[Hetty Parsons]

Oh, Tom. Darling. Tom, what happened to you? I was so sorry. Head. Darling, you're all right.

[Fred Peterson]

Hetty, are you all right?

[Hetty Parsons]

Yes.

[Fred Peterson]

I don't understand. I happened to tune in the news, and there it was. Tom Parsons, accountant with offices in the Barstow building, had disappeared under mysterious circumstances.

[Hetty Parsons]

Tom, I was so worried.

[Fred Peterson]

Mr. Parsons was driving with his wife. He stepped out of the car to clean off the rear window and. Hetty, what did you tell them? I wasn't in the car with you. I was at home. Well, here we have the story of two people who love each other deeply, who trust each other completely. It sounds like the Garden of Eden, but we all know what happened back there in the traffic and the snow. We shall return shortly with Act 2. You've seen these couples, or rather heard of them. They dwell in a sea of perfect harmony. Never a ripple of discord. But when they do have a disagreement, well, it's a beaut. Here we have Fred Peterson listening to Hetty and Tom Parsons having a fantastic difference of opinion.

[Hetty Parsons]

Tom. Tom, how can you say that?

[Fred Peterson]

Eddie, darling, I was not in the car with you. I was home.

[Hetty Parsons]

Home, you said, let's get out of this miserable cold and snow. Let's head south for a couple of weeks.

[Fred Peterson]

Eddie, when did I say that? How could I say that? You know I'm swamped with work at the office.

[Hetty Parsons]

You came home this afternoon, Tom. You said, how would you like to leave for Florida tonight? And I said, give me an hour to par.

[Fred Peterson]

Excuse me. Who's he?

[Hetty Parsons]

Oh, he's just.

[Fred Peterson]

I'm just Fred Peterson of the Union Messenger, a reporter. Oh, please, please, please don't be alarmed. I assure you it's a thoroughly respectable profession. Well, I. I see no point in, well, emblazoning this all over the newspapers. Is there anything to emblazon, as you put it? This is a private affair.

[Hetty Parsons]

Tom, tell me what happened. What happened to you after you left me?

[Fred Peterson]

Betty, I told you, I never left. Tom, how could I have left you? I wasn't with you.

[Hetty Parsons]

Oh, no, Tom. This time I have witnesses. The police officer, he knows you went out to clear the rear window.

[Fred Peterson]

How does he know?

[Hetty Parsons]

Because he.

[Fred Peterson]

Because you told him. Mr. Parsons, now, obviously your wife seems distraught. I would suggest.

[Hetty Parsons]

Keep your Suggestions to yourself, Mr. Peterson. Don't you dare imply that I'm overwrought or nervous or hysterical. I am completely calm. Extremely rational and absolutely in command of myself. I know what happened this evening, Mr. Peterson.

[Fred Peterson]

This is obviously a private matter between my wife and me and nobody's business but ours. What did you mean, Mrs. Parsons, when you said that this time you had witnesses? Have there been other times when. Hetty, it doesn't do us any good to air this in public.

[Hetty Parsons]

All right, Tom, take me home.

[Fred Peterson]

Let me talk to that officer at the desk there. Find out if there's anything we have to do. Well?

[Hetty Parsons]

Well, what?

[Fred Peterson]

Friend? Husband. Tom. He didn't turn out to be quite as advertised.

[Hetty Parsons]

And what is that supposed to mean?

[Fred Peterson]

He isn't quite the sweetest, mildest, most obliging guy on earth, is he?

[Hetty Parsons]

He is to me.

[Fred Peterson]

I guess it's all a matter of how these words are defined, isn't it? And about this oh so complete understanding between the two of you. Won't you at least admit you're having a difference of opinion right now?

[Hetty Parsons]

I don't have to admit anything. Okay, okay. Don't shoot.

[Fred Peterson]

I'll go quietly. Are you sure you really want me to go?

[Hetty Parsons]

Please.

[Fred Peterson]

Regardless of what you say to me, you are in trouble. No, no, don't deny it.

[Hetty Parsons]

Well, what if I am?

[Fred Peterson]

I'd like to help you.

[Hetty Parsons]

Why?

[Fred Peterson]

Because.

[Hetty Parsons]

Would you want to help me if I were middle aged and fat and sloppy and ugly?

[Fred Peterson]

It isn't. Ten minutes ago you accused me of living in a world where no one trusted the next fellow or believed in him. You accused me of being a confirmed cynic. Is it possible you don't remember what you say from one minute to the next?

[Hetty Parsons]

I'm sorry.

[Fred Peterson]

Don't be. There's a great deal to what you said.

[Hetty Parsons]

You're kind, but no one can help.

[Fred Peterson]

I could try.

[Hetty Parsons]

And no one should try either.

[Fred Peterson]

Why not?

[Hetty Parsons]

It's too dangerous.

[Fred Peterson]

That was the wrong thing to say to me.

[Hetty Parsons]

I'm warning you.

[Fred Peterson]

You're only getting me in deeper.

[Hetty Parsons]

Please.

[Fred Peterson]

Openers. My business is to take chances and get myself into. Hey, you know what happened?

[Hetty Parsons]

What?

[Fred Peterson]

You called me Fred.

[Hetty Parsons]

I'm sorry. I shouldn't have.

[Fred Peterson]

What? You did. And that means we're friends.

[Hetty Parsons]

Look, I only.

[Fred Peterson]

You're the one who set up the ground rules for this thing. First names are for friends only.

[Hetty Parsons]

Please forget what happened here tonight. I warned you.

[Fred Peterson]

You've already warned me twice. It won't work.

[Hetty Parsons]

I can only warn you three times.

[Fred Peterson]

Do you mean you keep score?

[Hetty Parsons]

Please don't joke, Fred.

[Fred Peterson]

You keep saying the wrong word. Or I should say the wrong name. The wrong name is Fred. You can't call me Fred and expect me to forget everything.

[Hetty Parsons]

I warn you. I warn you for the time first, third time, forget all about tonight for your own sake, for your own safety.

[Fred Peterson]

After saying all that, you still expect me to forget about it?

[Hetty Parsons]

I tell my husband I'll wait for him outside in the car.

[Fred Peterson]

Wait a minute, Hetty.

[Hetty Parsons]

I warned you, Fred. I warned you three times. Now, goodbye.

[Fred Peterson]

Where's my wife? She said she'd meet you in the car. Mr. Peterson, if I were you, I'd forget everything that happened tonight. Is that a threat? No, a warning. That's all I've been getting around here, warnings. Well, for your own good, take them seriously. And if I don't? You'll regret it for the rest of your life. Which may not be a long one. You still insist that you're not threatening me? I'm only trying to help you. Really? And why should you do that? Why? I don't know why. Maybe it's because the last guy tried to help me. What last guy? I didn't listen to him. Alaska. What do you mean? Nothing. Forget it. You know, with you and your wife, it seems everything turns out to be nothing and forget. I don't think it matters now. I have an idea it's already too late for you. I'm sorry. Good night, Mr. Peterson. Hey, Brett. Fred. Yeah, Lieutenant, I'm coming. Well? Well, what? There's nothing there for us boys in blue. What's in it for the fourth estate? Looks like he's trying to drive her nuts. It could also be the other way around. I don't think so. Because of that honey colored blonde hair? Lieutenant. Lieutenant, you always know where the exposed nerve is. Just stop and figure it out. Couldn't this also be her way of trying to drive him nuts? As a reporter, I would have to say yes. But as a man, I don't know. Well, you got a problem, Fred. How you going to tackle it? As a reporter or as a man? Good morning.

[Hetty Parsons]

Oh, Brett. What are you doing here?

[Fred Peterson]

Won't you ask me to come in?

[Hetty Parsons]

Well, I.

[Fred Peterson]

You could also offer me a cup of coffee. It's been a long drive on a cold morning.

[Hetty Parsons]

Oh, well, I suppose you might as well come inside.

[Fred Peterson]

How gracious.

[Hetty Parsons]

I'm sorry. I'm. Well, I'm still upset and you should know why. Come into the kitchen. I was just pouring myself a cup.

[Fred Peterson]

Thanks. Charming place you have here.

[Hetty Parsons]

Thank you. I suppose Tom is generous enough when it comes to money and things.

[Fred Peterson]

The implication being that he is not generous when it comes to what Fred,

[Hetty Parsons]

if you insist on talking about Tom, I'll have to ask you to leave.

[Fred Peterson]

Okay, let's talk about you.

[Hetty Parsons]

No, we can't talk about me, either.

[Fred Peterson]

What can we talk about?

[Hetty Parsons]

The weather? Politics? Sports? You'd be surprised. I'm a very well informed person. We could talk about art or literature.

[Fred Peterson]

I didn't come here to talk about those things.

[Hetty Parsons]

I know why you came here.

[Fred Peterson]

Do you?

[Hetty Parsons]

Fred, I'm a married woman.

[Fred Peterson]

But you're not a happily married woman.

[Hetty Parsons]

I'm happy enough.

[Fred Peterson]

Okay, let me tell you why I'm here. As a reporter, that is. It doesn't happen very often that you get a chance to be in on a story before it's a story. You follow me?

[Hetty Parsons]

No.

[Fred Peterson]

Last night, all I could have gotten out of it might have been a squib on the back page or maybe nothing. But something's happening here. Something's building. I don't know what it is, but one of you is lying. One of you is trying to destroy

[Hetty Parsons]

the other, and you think you can stop it.

[Fred Peterson]

Oh, no, that's not my job. But there's gonna be an explosion, and I want to be there when it blows, because then I'll have a story.

[Hetty Parsons]

And that's all this is. That's all I am to you. A story.

[Fred Peterson]

I was talking as a reporter. But as a man. Yes, as a man, I'd. I'd like to help you, Hetty.

[Hetty Parsons]

Even if it meant losing your story. Yes, I'd like to believe that.

[Fred Peterson]

Why can't you?

[Hetty Parsons]

I tried to warn you, Fred.

[Fred Peterson]

We had all that last night.

[Hetty Parsons]

I can't warn you anymore. But remember, I did warn you.

[Fred Peterson]

Yeah, sure.

[Hetty Parsons]

Don't brush it aside, Fred.

[Fred Peterson]

Hetty, on the general subject of warnings, I've had a few in my day. From gangsters, from politicians. I mean, from people who had clout.

[Hetty Parsons]

But I did warn you.

[Fred Peterson]

Look, if you want me to, I'll sign a receipt. Let the record show that you warned me.

[Hetty Parsons]

You were right. He is trying to destroy me.

[Fred Peterson]

Ah, finally. Why?

[Hetty Parsons]

I don't know.

[Fred Peterson]

Okay, let's go through the standards. Is he after your money?

[Hetty Parsons]

I don't have any.

[Fred Peterson]

Another woman?

[Hetty Parsons]

I don't think so.

[Fred Peterson]

Is he tired of you?

[Hetty Parsons]

I don't know.

[Fred Peterson]

Well, none of this is very helpful.

[Hetty Parsons]

I'm sorry.

[Fred Peterson]

What was this business you were giving me back in the station house? About your perfect marriage? About your perfect husband?

[Hetty Parsons]

Because he is. It's just. Well, now and then, he imagines things. Like last night.

[Fred Peterson]

What's now and then?

[Hetty Parsons]

Oh, every few months, one time he stranded me up in Maine. Another time we were supposed to go to Europe. He told me he would be delayed and to get on the plane he would make the next one. And there I was, all by myself in Paris. He denied everything.

[Fred Peterson]

Has he seen a doctor?

[Hetty Parsons]

Yes, and it hasn't done any good.

[Fred Peterson]

Is he overworked?

[Hetty Parsons]

Oh, yes.

[Fred Peterson]

Well, maybe he needs a long vacation.

[Hetty Parsons]

I'm sure of all.

[Fred Peterson]

Sounds pretty simple to me, except for one little item. Why have you insisted on warning me?

[Hetty Parsons]

Because it was the right thing to do.

[Fred Peterson]

I don't understand. First you imply that everything is so simple. Then when I start to believe it, you drop a little suggestion that throws me off valid. I. I can't seem to get anything definite out of you.

[Hetty Parsons]

Oh, but you did.

[Fred Peterson]

What was that?

[Hetty Parsons]

A warning.

[Fred Peterson]

Lieutenant Carroll. Hey, Lieutenant, how goes the parson case? How did you know I was going to ask you about the part? Honey, Blonde hair. Does it really show that much? Pal, you are hooked. You know, Sammy, that's true. And she may even be playing me like a fish. So, what can I do for you? Well, no crime has been committed yet, but you can bet there's one on the way. Well, till then, we're handcuffed around here. Sure, but you got all the facts. What facts? I mean. I mean, you can get at them in a routine way, work up both of them some past histories. That's spending the taxpayers money. You spend the taxpayers money every day. Something's ready to blow up there. Just be ready for it. That's all I'm asking. Actually, Fred, if you want the truth, we've already started. And keep in touch. Yeah? They said you're in this office. Well, look who's here. Tom. Tom the piper son.

[Hetty Parsons]

Come on in.

[Fred Peterson]

Mr. Peterson, I've decided to tell you everything because. Because I know you're in love with my wife. Wait a minute now. There are all kinds of meaningless expressions. Wait a minute. See here, hold on. Or if you. Let's dispense with them, you can't accuse me. I don't accuse you. I state a fact. Well, and let's. Let's be fair. I only met your wife last night. I. I admit she's attractive. I don't even know her. That's what I told him. That's what you told who? The last guy. The last guy she was married to. I wish I knew how to start this. Well, start at the beginning. Okay. I'm an accountant. You're a reporter. Both of us are men of the world. I mean, this world you live on facts. I live on figures. So how can I tell you? How can I expect you to believe me when I say that Hetty isn't a human being at all? She isn't? No. She's a witch. A witch? Yes, that's what he said. A witch. But how can it be? Wasn't all that witch business over and done with more than 200 years ago? Well, that's what we intend to find out shortly. When I return with act three.

[Hetty Parsons]

This is WBBM Chicago, where the time is 1104.

[Fred Peterson]

Tom Parsons and Fred Peterson sit in a newspaper office. Both the young, alert, stylishly dressed, every bit the modern, sophisticated men of today. And yet the subject, the very serious subject under discussion is witchcraft, of all things. Well, it isn't every day a man accuses his wife of being a witch. It isn't every day a man finds out he's married to one. I can only say it's incredible. I know. That's what I said when he told me. When who told you? The last guy. Tell me about the last guy. I met Hetty on a cruise ship about five years ago. She said her husband had just somehow disappeared. She was distraught. You know, she does the distraught bit to perfection. I know nothing of the kind. What happened? Had he. Had he fallen overboard? That's. That's what she made everybody think. We got a radiogram from shore. He claimed he knew nothing about the trip. Well, either he had boarded the boat or he hadn't. Okay, let's get all of that cleared away. There was a ticket in his name. There were some people who claimed they had seen him. The trouble is, there was a pretty drunk bond voyage party. Most everyone was in no shape to remember anything. Oh, yes, yes. A steward did claim to have seen him aboard, but. What? I'm convinced the steward was bribed. So I bought her story. I fell in love with her, just as you did. And I helped her kill it. Just as you're going to help her kill me. You know what I think? I know what you think. You think I'm a nut. You could look it up. Five years ago. Stacy's Mountain Bill Lodge in the Adirondacks. She called me. She was desperate. Come up here. He's going to kill me. I flew up. I found them. They were near a cliff. She was screaming for help. I started fighting him off. I. I guess he slipped. He fell over the side. He was killed. Look it up. Coroner's office. You'll see an accident. Let's assume I buy all this. How does it make her a witch. Oh, she told me. She'll tell you afterwards. She's a witch. She falls in love with men, gets tired of them and destroys them. I think you must be. I know. I'm here to warn you, but I'm gonna kill her first. Let me get you a cup of coffee. You're a fool. I'm here to save your life. Sure. Okay. Look her up. I mean that. See if you can find a trace of her. See if you can find out where or when she was born, who her parents were. She has absolutely no background, I tell you. Don't, don't, don't. Don't get excited. This is all so familiar. All of this is what he said to me and what I said to him back there before I killed him. Now, nobody's gonna kill anybody. I don't know you, but you look like a nice guy. Take my advice. Save yourself. Save yourself.

[Hetty Parsons]

I'm not sure I should be here with you tonight, Fred.

[Fred Peterson]

Well, you wouldn't let me visit you at home.

[Hetty Parsons]

Oh, it just wouldn't look right.

[Fred Peterson]

Yeah, but it's all on the level. I'm a newspaper man.

[Hetty Parsons]

It's business.

[Fred Peterson]

I'm doing a story.

[Hetty Parsons]

I had a very proper upbringing.

[Fred Peterson]

Where were you raised? Hetty?

[Hetty Parsons]

I'd rather not talk about it.

[Fred Peterson]

Why?

[Hetty Parsons]

Well, I told you it was proper, but it wasn't happy. I shouldn't say this, but there were times when I thought my parents were ogres. Fred, is something wrong?

[Fred Peterson]

No, no, no, no. Gee, I. I just hope I didn't spell anything on you.

[Hetty Parsons]

No, I didn't have a happy childhood. I. I don't like to discuss it.

[Fred Peterson]

Here's something we should discuss. I spoke with Tom this morning.

[Hetty Parsons]

I think I know what he told you.

[Fred Peterson]

So far out I even hesitate to mention it. But obviously he believes it.

[Hetty Parsons]

I insisted that he see a psychiatrist. In fact, we both went. And it's the doctor's opinion that Tom is riddled with guilt. You see, he thinks he murdered Larry.

[Fred Peterson]

Larry?

[Hetty Parsons]

My first husband. But Larry was a brute. I was very young and were really too young to know anything about people. Larry was a drunk. I didn't know that either. And when he had a few, he would abuse me. I shouldn't have done it, but I was terrified. I called Tom and he came up and got into a fight with Larry. And, well, there was that accident.

[Fred Peterson]

But why should he get that far out notion about you?

[Hetty Parsons]

According to the doctor, it had to be something. Well, something he could live with. Something that could justify what he did. And he really has a vivid imagination.

[Fred Peterson]

Strikes me as a very sober minded person.

[Hetty Parsons]

Aside, he was a lit major at college. He became an accountant because he had to make a living. I. I don't know what I'm going to do about him. Fred, I've had so much trouble in my life and he's really a wonderful guy and I love him. Why does he want to destroy us? Why should he have a guilty conscience about Larry? Whatever happened was in self defense.

[Fred Peterson]

Well, look, everything will turn out all right.

[Hetty Parsons]

Oh, you're only saying that because you have to say something.

[Fred Peterson]

No, I believe it. No.

[Hetty Parsons]

Tom.

[Fred Peterson]

Yes, it's Tom.

[Hetty Parsons]

But you said you were working late.

[Fred Peterson]

Well, I am. I just took a break for dinner. Join you? Please, Fred, you obviously didn't hear a word I said this morning, did you? I heard every word, heard them all and listened to none.

[Hetty Parsons]

Tom, you're not well.

[Fred Peterson]

And I think I know what you think. You think we should go away for a rest and all that. Forget it. I know what I have to do and I'm gonna do it. Poor Fred. I feel sorry for you. You're in love with her. To keep the record straight, I'm a reporter. There's a story here. I aim to get it. Sure, sure. That's what you tell yourself. Let's go. Along with you, Tom. Suppose what you say is true. Suppose she's what you say she is. Why not walk out, get a divorce? I can't. Why? I hope you never find out. You see, she destroys you. She takes away your capacity to love, your feelings, your mind. It's as if you are only just nourishment for her. And when everything you have to give is gone, she discards you for someone else. Tom, for your own sake, I think you should be under a doctor's care. In a hospital. I suppose I should. But I want to save you. It'll make up for Larry.

[Hetty Parsons]

I must apologize, Fred, for exposing you to all this. I shouldn't have come here.

[Fred Peterson]

But you wanted to expose him to all this. That's why you came here. You knew I always eat here when I work late.

[Hetty Parsons]

Tom, I'll do anything you want. Just tell me.

[Fred Peterson]

Disappear as a supernatural person. You can arrange that without any problem.

[Hetty Parsons]

Please, Fred, go now. Leave us alone.

[Fred Peterson]

But I don't want to.

[Hetty Parsons]

He's my problem. I have to live with him. And if you say well, an audience always excites him.

[Fred Peterson]

Now look who finally showed up. What happened to that Nobel Prize for journalism you were working on? Tenet? There is no Nobel Prize for Journalism. Oh, well, what happened, anyhow? I got off it all. Couldn't make heads or tails. Well, we're still on it, as a matter of fact. Information keeps pouring in all the time on her. On him. Funny duck. He was always interested in spirits, that kind of thing. He wrote his master's thesis on something called demonology. Well, there's nothing there for me. As a man or a reporter?

[Hetty Parsons]

Both.

[Fred Peterson]

You know, I've been married 10 years and I've never been tempted. But if I could be, she could do it. Oh, that dame is something. I'm surprised at you, Lieutenant. But there's hope for you. If what you say about the husband is true, he winds up in the loony bin. And after a respectable interval, she could be yours. That's what's in your mind, right? You are the most cynical person I know. Come off it. We're two of a kind. I'd even wait for her myself. Lieutenant Carroll.

[Hetty Parsons]

Is Fred Peterson there, please?

[Fred Peterson]

Hold on. I'll see. It's the girl you love. Cut it on. Okay. The girl we love. You here? Yeah. Yeah, I guess I'm here. Take it. Hello, Fred.

[Hetty Parsons]

I'm scared.

[Fred Peterson]

What's the matter, Hetty?

[Hetty Parsons]

Don't ask any questions. Just come to my place quickly. Come in, Fred. Oh, darling, I'm so glad you're here.

[Fred Peterson]

Eddie. Eddie, why are you shaking like that?

[Hetty Parsons]

I'm frightened. I'm so frightened.

[Fred Peterson]

Please, please, Hetty, calm down. I'm here. Everything is going to be all right.

[Hetty Parsons]

I know it. I know it's wrong for me to talk to you like this, to feel like this, but I can't help it.

[Fred Peterson]

We'll work it out somehow. We'll work it out. Now, now, now. Why are you scared?

[Hetty Parsons]

I. He asked me to take his suit to the Queen's this morning. And I found this in his pocket.

[Fred Peterson]

Your receipt.

[Hetty Parsons]

Read it.

[Fred Peterson]

From Carrington's. One double action Danforth Wilson revolver. Count of a 32.

[Hetty Parsons]

He bought a gun. Don't you see? He bought a gun, all right. Why would he buy a gun if he didn't want to kill me?

[Fred Peterson]

Well, I think we have enough to interest the police. Now, are you sure about that? Well, answer the question, Fred. What do you expect from the police? I have a permit for this gun. I have every right to own it. Look, Tom, I get very nervous when people point guns at me. Maybe it's unreasonable, but do you. You mind putting that. That thing away? Well, I will after I use it.

[Hetty Parsons]

No, Tom, don't be a fool.

[Fred Peterson]

You're not a Killer. I always thought that so just now. Tom, listen. Let's say you're right, that she is a witch, okay? Don't you see?

[Hetty Parsons]

You couldn't kill her anyhow.

[Fred Peterson]

You'd empty the gun at her. It wouldn't mean a thing. Fine. Why don't we find out? I won't let you. Get away from me, Fred. Oh, come on. Step up. Give me a gun. I'll kill you. Just lower it.

[Hetty Parsons]

Drop it. I'm going to kill her.

[Fred Peterson]

Don't.

[Hetty Parsons]

Drop it. Drop it. You did it again, Eddie. It did it

[Fred Peterson]

again. Call a doctor. Eddie. What for? You poor sucker. You think she. She's not worth it? You think she's paradise? She is. She is. But it doesn't last. It doesn't last.

[Hetty Parsons]

And then she'll kill you.

[Fred Peterson]

She'll kill you, too. He's. He's dead. You saw. You saw. There was nothing I. I could do.

[Hetty Parsons]

I know. I know.

[Fred Peterson]

Better call. Lieutenant Carroll. Lieutenant, it's Fred. Hey, Fred. I got news for you. What I mean is, I have absolutely no news for you. Lieutenant, listen to me. You know, we. We drew a complete blank on that dame. We trace her back to St. Louis City hall, where she married a guy named Larry Bellows. She gave her home address as Charterville, Illinois, but there's no such place. Listen, Lieutenant, it's as if this thing just materialized out of thin air. No background at all. Wait a minute. Hetty. Who are you?

[Hetty Parsons]

Hello, Fred.

[Fred Peterson]

Fred, why did you call? Who are you? Hetty? Fred. What's on your mind, Eddie?

[Hetty Parsons]

I warned you three times, Fred. I warned you three times.

[Fred Peterson]

And how many warnings would you have needed or heeded? That's the trouble. When they have honey blonde hair, it's so hard to take them seriously. A mistake. You should always take every woman seriously. We'll be back. Short. Are there really witches? Everyone must keep his own counsel on the matter. However, if you should happen upon a damsel in distress, and she has honey blonde hair and baby blue eyes, remember, we warned you three times. Our cast included Joan Loring, Mason Adams, Tom Keena, Alan Manson and Sam Gray. The entire production was under the direction of Hyman Brown. Now a preview of our next tale. Look at me, Mama. Listen to me. Call you that, Mama. A grown man, 38 years old. Tied to his mother's apron strings like. Like some sniveling little boy. Father's life wasn't his own either. You killed him. You. You are mad. Give away. You want to kill me. I'm not going to kill you, Mama. You know I haven't got the strength of will for that.

[Hetty Parsons]

Of course you won't, son. But you can have anything you want. Now, we've had this little talk. Now please get Hannah like a good boy.

[Fred Peterson]

Oh, no, mama. I don't need you anymore. You left me everything in your will. But I'm not dead to all the world. Except me, you are. This is e. G. Marshall inviting you to return to our mystery theater for another adventure in the macabre. Until next time, pleasant dream, Ra.

[Hetty Parsons]

Foreign.

[Fred Peterson]

There's more from the CBS radio mystery theater, the horror and all of the relic radio podcasts at the website relicradio.com. you can donate through that website as well. Well, if you'd like to help support this and all of the shows, thanks again to those who have thanks for joining me this week. I'll be back tomorrow with strange tales and a story from the CBC mystery theater. And next Saturday with our next episode of the horror.