WOMAN OF INFLUENCE
Host: Julie Solomon
Guest: Alicia Oxy
Episode: The Messy, Beautiful Middle: Embracing Your Next Chapter
Date: October 29, 2025
Episode Overview
In this episode, Julie Solomon welcomes longtime friend and fellow creator Alicia Oxy to discuss navigating the “messy middle” of life and career, embracing evolution, and stepping into one's next chapter—both personally and professionally. Together, they explore themes of identity realignment, success beyond metrics, processing change with grace, and the power (and pain) of outgrowing old patterns and relationships. The conversation is candid, soulful, and deeply insightful, offering real talk for high-achieving women redefining influence on their own terms.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Lifelong Friendship, Evolution, and Rebranding
[00:51–03:46]
- Julie and Alicia reminisce about their 12-year friendship, tracing their journey from meeting at a chip bowl to sharing major life milestones.
- Julie talks about the intention behind relaunching the podcast as “Woman of Influence,” choosing to feature meaningful conversations with people who inspire her.
- Alicia reflects on her own itch to evolve and considers rebranding her own podcast after eight years, inspired by Julie’s boldness.
“As we get older, I think your circle gets much smaller, where you start to see the reflective points, the mirrors that you really need to evolve and grow.”
— Alicia [02:32]
2. The “Itch” for Change & Navigating the Hallway
[03:43–04:58]
- Both describe the internal restlessness (“the itch”) that precedes personal and creative growth.
- Julie notes how boredom leads her into self-criticism, which evolves into creative inspiration.
- Alicia shares that her “itch” is often a sign her current container has outlived its usefulness.
“I’m in the hallway right now where I’m like, what door is opening? Because I’m shutting doors.”
— Alicia [03:50]
3. Embracing the Valley: From Self-Critique to Curiosity
[05:06–08:13]
- Alicia discusses moving from self-criticism to conscious acceptance when creativity ebbs.
- She now welcomes periods of boredom or doubt (the “valley”), using them as opportunities for self-reflection rather than projecting dissatisfaction onto others.
- Stillness, journaling, and creating time away from daily responsibilities help her reconnect to herself and invite curiosity about what's next.
“In my new iteration of a woman in her 40s, I think I’ve welcomed the valley now... Before I used to project that out on to others...No, it’s me. It’s my container shifting.”
— Alicia [06:22]
4. Redefining & Marking Success
[11:05–15:16]
- Alicia admits that until recently, she didn’t define success for herself, making it impossible to recognize when she’d achieved it.
- She’s now setting her own markers and intentions, celebrating both small and large accomplishments.
- True success, she realizes, is anchored in her experiences—not money or outward milestones.
“My 17 year old self had these dreams of, you know, being an actress, living in California, working with certain people...My success was written in experience.”
— Alicia [14:35]
5. Creative Clarity and Desire
[15:16–18:09]
- Alicia intentionally seeks experiences that feel alive and collaborative (like working repeatedly with the same team), rather than chasing external validation.
- Setting specific yet soulful intentions (e.g., working with Ryan Murphy) gives her clarity, opens her to possibilities, and rekindles excitement.
“There’s something about working with the same director, writer, other actors...That’s why I want a series. I’m craving a creative, collaborative experience.”
— Alicia [16:13]
6. Emotional Recovery, Vulnerability, and Boundaries
[18:10–29:23]
- Julie and Alicia delve into emotional recovery and the hard work of becoming more self-aware.
- Alicia recounts learning to process her emotions, identify patterns, and allow herself to feel—rather than dissociate or please others.
- She adopts boundaries and delayed responses to honor her feelings before reacting.
“Being fully me, I am an emotional being. I need to take time to sit with myself to see how I really feel about things...I can’t fully be me [if] I don’t know how to respond immediately in something because I have come to realize I’m a delayed responder.”
— Alicia [25:55]
7. Grieving Growth and Outgrowing Relationships
[29:23–36:56]
- As she evolves, Alicia has grieved relationships that no longer fit—especially those where she played “vanilla” to please others.
- She stresses the importance of internal validation and letting go of the need to be witnessed or advised through every process.
- The ability to set boundaries and authentically be herself, even if it means losing relationships, is framed as a sign of true evolution.
“If you are becoming vanilla so that everybody can like and accept you, then you’re going to attract toppings and things that you might not actually even really care for.”
— Alicia [33:17]
8. Family Patterns and Personal Accountability
[36:03–42:41]
- Alicia shares insights from her relationship with her father, realizing much of her adult behavior was about being accepted.
- She describes how cathartic it has been to send love, release expectations, and accept relationships as they are.
“A big part of the relationship I’m talking about is I was presenting to get that love and attention from my dad...He didn’t ever really fully know me, and that’s a sad thing. But that’s not his fault. That was how I was operating in that relationship.”
— Alicia [35:18]
9. Embracing Self-Focus & Being Called “Selfish”
[43:51–44:54]
- Both discuss reclaiming “selfishness” as a necessary practice for growth and well-being, learning to let go of guilt about prioritizing themselves.
- Alicia celebrates being called selfish as a badge of honor, signifying her commitment to boundaries.
“I’ve been called selfish in the last couple of years...and you know what? It made me feel real good.”
— Alicia [44:06]
10. Redefining Friendship and Community
[46:34–51:09]
- Alicia notes her friend circle has grown smaller but more intentional—surrounded by confident, solution-oriented women holding sacred space for growth.
- She values authenticity, depth, and support over surface-level connection.
“A lot of my close friendships are very powerful, influential, confident, selfish women. And that’s where I’m feeling really celebrated.”
— Alicia [48:01]
11. What it Means to Be a Woman of Influence
[51:09–52:13]
- For Alicia, true influence is about lighting your own path so brightly that others are inspired to do the same, rather than seeking followers.
“A woman of influence is someone who is cherishing and lighting their own path. Therefore, that light is so bright that others can kind of then follow their lead...It’s just turning that light on fully.”
— Alicia [51:18]
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
- “Real influence isn’t built in the algorithm, it’s embodied in your identity.” (Julie Solomon, [00:21])
- “Our bowl of chips. With slash.” (Julie + Alicia joke about their first meeting, [01:05])
- “The clarity comes with stillness.” (Alicia, [04:01])
- “The acceptance is the answer to all of my suffering. I don’t need to force myself out of this.” (Alicia, [18:21])
- “It is safe to be fully me.” (Alicia shares her mantra, [25:55])
- “Boundaries used to be like, I’m going to tell you what I need so that you can behave in a way that makes me feel safe versus, like, no, I have a boundary for myself and I’m not going to do that anymore.” (Alicia, [34:20])
- “If you spot it, you got it.” (Julie and Alicia, [52:14])
Timestamps for Key Segments
- 00:51–03:46 – Their friendship and the reason behind the podcast rebrand
- 04:57–08:13 – Navigating the “itch” for change, valleys, and periods of boredom
- 11:05–15:16 – Redefining and tracking personal success
- 18:09–22:44 – Vulnerability in creative process; learning presence
- 29:23–36:03 – Grieving relational shifts and boundaries
- 43:51–44:54 – Embracing “selfishness”
- 51:09–52:13 – Defining what it means to be a woman of influence
Episode Tone
Candid, warm, and compassionate—Julie and Alicia’s conversation is marked by deep trust, reflection, wit, and an unwavering commitment to growth. The episode delivers truth bombs with empathy and invites listeners to embrace their own evolution, doubts, and desires.
Summary Takeaway
This episode is a masterclass in soulful career evolution, redefining success, and permission-giving vulnerability. Both women model what real influence looks like: living fully, setting boundaries, and lighting a path others can’t help but follow. Essential listening for women leaders, creators, and anyone facing the friction of their own next chapter.