← The Jamie Kern Lima Show
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
How to Break Through Fear, Trust Your Own Voice & Live Your Purpose! With Sherri Shepherd (Pt 2)
00:58:26
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- [00:00]
A
Get ready to break through fear and trust your own voice. I am so excited for this brand new second episode with my incredible guest, Sherry shepherd, where she is sharing things she's never shared before. And we're diving deep together. And I know this episode is gonna leave you so inspired.
- [00:21]
B
I had a full panic attack the day before we started my show. Completely full panic blown. Because to develop a talk show, one to two years. Who are you? What are you saying? Barbara Walters made me cry for three years straight. But what I learned, she taught me how to find my voice. At this point in my life, I feel the worst thing you could do is not be your authentic self.
- [00:51]
A
I was just sitting there watching somebody.
- [00:54]
B
Yeah.
- [00:54]
A
Who is genius, like in her greatness. And thinking about every person at home right now who's getting blessed by that laughter, by that joy. Because a lot of us don't have that in our lives anywhere else. Right. And we need that.
- [01:09]
B
It feels so good to be able to say no. This is what I feel. This is what I think. I'm not. You take what you get and run with it. If you don't agree with me, it's okay. My assignment is a big assignment. Oprah has told me that. Tyler Perry has told me that. Robin Roberts has told me that. It's a big responsibility having a talk show.
- [01:32]
A
This is like a masterclass recipe in how do you live in alignment with your assignment that someone right now can apply this no matter what they're doing in their life. Do you ever hear God talk to you?
- [01:43]
B
I know this is a divine assignment because too many people hug me, crying, and I'm not saying that as an ego thing. They hug me and they break down in tears. That's not me. That's something God is doing.
- [01:56]
A
It's that good. It's next level. It's so good.
- [02:02]
B
Jamie Kern Lima is her name. Everybody needs Jamie Kern Lima in their life. Jamie Kern Lima. Jamie, you're so inspiring. Jamie Kern Lima.
- [02:17]
A
Get ready to break through fear and trust your own voice. I am so excited for this brand new second episode with my incredible guest, Sherry shepherd, where she is sharing things she's never shared before. And we're diving deep together. And I know this episode is going to leave you so inspired. Today, Sher shepherd is the Emmy award winning host of the hit television talk show Sherry, now in its third season and funnier than ever. She's also an actress, comedian, author, and mom who day by day and year by year is shining brighter and brighter. So, so much so that I am excited to share right here that Sheri is going to be getting a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame this year. I am so excited to welcome Sheri shepherd back to the Jamie Kern Lima show. Most women are raised people pleasers. Everyone's afraid to say what they think. And then, you know, Joy Behar shared with you, if you just open your mouth, you're going to make half the people hate you. But life's too short to keep our mouth. Like, to live with a closed mouth our whole life.
- [03:26]
B
Yeah.
- [03:27]
A
And I just, I want to call this out because to give everyone a little background maybe, who may not know, you know, when Sheri got a big seat on the View. And somebody listening may not be on the View, but their platform is, you know, the moms at school or the community or the people they work with or whatever. And people are walking around so scared to be who they are or to say how they feel. And so you just were thrown into this, what became a seven year crash course in this. But you, I know you've talked about crying for three years straight on the View. Can you just share, Sheri, like, because this is for everyone listening. How do we. How did you get to that point of saying, okay, I'm gonna open my mouth and half the people aren't gonna like me, so why not just speak my truth anyway? Because whatever you say, half the going to like. And how did you alleviate or, or maybe you haven't yet, I don't know. But the pressure that we all tend to feel about, like, if I say this, this group of people's gonna be mad if I say this, that group of people is going to be mad, you know, on and on and on. And before you know it, we're silent and not living our life.
- [04:39]
B
Yeah. I feel at this point in my life, I feel the worst thing you could do is not be your authentic self. And no matter who you offend, no matter, you know, it's not, you know, it's not like you're trying to go out and offend anybody, but not at the expense of who you are. Now, I think that we still have to operate in love. Like, I'm a big in love person. Because if you operate in love, it'll. It'll inform the way you do things. I don't go to offend you, but if it does, and I know I'm operating in love, then that's. I'm not taking that on. So I forgot, for me, Jamie, it has been. I didn't come all. I didn't come up that way, and I'm all of a sudden speaking my mind. It was a lot of failures. It was a lot of humiliations. When I got on the View, it was everything that I hated to do, I had to do every day on the View. I was a very fearful person. I didn't talk. People think I'm on this talk show, and I just talking. I was not like that. I was very fearful. I was very shy. I did not express my opinion. I learned it. I said it. But I was not this Sherry. So to be in interrupting people. If I didn't interrupt people on the View, I didn't get hurt. So I never was allowed to interrupt people when they were talking. When I was younger, I grew up in a very, very strict religious family. I was not allowed to look adults in the eye when I talked. I had to force myself to look you in the eye when I talk because I was talk. I was taught to look at the ground when I talk. I was taught to respect adults. And no matter what adults said, it went to the detriment of who I am. And being a young child, not being protected with certain adults. But I was not allowed to say anything. So it was. It was literally the View. A lot of people say, oh, they talk bad about the View. For me, it was one of the best experiences of my life. I did cry for three years. Barbara Walters made me cry for three years straight. But what I learned, she taught me how to find my voice. That's what Barbara Walters did for me. I found my voice on that show. And what I joke about is I say, oh, now my voice is deep. Because Barbara told me, when your voice is deeper, it projects confidence. So that I joke about. But that woman there, she was hard on me. And she was like, read a book. Know why you're saying what you're saying. Be able to defend what you're saying. And it's okay if you fall. It's okay if you make a mistake. And that's what I learned. I learned that I had John Murray, who's my producing partner. He would help me on the View. Like, I'm not sure how I can go up against these ladies and say what I want to say. And he would always say, what do you think? How? What do you believe? And, Sherry, don't be afraid to say it. And he would say, you can't carry the weight of everybody on your shoulders. You can't carry the weight of. Of black people. You can't carry the weight of all the Christians. Because I would censor myself. Because I would go, they're not going to like it if I say this. They're not going to like it if I. If I say that. So I can't. And he was like, you can't. It's too much. And once I realized, you know what? It is too much. I'm stressing. I'm gaining weight. I'm eating so much because I'm stuffing all these feelings inside. It feels so good to be able to say no. This is what I feel. This is what I think. I'm not. You take what you get and run with it. If you don't agree with me, it's okay. I have my own relationship with God now. Mm. I have. I just me. So when people write me and they go, I don't believe you say that. And you say this on your show, you know, I go, I'm okay. I talk to God all the time. And I have people that I trust in my life who will tell me if I'm going too far or maybe I shouldn't go here. But I trust them. So it's been a lot of ups and downs. And now I'm at this place where I'm okay with saying no. I don't feel bad about saying no, I'm not going. No, I'm sorry. I'm going. No, I can't do it. I'm okay with. Oprah said something to me when I started this show, and I said, I have to go visit affiliates because they're the ones who carry my show. But they were sending me on all of my days off, on all of, you know, weekends. And I said, oprah, I never see Jeffrey. And I'm missing his parent teacher conferences, and I'm stressing. And she says, sherry, you have to say no. You have to. She said, because you never want Jeffrey to be in the position where you're saying to him, I did all of this for you. All of this is yours. Because he doesn't want to hear that. He wants to know that his mom is around. And you teach people how to treat you. That's what you. And so now when I know I need to do it, I go, jeffrey, I'm running hard. I gotta do this. And then there's. Sometimes they'll ask me to do something, and I'll go, no, that. Mm. Mm. Nope.
- [09:55]
A
Mm.
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B
Not giving. Nope. Not giving up my day. Like, this is a day off for me. And normally I go, I need to. It's Jerry, Jeffrey's parent teacher. But you were coming out here. I Wanted to talk to you, and it was like, Jamie doesn't come out here much, and so she'll be out here in New York. So this is really the only day we can make it happen. Well, I want to do it so I'm not feeling bad that it's my day off. And I don't want you to feel bad. Oh, my God. Sherry took her day off. I wanted to do it. I made the choice to do it. I'm okay, but I'm okay with saying no. I say no to so many things.
- [10:27]
A
How do you make that? How do you make that decision? I remember. I remember when Oprah came on my show and I asked her, I said, why are you here? Why did you say yes? And she said, I felt it was divinely ordered. And by the way. And she loves you. She said to give you an extra special hug. She loves you, as does everyone. But with you making a decision like that, I just. I find this fascinating because I've worked really hard, Sherry, to learn to say no and to learn to not be a people pleaser and to learn for me. I pray I get still and I try to hear the answer of what I'm supposed to do. And so even just you. Thank you, by the way. Thank you for being here on your day off to do. To have this conversation with me, with everybody. But for you making that decision, how did you make it? Do you just go with your gut? And do you pray about it? Like when you decide I'm saying no or I'm saying yes, you know?
- [11:17]
B
Yeah, for the most part, I do pray about it and go, is this something one of my prayers is? Lord, I give you everything. I give you my career, I give you my relationships. I give you my son. I give you everything that I desire. Give me back what you want me to have. Anything that's not for me. Shut that door so fast. Shut it. If it's for me, open it up and confirm it for me. But definitely give me back what you want me to have. So show me where I. Where I'm supposed to go. Order my. I'm. I'm big into that. Lord, if I'm going the wrong way, pull me back and let me. Let me get the correction. Pull me back, you know? So, yeah, so when I say yeah, it's not like every time I have to go, well, okay, am I supposed to do this? I just. At this place in my life, in this season of my life, I want. I think I'm a pretty boring person, but I have enough nuggets of life that I feel like I want to impart to people, younger women and men and women who are my age, who are fearful, who go, I don't know if I can start a business right now. I think people. I'm 57. I'm 55. I'm 60. And I think people have forgotten about me. Sherry. I don't think I'm pretty enough. And I don't think. And I feel like I can speak to that. So, you know, being a people pleaser, it's too hard. And it doesn't. Life is short. I don't have enough energy. I don't have enough stamina to please you. I got one I have to please. And he's the one that's taking care of my son. And you know, it's too much. If it's too stressful, I'm going. I have to. I have to put that on the side. And if you're part of my stress and you're in a toxic place and you're negative, you're not gonna be calling me every night complaining, complaining, complaining. I have to put you over here because I know that I'm ordered to do something. My assignment is a big assignment. Oprah has told me that. Tyler Perry has told me that. Robin Roberts has told me that. It's a big responsibility having a talk show. And if I'm over here arguing with this dude. Cause I think he cheating and you over here, and. And then I gotta come out there and go, hey, family and Deliver joy. It's not gonna happen. So some people say, oh, you know, this happened at this age. And I. One of the reasons I know is because earlier in my life, I was all over the place. I'm over here, heartbroken over here. This one in prison, I'm talking to this one, you know, arguing with the husband. One time I was on the View Girl when I was going through my divorce with Jeffrey's dad. And when I tell you I thought everybod I was on the phone, that's a Sherry. You never want to see who's from Chicago who could fight you. I cussed my husband out so bad. When I tell you every curse word in the book, there would be nobody that would be going to church with me. I cussed him out, and I was screaming at the top of my lungs. And he said to me, he said, and that's why you. You're not a good mother. And I like, that's my trigger. And I was like, every curse word before I got to a regular Word came out of my mouth, and all of a sudden, Barbara Walters comes in there. She goes, are you okay, dear? And I said, oh, my gosh. And I was like, yeah, Barbara. And I said, I'm fine. Everything is good. I was mortified. And she walked out, and I went right back to cussing him out.
- [14:52]
A
Yeah.
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B
So all of that, like, I bet.
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A
You she walked away proud.
- [14:57]
B
Probably she found her voice, knowing Barbara. Probably. I'm telling you. And. And it just. It was hard, though. It's hard to do that. And you have to go on a talk show. Yes. And deliver and deliver joy. And just, you know, and I want to be completely open. So I go, I can't take on. I can't take on the world. I know. I know who's supposed to be in my life, who I allow into my life, into my energy space, and I'm very firm about that. And I think it's probably just. It's from years of learning and growing and saying, wow, I love this person. 20 years ago, we probably wouldn't have been friends. The person that I have in my papers, my estate papers, to help with Jeffrey, if something, God forbid, ever happens to me or his dad, is one of my best friends in the world. Tom Borden and his partner. Well, no, it's his husband, Jimmy, and they've been married 21 or 22 years. And I asked him, I said, I love you guys so much, and you love Jeffrey. If something happens. This is when Jeffrey was little, would you take him, please? Because I know your hearts, I know your love for God, and I know your love for your family and each other and your two kids, and I don't care. I don't care what anybody thinks. But you will take care of my son. Because when I was going through my divorce, they took me in and I slept for three days while they just took care of Jeffrey, taught him how to make pancakes, took them all over. He was with the grandparents, and they loved on him so much. And I said, well, you be his guardians.
- [16:52]
A
How have you on your journey? You know, you were raised Jehovah's Witness and now Christian.
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B
Yes.
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A
And a lot of people are on this journey in their life of going, how do I not necessarily unlearn things, but how do I just take a step back and actually go, what is it? I believe and become my own. Become my own woman, become my own person for you on that journey, like, what role does this faith play in your life now? And how did that transition happen?
- [17:26]
B
When I tell you my faith is so Important to me. It is everything to me. I believe. My faith is why I have this show. My faith is why I think my talk show is not. Like I do anything different from other talk show hosts, with the exception of doing my monologue every day. Like, nobody in the talk show space, with the exception of Ellen, has done a monologue and can speak for that long. Ellen was good for that. That is what I do. So nobody else does that. But, I mean, it's really. There's a formula for talk shows. You have celebrity guests on. You have. If you want to come and promote your book, you know, we're. It's about celebrities. We have a chef on. We cook. You ha. You do giveaways. It's. It's, you know, you play games. But what I bring to it is different from anybody else. Every in. It's a lot of people that would do that formula, and it would not work because you've seen talk shows that don't work. There's something that God has given to me. It is an assignment that God has given to me that makes all of this come together where it's special. Trying to think. Like when they test me with focus groups and they test everybody, actors, anybody. What. What do people think of you? And I look at. We have a little dial, and people, you know, they turn their dial if they're not interested in what I'm saying or if they're interested, the dial goes up. If they're excited, they make comments. And that's agony to sit there and watch these focus groups. Yeah. How people feel about you.
- [19:01]
A
Yeah.
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B
And it always came back. We love Sherry because she goes to the edge, but she doesn't go over the edge. She makes it funny. You know, when she works with the experts who, you know, who show me how. Oh, and now we're going to do this, you know, cold plunge pool. And we love how Sheri interacts with people. We love the joy she has. That's God. That's him putting that extra zhuzh in over what I do. So my faith. This is why I don't get distracted. I know my show is. It is supposed to be about joy and laughter. When. Before I walk out that door, when they lift up the door and they say, welcome, Sherri Shepherd, John Murray and I, and our executive producer, Vanita Wynn. We're praying for the audience who. The live audience who's watching. And we're praying for the audience who's watching me at home. And our prayer is always, bless them to feel better than when they came and then when they leave those two, I pray by myself and I say, lord, bless the audience to see the side of you that is laughter. That is laughter from the gut. Bless them to see that side of you that loves a good joke, that side of you that is light. Bless them. If there's a heart that's heavy, touch that heart through me. Bless. Bless them to see you in me. Whatever I'm doing, and if I'm Jamie, sometimes you don't have it. Sometimes I feel empty when I'm standing behind that door. I feel like I don't have the jokes I don't have. I'm tired. I'm worried, and I go, fresh mercy, fresh grace, fresh energy, and fresh jokes. And I pray for everybody, touch them in that spot, and bless them that they get it, that they get what. What you want me to bring. And then that door opens, and I don't think about it anymore. I go out there, and I go. Because. And I tell people, walk into what was already written. And so he wrote it for me. He gave it to me. So I feel like I can't fail because he gave it to me. So just be confident, and I'll go out there and I'll go. I don't know what I'm gonna say. I'm not quite sure what I'm. I don't feel good about the jokes I came up with. It doesn't matter. Something comes. Always.
- [21:25]
A
Always walk into what's already written.
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B
Walk with what has already been written. Walk into it.
- [21:32]
A
Yeah. Yeah. This is so good. I want to call out something. You said. You said I don't get distracted. Right? And in previous years in your life, this has happened, and that's happening. You know, I. For myself, I've been in my past in relationships that took me down or friendships or this or that or that's happening, or that person says something, and it's like the. The thing that is so poignant that you're sharing that I want to call out, because so many people are like, how do I find my purpose? How do I live in alignment with my assignment? How do I feel fulfilled? How do I know, like, this is what I'm doing? And the things that I'm hearing you share are so powerful. 1. You talk about falling many times you've shared, you know, women and other people who have been sources of wisdom in your life, and now you're, like, in alignment with your assignment on the show. You're not letting. You're at this point in your life where you're Saying how you feel. Yeah, it might, it might offend people, it might lift a whole lot of other people up. But you're not carrying that no worry, the burden of worry anymore. You're protecting yourself. And I think that's a big thing because so many of us like oh yeah, that, that friend does lower my vibr vibration. But I'm going to feel bad if I don't, you know, all the things. And before we know it, we're doing that for 20 people. We're wondering why we feel out of alignment. And I'm sitting here right in front of you and just feeling your energy and seeing your eyes and having just come from your show not too long ago and experienced it firsthand. But I also know the very real side of it, which is not every day can we feel like I can just go out there and crush it or I could deliver or. And so you sharing, how do you get to that point every day to be, be able to go out there and be able to do it right? You're protecting yourself offset because you know your assignment. You have friends like, like Tyler and Oprah confirming it. Right. And then you go out there and do it and you talk about your intention for doing it. You're clear with your partners on the show, your intention, you're clear about your own intention. I just have to say this is like a masterclass recipe in how do you live in alignment with your assignment. There is so much more coming up in this episode. You are not going to want to miss it. But first I wanted to share this with you. In life, you don't soar to the level of your hopes and dreams. You stay stuck at the level of your self worth. When you build your self worth, you change your entire life. And that's exactly why I wrote my new book, Worthy how to believe you are enough and transform your life for you. If you have some self doubt to destroy and a destiny to fulfill, Worthy is for you. In Worthy, you'll learn proven tools and simple steps that bring life changing results. Like how to get unstuck from the things holding you back. Build unshakable self love. Unlearn the lies that lead to self doubt and embrace the truths that wake up worthiness, overcome limiting beliefs and imposter syndrome. Achieve your hopes and dreams by believing you are worthy of them and so much more. Are you ready to unleash your greatness and step into the person you were born to be? Imagine a life with zero self doubt and unshakable self worth. Get your copy of Worthy. Plus some amazing thank you bonus gifts for you@worthybook.com or the link in the show notes below. Imagine what you do if you fully believed in you. It's time to find out with Worthy. Imagine what would you do if you fully believed in you? My weekly free inspirational newsletter is packed with tips and tools to help you find out. It's called One on One with Jamie and it's delivered right to your inbox each Tuesday morning. It's a love letter from me to you, from my soul to yours, and I hope it brings you the words and messages you need at just the right moment. Plus, when you're a part of my free inspirational newsletter community, you'll be the first to get behind the scenes content, inspirational messages and be the first to learn about upcoming events and more. It's the place to be and I sure hope you'll join me there. So if you're not on the list yet, you can sign up for free at jamiekernlima.com or click the link in the show notes below. And here's to becoming unstoppable together. And now more of this incredible conversation together. I just have to say, this is like a masterclass recipe in how do you live in alignment with your assignment that someone right now can apply this no matter what they're doing in their.
- [26:33]
B
Life, Even with talking like this. I go, lord, I don't know what cause I ramble and I go, but I'm gonna trust that you are gonna touch somebody to get what they need from it. And sometimes, you know, you walk away and you go, oh my gosh, I didn't say this. I didn't say that. I don't. A lot of times I just a big mantra for me last year and this year has been don't even overthink it. Don't waste energy overthinking it. Because I go, God, you're gonna put the zhuzh and spice on it. And whatever that person in that coral suit with the black leather pants who was sitting in the audience, I know I wanted to say this to this she's gonna get what she was supposed to have gotten from me.
- [27:13]
A
Yes.
- [27:13]
B
And so a lot of times I will be on the show and I'll say something, something will come to me, a joke, and I'll do it. And I'll go, oh, I should have did that. And I go, you know what? It happened. It's not. It's not the end of the world.
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A
Yeah.
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B
God is over this. It's okay.
- [27:26]
A
Yeah, yeah. You know do you ever feel God? Do you ever hear God talk to you?
- [27:32]
B
I can hear. It's so funny. Earlier in my career, I heard it all the time. God. And I would say he sounded like Barry White. There were certain things that. It was just like I was eating this one particular Pinkberry, which Niecy Nash introduced me to. I blame her to this day. And I get. Because I'm a type 2 diabetic, you know, sugar. I can't have that much sugar. And it was a lot of sugar. And I was. And I'm addicted to sugar. And I was eating it, you know, getting a whole take home container, then getting a large. I would go out, you know, at 11 o' clock at night to Pinkberry in the summertime and get it. And I heard a voice as clear as day. It went, no more Pinkberry. When I tell you. That voice scared me. I was like, who? Who?
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A
Like you audibly heard it.
- [28:18]
B
Oh, I. Oh, oh, it's audibly. Audibly. I heard it. I didn't do it for four years. It had to be about four years. I stopped scaring me so bad. But what it was was, it was that voice that was just like, you're going to die if you keep taking as much sugar as you are taking. Like, so I can hear God in those moments. Sometimes I'm on the show and I say something and I, you know, and I want to keep going because everybody's laughing. I'm a comic. I hear that laughter. I will keep tagging with something and I can hear. It's enough. That's enough. Like, I hear that. That is enough. Especially when I'm on the sex thing.
- [28:55]
A
Audibly or like, audibly or like something inside, it's like a whisper going, that's enough. That, you know is coming from a source greater than yourself.
- [29:02]
B
Absolutely. And I go, that's why when people will send me comments and they'll go, how did you. How dare you do that? And you do this? And I go, I'm fine. Because I got a higher person telling me, when, when, when it's time to stop.
- [29:15]
A
Yeah.
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B
Or people that I trust that are in my life, like being a type 2, having type 2 diabetes, God spoke through my son. When my son said to me one time, mommy, if you die, who's gonna be my bodyguard? And I was eating a candy bar, and I said, what? Because when I eat candy or sugar, I get irritated, I get real irritable. And I said, what? And he goes, who's going to be my bodyguard if you die? Which Was, who's going to protect me if you're not here? That was all I needed to hear. I was like, oh, I got to get this together. So I believe that I don't necessarily hear God. You know, somebody's just sitting next here going, you know, we just have a conversation. People are around me who say things, and it confirms.
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A
Yeah.
- [30:05]
B
What I'm feeling. I've been in relationships where I, you know, my will was like, I want this. I want this thing right here. And I. And sometimes I hate praying that prayer going, lord, if he is not for me, slam the door shut. Yes. So that I know. So that I can keep moving. Because also I know if God had given me the talk show when I was really like that, you know, it's so funny to me. God gave me this Talk show at 50. I think 54 was when I got it. Jamie. I'm tired half the time, I don't remember the names of people. I'm like, I can't drop it. Like, it's hot like I used to. I'm like, what are you giving me the talk show now? In my 20s, Lord, in 30s, it would have been on and popping. But you know what? Sherri probably would have got on drugs. Sherri probably would have been with the wrong person. Sherry probably would have had the person she with, you know, it as part of the show because he wants to be part of the. It just would have been a mess. And I know this is a divine assignment because too many people walk up to me and say, my mother has Alzheimer's, and you are the only time I can see her the way she used to be, because she laughs when she watches you. My husband passed away two years ago. I get this when I go to comedy clubs, when they tell me how much they love my show. My husband passed away, and we watched your show together. When I was in the hospital going through dialysis, I watched your show, and your show kept me. Too many people hug me, crying. And I'm not saying that as an ego thing. They hug me and they break down in tears. That's not me. That's something God is doing. It's giving. He's giving you some kind of respite. He's healing your heart, bombing a balm around your spirit with laughter and joy.
- [31:52]
A
Yeah.
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B
And so people. So in my 20s, in my 30s, that wouldn't have been happening because it would have been about Sherry. I'm feeling myself like I'm hanging out with the celebrities. I'm at this party. I'm with this one, you know?
- [32:06]
A
Yeah.
- [32:06]
B
Now I'm very thankful. I'm very thankful that it came. Now I don't. I'm not out in the streets, you know, it's hard to get me out in the streets. I'm at home. Once I take my bra off, girl, I'm at home, so. Me too.
- [32:19]
A
Me too.
- [32:21]
B
So, you know, just going back to faith because I don't know where we were.
- [32:25]
A
And don't you think your steps are ordered, like the show in your 50s, like a. You have enough life experience, enough falls, enough rises, enough falls to, like, carry the weight of what a show is? Enough wisdom, having put in the reps, like, all of it.
- [32:42]
B
That's what it is. It's like the life experience that I have. So when I sit in a chair, I'll give. I love pop culture. We do pop culture. But. And the people who don't like me will say, you always bring it back to you. Yeah, absolutely. Because I have an experience with this. So when gen zers are talking about different things, I have an opinion about that because I've been through it. I have an opinion about learning to say no. I have an opinion because I've fallen and got. I have an opinion about prenups. I have an opinion because I've been through so much. So when I sit in that chair and talk, I think people are listening because they can relate to me.
- [33:19]
A
Yeah.
- [33:19]
B
You know?
- [33:20]
A
Yeah.
- [33:20]
B
And. And I do have the life experience. And that's. And also I remember a pastor, I visited a church one time, trying to remember how I said this, but it hit me. He said, sometimes your dream does not come true because you haven't developed the faith to handle that dream. Like, sometimes you'll get something, and if it crashes, you don't know how to. You don't know how to rebound. And sometimes you have to mature. That's what he said. You have to mature into the reality of that dream because if something happens, you. You can still keep going forward. And we see that with a lot of social media people. They get. They get it. Unfortunately, I'm seeing a lot of tiktokers and social media people who are committing suicide. They're. You know, they're. They're dying because it's. And I'm not trying. I don't know their life, but I do know you get it so fast, and you're not prepared for what comes. I've talked to people who are influencers, and they're not prepared for the backlash that comes on that social media. They're not prepared. They don't know how to not take it personally. They're not prepared for. Because they put. This is a new day of fame. You put your life out there.
- [34:37]
A
Yes.
- [34:37]
B
But now you're getting it back. And people don't forget what you said.
- [34:42]
A
Yes.
- [34:42]
B
You know, four years ago. They don't forget. And that's how they make their money, to put their life out there with their families and their kids. And now, you know, and they. They pitch perfection. And when things crumble, they don't know how to handle the fame. They don't know how to handle the money. They don't know how to handle the family dynamics that happen when you rise. And now you feel like you got to bring everybody up and cancel culture.
- [35:06]
A
You're so just immersed in not having put in enough reps to go, I can handle it.
- [35:13]
B
Absolutely.
- [35:13]
A
People don't like me or agree with me in this moment.
- [35:16]
B
Absolutely. And so this is the thing where it's like, I had to, because I've wanted this dream since I saw Oprah, and I talked about it when she came out. I was emotional since I saw her. And I went out and pitched a talk show before the View. I remember I got a pilot for a talk show, and I went out there, and I was bubbly, and I was joyful, and I was just like, hey, my voice is very high. Hey, hey, everybody. How you doing? And those executives kept saying, we need you to be you. And I go, but I am me. Like, I love. I love. And I was crying, and I was like, lord, thank you for this blessing. This is so amazing. And I sat in my room and I cried because I go, I don't know what they want from me. And everything. We did a fashion show. We had a chef, and we. And everything was funny. We did it in New York on the Kelly Ripa Kelly and Regis Philbin. We did it on their set. It was. They packed the room with people who wanted to come and see me because I was an actress. So the people were loving me, and I thought I was giving them everything. I was standing on my head, but it didn't happen because I didn't know who I was. I just was like, tell me what you want me to do, and I'm gonna give it to you and make it funny. And they kept coming in my room going, just. Can you just be, you know, that sassy Sherry. Was he on this? On stage? And I go, but I am sassy. That's why I said, I am sassy. No, no, I'M not now. I know who I am. I think that's why a lot of young kids or young people. So you have to find. You have to. And that's experience. That's life. That's failures. That's falls, major falls. And you get back up and you dust yourself off and you go, I'm stronger than I thought. So on this show, I can say when somebody says, why don't we put so and so on? That doesn't align with who I am. And I don't think I know my audience. I know my audience. They're not going to dig this person. Because I know who I'm. Who I'm talking to. I'm talking to single mothers. I'm talking to women who want to start their businesses. I'm talking to, you know, people who don't feel seen. So I know exactly who Sherry is. I know when I sit on that chair and I tell a story, somebody is going to relate to that story. So it's. So I can say, no, I don't. No, I'm not interested in having this person on. Because I need them to. I know, yeah, we could have a man do it, but I'd rather a woman do it. Cause she's gonna say she's gonna touch them in a place that maybe a man can't. So let's have her on. Cause I know she's going to inspire.
- [37:57]
A
This is so good. So many people think, like, oh, my hope or dream is too late or this or that. And getting a talk show in your 50s and you being able. 54, girl, you being able to say, this is who I am. This is who my audience is. This is what's gonna work. Probably you wouldn't have been able to do that.
- [38:19]
B
Not my pre. The view. No. I would have been too scared. I would have been. Cause I would have thought they know more than me. They know more than me. So I've never done a talk show. So they can tell me. But here's the deal. At this age, I may not know how the ins and outs of a talk show, but I know who I am. And I know and I know. And I'm not coming from a place of arrogance, but a place of its divine order. And because God is in it, you can take me out of the seat and put somebody else in to replace me, but then you're not going to get me. People are watching Sherry because they want what Sherry has to say. They want. They. They want to hear what I have to say. Because they can relate to Me, there's somebody out here who has a child who has special needs, who's like, I don't know what I'm gonna do. I'm a single mom, and I'm scared. And then they hear me, even being a celebrity go, I'm scared, too. And I'm trying to. Somebody out there has a teenager, and they're going, I don't know. I feel like I'm crazy. Okay, well, Sherry just said she feels like she's crazy, too. Cause her son doesn't want her around. And she's feeling. You know, it's like somebody out there can relate to what I'm dealing with. And I know that you know that. I know that you know who you are.
- [39:36]
A
I want to brag for a second, okay? Because for anyone listening to this show right now, okay, who has not, for whatever reason, not watching the Sheri show, okay, I just have to say this. We pay. So you know this. First of all, number one, you need to watch it. It's that good. It's next level. It's so good. And if you're busy, you work all day. DVR, DVR it, record it.
- [40:01]
B
And we're on YouTube. Like, the full episodes are on YouTube.
- [40:05]
A
When. When you look at the studies that show the impact of laughter, you know, on your mental health, on your mood, we are lonelier than ever. We're a country more stressed than ever, more filled with anxiety than ever. Right? Studies show just 15 minutes of being exposed to laughter or joy or something positive a day has so much, you know, so many effects on you. I just. What I think is remarkable. And I just want to brag for one second, okay? Because I have paid a lot of money to. And it was well worth it to go to a standup show, like, for many different times in my life. I love it. It's so fun. I love it. And I'm always in awe when someone has a great act. And then they'll perfect that act, and they'll do it all year and they'll tour. That's amazing. I love it. The entire first whole part of your show, every single day, is better than almost any standup show I've ever seen. And you're doing a new one every single day.
- [41:03]
B
Every day.
- [41:04]
A
Every single day. And so for anyone who tunes in, it's like. It's like you're getting this fresh, like, real time. I'm going to call it anointing, but this fresh, for anyone who doesn't know what that word means, this fresh, real time. Just, you know, Comedic, soul filled, connected, laugh out loud part of your day. And your jokes are so funny. When I was in the green room coming on your show a few weeks ago, I almost cried my eyelashes off, okay. Because I was laughing so hard. Our entire room, our entire green room was laughing so hard. And you were talking about something with your feet and walking on the Runway. But being grateful. Baby oil was just back in stock. It was the whole thing. We were laughing so hard. It was like. And I just watched and I felt. I felt like. I didn't feel like I knew. I was just sitting there watching somebody who is genius, like in her greatness and thinking about every person at home right now who's getting blessed by that laughter, by that joy. Because a lot of us don't have that in our lives anywhere else. Right. And we need that. And I just want to say for a second, I believe you when you say God is in it. Because I don't know that a human can do that, can come out and every single day be delivering that kind of comedy. That is next level.
- [42:37]
B
Yeah, that. Can I just say what's so funny is how I know God is in it. Because when we started the show, I took over Wendy Williams time slot and I had a full panic attack. The day before we started my show, completely full panic blown. Because it takes to develop a talk show. Takes one to two years to develop. What is the theme of it? Who are you? What are you saying? Let's test it out in front of different crowds. It, it, it literally is a year that goes before and then they have to sell it. I stepped into a very unique situation where the time slot was open and the affiliates were already on board. I have gained now more affiliates. I think when I came in, it was already on board, like 86%. Now I'm at 95% sold across the country. But I developed my talk show literally in a month. Cause I had been filling in. But I knew what I wanted to do all my life. Like, I knew what kind of show I wanted, but I didn't know the ins and the outs. And the day before, you know, I wanted a comedy writer, but we weren't able to get a comedy writer to help me. Ellen had about 12 comedians giving her jokes. When she would come and do her monologue, Jimmy Kimmel has a room full of comics. Every talk show that does any kind of comedy, any monologue, they have a room full of comics. Because some jokes don't work and they do the other jokes. We couldn't have a comic it was just me. And I said, lord, I'm not. I can't write. I don't even know what I'm gonna talk. Like, I gotta come out and do a monologue. What am I gonna do? I cried. I lost it. And something said. I always go. Something said, because I don't know who I'm talking to. Holy spirit. It was a voice inside that talked to me and said, what did Oprah say to you? Because Oprah had talked to me. That was divine. Like, she left me a message. And she's like, I've been trying to call you. I'm like, first of all, who is this? She said, texted, this is Oprah. I was like, no, it's not. She was like, this is Oprah, and I've been trying to call you. Maybe we can figure out a time that we can talk. And I'm like, I'm figuring out a time I could talk with Oprah. And she called me. And literally for an hour, just in talking to me, I got so many nuggets of things, and she made me laugh. And so that voice said. And when I was telling people what Oprah was talking about, and a lot of it was serious because I look at it differently. They were cracking up, cracking up. And it said, talk about when you talk what Oprah said. And I said, I can't say what Oprah told me. You know what I'm saying? Everything Oprah told you, but there are things that you can say about Oprah. Just talk about it. And that was my monologue. When I came out, how Oprah Winfrey called me and I said, this ain't Oprah. And she had to convince me that she was Oprah and she taught in. My arthritis kicked in as I was taking notes. I still got the 12 pages of notes from Oprah and what she was telling me. And that was my monologue. And that's how I knew this is God. Because when stuff. When I don't have it, it's the. Where I am weak. You are strong. He gives me what I need because he gave me the assignment. Because he gave it to me. He not going to give it to me. And he ain't going to work it out and be like, oh, my God, didn't nobody tell me. Did nobody told me Sherry didn't know her jokes. Nobody told me that she didn't have any energy. Nobody told. She can't remember people's names. No. If he gave it to you, he's going to give you everything you need to see it through. And that's why I got my second season. I got Covid. The first day back on my second season of Sherry, I had to call John Batiste, the amazing jazz singer. Cause I was in his face. He was about to fly to France to finish his documentary, which he won an Oscar for, and let him know, John, I got Covid. I had to call Michelle Riteau, who has her show, Survival of the Fittest. She's about to go to London to do a comedy tour to tell her I got Covid. Neither one of them had it. I had to tell Leslie Jones, who was on a book tour, I got Covid. I was out for a week and a half. So they had to show reruns from the first season. And one of the producers, he's no longer with my show, he said, because whenever you show reruns, ratings go down. And he said, oh, if the ratings keep going like this, you're not gonna be on in the summer. And I panicked. And my girlfriend. You always got a girlfriend who know God better than you. She said, sherry, first of all, what you being scared for? God, the one gave it to you. Did he say the show gonna go out there? Did he not know you were gonna get Covid? The show not going off till God say it's time for the show to go off. And I was like, you know what? As I'm blowing my nose and sick, I go, it's gonna be fine. Mm. Mm. It's gonna be fine.
- [47:49]
A
Isn't the girlfriend that knows God better than you the best?
- [47:52]
B
The best. You need one of those.
- [47:54]
A
The best, right? Everyone needs one of those. Everyone needs one of those.
- [47:58]
B
I like you. You are so good. You are really. You are really, really good at this, Jamie. So continue, because it's very anointed. It's very anointed. I just spoke in front of 20,000 people, and they wanted me to be a speak. It was like, for the society of human resources managers. And I can do stand up for 20,000 people no problem. Stepping out of my comfort zone. And I just think it's just something that stays in my mind. They hired me to do an hour speak for an hour in front of 20,000 people. The room was already packed, sold. And I panicked and said, how am I going to. Lord, I do stand up like these people? I don't know what I'm going to say. I'm not even worthy to be. What am I going to tell human resource managers? And when I tell you I was trying to do cards and things and notes and give Them something they could take notes about. And it was just a mess. And I had a panic attack again the night I was supposed to do it. There was also a big, well known actor who we know who was on TV on a big show. They also hired him to be a keynote speaker. He canceled at the last minute and they saw him at a WNBA game. So he didn't go. I think fear took over. And my girlfriend is the one who knows God better than me. She said, they don't expect perfection and they have nothing to judge you against. So they don't know if you're gonna mess up. And I'm like, but they want graphics. And I got pictures and they got a clicker. And it's 20,000 people who paid to come to the seminar. And she said, all you gotta do is show up. If he called you to do it, you just gotta show up and he'll do the rest. And I got to the venue, I saw 20,000 chairs and was just like freaking out. And I said, I need a table to put my note cards. I had 19 note cards that I was supposed to refer to. Then the clicker didn't work. Then they didn't have anybody to do the clicker for my pictures. My publicist had to do it. She was like, I don't know. You didn't even tell me you was using pictures. It was just. And the air conditioning was so strong and my cards kept blowing so I had to put something on top. But then I couldn't read it. Then I didn't have my glasses on and they announced me. And I walked past all those people and I said, lord, I just got to give it to you. Give me what I need. I can't remember all of my acronyms. Do you know? And I told him, I said, I don't think I'm only going to do 45 minutes at an hour and 15 minutes. There was a note on one of the screens that said, sher, you got to wrap it up. We have another seminar. So an hour and 20 I spoke.
- [50:46]
A
Wow.
- [50:47]
B
And was mobbed by so many human resource managers who wrote. The president told me. He said, you. They said by far, you were the best keynote speaker. You gave them. You were authentic. You were. You. My, My new Valentino's. I never had a pair of Valentino shoes. Got stuck in the stage, got. And God gave me a joke that got me out of it. And the, the. The president of the human resources managers, he was single. So I had jokes for days. I said, I know you're gonna buy me another pair of sho. It was. It was. And I keep that. It was so phenomenal how all I had to do was show up, because it's. It wasn't about me. It was about what God wanted to be done with the folks. And I kept going. I didn't say this, I didn't say that, but they didn't need it.
- [51:35]
A
They didn't know.
- [51:35]
B
So many people wrote and said, now, I, I, I've been fearful all my life. And you just showed me how to get past fear, how to manage fear, how to. You showed me how I can empower people with love, my team with love. I don't remember what I told them, but I knew it was amazing when I got off and they had to bring other security people from the other seminars to get me out of the room. How impactful it was, but it wasn't about me.
- [52:02]
A
Yeah.
- [52:03]
B
And I think if people can take it off of them and go, what is my assignment here? What do you want to do through me?
- [52:12]
A
Yeah. Yeah. And in any situation, big or small, they're going to meet someone for coffee. Don't freak out over it. Just say, okay, God, if you want this relationship to happen, just move through me. Let me be myself. If they want to be funny, they want to be more funny and drop some jokes. I'm going to say to everyone today, because I know we started off the conversation about being funny, but I think, you know, and maybe, Sherry, maybe I'm projecting my own stuff because I feel like I'm funny. But then sometimes I, like, hold back and I get introverted and I don't say the funny thing. And my kids the other day said, you know, dad is funny, Mama snuggles. And I'm like, I'm funny. I'm funny. I'm gonna challenge everyone listening. The next time you just think of something funny today, just say it.
- [53:01]
B
Just say it.
- [53:02]
A
Just say it one little baby step at a time.
- [53:04]
B
Absolutely.
- [53:05]
A
Get in touch with your humor, in touch with your funny. Right? Because I think, like, that's what I'm gonna do. 1. I'm just gonna start saying the jokes and seeing if they land.
- [53:13]
B
And. Yes.
- [53:14]
A
And then most importantly, tune in to Sheri. Tune in to Sheri every single day. DVR. I have it DVR'd. So I'll watch it. I'll watch it. If I can't make a show, I'll watch it at night. It is good for this. It is like soul care in a show. Because we all need love. We all need that example that you set of approaching everything with love. And also we just need that beautiful laughter in our life and who you are. And I want to say thank you for how you showed up here too because I love seeing all these sides of you and seeing like the like the strong person that you are and how you know who you are and how you know how to say no and you know when to say yes and your faith and thank you so much. Thank you. I'm so grateful. I hope it's the first of many I know. If you love today's episode too, my only ask is that you please click on the Follow or Subscribe button for the show on your app, give it a five star rating or review and then share this episode with everyone you believe in. Share it with another person in your life who could benefit from it, post it and share it with others online or in your community who just might need the words and tools and lessons in this episode today. You never know whose life you're meant to change today by sharing this episode. And thank you so much for joining me today. And before you go, I want to share some words with you that couldn't be more true. You right now, exactly as you are, are enough and fully worthy. You're worthy of your greatest hopes, your wildest dreams and all the unconditional love in the world. And it is an honor to welcome you to each and every episode of the Jamie Kern Lima show here. I hope you'll come as you are and heal where you need, blossom what you choose, journey toward your calling and stay as long as you'd like because you belong here. You are worthy, you are loved. You are love. And I love you. And I cannot wait to join you on the next episode of the Jamie Kern Lima Show. Do you struggle with negative self talk? Living with a constant mental narrative that you're not good enough is exhausting. I know because I spent most of my life in that habit. The words you say to yourself about yourself are so powerful and when you learn to take control over your self talk, it's life changing and I wanted to give you a free resource that I created for you if this is something that could benefit your Life. It's called 5 Ways to Overcome Negative Self Talk and Build self love. And it's a free how to guide to overcome that negative self talk to build confidence and develop unshakable self love so that you can dream big and keep going in the pursuit of your goals. Don't let self sabotaging thoughts hinder your progress any longer. It's time to rewrite the script of your life, one filled with self love, resilience and unwavering belief. If you're ready to take charge of your narrative, build unwavering confidence and empower yourself to persevere on the path to your dreams, you can grab your free guide to Stop overthinking and learn to Trust yourself@jamiekernlima.com or click the link in the Show Notes below. Who you spend time around is so important as energy is contagious and so is self belief. And I'd love to hang out with you even more, especially if you could use an extra dose of inspiration. Which is exactly why I've created my free weekly newsletter that's also a love letter to you delivered straight to your inbox from me. If you haven't signed up to make sure that you get it each week, just go to jamiecarnlima.com to make sure you're on the list and you'll get your one on one with Jamie weekly newsletter and get ready to believe in you. If you're tired of hearing the bad news every single day and need some inspiration, some tips, tools, joy and love hitting your inbox, I'm your girl. Subscribe@jamiekernlima.com or in the link in the Show Notes. It's such an honor to share this podcast together with you. And please note, I'm not a licensed therapist and this podcast is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist or other qualified professional. If you love this incredible, incredible episode, I promise you you're also going to love this life changing episode right here of the Jamie Kern Lima Show. It's up next. Just for.