The Truth About Money, Fear, and Control in Business with Kate Northrup

Summary

Podcast Summary: Woman of Influence with Julie Solomon Episode: The Truth About Money, Fear, and Control in Business with Kate Northrup
Date: April 1, 2026
Host: Julie Solomon
Guest: Kate Northrup

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Episode Overview

In this powerful and deeply personal episode, Julie Solomon welcomes back author and entrepreneur Kate Northrup for an honest conversation about the intersections of money, fear, control, and feminine leadership in business. Kate shares the evolution of her work, from her early days teaching about money to developing "Relaxed Money," her unique methodology focused on healing the hidden nervous system patterns dictating financial behavior. The episode is rich with anecdotes, insight, and actionable takeaways for women entrepreneurs wanting to move past hustle and into a more sustainable, sovereign relationship with wealth.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Redefining Influence and Embodied Leadership

• Kate’s Definition of Influence:
  • "People won't remember what you say, they'll remember how you made them feel. To me, that's influence." (Kate, 02:43)
  • Influence is about the frequency and energy (“vibration”) we radiate, superseding words and actions.
• Authenticity as Magnetic Power:
  • Authenticity, or congruence between your inside and outside, generates true magnetism and influence.
  • Institute of HeartMath data supports the measurable power of authenticity (19:07–20:38).

2. Personal Evolution: From Money A Love Story to Do Less and Beyond

• Kate’s Journey (03:27–07:52):

  • Early work: “Money A Love Story” (2013), followed by “Do Less” (2019).
  • Major life challenges, including her husband’s serious health struggle, catalyzed a shift from “do more” patterns to embracing rest and non-performance.
  • Key realization: Stress addiction is not required for financial success.

• Breaking Old Patterns:

  • With her therapist's guidance, Kate spent 90 days resisting her default of overwork: “For 90 days, I had my little menu of choices…not performance based, not striving based…” (07:53)
  • Result: Financial goals still met without launching anything new or hustling.

3. The “No Boulder” Metaphor: Releasing Performance, Control, and Survival Habits

• Onsite Experience & Internal Barriers (14:21–16:21):

  • Julie shares an experiential metaphor from group therapy (“the boulder”): “What if there is no boulder?” (15:04)
  • Parallels drawn to unnecessary effort and over-functioning in business, especially around money and control.

• Choosing to Relax – Even Without Evidence of Safety:

  • When external circumstances were chaotic, Kate chose to relax first, rather than waiting for things to be “fixed.” (16:21–17:47)
  • Unexpected results: Most successful launch ever, increased magnetism, all with a minimal team—even amidst fresh crises.

4. Introducing the "Relaxed Money" Methodology & Hidden Money Ecosystem

• Why "Relaxed Money" Now? (21:20–27:10)

  • Shift away from just “holding” more money (responsibility)—the deeper need for women is to feel held.
  • The “hidden money ecosystem”: Comprises both internal (nervous system wiring, subconscious beliefs) and external (financial infrastructure, systems) components.
  • Most try to “fix” finances at the output level (make more, spend less), but without healing internal patterns or repairing foundational systems, changes don’t stick.

• Memorable Insight:

  • "If money were as easy as math, we would all have figured it out by now." (Kate, 30:10)

5. Who Is Relaxed Money For? Addressing Shame, Generational Trauma, and Unconscious Set Points

• Audience:

  • Anyone whose “money thermostat” is set below confidence, trust, and enoughness (33:53).
  • Money issues are qualitative, not quantitative—the experience of money matters more than the amount.

• Shame and the High-Achieving Woman:

  • Many successful women feel embarrassed at their hidden patterns or struggles with money despite external success (30:49–33:32).
  • Family lineage and unhealed trauma can quietly cap financial growth (32:29–33:32; 46:04–47:02).

• Real Results:

  • The average student in Kate's program increased their net worth by 167% in six months (35:47–35:51).

6. The Money Thermostat: Why Earning More Doesn’t Always Heal Financial Dysregulation

• Nervous System Set Points:

  • “Our nervous system doesn't do math and it doesn't know what money is. Our set point has nothing to do with a number. It has everything to do with a feeling.” (Kate, 40:49–41:03)
  • “Money is an amplifier…If you add more money to an ecosystem that's not healthy, you will not get a healthy, gorgeous, flourishing garden.” (Kate, 41:46)

• Common Scenarios:

  • Underperformance, upper limits, guilt for having/earning more, or making more but not feeling any better (40:42–45:33).

7. Why Women Need More Money: The Global Wealth Transfer

• Kate’s Mission:
  • "When women have more resources, statistically speaking, the world is a better place." (Kate, 47:09)
  • The coming “great wealth transfer”: Trillions moving into the hands of women by 2030.
  • Women tend to invest in family, health, and communities, and make better financial stewards and more effective philanthropists (47:09–49:16).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

“People won't remember what you say, they'll remember how you made them feel. To me, that's influence.”
— Kate Northrup (02:43)

“Stress and pressure are not essential ingredients to thrive financially.”
— Kate Northrup (09:47)

“If money were as easy as math, we would all have figured it out by now.”
— Kate Northrup (30:10)

“It is not about the amount of money. It is about the way the amount of money feels.”
— Kate Northrup (33:53)

“Our nervous system doesn't do math and it doesn't know what money is. So I don't actually believe our set point has anything to do with a number. It has everything to do with a feeling.”
— Kate Northrup (41:03)

“Money is an amplifier… If you add more money to an ecosystem that's not healthy, you will not get a healthy, gorgeous, flourishing garden.”
— Kate Northrup (41:46)

“When women have more resources, statistically speaking, the world is a better place.”
— Kate Northrup (47:09)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:49: Julie welcomes Kate and reflects on their long friendship and evolving work.
• 01:48: Kate defines influence as frequency, energy, and how others feel around you.
• 03:27: Kate recounts her business/life evolution: from money teaching to “Do Less,” inspired by family upheaval.
• 07:53: The 90-day anti-overwork challenge and what she learned about stress, money, and sufficiency.
• 15:04: Discussion of the “boulder” metaphor and how it relates to self-imposed burdens.
• 19:07: First launch of Relaxed Money—breakthroughs despite external chaos; authenticity becomes a superpower.
• 21:33: Kate introduces “hidden money ecosystem”—merging the energetic and engineering parts of financial life.
• 30:10: On why money is more than math; addressing shame in successful women.
• 33:53: Who Relaxed Money is for, regardless of income, stage or shame.
• 35:47: Data: 167% net worth increase in 6 months for participants.
• 40:49: Explaining the “money thermostat” and why earning more doesn't guarantee peace or happiness.
• 47:09: The case for women and wealth—why it matters socially and globally.
• 50:24: Details on Kate’s upcoming free training “Good with Money” with a custom 90-day roadmap.

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Action Items & Next Steps

• For Listeners:

  • Consider your own “money ecosystem”: Where are your hidden leaks or survival patterns?
  • Identify where you might be holding boulders that don’t exist; what would it feel like to drop them?
  • Learn more about “Relaxed Money” or attend Kate’s free 3-day Good with Money training for a personalized financial reset.

• For Further Support:

  • Check show notes for a link to Kate’s upcoming training.
  • Subscribe to Julie Solomon's email circle for more resources and behind-the-scenes leadership content.

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Closing Thoughts

This episode is a must-listen for high-achieving women at any stage of business who are tired of performative hustle, ready to face deep-rooted money beliefs, and hungry for a new, sovereign model of financial leadership and agency. Kate’s warmth, vulnerability, and science-backed approach deliver a message that feeling safe and free with money, not just earning more, is the true currency of impact.

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Resource Links:

• [Relaxed Money/Good with Money Training – in show notes]
• Julie Solomon’s Email Circle

End of summary

Transcript

[A]

Foreign.

[B]

Welcome to Woman of Influence. I'm Julie Solomon, and this is where high level women come to recalibrate their message, realign their leadership, and rise into the next era of impact. If you're ready to align your visibility with your true authority, if you're called to speak, speak to women at the level you now lead. If you're ready for your business to feel as elevated as the woman running it, this is your space. Because real influence isn't built in the algorithm. It's embodied in your identity. Let's get started.

[C]

Hello, Ms. Kate.

[A]

Hi.

[C]

It's so good to have you on.

[A]

Thanks for having me.

[C]

Hi. I feel like I had you on, like, way back.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

And it did.

[A]

It was 2019 when my book Do Less came out.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Yes. It's been seven years.

[C]

Seven years.

[A]

And that was you trucking along seven years later, still here.

[C]

Haven't missed a week, just trucking along. But a lot has changed since then. So back then, it was audio just a little bit. Just a little bit. It was audio only. So we did it virtually. I don't even think I saw you. No, it was literally.

[A]

Literally audio only.

[C]

It was a different name. The podcast was called the Influencer podcast at the time. And so here we are now in a studio, a beautiful studio in Nashville.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Both living here.

[A]

Now we're neighbors.

[C]

Meeting years ago. And now we're. Now we're neighbors. And so many things. And dear, dear friends. So I want to kick off by asking you a question, where you are in your life right now. I want to know what depends on. Does influence mean to you?

[A]

Influence. I have been really thinking about this a lot and researching about it a lot from a biology perspective and from a physics perspective. So what I've been learning about people and power is that our greatest power is actually the frequency that we radiate out into the world. And people have long thought that's like a woo woo idea. But the data behind our frequency and the vibration and the energy that we're transmitting is very real. And it is our most important point of power, in my opinion, because it supersedes anything we say and it even supersedes our actions. And so that phrase that people say, people won't remember what you say, they'll remember how you made them feel. To me, that's influence.

[C]

That's good. Maya Angelou.

[A]

Okay, great.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Thank you for that.

[B]

So good.

[C]

Okay, so with that, how you make them feel, how has that shown up in your evolution of your business now? Like you said, we met seven years ago when your. It was your second book, right?

[A]

Yes, it was my second book.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Second book came out, Do Less, which is phenomenal. But a lot has changed and evolved since then from where you live to, I think, in some ways even who you serve to.

[A]

To some degree.

[C]

To some degree to how you enact that influence in your life and your business and in your day to day. So take us on a little bit of that evolution journey.

[A]

My first book was called Money A Love Story, and it came out in 2013, the year I turned 30. So I was a little baby author. And it was a book on money, obviously, and I had a wonderful trajectory. We had a course called the Money Love Course. We served over 5,000 students with that program. And there was a moment when my first daughter was born that everything in my life changed and I started a real. A new body of work. And that was what Do Less was. And I had a membership for seven years. It was wildly successful. And I am the queen of quitting things when they're working. And I do love that about myself. Sometimes it drives my husband crazy because he's also my business partner and he's like, whoa, this is working. Yeah. So the money. The Money Love course was working. We were trucking right along. And then I had something new in me that I wanted to say and share, and it wouldn't leave me alone. And so I started teaching about how we could have more by doing less and cyclical alignment for women and using our cycle as the best blueprint for our greatest creation and our greatest creativity and being able to get a lot more done with a lot less effort through the momentum of cycles. And that was absolutely a wonderful chapter. And then so many things happened. And I'll. I'll try to tell an abridged version of the story, but basically 2021 came and my husband got really sick for the second time. And he suffered from something called topical or like, topical and oral steroid withdrawal. It's called Red Man Syndrome. And there's no known cure other than detoxing. So he had, you know, had a rash and used some cream and, you know, like the dermatologist prescribed. And when he stopped, because steroids don't actually cure the root, it came back with a vengeance. And then some, and then some and then some. So for seven years, off and on, he was in an excruciating pain, dropping crazy amounts of weight. He lost like £40 in one month. He couldn't stand up. And his. And I won't get into all the disgusting details but like, his skin was falling off over and over and over again. So you can just imagine how horrifying and painful that was. And so we had a two and a half year old, we had a five year old. We're business partners, so, like, we hold everything together. And suddenly, again, for the second time, he dropped out. And I went into total default setting. Because in times of stress, we all go to our deepest wiring, we all go into default mode. The compensatory strategies that got wired in when we were really young, that kept us safe and survival, you know, in survival then, but may not actually be contributing to our thriving as adults. So that pattern for me was do more, perform more, go harder, put in more effort, do more things. Hilariously, previously two years I had, you know, published a book called Do Less. But I just like, like, oh my gosh, my family's falling apart. You know, it was the pandemic. My mother was being canceled publicly. People were trying to hold me accountable. Life was just so intense. And we had moved to Miami for Mike's healing. And so we were also now paying for two lives. We were paying for our previous life in Maine and then this new life in Miami. And I was so unbelievably stressed out. And I was talking to my coach therapist, and she helped me to see how deeply I was in this groove of performance pressure, stress. And she had me do an exercise. And for 90 days, she said, for 90 days, you're going to notice, launch anything new, not do anything new. Because my way had always been, I'll just come up with a new offer, I'll do this campaign, I'll cross sell, I'll upsell, I'll downsell, I like, I can market my way out of any dark hole, right?

[C]

Yes.

[A]

And she just said, okay, just for 90 days, I want you to have a small menu of choices that, that you have that are not performance based, that are not striving based. And I had either 90 days or an amount of money that I felt comfortable going in the hole on. Like, in terms of what if the business falls apart? Because that was the core fear was like, everything's gonna fall apart. Which in many ways, my life already was honestly falling apart. And the business was kind of the last shred of control that I had. And so for 90 days, I had my little menu of choices. Every time I was like, I'm gonna launch a campaign. I have a new offer. I'm gonna do a song and dance on the Internet. It was like, nope, we're just delivering what We've promised to our customers. And my menu was I could call a friend. I could take a walk. I could watch daytime television. I could go scream into a pillow in the closet. These were, like, my choices when I felt that urge to do something.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

To produce.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And it was a really painful chapter. It was really every. To. To break that pattern of my profound stress addiction was really, really hard. And it felt like I was dying. However, what was so cool is. And I thought we would be financially destitute. I was like, if I stop running, I will end up on the street. You're under children.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You're under a bridge.

[C]

Yep.

[A]

What was so fascinating is after 90 days, we did not go into the hole at all. We had hit all of our financial goals and then some, and everything was fine. I was like, wait a second. So you're telling me stress and pressure are not essential ingredients to thrive financially.

[C]

Whoa.

[A]

And now I had this lived experience, and it changed my wiring. And. And then the following fall, the conversation about money started whispering to me again. Because Hay House, my publisher, had wanted another book about money after I came out with the first one in 2013, because the book did really well.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And I was like, oh, well, the thing is, I don't have anything else to say about money. So I was like, no. But now I had something else to say. And so 2022, I came back to the money conversation because I knew that I could coherently share something meaningful, not just come up with the next new thing that my publisher wanted.

[B]

I am so excited to share this, especially for those of you who tune into the podcast every week and are ready to actually start putting a lot of this work that you're doing into really intentional action. We just opened up something really special inside the growth collective, which is my messaging membership. And right now, you can join and try it out for just $1 your first week when you use the link in the show notes. Now, this is a special link just for my podcast listeners. And inside the collective, you'll get access to the exact frameworks my high level clients use to create magnetic content that converts. So I am talking about power and pleasure content, mirror messaging, magnetic conversion method, and so much more, all built into an easy step by step path that helps you turn your clarity into consistent sales. And if that wasn't magical enough, all of this has also been updated into a custom GPT prompt to make creating any kind of messaging that you need so much easier and so much faster. It is literally as plug and play as you can get also every month you get access to a live group coaching call with me where we refine in real time your message together and get you out of your head and back into your heart and your momentum. So if you've been listening and thinking, okay, I know my message could be clear. I just need someone to show me how. I need this to be easy for me. I need something that can meet me where I'm at. This is your sign. Head to the link in the show notes and join the growth collective for just $1 your first week and start that week with Clarity Connection, an incredible community and conversions today. I cannot wait to see you inside.

[C]

Okay, so you brought us to 2022. And what I also think that was really fascinating about this time too is like your, your beautiful story of how that was playing out in your own like family unit and dynamic. But I also remember that season and for anyone that has been in the online education and online course space, online marketing space that we are in before COVID and if you had any kind of substantial foundational business happening at that time. What I also saw during that 2022 era is that so many people were doing that. It was like so many people, instead of just having this one offer and going all in on this one offer, I did it myself. It's like we were kind of throwing all these different things up. And I don't know if it was like this way, like you said, to try to control because there were so many things that were out of our control during that time. But what was fascinating is how it's like on the global scale, we feel that we see that happening, then obviously that's gonna affect us in any way that it does. But the flip side of that and you being able to see. Well, actually when I didn't default to the stress, to the performance, to the doing, and actually just allowed what is to be and retrained my nervous system to see a different way, a different way was shown. And then that really ended up being, I think, what is the catalyst and the precipice of the work that you do now, 100% and kind of what happened with that, which I want, I want to get to that in a moment. But your story just reminded me because I want to talk a little bit about, because I think this kind of tees us up really nicely for going into the. To the larger money conversation about how those deep rooted core origin story belief systems really dictate how we show up in the world. You and I got the greatest gift in the World by our friend Ali Trowbridge to go to on site together back in October. And then randomly they put us in the same group, which it's like, if you've been to on site, you're probably like, whoa, that's crazy. Because for two people to know each other and then be in the same small group is, like, not very cool.

[A]

Yeah, you're not the person I knew the best out of the entire group. I was like, oh, hi. Hi, let's get into it.

[C]

And now we're in this small group together, going in the trenches. And so, you know, I won't get into all of the details of what happens there, but it's, you know, it's really intense. Deep, deep therapy. A lot of family constellation work, a lot of ifs work. But there was one instance that I was going through that I was pushing a boulder. This. This imaginary boulder. We went through the process, and then at the end of the process, I remember our incredible therapist saying, julie, what happened to the boulder? Because it was in front of me and I was pushing it. I was like, I don't know, maybe it's still there. Maybe it disappeared. Maybe it went away. And she was like, but that's. That's the whole point, right? Like, you're okay and you're safe. And so I would love to hear from you from that experience of.

[A]

It's just, so what if there is no boulder?

[B]

What if there is no boulder?

[C]

Same thing with, like, it takes me back to the story that you just shared of like 100. What if there is no thing that you need to perform or that you need to do? What if it actually doesn't exist? So how has that shown up? And I have so many different analogies with the boulders in my life. Right? Like, that's such a strong metaphor for how when I'm not really coming in my highest self and my most sovereign wisdom based self, that it's always this boulder that I have to push, whether that's a money boulder, a control boulder, you know, a parenting boulder, whatever it is. So for you, in 2022, when you had this reclamation, you really saw that there could be another way. How were you able to then start to remove whatever these other proverbial boulders were? You know, like, even the simple things. Kate of like, how did you go from all these different offers to being like, okay, I'm just gonna focus on selling one thing? How did you go from I've got my husband who is chronically sick to now how do I. How do I move? And Dance within the dynamic of this that I can't control. I have two children that I'm trying to raise in this brand new city. Like, how were you able to navigate this now with the new intel that you had?

[A]

What was so amazing to me is at the early, you know, so basically spring 2021, there was no evidence in my life that it was a good time to relax. Right? Husband sick, global pandemic, paying for two lives. I'm now running the business without my business partner, parenting two small children away from my support network. People all up in my DMs trying to hooda what a. And and so it's really seemed like not a good time to relax. But I just decided, okay, through that experiment, what if instead of waiting until the external world gives me permission to relax, what if I just relaxed now and it worked. And I had this evidence now that that actually could create a financial inflow. Then plot twist. We're in the middle of launching what now is my signature program for the first time. We're doing this ramp up to the free workshop. It was really fun. There's a lot of things that happened in the in between, but I'll just simplify. We had the smallest team we had ever had. We were running super lean. My husband had come back into the business because I was like, babe, you have been so sick. And then he also had fallen off a bike and broke his knee.

[C]

And did he get hit by a car?

[A]

Well, yeah. So right in the pre launch, he got hit by a car. And so I was like, oh, okay. Also, this is happening. And it was bad. Like it was. Luckily his. His brain was fine and his spine was fine, but it was a, you know, it was a traumatic event, obviously, and he had to go to the trauma center and multiple surgeries and a very long road to recovery, which quite frankly, he's still in in some ways. And again, it was like, okay, universe, what's the message here? Like, what. What is the message? And it really was the same thing, which was, okay, instead of us waiting for Mike to be able to walk, instead of us waiting for us to have made a certain amount of money, instead of us waiting until our kids are sleeping through the night or out of diapers or out of. Until we've moved into the perfect house or, you know, our bathroom fixtures are the right color, whatever, whatever thing it is, instead of us waiting, what if we figured out a way to feel the way we want to feel now and make that the path. And so what was so cool is that Very first launch of Relaxed Money was the easiest thing we've ever done. We had no ads, we had no affiliates.

[C]

It's amazing.

[A]

And people were just coming out of the woodwork. The magnetism. So we talk about influence and this energetic magnetism because what we had was authenticity. Authenticity actually transmits the clearest, loudest, most powerful, most magnetic signal. We, we know this from the Institute of HeartMath and the incredible work that they've done around measuring the electromagnetic field of the heart. When we are telling the truth, meaning who we're being on the outside is a match for who we are on the inside. Our values are aligned with how we're acting in the world. And people can just feel, oh yeah, that person is who they say they are. That's coherency. And all of a sudden people were just flocking to us. And again, it was basically me and Mike and like maybe two part time contractors, like we're talking skeleton team. And we did our biggest launch to date. We did, you know, an almost seven figure launch in that with so few bells and whistles I can't even explain. So I was like, oh, this experience is the proof of the program I'm about to teach. It was so meta. And, and the fact that Mike got hit by a car in the middle of it was like, this is a really good story.

[C]

Well, and it's such a test.

[A]

But I was like, this is testing me. This is the test of the curriculum. And I was like, this shit works. Yeah.

[C]

Like, and am I going to default?

[A]

And I didn't.

[C]

That was the transference of the authenticity.

[A]

It was like, really? How are you going to be now? How are you going to be under this level of pressure? And we just kept like, it was really. It was obviously a hard time, but it was also very joyful and silly and like, you know what? We are not going to let this take us out. Yeah.

[C]

Oh, and that was when?

[A]

Four years ago, 2022. He got hit by a car. October 25th, 2022.

[C]

Okay, so four years ago. And then. And here we are today.

[A]

Here we are today.

[C]

Relaxed money.

[A]

Relaxed Money.

[C]

So good.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Such a good name.

[A]

Thanks.

[C]

Okay, walk us through this methodology and why. I mean, we know why you. Because you just shared why you have been assigned to bring this out.

[A]

I was assigned.

[C]

You were assigned, mama. Whether you wanted to be or not. But why now? And. And why this way?

[A]

Yeah. So for people who know how to play the game and when I mean by that is like know how to check the boxes, know how to look good, know how to carry a lot, know how to be the responsible one, know how to hold a lot together. For a lot of people, what often happens is we don't actually feel held. We're doing so much holding. And then there's a lot of conversation around money and wealth, which I love, love all those conversations, but those conversations are about learning how to hold more money or learning how to hold more wealth. And, you know, I think AI is such an interesting reflection of the collective consciousness. Every time I am talking to AI about my work, it wants to talk about holding money and holding wealth. And I'm like, my people don't need to learn how to hold anything else. They need to learn how to feel held. And when we have systems, not only our own nervous system, like our wiring between our brain and our body is a system. It is a network of neural connections that make thoughts, behaviors, and physiological responses automatic. So we don't have to use our cognitive capacity to be making all these micro adjustments all day. So it's absolutely wonderful. However, it is not serving us if our wiring is in the default mode for survival. So that's one system, and then the other system is our actual financial systems. And I call this the hidden money ecosystem. Ecosystem. And what I mean by hidden is the fact that our internal systems around money, our internal relationship with money, that is primarily mitigated, run by our nervous system, it is primarily unconscious and certainly subconscious. That's invisible. No one is. I mean, unless you were doing a brain scan, no one will ever see it, right? It's invisible, but you feel it. And it really is between us and money, and it's between us and God. And then there's the other part of it, which is. So that's the energetic part that you really can't see. No one can see it. Then there's the engineering part. And the engineering part of your hidden money ecosystem is the actual systems, or lack thereof, the infrastructure, the architecture behind your financial life. It's the cash flow goes here, and this is how I track this, and that goes there, and this allocation is for that. And, you know, and whether or not essentially money has been assigned a job before it comes in, whether or not money is going to feel safe in the container that you've created for it. Now put together the engineering. The engineering's over here. The engineering and the energetics come together, that forms your hidden money ecosystem, and that creates the expression of money in your life. The. The expression in your financial life. The mistake that most people are making is that they are trying to upgrade their financial life at the level of the expression, right at the level of the scene. And so they go first for the more income they go. And. But if you have a bucket with leaks in it, with holes in it, which is what happens for most people when they have not done the repatterning around their relationship with money, and when they don't have the financial infrastructure, you add more water to that bucket, you just are leaking water out faster. So I don't want people to go after bigger launches or more money until they've at least begun to start plugging the leaks. Because then when they start plugging the leaks, two things happen. One, when they get the bigger paycheck, it sticks and then it grows and then they can become a steward as opposed to it just like leaking out. Where did that go?

[C]

Right?

[A]

And, and then number two, what's so cool is that when we have created a strong, safe container, money starts to come in more abundantly. Because every exchange we have, every financial exchange we have is relational. It is between us and another human being. Money doesn't just fall out of the sky. It is not numbers in a computer. It is a choice from another human who has made a decision to invest that money with you or to, or to transfer that money or whatever. And that's relational. And that comes back to influence. How do they feel in your presence? How do they feel in your field? And when you have the confidence, the coherency, the clarity, the self trust around money, people start to pay you and you don't have to try nearly as hard. And it's really magical. So I really didn't answer your question, but I think I gave you like enough of the, the, the big picture. And, and what, like that's what makes this work really different. There's a lot of people who will teach you how to make more money. And I love that. And there's a lot of people who will teach you how to manage your money better. Love that too.

[C]

You have people for those.

[A]

Yeah, well, I actually do both of those things. Because if those two things are not rooted with that hidden money ecosystem piece.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

They don't either work or they do, but then they don't stick or sustain or they don't create any change in the way you feel. So that's why the hidden piece is so important. And that's, that's where we start. It's less sexy, but it does create really sexy results.

[B]

Starting anything new, especially in our business, can be really exciting and also completely terrifying.

[C]

If I'm being honest.

[B]

I remember so many moments in my business when those what ifs would creep in. What if it doesn't work out? What if no one buys what if I'm a failure?

[C]

What if, what if, what if?

[B]

And for so many of you listening who are building physical product brands, those questions are so real. But I know that having the right platform behind you, helping you make those decisions can make the leap feel so much easier. And that is why I love Shopify. It is a commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world and 10% of all e commerce in the US from household names to brands just getting started. I love Shopify. One of the reasons that Shopify has been such a long term partner of this podcast is that it helps you build truly a beautiful store with ready to use templates, create product descriptions and page headlines with their easy AI tools and just to be able to reach your customers through really simple email and social campaigns. They have it all. If those what ifs are currently keeping you stuck from making a move in your business, this is where Shopify can come in and help. It's time to turn those what ifs into with Shopify today you can sign up for your $1 per month trial today at shopify.cominfluencer go to shopify.cominfluencer that's shopify.cominfluencer.

[C]

well, and I think too that allows you because once you now have this embodied and part of your understanding and your belief system and how you go to to engage in that exchange of money, then when you're working with CPAs and wealth advisors and accountants who don't have that, I'm sure you're coming to the table with a completely different 100.

[A]

Well, you and I both know Caitlin Carlson of Theory Planning Partners. She's my financial advisor, financial planner and she and I are also friends. So we talk all the time about people and their money. And she's like I wish every one of my clients would do your work because it would make my work so much easier with them and so much more effective because it's all the stuff that people don't deal with that no financial advisor, no wealth advisor, no cpa. They don't know. They a don't even know it exists because usually numbers people are not thinking about people's relationship with money. They're just like thinking about the math.

[C]

Right?

[A]

But if money were as easy as math we would all have figured it out by now. But, but it's the deeper undercurrents that are running the show and then we wonder why our financial life is the way it is. And, and for my people, what's really tricky about it is that they think they should have it figured out by now. And they look so good on the outside that there's a shame that they're quietly spiraling behind the scenes. And it doesn't have to be dramatic. It's not like they're getting evicted.

[C]

Right.

[A]

Necessarily. It's more, it's much more subtle.

[C]

Yeah. Than that. When. That's why I kind of. I. It goes to. My next question for you. Is. Is like, who is really relax Money for. Before you answer that though, I want to go ahead and say. And I, I think I, I definitely told Mike this. I don't know if I told you this, but like last fall I was like, next time, relax. Money is open. I'm taking it.

[A]

Amazing.

[C]

Because again, going back to on site, you and I did this incredible therapeutic experience in October. And one of the things that there's so much that unravels for months and months after doing something like that. And one of the things that came up for me was like, oh, even though I am someone who is 41 years old and I have made almost eight figures to date in sales, like, I know how to make money, I know how to market, I know how to sell. I know how to make that exchange of money happen. What is also very, very true about an avatar like me at the same time is that I also have a lineage of women in my family who were never taught about money, who were never taken care of when it came to money. And there is a deep rooted trauma in this idea that money isn't safe or that it's going to be taken away from me the second that I get it or that I am not safe to hold it and to steward it and to play with it and to be with it. And so even though I am someone who can make a lot of money and figure it out, there have been so many times along my entrepreneurial journey where it's like two steps forward, one step back. Two steps forward, one step back. And then if you're also someone that's, that's watching this or listening to this and you have a partner or a spouse, they're also coming to the table with their money.

[A]

Ish.

[C]

And everything that they're coming with. And so what it really showed me because I remember calling you one day and I was like, I need help with this thing. This situation's happening with money and, and a, you know, team member and you walk me through this beautiful process.

[A]

And then.

[C]

Do you remember that? Yes, it was a beautiful process. And then I went through my own kind of somatic thing of creating this money tree for myself of like a family tree, but it was a money tree. And really what it showed me was like, okay, now I have awareness, but I just need to sign up for Kate's program because I don't know what to do with all of this. But it's going to say that, you know, I loved what you just said, is that there. There can be so much embarrassment and shame that when outside looking in, it's like, well, I look like I should know this already. I look like that I should have been born, like, with this information implanted into my brain or with this understanding. And so with that to say, and I'm just calling myself out, that if someone is watching this or listening to this and relates to someone like me, you probably need this because I need this. Who else needs this?

[A]

This is such a good question. And thank you for the bravery and vulnerability because we can't improve the parts of our life that could use some love without first saying, oh, I don't know how to do this on my own. I want to say there's literally nobody who was born being good with money.

[C]

Right?

[A]

Not one person.

[C]

Right.

[A]

It's a skill and anyone can learn it. And you and I grew up in very different backgrounds, and I also was not taught. And the modeling that I received, which created my, what I call our money nervous system thermostats, you sort of just described yours. Everyone's going to have a different one. And I really want to be super clear for people listening to answer the who else is this for? This is for anyone who has a thermostat setting with money that is anything other than confidence, trust, and a sense of enough. And I don't know anybody who didn't grow up in an environment that did not imprint them with some level of chaos, conflict, fear, scarcity, pressure, you know, name whatever word. But pretty much everyone I have ever met has some kind of programming that's related to constriction and contraction around money. Even people who actually grew up with extraordinary wealth. And that's really important. The work that I do is not about the amount of money. It is about the way the amount of money feels. It's not quantitative. It is qualitative. What's so cool, though, is when we do the qualitative work, you get the quantitative results, you get the receipts that you can actually add up. And one of the Things that I'm really proud of. And then I will answer your question is that we just did. We just looked at our data and our average student who reports in in six months has increased their net worth by 167%. Yeah.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

So it's not just like, oh, I'm gonna, you know, generally vaguely feel better. Like, there's real life data. Data. So.

[C]

And how long did that take?

[A]

That's in a six month span.

[C]

Six months.

[B]

Six months.

[A]

Six months. And so I also want to say, especially for people who feel like they're behind, like they should be further along by now, like, you know, I feel that way, quite frankly.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Gosh, I was making a much bigger than average income in my early 20s. If I had just freaking not spent it on shoes and a million personal development programs, which actually, I am grateful. Those, those have served me well. I'm Slash that second part. But the shoes, I don't have them anymore.

[C]

Right.

[A]

The personal development I carry with me every day. Yes, it's a good investment. But anyway, so other people, you know, it doesn't have to be. Some people come into my world and they're going through a divorce and. Or there's been a job loss and a huge life moment. And it's like, I have to get this handled because it is on fire. And this is a wonderful place for those people. And then there's another crew, and the other crew is like, actually, my life does look really good. However, in the middle of the night at 3am, I wake up panicking. Or every conversation I have with my spouse about money ends in a fight, a stalemate, or resentment. And those are examples of the quieter conflicts and the quieter leaks that will eat away at the foundation of your life. Because here's what I want people to understand. We don't have to think about money all the time. But if you're not handling your money, you will be thinking about money all the time. But if you get this stuff handled, it can really sit in the back burner and then you can live your life. So it's not about making money, this super duper focus of your life. It is one season. Come sit with me for one season. 13 money dates will upgrade your financial life. And then it can sit on the back burner where you're tending to it. Like if you're making like a nice little simmering soup.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, you stir it every now and again, but you don't have to be in the kitchen all day, right?

[C]

Slow and low, baby.

[A]

Slow and low.

[C]

Just Let it, just let it do its thing.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And it also reminds me too, just this is a really simple metaphor of like, you can read about how to drive a car and you can understand the concepts of like I conceptually understand how to drive a car, how it works, how it goes, the gas that you put in it, how it stops, the mechanics to a degree. But unless I physically sit down, put my seatbelt on and start the engine and actually drive, I am not going to know how to drive the car.

[A]

Totally.

[C]

And I think that that has been just such a huge evolution of just my own growth, my own self development, my own self awareness is that with every level we go up, there's always going to be a next thing. There's always going to be another layer to the onion to peel back. And, and for me, like that's kind of how I equate it with like. You could have even been somebody that has done a lot of work with yourself when it comes to money. You could be somebody that has made a lot of money. You can be somebody that has accountants and fight, you know, financial people that handle all of this for you. But that's not what you're talking about. No, you're talking about that thermostat piece. And I heard something once, I'm probably going to botch it. So please, if it's true or fine tune it for me. But I heard of this idea that with this internal thermostat that we have with money, we're always only going to be able to make the amount of money that that thermostat is set to or to hold and steward the amount of money that that thermostat is set to. So let's say if I'm a $250,000 a year earner and if that is my belief systems and then that is how I go about the world. Due to my traumas and my thoughts and my ceilings and upper limits. Let's say that I, I make 250 000, but then I start to make a little bit more than that. If I don't have the work that you're telling me I need to have, I am going to figure out a way. Let's say I make 350 000. I'm going to figure out a way to lose, get rid of that a hundred thousand off the top to get me back down to the 250k a year life. Or let's say that I only make a hundred thousand. I'm gonna hustle and white knuckle and do whatever I need to do to get to that 250k. But then I'm gonna stop there. I don't know if you've ever heard this again, if I'm botching it, but I would love your thoughts on this, because I see this a lot with the women that come into my world. They're like, Julie, I. I have been at $300,000 a year for five years. Clearly, I know how to make money. I've got a platform. People love me. They tell me I'm amazing.

[A]

I.

[C]

But like, I can't seem to get over this threshold. I can't see. And even though I want to be a millionaire, even though I want 500k, whatever it is, I can't seem to get past 500k. I can't seem to get past 1.1.3 million was another one that kept coming up for people. Or 1.5. I know. Isn't it like, they couldn't quite get past the 1.3 to 1.5 million? So I want to get your whole.

[A]

Such a good question. So I am familiar with this. This theory as well, and I think it can be true. And I'm going to add to it.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

So what I will add is our nervous system doesn't do math and it doesn't know what money is. So I don't actually believe that our set point has anything to do with a number. It has everything to do with a feeling.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

And so for some people, that will manifest as an actual income ceiling, but for some people, it'll be different. And I'll give you an example. There is a guy who a friend of mine was at an event with, and he makes like 300 million a year in his business. And, you know, that's an amount of money in revenue that is, for me, like, quite far from what I can relate to.

[C]

Right.

[A]

You think, oh, gosh, what would I do with three? You know, the automatic. Everything in my life would be perfect if I.

[C]

All the orphans would be fed and.

[A]

Yes, well, I mean, perhaps that might be true. I don't think that that's what this guy is focused on, clearly.

[C]

Clearly not. Because we have a lot of people making that money in the world, and

[A]

we do, and we can talk, you know, maybe we'll come back to this, like, why we need more money in the hands of women. So. But this guy was, like, in a deep state of simultaneous depression and anxiety, and he was really, truly suffering. Because here's my assessment of that situation. My assessment of that situation is not that money makes you depressed or anxious or greedy or a bad person. It does not. Money is an amplifier. Money is a fertilizer. Money just gives you more of what already was there. So if you add more money to an ecosystem that's not healthy, you will not get a healthy, gorgeous, flourishing garden. You will get more weeds, you will get more, you know, more death and destruction, more whatever. I think that with, with people who make a ton and it creates disease in their body, it creates disease in their life. What's happening is they have a money nervous system, thermostat set to a certain level of well being, a certain of enjoyment and abundance that they feel safe experiencing.

[C]

Like permission maybe.

[A]

Correct. And they've gone so far beyond that that everything in their life is ensuring that they come back to the thermostat setting of the feeling, even if the money's there. And we see this over and over and over again. So sometimes it shows up as an income ceiling for sure.

[C]

Right.

[A]

But for some people, it actually shows up as I'm making more and more money and I don't feel any different, or it shows up as I can't even make as much as I want to. And when somebody is in a cycle of under earning, which means despite all of your best efforts, you are not able to make as much as you should be, given how hard you're working or all the things you're doing, oftentimes there's a leak in there. And one of the things we do in my world is we identify your money leaks. And once we've articulated them, it gets pretty easy to like patch them up. Just like once you know where the leak is in your ceiling, yeah. You can just get up there and do whatever you would do with a roof, which I obviously have no idea what that would be. Patch it up, patch it up. That leak is subtle and it's insidious and that's around feeling morally superior for having less. And that's really rooted in deep, deep, zero sum model, deep, deep scarcity. So I do want to address super quickly for anyone who's listening, who has a feeling of guilt and shame around having more or wanting more and feeling like I already have so much, or if I have more, someone else is going to automatically go without. I want to say this. What we know for sure is that there are enough resources on the planet for everyone to live a good life. The zero sum model is a lie. We actually have enough here on planet Earth. And it is the lie of scarcity that creates hoarding behavior and vast, unequal distribution. Because when we're operating according to the lie of scarcity, we do not hold our money with an open palm. We hold it with a vice grip. And we're not generous with our time, with our energy, or with our financial resources. And so if that's running underneath, that's just part of your hidden money ecosystem. We got to get that handled. Because not only are you keeping yourself small, you are actually holding all the people back who your life touches.

[C]

Brought me to my next question that you had just mentioned about, like, why does more money need to be in the hands of women? And it takes me back to, you know, I've had. And this is why, for those listening, because I know you, because I talk to you all the time, you need to take this program like, you need to take this program even, even abilities to create better messaging and create better funnels and to do all the things that you're wanting to do. If this is a problem for you, which I know that it is because I talk to you all the time, you're only going to be able to get so far.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And so that is with that, to say, I want to know, because I was having a conversation with a client of mine a couple of weeks ago. We'll call her Casey. And Casey was talking about how there it was a. When we got to the root of the issue of why she was under charging and why she was working so hard and she couldn't get past this. You know, she was around this 300k a year mark. She couldn't get past it. What we discovered is that there was this trauma bond with her mother who did not have a lot of money and did not come from a lot. And her mom would always kind of make these side comments about what must be nice for you. Well, I didn't have that when I was growing up. And so Casey was inadvertently keeping her income capped as this trauma connection to her mother, to not betray her mother and her. And that's her mother's story, which wasn't even Casey's. So with that to say, I know chills, right? Yeah. And I know that you. That your work will also get there. I mean, because how can it not?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Because you're you. But why with that to say, why do more women need money in their hands?

[A]

What the data shows us is so exciting and that is that when women have more resources, statistically speaking, the world is a better. The world is a better place. Like, that's the headline and it's 100% true across every possible intersection. Women automatically invest in health care. They invest in their communities, they invest in supporting those around them, they invest in education. Women out give men significantly when they have money in terms of charity. But women also are just naturally better with money. They actually are better investors. They get a dollar for dollar, much higher return when they invest their money. Also when venture capital is invested in female founders, which it is unfortunately at a much smaller rate than male founders, but when it is invested in women, there's a much, much higher return on that venture capital money. And I have example after example after example. But basically, when women have more money, everybody's life gets better. And we're in the middle of something called the great wealth transfer. By the year 20, 30 trillions and trillions of dollars that were previously handled by men will be transferring into the hands of women at an unprecedented rate. We have never seen anything like this in history. And it has to do with demographics and baby boomers and blah, blah. But the question is, are we actually prepared for that? Because if you add more water to a leaky bucket, you just get a bucket that's leaking faster. So my mission is to get women feeling confident and regulated and so deeply embodied with their relationship with wealth so that as more money ends up in their hands, not only are they able to bless their own lives with it for. For real, for real. Not just like buy a handbag and feel anxious about it, but like actually be blessed by it. And then where do we go with that healthy overflow? And that's really the conversation that I'm about having because it is the way I see we're going to change the world.

[C]

And it's so good. And it's. And that's why it's now. Like, why now? Why this? This is it. And I'm going to break the fourth wall for a moment just to really, I can't implore you enough to go and check this out. There's going to be a free training. I'm gonna let Kate give us the spill. There's gonna be a link in the show notes. But I am not just saying this just to say it. I myself am gonna go through this. I believe in it so much. I believe in Kate so much. I know that she is the right and perfect person to steward so many of you through this because it's so needed, it's so necessary, and it's only going to make all of the effort to.

[B]

Of everything else that you're doing right

[C]

now, not just in your business, but in Your life, in your marriage, in the way that you parent and the way that you are able to show up and give back to the schools and the communities and all of that. It is just going to enrich it in ways that you can't even understand at this moment. So if you're having any kind of inkling, any kind of curiosity, any kind of like, okay, I kind of want to check this out and see what it's about, do yourself a favor and run to that link. Save your seat. Kate, go ahead and give us the information about this incredible training that's about to come up.

[A]

Okay, great. So once a year, I do a training called Good with Money, and it's over three days. And what you will experience is first identifying what state your hidden money ecosystem is in. Not your money archetype, not your money personality, not you, the ecosystem. So this is not about judgment. This is not about rating you. This is not about any kind of failure. This is about, well, let's assess the health of the ecosystem. Because when we get a healthy ecosystem, we get healthy growth. So we'll identify the state of your money ecosystem. And then, then, you know, where's the bottleneck? Where can you lean in and get the biggest return on your investment of your time, which we all know is our most precious asset? And so how can you lean in and heal the ecosystem? Because when we heal the hidden money ecosystem, the automatic result is being able to make, keep and grow more money with significantly less effort. And one of the things I'm really excited about that we're doing this year is we have created a custom tool where everyone who comes to the workshop at the end will be able to enter in their custom information about their financial life, their money leaks, their hidden money ecosystem, their goals, their desires, where they're starting, where they want to go. And they'll receive a personalized 90 day relaxed money roadmap of how you can actually put this together over the course of a season so that in essentially 13 weeks, you will be able to have upgraded every aspect of your financial life, internal and external, and that work will pay dividends for the rest of your life.

[C]

Oh, that's huge. So you literally walk away with a 90 day blueprint in your hands.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And then you.

[A]

And not just like a PDF that you filled out. Like, it's. I can't really quite describe it, but it is it. I'm so excited about this possibility because.

[C]

And it's custom to you, it's custom to you.

[A]

And it's not like, oh, there's four possible choices and like, you'll get one of the four. And it, it's pretend custom, right? It was like actually disgusted.

[C]

Oh, this is so good. So, guys, go ahead, go into the show notes. You can click the link. We'll also have it in our newsletter over the coming month. Plus, again, I just, I cannot stress getting to this free training and really being able to understand how impactful this can be for your life and for your business. Thank you, Kate. Thank you for coming and sharing all about the money, all about the nervous system and just, just being the light and the vessel that you are. I mean, truly, you are meant to be here during this moment in time to really shepherd all of us through this. And we're just so grateful. So, so grateful that you're here.

[A]

Such a pleasure.

[C]

Love you so much. Love you. I could just start crying with you too, anytime. All right.

[A]

Awesome. Thank you.

[B]

If today's episode served you, don't forget to hit subscribe, leave a review you and share it with a woman you know is ready for more. You can now watch every episode, every week on Spotify and YouTube and continue to listen on the platform of your choice. And if you want behind the scenes updates on business messaging, leadership, special promos, the first access to what's happening in my business, in my world, I would encourage you to join my weekly email [e-mail] that is where all of this goes down. That is not normally shared publicly. This is where your next era begins and I'm so glad that you're here.