← Duologue with Leslie Heaney
Duologue with Leslie Heaney
Breaking the Cycle: Foster Care Advocacy in New York with Nancy Jarecki & Eyhdi Osorio
00:59:19
Each year in New York City, thousands of young people in foster care face a life-altering transition: aging out of the system at 18—or 21 if they opt in—often without stable housing, financial support, or guidance into adulthood. This week, Leslie s...
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- [00:03]
A
Hey everybody, it's Leslie and you're listening to Duologue. As the mom of two teenage boys and one 20 year old daughter, I know all too well the amount of effort and support that is required to raise and launch a young person. And I've often thought about the children and teenagers who are in foster care and the unique challenges that these young people face, from their loss of their biological family to changing homes and schools, and then just the uncertainty of their future without having a real safety net once they age out of the foster care system. Thankfully, though, for those young people, there are wonderful organizations that are working to address that need, like New Yorkers for Children. So in this episode, I sit down with two champions for these young people who are aging out of foster care. Nancy Jarecki, who is a trustee of New Yorkers for Children, and Ady Asario, who is a young woman who herself has aged out of the foster care system and she is now giving back to New Yorkers for Children. She's the vice president of their youth advisory board and is also now a board member. So the three of us sit down and really discuss their own experiences in and around the foster care system. And we do a deep dive into the wonderful programs that New Yorkers for Children has to support these young people who are aging out. From counseling to support groups, to financial support, housing, college support, and then a new initiative of Nancy's to help provide vocational training opportunities for these young. So these are two really heroic and inspirational women who are working to help support young people who are aging out of foster care. And it's just the kind of story of promise and hope that we all need this holiday season. Nancy and Ady, I'm so thrilled to have you both here, so excited to talk about all the amazing work that both of you do with New Yorkers for Children. So thank you so much for being on.
- [02:07]
B
Glad to be on. Thank you for having us.
- [02:10]
A
So I thought before we get into, I want to talk about all of the incredible work of the organization, but I thought it might be helpful and interesting for viewers to hear about. I know both of you have your own personal experiences in foster care and what that was like. And then, Ad, I'd love to talk to you a bit about how, because I know you yourself were connected with New Yorkers for Children and benefited so much from the guidance of the organization. So I want to talk to you too about your own personal experience. But Nancy, maybe we'll start talking a little bit about your experience and how maybe you became involved or Heard about New Yorkers for children.
- [02:47]
B
Sure, sure. I would say that first of all, I was born and raised in Kansas. And I wouldn't say I was in foster care. I was in a group home. I was too young. I was one of those that was given up for adoption. And I lived in a group home, which was a foster care home, soon to be adopted by a family a year later. After I was born, as I grew up, my parents always explained to me where I came from, where they picked me up at this group home in Topeka, Kansas. And as I was being raised, my mother and father both comforted me, telling me, you know, we don't know what happened, but we do know that we're going to give you a good home. And my mother had already had a biological child, my older brother, so she was telling me and explained to me that for a mother to give a child up, she had to have loved me a lot.
- [03:48]
A
Yeah.
- [03:49]
B
Cut to. Growing up, my parents were always very aware of adoptees foster care. They knew the hardships of somebody who was in foster care, especially aging out.
- [04:05]
A
Right.
- [04:06]
B
When I grew up, I lived in la. I worked with foster care youth out there. I concentrated on the aging out. Where a lot of people don't know this, they just assume that, oh, when you're in foster care, you're taken care of, you're put into a home, there are bills or there are expenses that a foster family are paid to help that child. My mother pointed out that Once somebody turns 18 or 21, they are now stopped from any support financially. So by the time I moved to New York, a friend of mine was involved with New Yorkers for Children. And at that time, Nick Scopetta was still alive. I met with him and there was a lot of unawareness, let's say, of the aging out. And that was something that Nick and I really connected with. And he's the one who created New Yorkers for Children because of his own background. And I started to concentrate on the aging out.
- [05:12]
A
I think for me, you know, I know about all the wonderful work that you do from friends that have been involved with your organization. And, you know, and this is, you know, going on 20 plus years. And I now have a daughter who's 19 and she'll be 20 in the fall. And the amount of effort and oversight and support that she gets from her parents, from our family friends, from her godparents, this is what one of the reasons why I was so interested in talking with you both is just sort of to shine light on the importance of us as a community, as a society providing support for these young people. Because all of us who have kids, the age group, know that it takes a village to go on a race. It takes a lot of support to help guide a child from being a child into a young adult. And I learned that in New York you can leave foster care at 18. You can also opt in, I think, to stay until you're 21. But you're still a very young person. And there's just so much that goes into navigating that. And so tell me, so Nick Scapeta, as you mentioned, he was one of the founders or he was the found of New Yorkers for Children. And so back then, what year is this, Nancy, that you and he connected?
- [06:31]
B
It must have been 25 years ago. Yeah, it was a long, you know, a long time ago. And he has passed. But his legacy now keeps New Yorkers for Children very robust in what they do here in New York City.
- [06:45]
A
So I, I want to talk about some of their sort of specific kind of new initiatives that they're engaged in. But what just for people that are listening, that are not as familiar, what sort of services do they provide for those, the kids that are aging out, perhaps?
- [07:00]
B
Adi, would you be able to talk about that and discuss it?
- [07:06]
C
I mean, I could email some of the programs I know of personally. I wasn't part of all of them, just a few I do know it's a combination of emotional and financial assistance. In the emotional part looks like meeting monthly with. They have a trained therapist on site. She's great. Her name is Cecily. She's great. They also have cohort in a school and that's where they pair older youth. So that's for their next Scholars program, which helps with. Whoa, four years of financial assistance for school on top of direct cash transfers. I think that's the correct description of it. And then there's their cohort connections, which pairs a older youth with a youth coming into the program. And they kind of act like mentors one on one, which I think is amazing. They have a lot of other programs. Again, I'm just mentioning the ones I.
- [08:10]
A
Know, the ones that you, that you took advantage of. So how, Eddie, tell us, you know, before we sort of talk about your foster care, your experience there. But how did you come to find New Yorkers for Children?
- [08:21]
C
A former staff recommended it to my foster parent. I don't call her that. I call her Grandma. I lived with her 10 years. I think it's just rude to call her, you know, Ms. So and so not Ms. Grandma. She got in contact with grandma. She said, oh, I think this will be great for 80. I was entering my, I think it was my last, my second semester freshman year, and I interviewed that I remember was December. And by January I was in the program.
- [08:55]
A
So now you're 18, actually, I guess might be sort of around the sweet spot that New Yorkers for Children might help and, you know, sort of provide support services. And so your, your, your grandma, as you call her. Right. She sort of referred you to New Yorkers for Children. And then you. There was an interview process. You mentioned sort of become part of the program. So they wanted to make sure that you had buy in or that you were excited about participating. Was that kind of the.
- [09:21]
C
I get tense during interviews, but it was very casual, I'll say it was two rounds of interviews. One was, I think your generic, like, why do you want to be part of the program? What would it offer for you? And part of the process was also doing a letter, an admissions essay. Let's say after the second round of interviews, they tell you, hey, like, we're actually interested in you. Do you want to come back for the second interview? And then that's just a one on one with whomever was doing that one on one that day. Yeah. And then they're like, welcome, hooray.
- [09:58]
A
And so then they tell you about all the services that they offer. Is there sort. I know there's obviously a building that houses the organization. Is it more of a clubhouse? Are you going there for your services or how do you still engage with New Yorkers for Children?
- [10:12]
C
When I entered it was, I want to say, 2022, early 2022. And when I entered it was during the era of COVID still. It was, I think, not as hype, but it was still Covid. So I want to say most of the meetings, if not all happen via Zoom. It's interesting for sure. And then gradually, I want to say like 2023. Yeah, 2023 is when they started moving in more into a like, as we all know, a hybrid type of situation where some meetings were in person and these meetings where one was a checkup meeting once a month to just, I guess, check in to whether school was going, how I wanted it to go and any goals in mind I had, either personally, professionally, or just anything, to be honest. And then any needs that I may have at the moment. It followed with a monthly meeting with their youth advisory board. And there was always, always went hand in hand.
- [11:22]
A
You talked about Grandma, who was you know when did you first get into foster care and was. She sounds like she was a. Obviously a parent in your life and helped guide you to get through the college experience, right? I mean graduating from high school, applying to college, that's a big. That's a really big deal. So tell me. So I guess maybe tell us about sort of how you two first met and what age you were and then sort of when did you or how did you decide to go to college and how did she help you navigate all that?
- [11:55]
C
I enter foster care in 2014. I should have been 12 by then. Turning 13 the following I guess year and I didn't go to her. Her home first. She was called for me and my. I have two sisters. She was called for me and them but she didn't want kids at that time. I went to home in Long island but visits to come from Long island to Queens was just too much. So I got moved again.
- [12:27]
A
Then I guess did it having visits with your siblings or with your biological family or what. What were the visits from Queens to Long Island?
- [12:36]
C
It was from Long island to Queens. The. My foster parent at the time was located in Long island and she had to travel at least two hours to get into Queens. And that was an ideal. Then they had us in school in Brooklyn so it was very hectic and I think it was kind of counterproductive to our well being. So they moved us. I stayed for like a month there. Then they moved us again in November because I came into I believe was the summertime. I came into care. Then they moved us again in November. We stayed in another home for like another month. Again did the traveling. It was another situation of just a hot mess. Traveling wise. Then again, I think the third time is the charm. I ended up in the first house that I was supposed to go to anyways ended up with grandma. I remember it because I celebrated my 13th birthday with her. With her in the agency office. It's very awkward but I celebrated my birthday then and. Yeah.
- [13:43]
A
So your sisters were with you. Your sisters. Oh, that's great. And how old are your sisters now?
- [13:49]
C
I wouldn't be able to actually tell you. I'm not in touch with them. They went back with my parents. Well, my mother. Then they moved and I want to say one is 16 and the other one is 18.
- [14:01]
A
Yeah.
- [14:01]
C
Because she returned 19. December. Yeah, one is 18. 18 and one is 16. But I didn't stay in touch with them.
- [14:11]
A
And so now you're. But obviously you're. You're still in touch with grandma and so what did she say to you? You know, have you thought about college or tell us about that?
- [14:19]
C
All her children went to college. She went to college herself. It wasn't a thought I ever had of going to college. I just thought about going into the workforce straight away after high school. And then she mentioned, like, hey, do you. This is something you want? And I'm like, hey, why not? And then start off with me picking the college that she graduated from. And I was like, you know what? I think this is the safest bet right now. She went there. She turned out great. I could turn out great, too. Then in high school, I had a. I had college advisors there, too. So it was between the mix of them helping me apply and then Grandma helping me apply. And the only problem at that time was that financial aspect of college. Thankfully, I went to school on the full ride for four years, so there was no worried on that end.
- [15:15]
B
Wow, that's great.
- [15:17]
C
And, yeah, and I got into the college I wanted. Actually, it was the only college I applied to, so there was no other option.
- [15:26]
A
Where did you go, Eddie? Where did you.
- [15:28]
C
I attended Macaulay Honors at John Jay College. I'm an injustice. Yeah. It was great for you.
- [15:36]
A
And so Nancy, Adie was talking about some of the services that she and Adie. So I guess while you're. You're in college, right. You talked about your parent with someone who was older than you. You had sort of services, it sounds like, of helping you kind of plan your goals and checking in on how you're feeling. And then also financial support. Right. Getting some financial support from New Yorkers for children while you were there.
- [16:03]
C
Yeah.
- [16:04]
A
Yeah.
- [16:05]
C
I wanna be clear. I wasn't part of the Cohort Connection program. It's just a program I like to highlight sometimes because it is a great program.
- [16:13]
A
The Cohort Connection is the matching with an older.
- [16:17]
C
Yes, that's the one. I was part of their Nick Scholars program. That's the program I was part of.
- [16:26]
A
And Nancy, what. I mean, with your involvement with the organization, I mean, it sounds like they have so many different programs. Are there sort of consistent issues that the New Yorkers for Children is seeing that some of. I mean, by the way, again, all teenagers. That's why I find it so important that the work that you're doing, because all teenagers need so much support that I guess, like, where do you start as an organization to help give these kids, you know, sort of all the components of support that they need?
- [16:58]
B
Right. What I like to do is put people in that frame of mind where you're talking about your daughter. I have kids. I had to help them get through school or as simple as admissions. And when we live our lives, can you imagine a child who now has parents, let's say a child who's in foster care. Think about what your life would be like if at 18 or 21 it just all stopped. Yeah, there's no more money, there's no more, you know, guidance. Hopefully you get to a great, you know, foster care family and you do somehow stumble upon these services. But we don't even think about how it is just an abrupt stop in the life of somebody who is aging out the services. We do a great job cultivating relationships with the acs, with the children's services as well as we create probably our own. I know we create most of our own funding because these days everything is kind of getting cut. But we're constantly learning more about what we could do educational, how we can help with scholarships. That's one of our main things. Also what we're going to start to do is not everyone is probably equipped or wants to go to a four year university. We have a very robust university program. At Neworka's four children, one being like 80 is Nick scholarship recipient is vocational education where a child, I don't mean to say child, a youth, sorry that you could graduate from high school. Hopefully there is a nice seamless connection from New Yorkers for children for a, a scholarship to something that's two years that can immediately get them out into the work field, raising money for, for them to live somewhere, for housing in a vocational education and then get them out there. I think the programs we have are everything from like back to college, back to school, the supplies. We raise money for counseling, we raise money to make sure there are programs for those that are diverse. I think that that's one of the things that I think New Yorkers for children can do. We're a small enough organization that we can see clearly, feet on the ground, what is needed for these youth coming out of foster care.
- [19:42]
A
Well, I had, you know, looked into some of the numbers, you know, and I think you mentioned that it's a small organization. And one of the things I think is so exciting is how it is a manageable number, meaning that you're able to have such a direct impact on so many of these young people. You know, there are I guess 6400 roughly children foster care in New York City. And then I guess this is the stats that I found from last year. About 1600 children are united with their parents, 347 were discharged to Kin Gap, which is another, which is where your children are not adopted, but they're then living with extended family or family friends is the Kin Gap program. And then 535 are adopted. So there's roughly 4,000 kids in New York City, which is a huge city, who are still in foster care and need these kinds of services. And you know, AD was fortunate enough to go to college and have her grandma. But for kids that are doing this trade program where they're just involved with New Yorkers for Children, I think they'd probably need a lot of support for housing. Right. In addition to job counseling and all that.
- [20:56]
B
Yes, that is correct. And creating a major direct impact is something that New Yorkers for Children is constantly working on as we're trying to find real estate to maybe create better housing. Well, one of the biggest things about New York for children and those 4,000, what can we do to create awareness? One thing that has to happen, we have all these great programs, but they need to know about them. So there's always like a big push. I'm the one in the room, you know, with the loudest voice is how do we get these youth to know about our program? The programs are there. Should we go to the schools? Should we. And so that's where the direct impact can happen, where who are in touch with these youth directly. We need to get them involved with our programs.
- [21:54]
A
It's almost a self selected group. Nancy, like to address your concern about how you get the word out. Grandma is an extraordinary person who's very proactive, who's like, let's, you know, she's as AD said, like it was a year later, she's already in school and she's being contacted by services saying, do you want to apply to school? She's like, I'm already a sophomore, I already got this. So for the kids that don't have the grandma, I guess is what I'm, you know, is the fact that you and New Yorkers for Children is trying to find those youth and that's, that's who you, you know, that's sort of the, the, you know, the group that needs a lot of this support the most. Right. And I, and I wonder, I wonder if like a, I know that there's so many. Maybe a public service can't, you know, ad campaign or something. I don't know how you get the word out to, I don't know, Instagram ad. How do you get the word out? Do people agree this is Good.
- [22:48]
C
I think I'm like in your age group at this point, the Internet and social media or electronics period. But I think it has to also do with just the communication because I think if agencies or programs also knew what they were offering and not. Yeah. What they were offering and then just communicating with one another to keep progress of the use, I think they will be better off. Or I think it's like having more staff like New Yorkers for Children does. I know for sure there's certain staff in there that go to the campuses to help apply for maybe financial aid. So it's having those people who are willing to go above and beyond, I think, is the question whether are those people there? And if they're not, then there's little to no effort there's going to be put in anything that they do.
- [23:42]
A
But it is like, as you said, sort of figuring out ways to let people know that the programs exist. And it sounds like New Yorkers for Children is doing a lot of that. Right. You said they're kind of going to school and trying to find these young people that may not know about all the offerings that the New Yorkers for Children has. So, Nancy, there was, I think it's called. This is what you were talking about. Is it a new program called Career Choice that New Yorkers for Children is working on, which I love and by the way, I think should be implemented at high schools everywhere. Right. I mean, there's a mass shortage of people going into the vocational trades.
- [24:22]
B
Yes, yes.
- [24:23]
A
Right. And so tell. I mean, you talked a little bit about it, but New Yorker's children would cover the expenses. Right. Of this trade or vocational education, I think, and then, you know, offering living stipends, which, by the way, in New York is, you know, it's so it's so expensive to live in New York. Right. So.
- [24:45]
B
Yes, yes. And that's why, you know, we're trying to. And we do have, you know, some housing. But I just feel like I should give my parents the credit for this vocational type of direction where for years my mom and my dad would give scholarships only for vocational education. They kind of could precede, you know, that there was going to be a shortage of nurses, of firemen, of, you know, it people. You could be a plumber, an engineer of. Of some sort. You could be a cabinet maker. And I'm applying what my parents did to New Yorkers for Children where when you do two years of schooling and get a trade, you're immediately out, like I said before, into the workplace and with those VO Techs, they are not four year colleges. They do not provide dorms, any sort of living. Living. So that's why I'm trying to make a move with New Yorkers for children to help with housing. So some of these youth can not go to a four year college. A lot of people have amazing skills. This is why with a two year or vocational education is great because they can immediately be educated for two years, get the skill that is best for them. At the same time, we don't have housing for vocational like we do with a college. So I'm trying to make a movement to emphasize for career choice. Those who would like to go to vocational education, we need funds to house them. And I got that from my parents.
- [26:32]
A
Nancy, that's amazing. You know, I never thought of that, that, you know, and that might be actually why some youth are. And maybe youth in foster care, you know, ad you could speak to this too maybe with some of the people that you've met and friends that you've maybe met. The New Yorkers for children that, you know, choosing college. And not everybody is 80 who gets a four year free ride, right? 80, you know, you must know this is, you know, you are, you are.
- [26:57]
B
That incredible that, well, I might say 80 is super smart.
- [27:01]
A
Yeah, I know.
- [27:03]
B
That's why career choice, we're chatting about it as much as we can because some of those youth are like, what could I do for four years? There's nothing at a university that interests me. But I love to work with my hands.
- [27:15]
A
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And actually, as we said, you know that this is, there's a mass shortage of people going into those vocations. I know what I was thinking is just, you know, I never thought about the fact that those vocational schools don't have housing. You know, maybe some kids are actually like, you know, what if I get this scholarship to go, or financial aid or aid to go to whatever college, at least I'll have a place to live. You know, I never thought about that. And that's so wonderful that New Yorkers for Children is helping to support that and bridge that gap because, you know, then they can actually get right out into the workforce. And those are really high paying jobs too.
- [27:57]
B
Yeah, no, for sure. And it's almost like we need to even double down and almost package a deal where if you decide as a youth you want to go out and do a trade, automatically you get room and board. Yes, that's one of the things that I really want to do with New Yorkers for children for my legacy let's say or even for my parents legacy, they're the ones who taught me about that is let's package a deal. We have amazing opportunities with these four year colleges and with scholarships. But I'd like to apply that for those who decide they want to go into a more technical vocational nursing trade out there.
- [28:41]
A
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- [31:06]
B
So I completely agree with you. And you know, we kind of did a, you know, a guerrilla study where my parents started to realize that some of these people then trades that are cabinet makers or firemen or electricians, they wanted different careers for their own children.
- [31:30]
A
Yes.
- [31:30]
B
Kind of, you know, opting out, creating this for their children, thinking more scholarships were available. People in communities, you know, in rural areas were able to go to a university. So now that's why there was such a huge shortage is because about 10 years ago, five years ago, everybody started to rally out of having their kids take over the business.
- [31:55]
A
That's so interesting because I think there was a big. There is a conception still and I think it's being debunked as the cost of education is just getting prohibitively expensive for most all Americans is that there was this sort of a feeling you have to go to college in order to have a future making X amount of dollars or a living. And that's actually not. A lot of kids are graduating with college degrees and they're not finding those jobs, which is, it's a. So you, the kid who's going to vocational school and then goes to be a plumber electrician and can make $100,000 a year. Right. Having their own. That is a. Anyway, it's just, I think that's changing this conversations are changing a little bit in Society. About four year colleges are wonderful and I want to hear 82 for a couple minutes or as long as you want to tell us about your master's and what you're pursuing and all your career goals. But it is, there is another path and I think it is a path that we need those services and we need, you know, to make sure that the kids who are interested in it and have that interesting capacity are supported in pursuing, you know, those vocational trades. But Nancy, this is your parents doing this in Kansas. They had a big initiative.
- [33:12]
B
They did, they did. Both of them have now passed on. My mother just passed away a couple earlier in the year and my father a couple years ago. And of their legacy they left and they've done it for years where they pinpointed the ag. The, the vocational education. And they really have been doing it for many, many years where they do two scholarships a year for a small community that will provide housing and education for a trade for vocational. I mean, that's where I got the idea where. And you know, my mother and father also knew that a lot of these people, even though they might not have been in foster care, my mother was also. Well, that's a big thing. She was also in a home that wasn't her own. It was an aunt and uncle. So she kind of considered herself a foster child as well. And they just thought, they see kids, they were involved with the community, they were understanding that like, you know, James was not going to go to a university, but look how great he was with his hands and how smart he was inventing things. And so they thought there are so many of these youth that would do that. So they've been giving scholarships and they're continuing as they have passed away. They're leaving a legacy of those scholarships.
- [34:44]
A
Oh, that's awesome. You know, my, I mentioned my husband's in the propane business and he has a lot of distribution in Connecticut and there are only 100 people who are certified to be commercial drivers of propane and it might be other hazardous materials in the entire state of Connecticut. He said it's a dying. And these jobs pay very well.
- [35:05]
B
Oh, my God.
- [35:06]
A
So there's. There is so much need for, you know, you know, anyway, this, I, I think it's incredible what you're doing and what an amazing way to honor your parents and their legacy to bring that program to New Yorkers for children. So Ad, tell us what you're doing. I mean, are we talking about. Are you thinking about getting and working for the DA's office? Are you thinking of, you know, you're getting your master's. So tell us you're with John Jay. Tell us. Or you went to John Jay undergrad. Where are you right now getting your master's?
- [35:38]
C
Before I answer you, I wanted to add that even when the idea of a vocational program was just announced, they actually, I think you will love this. They had all the youths who are part of the youth Advisory Board come in and kind of pitch in. Not pitch in, but like they tell us, is it what the five year program, the five year plan, how it was going to be revamped, what did we think about it and how it was it was going to look like? Because the next Scholars program is being sunset after, I guess. I think it has one More cohort to take over the vocational program. And it's something that we all agree, we thought it was great. And because I kept 100% say college is not for everyone. Like, trust me, I was lashing out because I was stressed. So I imagine people who have a lot going on. I don't think it's for everyone and people have other entrances. But in terms of school, I did my bachelor's at John Jay in forensic psychology, minor in counseling. I then decided to still stay in that same area. So I went back. I'm going back to John Jay still for a master's program in forensic mental health counseling. My ideal job is to work for corrections. We'll see. Life has a way of changing things, but I'm pretty stubborn, so more likely we'll end up there. So, yeah, I love.
- [37:05]
A
So when you're saying corrections, do you think that you mentioned, mentioned getting mental health counseling masters, Are you thinking about getting involved in mental health space in corrections?
- [37:16]
C
Yes, I like research. I've done several internships in research in prisons, ideally offer that research aspect while also giving people a second chance for rehabilitation with their emotional needs. I think part of being in the counseling or mental health field is that you have to believe in second chances. And I think that, you know, hurt people, hurt people. So I think half of these people end up there just because they didn't have the resources outside. And ideally, that's what I want to do. I try to fantasize it sometimes because I know it's not an easy job. I had several professors tell me, you sure 80? You sure? I'm like, yeah, unfortunately, yeah, fortunately for me. But I think it's something I really want to do again. We never know. I may end up working with children, which is a field I never wanted to work in. So we'll see, you know, life changing things.
- [38:13]
B
You would be such an asset. You would be such an asset.
- [38:21]
A
I agree with Nancy and I think it's just so inspiring, Eddie, that you have this innate desire to give back and want to help those that, as you said, if you look at the statistics of people that are incarcerated, which is why getting back to the mission of New Yorkers for children, having these services and providing these opportunities for young people is so important for their futures and for the future of society, broadly. Right. Because it's, you know, we all need a lot of support in our lives in so many different ways. But being a young person, if you don't know, as you said, Eddie, they didn't have you said hurt people are hurt or people who don't know their opportunities or they, you know, don't see a path forward. You know, it's very easy to end up in a place you didn't mean to end up in. Right.
- [39:10]
B
So I think one of the great things about New Yorkers for Children is we talked about how small the organization is for New Yorkers for Children, meaning they're constantly hands on. They're always trying new programs. Whether or not they work or not, we will seek them through. And as the times are changing and the needs for youth are changing, one thing that I am proud about is New Yorkers for Children will think of a program that might not be, you know, created yet and what listening to the youth and what is needed. And I think that some programs that we worked on not long ago, we might not be doing. And then there's always something new and we will really try and make an impact based on what the needs are for the youth. And that's, I think that's one of the most proud things. I really am excited about New Yorkers for Children.
- [40:07]
A
That is amazing, Nancy. So tell me, you mentioned 80 of this youth advisory board and your involvement with that. Is that sort of, Nancy, how a lot of the programs kind of evolve out of that, where you say to the youth, like, what do you all think? Or what do we need? Or what help did you. Were you looking for that you didn't get or that you feel like are obstacles that you think that New Yorkers for Children could help with?
- [40:31]
B
Yeah, I also think we work with organizations where they kind of see the families or the foster families and they also give feedback like, well, you know, our foster youth might need braces. Is there facilities? You know, we have to think. You have to remember that they're in a life situation that has needs. Think of our own kids, like you said, Leslie. Think about what your kids need. These youth need that too. And it's not like the government is paying for counseling or for orthopedics or things like that. So once you working with different organizations, we can hear what the needs are and it really is the clear, direct interaction. So we might go and have, I think AD might talked about that, where there are kind of support groups within it, or there might be those that come back after being through the group and go out kind of where the field is and kind of hear what's needed and they'll bring it back. And it could be something that we need more of a diverse program for those who are more diverse in their living and so we take that seriously. And that's what's so great about a direct impact, is we know from those voices what is needed, and we will put together a program, and we hope that it will fulfill those needs. If not, we'll take a different direction, trying to find something that does work.
- [42:09]
A
You having your experience, not only just your own experience, you know, you were very young, so you don't remember, I think, being adopted by your family, but hearing, like, hearing your story from your parents and hearing or learning from your parents about how they prioritize kind of giving back and supporting kids that were in foster care. I guess your mom also had her own experience. It must be so rewarding for you. Or tell us about how it feels to be involved with an organization like New Yorkers for Children.
- [42:41]
B
Well, when you start to understand. I have a quick story. So when I was in the group home, my parents got a call that there was a baby that was available. And so that was me. They would go to Topeka, Kansas. That's where my group home was. They would go to Topeka. They would visit me in the group home, and they kind of present. I presented. Well, I had a beautiful white dress and a little white bonnet, and they would present me. And so they would, you know, ooh and ah over me. And then Ethel Funston, my social worker, would then carry me away with a baby nurse who was at the group home and then say to my parents, why don't you go take a break? And that was kind of code for, if you feel like this isn't going to work, don't come back.
- [43:32]
A
Right, right.
- [43:34]
B
And it wasn't spoken, but it was kind of emphasized. You just knew that that was happening. They came back. I was then presented again with a nice presentation of a beautiful gown and a little bonnet. And then they also dismissed my parents again, for if they just wanted to get out of it, they didn't have to come back. And my mother told me this story that kind of defined a little bit about what they felt that they taught me going forward. The last time that they came to get me, they decided that it would be a good fit. And so they had told my parents, oh, when you come back, you might want to bring an outfit. And they were like, oh, okay, okay. So they come back knowing that the union would happen. And my mother's like, now, why would I bring an outfit? And Ethel Flintston was like, oh, the outfit doesn't go with her.
- [44:37]
A
Oh, because that's the presentation outfit. Is that what they're. Oh, My gosh.
- [44:41]
B
So, you know, so my mother was.
- [44:45]
C
Like, okay, here you are.
- [44:47]
B
You're being loved and you're being taken care of, and it's time to pass the torch. But there's just a hard abrupt that doesn't come with you. And that was a metaphor for her to kind of teach me that, you know what? When people are in kind of a foster care way, they are being cared. And Adie had a wonderful grandma, she calls her. And when they changed me into my outfit to go home, that abruptness really kind of was a metaphor for my mother telling me, hey, it's all great, and then sometimes it can just stop. Yeah. But they did. Ethel Funston did give my parents the bonnet.
- [45:38]
A
And ad. How does it, you know, you're part of the Youth Advisory Board. You know, you're planning this career in public service. How does it feel, you know, for you to give back to New Yorkers for Children or do. Or how do you feel about the organization and kind of the impact that it's had?
- [45:55]
C
I think New Yorkers for Children, for me at first, was a community in the sense that unanimously, we can all say, especially in a room full of youth who were in care, how just one phrase such as, oh, tell me your story, can be very upsetting to us. How, like we all, although we may have different experiences, different circumstances, certain things tie us. Whether we know or not, whether we like each other or not, we have that bond, you know? And I think for me, at first, I saw how the Youth Advisory Board was ran, and I was like, oh, I like what they're doing here. I like how we're in a space that just belongs to us and nobody else. How everybody in this room understands. I don't have to tell you, can you put yourself in my shoe? Because you were in my shoe. Maybe in a different color, a different size, but you were in that same shoe once upon a time. So just being in the room full of people, I was like, oh, I want to do this. So not the. This year, the year before. I. We have elections because it's democracy. And I was. I wanted to run for vice president, so I got that. Then I ran again the following year for vice president. I really liked the work I was doing. I love making presentations and planning, by the way. So I was like, oh, like, I want to do this again. And then opportunity opened for me to also become part of the executive board members, which Nancy's part of. And I love the work that they do sitting in the room and their ideas, going it feels, I don't know, feel alive. Little buzz baby. Like, it's just. It's great. And I. I love the fact that our voices are included in almost every bit of the conversation and choices that are made. It's not just like, oh, I think this is what works best for youth, is more like, oh, this is what we're hearing. This is the comments, concerns, suggestions, and let's actually put that into effect, you know. So, again, for me, is that collaboration and community aspect that I've drew me in and continues to draw me back in. And, yeah, I love it there.
- [48:11]
A
I.
- [48:12]
B
You know, Leslie, you. You said, how do I feel about New Yorkers for children?
- [48:19]
A
Yeah.
- [48:21]
B
When I see people like 80, how can you not get excited? How can you not just see these youth and how they are crazy smart and the drive they have? I would say, you know, along with 80, you can talk to many of these youths in New York for children. They're all getting, you know, a lot of them are getting masters. A lot of them are finding themselves. There's one person who's in art school, she's doing amazing. And that's probably one of the biggest kind of paybacks being involved is to watch the youth like, 80. She's going to kill it. Yeah.
- [49:01]
C
Thank you. Bringing it back to the staff. I will always shout out the staff anytime I get, because it's hard. How do the youth, like, they may not know how to vocalize things and is, you know, is a staff there to help them? Just make them feel at home. I will tell you, I. I'm a mom. I have a son. So when I bring him in the office, mind you, it took me two years to bring him there because I'm very loving, I'm very protective. So when finally, when everybody was like, oh, this is the Anthony we hear about, it's very welcoming when I come in. And. And it's not just for me. It's for every other youth. I make it a conscious choice or decision to know the youth I represent or the youth I work with, to know their names, like you best believe Alex. And if any of the youth are coming in, I'm sure I'm like, good morning. How was your day? How is school? You know, is that French class still annoying? I was almost over it. Like, I think being very much intentionally involved and not in a superficial way, because I'm very much interested if that French class is going well. I'm interested in their success. So just kind of just, you know, having staff that also do that and Emulate that love for them, for them to thrive and be well is, I think, what makes the difference, too. And, like, some of them be like, eddie, I'm scared. I don't want to talk to her. I'm like, she doesn't bite. I say, she doesn't. So, you know, having those experiences and just sharing with them, it's like, I don't know, it's just amazing. In their phone.
- [50:41]
A
Yeah, it's you paying it forward, though, ad, as you said. Like, you had the staff that was, you know, asking you how your day was and. And that, I think, you know, is what everybody needs, right? It's just to know that someone care, you know, having someone who cares about you, wants to see you do well, is invested in you, is, you know, really helps you. All of us, all of us believe in ourselves, right. And be willing to take the next step in whatever it is that we're doing. So for people who are listening, who are want to get involved in New Yorkers for Children, what is the best way, do you two think, to do that? I guess maybe go to the website and support it. Right. You could go to make a donation, but what else? I think there are some partnerships. Right.
- [51:27]
B
Well, one thing that's great is New York for Children will take your call. They are more than happy to reach out to anyone who's interested and probably explain some of the programs and directly connect you. So I think having New Yorkers for Children, the website, the phone number, and kind of just contacting them, it is small enough that they're going to take your call, they're going to get back to you. They're very excited to have people really part of New Yorkers for Children.
- [52:03]
A
Yeah, I think, you know, it's such a good point, Nancy, just to reach out and see what ways you can help. Because I think one of the things I was reading about is you all are looking for ways to sort of forge partnerships with different businesses, too, if you want. They want to provide an internship for a young person or if they are in a company that offers vocational training. New Yorkers for Children really wants to meet the youth that it serves, where they are, and see how they can best support them. So just reach out, I guess, is the first. Right.
- [52:35]
B
Even if you might not have the funds, you know, to donate, sometimes the services are just as valuable. Tell us your story. Tell us what your experience, you know, was. Whether it was through New Yorkers for Children or not, everybody's got a story that will then lead you somewhere. And if you are a person that would like to make a donation, gosh, know where your money's going. New Yorkers for Children will put you directly into a program that might be interest to you for funding. Yeah. Large. That's what's so great about New Yorkers for Children. Yeah.
- [53:10]
A
And you're just looking at, you know, someone like you, Adie, as Nancy said, you know, just that's sort of all the kind of evidence you need of how the importance of, you know, just being a caring adult in a young person's life and supporting them as they go from youth into adulthood or young adulthood into older adulthood. So really so excited for you, A.D. and, and congratulations to you, sweetie, for all that you're doing and thank you for all you're doing too, to give back to. To this organization.
- [53:43]
C
If you're in awe with me, you should meet the other youth. We're like, like a big unicorn.
- [53:51]
B
About a posse. You know, one of. One of the great joys is the yearly event where they take over an area and they really are some of the most beautiful people exterior and interiorly. And, you know, we love to celebrate them. They're worth celebrating. And that's one thing that's really exciting, is to watch these guys flourish. Yeah.
- [54:17]
A
You know, thankfully, with all the work that you all are doing, you know, you guys won't be unicorns anymore. Right. There'll be so many kids or younger people who are getting access to these opportunities and thriving like you are. AD you both are really inspiring people. I'm so delighted to have spent time talking to you both, and I really appreciate you taking the time to be on the podcast and all. You know, it was really wonderful to hear all wonderful work that you're doing.
- [54:49]
B
Well, it is very exciting, I think. AD I don't want to speak for her, but the idea that you're interested, the idea that you want to learn more about foster care aging out is also as important as us telling the story. So I want to ask you, how did you discovered that you wanted to do a podcast about New Yorkers?
- [55:11]
A
No, I, I just thought a lot about it because as I, you know, sort of mentioned at the outset, I, you know, thought a lot about sort of all that goes into, you know, Nancy, you have kids like getting these kids launched and I thought, gosh, for kids that don't have now, ADU had a wonderful grandma, but just kids are in foster care. The fact that at 18, you know, they can leave if they didn't, you know, let's say they just didn't connect with their foster parent, they can leave at that time and then they're in the world. It's like, oh, my gosh, where do you start? How do you figure out, you know, how to pay your rent? How do you figure out all the life skills that if you're just sort of. So I just. Knowing the work that you all do, I just wanted to sort of highlight what's the need that's there, first of all, and then what people can do to help support this work. Because to me, you know, launching kids into the world at 18 or 21 without a safety net or support network is just not in the best interest of our. Of our society, our communities. It's just not. It's heartbreaking to me because literally I just. My daughter will call and be like.
- [56:20]
B
How do I get.
- [56:21]
A
I'm like, oh, my gosh. And she's 19 and has had always a lot of support, and she is a very capable, wonderful person. But it's just. There's a lot that goes into, you know, figuring out life, you know, a lot for all of us. And so that's sort of my thinking was it just. It'd be nice to highlight an organization that's really trying to hone in on the needs of this particular age group and the importance of supporting them. Because as you said, the sort of. The government doesn't. You're kind of in that spot where you don't. There's no place really to go.
- [56:59]
B
Right.
- [57:00]
A
And I think if you were to look at. I don't have the statistics, but I did my senior thesis in college. I majored in public policy at Occidental in la. And we was on homelessness. And there was a. We could go off piste here, but a lot of young youth that become homeless when they get out of foster care, you know, I don't know if that's still the case, but that was the case when I did my thesis 30 years ago. So it's really important that we all care about supporting our young people, you.
- [57:25]
B
Know, and it takes moments like this to get the awareness out.
- [57:30]
A
Yeah. Well, thank you, Nancy, so much for taking the time, especially as you're leaving for a wedding this afternoon in London. And ad you too, on summer break, I want you to like, you know, hit the beach, get a pina colada. I mean, you've got. When do you get back to school? You've got to really soak in August.
- [57:49]
C
Yeah, but see, I like staying busy. Even like, I had my. My cousins over and when they left. I felt so empty. I like doing.
- [57:59]
A
Yeah.
- [58:00]
C
So for now I'm an avid reader. For now I'm reading. Yeah, rereading books I thought was boring, but I just, I think I just had no interest. So that's what I'm doing right now.
- [58:12]
A
But Nancy, it was so nice to meet you.
- [58:13]
B
Thanks for your caring.
- [58:15]
A
Good luck.
- [58:16]
C
Next year, the Wedding Send those pictures.
- [58:20]
A
So great to see you guys. Thanks a lot. That brings us to the end of this episode of Duolog. A huge thank you to Adi Asario and Nancy Jarecki for joining and for all that they're doing to make our world a better place. A big thank you too to our amazing sponsor, Cozy Earth Run. Don't Walk to check out their website, cozyearth.com they have amazing sheets, beautiful blankets, pajamas. The list goes on. They have everything for everyone on your holiday list. Don't forget to use the promo code Duologue at checkout for 20% off. And if you enjoyed this episode, please rate and review us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. We're taking a bit of time off this holiday season. We'll have a new episode on January 8th, so please tune in then. And until then, thank you all so much for all of your support of the podcast this year and wishing you all a very, very happy holiday season and a happy 2026.