The Influencer Podcast with Julie Solomon

Episode: When You Raise Your Standards, Everything Changes
Date: August 20, 2025
Host: Julie Solomon

Episode Overview

In this solo episode, Julie Solomon marks her 41st birthday by sharing transformative insights about the power of raising personal standards—especially in relationships and business. Drawing from deep self-reflection, she explores the importance of aligning with people, collaborations, and energies that match one’s current level of self-awareness, maturity, and ambition. Julie invites listeners to examine their own relational dynamics, urging them to courageously release what no longer serves and to curate connections that foster growth, peace, and expansion.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Personal Reflection & The Concept of Tolerance

[00:41 - 03:00]

• Julie opens by sharing recent introspection sparked by her birthday. She emphasizes how much she has grown and how her tolerance for certain dynamics has shifted.

• She describes a pivotal “click”—when a truth lands deeply in the body, not just the mind.

  “Your tolerance will always be met by the energy of which you are giving out and what you are really available for.” — Julie [01:00]

• Realizations around holding onto relationships for comfort, history, or compassion, rather than true alignment.

2. Outgrowing Relationships & Emotional Patterns

[03:00 - 07:30]

• Julie details subtle emotional misalignments: feeling drained rather than nourished by certain conversations or collaborations.

• Recognizes a recurring role: being the “anchor” in relationships and often providing more emotional labor than receiving.

• Candid admission:

  “I no longer have the tolerance, have the desire to be surrounded by people who haven't done their own version of the work... There needs to be some level of emotional responsibility, awareness, spiritual maturity, self-honoring in their own path and journey.” — Julie [06:00]

• Explains how creating safe spaces sometimes attracts others’ “unprocessed chaos” and how her boundaries required a “deepening.”

3. The Power of Raising Your Standard

[07:30 - 09:00]

• Recalls advice from her friend Susie:

  “Julie, your tolerance will always be met. If you set your bar low, people will meet it. If you raise your standard, people will rise or they'll just fall away.” — Susie, cited by Julie [08:20]

• Talks about living from a “different frequency” and not abandoning herself in rooms she no longer relates to or where she has to dim her presence.

4. Shared Experience and Universal Truth

[09:00 - 11:30]

• Notes that friends and clients are experiencing similar shifts.
• Reinforces that while none of us are perfect, it's crucial to be in dynamics where there's reciprocity and mutual growth.

5. The “Energetic Trash” Analogy

[13:40 - 15:00]

• Memorable metaphor:

  “If every time someone that you knew came over to your house and left their dirty can of Diet Coke sitting on your kitchen counter... Over time, it just gets to the point where you just want to say, my goodness, have enough awareness to not bring your trash to my house.” — Julie [13:59]

• Discusses the importance of discernment about when and where to process heavy things, being mindful of reciprocity and emotional readiness.

6. On Codependency, People-Pleasing, and Alignment

[15:00 - 18:30]

• Admits to years of over-functioning to "keep the room cracking" out of nostalgia or codependency, not alignment.
• Shares about hearing an “internal voice” pushing her to outgrow what no longer serves, noting that this affects all life areas: business, friendships, intimacy, lifestyle.

7. Non-Negotiables for the Next Era

[18:30 - 20:30]

• Spiritual maturity: Looking for relationships built on presence, groundedness, and growth.

• Emotional stability:

  “The ability to hold space without making it about anything else—that is so important.” — Julie [19:20]

• Lifestyle compatibility: Wanting to be surrounded by women “who are doing life on purpose.”

• Respect for energy and timing: Knowing when to share, and when to simply witness or hold space.

8. Reframing Loss as Alignment

[20:30 - End]

• Encourages listeners: letting go isn’t loss, but the opportunity to “gain the right ones.”
• Final call to action:

  “When you honor your non-negotiables, you don't lose people, you just gain the right ones.” — Julie [20:55]

Notable Quotes & Moments

• On Boundaries and Growth:
  “There is a difference between presence and projection, between being real and just dumping.” — Julie [05:30]

• On Emotional Labor:
  “The conversations always circle back to... someone else's problem... Or where I felt like I had to dim my presence, dim my peace, dim my bigness of my vision, or even sidestep my joy just to make sure that no one else felt uncomfortable.” — Julie [04:30]

• On Releasing Dynamics:
  “The part of me that allowed dynamics and relationships to maybe orbit out of that, people pleasing, maybe even out of nostalgia, out of codependency rather than alignment, had just dissolved.” — Julie [17:20]

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:41 – 03:00: Julie reflects on her growth and new realizations.
• 03:00 – 07:30: Emotional mismatches, anchoring relationships, and setting boundaries.
• 07:30 – 09:00: Raising standards and Susie’s impactful advice.
• 13:40 – 15:00: “Energetic trash” analogy for emotional labor.
• 18:30 – 20:30: List of non-negotiables for new relationships.
• 20:30 – End: Reframing loss, honoring non-negotiables, final encouragement.

Takeaways for Listeners

• Examine relationships and collaborations: Are they aligned with your current self and values?
• Raising your standards may cause some connections to fall away but opens space for deeply aligned relationships.
• Define your own non-negotiables for friendships, business, and personal life—spiritual maturity, emotional stability, lifestyle compatibility, respect for energy and timing.
• Reciprocity and discernment are essential for healthy, nourishing connections.
• Holding high standards is not about perfection, but about honoring growth and integrity—both in oneself and others.

Julie leaves listeners with an empowered call to honor their needs, set higher standards, and trust that making space will attract the right, aligned people and opportunities in every area of their life.