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I've learned to hold my boundaries without hardening and to lead without leaking, and to love deeply, but only when and where that reciprocity can flow both ways.

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Welcome to the Influencer podcast. I'm your host, Julie Solomon. If you found yourself here, it means you are ready to unleash the powerful visionary that lives inside you, turning you into an authentic leader who creates influence, impact, and change. Let's get started.

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Hello, my friends, and welcome back to another episode. Today's episode is going to be a little bit more intimate. We are doing solo Q&As, not from a box of DMs, but from the questions that I have gotten asked over, over and over and over again inside my coaching containers, through conversations that I've had with women that listen to this podcast and that I just know you're already holding in your body. And so these are the things that I have been talking about behind the scenes with clients, even with close friends, and honestly, myself. So let's drop in. So a question that I get time and time again, especially with clients, when they first come into my world, is how did I know when it was time to evolve my message or pivot, how I was showing up? And for me, this came really from lived experience. There was a season in my business where everything looked like it was working, but inside, something just felt off. Not broken, but just off. And I didn't know it then, but I was experiencing a very, I think, quiet form of burnout. I was still talking to a version of myself that I had long since outgrown. And I see this now in so many of my clients, too. And it's why I actually, through my own process of shedding this, developed what I now call the Identity Evolution Framework. And it is essentially a way to recalibrate your message and offers to match your current identity, not your past self. But that framework wasn't born from strategy. It was born from the embodiment of doing this. From watching the same pattern over and over, not only myself, but other brilliant women that I would work with just staying too long in a season that no longer fit, still serving the person that they used to be because they hadn't fully claimed who they are now. And what I've realized is that you can be conscious in your business and still lack total awareness. Awareness comes from presence, from stillness, from being willing to notice the pattern without rushing to fix it. So how do you know when it's time to evolve? When your body knows before your brain does? And that happens every single time when the Patterns repeat themselves when what used to feel energizing now feels heavy. You don't need to burn your business down. You need to come back into resonance with your highest self. Not your future, not your former, but who you are now. The next question that I want to talk about is what has been my biggest leadership lesson this year? I mean, honestly, I think that it is realizing that the biggest reasons why so many brilliant women feel stuck, exhausted, or confused in their business really has nothing to do with strategy and everything to do with identity. And my biggest leadership lesson this year has been this. It is now my sacred responsibility to lead from and call women into their highest self. Not their future self, not their past self, not their former self, but the woman they already are underneath the proving, performing, or polishing. And what I've learned, and really I've learned this, I should say, not just through leading clients inside the revenue accelerator, but really watching myself and watching how these clients recalibrate. There was a time when I was still showing up from the identity that I had already outgrown, and it looked like success. But the truth is, if your message is still built around the survival version of you, the one who had to earn it, educate through it, explain herself just to feel credible, that version cannot carry your next level. It won't attract the women that you're actually meant to serve. So I now teach, and that has been the biggest lesson for me this year, is a full recalibration method for just this. But let me say this here because it's super important. When your content, your offers, and your voice are rooted into who you were, you will always feel behind. But when you realign everything to the woman you are now, that is when you become magnetic. And this is the shift that must happen as you grow and evolve, because you don't need another launch plan. You need your message, your offers, the women that you serve to mirror the power you've already stepped into. That's the leadership I'm here for. That's the leadership that my clients are here for, and that's the woman that I'm here to serve. The next question, and I love this question too, is, how do you stay connected to your partner while running a business? Now, I've talked a lot about this with a few close friends of mine about how marriage and business require the same thing, respect for identity. And one of the things that I think I've helped expand one friend in particular into is that healthy partnership isn't about merging into each other. It's about championing each Other's individuality. My husband has his own business, his own world, and we go through seasons. Sometimes his work is front and center, sometimes mine is. That obviously will dictate the dynamic of parenting. But we hold each other to the same question every day. And that really is, are you living on purpose today? Are you honoring what God put you here to do? That's the foundation. And practically speaking, we stay connected through presence, through prayer, through respect and integrity, and through those micro moments of just checking in with each other, through choosing each other, even when I don't want to, even when life is loud. You know how I'm always talking about resonance and marketing? Well, I wanted to go deeper. So I took Daniel Pink's class on sales on Masterclass and it completely shifted how I view selling. Instead of tactics or pressure, it was all about trust, connection, and making people feel seen, which is my love language. And that's exactly why I teach my clients. So learning from him was like the fuel for my next level when I took this class. With Masterclass, you can learn from the best to become your best. For just $10 a month, billed annually, you can get access to over 200 classes across business, leadership, communication, creativity, and so much more. Even with my pack schedule, I love how the Masterclass lessons are short, potent and powerful and very easy to fit in while I'm making tea or getting ready in the morning or driving. And I use it this way to really complement a lot of the work that I am doing in my business, but also outside of it. And you should too, especially if you want to build a business and a life that feels like you. Right now, our listeners get an additional 15 off of any annual membership@masterclass.com SL Influencer. That's 15% off@masterclass.com influencer masterclass.com influencer but I really think that it starts with that mutual respect and a shared vision that's bigger than either of us individually. And that's why your spiritual practice, your leadership, your business in relation to your partner cannot be ships in the night. You have to care enough to have those moments of check in, of seeing one another, of holding space, because that's where the mutual respect truly lies. And next question, and I think I've gotten this one for years, but that is, do you believe in balance? Absolutely not. At least not in the way that it's typically defined. I don't believe in balance, especially like work life balance, but I do believe in rhythms. And that's really why I think I have been able after being a mom of one for 12 years, but a mom of two. I don't experience mom guilt because I really have done the inner work that is required to dismantle the belief that I need to choose between motherhood and ambition and that I need to somehow be magically balanced. I've talked about this before on this podcast, but I do truly believe that being a present loving mother and being a visionary businesswoman are not in conflict. And I think that our society has this really messed up and construed idea around kind of glorifying mom guilt and mom shame. And it's kind of this way that moms can also relate to each other, which I also think can be very toxic. And I think the more that we can really root into, maybe why we're looking for companionship or relatability in that way instead of really rooting into. I may not be able to have it all at once, but I can have it all in different seasons. If I follow the rhythms that's going to get you closer to where you want to be. Some weeks I lead the home. Some weeks I lead the business. Every day I'm always there for my children, but the rhythm is always mine as it needs to be day in and day out. And the rhythm is always different. There are moments of the day that are going to require different rhythms based on the needs of my children, the needs of my partner, of my husband, and my needs. And I can no longer outsource that rhythm to someone else's idea of balance that is wrapped up in this, you know, curated and glorified idea around guilt that's never made sense to me. I don't know how mom guilt is going to somehow make me a better mother. I haven't figured that out yet, so I just don't relate to that. But I do relate to the necessary rhythm and just letting yourself off the hook when it comes to. To balance. Because I don't think that it exists. If you are really showing up fully as a wife, as a mother, and as a business leader, it just. You can't do all at once. It just is what it is. So I have a confession. I have been wearing skims for years now. From their intimates to their sweat sets. I basically live in their sweats every single week. But the Fits Everybody collection, it is my favorite yet. These bras and underwear literally feel like second skin. I have got them in multiple colors. There is just no digging, no pinching, no awkward lines. I'm just going to be real with my women out there. It is just pure softness and stretch that somehow molds to you no matter what. The first time that I tried the Fits Everybody triangle bralette, it was night and day. It's supportive but it's light. It holds me in without squeezing and adding that, you know, fat pocket that can come out. And honestly, it made me want to replace every bra that I own. So, so I did. And don't get me started on the bottoms. I even forget that I'm wearing them because that is how good they are and that is how great they fit. If you haven't tried skims before, do not sleep on them. I recently took my mom to New York on a trip and we went to the skim store and she even found something that worked for her and our bodies are very different. You can start to shop Skims Fit everybody collection@skims.com and after you place your order, be sure to let them know that we sent you select podcast in the survey and be sure to select our show in the dropdown menu that follows. I've always believed that your brand should feel like you visually, energetically, emotionally. But when I first started building my online presence, everything felt clunky and scattered. I wanted beauty and function and that's why I love Shopify. It lets you build a brand that looks exactly how you want it without the chaos. With ready made templates, intuitive design tools and AI that helps with everything from product copy to image polish. Shopify gives you creative control without needing to be a tech expert. And it's trusted by brands from startups to icons. Turn your big business idea into With Shopify on your side, sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify.cominfluencer. go to shopify.cominfluencer shopify.cominfluencer Next question. How has your relationship with your body evolved? Oh, I mean I'm 41 years old, so like so much. I, I used to treat my body like some kind of brand extension. Like she needed to look a certain way in order for me to be taken seriously or to feel seen. I've had so many issues with my body image over the years. I mean I used to do just really toxic stuff in my 20s with food, with my relationship with food. I have, you know, a bit of a sugar. I love sugar is what I'll say. A bit of a, I'm saying that loosely but sugar addiction. And in my 20s, I, I would like remember eating. This is a food disorder. I would eat donuts or some kind of cookies or some kind of Sweet thing that I shouldn't be eating, but instead of swallowing it, I would like spit it out before I, it was, it was like my twisted way of letting me consume this thing. And man, it took a lot of work in my 30s around my self worth and my self image and why so much of my self worth and my self image was tied to my body. But I will say, you know, going having birth twice, given birth to both of my children. One, being a home birthday really allowed a coming home for me with my body and really understanding even the tacticals of hormones and how that, how that's playing a role in my body. Incorporating hormone replacement therapy when I turned 40, incorporating workouts that actually worked for me. You know, I'm no longer do the high intensity trainings, they just don't work for me. I'm a pilates girl. And just honoring that because in the past, in my 20s and in my early 30s, 30s, I would force these really aggressive workouts that just didn't work for me. And really listening to my body, being in tune with my body, listening to what my body wants to eat, reprogramming my thoughts and my beliefs around food and how that shaped a very toxic relationship that I had with my body allowed me to change the relationship with my strength, levels of inflammation that I used to carry, nervous system regulation. But more than that, it changed how safe I feel inside of myself because that is what my highest self wants. My highest self is no longer afraid to be seen. My highest self is no longer ashamed of feeling good in her body, of honoring her body, of giving praise to her body. My body is the temple. And I honor that now in a way that I just didn't know how to do in my 20s. And I think that, you know, I've left my, I've let myself off the hook with that. But that has affected everything. It's affected my photo shoots, my podcast, my visibility, my work compared to 10 years ago, like, are you kidding? I don't second guess as much. I don't perform approval. I don't care in that way because I care in the real way and I feel like me. And that's made all the difference. So the next question, and this is a good one, is what does your relationship with God look like right now? This is a beautiful question. Faith has always been my anchor, even when I didn't realize it. For context of my background, I was raised in a Christian home. I went to church, learned the language, and though my practice with that has evolved, my connection to God never Left. Even in seasons of confusion or loss or reinvention, I never felt truly alone. I always knew that there was something far greater than me that was guiding me. And if I could just be still and listen and just ask God to show me and guide me and reveal to me the next steps, I would be okay. Because I always knew that there was something greater holding me. And I. I do give my upbringing all of the credit for that. I. I give the fact that I just learned to believe in that unwavering faith at a young age. And only recently have I realized that it's kind of my secret superpower. That clarity, that trust, that grounding in something eternal for me, not for everybody, but for me. And I've loved seeing faith become more visible again. You know, I was just cracking up with a friend of mine. I was like, you know, God is cool again. You know, like, it's.