Woman of Influence with Julie Solomon
Episode: Don’t Be the Best, Be the Only
Air Date: October 22, 2025
Guest: Derek Warburton

Overview

In this heartfelt, soulful episode, Julie Solomon welcomes her long-time friend Derek Warburton—media mogul, style icon, and community builder—for an intimate conversation on legacy, authentic visibility, and the power of being uniquely yourself. Together, they explore how pain and adversity can be transformed into light, why real influence is rooted in authenticity rather than conformity, and the irreplaceable value of true community. Derek shares his compelling journey from hardship to industry esteem, offering actionable insights and honest truths for leaders ready to elevate their presence and self-worth.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Origins, Trauma, and the Power of Nurture

[03:27 – 08:58]

• Derek reflects on his turbulent upbringing: “Normal childhood, divorce, homelessness and abuse...at that time, being who you were was not accepted…but at the same time, I just powered through. I don't know where my power came from.” (Derek, 05:49)
• Affirmation of feminine power: Derek was “very protected by women”—his understanding of femininity as power defies typical societal scripts: “Despite what society always thinks…I know femininity is power.” (Derek, 10:00)

The Need to Be Seen – From Family Legacies to Covers

[11:19 – 15:02]

• Julie recalls Derek’s drive to be seen, rooted in family: “I want certain people in my family to walk into a grocery store and to pick up a magazine and see me on the cover.” (Julie, 12:49)
• Derek’s vulnerability around emotional eating: “Being overweight has nothing to do with food...it’s mental and emotional. You are feeding something that's missing in you.” (Derek, 13:34)

Healing is Incremental: “One Box at a Time”

[16:29 – 21:35]

• Derek shares a pivotal moment: a harsh comment about his appearance became a catalyst for transformation: “Oh, it broke the fourth wall…literally.” (Derek, 16:29)
• On navigating healing: “When you are trying to deal with every single thing…it's overwhelming. One box at a time.” (Derek, 17:13)
• Radical gratitude and self-worth as daily practices: “Wake up and say, thank you for waking up…You have to look in the mirror and say how much you love yourself, because nobody else, honey, is ever going to tell you that.” (Derek, 18:14)

Complacency vs. Uniqueness: “Don’t Be the Best, Be the Only”

[21:35 – 23:00 & 22:08]

• Julie highlights Derek’s memorable mantra: “Don’t be the best, be the only.”
• Derek elaborates: "I was never like anyone else. And every time I tried, I just epically failed. Then I made a discovery. I don't want to. Why? Because they fit in because they're afraid to be themselves." (Derek, 22:24)

Loyalty, Community, and Making People Matter

[23:51 – 32:40]

• The value of long-standing relationships: “How do you have 25 best friends? Because I keep a friend and they are quality.” (Derek, 23:51)
• Community as power: “When you have people to show up for you, you have power. That’s buying power…when you need people to vote for you…showing up is everything.” (Derek, 26:09)
• Practical advice for networking: “You have to have an offer. 99% of the people in this world are asking you for something…It is so important to walk out there offering.” (Derek, 31:21)

The Honest Friend and the Necessity of Truth-Tellers

[32:48 – 36:13]

• Julie acknowledges Derek’s role as an honest reflector: “You see something in people that most times they don't see in themselves…I think it's also a gift to remember to not just surround yourself with people who are only going to say what makes you feel good.” (Julie, 33:00)
• Derek’s advice for young listeners: “You need to find people in your life that may be vicious, that may really tell you the truth, that kills you…be open to young people to give advice, help. You never know who’s going to be what.” (Derek, 34:04)

Self-Awareness, Evolution, and Breaking Out of the Middle

[36:13 – 38:50]

• On self-awareness: “People get so in it that they forget…they need to look at themselves from the outside. That’s a very difficult, difficult thing. It takes practice.” (Derek, 36:13)
• Embracing destiny: “The middle never works for me because I’m not the middle…if you're in a place where, you know, like, you know, you're this. Of course, none of this is working because you're this.” (Derek, 37:44)

Carrying Legacies, Shifting Narratives—The Anne Heche Story

[39:11 – 48:48]

• Derek speaks candidly about losing close friend Anne Heche: “There were so many misconceptions about her…her heart was just on her sleeve…she didn’t truly heal, and she helped me to heal.” (Derek, 39:41)
• Anne’s advice on diminishing your own light: “People like us just have to shine…we’re taught our whole life that we have to be humble—which is, they want us to be humble so they don’t feel bad about themselves because we’re so great. Facts.” (Derek, 41:45)
• Derek’s media advocacy to shift Anne’s public legacy: “We put [her son’s] tribute out at 3am…by 9 in the morning, it was viral…and in a day her narrative changed and her whole legacy.” (Derek, 48:48)

Community as Legacy & True Success

[49:40 – End]

• The heart of life’s blessings: “If you don't have a community, you're never gonna have a champion, nor do you even have the opportunity to have the honor of being a champion…It is my life's work to be able to give that to people because it's free.” (Derek, 50:05)
• Real wealth: “Anyone I know with a ton of cash don’t care about it because they know what it brings: problems. You just need friends with tons of cash, which is why you need the big community.” (Derek, 51:15)
• Final note on integrity: “Being a fully rounded human being with love and light…also self-worth and not selling your soul for anything. Because at the end of the day, when the lights are out…all there is, is your heart.” (Derek, 51:50)

Notable Quotes

• “Real influence isn’t built in the algorithm. It’s embodied in your identity.” (Julie, 00:29)
• “Don’t be the best, be the only.” (Derek, 22:08)
• “If you’re not seen, how would anyone know?” (Derek, 19:47)
• “One box at a time…when you are trying to deal with every single thing that's wrong in your life, it's so overwhelming.” (Derek, 17:13)
• “When you have people to show up for you, you have power.” (Derek, 26:09)
• “The middle never works for me because I’m not the middle.” (Derek, 37:44)
• “If you don't have a community, you're never gonna have a champion, nor do you even have the opportunity to have the honor of being a champion.” (Derek, 50:05)
• “At the end of the day...all there is is your heart. And that's all we have. And you've got to be able to sleep at night.” (Derek, 51:50)
• “We need champions. Yes, we all need champions, which is why I build communities the way I do.” (Derek, 49:45)

Memorable Moments & Emotional Highlights

• Derek’s heartfelt recounting of Anne Heche’s legacy and the importance of reclaiming her narrative, including mobilizing tributes and a viral media moment. (39:11 – 48:48)
• The candid laughter and realness exchanged over their decade-long friendship, including Derek’s quips about loyalty, social media support, and industry stories. (28:04 – 28:19)
• Julie’s recognition of Derek’s honest, supportive friendship and the necessity of truth-tellers who help us step into greater versions of ourselves. (33:00)

Actionable Takeaways for Listeners

• Embrace what sets you apart: stop seeking to be the best in a crowded field; be the only, even if it means standing alone.
• Develop radical self-worth and practice gratitude daily as the baseline for everything else.
• Invest intentional energy in building and nurturing community—show up, offer value, and foster authentic synergy.
• Seek out—and be—truth-tellers in your circle; growth happens through honest reflection and hard truths.
• Recognize that true legacy rests not in accolades but in meaningful relationships, visibility, and uplifting others.

This episode is a masterclass in magnetic authenticity, community-building, and purposeful legacy. Derek’s vulnerability and Julie’s resonant hosting offer a blueprint for leaders ready to be seen not just for their titles, but for their essence.