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Jamie Kern Lima
Coming up in this incredible Part two episode with Gary Vaynerchuk.
Gary Vaynerchuk
This could literally be. This could be the single thing that changes people's lives that are listening. I've never had this conversation with anybody.
Jamie Kern Lima
AI social media. Are any of us going to have a job in a few years?
Gary Vaynerchuk
It's unbelievable how easy that question is for me and how quickly I can.
Jamie Kern Lima
Answer it from advice on mindset and how to succeed on social media with AI and and entrepreneurship and how to know exactly what's coming next and what to do about it in a world of technology and AI that's changing by the second. I am so excited for this conversation.
Gary Vaynerchuk
I have never answered this question. I do not have an inner critic. A I don't really criticize other people. In fact, I would argue the reason so many people listening judge themselves is they're spending too much time judging others. By not judging others, you don't practice the concept of judgment which allows you to not judge yourself.
Jamie Kern Lima
Do you believe God exists?
Gary Vaynerchuk
Yes. You do? I do. If I can show men and women that you can build an empire and be a mother gangster and be a really nice person, that would be a tremendous accomplishment. Every single negative comment that I have ever gotten has been immediately reacted to with deep compassion. Do you know how stinky your life is? If you spend time going on the Internet, you've actually spent a few minutes of your life to go to another human being's social media account and leave something nasty. Misery loves company. That is a miserable act. What would I tell those people? It's not gonna kill your business. There's not one restaurant that's out of business in this world with a one star Yelp review. That's nasty. Has never happened. How to protect themselves from the negative comments is to not believe the positive comments. People are susceptible to criticism and negativity because they're over in need of positive reinforcement. If you want to become addicted to the cheering, you become susceptible to the booing. If you're someone who says they they need to earn my trust, I ask you to do the mental work to get out of that mindset. It means you're scared. It means you're emotionally weak. It means you're scared someone can hurt you.
Jamie Kern Lima
Congratulations to your newlywed. Yes, your newlywed. Yes, your wife, Mona.
Gary Vaynerchuk
What is greater than love? Yeah, like what?
Jamie Kern Lima
We now know that you want more kids first on the Jamie Kiran Lima show. Mona, she's the love of your life.
Gary Vaynerchuk
We're just a fucking match, man. You know, like a puzzle. Like it's just, it's just a level of like joy and partnership and humor. Like, you know, I think people just like everything. Just like every ounce of it. We're not like this now because we made it. We made it because we were like this.
Jamie Kern Lima
Mm. Mm. All right.
Gary Vaynerchuk
You know how real that was right then. So it's like so uncomfortably right? James, this stuff is like so fun to talk about. I'm so in the zone with you right now.
Jamie Kern Lima
So I'm getting to see the goosebumps up the arms. I'm getting to see the tears well in your eyes. I'm getting to see, like to feel the light energy.
Gary Vaynerchuk
If you're emotionally light and you love everything and you just let it go, you're fuck faster.
Jamie Kern Lima
Yeah. So good. Gary is a serial entrepreneur and serves as the chairman of VaynerX, the CEO of VaynerMedia, and the CEO and creator of the entertainment and collectibles company the Friends. Gary is considered one of the leading global minds on what's next in culture, business and the Internet. He was an early investor in companies like Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Venmo, Snapchat, Coinbase, and Uber. He's a six time New York Times best selling author and documents his daily life as a CEO through his social media channels which have more than 45 million followers. His podcast, the Gary Vee Audio Explains Experience ranks amongst the top podcasts globally. He's a newlywed to his wife Mona, a dad of two and he's the person millions of people look to daily. And he's taken time out of his busy schedule. He's flown here, he's in person on the podcast just for you today. And whether today you're listening for yourself or because someone that you love shared this episode with you, I wanna welcome you to the Jamie Curran Lima Show Podcast family. Thank you so much for being here. And can you take two seconds right now and just hit the subscribe or follow button on the app that you're listening or watching on? Thank you so much. It truly means so much to me. You can also get your inspiration into your inbox from me for free. You can join my newsletter community@jamiekernlima.com Also, this incredible podcast episode today, it's not just for you and me. Please share this with every single person you know who might need some inspiration today. We or perhaps a boost in their self belief. Because what you can hear today can truly impact mine, yours and their lives too.
Gary Vaynerchuk
Welcome to the Jamie Kern Lima Show.
Jamie Kern Lima
Oprah, how have you defied the odds.
Gary Vaynerchuk
Her show is unlike any I've ever done. A revelation. When you listen, it feels like a hug. But your brain and your spirit and your heart is like, wow.
Jamie Kern Lima
Melinda French Gates.
Gary Vaynerchuk
When I look into Jaime's eyes, I feel like I am on some other cosmic level with her. I could see the light around her. She's infused with light.
Jamie Kern Lima
Imagine overcoming self doubt, learning to believe in yourself and trust yourself and know you are enough. Welcome to the Jamie Kern Lima show.
Gary Vaynerchuk
Jamie Kern Lima is her name. Everybody needs Jamie Kern Lima in their life. Jamie Kern Lima. Jamie, you're so inspired. Inspiring. Jamie Kern Lima. I spend a lot of time with 18 year old entrepreneurs about IRL streaming and AI and then 80 year old real estate and like, you know, those kind of characters.
Jamie Kern Lima
Yeah. You know, it's wild. I was this. So I was. I was in Copenhagen last week at a table in a restaurant.
Gary Vaynerchuk
Yes.
Jamie Kern Lima
And there's a couple next to me in their 80s.
Gary Vaynerchuk
Yes.
Jamie Kern Lima
And the guy's phone goes off and he's doing audio prompts to ChatGPT.
Gary Vaynerchuk
Yeah.
Jamie Kern Lima
He's in his 80s. And I'm like, the whole world is changing so fast, 100%. So much to ask you about Veefriends, about AI, about social media, about ChatGPT, about all of it, about AGI, all of it. I want to ask you though, because this is such a big thing for people when it comes to their own inner critic.
Gary Vaynerchuk
Yes.
Jamie Kern Lima
In their own head. Do you ever feel like, do you ever feel your own inner critic? And if so, what do you do? How do you handle it?
Gary Vaynerchuk
I don't have an inner critic.
Jamie Kern Lima
You have no inner.
Gary Vaynerchuk
Inner critic. I have no inner critic.
Jamie Kern Lima
Nothing. No negative thoughts.
Gary Vaynerchuk
I have a massive inner, accountable coach.
Jamie Kern Lima
Okay.
Gary Vaynerchuk
That's a very different thing.
Jamie Kern Lima
Yeah, explain.
Gary Vaynerchuk
I'll explain. Every other human being sucks too. I'm going to dramatically pause here right now. This could literally be. This could be the single thing that changes people's lives that are listening. Every other human being sucks too. I do not have an inner critic. This is potentially. I've never had this conversation with anybody. I've never thought about an inner critic. This is a fun moment for me too, in real time. I have never answered this question. I've never thought about this. That was really fun to answer. I do not have an inner critic. A. I don't really criticize other people. In fact, I would argue the reason so many people listening judge themselves is they're spending too much time judging others by not judging others. You don't practice the concept of judgment which allows you to not judge yourself. I do not criticize myself because I am aware that I will make unbelievable amounts of micro mistakes in my life. I have an inner accountable coach. I am not delusional. I do not look the other way with my shortcomings. I'm wildly accountable. In fact, I think everything in my life that isn't going well is 100% my fault. I'm accountable. I'm not critical. I'm not cynical to myself. I love myself unconditionally. I also love others unconditionally, even in the face of their shortcomings towards me, let alone the world. I do not have an inner critic, but I do have an accountable coach who might be the best accountable coach in the world.
Jamie Kern Lima
When you look at the data and you see 80% of women don't believe they're enough. 70 something percent of men feel inadequate and not enough. Where do you think unworthiness comes from? Do you think it's comparison? Do you think it's not realizing everyone else sucks too?
Gary Vaynerchuk
Envy, jealousy, the incredible thirst to put other human beings on a pedestal.
Jamie Kern Lima
Do you put anyone on a pedestal?
Gary Vaynerchuk
My mom.
Jamie Kern Lima
Your mom?
Gary Vaynerchuk
Yes. I put a lot of people on a pedestal. You ready for this?
Jamie Kern Lima
Yeah.
Gary Vaynerchuk
Only if I find them unconditionally kind. I only put kindness on a pedestal. I do not put Lebron. I do not put athletic. I'm a die hard sports fan. I do not put athletic capability on a pedestal. I definitely do not put financial accomplishment on a pedestal. I do not put. I definitely do not put fame and following count on a pedestal. These are things that most people put on a pedestal.
Jamie Kern Lima
Yeah.
Gary Vaynerchuk
And I think that's what's hurting them. James, there are so many people that have made more money than me that I'm a better on paper businessman than because of time. You know how business works. You're a businesswoman. Timing right place, right time. Right. Like sold a company like later, it was worth nothing a year later. But they were in the right place at the right time. I am happy for those people. I watch my fellow contemporaries be upset about that. I have almost no envy and jealousy. Why? Why would you ever not be happy for another person? Nobody's happiness, success comes at your expense. No one's. Not one dollar made and not one smile and not one joyous moment that another human being feels has any impact on your capacity to make a dollar, create a smile or have joy.
Jamie Kern Lima
Do you believe God exists?
Gary Vaynerchuk
Yes. You do? I do. I think it's complicated. I feel like everyone's allowed to have their version of it. But yeah, I've always felt that feeling. I really believe heaven is a supercomputer. I literally believe heaven is like this hangout. I am going to be so pissed if it's not like that. I will be the most unhappy dead person in the history of death if the second I die, I can't feel that I know what's going on. If it's actually over, I'm gonna be pissed.
Jamie Kern Lima
What do you think? Okay.
Gary Vaynerchuk
How that's funny to say out loud. I would be really pissed.
Jamie Kern Lima
Cause you wanna know all of it.
Gary Vaynerchuk
Cause I just love life so much that. Listen, fine. You don't wanna give me a body. You need to let me watch. You need to let me watch. God, you need to let me watch. I need to watch. You know?
Jamie Kern Lima
Yeah.
Gary Vaynerchuk
Plus, I live my life for the day after I die.
Jamie Kern Lima
What do you mean?
Gary Vaynerchuk
I believe the way I navigate life has a lot to do with my funeral. The way I show up. I'm really excited for my grandkids to see. Like, I think they're going. No matter how successful and how well known I become, hopefully when I'm 100 and die, I'll take 100. I still think my children and my grandchildren will be shocked how many people show up. Because I don't think people show up for how much money you make or how famous you become. I think they show up by how much you impacted them. And I believe that I really, on a day to day, hour by hour basis, show up for humans, strangers, acquaintances, employees, contemporaries, friends, relatives, all of them. I really do. You know what my least favorite saying in society is?
Jamie Kern Lima
What?
Gary Vaynerchuk
Nice guys finished last. It is my single. I don't use the word hate often. Like, in general. It's not really in my vocab. I hate that sentence. In fact, I've been thinking about starting a fashion brand called Nice Guys finish first. Because I think a lot of men are confused.
Jamie Kern Lima
And women.
Gary Vaynerchuk
And women. Yeah, yeah. In fact, when you. So thank you for saying that because when you said 80 and 70, I was like, fuck, 99% of both men and women. I want to change that badly. That would be a great accom. If anything, if anything, if anything, that I leave this world. If I can show men and women that you can build an empire and be a motherfucking gangster and be a really nice person, that would be a tremendous accomplishment.
Jamie Kern Lima
Yeah. You mentioned hate and how you don't like that word. What's your advice for people who. Cause you know, this happens to so many People there's, you know, doctors and lawyers that never. They don't want to be online, but they are. And their profile is. And their Yelp reviews are.
Gary Vaynerchuk
And.
Jamie Kern Lima
And they might be on Facebook with people in high school or, you know, or. So many people as you know are online every day. And that's how they communicate with their friends through all different platforms. And the amount of vitriol and trolling and how do you handle that? And also how do you advise other people who've lived a different life than you have and have a different makeup than you have?
Gary Vaynerchuk
Yes.
Jamie Kern Lima
What do you advise them to do when like that stuff wants to knock them to their knees and take them out?
Gary Vaynerchuk
It just has nothing to do with them. Fuck the compassionate catfish. The Vee friend. I dream of a day when everyone's wearing compassionate catfish hoodies and hats. I ask you all, and this is a very high level of emotional strength. So I say this lightly. I tread lightly. Everyone that's listening to all of you, My preference, if I had a magic potion that everybody could drink, what it would do is make them deal with that, with compassion. James, I mean this from the bottom of my soul. Every single negative comment that I have ever had, and I've had many. Cause I'm very public and I've been doing it for 20 years. And I poke at things. Ugh, you should have seen 15 years ago when I was yelling that college and college debt is crazy. Every parent on earth was sending me nasty DMs because the kids were getting affected. You know, you're a family that loves college and everything's going smooth and then your kid starts watching Gary Vee on TikTok and your 16 year old has straight A's and is on their way to Stanford, walks in and says, I'm not going to school. I'm empathetic to why that parent quickly went to my DM and said, you're a piece of crap. Every single negative comment that I have ever gotten has been immediately reacted to with deep compassion. Do you know how stinky your life is? If you spend time going on the Internet, you've actually spent a few minutes of your life to go to another human being social media account and leave something nasty. Misery loves company. That is a miserable act. It is inconceivable to me to ever leave a negative comment on another human being on social media. So what would I tell those people? A, it's not gonna kill your business. There's not one restaurant that's out of business in this world with a one star Yelp review. That's nasty. Has never happened. 500 of those might mean it's true. Not one, not two. Look at it from percentages. Jamie, you're gonna love this. Cause you've been incredibly successful and you've earned everything you've got. And you've been around a lot of successful people at this point in your life. Do you know how many. And you might be one of these people. Do you know many people get in fact, this. If you actually. Are you affected by negative comments?
Jamie Kern Lima
I think I'm not.
Gary Vaynerchuk
Okay.
Jamie Kern Lima
I think I'm not. And I'll share more in a second, please.
Gary Vaynerchuk
But this is gonna hit for you then. Cause we obviously have a lot of friends and acquaintances and business associates that are. Yes, there are people who get 99.8% comments that they're the greatest, the most beautiful, the most wonderful, they're the goat. And then one comment that like, you're ugly, you stink, you're a scam, cripples them. It's because they heard the compliments. The reason I'm not affected. What I would like to ask everybody on how to protect themselves from the negative comments is to not believe the positive comments. Because when people 98% of the time leave unbelievably kind, warm and over. I mean, I get too much credit from most of my comments on my posts because I don't believe them. That I'm the greatest, that I'm the goat, that I'm so iconic, that I'm so legendary. Because I do not believe them. I do not hear them when they say I'm the greatest. I'm doing this. Which means when they're saying I'm the worst, I'm doing this. People are susceptible to criticism and negativity because they're over in need of positive reinforcement. If you want to become addicted to the cheering, you become susceptible to the booing.
Jamie Kern Lima
So good. So good. Okay. How do you ignore the good stuff and the bad stuff and stick connect.
Gary Vaynerchuk
With community by not making it about you.
Jamie Kern Lima
Yeah.
Gary Vaynerchuk
This is one big game of selflessness.
Jamie Kern Lima
Yeah.
Gary Vaynerchuk
The reason I'm rolling for 20 straight years. And by the way, I haven't even started. I'm very. It's very clear to me that where I'm at right now is peanuts to where I'm going. Because I have the stomach to run the entire marathon. There is no burnout. I don't even begin the process of what could lead to burnout. Full detachment. Have no validation how I'm the most attached to community. This isn't about me and everyone thinks it's about them. You know, stuff. You know, amongst the personalities of the world that are similar to me, I play it different. Like I'm not as out. I'm ironically, even though I'm everywhere, I'm not really out. I'm not like red carpeting it. You know what I mean? I'm not really out. I'm in my cocoon, cooking my meals, doing my businesses, trying to put out stuff. It's not about me. I'm thrilled for the collateral things that come to me because of it. No crap. If you do remarkably good things, good things will happen to you. In fact, I would argue karma is the most practical energy in the world. People act like karma is some sort of weird lucky thing. Karma is the definition of karma to me at least is you are doing awesome things for lots of people all the time. Of course that leads to good things for you. The world loves you. I'll give you one. This should be interesting for your audience.
Jamie Kern Lima
We need to pause for a super brief break and while we do, take a moment and share this episode with every single person that you know who this could inspire. Because this conversation can truly be the words and inspiration that they need to hear today. To keep going, to remember that they matter, and to feel less alone and more enough, more connected and more worthy. In life, you don't soar to the level of your hopes and dreams. You stay stuck at the level of your self worth. When you build your self worth, you change your entire life. And that's exactly why I wrote my new book Worthy how to believe you are enough and transform your life for you. If you have some self doubt to destroy and a destiny to fulfill, Worthy is for you. In Worthy you'll learn proven tools and simple steps that bring life changing results. Like how to get unstuck from the things holding you back. Build unshakable self love, unlearn the lies that lead to self doubt and embrace the truths that wake up worthiness, overcome limiting beliefs and imposter syndrome. Achieve your hopes and dreams by believing you are worthy of them and so much more. Are you ready to unleash your greatness and step into the person you were born to be? Imagine a life with zero self doubt and unshakable self worth. Get your copy of Worthy plus some amazing thank you bonus gifts for you@worthybook.com or the link in the show notes below. Imagine what you'd do if you fully believed in you. It's time to find out with worthy. Who you spend time around is so, so important as energy is contagious and so is self belief. And I'd love to hang out with you even more, especially if you could use an extra dose of inspiration. Which is exactly why I've created my free weekly newsletter that's also a love letter to you delivered straight to your inbox each and every Tuesday morning from me. If you haven't signed up to make sure that you get it each week, just go to jamiecarnlima.com to make sure you're on the list and you'll get your one on one with Jamie weekly newsletter and get ready to believe in you if you're tired of hearing the bad news every single day and need some inspiration, some tips, tools, joy and love hitting your inbox. I'm your girl. Subscribe@jamiekernlima.com or in the link in the show Notes do you struggle with negative self talk? Living with a constant mental narrative that you're not good enough is exhausting. I know because I spent most of my life in that habit. The words you say to yourself about yourself are so powerful and when you learn to take control over your self talk, it's life changing and I wanted to give you a free resource that I created for you if this is something that you could benefit your Life. It's called 5 Ways to Overcome Negative Self Talk and Build Self Love and it's a free how to guide to overcome that negative self talk to build confidence and develop unshakable self love so that you can dream big and keep going in the pursuit of your goals. Don't let self sabotaging thoughts hinder your progress any longer. It's time to rewrite the script of your life, one filled with self love, resilience and unwavering belief. If you're ready to take charge of your narrative, build unwavering confidence and empower yourself to persevere on the path to your dreams. You can grab your free guide to stop overthinking and learn to Trust yourself at jamiekernlima.com resources or click the link in the show notes below. And now more of this incredible conversation together.
Gary Vaynerchuk
People act like karma is some sort of weird lucky thing. Karma is the definition of karma to me at least is you were doing awesome things for lots of people all the time. Of course that leads to good things for you. The world loves you. I'll give you one. This should be interesting for your audience amongst the 500 people that look like us personalities. Big Plap, right? You know I know you know this, that some of them are not talked about as nicely behind their backs, that people really work with them or interact with them. I know I can put my head on my pillow so easily that the things that are said behind my back with the people that are actually in my inner circles are better than people think I am. Because you get extra credit for actually being authentic. We're so used to being disappointed by the people with their public facades to who they really are. I actually get extra credit for just being what I am.
Jamie Kern Lima
I want to just call out something you said, please. I think it's just so relevant to everybody that when you show up online, which is whether people like it or not, becoming such an increased part of their lives and community.
Gary Vaynerchuk
Yes.
Jamie Kern Lima
And people are feeling more lonely than ever in so many cases. But when you talk about how your connection with everyone online, when you are sort of like, it's not about you, like, it's about them. So then when something comes at you that's like, oh, Gary Vee, I love you, or, oh, you're the best in the world. You're not. You're not taking that and you're not in need of that.
Gary Vaynerchuk
Correct.
Jamie Kern Lima
And then when the opposite comes, like, oh, all the haters, you don't hear that either.
Gary Vaynerchuk
Correct.
Jamie Kern Lima
You're there for the purpose. For the purpose. You're there for the person who, like, has no idea that you're seeing them with love and this and that and all the things that. When you saw Derek and Gavin when you walked in, and then you get goosebumps because you're thinking how much you love strangers.
Gary Vaynerchuk
I love Derek and Gavin already. No, really. I mean, this about, you know, they're lovable. But honestly, this is an interesting point. You know, when people are like, you have to earn my trust. I'm like, oh, man, that person's hurting. If you're sitting and listening right now in your car, on the treadmill, walking a dock, just like kind of like living, you're listening. If you're someone who says they need to earn my trust, I ask you to do the mental work to get out of that mindset. It means you're scared. It means you're emotionally weak. Means you're scared someone can hurt you. The reason I'm like that with Gavin and Derek and everybody, Jame, is cause they can't hurt me. You know, people love dogs, like, unconditionally, but don't do that with humans. And their answer is, yeah, because the dog loves you unconditionally. No, it's because the dog doesn't talk.
Jamie Kern Lima
Mm.
Gary Vaynerchuk
People, you know, it's just an incredibly. Ugh. Man, James, this stuff is, like, so fun to talk about. I'm so in the zone with you right now. Like, I'm getting so intoxicated knowing, like, what's happening on the other side of this podcast. Like, I'm just wondering, like, what people are thinking, what they're jotting down. This goes back to the point of the whole thing. Like, I built a big business for my father long before anyone knew who I was.
Jamie Kern Lima
Yeah.
Gary Vaynerchuk
I don't need anybody to make money. I don't need an audience for money. I'm a businessman. I also felt unconditional love and knew that money had nothing to do with happiness. Cause I grew up in the most loving house of all time with no money. I don't need anything for anyone, Jane. I don't need anything. Do you know what that means to a human? Means you're left with only giving. I don't know what to say. Like, I don't need anything.
Jamie Kern Lima
When you say Derek and Gavin can't hurt you.
Gary Vaynerchuk
Yeah.
Jamie Kern Lima
Explain what you mean by that. For everyone at home who fears people can hurt them.
Gary Vaynerchuk
Yeah. Like, I'm not looking for anything from Derek and Gavin. Most people want something from someone. Right? Have you ever noticed? I'm sure this has happened to you. Do you know how many nice things I've been offered that are just manipulation for something they want from me?
Jamie Kern Lima
Yeah.
Gary Vaynerchuk
My favorite one always back in the day was Gary Vee. I'll pick you up at the airport and drive you to your hotel. I'm like, no, shit. You're gonna pitch me your business or ask me for advice. Like, I just wanna go in the back of a cab and just, like, you know, decompress and call my kids. You know what I mean? But they were like, look, this nice thing, I'm gonna pick you up at the airport and take you to your hotel before your speech. That wasn't you doing a nice act.
Jamie Kern Lima
Yeah.
Gary Vaynerchuk
And I'm not even sure those people knew that that's what they were doing. Which is why I don't judge them. A lot of what humans do is subconscious. Again, I don't default into thinking people are bad. The reason I said gavin there can't hurt me is when people encounter someone new, they are looking for something. They are?
Jamie Kern Lima
Yeah.
Gary Vaynerchuk
You know, love, validation, resources. You know, in families, there's oftentimes the one who does the emotional help for everyone and the one that does the financial Help. And a lot of times, they're not the same person. For me, I've always been the same. I've been both for my family my whole life and anybody around me. Those are two of the things in life, right? You need resources to kind of, like, put a roof over your head. And then, like, obviously, people have things they want, which they don't even need. You don't need anything. What do you really need? Like, it's so funny. Like, what do you need? Like, I don't know. I wish everyone. I literally wish what I'm about to say. Wish everyone grew up in a poor household with unconditional love. They would be able to navigate love so easily. Life. Excuse me. Yeah. So what do I mean? I mean that, like, it's easy for me to like them and to give to them. I don't want anything from them.
Jamie Kern Lima
I don't know what else to tell you right now. In your life. How do you. And this is. I think. I think this is relevant to everybody. But how do you distinguish between especially new people coming in your life? A lot of people as adults, even young adults, right? They are in the same rooms in high school, and then if they go on to college, and they're in the same rooms with people, and then all of a sudden, this whole sort of, like, new life happens, and a lot of people feel like they don't have friends anymore as an adult, people go in different directions. A lot of people want to make friends as an adult, whether they're in their 20s or their 80s. And so for you, to your point, because a lot of people do want something or you feel like, oh, I need to. You know, a lot of people won't even call their friends when they're hurting because they're like, oh, I don't want to burden them. I'm just going to call them when I have good news to share. How do you distinguish between real friends and deal friends?
Gary Vaynerchuk
By not thinking about it. I don't care if someone wants to be a deal friend. If I decide I want to be their friend and they want to be a deal friend to me, they want something from me, that's okay. I have the power to say no when they finally ask.
Jamie Kern Lima
Mm.
Gary Vaynerchuk
This goes back to Derek and Gavin. Like, if somebody befriends me and I decide to be their friend, it's not. I'm not delusional. I'm aware that there may be a time and 5, 7, 9 months or 5, 7, 10 years where the ask will come in. Right. I'm allowed to say no. And I'm normally going to say yes because I don't care.
Jamie Kern Lima
Doesn't bother you? Transactionality doesn't bother you?
Gary Vaynerchuk
It doesn't bother me because I'm in control. You know, this is the biggest punchline. Once you realize you're 100% in control. 100. It's game on, Jame. I'm in control. If Ricky becomes my friend and, like, completely manipulated. It, like, started to like the jets because of it, randomly showed up next to our tailgate at the Jet games so he could sneak in. Like, just has, like, just got there. Right. And all of it was to one day ask for Gary Vee to fund his business idea. Six years later, 40 dinners later, 20 tailgates together, six road trips to a Jets game together. Cause really, the jets and the Knicks is, like, the way to sneak into me because I'm always ready for another fan to be part of our crew. And let's say, like, first of all, my brain wouldn't even first of all, six years later, my brain wouldn't even be in the place of, like, ah. Cause no cynicism.
Jamie Kern Lima
And you don't dwell.
Gary Vaynerchuk
I don't dwell. And, like, he can't hurt me in that story because I can live without Ricky's friendship.
Jamie Kern Lima
Mm. Mm.
Gary Vaynerchuk
And I don't even blame Ricky. And by the way, what happens if Ricky actually became infatuated with our friendship along the way?
Jamie Kern Lima
Mm.
Gary Vaynerchuk
How about that? How about if the intent in the beginning wasn't pure? But how about the process of the time together created purity. There are people who are married where one of the partners intent wasn't super pure. Maybe financial, maybe it was just attraction and nothing else. But through life's journeys, they actually did fall in love. I truly believe some couples fell in love. Eight years later happens. Right. So, you know, I don't know. I just don't judge because I'm in control.
Jamie Kern Lima
Yeah.
Gary Vaynerchuk
By the way, sometimes I fulfill a bad intent because I don't care.
Jamie Kern Lima
Yeah.
Gary Vaynerchuk
I'm in control.
Jamie Kern Lima
Yeah. You're a master at capacity management. You really are. I'm just watching this, and I'm thinking about all the things that for so many of us, take our energy and our time and our emotional state and at the expense of things we could be doing or love we could be giving or impact we could be making or freedom we could be feeling.
Gary Vaynerchuk
I think that's right.
Jamie Kern Lima
Yeah.
Gary Vaynerchuk
I'm so uncomfortably light.
Jamie Kern Lima
Yeah.
Gary Vaynerchuk
In a life that is wildly complex.
Jamie Kern Lima
Yeah. Yeah. And I feel that. And that's really cool. This is the first time you and I are together in person.
Gary Vaynerchuk
Yes.
Jamie Kern Lima
First time we're in person. So I'm getting to see the goosebumps at the arms. I'm getting to see the tears well in your eyes. I'm getting to see, like, to feel the light energy, you know, it's so light.
Gary Vaynerchuk
And honestly, you know what? That. And it's funny. It compounds. And. And as I've gotten older and understood how rare this is, you can't help but lean into gratitude. Cause I know so much of it wasn't just me. Circumstance, DNA, parenting environment. So it's almost like now the momentum's building. Jame. Cause now I can't help but be so grateful now that I've been in, you know, again, when you're growing up the way I'm growing up, kind of lower middle class. Middle class. You know, I thought if you owned a Mercedes, even a used Mercedes, you were the richest person on earth. Now that I've lived the last 10 years of my life being in the most rarefied air with the most successful people, either emotionally or financially or, like, and I realized, like, oh, wait a minute. I'm not trading with anyone.
Jamie Kern Lima
Yeah.
Gary Vaynerchuk
I've not met anyone that I'm trading with because they could have so much more than I have materialistically. But I'm struggling to find the person that's lighter. I think the people that are lighter than me are living very simplistic lives. Right. But I don't want that either. I'm too hungry. I like the game too much. So, like, in the cross of, like, you're Zen, you're light, you're stoic, you're Buddha, you're chill. You're fortunate emotionally, and you're a hungry gangster that wants to build and be a workaholic and do all that stuff. I'm struggling to find my comp. And I've met them all. And so, man, it makes me very uncomf. In fact, it makes me a little guilty. I believe why I'm me publicly is a mix of gratitude and guilt. Listen, not everything I'm aware. Like, I can't help it. There's a part of me that's unbelievably grateful, and there's a tiny piece of me that feels guilty. Like, why me? Why? I wish everyone had my mom in New Jersey and Russian immigrants and nothing. And, you know, very hard to be hungry. Jane, when you're fed, do you feel.
Jamie Kern Lima
A tiny bit of guilt? I should say, do you remedy the guilt by Giving back. And by being bigger than yourself, of course. Yeah.
Gary Vaynerchuk
I leave so much on the table financially every day of my life.
Jamie Kern Lima
Yeah.
Gary Vaynerchuk
Yeah. I think that drives me. Yes. And honestly, I'm honestly trying to be careful that I don't get resentment or regret for that either. You know, I have real talks with myself. I'm like, hey, mister, you know, you know, giver, superhero, enabler. At worst, I have to be very careful about that. Hey, you also are gonna be 93, and are you gonna wake up and say, hey, wait a minute, there's a couple more things I wanted for me? Like, hey, you're allowed. You know, these are talks. I'm being very vulnerable right now. Hey, you're allowed to be selfish a little bit. That's a human thing too. Like, don't blame any. Hey, jerk. Don't blame anybody at 93, when you didn't accomplish or get whatever the heck you're gonna want at that point because you chose to leave a lot on the table and give, give, give. Like, that was you. That wasn't your sister. That wasn't your brother. That wasn't your spouse. Like, that's you. You know, that wasn't the world. That's you. So I don't have a critic, but, man, do I have an accountable coach.
Jamie Kern Lima
Mm. Mm. So congratulations to your newlywed. Yes, your newlywed. Congratulations. When you say you feel light, do you. Is that also inspired or encouraged or celebrated or rubbed off on even more by your wife Mona?
Gary Vaynerchuk
Of course. I mean, what is greater than love?
Jamie Kern Lima
Yeah.
Gary Vaynerchuk
Like what? Of course. But again, even with the love of my life, there is no other human that creates my light. You know, of course, there's so much that you need from the one you love the most. Right. But not lightness. You know, I do think that's a personal game when you're actually. In fact, I would argue that everybody out there that is in need of their partner to create their lightness, you need to be careful. Right. Because when you need someone else that is not your therapist to bring you more lightness, you are burdening them with your heaviness. So I would never put that on her.
Jamie Kern Lima
Mm.
Gary Vaynerchuk
Not lightness. Love, though. Fuck. Like, you know, makes the world go round. You know, it's really tough right now. I feel like we're in an era in our world, you know, social in 2000, a history lesson since I was there. Social in 2006, 7, 8, 9 was nirvana. It was light. If you go Read tweets In 2006, 7, 8, 90% of it was optimism. It was the early pioneers. It was the people that wanted to change the world. Now we've got the masses on it all of a sudden. It's heavy. Something that I want people to learn from. What does that mean? It means that people that are looking forward bring light. People that are looking backwards bring dark.
Jamie Kern Lima
Wow.
Gary Vaynerchuk
I'm telling you, Jim, like, I feel, like, very empowered right now. I'm hoping, you know, one of the things I do well as a communicator is I poke at the zit. I know that there's some people listening right now that are, like, they have this weird feeling in their stomach. They're, like, inspired, but a little, like, squirmy because we're poking at them. I'm poking at someone who's dumping all their crap on their husband or wife two minutes ago. I'm poking on someone who spends their life looking at the rear view mirror. Like, if you're constantly thinking about your heyday in high school, that's not gonna be good. When you were prettier, when you were skinnier, when you were stronger, when you were more popular, when you had more money, when you were, like, even something that's, like, worthwhile to look back on, when your parents were still alive and you had that love, even that which is worthwhile versus, like, the vanity of a six pack or being the prom king or queen. Even something like that is not doing you anything good. Taking the energy of that incredible relationship with your parents and imposing it on your children, that's good. But being like, woe is me. I wish. I wish, man, I'm telling you, I should have or I wish do not like that. I do not like that. I do not like that, because I know what it's doing.
Jamie Kern Lima
I think so many people are scared to put themselves out there. They're scared to be who they fully are authentically. They're scared to be made fun of. They're scared of the sometimes 25 or 100 negative comments they got or their science. I mean, just all of it. I think so many people talk about cancel culture, but I feel like the most prevalent form of cancel culture is cancel yourself. We don't talk about, yeah, soon you cancel yourself before you even try. And, you know, I have always felt like, you know, and you're in the same situation where I feel very grateful to authentically, in every ounce of my being, want to pour into other people and want to, like. I get so happy, Gary, when my friends win, when people I don't even know win, when Other women win. Like, I just. In every. Every ounce of my being, we're blessed. Oh, yeah. And I. We're blessed. And. But also, like, I remember even on the come up, even when I didn't have. When. When it was like rejection after rejection or setback after setback or I didn't know what was going to happen to the business that I was building, I also knew deep inside of me that someone else's success. Because I believe. I mean, for me, you know, I'm like a. I. My faith is so strong. I believe that God's calling for my life, and it does not matter what anyone else has got going on. Someone else has a big win that has. Or it has nothing to do with what I'm.
Gary Vaynerchuk
And you know what people are saying right now? Oh, easy for you guys. You made it. And I say we made it because of that feeling. It's the reverse of what people think, Jaime.
Jamie Kern Lima
Yeah, yeah. Goosebumps.
Gary Vaynerchuk
I hear it all the time, Gary. But you're this way now. I'm like, you didn't know me at 17. Go talk to those 50 people. They'll tell you. I actually was more of this then.
Jamie Kern Lima
Yeah.
Gary Vaynerchuk
In fact, this will make sense to you. It was easier to be that because there was no other collateral damage of success then. In fact, the thing I'm most proud of is I'm pretty close to what I was then. And most of the people like me and you, when we get here, become less than because the world makes them more cynical.
Jamie Kern Lima
Yes. Yes.
Gary Vaynerchuk
We're not like this now because we made it. We made it because we were like this.
Jamie Kern Lima
Mm. Mm. All right, I. I want to ask.
Gary Vaynerchuk
It's the realest thing that was like. You know how real that was, right? It's so. It's like so uncomfortably right.
Jamie Kern Lima
It's so real.
Gary Vaynerchuk
And the second. Everyone who's listening can shed the pain or the anger.
Jamie Kern Lima
Yes.
Gary Vaynerchuk
It's like a race, James. This is actually really funny to talk about heavy and light. Life is a race. And if you're emotionally light and you love everything and you just let it go, you're fucking faster.
Jamie Kern Lima
Yeah. So good.
Gary Vaynerchuk
Of course I'm first on. Let me give you one about not being your true self. At the height of. In this last decade of my popularity, when I was crushing it in 1819, like, I'm that guy, right? In the height of that, I decided to make garage sale videos. In the height of my mogulness, I start making videos of me going to garage sales and every VC and private equity and billionaire friend I have, and real friends texted me and said, what are you doing? You're making yourself so low. And I said, that's because you're confused of high and low. I started doing it because I read my DMs. You said, back to community. And I was seeing in the highlights of me investing in Facebook and this and that. And I would tell the story how I invested 25,000 into Twitter. Right. Or it was actually 44,000. Whatever it was, people would DM me and be like, gary, great for you, but I have $13 in my wells Fargo. And I got enough of those that I said, well, wait a minute, let me make content around when I had $13 in Wells Fargo. Let me show the world how easy it is if you're crying about money and you can't and there's separation of wealth and the system's against you. Let me show you visually of what happens when on a Saturday morning you go to 40 garage sales, spend $113 on the items, $60 in gas, come home and sell it all on ebay and make $1,000 and rinse and repeat. Years later, I have unlimited DMs from people that have gone from $13 to $100,000 flipping stuff on ebay. Yes, it might have made me seem lesser than to the elite jerk offs, but I wanted to be my full self and I wanted to make that content. And I wasn't scared that it was going to diminish me as a mogul because I was rummaging through trash.
Jamie Kern Lima
And it's such a powerful example of what you said earlier, which is all these other people are saying, oh, Gary, oh, you're this now. And they're thinking about you. You're in your DMs thinking about that person.
Gary Vaynerchuk
Correct?
Jamie Kern Lima
Yeah.
Gary Vaynerchuk
In fact, I feel that often when I can feel I'm elevating, I try to do things to not let everyone think I'm elevating. Meaning I don't even want it. I just want to be in service of it again. Cause I'm gonna get mine. How about this? This is funny. VaynerMedia, my company. Do you know that almost 99% of the audience has no idea that I'm the actual active CEO of a 2000 plus global agency? Like, they don't even. Like when people come to VaynerMedia that are more in creator land, or if you came into this podcast at vayner, like a lot of people do, almost every one of them's like, what is this? I'M like, this is the company. They're like, what do you. Most people just think I'm a personality. The amount of people in comments that are like, what does he even do? I'm like, I run a $360 million a year revenue agency that has completely taken Madison Avenue by storm. While I also help my dad build his wine business. This winetex.com thing I just did while I'm building the next Pokemon in Marvel and Disney called Veefriends, while I'm building my personal brand, while I'm running one of the most successful emerging sports agencies. Really, my brother's running that, but I'm helping and my pickleball team and vaynerwant, my TV production company that Eric Wattenberg's mainly running. And, and, and, and, and I am one of the most active operational executives in the world and almost the entire universe that knows who I am. Think I'm a motivational speaker, content creator. I figured out in 2014 that if I documented my entire life, I could create the level of content that was required to be a very known creator. But it's all the sawdust of what I do day to day.
Jamie Kern Lima
Do you ever get tired of putting out content?
Gary Vaynerchuk
No.
Jamie Kern Lima
Never?
Gary Vaynerchuk
No. Because it's not for me. Again, why would I be tired when I know every single piece of content at least helps one person? And by the way, I want to be again, I do not want to leave this podcast like I'm some weird angel and builds awareness about me, which could lead to a path like of them hiring my agency, buying my dad's wine, starting to collect my trading cards from beefriends. Like, you know, like, what's bad? Because I don't need it to be working. J Mal, let's go to even more authentic place. I'm not in my prime right this second. Like in this nanosecond as I film this with you. I don't think like in the lexicon of personal brands, like, I'm like ripping hot. I'm solid. But I've taken the last 18 months to really be head down on VaynerMedia and on Veefriends, which has taken some of the energy out of me doing my daily vlog, the podcast. Like, you know what I mean? I'm not in my height right this second. I don't need to be. Got it. A lot of people lose. Cause they get to like the top 10 of podcasts. I used to have a top 10 podcast. Now I don't. A lot of people have done better I've watched Mel. Mel and I have been coming up the game together, like, and we've had different moments. Sometimes I'm hotter, sometimes she's hotter. She's hotter right now. And I'm pumped for fucking Mel. This goes back to the whole talk, right? Like, in this second, I'm solid. I'm a guy. But, like. But by the way, me doing this podcast is the beginning of next year, 2026. I'm really gonna be hot because I've decided that I wanna do tea with Gary Vee every morning. That I wanna do winding down with Gary Vee. That I'm gonna go very heavy, twitch and kick, which is gonna build a lot of 15 to 25 audience. Like, I just know that I'm gonna do a lot more podcasts. I. I gained fans off of this today. There are many women listening right now who've never heard of me or heard one thing. Like, I don't like that guy. Who are now listening be like, whoa, I really like that guy. Because once they get past the, you know, Jersey Boy, the stuff underneath is the realest, best shit on earth.
Jamie Kern Lima
You see, you're very private about your personal life. We were talking about this before coming on, and you're super, super private. We now know that you want more kids. And first, on the Jamie Karen Lima Show, Mona was gonna be here. You called her the love of your life.
Gary Vaynerchuk
Yes.
Jamie Kern Lima
Tell us how she's the love of your life.
Gary Vaynerchuk
You know, it's almost like it's the great mystery of, like, you know, when you just. It's in your stomach. Yes, that's it. I think everybody just understood. Like, there's like. Like, there's so many people I love. There's so many people I've met that I, you know, but, like, we're just a fucking match, man. You know, like a puzzle. Like, it's just. It's just a level of, like, joy and partnership and humor. Like, you know, I think people just like everything. Just, like, every ounce of it. Like, everything. You know, like, everything, all of it. The good, the bad, the left, the right. It's a level of calm I struggle to find the words to say. The peace of joy and the stillness. Basically, everything else I have in my life, professionally public, everything we've been talking about, to have that in your love of your life, to have that same energy of just, like, ease and, like, it's right. Even with. I mean, I don't have to tell you or anybody who's listening. There is no relationship on earth that doesn't have its, like, lefts and rights and bumps and da, da, da. But even when you're in that, you know, it's epic. Even in the height of, like, maybe not alignment, you know, like, you'd rip your arms off to stay in it, you know? You know, like, actually, that's not even the right words for it. Even in the most misalignment, you're enjoying it. Cause you're doing it with that person. And, you know, it's good. And it's like incredibly micro, temporary. Like, whatever is not perfect. That's it.
Jamie Kern Lima
Yeah. Congratulations.
Gary Vaynerchuk
Thank you.
Jamie Kern Lima
Yeah. All right. I want to talk about AI social media. Are any of us going to have a job in a few years?
Gary Vaynerchuk
When the tractor came out, everybody worked on a farm and everybody said everybody was in big trouble. That's the answer to the whole thing. It's unbelievable how easy that question is for me and how quickly I can answer it. It's going to be faster than tractor. There will be moments in the next decade of, like, the job thing being a little bit uncomfortable, but I anticipate governments and society to pick up the slack. I actually believe that. And so the answer to the question is, every single form of technology ravaged big ones. The car, the train, the airplane, the tractor, the typewriter, electricity. Every massive form of new technology has created significant shifts. This could be the biggest one. It could be. It's that big. I don't want to understate how big AI is, Jane. People are going to find other jobs because new jobs will be invented. Let me give you a big one.
Jamie Kern Lima
This conversation with Gary Vee is so incredible. We made it into more than one part. And if you've ever felt uncertain about the future with AI social media and the rapid pace of digital growth, if you've wondered, will I even have a job in a few years? Will AI replace all of us? Does college still matter? What should I tell my partner, my friends, my kids or grandkids to do so that they have a bright future? If you have these questions, you are not going to want to miss this incredible conversation with Gary Vaynerchuk. Coming up in the next episode of the Jamie Kern Lima Show. Remember, this episode's not just for you and me. Please share it with every single person that you know, because it can truly impact and change their life, too. And if you love today's episode, please click on the follow or subscribe button for the show on the app you're listening to it on or watching it on. And if it added value to your life. If you could please give it a rating or review five stars. It would be amazing. I would be so grateful. And then Share it. Share the episode with everyone you believe in. Maybe share it with another person whose life you know could benefit from it. Share it with someone you know who's maybe making a change in their career or fearful of what's happening with AI and all the technology around us and what exactly they should do. Share it with others online or in your community who just might need the words and tools and lessons in this episode today. You never know whose life you're meant to change today by sharing this episode. And thank you so much for joining me today. Before you go, I want to share some words with you that couldn't be more true. You right now, exactly as you are, are enough and fully worthy. You're worthy of your greatest hopes, of your wildest dreams, and of all the unconditional love in the world. And it's an honor to welcome you to each and every episode of the Jamie Kern Lima show here. I hope you'll come as you are and heal where you need, blossom what you choose, journey toward your calling and stay as long as you'd like. Because you belong here. You are worthy, you are loved, you are love and I love you and I cannot wait to join you on the next episode of the Jamie Kern Lima Show. In life you don't soar to the level of your hopes and dreams. You stay stuck at the level of your self worth. When you build your self worth, you change your entire life. And that's exactly why I wrote my new book Worthy how to believe you are enough and transform your life for you. If you have some self doubt to destroy and a destiny to fulfill, worthy is for you. In Worthy you'll learn proven tools and simple steps that bring life changing results like how to get unstuck from the things holding you back, build unshakable self love, unlearn the lies that lead to self doubt and embrace the truths that wake up worthiness, overcome limiting beliefs and imposter syndrome, Achieve your hopes and dreams by believing you are worthy of them and so much more. Are you ready to unleash your greatness and step into the person you were born to be? Imagine a life with zero self doubt and unshakable self worth. Get your copy of Worthy plus some amazing thank you bonus gifts for you@worthybook.com or the link in the show notes below. Imagine what you do if you fully believed in you. It's time to find out. With Worthy who you spend time around is so important as energy is contagious and so is self belief. And I'd love to hang out with you even more, especially if you could use an extra dose of inspiration. Which is exactly why I've created my free weekly newsletter that's also a love letter to you delivered straight to your inbox from me. If you haven't signed up to make sure that you get it each week, just go to jamiecarnlima.com to make sure you're on the list and you'll get your one on one with Jamie weekly newsletter and get ready to believe in you. If you're tired of hearing the bad news every single day and need some inspiration, some tips, tools, joy and love hitting your inbox. I'm your girl. Subscribe@jamiekernlima.com or in the link in the show notes. And please note, I'm not a licensed therapist and this podcast is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist or other qualified professional.
Episode: GaryVee Pt 2: Life-Changing Lessons on AI, Social Media & More! Gary Vaynerchuk
Date: August 26, 2025
Host: Jamie Kern Lima
Guest: Gary Vaynerchuk
This episode is Part 2 of Jamie Kern Lima’s in-depth interview with Gary Vaynerchuk (GaryVee), delving into mindset, overcoming self-doubt, authenticity, the impact of social media, navigating AI’s future, and personal philosophies for success and self-worth. Gary shares candid new perspectives, unique to this platform, on how to rise above negativity, find inner lightness, and approach an ever-evolving technological landscape. Listeners walk away with tactical strategies for resilience and self-belief.
[00:41, 06:58, 07:09]
[01:03, 10:44]
[13:34–16:45]
[18:17–20:04, 25:33]
[26:16–33:56]
[34:42–39:16]
[39:16–41:35]
[41:35–44:20]
[46:37–48:30]
[52:31–53:45]
“By not judging others, you don’t practice the concept of judgment which allows you to not judge yourself.”
— Gary Vaynerchuk [00:41, 07:09]
“Envy, jealousy, the incredible thirst to put other human beings on a pedestal.”
— Gary Vaynerchuk [09:04]
“I live my life for the day after I die… people show up for how much you impacted them.”
— Gary Vaynerchuk [10:44–11:40]
“If you want to become addicted to the cheering, you become susceptible to the booing.”
— Gary Vaynerchuk [16:45]
“This is one big game of selflessness.”
— Gary Vaynerchuk [18:24]
“If you’re someone who says they need to earn my trust, I ask you to do the mental work to get out of that mindset. It means you’re scared. It means you’re emotionally weak. Means you’re scared someone can hurt you.”
— Gary Vaynerchuk [26:16]
“I’m so uncomfortably light in a life that is wildly complex.”
— Gary Vaynerchuk [34:20]
“Even with the love of my life, there is no other human that creates my light.”
— Gary Vaynerchuk [38:17]
“The most prevalent form of cancel culture is cancel yourself. You cancel yourself before you even try.”
— Jamie Kern Lima [41:41]
“We’re not like this now because we made it. We made it because we were like this.”
— Gary Vaynerchuk [43:36]
“Every massive form of new technology has created significant shifts. This could be the biggest one.”
— Gary Vaynerchuk [52:41–53:45]
Gary’s tone is intense, passionate, vulnerable, and brutally honest, frequently peppered with humor and blunt language. Jamie dishes warm encouragement, eager curiosity, and refreshing candor. The conversation is fast-paced yet deeply thoughtful; it oscillates between practical pearls of wisdom and big-picture philosophy on living fully and authentically.
This episode is a masterclass in emotional resilience, self-worth, and navigating disruption—both personal and technological. Gary Vaynerchuk offers rare, actionable wisdom for anyone struggling with self-judgment, negativity, or uncertainty about the future. His practical insights on leveraging compassion, accountability, and authenticity serve as a blueprint for thriving in the AI age without losing your humanity or your light.
For more tools and resources visit:
https://www.JamieKernLima.com/Show