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- [00:00]
Julie Solomon
It is not the product, the service, the coach, the education, the solution, quote unquote, that is necessarily bad or evil or the problem. It's the intention of the why and making sure that our side of the street is clean with that first before we go looking for the solutions. Welcome to the Influencer Podcast. I'm your host, Julie Solomon. If you found yourself here, it means you are ready to unleash the powerful visionary that lives inside you, turning you into an authentic leader who creates influence, impact and change.
- [00:38]
Celine DaCosta
Let's get started.
- [00:44]
Julie Solomon
Hello, my friends, and welcome back another episode of the Influencer podcast today. I have the incredible Celine DaCosta on the podcast today, and let me tell you, this conversation was incredible. I got to meet Celine several years ago when I was launching my book get what yout Want. She was a contributor at Forbes at the time time and wrote my article for Forbes that I had when my book launched. But that, my friends, is honestly the least impressive thing about this woman. Celine has gone on to really understand what it means to hone and craft the art of storytelling, and she is giving us so many powerful tidbits today on how to really tap in and tune in to your divine storyteller essence, how to really bring that to life when you message and market and share your gifts to the world. This is truly a podcast that is deep, insightful, impactful, and you are not going to want to miss this conversation. So with that, my friends, let's get started. Hi, Celine.
- [01:45]
Celine DaCosta
Hi, Julie.
- [01:46]
Julie Solomon
It's so good to have you here.
- [01:48]
Celine DaCosta
It's been a long time coming.
- [01:49]
Julie Solomon
It has been a long time coming. I know. I feel like I've gone through so many iterations of like doing guest interviews and then taking a break and then doing them again. And I know I've wanted to have you on the podcast for a long time. And we're here. So thank you for being here when.
- [02:03]
Celine DaCosta
The time is ripe.
- [02:05]
Julie Solomon
I know it's so good and I know that now is the time that it was meant to happen. So with that to say, I would love to kick off our conversation with a question. And that question is, what does influence mean to you?
- [02:22]
Celine DaCosta
What influence means to me is the ability to inspire different perspective, a more elevated behavior, thought or feeling through my own embodiment of what that can look like.
- [02:43]
Julie Solomon
Beautiful. How has that definition for you shaped the way that you show up online and maybe even changed over your years of showing up and serving in the different arenas that you do?
- [03:03]
Celine DaCosta
So I've been in this game since 2016. That's when I first started, you know, posting, I guess you could say growing my Instagram, Facebook, all the accounts. And when I first began this, you know, influencing stuff, I was in my mid-20s and I remember feeling this really excited to have the opportunity to have a platform where I could speak to many people and they would listen to me. Like, to me that was just the bee's knees. And I didn't really think farther than that. And so when I got started, I remembered that the main excitement was wait, hold on, so I can share a story. And tons of people read that story and, and then they like respond to it and, and they like it and then they want more like what? What do you mean? And I remember having a very childlike, naive approach to it. And of course, you know, not gonna lie, there was also an ego gratification that came with it of, oh wow, like look at all these people that are commenting and then they're liking these and then the next post they like it and then I have more followers and then there's more likes and then there's more comments. And there was definitely an element of desiring to have a certain level of validation and acknowledgement and approval by other people. And. But even though there was a shadow element to this, I still feel in my core that can very much connect to the purity of that, that excitement of being able to share something and know that someone on the other side of the world could be touched by it.
- [04:52]
Julie Solomon
That's so good. Yes, go ahead.
- [04:57]
Celine DaCosta
And as I grew, you know, I started to. I was a Forbes columnist for six years and so it snowballed quite quickly, you know, that the quote unquote influence. I started growing my following, being featured in big podcasts and like the media, like things started to get real serious in a way that even my 20 something year old self was like, wait, what's happening? Like, ah, you know, and, and I kind of like snowballed and fell into deeper and deeper levels of influencing and all the while just attempting to balance these different polarities within myself of one hand, one part of me loving the recognition, wanting the recognition, feeling like some sort of ego itch being scratched from the recognition. And then the other part, like truly, truly wanting to make a difference and put a message out there that could support and change people's lives. And for many years I oscillated between, between the two, all the while realizing that there's some, there's some consequences also to, to being in the public eye. You know, when, when shit hits the fan when, when Things are not comfortable when conversations are sticky and complex. Navigate how do I want to show up? Do I want to chime in? Do I not want to chime in? And so it's been quite a exciting, fun and tumultuous journey. And ultimately where I'm with it now is that I hid a place within myself, most likely because of my own personal healing work and not wanting to be codependent on my social media platforms and not wanting to to. To have my worth be defined by what collective groups of people think of me or don't think of me. I hit a point within myself where the blue check mark, the, the numbers, the vanity metrics, they stopped mattering. And where I find myself now is is with a deep yearning and desire to create more influence as I defined it in in my life through the act of my own embodiment and to really be able to impact people's lives and support the collective in the best way that I can, but without abandoning myself, like putting myself, my self care, my self love at the forefront. And it hits really differently when it's approached that way.
- [07:26]
Julie Solomon
If you are still listening to this podcast episode, it's probably because your social content isn't hitting the sales goals that you know that you're capable of achieving. It just doesn't feel easy. You're likely frustrated because while sales are happening for you, they aren't growing at the level you know they could be. You see others in your niche skyrocketing and you're wondering why your sales aren't reflecting the brilliance that you bring to the table. And let's just be honest, not from a place of comparison, but from a place of clarity. You know you have more expertise than most people in your space. You know the transformation you provide is second to none. So why aren't more people buying your offers after consuming your content? Nine times out of ten, the problem isn't your pricing or your offer. It's a gap in your messaging. The way you communicate with your audience is the difference between ideal clients buying from you every single day or your sales remaining static for months. The truth is, when you learn how to shift and refine your messaging, you'll have clients reaching out to work with you directly from the content you're already creating without needing constant sales calls, posting every day, or chasing after the next viral trend. This is exactly what I cover inside the Brand Accelerator, which you get lifetime access to, helping you turn your content into a magnet for your ideal clients so your sales can finally reflect the expertise and transformation you Offer. Let's turn your messaging into a powerful sales and brand visibility tool. Ready to get started? You can join me at juliesolomon.net tv b a yeah, this is so good. And it's. It leads us right into this really important conversation that you and I are going to get to have today that I think is needed. And you're going to be the best person to lead us into this very real and reflective conversation, and that is with your own experience, because I know that you are not the only person on the planet who has felt that way. I myself can relate and I know that there's so many that can relate. And I'm even getting the hit that there are people listening to this podcast right now that still may be kind of in that stage, you know, of that they're. They have this deeper voice, if you will, that's like, yeah, I, you know, I do want to create impact and, and I do want to help someone. I do want to be of service. And I'm also, like, kind of getting off on this ego trip of finally being heard and seen because maybe when I was little, I was told not to be heard and seen or, you know, whatever the wound may be. And so I would love for you to just start to navigate us through how the landscape of social media, just from your lens, from your experience, from, you know, the work that you have done and what you've seen and shared, the world that we're kind of in right now with social media when it comes to what you just shared, and how should we be tapping more into the awareness of what you shared so we don't get lost in the chaos?
- [10:53]
Celine DaCosta
As I always say, a large following does not equal a lot of money. Beyond just having a large audience or thousands of followers, what is most important is the relationships that you build with them. And I know I talk a lot about that on this podcast. And there really is no better way to build community around your audience while earning reliable recurring revenue than Memberful. Whether you're a business coach, whether you're a fitness instructor, a family blogger, Memberful is amazing as it lets you offer membership perks and exclusive content to your loyal followers, giving you full control over who has access to things like your blogs, newsletters, online courses, podcasts, private community chats, and so much more. What I love about Memberful is it's so easy to set up and manage your membership program with their platform. There is no tech expertise required. If you are anything like me, I am not tech savvy, so I need so Much of it done for me and Memberful does that you can easily create multiple membership tiers and payment options that cater to different audience segments that you may have to really maximize your revenue potential. What I also love about it is that it integrates with all the tools so many of us already use, like WordPress, ConvertKit, Learndash and so many more. So you can start monetizing your content without changing any of the existing workflows.
- [12:23]
Julie Solomon
Or softwares that you use.
- [12:25]
Celine DaCosta
You can start growing your audience today into a thriving community and membership business@memberful.com Julie that's M E M B E R F U L.com Julie I'm happy.
- [12:42]
You'Re opening up this conversation about social media because I have been sitting on this for a very long time. I've built my, you know, quote unquote following on social media. I built so much of my business on social media. I've generated so much revenue from social media. So I want to, you know, as I go deeper into this conversation, I want a disclaimer that I'm also in this. And so for whoever's listening, I'm not speaking to you as somebody who's figured it all out and is like standing on a pedestal telling you how to do social media or what I think, you know, my word is the law or anything like that. It's a conversation that needs to be had and I'm navigating it very much imperfectly. So just wanted to, to, to point that out so you know, getting real open, real vulnerable here. I've really struggled with social media in the past year and a half in tandem with doing this healing work that, that I've been speaking into because on one hand this, you know, platform, and I'm going to refer to social media as a platform and we can insert Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, whatever the things, but I'll just speak to it generally. This, this platform has been an amazing gift for us to express ourselves, for us to step outside the, our everyday reality. You know, it's, it's, it's a way where somebody who is in rural Africa can access knowledge from Korea, from, you know, from Canada and, and really be able to expose ourselves to all these different perspectives and, and ways of being. For me personally, it's been an incredible tool that has allowed me to meet really amazing people. Including yourself, Julie. It's helped me meet incredible humans around the world. It's been incredible for networking, it's been incredible as a tool for self expression, for connecting people, for growing my business. For receiving clients and all that jazz. So in many ways I have a lot of reverence and respect for. For this ability that we now have to. To share ourselves with the world in with very little barrier to entry. Now, as with anything in life, anything that has a light also has a shadow. And it's very important to recognize the shadow side of everything and vice versa, so that we can maintain our sense of balance and harmony as we engage with anything. Because anything in excess is going to be unhealthy. And what I've noticed from the influencer perspective and my experience being in this for so many years and being so involved and entangled with this platform has been that in many ways it becomes a tunnel of limited consensual reality. And what I mean by that is we get to this place where we only follow the people who reaffirm our belief systems or the people that we look up to, which can be healthy, but can sometimes be unhealthy because it can be people that we look up to and get triggered by their success every time we scroll. And what we create in this little app, whichever app you use, is this. This tool of consumption and distraction that, number one, consumes the most precious asset we have on this planet, which is our conscious awareness, our attention, and not only that, but bottles it into the box of what we. What our mind believes to be true about life. And I have found a very toxic side to this platform in, especially in the. You know, I'm going to speak to the online coaching industry because that's the industry I'm in. I'm sure this applies to other industries, but I can only speak from my direct experience where we begin to. What I've noticed is a lot of people losing themselves to how is someone else doing the thing? What is this person? You know, we've created this, like, mythology that the successful coach is the one that makes the 100k months every time, celebrate it with, you know, balloons, whatever, talk about your successes just obnoxiously and call it shameless, call it whatever, like, make it an anthem. And there's all these different colors and spectrums, but basically it's almost becoming a caricature of itself at this point. And it's creating a lot of unconscious brainwashing collectively in people who are losing touch with themselves and what it is that they really want and instead defaulting to what they think they should have based on what they're noticing is happening. That tunnel consensual reality. And so there is a loss of connection to self. There's a loss of connection to what our purpose really is on a soul level. And there's a loss of connection to how is it that we as individuals are meant to build the dream that we're building into being as opposed to what's the standard that's been created based on the bubble that we're in and how do we match that standard, which is not what you're here to do as a unique self expressed soul, you're here to find your own path, your own way. And these are all different forms of expressions and creativity that can inspire you but not dictate you. So this is where I found a lot of problems and I have myself struggled to unplug from social media because of the codependency that has been created with it for the past eight years. And I'm navigating, I'm in that process now of taking my power back and reclaiming my, my expression and, and my outlets through my podcast, through being on other podcasts, being in my own own channels and going back to using social media as a tool and not a crutch. So I'll pause there.
- [19:02]
Julie Solomon
So good. The big thing that was coming up for me, and this is, this is just a much larger conversation that we can dive into, is that all of this is so, so true in, in the varying layers. And I think that everyone that's listening to this is going to relate to it in some way, shape or form. You don't even have to be in the online coaching industry to relate to it. I see it, you know, the influencer marketing arenas and the product service arenas and the online education arenas. It's, it's all there. And it is due to this mass dependency and consumption to have to show up and perform instead of rooting into that again, showing up and serving. So if all of this is true to whatever degree for those that are listening, how do we start to get to the other side of that? How do we start to use social media as a vessel, as a channel to propel our greater vision, calling message, service impact before it uses and completely consumes us?
- [20:04]
Celine DaCosta
Hmm. So to answer that, I'm going to take a step back and we're going to do a mini psychology crash course that will then make the answer to this question really obviously because I have so many of my clients and students coming to me asking the questions, how do I tell my story? How can I express myself more authentically online? How can I share my message? So there's this desire on a top level to I want to Share my message. I want to tell my story. I have something to say. I have a mission to share. Basically, I want to share what is inside of me to express. Top level, which is what would drive somebody to go on social media in the first place on their own volition. And then the, the narrative and you know, I'm, I'm generalizing across the collect the collective, but the narrative then, then I, I also get. Is. But I can't because if I, I'm too afraid that I'll be rejected, that I will be judged, that no one will listen, that my story isn't good enough, that my story is too much. So anyone who's listening, just tune into which one of these combinations feels resonant for you. This is the polarity. I want to share my message, my authentic message, but I can't. Because rejection, judgment, not enough, too much. And so this is the top layer that will drive many people to spend thousands, if not tens of thousands of dollars and energy and time and tons of stress and frustration to figure out how they can master their message and how they can put out content and how they can do it in a way that avoids the feeling, the uncomfortable feeling they feel inside. And this is where we shave off this top layer and all the courses, like make a hundred k in the NEC next a hundred days on this Instagram and like 10 templates for you to use the content and da da, da, da, da. Like, this is where like the, the marketing grows and it's like a mass feeding frenzy up here. Problem, solution, problem, solution. Like, boom. They gorge them. They're gorging themselves out there. It's not going to last for long now that we're. Consciousness is raising around this. But this is like where the feeding frenzy is and when I'm working with clients and this is what you know, to start. To answer your question, we need to drop a layer down because this is the narrative that the mind tells itself to understand what's actually happening on a deeper soul and human level. So on a soul level, we are here to express ourselves and experience that which we know inside it. It's a little metaphysical, but bear with me, I'll get more granular and more practical as we go along. But on a soul level, we're here to express creatively. That's why we have dance, that's why we have art, that's why we have singing. Like, like, it's just, we don't, we can't live. There's, you know, there's an old saying that when Someone used to get sick in the indigenous cultures that the shaman would say, when was the last time you danced? When was the last time you sang? When was the last time you played? It's a core need of the spirit to creatively express itself through life. And on a human level, there are things that we've gone through in our life that prevent us from expressing creatively. And that, very simply put, we are going to call it our past conditioning from when we were children. It's how we were raised, what we were taught to believe, what we were taught since we were little children, by our caregivers, by our society we grew up in, about what is true about life, what is available to us, what is not available to us. And what I find when we drill into this fear of the desire to express ourselves, which is absolutely natural need of the spirit. And then we're like, but why can't you? Which is what has people either not performing on social media or wanting to figure out the social media. It just creates so much coagulation and stress around social media. And when we go drill down a layer deeper and a layer deeper and a layer deeper and a layer deeper, this fear of rejecting, this fear of showing up, this fear of being too much, this fear of being too little, it really stems from two core wounds which are as old as time. I'm not enough and I'm not worthy. We make a humans, we make a huge fucking fuss out of life to not feel these core wounds. And again, if we do it a layer balloons, we. We do a layer deeper. When you could say, traditionally speaking, this is not 100 the case. But again, I'm speaking generally because we're doing a crash course here. Is the I'm unworthy comes from the mom wound. I'm not enough is the father wound. Some of us have one, some of us got lucky, got both. But that's ultimately what it boils down to. I'm not enough. I'm not worthy. And again, look around. If I had a room, if I had all of your listeners in a room right now, and I asked them to raise their hand, pretty much almost all of them, except those who have done some massive healing work and really are fully complete with this, in which case they might not even need to listen to the rest of this podcast, would be raising their hands and being like, yep, got that one. Got that one. It's human. We're in it together. We're all in it together. But it's important to understand how we react to life and how we Basically interact and engage with life through the lens of these two core wounds. And until we become conscious of what they are in our lives and how we're reacting to them, we're going to keep unconsciously reacting. So what does this have to do with social media? And the way out is when we start recognizing that this whole. I want to tell my story, but I'm feeling rejected. Yes, those feelings are real. Yes, let's validate them. I'm not saying that your fear of being rejected is not valid, but what I'm saying is that if we go under, under, under, under, there's a deeper core wound that needs to be visited around. I'm not enough, or I'm not worthy, or both. And that's what keeps us clicking the button and scrolling the scroll so we can receive more dopamine, so we can distract ourselves so we can do something else. Oh, this person's doing this way. Let me do it that way. Oh, this, this person's changing. They're creating a membership. Let me create a membership. And it's really important to check ourselves. And this is when we talk about the inner work, to check ourselves, to see when we are in, when we are looking at a post and we are reacting to it by being like, oh, I'm gonna do a carousel just like this person, or I'm gonna do a membership just like this person. I'm gonna, you know, raise my prices. Like this person says, is it coming from one of your core wounds or is it coming from your soul? Desire for self expression? Like that's. And I'll elaborate a little bit more on this question, but this is the crux of it. This requires a massive amount of self discipline and self awareness. So it's not easy. It's part of our work. Knowing ourselves, you know, know thyself is in our inner work and our development, which allows us to evolve and, and create a business that's truly of service. Because we, we can only be as of service and as of contribution as we have healed ourselves. Yes, you can be in service. When you know you're, you're scratching your ego. You can definitely help a lot of people, but it has a limit, it has a ceiling. Until the day you burn out, until the day that the company falls down, until the day that you can't take it anymore. Until the day that, the day that, the day that. The day that another pattern comes through and, and you can't cope with it. But when you're operating from soul, in that soul expression, like there's no limit to how you can contribute and the way your business can be a vessel for that contribution, the way social media can be a microphone for that message. But if we continue to react and engage with social media from the lens of I'm not worthy and I'm not enough and we tell ourselves the story, that is because we're afraid of being rejected or be judged, whatever. Go down, go down. Take the elbow down into the core, wound into the root of what's happening. And that's the place you got to look at and that's the space you got to hold for yourself or if you need to hire somebody, like a therapist, coach, whatever, you know, like that's. But that's the place where you got to go and look at yourself. Because until then, what we do as human beings, totally natural, doesn't mean it's great. We will distract ourselves to not look at the thing we're avoiding, to feel. We will distract ourselves to not confront that thing that hurts us so much. And the biggest irony is that when we have the courage to confront that thing that hurts us so much, that's when the energy moves, that's when the healing happens, and that's when you can be more of service. So the very thing that we're avoiding is where we need to go. So the scrolling is one of the ways. The scrolling, the bottle, the workaholism, all ways to distract ourselves from, from tapping into what matters. So to bring it home, what is the way out? The first way is self awareness and really pausing, breathing, coming into your body. And every time you're stuck in a scroll and you're feeling triggered by someone else's success, or you're feeling like you're not enough because someone achieved this thing and they've been in the industry for less time than you. Whatever the story you're telling yourself is, stop, pause and ask yourself, is this coming from soul? Is this my soul expression wanting to express itself or is this my ego reacting to the wounding it doesn't want to feel? And then from that space you take action. You either unfollow the triggers, even though that's, that's another form to not feel it. But if that's what you need in this stage, it's fine. You, you, you know, you pull in your emotional tools to self regulate your nervous system and you just become more conscious and aware of the role that social media is playing. And if it's playing you or you're playing it, and when you become that aware, then we can look at the business model and be like, okay, how much do you want to rely on social media right now? Do you really need to share your message here right now? All these questions that are in that top layer that we spend tens of thousands of dollars to fix through courses, you know, promises and stuff like that, they get answered when we actually go, go deep. I hope that it's a bit of a more psychological approach, but I hope that that answers the question.
- [30:35]
Julie Solomon
Well, and that's exactly what I wanted you to bring, and I knew that you would, and it was just the most perfect, glorious thing. And, and I think it's also important to note here that, you know, Celine, people happily pay you for your services. You have offers, you have services, you, you hold space for people. And, and I think that that's important to note because it is not the product, the service, the coach, the education, the solution, quote unquote, that is necessarily bad or evil or the problem. It's the intention of the why and making sure that our side of the street is clean with that first before we go looking for the solutions. And I think that that is a big, big takeaway that I just took from what you shared because, you know, that just really shows your own power and how embodied you are in your own power because you're calling out, you know, something that you do, I do. Every single day. We show up, we serve, we have to market. It's part of selling is, is our service, it's part of these things. But the more that we hold the truth and honor that truth within us and the more that we can call in those that want that truth honored within them, it's just a cleaner exchange of energy. And it's when everything that you just shared is not addressed, is avoided, is shamed, that we, we never find the quote, unquote answers to what we're looking for. And so with all of that, I would love for you to also share as well how you see, and I don't want to necessarily say like a trend, but like, where do you see social media going? Because you said when you were talking about that top line, you're like, you know, the market's just too sophisticated. There's just too many brilliant, tapped in, tuned in people now or people that are at least working on themselves to get there. They're too conscious and aware. So like, they're not going to fall for that. So if not that, where do you feel and see social media and specifically the online coaching industry going? My friends, I have to let you know about a new approach to strategy that I have been doing over this last year that has helped so many of my clients this year. It is an approach that involves taking a deep dive into your business, examining every part of it from messaging and offer flow to sales strategies, reviewing your messaging, analyzing your offer suite, refining your sales strategies. We dive into all things like social content, email copy and everything in between. And we really talk about what your offer looks like today and how are we making sure that your offer are your offers and the messaging that you use to sell those offers are talking to each other. And then I dive deep into identifying ways to really amplify your efforts to ensure that not only your public facing messaging and marketing but also all of the invisible behind the scenes strategies that you need in order to scale actually work together. So if this sounds like something that you need help with, it is going to be perfect for you if you are an online educator, an online coach or an online creator who is looking to take your current business model and.
- [33:52]
Celine DaCosta
Scale it to new heights.
- [33:54]
Julie Solomon
So I am saying for people that may be making let's say anywhere around 5 to 10 to 15k a month right now and they're wanting to hit those big numbers, the 20k, the 30k, the 50k, the 100k months. But they're sitting here thinking how do I make this happen? How do I keep seeing other people on the Internet do this? But I can't do this. And it really does come down to those three key things that I mentioned earlier. Your messaging, your offer suite and refining those sales strategies. And that is what is happening in my world. And so if you are interested in learning more about that, I would love for you to go to Julie Solomon.net interest there's going to be a quick form there that you can fill out and from there we will see what you've got going on and see what is the best fit for you. I want to make sure to meet you where you are instead of just throwing some kind of random program at you that may not benefit you. So that's what the form is for. It's really quick to fill out. Again, that's Julie Solomon.net interest if you are looking to scale your offers this year based on where we are today.
- [34:54]
Celine DaCosta
So I don't see social media going anywhere and but in in line to what you're saying about the market sophistication and the mass awakening to these realizations and the importance of doing the inner work and actually healing self healing in light of that, what I am seeing is that there will be leaders that will be migrating out of social media and or deprioritizing the role that social media, the centralization that social media has in their business. I have seen behind the scenes the massive level of burnout, of fatigue, exhaustion that so many influencers have around being a quote unquote content cow. And I've especially, you know there's been different ways that they've coped with it. Some of them have just hired people and you know we're talking about like the classic or the big names that don't can't be bothered like the Tony Robbins, Joe Dispenza's but, but I'm seeing people even like maybe like more micro influencing levels just being like I can't be bothered. Here's my business, like here's the business card stuff. Like someone else can manage this and not be on it. So I can see a lot of social media accounts becoming more like here's my business card. But not actually like I'm gonna go on here something a move that I'm seeing other people do that I'm also been contemplating and sitting in myself is just having my community hub not be social media. Like so even in my own marketing efforts I'm focusing more on my podcast, I'm focusing more on other people's podcasts and being an email just essentially like moving off the platform when it comes to any more in person connections and whatnot. But yeah, I also am seeing the rise of like you know, things like circle mighty network school, like non social media centralized community taking up more space and being like more sought after as more private places of high quality community. Because also you need to consider that with social media it's a bit of like a one way street. And yes, now there's like broadcast channels and things like that. But it just feels like it's been very like I'm the leader, you're the follower. Listen to the brilliant things I have to say. Like there's been a bit of a power, strange power over dynamic that I don't really personally love. And so, so to me what I'm sensing is that there will be a whole wave of us going into more of a hey, let's sit around a circle and share in our humanity. So, so that is what I've been feeling. And then there was a second question that I forgot. I'm sorry, can you ask it again?
- [37:35]
Julie Solomon
No worries. Where with that to say where do you see the online coaching industry going from this?
- [37:43]
Celine DaCosta
I knew it was an important one. Okay, so I'm gonna get real, real, real and all my coaches out there, please forgive me. This is not, I'm not gonna throw shade at anyone. But like, I mean, I'm here for, yeah, I'm authentic. I'm here for authenticity and transparency. I think, you know, we've been, we were talking before, like, we've been in the game pre Covid, few years pre Covid and we've seen, you know, the coaching industry go from, what's this, what's coaching? Like, what's going on here? And then all of a sudden there's been, it was this massive wave of all these people entering the online space world and being like, ooh, look again, this is not to offend anyone, but I'm going to speak it just in case it resonates. I just seen a huge massive wave of. I don't feel like doing my 9 to 5 job anymore. I'm, I've seen, you know, the effects of the pandemic. For whatever reason, I want to go travel the world, be a nomad, have more remote flexibility, all that jazz. This coaching thing I give, I think I give pretty good advice. I could get into it. Oh, low barrier to entry, really high paying job. Oh, this sounds like the perfect way for me to jump into. And I have seen a like, mass wave of completely unqualified, under trained people, call themselves coaches and enter this industry with no idea about what kind of job this really is when done well, the responsibility that it entails, both on a human level as well as a business level and how challenging this work is. And it's been for someone who, you know, I've been in the coaching industry for eight years now and I, no matter how many ups and downs I've gone through my business, there hasn't been a moment where I've questioned whether I should be a coach. It is my calling.
- [39:39]
Julie Solomon
The same way.
- [39:40]
Celine DaCosta
I have a friend of mine, one really good buddy of mine. He's known, he wanted to be a neurosurgeon since he's five. He's doing his residency right now in his 30s and neurosurgeon, like he knows it. I haven't known since I was 5 because I didn't even know this was an industry. But the moment that I connected to it, I was like, this is it, this is my life. And I have seen a lot of people struggling with this because on the outside it looks really fun and really easy. Like, oh, a high paying job with like low barrier to entry. And again, I give good advice, looks easy enough and I lament. It really breaks my heart, the lack of gravitas and just serious consideration that this industry has received in the past few years. And how many people are also doing a huge disservice to themselves by jumping ship into the quote unquote, like the easy path without taking the time and energy to explore what it is that they're really here to do, which is a bit more of challenging for some people. And it takes more effort and it takes more work and it. There's less instant gratification, but it's actually the more important pathway to take. And I'll give you an example of this. You know, I had a client of mine, one of a brilliant client, who came to me and she was just distraught because all she wanted to do was to become an influencer coach, you know, and she. She hired me because she, yes, she resonated with me, but she also saw my blue check mark, she also saw the followers, and she's like, I want to be like that. I want to be like that. And through my process where I very. So hopefully, as you can see, one of my gifts is just peeling back the bullshit. And I really get to the core of things and I'm not interested in anything else. So when someone comes work with me, they better be ready to get stripped naked. And. And because it's like we're gonna look at what's actually happening. And when we got to the core of why she was trying so hard to be a coach and even she was getting the clients, she was making money, but she felt so unhappy. It's because it wasn't her sole calling. And fast forward, you know, to one. We worked together for a year, and now it's been about a year and a half to. Yeah, almost two years since. Since we've completed. She's a very successful interior designer designing luxury homes because that's what she loved to do. But she couldn't give herself that time and that space to figure it out until she was so desperate because she felt so unfulfilled and so unhappy that coaching just wasn't scratching the itch. It's because she fell into the trap. Oh, coaching good enough. I'm easy enough. Oh, the followers. Oh, I like it. And went for the shiny image. External shiny image. And forgot who she was and forgot that inside of her there was actually a much deeper calling than quote, unquote, coaching. I was speaking to another friend as well, who was in, you know, smoking that pipe, you could say, and. And he realized, you know, all my life he's very successful now. He said all my. For years, for years, for years I wanted a seven figure coaching business. But until I started to realize that I didn't actually that wasn't my calling. That's not what my energy was. He built. He's a co founder of self healing. Like health, like water frequencies and saunas and just basically healing through body. Oh my God, I don't even know the industry. Like saunas and you know, infrared, all that stuff.
- [42:50]
Julie Solomon
Yeah.
- [42:50]
Celine DaCosta
So anyways, yeah. You know what I mean? Healing modality. Yeah. He's a co founder of an eight figure healing company which is not about coaching at all.
- [42:59]
Julie Solomon
Right.
- [43:00]
Celine DaCosta
So I guess where I'm, you know what I'm. Where I'm getting with this is that there's so many people that are jumping on this ship because it looks cool and shiny and are doing themselves the disservice of truly tapping into what it is that they want, what it is that lights them up inside. That might have nothing to do with coaching or it might. But if I could give anyone advice here about the coaching industry is, don't do this if your heart's not in it, please.
- [43:29]
Julie Solomon
It's.
- [43:29]
Celine DaCosta
It's not fair to you, to your soul, to your soul's calling, to what your soul's here to become and express. It's not fair to all the people who are investing to receive a level of service and need the person on the other side to really have their heart in this. Because this is deep work, this is hard work. I think of it, you know, in my work, doing subconscious reprogramming. I am a surgeon with a scalpel in my hand and I better get in there and get out without leaving any football footprints. It is a serious job to go in inside someone's universe and move things around and ideally empower them. But when you haven't done your own healing work, when you still, when you're still unconsciously projecting, when what you said, your side of the street isn't fully clean and you know that it's really easy to leave behind, you know, once a bit. Stop earning, man. It's really easy to leave trash blind.
- [44:25]
Julie Solomon
Yeah.
- [44:25]
Celine DaCosta
Unconsciously. Even if you had the best intentions. And so something that one of my mentors said to me, and I couldn't resonate with this more, Julie. And I think he will too, because he said, you know, I asked him, I'm like, hey, should I be worried about this coaching industry thing? Like, am I going down? Like, what's going on? Like, should I be scared and this was about six months ago. And he says, your best job insurance is the excellence of your work. The best coaches that do their work with heart, soul, and have a very refined skill set will never be out of a job and they will only be getting paid more as the other 90% of the bubble pops and comes crashing down. It's a race to the bottom for those who are focused on needing to create better marketing so they can better sell a product that isn't actually delivering because there's no word of mouth, there's no social proof. The ones who are fabricating stories and information in order to continue to keep up this facade that's going to come crushing down. But ultimately, for those of you who are listening, you're like, coaching is my calling. Great, then give it your heart. And your best insurance will be the level through which you can be someone that facilitates transformation for others and you will never have to worry about your job.
- [45:49]
Julie Solomon
So good. I remember one of the best coaching advices that I ever got from a mentor of mine. She said, it is not your job to hold people to levels that they haven't worked for. They, they can't hold it.
- [46:04]
Celine DaCosta
Chills.
- [46:05]
Julie Solomon
She was like, it is not your job to bring people up two levels that they haven't worked for. They, they literally cannot hold it. It's not fair to them. It's not fair to you. And I was like, oof, thank you. I received that. And I think that that's where so much of this space can get convoluted because then the expectations. Just speaking of, I would love to also tap into this one more thing. So we talked a lot about just now about the coach and the expectation and holding yourself and having your heart into it and being ready and willing to go there. Now can we flip it and talk about the expectation of the coachee, of the mentee and how they come to the table to have a beautiful congruence of a, of a transformation.
- [46:56]
Celine DaCosta
Absolutely. What I have found, you know, I've. I'm not only a coach, but I'm also a coachee to several mentors. As. As you know, we all are. I've been a coachee many, many times. Even currently I have three mentors. And what I have found in my own experience is that the times where. Well, first of all, as a baseline, I've adopted a belief system that every decision I make, even if I might short term judge myself or having taken a step, a wrong step, or I just beat myself up because I spent too much or whatever the story is, but what I agreed with, with myself for my own self development journey is that anytime I make a decision, I'm going to honor that decision to the end. And what I mean by that is that there's been moments where I could tell you a story about how I invested in a coach that I didn't think was quote unquote asking like what they were charging was not a match for the value that they marketed. But I wouldn't say that it was a waste of money because it was what I needed to learn the lesson, to ask more questions, to ask better questions, to not be seduced by marketing. And so every coaching program, every coach I've hired, every mentor I've hired, I think that it's really important as a core base of, of receiving coaching is to take radical self responsibility for your learnings and know that no matter what happens, learn the lesson. So if the lesson is, oh my God, that was the best coach ever and I'm going to keep working with her for indefinite amount of time because I just keep getting lessons every time, great. If the lesson is, oof, that was not what I was looking for. But you know what? Now I've learned this and this and this from that person. Always extract the lesson. Your money is never wasted. Always extract the lesson for you so you can grow. And that being said, there are what I have found to be problematic as well is there's a narrative of the client, you know, the client is responsible for themselves, which is true, but it has been a bit distorted in the sense that when we, what I believe, this is my belief, are creating a coachee coach relationship depending on the container. Because obviously it's different if you're doing a mindset coach as opposed to no, you're hiring somebody to coach on social media. We're talking about two different contexts. But it's because you're desiring support and so you get to have that support. And what I where I have found, I've received the lead like it was the least successful for me in my coachee coach relationships is when I hired somebody so they could save me. And I've done that a couple times. I'm struggling, I don't know what to do. I don't want to sit in the discomfort. I want to accelerate this shit, I want to skip it. So I'm going to hire somebody that looks like they can fix this problem and soothe me and help me get the thing done that I need to get done. And you know, I've done that a couple times and lovely people, lovely work. But I could, I literally could not receive what they had to give me. I could not receive their gifts because I was hiring for the wrong problem. So I think it's, it's really worth when I'm contemplating and I'm thinking, I would like support around this. I would like mentorship around this. I'm not knee jerking anymore into, oh, I need help. I don't like sales. I need, I need help. There's a sales coach. She's the best sales coach in the game. $50,000 by. And then, and then she can't help me, you know, to do make the sales. Because it's not a sales problem. It's what I thought the problem was. It's, it's, it's not a sales problem. It's actually, you know, an, a confidence issue that requires a trauma informed coach or a therapist or something like that, you know, and the inverse is also true. Like sometimes I'm like, this is a confidence problem. I. And then it was like all these therapists and then it's like, no, actually you just, you just need to set up a dashboard on your business and like get visibility on your numbers. And it's not that you're like not good enough. It's literally that there's, there's like a mismatch in your project management and you're not seeing how much money is outgoing and how much is inbound. So as business owners, it's important when we're feeling uncomfortable and we're feeling stuck and you know, coachee as well, and we're like in that space of I really need a mentor, I really need a coach. Like, sit in your discomfort for a little bit. Ask the questions, what, what is it that I think the problem is? What is it? And when you are going into coaching conversations, number one, make sure that you're, you're notice that part of you that wants to just like jump, like, let's go fix my problem. Because if that's the energy that you're operating from, you really take a step back. It's that same story about core wounding. Come back in, come back in. Soothe yourself, regulate your nervous system. Move when you're regulated. But if it's like, wow, this person really inspires me and I'm really drawn to this mentor coach. Tell them like to have an open conversation and beware of jumping to self analyzing your own problem. Because even when you're meeting with an expert, if it's someone that's good and in integrity, part of their role is to help you get clarity on what the actual issue is. And also if they can help you and if they can't, if they can refer you to someone who can. Because so many times, you know, I remember there was a client who I also ended up working with for a year who was, who, who is just beautiful. And she messaged me originally because she was like, I want to get on Forbes and you know, I want to really grow my, I want to become like a well known figure. And I remember just, just I wasn't, you know, I was just trying to help her. And I responded, I'm like, do you want to get on Forbes? Like what is this about? Is this about you wanting to get on Forbes or are you feeling like you can't, you're not being seen? And she was like, oh my God. And, and she actually came to me because she wanted to get on Forbes but then she ended up hiring me because I called her out that the thing she thought was a problem was not actually the problem, that it was not actually a problem. And she felt trust in that. So, so allow yourself to be supported and allow yourself to, rather than jumping to self, diagnose the problem, speak to an expert and let them help you to see. And if it's somebody again in integrity, if you notice that they're just a sales coach and they want to sell you sales and tell you the problem is sales, even though you don't feel it within yourself, maybe take a moment before you, you hand over the credit card but like breathe, trust yourself and listen to your intuition. Allow yourself to be supported. And when you show up, do it with radical self responsibility. Because even the people that I hired to save me, no, I would like I did not blame them. It's not their fault that I insisted that this was my problem and that I convinced myself that I needed to pay them for the problem to go away. That's my stuff, that's my responsibility. And I think we would both be better off because there's a lot of bridges being burned on both sides of the industry. But I think like there you can talk about the coach side of coaches not being in integrity with their offerings and marketing not in accordance to what the actual experience deliverable is, you know, not charging in a, in, in, in right relationship with the value that, that they're offering. So we can have a whole conversation on that, but we can also have a conversation on the people who keep falling for it. Not asking questions because they're not regulating their nervous system. They're not Checking in with themselves. They're falling for the, you know, like the traps and they're coming from victim, save me mode instead of self empowered creators looking for someone to support them on their path and looking for a thinking partner. So that's what I would say.
- [55:03]
Julie Solomon
So juicy. So, so much good, deep, deep, deep, deep wisdom today. Thank you so much for your light, your wisdom, your truth, for just sharing what is honestly so real, what needed to be shared, what needed to be told. And I know it is going to really, it's going to help a lot of people listening to this. It's going to, in a, in the best way maybe trigger some people listening to this so they can really start to tap in and root in to like listen to themselves and see themselves instead of avoiding and hiding. And I think that it's going to also give a lot of people just serenity and knowing that their path is, they're on the right path and they just need to keep moving forward and tapping deeper and deeper and deeper into what that truth is for them. So thank you so much for this. I would love for you to share where people can find you, learn more about your work and where your most ideal place to drop in and connect with people is.
- [56:12]
Celine DaCosta
Yeah. So how you can find me and learn more about my work, you can go on my website, Celine dacosta.com it's C E L I N N E D A C O S T A and there you can learn, you know, I have courses, I have a group program called Business by Soul and I offer, you know, case by case, private one on one coaching that you're welcome to apply for if you feel called to it. So that's the first place, you know, in on the talk of social media. I am on social media, maybe not as frequently as my email, but I am on there. And you can find me at Celine dacosta on Facebook, LinkedIn and Instagram. I am semi active on Instagram in, in the sense that if you love this episode and you take a screenshot and you tag me and Julia and you're like, I freaking love this. There's very high chance that I will be seeing that, responding that. And so I'm still, you know, involved in this in when it comes to nurturing my community. But if you want to get the juicy juicy, like the super juicy juicy Juicy, you're going to want to one subscribe to my email newsletter. So it's Celine dacosta.com newsletter. That is where I go all these things that I'm Talking about with Julie today, like the behind the scenes, you're not going to see as much of this on social media. That's done by design. So that's where you're going to see everything as well as special bonuses, discounts, all the wonderful things that come along with being part of my community. And the second is on my podcast, which is where you know, Julie will also be a guest on. It's called it's not what you think. And you can, you can imagine why I would call it that based on having known me for the past hour. And last but not least, I've also offered you know you can, which will be in the show notes. I have a free masterclass on how to create a soul aligned business. So if you're feeling, you know, interested and tapped into what I've shared around, how do we go about creating a business that is really in alignment to our deeper soul purpose? I promise you, you will walk out of this masterclass if this episode is, I have any indication, mind blown and with very practical, actionable steps, a way that you can pivot and up level your own business so you can steer it back into the path of soul. So those are a few ways that you can, you can find me, reach me.
- [58:17]
Julie Solomon
Beautiful. And we'll make sure that all of that, of course, is in the show notes. And again, thank you so much for being here today. I cannot wait to receive all of the beautiful feedback that we're going to be getting from our conversation. So thank you, friend.
- [58:28]
Celine DaCosta
Yes, thank you. Thank you for having me.
- [58:33]
Julie Solomon
As always, thank you so much for joining me today and every week here on the Influencer podcast. If you're wanting to dive deeper into the topics and discussions that we have here, I would encourage you to head over to juliesolomon.net and sign up for my weekly newsletter. It is in our amazing newsletter community that we are able to really support you on a much larger scale and I love to do a ton of amazing things that I send inside your inbox every single week. So just head over to juliesolomon.net you'll see a little spot there that you can add your information in and you will get on the list and start receiving all of that good stuff.