When Your Business Evolves Faster Than Your Voice

Summary

Woman of Influence with Julie Solomon
Episode: "When Your Business Evolves Faster Than Your Voice"
Guest: Samantha Skelly
Date: December 17, 2025

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Main Theme & Purpose

This episode is an insightful conversation between host Julie Solomon and entrepreneur/coach Samantha Skelly about the subtle challenges experienced by established women leaders whose business growth and personal evolution outpace their original messaging and voice. They explore what it means to recalibrate your message, embody your truest self, and attract premium clients—not by performance or pain-based marketing, but through authentic presence and aspirational alignment.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Honoring Truth Over Performance

• Samantha’s Evolution (03:00–06:49):
  • In her 40s, Samantha realized her ambitions and way of showing up had evolved, no longer requiring previous performative patterns.
  • The past pressure to perform was a necessary phase but is now being shed for presence and truth.

  “I’m really proud of myself […] because over this last year […] I turned 40 last year, and it really just made me kind of root into the fact that my ambitions were changing and that was ok.”—Samantha Skelly (04:16)

• The energy now is zero tolerance for anything less than truth; presence is replacing performance as the driving force in business.

  “Real influence isn’t built in the algorithm. It’s embodied in your identity.”—Julie Solomon (01:57)

2. Embracing Unproductive Play & Multiple Outlets

• Boredom as Regulation (08:04–14:13):
  • Both women discuss taking up hobbies solely for joy and replenishment—pottery for Sam, French and songwriting for Julie.
  • The myth that boredom in business signals a problem; it may actually be a sign that things are working and it’s time to seek fulfillment elsewhere.
  • Permission to diversify creative expression without monetization; sometimes the “boredom” is opportunity for expansion.

  “Maybe you’re, quote unquote, bored in your business because—it’s actually finally working and in flow.”—Julie Solomon (09:06)

3. From Past-Focused to Future-Focused Messaging

• Authenticity & Identity Shift (15:05–22:34):
  • Julie shares her traditional background in journalism and publicity, which sharpened her messaging skills.
  • Critique of the “serve a former version of yourself” approach. True magnetism is about mirroring and speaking from your highest evolved self.

  “The most premium ideal client that you will have is never a former version of you. They’re always the highest version of who you are.”—Julie Solomon (21:35)

• Serving and messaging to the former self attracts unaligned audience, while aspiring upwards sets the tone for transformation.

4. The Problem with Pain-Based Marketing

• Aspirational vs. Pain Messaging (24:27–34:27):
  • Pain-based marketing, though effective for volume, attracts people not ready to take empowered action or invest deeply.
  • Aspirational messaging draws clients who see their potential and want to rise to it—a much higher conversion rate and more enjoyable experience.

  “I would rather have a hundred quality, ready-to-buy, highest-premium clients on a webinar than 10,000 people that came through pain point marketing.”—Julie Solomon (31:37)

• Specificity and going "micro" with desires—for example, the feeling of confidently wearing a long-held pair of jeans—creates resonance and connection.

5. Fluidity, Embodiment & Daily Practice

• Being ‘Her’ Now (34:28–40:29):
  • Embodiment comes from daily micro-decisions. Julie’s mantra: “Be her now.”
  • When facing moments of self-doubt, pause and ask: how would the highest version of me respond?

  “I pause, breathe, pause. And I just say to myself, ‘Be her now.’ What would she do? How would she respond to that email? What would she think in this moment, even if she was afraid? Be her now.”—Julie Solomon (35:42)

• Embodiment isn’t selective—bring your truest self into every arena of life, not just business.
• When you embody the future self, everything (including business opportunities) flows more easily and with more joy.

  “The more I play, the more successful I become. [...] Success in life—having a calendar that I love.”—Sam (40:32)

6. Flipping the Script—From “Have-Do-Be” to “Be-Do-Have”

• Practical Application (40:29–42:24):
  • Scarcity and waiting for the right conditions ("have-do-be") leads to postponing growth.
  • Choosing to embody (“be”) first creates a new reality that naturally draws the opportunities and results you desire.

  “When I switched that to the opposite of that: be, do, have versus have, do, be, and just like really being her now, just the script changes. And when the script changes, everything changes.”—Julie Solomon (41:28)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Evolving Beyond Performance:

  “There was a lot of performing that happened in the earlier stages and in the growth stages of my business. And again, it's...it needed to happen at the time. My ego needed it, my fears needed it...but it just doesn’t serve me anymore.” —Samantha Skelly (04:37)

• On Messaging to the Highest Self:

  “It's really about mirroring back the highest version of who we are so we can be that calibrator and that permission slip for the magnetism.” —Julie Solomon (19:42)

• On the Downside of Pain-Based Marketing:

  “People that are attracted to pain point marketing have a hard time believing in themselves and believing you—their process would work for them.” —Julie Solomon (31:51)

• On Embodiment:

  “‘Be her now.’ And that is always the thing that recalibrates me out of that past self version into the highest self that I can be.” —Julie Solomon (35:57)

• On Play as the Portal to Success:

  “The more I play, the more successful I become. [...] Success in life—having a calendar that I love, the ability to go to the lake...that feels like success.” —Sam (40:32)

• On the Power of Alignment:

  “When we do that, it’s an interesting thing. The universe kind of takes care of the rest. But all the characters in the script change and the parts that they play change.” —Julie Solomon (41:48)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

| Timestamp | Topic | |:--------------|:------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 03:00 | Samantha on honoring truth and shedding performance | | 08:04 | Embracing play & non-productive creativity | | 15:05 | Messaging mastery, background, and recalibrating identity | | 19:42 | Mirror messaging: speaking from your highest self | | 24:27 | The aspirational client avatar and switching from pain-based marketing | | 31:37 | Why pain-based messaging brings in less qualified leads | | 34:28 | Embodiment: the practice of “be her now” | | 40:29 | Be-Do-Have: switching the growth paradigm | | 42:24 | The power of serving your highest self to attract elevated clients |

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Actionable Takeaways & Audience Guidance

• Audit your messaging: Are you speaking from your highest self or a former version?
• Give yourself permission to pursue non-business creative outlets; resist the urge to “fix” boredom.
• Notice if you’re using pain to attract clients—shift instead into vivid, specific aspiration and possibility.
• Anchor in daily embodiment: act as your future self, asking “what would she do?” in each context.
• Remember, true influence is rooted in identity—a presence that is felt across all life domains, not just business.

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Where to Connect:

• Julie Solomon: @juls_s olomon
• The Influence(r) Podcast (soon to be rebranded): New episodes every Wednesday
• Learn more about Julie’s accelerator program: juliesolomon.net

“This is where leaders come to realign their presence, elevate their positioning, and scale their legacy—without losing themselves in the process.”

Transcript

[Julie Solomon]

I am so excited to announce that I am doing my first in person retreat in over two years. If you have been feeling like your message wants to expand, like your voice that you've been using no longer matches the woman that you've become and the leader that you've become, I want to personally invite you to my in person retreats unscripted. It's a two day intimate retreat in Nashville, Tennessee on February 5th and 6th, 2026, for the women who are ready to speak, to write and lead from their highest identity, not from performance or from pressure. No more over explaining, no more shrinking, no more sounding like an older version of yourself. This is where your voice and your message and your identity come back into alignment and pure refinement. Who you really are and who you are meant to serve. Spots are limited and it is application only as we want to make sure that that room is just so primed and ready for the work that we're going to be doing. So you can learn all about it and apply by going to juliesolomon.netunscripted. and if you felt this, you already know my friend. I can't wait to meet you and see you in that room with me and these incredible other women again. That's juliesolomon.net unscripted.

[Samantha Skelly]

Welcome to Woman of Influence. I'm Julie Solomon and this is where high level women come to recalibrate their message, realign their leadership, and rise into the next era of impact. If you're ready to align your visibility with your true authority, if you're called to speak to women at the level you now lead, if you're ready for your business to feel as elevated as the woman running it, this is your space. Because real influence isn't built in the algorithm. It's embodied in your identity.

[Julie Solomon]

Let's get started.

[Sam]

Okay. Sweet babe, let's go.

[Samantha Skelly]

Okay.

[Sam]

I'm like, where's the record? Oh, we're already recording. Great.

[Samantha Skelly]

Hi.

[Sam]

I'm so happy that we're sitting down to have a conversation today. How are you?

[Samantha Skelly]

I'm so good. I feel like this has been such a, like, long time coming in a lot of ways. And also the perfect time and any, any morsel of moments that I can get of Samantha Skelly, I'm gonna take it all because it's so good. So thank you for having me.

[Sam]

Course, of course. What do you feel is making you feel most alive today?

[Samantha Skelly]

What is making me feel most alive today is honoring my truth over any past or present feeling that I ever have to Perform. Oh, baby.

[Sam]

Double click for me into that. Tell me more.

[Samantha Skelly]

You know, it's been this beautiful ride of just a journey that. And you get it because you've been on this road for a long time journey as an online business owner, as a creative, as an entrepreneur, as a coach. And also a journey that I'm. I'm seeing happen in tandem a lot with the women in. In my coaching spaces. Of this shedding, because this is a big shedding year for people of this shedding of these old beliefs, these old truths, these old ways in which we might have shown up or we might have done the work or we might have spoken or messaged. That just isn't working anymore. It's just not in alignment. And I think for a long time it's really easy to kind of gaslight yourself out of that. Yeah. And. And we kind of try to force, like sanding the edges of our soul to fit something that just isn't. It's. It's evolved. And so I'm really proud of myself and I feel so alive in myself right now because over this last year, I turned 40 last year, and it really just made me kind of root into the fact that my ambitions were changing and that was okay. And things were shifting and aligning and how I wanted to show up and the discernment around proximity and access and reciprocity and like what all that really meant. And when I got really honest with myself, there was a lot of performing that. That happened in the earlier stages and in the growth stages of my business. And again, it's no. It's no judgment, but it was. It needed to happen at the time. My ego needed it, my. My fears needed it. All of these parts of myself needed that to really kind of push through and create the thing and make the thing and be visible, but it just doesn't serve me anymore. And so I've really been rooting into over the last, really 18 months, but really this year about what does presence actually mean to me and how is that the antidote or the antithesis of what might have been more of a performance way of me showing up and doing things in the past. And not that it wasn't real. Yeah, not that the performing wasn't real, but it. It was something that I no longer need. And it actually feels way more clean and integrity to really root into this idea of what presence does mean to me and for me and for my spaces and for my business and for my community. And the more that I deepen into that and without judgment and really just discernment. The more I feel alive in the work that I'm doing.

[Sam]

Oh, that's so good. I got goosebumps from that. You know, I feel there's this, there's this wave of, of so many women reorienting to truth and you know, to use your words, like shutting away the archaic pieces of us that we thought we needed to be in order to develop the business or be a certain way or whatever it is. And it' ne like now more than ever I feel like so many conversations that I'm in with like our, our friendship group and our circle. It's like there's like a zero tolerance for anything other than truth. And I love that you said performative because that's exactly what it is. It's like this energy of like doing something to get versus like just the beingness and the purity of just like presence and truth. So good.

[Samantha Skelly]

Really is. And, and breath helps with that.

[Sam]

Nice plug there. Thanks.

[Samantha Skelly]

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[Sam]

A couple months ago you and I were going back in the DM talking about how just we've just started doing things that are not productive. Like I was sharing with you, like I started doing pottery, you know, just to like doing. Doing things that just are. The only sole purpose of that activity is for my soul. I'm not even a good potter. It's just simply just for my soul, doing things that just feel like pure play. And I, you know, just making art that I don't monetize, making things just create for the sake of creation. And the Internet doesn't know. And that's been just like such a homecoming for me recently. It's been so good.

[Samantha Skelly]

I've been rooting into some of that myself. With was actually, I'll share a conversation that I had with a, With a good friend that's in this space and then kind of how it's been showing up in my life. But I had a really good friend of mine and we were talking about ambitions changing, and I was kind of sharing with her, you know, it's. I've been hearing in my community a lot that we keep. We keep feeling this sense of boredom, for lack of a better word, in our business, and we make that mean something negative about the business. And so I started to kind of see this pattern with my clients that they would go and like, oh, I need to like, fix this offer, or I need to like, do this marketing thing, or I need to change this, or maybe I need to hire this person. And then they kind of get in that perpetual more of that doing hustle phase again, instead of realizing that maybe you're, quote unquote, bored in your business because. Because it's actually finally working and in flow and maybe you, you have kind of pulled back all the things that weren't in service. And maybe this is actually the universe's way of telling you that we don't need to have this expectation of being 110% creatively filled in one area of our lives. If our business grants us that and gives us that, that's beautiful. But, you know, we should also kind of be looking outside of that for things. And so I was talking to a girlfriend of mine who's a life coach in this space, successful, and. And she, she agreed. She was like, you know, it would be so easy for me to, to feel that way as well, but I can't burn down my business because it affords me the beautiful life that I have. And she said, but I do have this creative outlet. And so what she did is she started writing erotica novels under this pseudo name, right? And it's just like, it's giving her so much life and she's having so much fun. And she's hired this editor, and this is someone who has also written books in the self development and self help space herself. So. But she's like, it's not about that. Like, I am doing this for me and to fill me up and to inspire me and to get my creative juices flowing, because the business is what it is in this stage, and. And I still need to feel creatively full. But I. I'm not going to expect, you know, the same business that I've now been running for almost 10 years to give me that at the extent that I need it right now. And so that actually kind of gave me. It was an expander for me and gave me permission to drop into some things that I've wanted. So I started picking up French again. I used to take it in college. And I've started to like the language. The language? Yes. Wow. I just. Just to be able to conversationally when I'm there. And then another thing that I was really excited to do, I. I live in Nashville, Tennessee, which is the songwriting capital of the world. And I was like, I'm going to take some songwriting classes because I love to write. Messaging is my jam. It's what I do. And songwriting is such a unique and different flavor to storytelling and to sharing your voice into sharing message. And I'm like, I'm gonna take some songwriting classes and, like, learn. Learn the creative nuances of songwriting and. And what will that just unlock for me? And so that's been really fun and just so giving myself the permission to do that because so many of us don't. And instead, again, we just kind of gaslight ourselves into thinking that something's wrong. We make that mean something negative. Instead of really seeing it as maybe this nudge from the universe to expand out a little bit and get curious about what else is available to us.

[Sam]

Okay, so when you go in to those sessions, do you have something that's on your heart? Like, oh, I want to write a song about this, or something that you're moving through, or do you just sort of let yourself channel? Like, how does I, like, break it down?

[Samantha Skelly]

So the. Some of the classes that I've been in, in workshops, they will. It's kind of a twofold. You can kind of come in with an idea or concept or to kind of help you really learn the structure songwriting, they will give you an idea or concept, and then you'll kind of, like, run with that. And so. And it's interesting because some people find that they're better melodically or they're better lyrically. I have found that lyrically is more my thing, but then you can kind of find the melody into it, and it. It Gets to be very. I can see how it would be very addicting. Like, I can see how the Taylor Swifts of the world just write songs all the time because, like, it's such an ex. A different form of expression of the soul. Just like pottery can be photography, whatever that is for you. So I would. I would, you know, really encourage anyone who may feel like ambitions are changing. Maybe you're bored. Maybe you're judging yourself for that. Maybe you just need to allow yourself to get curious about something completely wild and different and creative that you could do.

[Sam]

The Tuesday version of me thought it was a really good idea to commit the Thursday version of me to a jiu jitsu class tonight. And I'm, like, so regretting it.

[Samantha Skelly]

You're like, thanks, great.

[Sam]

I'm like, kelly, why did you do that? I'm like, oh, God, here we go.

[Samantha Skelly]

But it's gonna be fun. And, like, I do my Pilates, and it keeps me connected. Like, yeah, we've gotta have. We've gotta have more than just business. Yeah.

[Sam]

Yeah.

[Samantha Skelly]

And I think for high achievers and high performers. Performers, yes. Having more than that. It's like. It's like this thing that, for me, I had to, like. I had to remember that part of myself that's like, oh, right. Like, I can have. I can be excited about things other than my business. I can focus on things other than my business. And of course, I. You know, I have two kids and a family, but it's like, for so long, it was family business. Family business. Family business. Yeah. And I'm really expanding beyond that in this season, and it feels really good.

[Sam]

It's so good. It's so good. Yeah. I love that nuance that you. That you shared of, like, boredom is actually good. Like, let it be. Let it feel regulated, you know? And that's another thing. I think so often we can confuse boredom with regulation. Like, regulation just feels calm. It feels grounding. I remember when Eric, when my husband and I first met, that he was so regulating for my nervous system. Like, I didn't feel, though, like, is he gonna leave? Is he gonna text me back? Like, does he love me? Does he not? He was just so clear, so grounded, so communicative, like, so present. And my. Like, the unhealed parts of me were like, this is really boring. And then all of my friends were like, no, that's just healthy love feels like. And that same thing can play out in business. So that's so interesting. You and I've been in this game for a long, long, long, long time. I think I first heard about you probably, probably a decade ago, I'm assuming when we. How long have you been doing this thing now for?

[Samantha Skelly]

I. I got on the online space. I got on Instagram in forms of a mo. As a business in 2014, and then I started online education 2016, started my podcast 2017.

[Sam]

Okay. Our timelines are exactly the same. That makes so much sense. And you're someone that I've always thought of as someone who's just like in impeccable, like at messaging and clarity and branding, it's just like, you know who you are, you know who you're speaking to, you know the, the problems that you're trying to solve and. Or you are solving. And so I think one of the biggest things for the women that I work with in our. In our Pause community is just like, they don't have that locked and loaded. So there's. There's always this feeling of like, I don't know who I am and I don't know what I'm speaking to and I don't know about this. And you've dialed this in so much and you've dialed it in for. For like over a decade now. So I'm curious, what are some of the practices or what are some of the things that you do to really get so crystal clear on who you are and who you're speaking to?

[Samantha Skelly]

So, you know, I, I say that my journey to this kind of came by it honestly and boringly because I went. I went to college for it. I went to school for it. I got a degree in it.

[Sam]

You did?

[Samantha Skelly]

I did. Which is crazy. So I did. I majored in journalism with a minor in. It was digital marketing at the time, which is serious. It's a thing. It was journalism and electronic media and with a minor in. In digital marketing and like communications. And then I got. And I went straight into publicity and I was a publicist in corporate and agency America until I came into the online space. So I had had even before that about seven years of just this very kind of traditional foundational background in understanding communication, messaging, voice, what makes people tick. And I had a flare of it also from a creative aspect, because as a publicist, my first job, I worked at an agency in New York City where we worked with a lot of top artists, musicians, so Lenny Kravitz, pink, maroon 5. These were the clients that I got to work with. And so I really saw early on how voice and message and perception really cultivated and created a unique brand for someone and invisibility for someone. And so it served me really well coming into the online space. First, I. I helped women figure out how to better pitch themselves. And then, of course, that's evolved just into all of the dynamics that messaging really touches and to kind of get to your. To your question of that. And I wanted to share my background because the lens that I look through it is. It comes really from that. But I believe that really, messaging is. It is how you effectively, uniquely articulate your brilliance to the world. And part of that uniqueness of the articulation is really what creates perception, and that's really what a brand is. At the end of the day, a brand is just the perception of whatever messaging, whether it's audio, visual, static, digital, whatever, whatever kind of message that you are putting out there. And as long as it's corralled, Sam, mostly to where people want it to be, then, like, we're good to go. But most of the time, it's not corralled. And the reasons for that could be strategic. It could be lack of confidence, lack of clarity. It could be scarcity, mindset. Like, there's so many different things that kind of shape our own perception, which then shapes the perception that we put out there. And so what I really love to help women with is messaging. And there's a. Yes, there's strategy. We always talk the strategies and the frameworks, but what really needs to happen first? A lot of times with the women that I work with and the women that I work with, they usually come to me. They've been doing this for a while. They're not new to the game. They've been at this for a while, but they can't seem to. They've kind of gotten themselves to a certain level, and they can't seem to kind of unlock the next phase. And what we usually uncover is that, yeah, there are some strategic components that they probably need to, like, learn more into, but it's really about an identity recalibration. And nine times out of 10, it's this proverbial glass ceiling that these women have imposed on themselves, and they can't seem to crack it open, because there is a recalibration that needs to happen with their identity first so that they can actually effectively mirror that back to who their most premium, most juiciest, most incredible client is. And that's not always how we're traditionally kind of taught to think of it. You know, a lot of times people hear that saying of, like, you're just serving a former version of yourself, and so you need to speak to that former version and create offers for that former version. But I don't actually technically agree with that. I don't think that we should be so pass focused and serving a former version of ourselves. I think it's really about mirroring back the highest version of who we are so we can be that calibrator and that permission slip for the magnetism.

[Sam]

That's so good. That is so good. It's like where it's more like aspirational than looking back in our timeline, which actually is going to drop our energy a little bit when we do that.

[Samantha Skelly]

Because you're coming in with this. Because you're actually having to go back to a former identity of yourself that actually no longer exists that you've already shed, which that's what creates all of these, these strategic and energetic mismatches. Because you're like, I don't know why I'm calling in a bunch of people who can't afford my services. I don't know why I'm calling in a bunch of people who are not calibrated mind, body and spirit to do this kind of work with me. I don't know why. And it's like, because you're talking and there's nothing wrong with that former version of who you are. That's just not where you are. So it's really about, and I talk a lot about mirror messaging and, and it's all about that identity messaging that the. The most premium ideal client that you will have is never a former version of you. They' always the highest version of who you are. And that's really what universe and what our work and what are the essence of who we are as a brand and what our voice is, is calling us into that highest version of who we are. So if we can start to mirror her, we're actually going to have not only just a more beautiful, fun, abundant business, but we're actually going to be able to help clients transform at a much higher frequency and a much cleaner frequency.

[Sam]

Oh my gosh, this is so good. I literally have full body goosebumps. And I'll share something that just had like a whoa for me when I was running hungry for happiness and I was helping women who struggled with emotional eating and body image issues. Babe, I gained 25 pounds because I like, not meaning to, but like, I was like, I need to relate, I need to relate, I need to relate. And I was like getting down in this energy of just like scarcity and all this stuff. And like, as soon as I like Freed myself from that. I just. Just. The weight dropped. It was so crazy. And I did not realize that while I was in it, but when I got out of it, I'm like, oh, my gosh, that is so wild. That is so wild.

[Samantha Skelly]

It's. It is. And it's like, that's why we don't. So many times we get so past focus, and I'm like, why are we. What got you. What got you here from the past is not going to get you there. So why are we going back there? Or why are we staying stuck there? Why are we trying to serve from that place when we've already evolved and moved past so many layers of that. That. And so it's not surprising at all that that happened. I have similar situations where I've been serving a former version of me, and I'm like, why do I feel all of these things that, like, I thought I had healed, I thought I had calibrated, I thought I had worked through, but yet I'm going back. And it's because I'm in that energy. I'm in that messaging. I'm in that voice. So obviously it's going to manifest into reality as well. So I have to admit, I was skeptical about skims and the hype of it at first. When it first came out, I was just thinking, okay, another celebrity that' just slapping their name on a brand. But after years of trying bras that just weren't fitting me, as I got older, I finally gave in. And now I am literally that person who has replaced her entire drawer with skims. And I love their new Fits Everybody collection. It is so good. I love the thong. I love the panties. They're so light, seamless. I literally forget that I'm wearing anything. And the bralettes. I have been an avid, obsessed fan of these bralettes for at least four to five years now. They are flattering, breathable, actually supportive without the underwire. And it's what I wear literally every day at home when I'm working on flights, even under dressier outfits. They just get it. Shop Skims Fit everybody [e-mail] and after you place your order, just be sure to let them know that we sent you. You can select podcast in the survey and then select our show in the dropdown menu that follows.

[Sam]

Man, this is so good. Okay, so we take where we want to go and the future version of us and that becomes the avatar. And then we're just speaking to her, embodying, oh, my God. And then energetically, people are gonna feel that on Instagram, on podcasts, on YouTube, whatever it is. And they're like, whoa, I want that.

[Samantha Skelly]

Exactly.

[Sam]

Oh, let's go. Okay. Can we give the audience some pointers for you? Really, like, you embody authenticity. You know, you're just like, here I am. And it's effortless and it's like, it's so fun watching you. It's so, like, it's so you. And many women are very reserved on Instagram. They don't do that. They're not like, I know the word authenticity is like watered down these days, but they're not authentic. They're just like a little bit performative or they're posturing as like a safe version of them. And they're not fully who they are because they're. They fear. Maybe it's not professional or whatever it is. So what's your belief system? What do you embody? What do you choose to. Yeah, like what's, what's the idea that you choose? Yeah. To show up just with fluidity in your energy.

[Samantha Skelly]

Yeah, well, feeling that way makes a lot of sense. And it's really common, especially when you're playing small because you're trying to serve a former version of yourself who probably used to play small. So the fact that you're, you're trying to compact yourself down to be quote, unquote, safer or more digestible for this audience that really you're not meant to be serving. So the, the first piece that we talked about is like really rooting into who, who is the highest version of my ideal client? And like, what does her day to day life look like? Because she's still going to have challenges. She's still going to have the nuances to how she shows up in the world and the contrast to that and those things. So who, so what are some of the common physical, emotional, behavioral patterns of the highest version of my client? Not the past version of my client, but that highest version. And you can write those down. And I talk about going really micro. So it's not about, like, she's full of confidence. Okay, well, why is she full of confidence? She's full of confidence because she's already mastered or already overcome X, Y and Z. So, like, let's take the weight. The weight weight. Yeah. Analogy for an example. So the past version of somebody like that would be someone who continues to struggle with weight. She's always in pain. There's probably a lot of emotional baggage that she hasn't quite gone through yet. So really, no matter what she does Physically, the likelihood of the weight either falling off or staying off is going to be a lot more minimal than someone who, maybe they've had some weight problems in the past, but they have done the initial emotional recalibration that's necessary to feel worthy, to feel their best. And because of that, they're now ready to step in to this more embodied place to feel their best. It's not about a certain size or a certain weight on the scale. It's about truly feeling mind, body and spirit as healthy as they can. That would be the highest version of, of, of anyone. So as we're thinking about that, with weight, for example, what would that person then we, we know what they've already overcome. What's the next challenge? So the next challenge may say, okay, well instead of the challenges, she doesn't believe that she can lose weight because that person is going to be a lot harder to convert and a lot harder to help when she doesn't believe that herself. The highest version of that person already believes that it's possible for them. But maybe she doesn't have the tools, the community, the strategies, the protocols to get her there. That's where you come in. And so, and for those speaking, just, you know, no matter what it is that you may help people solve, it's really about knowing that. But less focus on the pain and more focus again on that desire. And that's another thing that we work on a lot in my world is that a lot of people are, they're either talking to, they're talking too much to a past version of themselves, which then makes the messaging that they create very pain based. And pain point marketing works like I learned about it in college, right? It works, but it takes my digital marketing class and my digital marketing class, I learned about it. I know, right? It's like aging myself. But the thing with pain point marketing is that it takes so much longer to poke that bear because you are, you are working with someone who has not psychologically and emotionally made that choice themselves to believe in something different that you can then help them with. We can't necessarily force someone out of a deep rooted belief that they haven't walked through the fire, so to speak, first to rise. So we need them to be a little bit farther along in the journey to properly and effectively help them at the highest good of all. So that's the first thing is that if you find yourself focusing too much on the pain point marketing, guess what you're going to do? You're going to call in a bunch.

[Sam]

Of people who are in pain 100%.

[Samantha Skelly]

And not necessarily looking for whatever their antithesis of pain is. The pleasure, the freedom, the desire, whatever that is.

[Sam]

Yeah, it's so wild. Like we've split test this with our live webinars. Like the main way that we bring in people for our breath work facilitator program is through live event conversions. We've done that for seven years.

[Samantha Skelly]

And it's just.

[Sam]

The amount of webinars I've done is actually. But we really test messaging and then like feel into the audience. So like when we do any sort of like pain based anything with, with those webinars and that's in our ad copy, our messaging, our emails, our sales team is like Sam, what is with these leads? Like they convert at like 10% and then when we do messaging, like aspirational messaging about like, like who they're becoming and their spiritual gifts that they want to share with the world. And like wouldn't it be amazing if. And wouldn't it be amazing if. And imagine this, like the quality of people on the sales calls, they're just ready to go because they're like, that's me, that's me, that's me. But it's so interesting because yeah, typically traditional marketing is like speak to the pains, like put some salt in the wounds and then they'll convert actually hard.

[Samantha Skelly]

And, and it's like also the thing that we have to be aware of too is that pain point marketing works. Like you probably get a lot of leads that come and they probably show up to the webina. But the energy of that, they're. They're not ready, they're not buyers. They're looking for someone to validate their pain because that's their payoff of staying in the pain. And they need someone to reflect the identity that they are in that they are too comfortable, whether they want to admit it or not, in getting out of that versus the word that you use, Sam, was quality. I would rather have a hundred quality ready to buy highest premium clients on a webinar than 10,000 people that came through pain point marketing. Because I've been down that road. You have to. We know what happens. It is so much harder to get those people to believe in themselves and believe people need to do two things. They need to believe in themselves enough to go through your process and then they need to trust you enough to believe that their process would work for them. Usually people that are attracted to pain point marketing have a hard time believing either of those things, which makes sense. It really, really hard to get them to say yes to whatever it is that you're selling. And you could discount it. You could do all the scarcity tax, it doesn't matter. You could give it to them for free. They're still not doing it.

[Sam]

Yeah. And it's so funny because I always like what I've been in the practice this year of really asking myself, would I click on that? Would I do that? I don't subscribe to pain based marketing. Like, whenever people do that and I get an email like that, I'm like, get out of here. Like, that's literally how I feel. I'm like. But then when I get someone's email and it's aspirational and it's helping me see a future version of myself, I get this like, aliveness and this like champagne bubbly feeling in my body. I'm like, whatever that is, I'm so in. Right? That's like the energy exchange of just like holding a vision and letting people, it's permissioning people into their greatness at.

[Samantha Skelly]

The end of the day, a million percent. And, and so for those listening, it's like, we have to really get clear on the, the, the specifics. Again, go micro about what are those desires? It's not just to you lose weight or be confident or feel like yourself. Again, it's like, no. My person wants to be able to finally pull those jeans out of the back of her closet that she's been holding back there for five years, waiting for that magical day to know that she's gonna put them on in front of the mirror and she's gonna feel so good, so sexy, so alive. And that feeling that she's gonna have in that moment is literally undescribable. And we as women know that feeling. We know what that is, but it's, it's you getting that feeling, that micro. So I didn't say for all those women that are ready to lose weight and keep it off, it's like, no, for the woman that has that dress, that has that pair of jeans in the back of the closet and she knows that now is the time and she has done the work on her belief system, on her worthiness, on her, her body, to know that now is the time to not only take those jeans out and put them on, but to keep them on. And that's what we're going to be doing in today's conversation. That is such a different energy that like comes through instead of just, let's lose 10 pounds and keep it off with my GLP1s and my this and that and my that. You know, it's like, you know, whatever the acid is, it could be GLP ones, it could be a weight loss protocol, it could be walking, it could be affirmations that tell you to lose £5 every single day. It doesn't matter what that is, but it's how you bring that energy and that essence to the table and it's also how you embody it in your day to day life as well.

[Sam]

Yes, yes. Okay.

[Julie Solomon]

Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.

[Sam]

Let's double click into that. Because I think that is so much of the missing link for people is the embodiment when you're not doing the thing on Instagram, when you're not on a podcast, like, can you embody the future version of yours? Okay, go. I want to hear more.

[Samantha Skelly]

Yep. So when. And I have to remind myself of this. I mean, sometimes it's like one hour at a time, Sam, depending on the day, but every single day I wake up and it's not always perfect. Like I, I've got, you know, I do breath work, I meditate, I journal, I, you know, I listen to affirmation. Like I, I do all the things that everybody does, but I'm very intuitive and I listen to what my body needs in that day. But one thing that I always try to tap into, whether anyone ever sees it or hears it on Instagram or not, just in my day to day life as a, as a mother, as a wife, as a daughter, as a friend, as a business owner, is when I have to make any kind of decision that I am feeling contrast that I feel myself maybe playing safe, maybe being small. There's just a part of me, Even if it's 1%, there's this 1% part of me that's like, you don't believe it's going to happen, do you? You don't. You don't think. You don't. You don't think that you're ready. You don't think that you're worthy. You don't think nobody's gonna buy. You don't think no one's gonna show up, even if it's just 1%. I pause, breathe, pause. And I just say to myself, be her now. Just be her now. What would she do? How would she respond to that email? What would she think in this moment, even if she was afraid? Be her now. And that is always the thing that recalibrates me out of that past self version into the highest self that I can be.

[Sam]

Oh, my God, that's. It's like you're commanding your energetics to pull forth a future version that you've already premeditated. You already know. So it's not, you're not like searching for her in that moment, right? You already know who she is. You're just commanding her with your energy.

[Samantha Skelly]

Just be her. Like, I have to give my myself permission to be here because I am her. I already am her. We just kind of have to. Sometimes the brain likes to, you know, think what it thinks and so we have to recycle ourselves into that. And I've got to be her now in, in full embodiment. And how I show up in my day to day life and how I respond to my husband and how I respond to my children and how I, you know, just navigate life and, and that's really where we go back to the presence piece to where it's not performative because this is connected in all walks of life. Like, you can't just be her now in business and then be hot mess express, right? You know, you can't just be her now at your children's school and then be a, you know, not be her when you're having a conversation with your husband. You've got to be her now in every single aspect. And there are some days, Sam, where I like, I eff it up and I ain't her and it ain't her today. You know, I ain't her today and it ain't cute. And you know, I, I did not show up as my highest self. But in that moment, it's about the awareness to be like, ah, I didn't do it in that moment. I, I got scared. I future tripped. I, I wanted to control something. I was afraid. Okay, cool. Now moving forward, what would I do differently? And then just taking that with me step by step by step, it just takes it. It's a re. It's an interesting balance for me, Sam. Like it leaves the ego in there just enough. Enough where, where I kind of, I need that push to keep going and kind of believe in my, in my enoughness. But it also takes the, the parts of the ego that don't serve me in that moment to truly lovingly detach and allow that moment to be truly what it is and just to come from that pure, loving, service based place. Yes.

[Sam]

Oh, this is so juicy. I have a tattoo on my wrist that says, says be here. So I'm just gonna cover up the E, you know, sometimes and just be here. I do.

[Samantha Skelly]

I have it in Journals. I have it on my mirror in my bathroom. I have it written on my. On my desk. It's just be her now. It's that simple.

[Sam]

I love that. I have this future manifesto that I read every single day. And it has like, my opening statement of, like, who she is, right? I'm like, I am, you know, I am a wealthy woman who is deeply connected to her aliveness and her love and blah, blah, blah. It's like this whole thing and just reading that and feeling that and feeling that and feeling that so that I can access it in those moments when I ain't her. Because we all human, right?

[Samantha Skelly]

I love that.

[Sam]

So good.

[Samantha Skelly]

Do you notice that with your speaking? Because I know that you've been. You've. You've allowed yourself to be her now.

[Sam]

Yeah.

[Samantha Skelly]

Like, how is that? I'm just curious how that's come up for you with your speaking.

[Sam]

It's effortless, babe. It's freaking effortless. Like, I recommitted to because I. I took basically like a six year hiatus of, like, really going for it. Like, that's how sort of my career popped off is because I'm like, oh, I'm a speaker. Let me just go speak. And then, boom, this business built around me and I was like, oh, I guess I'm a CEO now, and I sort of disown that part of me. And so, yeah, I made like, a real clear declaration of, like, I am owning that part of me again. I'm owning my speaker archetype, which is the truest thing to me. And it has been effortless. Like, I get. There's no other word for it. It's like I give. I've given my space myself space to. To craft, like, really extraordinary keynotes and pitch them and like, the gigs that are coming through, I'm like, I can't make this up, you know, Like, I got. I got booked at like, the first ever gig that I got booked after, like, my. I'm coming back to her was doing the keynoting the annual conference for bmo. Bmo. Like, that massive bank. I'm like, oh, wow. I'm like, all right. That was like a nudge from God, you know, being like, you got this, like, just, let's keep going. So it's just. It's. Yeah. The only word that I can say is it's effortless and beautiful and feel so fun.

[Samantha Skelly]

Fun, yeah. That's what we want to drop into, right?

[Sam]

And it's like that and like, one of my affirmations that I say in that future manifesto is like, the more I play, the more successful I become. It's like play for me is such a portal to. And when I say success, I don't mean like just, just money, although that's a part of it. But it's like success in life. Like having a calendar that I love, love, you know, having the ability to go to the lake and, and wake surf for two weeks non stop without thinking about work like that feels like success. And the more I cultivate that energy, the more it just overflows into everything. Yeah, I used to live a very, like, in my business, I used to live a very when then type of life. I'm like, I'm like, when we had hit this revenue metric at this profit margin. When this is, then I will. And it's like, like, what am I waiting for?

[Samantha Skelly]

I did too. I was a very have, do be. Like, once I have the thing, then I can do the thing and then I'll be the thing. And when I switch that to the, you know, to the opposite of that. Be, do have versus have do be. And just like really being her now, just the script changes. And when the script changes, everything changes. And we can control the script change. And when we do that, it's an interesting thing. The universe kind of takes care of the rest. But all the characters in the script change and the parts that they play change. And it's all suited to serve your highest good when you are in true alignment and presence of that and really speaking that into existence. That's why I also believe in serving the highest version of me, me. Because I need to have that energy around me. I need to be her now so they can be them now and then that's, that's the frequency that we're. That we're living in.

[Sam]

Babe, that was such an unlock for me. Like, I'm so grateful you shared this on that pot on the podcast because that's such an unlock for me. Like, that was so valuable. Thank you. So good. I could talk to you for like six hours.

[Samantha Skelly]

Well, we're going to.

[Sam]

I'm so excited. We should just like invite people. We could just podcast all day. We could sell tickets, you know, that would be fun.

[Samantha Skelly]

Little group sesh. Yes.

[Sam]

Oh, my goodness. Well, I am honored to know you. I'm so grateful that, that we're friends in this life. And I feel so grateful for the work that you're doing in the world. You're just so brilliant and you, you just have this ability with your energy to just cut through illusion and really find truth for yourself and then you have the gift of doing that for other people people and it's so life giving. So thank you for that. And I'm, I. You just dropped so many love bombs and belly bombs on this audience. I'm so grateful. So thank you. Where can we get amongst you get amongst your work. I know you have the accelerator going.

[Julie Solomon]

Yes.

[Samantha Skelly]

And thank you and just thanks for being a mirror to that and being a match to that because you're magical. So yes, my, I tend to hang up on, hang out on Instagram the most. So at Jules J U L S Solomon S O L O M O N is where I'm, I'm going to be most, most present social wise. I have a podcast, the Influencer podcast. Name's probably going to change soon, but anywhere that you listen or watch podcasts, every Wednesday we drop a new episode so you can check, check out kind of just more of my flow, my vibe, my work, how I do things there. And then I have an accelerator program that is all about helping you accelerate your wealth, your revenue and your business through a lot of the messaging archetypes, types that I have and the frameworks that I teach. But it's really rooted in, in more of that deeper identity recalibration, refinement that we touched on a little bit today. And then some of the strategies around really, you know, making sure that we're speaking to the right version of our avatar and the right phase of, of the journey that she's in that we can support her with. And then the, the, the magic and the message that needs to support that. And so if you want to learn more about that, it's, it's application based. You can go to juliesolomon.net make it really easy for you guys to get access to that application. Just fill your information in. It's super easy, no pressure, anything like that. But that way we can really root into to your brilliance and genius and see how we could potentially be in service of each other. So good.

[Sam]

Thank you so much, babe. Bye for now.

[Samantha Skelly]

If today's episode served you, don't forget to hit like subscribe, leave a review and share it with a woman you know is ready for more. You can now watch every episode, every week on Spotify and YouTube and continue to listen on the platform of your choice. And if you want behind the scenes updates on business, messaging, leadership, special promos, the first access to what's happening in my business, in my world, I would.

[Julie Solomon]

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[Samantha Skelly]

[e-mail] Newsletter that is where all of this goes down that is not normally shared publicly. This is where your next era begins and I'm so glad that you're here.