Loading summary
Transcript57 lines
- [00:00]
Julie Solomon
It's not even more just about being me. It's about being the highest version of me. When I think about the highest, most purest, most loving version of me that God could create in God's image, the highest version of me, that's who I want to be. Welcome to the Influencer Podcast. I'm your host, Julie Solomon. If you found yourself here, it means you are ready to unleash the powerful visionary that lives inside you, turning you into an authentic leader who creates influence, impact and change. Let's get started. Welcome back to the Influencer Podcast and to another special edition of our summer show Flip series. If you're just catching up, each summer and sometimes winter, I bring you the behind the scenes of some of the most powerful interviews I I've done on other podcasts. These flipped episodes offer just a really fun and unique window into deeper conversations that I've had around identity, leadership, messaging, Legacy through Someone Else's Mic and today's episode is one of the most personal soul led conversations that I have shared this year. This is my interview with the fabulous Cheryl Ann Skolnicki from the Brilliant Balance podcast. I got to meet Cheryl Ann earlier this year at a female founded female led dinner and we just really hit it off and knew that we wanted to have a deeper conversation. And so in this conversation we explore the concept that's become a cornerstone of my work and that is identity recalibration and what it really means to be her now and how that then affects everything that your business and your life and your leadership touches. So in this episode we talk about how to stop waiting to become the woman that you're really meant to be in this season that is really meant to lead your business, to lead your family, to lead the clients that are coming into your world, and how to start embodying and activating her today. We also talk about why rewriting your origin story is often one of the most powerful moves that you can make to start stepping in to this highest self identity, the real reason that your messaging can feel stagnant and how to shift it to match the the person, the woman, the leader that you are today, and the surprising power of self trust, clarity through action and unapologetic presence. And most importantly, what does that actually mean in the tangible sense and how it relates to your growth, your legacy in your business. So if you have been navigating a season like so many of my clients that is filled with transition, with recalibration, with quiet evolution, with knowing that you've got that message that voice, that mission, that impact that is supposed to get to the next level, then this one is going to land deeply. Because the truth is this success without identity alignment will always feel hollow. No matter what strategy you slap against it, no matter what messaging or content fix you do. And it is never about waiting to become her someday. It is about choosing to be her now. So let's flip the mic drop into this tender, bold and liberating conversation with Cheryl Ann.
- [03:29]
Cheryl Ann Skolnicki
Today's episode is one that I have been so looking forward to sharing with you because my guest is Julie Solomon. Julie is an author, a speaker, a coach, and a host of the Influencer podcast. And you may know her as the author of the book get what yout Want, which is all about breaking through self doubt, rewriting the stories that are holding you back, and finally stepping into your power. But her work has gone well beyond this book, which came out about three years ago. In fact, today her work is really rooted in helping women go from unseen to unstoppable. What she says on her site is that she helps powerful women rise into their next evolution. And I love that. So whether you are building a business or leading a team or just trying to show up more fully in your own life, I think this episode is gonna meet you right where you are. What I love about Julie and I got the chance to meet her earlier this year at a dinner that I hosted and she was seated right across from me at this dinner, is that she is so true in person to what you see about her online. She's so grounded. She is so just powerfully present. Like the way that she shows up is full attention focused on whoever is in front of her. And that really came through in this interview. In this conversation we talk about everything from owning your origin story to being able to find clarity through action, really about what it is that you want, and then learning how to really embody that future version of yourself without shrinking back into your past. So I think you're going to love this, especially if you are somebody who is working to create a vision and then align your day to day life with that vision. So, without further ado, let me introduce Julie Solomon. So Julie, welcome to the brilliant Balance show. Thank you for being here.
- [05:30]
Julie Solomon
Thanks for having me.
- [05:32]
Cheryl Ann Skolnicki
We were just giggling before the recording started about this is like the day for technical challenges and so bear with us y'. All. If anything sounds a little glitchy here and there, we might just let it run because this is how entrepreneurship goes. And. And after 400 episodes, I've seen it all. And so we're just going to roll through with this.
- [05:49]
Julie Solomon
Yes, I know the weather's, the weather's not working with us today, but we're going to, we're going to do our best.
- [05:54]
Cheryl Ann Skolnicki
We're going to do it. So we are going to talk about your book a lot today. And I've talked about it a little bit in the introduction for the listener, but I would love if you would just give us a little bit of your story, sort of, where are you today? What is the work that, how would you describe the work that you're doing in the world and then maybe just like a little few minute trip down memory lane of how you got to this place?
- [06:16]
Julie Solomon
Yeah, so, well, my book came out three years ago, so I actually feel very removed from that phase of life. And it was, it was such a great point in my career where I got to really share the message that I, that I had at that time. And so I feel like in a lot of ways that has foundationally, you know, stayed with me. But also there's been such an evolution just in the last, you know, three years. And then I wrote it like two years before that. So really it's like this five year that, especially for working moms, we know how that goes with life and family and all of that. But really where my specialization lies is in messaging. And we can talk a lot about that today if we want to, and what it means to share your message and even more so, share your voice with the world. But what I really do, which is kind of underneath the surface of all of that, is more what I call identity recalibration. So a lot of times women will come to me because they're like, I need to refine my message or I want to sound better on social media. And that's a part of it. But when we really start to peel the onion back, there's so much to our identity and how we're showing up in the world and how we are leading with that clarity in who we are and what we have to say and why that's important and how that translates to voice, to messaging, to content, to copy, to all of those things. And so what tends to happen a lot of times is when people come into my world, they may think that they need to refine a piece of message or work on some kind of business aspect of online business, because mostly my, the clients that I serve are online entrepreneurs. But what ends up really happening is that they really kind of come back to themselves and reclaim a lot of parts of themselves that they didn't even know might have been lost or muddled in the mix of life and all that comes with that, which I love.
- [08:14]
Cheryl Ann Skolnicki
And I think I just want to touch on this idea that you are bringing up, which is, I wrote this book. Right. You published it three years ago. You wrote it two years before that. It feels like ancient history. And yet what I love about people who have taken the time to put their work into book form and taken the risk of letting it sort of live in perpetuity is that you do find how the themes carry forward in maybe new permutations into new chapters of your life. But the version of you that, like, had that insight and the courage to put that work on paper, I hope it's gratifying to know that it's still serving people, that they're still discovering it for the first time. It's new to them. Right. And I think I get this way, even with old podcast episodes, I'm like, oh, my God, I'm so sick of talking about that. And yet, when someone's discovering it for the first time, it's still applicable. Those ideas are kind of evergreen, and I love that for you and for me and for all of us who are, like, having the courage to put this work out in the world.
- [09:06]
Julie Solomon
Yeah. You know, I think that I was just talking to somebody else earlier today. I had someone yesterday post a page of the book, you know, and I got to share it. And even though I feel like from my end. That was a long time ago, what's really neat about. If you're. If you're just learning about me for the first time today or just hearing about my book for the first time today, the evolution of who I am just kind of deepens the concepts that are in that book. And so the conversations that can be had now are actually far. The depth and the resonance of them are going to be far greater than they would have been even when I was doing book promo, you know, three years ago.
- [09:42]
Cheryl Ann Skolnicki
That's right. And I think, you know, so the. The idea behind the book of getting what you want really does start with knowing who you are. And. And so I think there is this piece where it transcends to message. If you're doing personal branding work, your message is really about being able to communicate who you are and what you are able to bring into the world, which ultimately is how you end up getting what you want. Right. So they're all going to knit together really beautifully here in a way that I just kind of Love. So let's start there. You open the book with the idea that getting what you want really starts with getting honest. And I think that this is something that's so hard for women who are maybe still hiding parts of themselves away or wanting to polish it up and present a maybe, you know, shinier version of ourselves than what is actually who we are. So why is that the first step? Why is getting honest the beginning, and why is it so hard for us to do?
- [10:35]
Julie Solomon
Yeah, I mean, you can't get what you want if you don't know what you want. And period. Period. And also a lot of times, I feel like because of so many different things, whether it's worthiness or lack of confidence, beliefs in ourselves, scarcity, mindset, pleasing other people in our lives and in our family structures, we tend to dim or hide those aspects of what it is that we really want. We don't even really allow ourselves to fully ask what that is, which then can lead to people thinking that they either don't know how to get what they want, or they're not worthy of getting what they want. And so one of the steps of being radically honest with yourself, to figure this out, is if you don't think you know what it is that you want, you definitely know what it is that you don't want. And so start there. And like. And that's really where that honesty piece comes in. Like, you. You can be. If you can be radically honest with what no longer serves you, what no longer fits in your life, who no longer fits in your life.
- [11:32]
Cheryl Ann Skolnicki
The.
- [11:33]
Julie Solomon
The people, the places, the things that you are starting to outgrow. The mindset, the belief systems, the old versions of you that might have gotten you here, but they're not going to get you there to where you're going to go. The more that you can be honest of. Of that. And I kind of think about it in this metaphor of, like, you're walking into your closet, and all our ladies here know this because we've all done this, right? We walk into our closet, it's spring cleaning, and we kind of just start to go through and take stock. We're like, okay, okay, that shirt's got a stain on it. That shirt. You know, I haven't worn it in three years. I just did my color analysis, and I don't even wear those colors anymore, so let's get rid of that. You know, it's like we're. We're constantly kind of going through purging and archiving. We need to do the same thing. With our own aspects of our values, our beliefs, our what it is that we want out of life, who it is that we want to impact and serve our purpose, our passion, our mission, all of that falls into play. And so it's kind of like you need to go into the closet and really take hard stock about what actually fits you. And if you can't be honest about that, like what for sure doesn't fit you anymore. And I think that if we can start there, even if you want to put pen to paper, that's the best step of really starting to take stock of that honesty piece so that you then can take the next steps to, to really the beauty and the serenity that comes from fully giving yourself permission to claim and own what it is that you want.
- [12:49]
Cheryl Ann Skolnicki
I love that hack as a first step because I agree with you. In my experience, it is easier for people to say not this than to really declare this, this is what I want. It's easier to sort of look at your current circumstances and say, I can tell you what I don't like about this version of my life. The clarity of vision is so hard to get to clarity of who we are and what we want. And I always wonder if it's because there are like infinite possibilities right when we're moving in the direction of what we do want. It could be anything. When we're saying not this, we're sort of considering our current circumstances. How do you think that plays in to the, to the ease of the, the latter process?
- [13:26]
Julie Solomon
I think this is where trust really needs to come in because you're right there. We are so infinite in the possibilities of all the things that we could create, all the choices and opportunities that could come our way, the, the, the people that we're going to meet and how that shapes choice and opportunities. And so if there is never a limit to that, it's not even really so much so worrying about I'm not going to be able to do it all or I'm going to miss something that's meant for me. And it's really about trusting with the tools that I have today, what can I start actively working towards that is just going to get me that one step closer to then other things are going to be revealed because we are so limited in our mindset of what we actually think is possible for us that when we have that self trust and when, when we can trust and depending on your walk, you know, if you are a woman of faith or you know, if you're a spiritual person, depending on what you believe, whether that's God or a higher power or whatever that is for you, the more that you can lean in and trust in that thing that is greater than you to hold you just to that next step. I'm not saying you've got to take the leap from one canyon to the next, but can you just take that next one step and let more be revealed as it comes through? That is when you'll start to see that the possib that might have felt too big or you couldn't even. You couldn't even fathom wrapping your own brain around them at the time really do start to come to fruition. And so the things that might have once felt limitless or limited really start to unravel as these realistic parts in your life. And I've seen it happen over and over again in my own life and in so many of the lives of the women that I get to work with as well.
- [15:08]
Cheryl Ann Skolnicki
It's so inspiring when it does, right. When you see someone who takes that first first step and it reveals like the next curve in the road, and then they can take the next and the next after that. You've. I've heard you say that clarity isn't something you find, it's something you create. And I love that. We work a lot on clarity with women within Brilliant Balance. And I think it's an overwhelming word. Everyone knows they want it, but the process of how you get it can be overwhelming. And you've just given a couple of really clear strategies to help make it tangible, which is so fascinating. One of the things, Julie, that I think gets in the way sometimes of that clarity is kind of our past, like the limitations that we think are rooted in what we've already done that can block us from what we might be able to do in the future. And you teach that we all carry hidden origin stories that inform our choices. Can you explain what an origin story is and how this. How it might be running the show without us even knowing it?
- [16:06]
Julie Solomon
Yeah. So, I mean, an origin story is really. It's the story of our origin. It's the things that happened earlier in our lives or the belief systems or the people that we were around, or how we were raised, you know, money that we had or didn't have, and how that really shapes the decisions that we choose to believe in and act upon today. And so we all have an origin story. And, you know, it's. It's interesting because it's important to know your origin story because this is part of the awareness piece. And this is part of the piece of you getting honest with yourself. You can't really go where you're meant to go if you don't kind of know where you came from and what makes you tick and, and why you may think and feel the way that you do. Because part of getting what you want also lends to taking radical responsibility and accountability for every choice that you do have control over in your life. There's so much that we don't have control over.
- [17:01]
Cheryl Ann Skolnicki
Right?
- [17:02]
Julie Solomon
You have control over what we think, what we believe and how we feel. Period. End of story. Even with all of these external things that come, we still have it. We still have agency over those three things because they all come from here and they all come from here. The mind and the heart.
- [17:19]
Cheryl Ann Skolnicki
Yes.
- [17:19]
Julie Solomon
And so if that is true, we kind of have to have an idea about, well, what did shape my thoughts, my feelings, my belief systems? And are these, now that I'm an adult, are these beliefs actually mine or are they something that I adopted or inherited from some old past story that actually, if I go into my closet, I see no longer fits me anymore? And so it's really important to get clear on that so we can have the awareness to really just accept, okay, this pattern or this theme or this thing that I don't like about myself or that I don't like, that I do, or I react in this certain way, or I'm fearful about this, it's actually happening due to the origin of a story that I have attached and labeled myself to. And so if that is true, then guess what you can do? You can write, rewrite your story and you can change the script. And when you change the script, the script changes and all the players in the script changes and the storylines changes. But you have to be kind of clear on where you came from first to get clear on that and then from there. Cheryl Ann I love to like, close the door on the past.
- [18:28]
Cheryl Ann Skolnicki
Yes.
- [18:28]
Julie Solomon
I feel that so many people live in the past. They're so past focused. I mean, even as a country, right? It's like we love history and it's like, let's like read about the past and read. And it's like, it's important because that saying, you don't want history to always repeat itself. So it's important to kind of be aware and understand where we came from and what makes us tick. But I want to be more present focused and more future minded. I want to be more stepping into the version of my future self and the version of my higher self than this past version of me that I might have needed to get me here. But again, it's not going to serve me where I'm going. And so, as aware as I love to be about the origin story and to identify it and claim it so you can overcome it, I also feel that there's a time that you kind of have to close that door and make the distinct decision that you're no longer living by past beliefs, past failures, past fears, past traumas, and you're moving forward with the information that you now have to make better and more informed decisions to get what you want. One of the most underestimated parts of running a business the invisible weight. All the decisions you make behind the scenes, from tech to tools to templates, can drain your creativity fast. I remember hitting a wall because I was spending more time on backend logistics than actually coaching and creating. That's when I realized I needed a smarter system and a system that I love. Shopify Shopify is trusted by millions of business owners worldwide and handles everything from your storefront design to product descriptions and even email campaigns. The built in AI literally helps you market and sell so you can focus on the work that actually lights you up. Turn your big business idea into Start selling today for just $1 a month at shopify.com influencer if you're ready to sell, you're ready to Shopify. Turn your big business idea into With Shopify on your side, sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify.cominfluencer Go to shopify.cominfluencer shopify.cominfluencer There is so much unpredictability in business right now. AI shifts, algorithm changes, rising ad costs. It can literally feel like everything is changing except your results. And that's why your growth has to be intentional. For me and my clients, the key has been simplifying our backend systems and one tool that can help you with that is Constant Contact. Constant Contact is a full digital marketing platform built for small businesses. Instead of juggling six different tools for your email, event, Social and Legion, this does it all. You can launch a campaign, schedule, social posts, host an event, even build a landing page and see all the results in one dashboard. You also get built in automation, AI enhanced tools and real time reporting. So your marketing is not just easier, it's smarter. Get a free 30 day trial when you go to constant contact.com try constant contact free for 30 days at constant contact.com constant contact.com yeah, and this this.
- [21:39]
Cheryl Ann Skolnicki
Might be as I heard you explain that where it crosses over into your current work around messaging. And if I think about it, not just for business owners or online entrepreneurs, but really for anyone who wants to own their own narrative. Think about in a world today where we all have a LinkedIn profile, we have a personal brand, whether we have our own company that we're monetizing behind that or not, there's something that we stand for, something we want to be known for. Even, like in our community, communities, in our families, there are these pieces of identity that really, I think if we want to have the lives that we really intend to have and that we're meant to have, we have to shape that narrative and be able to create messaging. Right. Which is not language that people who are not entrepreneurs think about. Wait, I promise you, listeners today, if you're an entrepreneur, you think about messaging all the time. And if you're not, you're like, what is she talking about? Messaging. But this is where it's going to get really interesting, because Julie's work centers in entrepreneurs, and yet I think it has crossover to all of us who are trying to find the message that we're taking out into the world. Think about what you're teaching your children, what you're standing up for in your community, what you are kind of place putting your mark on in your workplace. And so, Julie, can you tie that thread for us from like, okay, something got us here, our origin story, and now we know what we want. We're kind of making that distinction of what we want in order to get it, I suspect, expect our message is going to come into play. Can you tie that thread for us?
- [23:03]
Julie Solomon
Yeah. So really, message is from a. From a deeper level. It is. It is your presence, and it is how you embody the presence of who you are. And so what I mean by that is how you lead yourself, how you lead your family, how you lead in the workforce, how you lead your team, how you lead your community, and really being a mirror of that to other women who also want that. So this is where the more that we embody our presence and really the integrity of who we are, then the way that we articulate that embodiment and that presence is through our message. And that is where our. Our presence really is the product and our movement becomes the message. How we move through the world, how we move with people, our thoughts and our beliefs, and we have something that we want to share and say. And this is how we do that. And so a lot of times where messaging can get muddy is when it's not rooted in that true embodiment piece, when it's not rooted in your own integrity and your own authenticity.
- [24:07]
Cheryl Ann Skolnicki
I see.
- [24:08]
Julie Solomon
And it can a lot of times get very. Me too. Yes. And conceptualize or you'll see this person doing this and you're like, oh, maybe that's. That's how I need to sound or how I think or how I need to lead or how I need a parent. Without really, truly tapping into yourself first. And the more that you can really own who you are. You know, you say what you mean and mean what you say, and you don't say it mean, and you just own that. You know, with every. With every bit of you. That is actually the ripple effect in the mirror that. That magnate people to you. So it's, you know, that's when you'll start to hear people say things like, I don't know what it is about Cheryl Ann, but I want what she has. Like what I make up and tell myself that she has. Because the way that she holds herself, the way that she embod the room that she's in, the way that she leads, the way that you can see the light radiating from her. Like, I. I want that. Like, what is that? I want to tap into that. And that is what makes you a more magnetic leader, a more magnetic parent, a more magnetic member of your community. And the way that we articulate that is through messaging. So that can be through writing, that can be through speaking, that could even be through visual. Visual messaging. You know, what does your actual, you know, if you have a brand look like, what does your home look like? You know, what is. What does your office look like? I mean, all of that dictates, informs a message. Message is just a perception of what it is that you throw out to people. And as long as it is corralled mostly to where you want it to be, which hopefully that is rooted again in your. And your embodiment and your. It's right, it better be, then you're good. But most of the time it's not. And it's not because people don't want to be authentic or they're living out of integrity. But a lot of times we get so lost in, you know, the comparison.
- [26:04]
Cheryl Ann Skolnicki
Absolutely.
- [26:05]
Julie Solomon
What other people are doing or she. She looks, acts and. And presents herself a certain way. And that seems to be working for her. So maybe I need to kind of replicate that instead of really rooting into who we are and what we have to say and, and how we get that out into the world. So that's why when women come to me, what I love when they say is, like, the strategy is great, Julie. The strategy's always, always great. You're great with strategy. But what really moved me was to see how you just unapologetically owned who you are as a mother, as a leader, as a woman. You unapologetically owned what believe in, and you shared that with the world. Even if people were gonna judge you for it or roll their eyes or have their thoughts and feelings about it, you, who you truly were. And that gave me permission to do the same thing. So that's what I mean about that. Identity recalibration.
- [26:55]
Cheryl Ann Skolnicki
Yeah, it's so. It's such rich territory. You've said, like, a book's worth of stuff in that last blurb. I think I want everybody to, like, catch your breath on what she just said, because it's easy to get lost in the buzzwords around authenticity and being yourself. And, you know, we've all heard it a thousand times. But there's real gold in what Julie just shared. Because if you think about this, messaging is the projection of your presence. Right? That's what I heard. That's my translation of what you said. It's like we all have a personal presence. How are we projecting that so that other people see it? They're going to hear us. They're going to, like, in an audible way. They'll hear our voices. They'll see the words. We write in a variety of formats. Whether that's at work or if you're an entrepreneur, it might be more, might be broader than that. It could be the way that your words are translated through. Not even your words, but your ideas are translated through imagery. I loved how you said your home, your office, your spaces, what you wear. It's all a reflection of, like, are you being you? And when we start to just be little cookie cutters, like, and look exactly like everyone else, and there's no personal style, there's no sense of, like, individuality, because we're so scared that if we stand out, we're going to get, like, whacked down. I think we lose all of the magic of this, and I am just as guilty of doing it as every other person on the planet. Right? We look around, we benchmark, and we think, okay, that's the winning model. We'll do it just like that. So here's something I think about often. I wonder how you think about this. I think about celebrity culture and just looking for the seeds of an idea, maybe in people we all would recognize like, what differentiates them? What's different about their message, their Persona that we can all see? And I was just thinking, because, you know, these are my. Can I'm going to say older people because that's where I live here. But I was thinking about, like, Jennifer Amiston, Jennifer Garner, and Reese Witherspoon, right? There are three people who arguably are insanely successful female actresses, right? Like insanely successful. And yet if you had to think about things, you know, about them that make them quirky or different or like, personal hobbies that they have or little things that are, like, ownable. Can you sit here now and be like, oh, yeah, I can tell you things about all three of them that are, like, unique to them that you don't see all three of them doing. Can you like. Yeah, name something.
- [29:12]
Julie Solomon
I'll give you a couple. Well, what is so fascinating too, though, is that we can do that when we don't even know these people. Don't know them, right? Which then goes back to what I was saying about. It's all the perception, because it's all a mirror. It's all the perception that you make up and tell yourself that these three women that you perceive to be high integrity, highly qualified, beautiful, successful, successful, all the things that you want, right? So you're looking outside, looking in, and you're like this quirky thing, this fun thing, this thing that makes her imperfect, but she's still radiating and shining. This thing I love about her, I want, what I want, that I'm magneting to, that I'm gravitating to that. And it's because it's really meant. There's a saying called if you spot it, you got it there. It's really meant to show you a mirror of what you are already capable of and what you already have with inside you that you're wanting to expand more into. And so that's really what I see. It's like whether it's the quirky thing or, you know, whatever that is gravitating you towards these people, it is that what I really get hooked on is like, okay, what are you making up and telling yourself that that person has, Right? Because that's going to allow you to drop more into what it is that you want that's already inside you. If it wasn't inside you, you wouldn't see it in other people, good or bad. You can also do this with what you're wanting to shed, right? Because it's all a reflection in a mirror of either what you no longer want or what you're wanting to lean more into. So a saying that I have that I love, because it's not even more just about being me. It's about being the highest version of me. When I think about the highest, most, purest, most loving version of me that God could create in God's image, the highest version of me, that's who I want to be. Like, I want to in my life, knowing that I did everything that I could possibly do in my little tiny human body to become the version of me in God's image. And so if that's the case, I talk about, like, my. The future self, and I want to be her now. So those are the three words that I'll say a lot. Like, when I'm having a moment of confusion, of lack of confidence, when I. When I don't have the answers to something, when I'm. You know, I was just on a phone call earlier today with my contractor because we're renovating our house, and we had to talk about, like, big money stuff. And it's not always, like, easy conversations, but I literally said to myself before I got on the phone, be her now. Like, what would the highest version of Julie that felt so financially clear and sovereign, what would she say in this conversation? How would she hold herself? And also how would she hold and respect the other person on the other end of that conversation? Even if this is not gonna be the easiest conversation in the world to have because of my origin story around money, right? So it's like I have to step into and be her now and lead with that. So it's not just the woman I am today, but it's really the highest version of who I am that I am always trying to get to become.
- [32:16]
Cheryl Ann Skolnicki
That is. That is probably gonna title this episode for me. So Be her now is such a. It's one of those things you want to, like, put on a sticky note and keep it in front of you. Right? I can see how that guides decisions and choices for you, moment by moment, throughout your day, really connecting to your future self and saying, what would she do? And how do I embody that today? What am I waiting for? In other words, I love that because.
- [32:40]
Julie Solomon
We really are our future self. It's just we have our own limitations of what we think and feel about our own capabilities that we have to kind of trick the mind. This is where some people may call it, fake it till you make it. I love to say, act as if. Act as if, you know, act as if you've already got the promotion act as if you already have the relationship. Act as if you already have the house. Act as if you already have whatever it is that you're wanting and be in this moment how you would be if those things were already a reality.
- [33:08]
Cheryl Ann Skolnicki
And what's fascinating about that, as you say it, is that it feels like it's where you can align this idea of projection of presence, like your message, with where you're going. You're starting to telegraph it before you're even there. So you essentially, like, close the gap between where you are and where you want to be. And that is so much of what so many of our listeners are trying to do. Right. I have a vision. It's bigger than where I am today. There's definitely something more here for me. I can't quite touch it, but those words are really a shortcut, like a little bit of a. A cheat code, right?
- [33:43]
Julie Solomon
Yeah. That's where the strategy comes in.
- [33:45]
Cheryl Ann Skolnicki
Love it. Yeah.
- [33:46]
Julie Solomon
Yeah. And that's some of the. Yeah. Some of the strategies that I teach in messaging. Like, for example, most people, especially in the entrepreneur space, we've heard this saying of, like, you're here to, to serve a former version of yourself, and so you need to create offers and messaging and stuff to support a former. Yeah. Version of yourself. I don't necessarily agree with that. I believe that I am here to support a future version of myself because I'm also here to support the future version of myself. So if I'm, if I'm always trying to support a past version, again, we're opening the door to the past. And I'm supposed to serve a past version of myself. What that ends up doing is it ends up curtailing the messaging and the marketing and the offers to actually serve a version of you that has already died.
- [34:36]
Cheryl Ann Skolnicki
Yes.
- [34:36]
Julie Solomon
That is no longer exists. And it doesn't mean that those other versions of people out there don't mean.
- [34:42]
Cheryl Ann Skolnicki
Exist and need work.
- [34:43]
Julie Solomon
Right, Right. They're just not meant to be served by you. And so I spent years in my business not wanting to work with newbies, but yet I kept calling in newbies and I'm like, why does this keep happening? Like, I'm a seven figure entrepreneur. It's been years since I was a newbie. I'm so far removed from this. I, you know, I like to help women go from, you know, good to exceptional, not from getting started to good. Like, why do they keep coming into my world? And it was when I really had the realization of, oh, it's because I'm, I'm talking, I'm looking, I'm looking at the rearview mirror and I'm serving me five years ago. So guess what that means that everything is going to be dictated, including the messaging and the offers and the marketing to that former, former version versus when I started to create marketing and messaging, truly for that woman that was going from good to exceptional. That woman that was actually more of a peer and more of a mirror of who I was today and where I was going, everything in my business changed.
- [35:46]
Cheryl Ann Skolnicki
That is really extraordinary. And for the entrepreneurs who are listening, particularly personal brand based entrepreneurs, you have definitely heard that phrase about serving the former version of yourself. And I think there's merit in of course we feel confident looking backwards and saying, was there purpose in that pain? Was there some way I can serve out of the path I've already walked? For sure there is. But what I'll tell you from experience is it gets boring. There's a point where you're like, I am so bored of talking about this thing that I mastered a long time ago.
- [36:18]
Julie Solomon
And it does you and them a disservice, right?
- [36:21]
Cheryl Ann Skolnicki
Because then they feel like they know you're bored, right? So then when you start working with people who are on a fresher edge, they're on a growth trajectory that excites you where you're like, yes, let's go run this leg of the journey together. It, the energy that you bring to that is so transformed, so different.
- [36:38]
Julie Solomon
And it, and it's because too, in, in whatever line of work that you do, no matter if you're in corporate America, agency life, if you're an entrepreneur, if you're a stay at home mom and you are the head of the pta, whatever service you're doing, it's not just about what you're giving, but it's also about what, what you receive from it and the energy that that brings. Like you're saying, Cheryl Ann, that if I'm receiving, if this is actually making me have to strengthen a muscle, it's making me kind of stay curious and more open than I, than I have been in a long time. It's kind of keeping my own whistle wet, so to speak, what you're receiving from that is so much greater than just kind of running through the motions of doing things. And that's how for a while I was kind of like gaslighting myself and I was like, can I do this board? I think I can do it. Bored. Yeah, like I can do it bored. And then I was like, you know what this is? This is Not I've stunted my own growth by trying to continue to serve an avatar, a buyer that I'm not meant to serve anymore. And to also speak in a certain way that that person needed to hear that I have far evolved from and outgrown. And there's only so much of that that you can do bored before you actually feel very emotionally bankrupt and just completely uninspired. And then that's when sometimes we all go through the existential crisis of like, am I even supposed to be doing this?
- [38:04]
Cheryl Ann Skolnicki
I'm gonna burn this down, right?
- [38:05]
Julie Solomon
I'm gonna burn it. Did people even care?
- [38:07]
Cheryl Ann Skolnicki
Like, right, right.
- [38:08]
Julie Solomon
Am I. Am I crazy?
- [38:09]
Cheryl Ann Skolnicki
And I think there, the entrepreneurial side of that is it's antithetical to scale, right? If you think about how we're coached as entrepreneurs, it's like, you wanna build something that you can sell forever, and it's. That's what scales. And I think this is a very feminine approach to saying, no. I want to stay curious and service oriented and growing. And I'm going to sort of follow that path and bring along who wants to come along with me. Like, that's a. It's a very different model than preaching sort of what scales. And then I think if you're sitting inside of an organization and you don't run your own business, this still tracks, right? Because this is where you've outgrown the path you're on. You look around and you go, every business thinks I'm a marketer, or everybody thinks I'm an M and a expert. And oh, my God, I don't want to be that anymore. Right? I have done this well to the point where it's all anyone sees me as capable of doing. But I want to go there. I want that other thing. And so this is an invitation to say, you know, apply these same principles that you're hearing Julie teach from to say, what does that look like for you? How are you going to telegraph this version of you where you're going, right. Be her now as you're in your own corporate climb? Because I fundamentally know that it applies in both arenas. I know it does.
- [39:29]
Julie Solomon
And I even think about it when I was like an assistant in corporate America to my boss, that was a big wig, you know, executive publicist at the time. And I remember I was. I. It was like there was something about her. I didn't know what it was, but it's like I wanted that. I was like, I want what she has. And I remember just to trying kind of wanting to model and shape. Even though she had 15 years of experience on me, like her, I wanted her floor to be my ceiling.
- [39:56]
Cheryl Ann Skolnicki
Yeah.
- [39:56]
Julie Solomon
And so it's like, how do I. Like, how do I really work on that and like, use. Use what I. The perception of what I have as her to help me create this identity of what I'm stepping into and who I want to become. And so it. No matter where you are in your journey, there's always a next level.
- [40:15]
Cheryl Ann Skolnicki
Yes.
- [40:15]
Julie Solomon
When I love to use. Whether it's celebrities like you said, Cheryl Ann, or it's somebody that you do know personally, just finding those people that. It's like you've got something that I want to tap into because that's really where the. That's where the big work, I think, happens.
- [40:32]
Cheryl Ann Skolnicki
Amazing. Amazing.
- [40:33]
Julie Solomon
Thank you. As always, thank you so much for joining me today and every week here on the Influencer Podcast. If you're wanting to dive deeper into the topics and discussions that we have here, I would encourage you to head over to juliesolomon.net and sign up for my weekly newsletter. It is in our amazing newsletter community that we are able to really support you on a much larger scale. And I love to do a ton of amazing things that I send inside your inbox every single week. So just head over to juliesolomon.net you'll see a little spot there that you can add your information in and you will get on the list and start receiving all of that good stuff.