Celine DaCosta (20:04)
Hmm. So to answer that, I'm going to take a step back and we're going to do a mini psychology crash course that will then make the answer to this question really obviously because I have so many of my clients and students coming to me asking the questions, how do I tell my story? How can I express myself more authentically online? How can I share my message? So there's this desire on a top level to I want to Share my message. I want to tell my story. I have something to say. I have a mission to share. Basically, I want to share what is inside of me to express. Top level, which is what would drive somebody to go on social media in the first place on their own volition. And then the, the narrative and you know, I'm, I'm generalizing across the collect the collective, but the narrative then, then I, I also get. Is. But I can't because if I, I'm too afraid that I'll be rejected, that I will be judged, that no one will listen, that my story isn't good enough, that my story is too much. So anyone who's listening, just tune into which one of these combinations feels resonant for you. This is the polarity. I want to share my message, my authentic message, but I can't. Because rejection, judgment, not enough, too much. And so this is the top layer that will drive many people to spend thousands, if not tens of thousands of dollars and energy and time and tons of stress and frustration to figure out how they can master their message and how they can put out content and how they can do it in a way that avoids the feeling, the uncomfortable feeling they feel inside. And this is where we shave off this top layer and all the courses, like make a hundred k in the NEC next a hundred days on this Instagram and like 10 templates for you to use the content and da da, da, da, da. Like, this is where like the, the marketing grows and it's like a mass feeding frenzy up here. Problem, solution, problem, solution. Like, boom. They gorge them. They're gorging themselves out there. It's not going to last for long now that we're. Consciousness is raising around this. But this is like where the feeding frenzy is and when I'm working with clients and this is what you know, to start. To answer your question, we need to drop a layer down because this is the narrative that the mind tells itself to understand what's actually happening on a deeper soul and human level. So on a soul level, we are here to express ourselves and experience that which we know inside it. It's a little metaphysical, but bear with me, I'll get more granular and more practical as we go along. But on a soul level, we're here to express creatively. That's why we have dance, that's why we have art, that's why we have singing. Like, like, it's just, we don't, we can't live. There's, you know, there's an old saying that when Someone used to get sick in the indigenous cultures that the shaman would say, when was the last time you danced? When was the last time you sang? When was the last time you played? It's a core need of the spirit to creatively express itself through life. And on a human level, there are things that we've gone through in our life that prevent us from expressing creatively. And that, very simply put, we are going to call it our past conditioning from when we were children. It's how we were raised, what we were taught to believe, what we were taught since we were little children, by our caregivers, by our society we grew up in, about what is true about life, what is available to us, what is not available to us. And what I find when we drill into this fear of the desire to express ourselves, which is absolutely natural need of the spirit. And then we're like, but why can't you? Which is what has people either not performing on social media or wanting to figure out the social media. It just creates so much coagulation and stress around social media. And when we go drill down a layer deeper and a layer deeper and a layer deeper and a layer deeper, this fear of rejecting, this fear of showing up, this fear of being too much, this fear of being too little, it really stems from two core wounds which are as old as time. I'm not enough and I'm not worthy. We make a humans, we make a huge fucking fuss out of life to not feel these core wounds. And again, if we do it a layer balloons, we. We do a layer deeper. When you could say, traditionally speaking, this is not 100 the case. But again, I'm speaking generally because we're doing a crash course here. Is the I'm unworthy comes from the mom wound. I'm not enough is the father wound. Some of us have one, some of us got lucky, got both. But that's ultimately what it boils down to. I'm not enough. I'm not worthy. And again, look around. If I had a room, if I had all of your listeners in a room right now, and I asked them to raise their hand, pretty much almost all of them, except those who have done some massive healing work and really are fully complete with this, in which case they might not even need to listen to the rest of this podcast, would be raising their hands and being like, yep, got that one. Got that one. It's human. We're in it together. We're all in it together. But it's important to understand how we react to life and how we Basically interact and engage with life through the lens of these two core wounds. And until we become conscious of what they are in our lives and how we're reacting to them, we're going to keep unconsciously reacting. So what does this have to do with social media? And the way out is when we start recognizing that this whole. I want to tell my story, but I'm feeling rejected. Yes, those feelings are real. Yes, let's validate them. I'm not saying that your fear of being rejected is not valid, but what I'm saying is that if we go under, under, under, under, there's a deeper core wound that needs to be visited around. I'm not enough, or I'm not worthy, or both. And that's what keeps us clicking the button and scrolling the scroll so we can receive more dopamine, so we can distract ourselves so we can do something else. Oh, this person's doing this way. Let me do it that way. Oh, this, this person's changing. They're creating a membership. Let me create a membership. And it's really important to check ourselves. And this is when we talk about the inner work, to check ourselves, to see when we are in, when we are looking at a post and we are reacting to it by being like, oh, I'm gonna do a carousel just like this person, or I'm gonna do a membership just like this person. I'm gonna, you know, raise my prices. Like this person says, is it coming from one of your core wounds or is it coming from your soul? Desire for self expression? Like that's. And I'll elaborate a little bit more on this question, but this is the crux of it. This requires a massive amount of self discipline and self awareness. So it's not easy. It's part of our work. Knowing ourselves, you know, know thyself is in our inner work and our development, which allows us to evolve and, and create a business that's truly of service. Because we, we can only be as of service and as of contribution as we have healed ourselves. Yes, you can be in service. When you know you're, you're scratching your ego. You can definitely help a lot of people, but it has a limit, it has a ceiling. Until the day you burn out, until the day that the company falls down, until the day that you can't take it anymore. Until the day that, the day that, the day that. The day that another pattern comes through and, and you can't cope with it. But when you're operating from soul, in that soul expression, like there's no limit to how you can contribute and the way your business can be a vessel for that contribution, the way social media can be a microphone for that message. But if we continue to react and engage with social media from the lens of I'm not worthy and I'm not enough and we tell ourselves the story, that is because we're afraid of being rejected or be judged, whatever. Go down, go down. Take the elbow down into the core, wound into the root of what's happening. And that's the place you got to look at and that's the space you got to hold for yourself or if you need to hire somebody, like a therapist, coach, whatever, you know, like that's. But that's the place where you got to go and look at yourself. Because until then, what we do as human beings, totally natural, doesn't mean it's great. We will distract ourselves to not look at the thing we're avoiding, to feel. We will distract ourselves to not confront that thing that hurts us so much. And the biggest irony is that when we have the courage to confront that thing that hurts us so much, that's when the energy moves, that's when the healing happens, and that's when you can be more of service. So the very thing that we're avoiding is where we need to go. So the scrolling is one of the ways. The scrolling, the bottle, the workaholism, all ways to distract ourselves from, from tapping into what matters. So to bring it home, what is the way out? The first way is self awareness and really pausing, breathing, coming into your body. And every time you're stuck in a scroll and you're feeling triggered by someone else's success, or you're feeling like you're not enough because someone achieved this thing and they've been in the industry for less time than you. Whatever the story you're telling yourself is, stop, pause and ask yourself, is this coming from soul? Is this my soul expression wanting to express itself or is this my ego reacting to the wounding it doesn't want to feel? And then from that space you take action. You either unfollow the triggers, even though that's, that's another form to not feel it. But if that's what you need in this stage, it's fine. You, you, you know, you pull in your emotional tools to self regulate your nervous system and you just become more conscious and aware of the role that social media is playing. And if it's playing you or you're playing it, and when you become that aware, then we can look at the business model and be like, okay, how much do you want to rely on social media right now? Do you really need to share your message here right now? All these questions that are in that top layer that we spend tens of thousands of dollars to fix through courses, you know, promises and stuff like that, they get answered when we actually go, go deep. I hope that it's a bit of a more psychological approach, but I hope that that answers the question.
