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Woman of Influence
Abundant Ever After: Cathy Heller on Prosperity, Ease, and Living in Alignment
00:50:57
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- [00:00]
A
We are inherently abundant. I mean, abundance is all around us. It's infinite. It's within us, it's made for us. It's everything. If you have a hard time seeing that, it's hard to believe that. Which then means if you don't believe it or you can't see it or it's not tangible for you, and maybe the listeners can relate to this, it's really hard for them to either identify or create the tools to create a life for prosperity and ease. Welcome to the Influencer podcast. I'm your host, Julie Solomon. If you found yourself here, it means you are ready to unleash the powerful visionary that lives inside you, turning you into an authentic leader who creates influence, impact and change. Let's get started. Hi and welcome back to another episode of the Influencer podcast. Today we have my dear friend and incredible leader, Kathy Heller joining us today. We are talking about all things abundance and tools for creating a life of prosperity and ease. I am telling you, you are not going to be able to leave this conversation without feeling transformed, inspired and completely uplifted to truly live your best year yet. Kathy is a dear, dear friend of mine and I have never left a conversation with her not feeling really just in my higher self. She just has a gift of making people feel so seen and so understood and so aligned with their purpose and path. And I am just so excited to bring this conversation to you all today. It is such a treat and again, what a beautiful way to start off this new year. Let's get started.
- [01:44]
B
Thank you so much for having me on. Although I love being with you anytime. We could go grocery shopping together and I would think it was just as much fun as this, so.
- [01:53]
A
I know, I just. Well, welcome back. It's so funny that I have to like introduce you because you're. We were just sitting here having like a 15 minute conversation. Like you're, you're seriously one of the most important people in my life and I love you so much. You're like a sister, a companion. Just you're. You're so many things in my life and so I now I get to bring you back and re welcome you into my podcast community. What a gift to have you here today just for you to share your light and everything that is Kathy Heller and this new amazing book, Abundant Ever after tools for creating a life of prosperity and ease. Can I get an amen?
- [02:39]
B
Amen.
- [02:40]
A
Amen to that. So we're gonna be diving in. We're gonna be diving. This is your second book. We're gonna be talking all about this and really we're just, we're gonna just be us. So let's just, let's just dive in. So I know that this is your second book and I know that you've been working on this for a long time. Know that now was the time, especially as a multi titled author, why was now the time to write a book about creating a life of prosperity and ease and really from that lens of abundance that you know so well?
- [03:12]
B
You know, I think that what's really exciting is every once in a while we get a whisper from our soul. You know, it's funny because the mind is really loud, but it has no answers. But the heart has all the answers. And there comes a moment, and hopefully many moments, but there comes a moment where you can no longer hold back your spiritual truth. And I think the thing that we all are really seeking, which is why we love Wicked, right? This movie is really all about how there is no wizard of Oz outside of us. Like the mystic lives inside of our soul. It always was there a long. And as Marianne Williamson says, like, we fully on some level are like afraid of our power because we know that it's sitting there a little bit dormant because we haven't always given it its wings. And the reason, I think why our power sometimes scares us is because we wonder if we were to step fully into it, if it would trigger our relationships or disrupt our relationships, or would we be too much or would the world know how to receive us and is it just better for us to blend in or stand out? And I'm a little older than you. And when I turned 40, I remember being at my birthday party and my friend walked over to me and he said, you know, it's just getting started. And I was like, oh, you're just trying to make me feel good. That's sweet. And he's like, no. We wandered through the desert. We didn't enter the promised land for 40 years. So in the 40 years that we wandered, we were getting ready, our vessel was getting ready for the amount of light that would pour through. And we were building our capacity to stretch, to be able to receive, to be able to fully be who we came here to be. And so he said, it begins at 40. And I feel like we all feel that way. Like once there's some crossing of a threshold, you turn 40 and you're like, oh, all of a sudden I feel this like permission slip click on of like you get to be your authentic self. Full tilt boogie you. And I talked like, three years ago about, like, an integrity cleanse, I think that started to bubble up. And then it's interesting because I got the book deal in 2021, and they asked me to write this book about women and abundance. And I was like, yes. Like, I want to give women the boldest feeling of audacity, that you should be audacious enough to ask for everything that you actually want from life and not make it okay. When really the reason you want such incredible things is because your soul knows it was meant to just thrive like a redwood tree was meant to thrive. It's not asking for too much. It's meant to be that tall. And so I was like, yes. And so I start writing this book about abundance, which is something you and I both love deconstructing. So women allow themselves to receive it, as opposed to feeling like there's something wrong with them for wanting it. No, it's what's right with you that you know that that's you. You're the daughter of a king. Like, let's go. Like, let's be a steward for as much bounty. And then what started happening was as I was writing, I started thinking, oh, my gosh, I want to say all these, like, spiritual things. Like, is that going to make me weird? Right? Is that going to make me too.
- [06:28]
A
Woo.
- [06:29]
B
And then, like, as I was writing through the pages, it's like my mind got quieter and my heart got louder. And then I finished the book, or so I thought. And the book was turned in last October. And after October 7, I asked my publisher, I was like, can I have that book back? And she's like, well, the book comes out in February, so. No, because it's done. It's locked, right? This is end of October. Book comes out in February. February 2nd. I was like, yeah, I'm gonna need the book back.
- [06:55]
A
If you are still listening to this podcast episode, it's probably because your social content isn't hitting the sales goals that you know that you're capable of achieving. It just doesn't feel easy. You're likely frustrated because while sales are happening for you, they aren't growing at the level you know they could be. You see others in your niche skyrocketing, and you're wondering why your sales aren't reflecting the brilliance that you bring to the table. And let's just be honest, not from a place of comparison, but from a place of clarity. You know, you have more expertise than most people in your space. You know, the transformation you provide is second to none. So why Aren't more people buying your offers after consuming your content? Nine times out of ten, the problem isn't your pricing or your offer, it's a gap in your messaging. The way you communicate with your audience is the difference between ideal clients buying from you every single day or your sales remaining static for months. The truth is, when you learn how to shift and refine your messaging, you'll have clients reaching out to work with you directly from the content you're already creating without needing constant sales calls, posting every day, or chasing after the next viral trend. This is exactly what I cover inside the Brand Accelerator, which you get lifetime access to, helping you turn your content into a magnet for your ideal clients so your sales can finally reflect the expertise and transformation you offer. Let's turn your messaging into a powerful sales and brand visibility tool. Ready to get started? You can join me@juliesolomon.net TBA.
- [08:49]
B
So I take back the book, sit down at my computer, tears pouring out of my eyes, and I'm like, just listening to the ancestors, like Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, like, telling me the most spiritual things possible to put on the page. And in one weekend I wrote like 26,000 words. And so we had to crop other things to make room for this. And I thought, my publisher is going to look at me like I have three heads. And instead they were like, this is the most beautiful thing that you could possibly have written. It is so gorgeous. It is so much truth. It's so much wisdom. It's so ancient. It stood the test of time. I'm so glad you took the book back. And then when we went to lock the book, the week we locked the book, where I couldn't touch it anymore was the week of July 4th. And my dad passed away July 3rd. And I found an essay during hospice in his hospice room that he wrote about the ocean and how he would go to the ocean every day and thank God for his magnificence. It's the most beautiful essay. And I wrote to my agent on freaking July 4th, which was the my dad passed on July 3rd. And I said, I know the book is locked and I know it's a holiday and I know nobody's there, but could you add three pages? Because I want to put this essay in the back of the book. And they said, of course we're going to add it. And then we locked the book. And my dad used to say, I love you. Like fireworks, it's fireworks. When I see you, it's fireworks. So his funeral was on the 5th, and on the 4th, we made all the arrangements. And then there were the fireworks at night. And I said, dad, you brought these fireworks. And if I could only show you that your work is going to be printed in my book. So I knew that, that. That whole adventure, we kept pushing it back, we kept rewriting all of that. It's like it was all in divine order. And I felt so grateful that all of that got in just in time. And so it's just been the most awesome gift to be even a part of it. Meaning, like, everything's from God, you know, just the fact that I get to be a part of feeling like I have some part in writing this book, you know, when it was all kind of channeled. And it's been amazing to see the response that people feel like, wow, you're speaking right to me. The very first thing I say in the book pretty much is that you're a masterpiece. You're a piece of the master. And it's like, how can anyone walk around and not know that? So it's just been. It's been such a gift. And I think about my first book, and even though I really, like, liked it, it's so different. It was like writing a book that I liked versus, like, a whole spiritual, like, uncovering of, like, who the heck I'm really supposed to be. That's, like, now, like, some, like, oracle that's, like, telling me to, like, let go of everything I thought I was, to become who I'm supposed to be. Like, that's what this book was like. Writing this book.
- [11:57]
A
You know, I've. I've heard a saying throughout the journey of interviewing authors, being interviewed as an author, being a part of the writing space, that people write books when they have something to say. And what I find to be really fascinating about what you just shared is that not only do. Do you have something to say, but really you are a vessel for what others have to say, whether that's your father or your guides. You know, the. The spiritual connection that you have with a divine source that is greater than that thought. And really that feeling. What do you think about that? When it's, you know, you write a book when there's something that needs to be said. And if that's true, how did that come through for you during this process? I mean, you even shared, like, I had to take the book back twice. So, like, what was needed to be said that you could feel through in those moments that compelled you to take the book back twice? And to also have your own process that you Know, obviously, these two monumental moments in life happened.
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B
Yeah.
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A
But how does that connect with that?
- [13:09]
B
Well, it's really beautiful, I think. And I don't think people say what you just said enough because we spend so much time plugging into what's outside of us. And, like, there's no electricity there because we're supposed to just plug into what's inside of us. You know, when we go to make a wish on our cake, on our candles, we instinctively close our eyes because the word insight means it comes from within. But where is it coming from? It's like there is a knowing at any moment in your day, if you decided to stop and you asked your heart, like, what do I need to know right now? It's uncanny. There's an answer. It's just amazing that there is so much wisdom always available, not outside of us, but inside of us. In fact, if anything feels like wisdom outside of us, it's only because it's tapping on what we already knew was true. It's a reminder of what we know to be true. That's why it feels so right, because it lives in us. And so this idea of really listening, I spend, like, in the morning, I walk on the peloton, the treadmill, like, two miles. And usually I spend the first mile talking out loud like. Like, I make sure my kids have left for school so they don't hear, you know, because I'm talking, and I'm just, like, talking to God on the treadmill. I'm like, okay, so here's what's going on. And my sister. And, you know, here's what she needs. And, you know, and this is what I'm thinking, and this is what I need help with. And, like, I'm just. And then I spend the next mile just listening. And I'm like, asking my heart, like, what is the answer? Because the answer is here. And sometimes the answer is inconvenient. Sometimes the answer's like, you're going to need to say no. Set a boundary, speak your truth, be liberated. Sometimes the answer is, slow down. Sometimes the answer is not yet. Sometimes, whatever it is. But it's amazing, right, to have that time. And I say to people, you need a meeting with yourself every day. Like, not just when you're writing a book, but you need a meeting with yourself to download, right? Where is that wisdom that's trying to get your attention? And it's so beautiful and it's so juicy. And then to answer the question you asked, which is, what did I know I needed to say in that process of what I just said is kind of the process. We have a lot of mutual friends, actually, but one of our closest mutual friends is Susie Moore, and it's an aspect of her mantra, which is that it feels so controversial to say this to people because they're so married to the idea that things are so hard earned. But like, the essence of the book, the reason why it says tools for prosperity and ease is because the. The real key to life is that it is meant to be easy. It is not meant to be a struggle. And so the real lesson in the book is when you unhook from the chattery, the mind is like a bumbling detective that doesn't like one of like, I don't have all the answers. And I just keep overthinking, thinking that the more I'll think and the more I struggle and the more I hustle and the more I effort, the more I'll get there and just keeps getting further from it. The way that the world works the same way you and I met, you're like my imaginary friend come to life, right? I never could have put pen to paper and figured out how I meet you or how I meet Susie. Like, two of the, like, you're like stardust that, like, lives and walks around and like, you know, takes your children to school and like, sits down and has dinner. But you're both very much like Haley's Comet in a person, right? You and I, we didn't figure it out how we were going to meet. We met the way that every good thing happens, which is through synchronicity. And synchronicity is the glue that is what's here. And in every moment of your day, you are always at the right place at the right time. And if you're just doing your one job, which is to find the well being inside yourself, it is absolutely uncanny that you will be led. And I wanted to tell a quick example of this. I literally have a zillion examples like this, right? Literally everything in my life is that okay. But one example that really gets people that I put in the book, like, oh my gosh, is that when I started my podcast, I had three kids and they were little. I still have three kids, thank God. But, like, they were little kids. And my youngest was three, three weeks old, Maddie. And my friend's like, I have a friend named Maddie who sells advertising for Adam Carolla, and she's looking for new pod. And I'm like, is it Madison or Madeline? She's like, what does it matter? I'M like, what's her name? She's like, madeline. I'm like, okay, I just named my daughter Madeline. That's a sign. I'm gonna have lunch with her.
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A
Okay.
- [17:26]
B
Anyway, start the podcast that was all synchronicity. After a year, we had a million downloads. Didn't know how that happened. I'm recording in my linen closet, and somehow my linen closet doors opened up to a whole world that was on the other side of my closet. Okay, that's amazing. But then my friends tell me to go to Podcast Movement. So I go to Podcast Movement, which is this conference in Anaheim at the time. And we're all walking around the lobby, this hotel, and everyone has business cards. And I'm like, oh, my God, I'm such a nerd. Like, I forgot business cards. I like, don't have any of my stuff together. And I said to Emma, who's my podcast assistant, was then my assistant. She's now, like, full time, like, biggest part of my team. But I said to her, who is everyone looking for? And she's like, they're all probably trying to meet the Apple podcast team, because if Apple Podcasts puts your podcast and features you, you get a lot of listeners. And I was like, you know what? I feel like this is just too stressful. Like, I don't really want to walk around and, you know, be trying to get something from anyone. And it feels very fake in this networking room. So I'm like, when does the networking portion end? She's like, it ends in an hour. And then the conference begins with all the content. I'm like, great, I'm going to leave. I'm going to come back. I'll meet you in an hour. So I leave. I go to a different hotel. It's calm, it's quiet. I order an iced tea. I just sit down. All of a sudden, I feel good again. Like there's nothing missing, there's nothing lacking. Instead, instead of my moment being trying to network, I was just sitting and relaxing. And sure enough, while I'm sitting there relaxing, this man walks over and sits down and we start talking. And he realizes that him and I have the same badge on. And we were both at that conference. And he's like, did you leave that room also? I'm like, yeah, it's just not my vibe. And he's like, yeah, it's not my vibe either. And then he tells me he's from the Midwest. And I tell him my husband's from Chicago. And we start talking about just life. And then he gets up after 45 minutes, and he's like, here's my card, and I'd love to take you to lunch and give you a tour of the office. And I'm like, oh. And I realize he's the head of Apple Podcasts, and he has become such a good friend of mine.
- [19:24]
A
He's the guy that everybody else in that room was searching for, and he's in a completely different hotel in a lobby, sitting down and hanging out with you.
- [19:31]
B
Exactly. And so the quantum leap is real. And the quantum leap is not about efforting so much to get your black belt. You know, the quantum leap is about changing the vibration within you to a place of ease and surrender, and then everything comes right to you.
- [19:50]
A
And that's what I want to touch on, because you may have steps, tools, stories, metaphors, whatever it may be, but I want to touch on because I know that, you know, we are inherently, I believe, abundant. I mean, abundance is all around us. It's infinite. It's totally within us. It's made for us. It's. It's. It's everything. If you have a hard time seeing that because you've got the veil on, so to speak. Right? Yeah, it's hard to believe that. Which then means if you don't believe it or you can't see it or it's not. It's not tangible for you. And maybe the listeners can relate to this. It's really hard for them to either identify or create the tools to create a life for prosperity and ease. And I'll give you an example. If there's someone listening that's like, okay, Kathy, I hear you. I want it to be easy. I do conceptually, like, believe in this abundance. However, I know me, and I know that if I was in that networking room, I would feel so afraid of, not necessarily missing out, but in a way, so afraid of potentially missing the opportunity to meet the guy I could never have, even if that's still small, small voice within me was saying, get out of this room. You don't want to be here. I would probably force myself to stay and, like, network and do the thing, because that's what I'm, quote, unquote, supposed to do, and that's what everybody else is doing. And then I'm gonna feel weird if I go against the grain, and then I'm gonna be afraid that I'm gonna potentially miss out on this opportunity that could advance me. So, like, how do I start tapping in and tuning in to really trusting myself and trusting in my higher power? Whomever, whatever that may be, so that I can know that everything is always working out for me, even if my ego doesn't think it's working out for me, so that I can be open enough and receptive enough to leave the networking space if I know inherently in my bones that that's not where I'm supposed to be. And, like, do what I feel is best, because that is probably going to reveal so many more greater things for me than I could possibly reveal myself. Are.
- [22:02]
B
Yeah. Yes. I think it's really well articulated because you and I have coached thousands and thousands of women, and we can hear that question. Right. And so it's good that you, on your podcast, you're such a good ambassador for those questions, and then you also very often play the role of answering those questions very well. But that is the question. Right. And so it's so good to speak it out in those words. Right. As these beautiful women would probably speak it if they were at the microphone.
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A
Mm.
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B
The thing is this is that when I ask people what the there is that they want to get to. Right? The fear of missing out of the there, they'll tell me a list, right? What do you want? Okay, let's go. I want $10 million. I want a beautiful house. I want a vacation home. I want this business. Great. I say, hell, yes. Like the Talmud says that the first question you are asked when you get to heaven is to answer for every pleasure you denied yourself. You have to. You have to answer to that because you were created a world in which you were supposed to eat from everything on the buffet. You're literally supposed to enjoy it all. Okay? So I'm like, hell, yes, have it. And then I often say at the same time as, I want you to have everything on that list, my knowing is that you have way bigger dreams than that because you did not come to the world for a pile of things. The reason you want those things is because of how you believe they're going to make you feel. You want how the $10 million feels. You're chasing a feeling. You want how it feels to be in the south of France with your 10 best friends on a wine tour. Great. You want the feeling. You're always, always, always in search of the feeling. So why would you wait for that to happen, to feel that way, when you can feel that right this very second? And so then you realize that if you believe that you have a fear of missing out because something is outside of you, you've already asked the wrong question. If a girl goes On a date and she wants to be liked so badly, that date is not going to be the best date. But if she goes on a date and she is like Zooey Deschanel dancing down the street with her own headphones on at her own party, every guy wants to be with her because she's in a state of wholeness. And wholeness creates wholeness all around us. And so I think about like my grandmother came to this country with nothing like going through the horrors of World War II, lost her mother in the worst, most horrific ways, and yet taught herself to read, went to the library, got her Jane Austen books, and then found this dance club in Harlem. It was restricted to Jews. She pretended she was Italian. She didn't even have enough money for pantyhose and you had to wear stockings. So she found a friend who had an eyeliner pencil and she would draw a line up the back of her leg to make it look like she had stockings on. She became the biggest, best dancer like known. She met my grandfather, who also pretended he was Italian. He was also tall and dark. They wound up getting married. It turns out they were both Jewish. They started this incredible family and off they went. But I think about how the reason those miraculous things happen to her is because she, she chose to have the party right now. It was like, I'm gonna have the party right now. I could. She had a zillion reasons to never dance again, but she went and found the music. So we have to understand that it's not that you want a pile of things.
- [25:31]
A
My friends, I have to let you know about a new approach to strategy that I have been doing over this last year that has helped so many of my clients this year. It is an approach that involves taking a deep dive into your business, examining every part of it, from messaging and offer flow to sales strategies, reviewing your messaging, analyzing your offer suite, refining your sales strategies. We dive into all things like social content, email copy and everything in between. And we really talk about what your offer looks like today and how are we making sure that your offer are your offers and the messaging that you use to sell those offers are talking to each other. And then I dive deep into identifying ways to really amplify your efforts to ensure that not only your public facing messaging and marketing, but also all of the invisible behind the scenes strategies that you need in order to scale actually work together. So if this sounds like something that you need help with, it is going to be perfect for you. If you are an online educator, an online coach, or an online Creator who is looking to take your current business model and scale it to new heights. So I am saying for people that may be making, let's say anywhere around 5 to 10 to 15k a month right now, and they're wanting to hit those big numbers, the 20k, the 30k, the 50k, the 100k months. But sitting here thinking, how do I make this happen? How do I keep seeing other people on the Internet do this? But I can't do this. And it really does come down to those three key things that I mentioned earlier. Your messaging, your offer suite and refining those sales strategies. And that is what is happening in my world. And so if you are interested in learning more about that, I would love for you to go to Julie Solomon.net interest there's going to be a quick form there that you can fill out and from there we will see what you've got going on and see what is the best fit for you. I want to make sure to meet you where you are instead of just throwing, throwing some kind of random program at you that may not benefit you. So that's what the form is for. It's really quick to fill out. Again, that's juliesolomon.net interest if you are looking to scale your offers this year.
- [27:36]
B
Do you want the way that I finally felt when I left that room and I finally felt ease again and I went to the hotel, that was the minute I realized that the feeling good was not outside of me, that the happiness is an inside job because I could be sitting in the most beautiful Waldorf Astoria and have just had a fight with my husband and then it doesn't matter that I'm there because where I live is actually inside my own beingness. And what I'm really looking for is the power to remember that I'm always connected to the divine, always connected to all that is always connected to joy, to possibility, to compassion, to passion, to creativity, to flow state. When you're in flow state, forget piles of Range Rovers and money bags. What you feel is creative thought moving through you. What you feel is this geometric, sacred geometry of the world and you're dancing in it. And your mind is open and your feeling so awake and alive and that's what you really want. So that never is outside of you. So that's number one. And then the other thing I would say is, which is really fun and exciting is that in Judaism the word Kabbalah means to receive. Le cabel means to receive. That's what the Hebrew word actually means. And you've heard me say this a million times. My rabbi, Rabbi David Aaron. I lived in the old city of Jerusalem after college. I lived in King David city for three years, which was the most amazing experience. And I learned with him and his wife and I lived with him. His wife is in seven children. And he was my guide. He was like my Yoda on the journey. And he said to me, if you put a radio here and you turned it on, what happens is you hear music and where was the music before you turned on the radio? And the answer is it's already here. The music is always here, already hidden in plain sight. Once you turn on the radio, what happens is you created a frequency that could receive that sound. Now once you turn on the radio, you can move the tuner to have different frequencies so that you hear a salsa song, hip hop music, whatever. You, you are in control of what the broadcast is. And so all potentials exist because God is infinite, right? There is nowhere God isn't because God is infinite. So all potentials exist and so you can receive whatever it is that you're tuned to. So if you're tuned to wholeness and abundance and you're an overflow of gratitude, you saw the sunrise this morning, you were brushing your daughter's hair this morning, and you were brought to tears that you get to be in this one special perfect moment every day with this little girl. And you drank your coffee and you tasted it and you feel your life force and your heartbeat. You are so abundant, the music is so turned on that everything around you will be turned on and you will turn on everyone around you. So when. When our music inside of us is set to lack, no matter where we go, we no longer have power. We walk into a room, people aren't energized by us. It's kind of like neutral or worse. But when we're in this overflow, right, you're like this. Susie's like this, I'm like this. This is why we're friends. It's like it's all just so net positive that you're having the party the whole time. So then of course there's just the most amazing opportunities because it's such a match to the party you were already having and you didn't need it to make you whole, which is why you could create it, because you can't create wholeness from lack. So it's about remembering that what you're really after is the feeling. And every day choosing to step into the part of you that feels so electric that you already have it. And now it's a blessing for anybody to just come to you because you can have fun at the dmv. You can have. Why would you not want. Why would you only reserve having fun for certain moments rather than really seeing that every moment is a moment? You've been assigned to love another person into life. And your very vibration can make a person smile, can change a person's day. And then it's. I'm sure this happens too. Like, we go places, people just hand us things like, they'll be like, we said we were all full, but we made a table for you. Or we said this was a no, but I don't know how this happened. Something just opened up in the computer and you're gonn get an upgrade. Or my husband's like, how do you do that? I'm like, I think because there's no pressure. And I'm so grateful and happy and making the most of every moment because every person to me is like a Christmas gift that I just get to unwrap, whether it's the waiter or the Uber driver. It's like I'm. I'm so aware that I am being put everywhere that I am all the time, and that is where I'm supposed to be. And then there's always a message in it, it. Or a blessing in it, or I get to be the blessing, which is even the better part. Like, I get to do something or say something that makes somebody feel better. It's like, what. What else are we after? It's because the brain thinks that what it's after is achievement. And it doesn't want to miss out because it believes that in order for it to be enough, it has to do more outside of itself. And the soul knows it couldn't be more whole. It's. It's so whole. It's so complete. It just is. And all it needs to do is be in that. And that becomes a blessing to the world. That's why children and animals are such a blessing. They're just in their wholeness.
- [32:46]
A
Oh, that's so good, Kathy. And it, it, it leads me to this next idea or thought, what you literally just said. It's like, yeah. So many people feel like they've got to earn whatever it is, right? You know, they got it. They got to earn the love, they got to earn the, you know, the opportunity. They gotta earn the challenge. They gotta earn all those things. This is such a great conversation at this time of year because we're going into a new year and when we really look back at, you know, I would just say, like, the last probably four years, it was like, you know, we've had so many external factors out of our control that have just shaken and rocked so many people, from global pandemics to wars to elections to just crazy, volatile things, right? And it's like, I feel like, especially since, you know, 2020, it's kind of like this time every year, everyone's like, okay, this is here, right? You know, and it's like we keep just trying to be positive, you know, and now it's like, end of 2024, and. And I hear it again from people, you know, I've been at holiday parties and we'll ask, you know, how are. Everyone's like, I'm just ready for a new year. This year was hard. This year was tough. And, you know, it's like, I don't remember the last time someone said, julie, this year was flipping awesome. This was a great year. You know, wasn't perfect. There's no perfect year. But this was a great year. And this is why all the things were great. It's like we immediately go to how hard it was, how awful it is. The economy's terrible. People are dying. This. And I mean, it's just this. This crazy thing. And so, again, we choose our thoughts not to say, like, yes, all of that is very true. Very, very, very true. That is the reality of life over the last few years. But how can we give ourselves the gift and the permission to step into this new year? What a gift. Another new year. We get to be here. We get to breathe the air. We get to live this life. And how can we finally do it in a way where we're not anticipating for some outside thing to happen in order for us to finally feel good? Or how can we step into this new year without waiting for the other dang shoe to drop?
- [35:18]
B
Yeah.
- [35:18]
A
And, you know, how can really, the tools that you have in this very book that I am holding right now really help us start to set the tone? Because we do. We set the tone. And, you know, I'll take a little nod from my husband's industry. You know, he'll say, well, Julie, when you change the script, guess what happens? The script changes. And so it's like, how do we change the script? How do we set the tone to where it's not like we keep waiting for this new year or this new month or this new person or this new thing to finally, you know, let us have it, you know, feel good, let us Allow it to be simple or whatever that may be for people.
- [36:02]
B
Yeah, I mean. Well, first of all, it is really interesting, you know, the. The way in which things have been, you know, kind of bumpy, like, you know, over the last four years. And also, if. If you took a snapshot at any time period in human history, it's all the same, in fact, far worse. You know, Middle Ages. Was that better? Dark Ages? What about. You know what I mean? Like, the. The Roman Empire, this. Like, what are we talking about? Like, I think we just don't necessarily zoom out and have perspective on humanity and how it's been since the beginning of time. And. And that's actually by design. Right. The same way that we have 12 hours of light and 12 hours of darkness. God creates a world that has an equal am. Equal amount of darkness, because it's the contrast that lets us create new possibility. The contrast. And what's so special? Like, right now, we're in the month of December. So on the Hebrew calendar, this is the month of Kislev. Kislev is actually the month of miracles, which is why Hanukkah and Christmas happen in this month. But why is that? Why would the days that are the shortest, meaning the darkest days of the year, why would they be considered the brightest days? Because if you took a candle and you light it in the darkest room, one little tiny flame is so potent. But if you took that same one little tiny flame and light it in the middle of the summer, in the middle of high noon on a Tuesday, you actually can't see it at all. So darkness is the invitation to reveal light. And so if you're being a witness to a period of time or to a circumstance or to something that's happening where there is darkness, you are only aware of it because you're being asked to be a lightworker. You get the fulfillment. You get the. You get the merit of getting to feel as though you are part of what's bringing light into that moment. And that winds up being super potent. If you throw a little stone into a pond, you make a small ripple, but if you throw a big stone, you make a giant ripple. And since there is only oneness and we're all connected, we are all being asked to light that light. And that's what's happening right now. And what's also really powerful about when things start to fall apart is that's when things are actually coming together. Because it's only in the winter, as everything falls off the tree, that the tree is regenerating. Itself to what's about to be the most incredible time of year, which is the spring. And. And that is a really important cycle. In fact, I say to people, my friend Emily McDowell just told me this question, and I love it. Like, at the end of a year, ask yourself what needs to die and that's not needed in the new year. Like, what thought or belief or aspect of my behavior or thing I've been doing or agreement I've made, what needs to literally die for me to actually be born in this new year as I actually am, in alignment, meant to be. It's a very important question. And you've heard me say this before, but in. In my book, actually, I tell this story that in the beginning of every day, there are prayers in the Jewish prayer book, and one of them is, is the prayer to be like a rooster. And you've heard me share that, because roosters are very special. Roosters are the first one on the farm. Just when the night gets the absolute darkest and then it gets even darker, the split second it's the darkest, it is. That's when the dawn starts, right? It gets as dark, dark, dark as it can be. And then that's the very second, as dark as it is, that's when it actually flips from the darkest part into the daylight. And so the rooster is the one who gets that. And the rooster says, wake up. The dawn is here. The light is here. Wake up, wake up. And so we pray every day as Jews to be roosters, we ask God to make us like roosters so that we are the ones to say, just when you think it's the darkest, you are put here to call in the light. Right? That's why we're here. And that's the magic of the human condition, is that no matter how heavy things are, we have this capacity. It's unbelievable. We have this capacity to go beyond that and to create the most unbelievable magic, even in the darkest time. And then those twinkle lights, those twinkle lights you see on the Christmas tree in the middle of December, when the days of the darkest are the most beautiful. And so it's a calling. It's a calling forward. It's an assignment. And it really is uncanny. If you go through your day and remember that you are the flame and you're there to light all these wicks throughout your day, you will just notice how people just fall to your feet. They're so ready for that love. And it is such a great opportunity. You know, we're thinking all the time that we're Failing because we think we're meant to change the whole world, and we're not. But we are meant to change the world for one person every day. And we actually not only can do that, we could probably change the world for, like, eight people every day. But we forget that we have that power, and so we just give up. And really, I'll just tell you this crazy story. A friend of mine, she's like, I'm gonna do the next thing that I could possibly do. If somebody offers me an opportunity to do something good, or if I see an opportunity to do something good for no reason, I'm gonna do it. I'm like, fine. So on the bottom of the little bulletin board in her condo complex, there was, like, a little. Little sign, and it was a little phone number on it, and it said they needed volunteers for this hospital. So she's like, oh, man. I said I would do the next thing. And, like, that's not my favorite one, because it sounds hard, but fine. So she calls this number, and the woman who answers said, we have a service where when people are dying in the hospital and they don't have any friends or family to visit them, it's called no One Dies Alone Noda. So she's like, would you like to sign up? And she's like, everything wanted me to say no, because that sounds so heavy and sad, but she said yes. So she goes and she visits, and they give her this assignment of this older man who's dying, and she sits by his bedside. And she decided it was so meaningful that she just went every single day. Some days he'd be sleeping. Some days he talked to her. Some days she would give him, like, water to drink through, like a sponge. And she looked forward to it every day. She wound up finding it really beautiful. And she felt so needed because he didn't have any children, and he didn't have any friends or family. So she went. And then on the last day, he passed away. And she called her mother, and she was crying, and her mom said, oh, my God, it's just so beautiful that you did that. She goes, I. I mean, I can't believe I did. It's so not like me to do that. And I'm so glad that I did it. And her mom said, what was his name? And she told her, and she said, oh, my goodness. She said, he was the OB GYN that delivered you. And she said, wow, my mouth is on the floor. Wow. She said, he brought you into this world, and you repaid him because you helped him Leave this world. Wow. And she said she could not believe that, but those are the kinds of things. Like, when my dad died in July, we came back from Florida after the funeral, and we sat shiva for a week. And we were starting to think about getting back into life a couple weeks after that. And my husband's like, the kids need to, like, go do something. They're, like, going stir crazy. They've been in the hospice. They've been in the funeral. They need to, like, move on. So we decided to go to dinner, and we go to the sushi restaurant, and we're sitting next to this couple, and I heard them talking, and it was my first night out in the normal, quote, unquote, real world after weeks of all that other stuff. And I turned to them and I said, are you on your first date? And the woman said, yes. And I said, I want to buy you dessert. Because I just knew that if I did something for someone for no reason, I would just feel better again. So I buy them dessert. My kids are thinking, that's, like, the funniest thing in the world. She asked me for my social media. We follow each other. We leave. We take the kids to see Despicable Me, and she texts me on my phone a couple hours later. And she thanked me for the dessert. And I asked her if she was gonna go on another date. And she said that she was not sure, but she wanted me to know that she couldn't believe I gave her that dessert, because she told me that she's a widow and this was her first date out in five years since her husband died, and that it took so much strength for her to go. And it just meant it was a sign for her that I brought her the dessert. It was like. Like the universe was saying, like, you're ready and you should go fall in love, and it's good to do this and all of that. And I told her my husband, my. My father died on July 3, so it feels connected, I told her. And she said, well, you don't know how connected it is because he died five years ago on July 3rd. And I said to myself, all of these moments are always available right around us like Easter eggs. But when our mind says, you might miss out, and. And, oh, no, you didn't get the next achievement, and all you're really looking for is piles of money. It's like you miss out on everything that you actually came for. And so what I'm saying is, I have no problem with people building the most extraordinary lives and fulfilling these dreams. Because if the dream is coming to you, then go for it. And at the same time, I'm telling you, the bigger dream is that every day is a dream and that everyone you're around, you could bless them and they could bless you. And why wouldn't you want to uncover that? Because that is so available all the time.
- [45:39]
A
Oh, this has been such a beautiful conversation, Kathy. I have never left the energy of Kathy Heller ever not feeling better about myself and the world and all that is available. Thank you for your heart and your soul and your gifts and your voice and your friendship and this book. Because now we get to take Kathy and we get to put her on my bedside table and on my airplane, and I can just pick it up and whenever I need, whenever I need that good reminder that you are. It's your gift. I mean, it is literally your gift. And it's your soul's calling and purpose to be here to remind us, you know, of. Of the gifts. And you create such an incredible path of leadership to that.
- [46:36]
B
So thank you again, so incredibly generous. And you've been really like, such the essence of a friend to me, like such the real essence of a friend. I think people throw these words around a lot, and I don't know that everybody has been lucky enough to have a friend like you. You have such a pure heart, and everyone in your audience is only in your audience because they really sense that. And I think God is just really showing off with you because you. You couldn't be more beautiful physically, but it doesn't even come close to how beautiful your heart is.
- [47:13]
A
Thank you, Kathy.
- [47:14]
B
And people, when they have the kind of. Of charisma that you have and the face that you have, they don't always know that the real mic drop is the goodness inside of them. But you do know that, and it's all you really tend to. And because of that, those other things just become, like, really beautiful extra like gifts that we all get to enjoy because we get to look at you and enjoy you and watch how you speak with so much conviction and passion, but it's what's coming through your heart. And you do things that are always, like, so beyond. It's the only word. It's like you do things that are so beyond what somebody would even think to do. And so that is my blessing that you just keep receiving that is, which is so beyond, you know, a thousandfold for the way that you just love to love God's world. Like, you're just so good at it. You're so good at it and it's. It's healed your husband and your community. And even the little plants and trees that are on your property are like, enjoying having you run around there.
- [48:21]
A
The stewarding, well, if you spot it, you got it. As you know. And for those listening, you know, just give yourself the gift of this incredible book. You know, it's a. It's a beautiful way to start this new year. John's gonna listen to it on audible, which, because, you know, he doesn't read because he's dyslexic, but he's gonna listen to it. And he, you know, I always say he's the number one. He's the president of the Kathy Heller.
- [48:48]
B
Oh, my God. He's just all heart. He has nothing else going on but a giant heart.
- [48:54]
A
So he's gonna love it. I love it. And for all those listening, if you want to check out Abundant Ever after, you can get it wherever books are sold. We're gonna have the link to make it really easy for you to grab it in the show notes. And then of course, if today's conversation res at all, at all, at all. Kathy and I would love to. To hear about that. So Kathy, if you can just share where people can drop in, send you a message, let you know.
- [49:17]
B
Oh, my God. I would love if you enjoyed this and you can DM me on Instagram at Kathy Heller. Kathy's with a C. You. If you buy the book, there's bonuses@kathy heller.com book but post about it, tag me and Julie and then I'll repost your post if you enjoyed this episode.
- [49:35]
A
Yes. All right, my friends, thank you so much for being here with us and for listening. And thank you again.
- [49:42]
B
Thank you.
- [49:43]
A
I love you so much.
- [49:44]
B
Love you.
- [49:47]
A
As always, thank you so much for joining me today and every week here on the Influencer podcast. If you're wanting to dive deeper into the topics and discussions that we have here, I would encourage you to head over to Julie's Solomon.net and sign up for my weekly newsletter. It is in our amazing newsletter community that we are able to really support you on a much larger scale. And I love to do a ton of amazing things that I send inside your inbox every single week. So just head over to juliesolomon.net you'll see a little spot there that you can add your information in and you will get on the list and start receiving all of that good stuff.