How to Question What You Were Taught, Discover Your True Self & Embrace Your Power w/Sherri Shepherd

Summary

The Jamie Kern Lima Show

Episode: How to Question What You Were Taught, Discover Your True Self & Embrace Your Power

Guest: Sherri Shepherd
Date: September 23, 2025

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Episode Overview

In this heartfelt and laughter-filled episode, Jamie Kern Lima sits down with Sherri Shepherd—Emmy Award-winning comedian, actress, talk show host, and mother—for a candid conversation about overcoming self-doubt, questioning old beliefs, discovering one’s authentic self, and owning your sense of worth and joy. Together, they explore the power of humor, the weighted realities of motherhood (particularly raising a neurodiverse son), the challenges of being a public figure, and practical wisdom for anyone ready to break free from people-pleasing and step into their truest, most empowered self.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Weight of Expectations and Speaking Your Truth

• Pressure in Public Life: Sherri opens up about the heavy expectations she felt as a co-host on The View, feeling responsible not to let down Black people, Black women, or Christians.
  • “I used to carry the weight of the world on me. Oh, I can't let black people down. I can't let black women down. I can't let Christ.” (00:22, Sherri Shepherd)
• People-Pleasing and Social Media: Jamie and Sherri discuss society’s tendency—especially for women—to people-please and fear backlash for sharing real opinions online.
  • Jamie: “Most women are raised people pleasers. Everyone's afraid to say what they think.” (33:24)
• Joy Behar’s Advice:
  • “The moment you open your mouth, half the world's gonna hate you. So, you know, go by what you feel and what you think.” (32:29, Sherri recalling Joy Behar)

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2. Harnessing Humor as a Gift and a Unifier

• Innate Humor vs. Hard Work: Sherri views her comedic gift as both something God-given and something that requires serious work and discipline.

  • “That is a specific gift from God that I have... But I do make money at being funny. My family tells me all the time, that wasn't funny.” (05:58, Sherri Shepherd)

• Behind the Scenes: The fun on stage is deeply prepared; offstage, she is much more serious and business-minded.

  • “I work really hard to create that first 20 minutes that I sit on the chair... I'm a perfectionist. So I'm very serious about the business part.” (05:58)

• Humor as a Coping Mechanism: Sherri uses humor to process and communicate even difficult topics, including politics and activism, making them more accessible and less intimidating.

  • “Look at life a little bit different. Don't look at it through the average type of lens.” (09:21)
  • Example: Sherri jokes about needing orthotics if she goes to march for a cause (09:30).

• Mission of Laughter: In divided or distressing times, Sherri believes laughter and humor are crucial for unity and healing.

  • “The one thing that I know I said to the audience is that laughter unifies.” (13:21)
  • “Humor and laughter. It's needed. I have friends who think what I do is... not moving the world, but it's needed more than ever. I feel it's like an assignment from God.” (16:54)

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3. Questioning Beliefs & Discovering Self

• Breaking Out of Conditioning: Early in life, Sherri adopted beliefs simply because they were taught to her by her church or surroundings.
  • “All I knew was what the church taught me... I didn't think for myself.” (30:12)
• Catalysts to Change: Barbara Walters and Whoopi Goldberg challenged Sherri to read widely and think independently.
  • “Barbara Walters said to me, dear, read a book… Whoopi said, but what do you think? What do you think about that?” (30:12)
• Exposure to New Perspectives: Travel and meeting diverse people were pivotal in Sherri learning to let go of prejudice and judgment.
  • “Sometimes we have to get out of where we live... When you don't, that's how you get prejudice, and that's how you get judgmental.” (30:12)
• Powerful Reflection (Jamie):
  • “Wait a minute. I have learned a lot. I've been taught a lot. But wait a minute. What do I actually think? Not what does my partner think? Not what does my parents think? Not what did my teachers teach me to think. What do I actually think?” (31:28, Jamie Kern Lima)

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4. Motherhood, Fear, and Independence

• Raising a Neurodiverse Child: Sherri discusses her son Jeffrey, who is on the autism spectrum, and how current events shape her parental fears and decisions.
  • She expresses concern about policies that could harm young Black men (e.g., Stop and Frisk, Project 2025).
  • “With stop and frisk as a mother, that's very terrifying to me because for somebody who's on the spectrum, if there's a lot of people saying, get down, put your hands behind me, that confuses him. He doesn't like to be touched.” (13:21)
  • “So with this election, how does this affect my child, who's on the spectrum?” (19:23)
• Balancing Freedom and Protection: Sherri struggles with wanting Jeffrey to have independence but fearing for his safety in the world. She shares personal stories of his adventures and innocence.
  • “He just walks around very free… bad energy he doesn't sense. He just walks around very free.” (13:21)
  • “He could see five people sitting at the table who don't belong there. And he'd go, what's up, bro? And go up in his room.” (13:21)
• Candid Parenting Challenges: She admits uncertainty and fear about how to parent in this new landscape.
  • “I don't know. This is the first time I've ever been a mother of a child that has special needs... who doesn't just get it.” (21:47)
  • “I'm praying all the time going, okay, we're here. This is a new day. And now I have to teach my son, Lord, how do I do that?” (21:47)

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5. Dating, Boundaries, and Authentic Sharing

• Humor in Relationships: Sherri appreciates humor in a partner but dislikes those who are “always on.”
  • “Humor gets me... But now I can't be with a man who's funny 24/7. That would drive me up the wall.” (24:43 - 25:39)
• Physical Preferences: Sherri shares her “real type,” challenging common expectations about what a woman “should” want.
  • “I like short guys. I do. I like short men who are compact… I'm five one, probably five, seven and eight. That's the cutoff right there.” (26:00)
• Privacy as Empowerment: With experience in the public eye, Sherri is purposeful about what she shares regarding her love life.
  • “They did not ask for this life. I asked for it. So it's not fair... I think people overshare so much on social media. There's gotta be something [kept private].” (28:16)
  • On dating those seeking fame: “Okay, all you want to do is Go on the red carpet... You want me to introduce you to Tina Fey to read your script. Oh, that has happened before.” (29:40)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On humor as a gift:
  “That is a specific gift from God that I have.” (01:46, Sherri Shepherd)
• On being serious offstage:
  “If you ask my assistant Edie, is Sherry funny, she'd be like, no... Like, and I know a lot of comics like that who are, you know, when they're in front of the camera, they are so funny. But then when you see them off the camera, serious is a heart attack.” (07:19)
• On being different:
  “The way I look at things is a typical person will see a circle. I look at things through a square and try to fit that square into the circle, and it doesn't. And that's my funny.” (08:10)
• On motherhood and fear:
  “I want him to grow up and not be fearful… but I'm scared for my son.” (19:25)
• On questioning beliefs:
  “All I knew was what the church taught me... I didn't think for myself.” (30:12)
• On authenticity and vulnerability:
  “Most women are raised people pleasers... If you just open your mouth, you're gonna make half the people hate you. But life's too short to keep our mouth... Like to live with a closed mouth our whole life.” (33:23, Jamie Kern Lima)
• On letting go of judgment:
  “I couldn't get through two [marriages]. They lasted both total maybe six, seven years. And you have been with your partner for 21 years. Somebody doing something right.” (32:30, Sherri Shepherd)
• On privacy in dating:
  “There's gotta be something [kept private]... The moment something happens and you're like, please respect my privacy... But you've given it to us. You have open. Once you open the door in social media to people they don't forget.” (28:16)
• On laughter as healing:
  “The one thing that I know I said to the audience is that laughter unifies.” (13:21, Sherri Shepherd)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Opening conversation on pressure and being funny: 00:00 – 11:15
• Using humor to process challenging times/Laughter as medicine: 11:15 – 13:21
• Discussing the political climate, motherhood, and fears for her son: 13:21 – 21:47
• Humor and relationships; dating preferences: 24:43 – 27:45
• On privacy, sharing, and the downsides of social media: 27:48 – 29:49
• Transformational advice from The View and questioning beliefs: 30:00 – 33:09
• Disclosure, people-pleasing, speaking up: 33:09 – 34:00

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Tone & Style

• The episode is warm, vulnerable, real, and punctuated with organic humor.
• Both Jamie and Sherri speak candidly, using personal stories and lively language.
• Sherri’s direct, storytelling style is both relatable and deeply insightful—often moving between laughter and poignancy in a single breath.

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Practical Takeaways

• Question what you were taught: Don’t accept beliefs just because they were handed down. Ask yourself, “What do I actually think?”
• Humor heals and unites: Laughter is powerful, especially during times of collective anxiety or despair.
• Embrace authenticity: If you speak your truth, some will dislike it, but your tribe will find you.
• Set boundaries around sharing: Especially in a world obsessed with social media, it’s healthy and wise to keep some things private.
• Give yourself permission to be both serious and silly: Discipline and joy can coexist and are both necessary for a fulfilled life.
• Parenting in an uncertain world requires courage: Don’t be afraid to admit what you don’t know and ask for help.

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For Next Time

This conversation was so rich that Jamie announced a forthcoming Part Two with Sherri Shepherd. Stay tuned for deeper discussion on breaking through fear, trusting your voice, and stepping into your purpose.

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Listen, laugh, and give yourself permission to be both joyful and real—because, as Jamie reminds us, you are worthy, just as you are.

Transcript

[A]

On today's episode, how to question everything you've been taught and become your true self with Emmy Award winning comedian and talk show host, Sherri Shepherd. You've talked about crying for three years straight on the View. How did you get to that point of saying, okay, I'm gonna open my mouth and half people aren't gonna like me?

[B]

I used to carry the weight of the world on me. Oh, I can't let black people down. I can't let black women down. I can't let Christ.

[A]

This is a big thing that I'm excited to talk to you about because so many women, but also people. Let's just put it out there. So many people, we have all this pressure now to post on Social, and then you do and you get attacked. There's gonna be so many millions of people listening or watching this that are gonna have an aha moment right now, as Oprah would call it, where they're like, wait a minute. I have learned a lot. How many elections have you voted in? Because I know for a while you didn't vote, right?

[B]

Yeah, I was at Jehovah's Mother. I didn't start voting until I got on the View. I'm definitely about un. I thought the country was ready for a woman. I really did. And as a black woman, I thought the country was ready for a black woman. And I have a son who's. He's 19 and he's on the spectrum. So many things are flying that Stop and Frisk may be implemented again. Well, Stop and Frisk affects young, brown and black boys. So with Stop and Frisk, as a mother, that's very terrifying to me. The one thing that I know I said to the audience is that laughter unifies.

[A]

Do you think you're born funny? Like, it's just part of your anointing or part of your personality?

[B]

It definitely is. That is a specific gift from God that I have. I just know that when I sit in that chair, it's a responsibility. Especially now because people are in despair. They're worried about their kids. They're worried about, you know, am I gonna have a job? They're worried about racial issues, and they need an hour to just go. I don't wanna think about that. I just wanna laugh. That's what I'm here for. Welcome to the Jamie Kern Lima Show.

[A]

Oprah, how have you defied the odds?

[B]

Her show is unlike any I've ever done. A revelation. When you listen, it feels like a hug. Your brain and your spirit and your heart is like, wow.

[A]

Melinda French Gates.

[B]

When I look into Jamie's eyes, I feel like I am on some other cosmic level with her. I could see the light around her.

[A]

She's infused with light. Imagine overcoming self doubt, learning to believe in yourself and trust yourself and know you are enough. Welcome to the Jamie Kern Lima show.

[B]

Jamie Kern Lima is her name. Everybody needs to Jamie Kima in their life. Jamie Ker. Jamie, you're so inspiring. Jamie Kern Lima.

[A]

They say laughter is the best medicine and my incredible guest, Sherry shepherd is medicine for millions of us daily on her hit television talk show, Sherry. And let me just tell you from firsthand experience, it is funnier than ever. Sheri is an Emmy award winning, NAACP Image award, winning, Gracie award winning. And that's just a few of them. Host, actress, comedian, author and mom. Known for her impeccable timing and relatable humor. From her main seat on the View for seven years to her wide range of acting, business and hosting roles, she's truly the definition of a multi talented superstar. I fell in love with her when I got the gift of being a guest on her show this year. And actually, funny story, my husband Paulo fell in love with her when he heard she appeared on an episode of WWE Smackdown as a guest manager to professional wrestler mvp. Sheri has truly done it all and yet her star is burning brighter than ever right now. And speaking of stars, she, Sherry, will be getting a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame this year. So well deserved. Sherri shepherd, welcome to the Jamie, Kurt and Lima show.

[B]

Oh my goodness. Jamie.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

I was like, who is that girl?

[A]

You're like, is that me?

[B]

Oh, man, that's you. Wow.

[A]

What an honor you're here.

[B]

Thank you for having me.

[A]

I'm so excited.

[B]

That's a lot of pressure. I feel like I'm supposed to be, you know, after you read all of that, I'm supposed to be like really great.

[A]

I think you can't help but be really great. And it was such a gift to be on your show recently. And that's where I just got to see your beautiful soul and feel it. I just want to kick it off with this topic of being funny. So like, studies show, studies show laughter improves every part of our health, our mental health, our mood, our entire life. And you call yourself a good time. A good time. And so many of us, we want to be more of a good time in our lives. And you know, I hear from a lot of women that are like, as an adult, I feel like I'm, I've lost touch with my sense of humor. I feel like I don't even know if I'm funny anymore. I don't know how to have fun. So right off the top, Sherri shepherd, how do we get in touch with our sense of humor? And, like, how can we be more fun and funny? Do you feel like you're born funny? Like, it's just part of your anointing or part of your personality?

[B]

It definitely is. That is a specific gift from God that I have. And it's not to say my funny is better than other people, because I'm not the. My whole family is funny. I'm not the funniest person. I'm probably the least funniest. But I do make money at being funny. My family tells me all the time, that wasn't funny, what you said. That wasn't. And when we all get together, it's. You would crack up at everybody in my family, they're funny. So I don't. Even with men, sometimes I'm very serious, you know, and they go, where's that? Where's that, Sherry? Or people who work for me, Jamie, they. I will tell them. The one that you see on the chair, I'm much more scripted. Like, I work really hard to create that first 20 minutes that I sit on the chair. It takes an hour for us to come up with 18 minutes of material or 14 minutes of material. And I'm a perfectionist. So I'm very serious about the business part. I think some of my dates go, wow, you kind of serious.

[A]

Yeah. Well, this is probably why you're able to make money being funny, because you have both sides to you. You can bring it when you need to, but then you are also. You probably have that other part of your brain where you're like, oh, this has got to be good. Because most people I meet who are really successful, no matter if they're an artist or an entertainer or a business person, doesn't matter. They have that side of them. They're.

[B]

Yeah, I have that side of me. I'm really about business. I'm very serious about my. You know, my. If you ask my assistant Edie, is Sherry funny, she'd be like, no, if I mess up with Jeffrey, I don't wanna see that side of Sherry. Like, and I know a lot of comics like that who are, you know, when they're in front of the camera, they are so funny. But then when you see them off the camera, serious is a heart attack.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

My co host on my podcast, Kim Whitley, when we're together, she makes me Laugh. But she's very serious. Yeah, I'm thinking of somebody. Niecy Nash, my other bestie. Very serious when we're talking, so. But when we have to go out, we can pull up.

[A]

So when you feel like saying something and you know it's funny, do you ever doubt it, or do you just, like, let it come out?

[B]

I don't even think, oh, this is gonna be funny. I just say it.

[A]

You just say it.

[B]

I just. And it makes people laugh. It's just the. Now I do know. It's the way I look at things. Like, the way I look at things is a typical person will see a circle. I look at things through a square and try to fit that square into the circle, and it doesn't. And that's my funny. I don't think about it. I just say it.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

And it's so. It's the lens at which I look at life. So I don't look at it in a. In a normal, you know, kind of way. Like, I think a rant that I did on my show was about going to the podiatrist and him cutting my corns and touching my feet, and the way I looked at it was like. It was like a whole sexual experience, and it was so amazing. And the way he did it and how he said, you know, I need you to wear orthotics. And I was like, I do. I do. I will wear orthotics. I don't think about, oh, this is gonna be funny if I say it. That was just the experience. And I came in to my. The Hot Topics meeting, and I said, I just had this experience with this podiatrist. Let me tell you about it. And once I saw they were on the floor, I go, well, we can use it. So I don't. I guess I don't. It just comes out.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

And it's the way I look at life. So look at life a little bit different. Don't look at it through the average type of lens. See it, look at it a different way.

[A]

You know, like, I just went to the podiatrist, and that was a sexual experience.

[B]

That was. Yeah. And like, even now, even, like, with the election, without getting political, it's like, you know, it's a different day now. We have to now fight for our rights. We have to. And my immediate mindset, I was talking to a bunch of very accomplished women, and we're very concerned about how do we. How is this world gonna be for our children and, you know, standing up for our rights. And fighting. And I go, well, what. Okay, when you say fight, like, I have sciatica. Like, what kind of fighting are we doing? Are we talking. Are we talking about fighting? You know, intellectually. Cause I just stayed up till five in the morning watching the mayor of Kingstowne, so I'm a little tired. Like, how much fighting can we. And marching is not for me because I have flat feet. So do I have to wear my orthotics when I march? Is it gonna be a bathroom near when I march? And, you know, I can't see, so I don't even know if I'm. My. My. My eyesight. I need my reading glasses. You know, am I gonna be able to read the signs that we gotta make? And, you know, I show up on time. So all the young people, like, marching is a young person's game. And it was just. I just started going off on this whole rant about marching being for young people because they got the stamina. Their feet aren't gonna hurt. They don't have to go to the bathroom. When they start going, you know, they're coming. Run. Okay, I can't run. My knees gonna give out. I don't drop it like it's hot. And they were all laughing. And I go, but seriously, this is what I'm thinking.

[A]

So during an election recap.

[B]

During an election recap, so I can get on stage and talk about the election for 50 minutes and make it funny. Because the way I look at, you know, it's serious to me, but some of the way I look at it is. Is just a little different.

[A]

Like, you find the humor in it.

[B]

I find the humor in it. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. How are you feeling about the election?

[B]

How am I feeling about the election? I'm very disappointed because I was. I thought the country was ready for a woman. I really did. And as a black woman, I thought the country's ready for a black woman. And I. And I thought, this is. I was so excited about Kamala Harris because I felt Kamala Harris, she may not be a biological mother where children came from her womb, but she's a mother. That's why she, you know, like, she has her stepdaughter, her step kids, and she. I felt finally, we're going to have a woman who has mothering instincts and nurturing instincts who can run the country. If you women. We've run so many things, and there's, you know, I'm definitely. We have things that men don't have. Our femininity, our. Our softness, our compassion, our Empathy. And I thought, this is what we need. Somebody who's going to sit there and go, you, you, we're not doing this war thing. We not. We gonna come to the table, we're gonna sit down and we're gonna talk until one of us is tired. But we're gonna look for solutions rather than just clashing somebody who, who can, who can empathize over here and over here, because that's what we do when we have to, you know, negotiate things. And I thought, finally, you're gonna see what a woman brings, the strength and, and the power of just being a woman. Why people love being around us, why a mother can take you in her arms and say, it's going to be all right. I don't care what happens. Anybody who goes to a courtroom, they could commit the worst of crimes and their mama will be right there going, but that's my baby. And I said, we're going to have someone leading a country like that who just has these qualities that have not been seen. So I, it, for me, it was disappointing. And I have a son who's, he's 19 and he's on the spectrum.

[A]

Jeffrey.

[B]

Jeffrey. And so it wasn't so much worried about me. It was, how do I explain this to a boy whose brain processes differently? He doesn't understand Project 2025. He doesn't understand. So it's a lot of stress on me because I think that they said, you know, and I don't know if it's true or not, so so many things are flying that Stop and Frisk may be implemented again. Well, Stop and Frisk affects young brown and black boys. And my son is now trying to get his independence as a 19 year old. So I allow him to get on the train and just go and get off. He just has to let me know where he's at. He took the train to Brooklyn to go to a Nets game, but he went three hours before the game started because he just wanted to walk around. And he just wanders around and he, because he's got. He'll say, mommy, I'm so excited, but you don't see it on his face. And he'll say, I'm so excited. And so if you just look at him, he just looks like a grown man who just is kind of blank, but he's taken in everything. So I let him walk around Brooklyn for three hours. He went, he said, mommy, I met. Getting iced tea. Mommy, I went to this Chipotle. I'm sitting down eating. Mommy, I'm at The Barclays Center. So I'm going in the museum. But it was very scary for me. But I said, he needs to get his independence. He needs to feed. He's 19 year old. Things are happening in his body, but his brain doesn't process everything. So he has a hard time sensing energy. So bad energy he doesn't sense. He just walks around very free. If you talk to him, he'll give you a big smile, you know, he got a job working at the movie theater, taking tickets, and so he's very innocent. So with stop and frisk as a mother, that's very terrifying to me because for somebody who's on the spectrum, if there's a lot of people saying, get down, put your hands behind me, that confuses him. And he's gonna be like, dude, I can't be. He doesn't like to be touched. So all of these things. As a mother with a child, an adult, but he's my baby of special needs. This. This scares me because now I have to go home and explain to Jeffrey, I just can't let you go and go to a restaurant by yourself. And you want to walk around the block because he wants to be like the teenagers that he sees. He points them out all the time, Mommy, I want to be like them. They're just walking around, just walking around. You know, Jeffrey forgets to bring his ID with him. He's just not aware. And if my son saw the windows broken out of our house with the door hanging wide open, he wouldn't think, oh, somebody may have broken out. I better call my mom. He'd go inside, he could see five people sitting at the table who don't belong there. And he'd go, what's up, bro? And go up in his room. So now hearing that and going, my son wants independence. I want him to find independence. I want him to be able to walk around New York City. He can't. How do I explain to him that I cannot allow you to do that? And then I don't want to put fear on him, but I'm scared. So what I think about the election, it is concerning to me. I did not vote for Donald Trump. I voted for Kamala Harris and Tim Waltz because her message of moving the country forward and it being a new day and unifying, I'm definitely about unifying. I said that on my show. We found out that Donald Trump had become president of the United States. And I go, how do I go and make people laugh? There will be a lot of people that are going to Be happy. And there are going to be a lot of people who are devastated. There's a lot of rights that are going to be rolled back with Project 2025, you know, education. If you don't know your history, then how are you going to know what your future is? And that was a heavy day for me. But I said, the one thing that I know I said to the audience is that laughter unifies. And I could hear grumblings in the audience. There were people who were very happy that they clapped when I said, there's some people that are going to be happy today. And some people clapped. And then I could hear grumbling in the audience of people who didn't, who had voted another way. And I said, but if you would allow me to do what I do, make you laugh, because that's what I know how to do with my eyes closed. Let me do the work for you. And they clapped. And so the one thing I know is humor and laughter. It's needed. I have friends who think what I do is, you know, you talk show, you're great, you're entertaining, you're actor, you're great. But it's not moving the world. It's not changing the world. Don't tell me that. It's needed more than ever. And I feel it's like an assignment from God. I'm thankful that he's using me because there's people who are funnier than me. But I just know that when I sit in that chair, it's a responsibility. Especially now, because people are in despair. They're worried about their kids, they're worried about, you know, am I going to have a job? They're worried about racial issues and they need an hour to just go. I don't want to think about that. I just want to laugh. That's what I'm here for. I'm not going to give you the news of the day and this breaking news and this political and this. And I'm disappointed. I need to find a way to move on, and I need to find a way to unify. And I need, you know, and I want to love so. But there. But those are the issues that, you know, as with this election, how does this affect my child, who's on the spectrum, who just really isn't aware.

[A]

What are you gonna do? Like.

[B]

Cause he's 19 and I'm struggling with that. I'm really, really struggling with that. Because I want him to grow up and not be fearful. I want him to grow up with as much independence as he can have. I wanted him to be happy and be at a job that he loves, and he loves people. Like, you know, I'm scared for my son. My son, you know, he came to me years ago and he's like, mommy, I like white girls. I like him to have big butts like a Kardashian. That's what he said to me.

[A]

What'd you say?

[B]

And I said, well, you know, Mommy got a big butt. And he's like, uh, well, that's gross. But my son goes to a special needs school. So really, everybody he's grown up with, the girls have been white. That's all he knows. And his cousins are black girls, are little black girls. And his experience with them is they always call and go, auntie, Jeffrey won't do this. Jeffrey won't do that. So that he gets in trouble with the black girls he knows. So he's never been around, really, maybe one black girl that he liked in his school. And he was like, but she likes all of the white boys. So when he came and he said that to me, I'm like, it's very funny. So he went to a prom with a girl who was white. There's this girl. He told me not to talk about him too much, but it's like. So that concerns me because I'm like, him walking down the street with this. All of this stuff going on. If somebody confronts Jeffrey, he doesn't like, all that doesn't bother him. Even him. He rides a train now to school by himself. And I go, does anybody say anything to you? He goes, yeah, but I just ignore it. He said, I sat next to a guy and he woke up. And he's like, why are you sitting next to me? And I go, what did you do? And he goes, I just ignored it. So what am I gonna say, Jamie? I don't know. I'm praying all the time going, okay, we're here. This is a new day. And now I have to teach my son, Lord, how do I do that? With the way. The challenges that he faces, the way he processes in his brain, how do I do that? I don't know. This is the first time I've ever been a mother of a child that has special needs. And it's, you know, who doesn't just get it.

[A]

With. Speaking of him dating. So with you dating, do you look for, like, is there a type you have? There's so much more coming up in this episode. You are not going to want to miss it. But first, I wanted to share this with you in life you don't soar to the level of your hopes and dreams. You stay stuck at the level of your self worth. When you build your self worth, you change your entire life. And that's exactly why I wrote my new book Worthy how to believe you are enough and transform your life for you. If you have some self doubt to destroy and a destiny to fulfill, Worthy is for you. In Worthy you'll learn proven tools and simple steps that bring life changing results like how to get unstuck from the things holding you back, build unshakable self love, unlearn the lies that lead to self doubt and embrace the truths that wake up worthiness, overcome limiting beliefs and imposter syndrome, achieve your hopes and dreams by believing you are worthy of them and so much more. Are you ready to unleash your greatness and step into the person you were born to be? Imagine a life with zero self doubt and unshakable self worth. Get your copy of Worthy plus some amazing thank you bonus gifts for [e-mail] or the link in the show notes below. Imagine what you do if you fully believed in you. It's time to find out with Worthy. Imagine what would you do if you fully believed in you? My weekly free inspirational newsletter is packed with tips and tools to help you find out. It's called One on One with Jamie and it's delivered right to your inbox each Tuesday morning. It's a love letter from me to you, from my soul to yours, and I hope it brings you the words and messages you need at just the right moment. Plus, when you're a part of my free inspirational newsletter community, you'll be the first to get behind the scenes content, inspirational messages and be the first to learn about upcoming events and more. It's the place to be and I sure hope you'll join me there. So if you're not on the list yet, you can sign up for free at jamiekernlima.com or click the link in the show notes below. And here's to becoming unstoppable together. And now more of this incredible conversation together. So with you dating, do you look for like, is there a type you have?

[B]

They have to be funny. Yeah, I have to. Humor gets me.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

If you're funny. I like that because I think that can break a lot of. That can break a. You know, I love to do a good belly laugh.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I have a good sense of humor too. So if somebody does something and they make me laugh, like a big gut laugh.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You got a real big shot with me. I love. But my husband was a comic. Jeffrey's daddy, he was a comic. If I see you on stage and you can make me laugh, I'm like, oh, man, that. So humor really is a big one.

[A]

Do you feel like it's great because you can actually just, like, exhale and let them be funny? Because you're often so funny, then you don't have to be all the time.

[B]

When I don't have to be all the time. It's kind of like a meeting of the minds. Because if you're funny, you can get, you know, I know you have your serious. But now I can't be with a man who's funny 24 7. Yeah, that would. That drives me up the wall.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, just be chill and just let it flow. People try to be funny all the time. Comics try to be funny around me all the time. I can't. I have to walk away.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So if I. If I go on a date with you and 24 7, you're funny. I'm just like, oh, this is awful.

[A]

Do you have a physical type? Like you mentioned, Jeffrey likes the Kardashians. Do you have, like a physical type you go for or one that you will not go for?

[B]

I can go for. I don't like them real tall because my ex. The last ex husband was six. Five. Six. That's too tall. Like, even. Even in bed, it is just. It's all off. Like, it's the. It's too tall. Even when you take pictures, you gotta do the camera a different way. He's cut off. Or it either looks like I'm the little girl holding his hand. It's just off, you know, I'm always looking up like this. That one like that. And I don't feel like you can protect me when you're that tall. Cause all somebody's got to do is kick you in the knees and you going down. Like you'd like a big giant that's gonna go down. So I like short guys. I do. I like short men who are compact, but they got the short man anger, which I like too, because they. You know, it's always something that's gonna set them off. Cause they short.

[A]

And you like that. I do.

[B]

I do. So I like men that probably. Let me see. I'm five one, probably five, seven, and eight. That's the cutoff right there.

[A]

You're making a whole lot of people's days right now. That's like, I've never. Okay, okay, okay.

[B]

Yeah. Give me a short. But I like a man who's healthy, who takes care of himself. So if you're like a couch potato and you want to sit around in your underwear and freaking drink beer and burp and fart, I'm not that one. Like, I'm at the gym.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm trying to take care of myself. I walk. It's not like I, you know, I don't climb mountains and go hiking and lay out in a tent out at night. But if you. But I do like going to the gym. I do like to walk. So if you're somebody who likes to take care of yourself, too, I like that.

[A]

Yeah. Are you dating now? Anyone now?

[B]

Yeah. This is what I learned. This is what I learned in all of my public marriages, public divorces, really observing social media, the moment you start putting stuff out there, everybody wants to know who. Who they are. And what I realize in putting stuff out there, they did not ask for this life. I asked for it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So it's not fair. And I also feel like there's something I would like to protect. I'm so open with everything that I talk about. I even talk about dates that I go on, but I never mention a name. But it's just like, there's gotta be something. I think people overshare so much on social media. We're so wanting everybody to see us holding hands and wearing the T shirt of I'm his and he's mine. And we gotta show people us kissing and, you know, eating together. And that's great. That's great. But I think it should be a period of date for a minute. Get to know them before you let the whole world into your life. Because the moment something happens and you're like, please respect my privacy. Please don't make any comments, I'm turning. But you've given it to us. You have open. Once you open the door in social media to people they don't forget, it will always be dredged up, even though you've healed from it.

[A]

Yeah. And I bet you get the opposite. You probably also date people that because you know, you. They know you're famous and they're like, oh, I want to be out. Like, I want to be out there. Have you ever had that happen?

[B]

It's a protective thing. I don't want people thinking that if they go on a date with me, we're now going to be posting on Instagram. And they get that. I have been. I have been hurt before like that. Like, okay, all you want to do is Go on the red carpet.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Well, all you want to do is. You want me to introduce you to Tina Fey to read your script. Oh, that has happened before. And I can. I can. I can sense it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And it really. And I go, ugh. So, yeah, I have definitely experienced that.

[A]

So you voted in this election.

[B]

I did.

[A]

How many elections have you voted in? Because I know for a while you didn't vote. Right.

[B]

Yeah. I was a Jehovah's Witness, so I didn't. I didn't vote for. I didn't start voting until I got on the View. Like, I was not into politics. Like, I really could talk about politics all day with somebody.

[A]

Yeah, that you can.

[B]

I love politics. Yes. I. Barbara Walters said something to me that made me do it. When people talk crazy to you or you feel like you fail, it really is. I feel like, don't look at it as failure. Just get back up and fix. Or course. Correct. But we need that. And for the View, I didn't know anything about politics. I never voted before. And one time Barbara Walters said to me, dear, read a book. All I knew was what the church taught me. That's what it was. I didn't think for myself. I just knew what the church had taught me or, you know, what I had learned when I was a Witness. So when she said that, she was like, read a book. And what I realized is sometimes we have to get out of where we live. We have to go travel the world. We have to meet people that are different from us. Because when you don't, that's how you get prejudice, and that's how you get judgmental. When you don't meet people that are not like you, when you meet people that. That are different from you. And I just remember that what Barbara said to me, and we were talking about something on the View, and I remember what I. What I learned. But Whoopi said, but what do you think? What do you think about that? And I was like, I don't know. So, you know, just in.

[A]

That's so powerful. I just want to. I just want to say that again because there are. There's going to be so many millions of people listening or watching this that are going to have an aha moment right now, as Oprah would call it, where they're like, wait a minute. I have learned a lot. I've been taught a lot. But wait a minute. What do I actually think? Not what does my partner think? Not what does my parents think? Not what did my teachers teach me to think. What do I. What do I actually think?

[B]

Yeah. And so now. Yeah. So you got to have Whoopi on because she's. She was just. That one hit me. What Barbara said, what Whoopi said. Joy Behar said, because I used to carry the weight of the world on me when I was doing the View. Oh, I can't let black people down. I can't let black women down. I can't let Christians down. It's a lot. That's a lot to carry. And Joy Behar said to me, sherry, the moment you open your mouth, half the world's gonna hate you. So, you know, go by what you feel and what you think.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And once I started stepping out of my comfort zone and out of where I lived in Little Hoffman Estates, Illinois, and I got to meeting people, I went, oh, you can't possibly be evil. Your heart is so beautiful. And I'm supposed to love. And how am I going to judge you for who you married when I couldn't even make two of them work. Mm. I couldn't get through two. They lasted Both total maybe six, seven years. And you have been with your partner for 21 years. Somebody doing something right.

[A]

This is a big thing that I'm excited to talk to you about because so many women, but also people. Let's just put it out there. So many people. We have all this pressure now to post on social, and then you do, and you get attacked. You say your opinion, you get attacked. Most women are raised people pleasers.

[B]

Mm.

[A]

Everyone's afraid to say what they think.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then, you know, Joy Behar shared with you, if you just open your mouth, you're gonna make half the people hate you. But life's too short to keep our mouth. Like to live with a closed mouth our whole life. Coming up. This conversation is so incredible. We made it into two episodes. And if you're someone who wants to break through fear and learn to truly trust your voice, get what you want in life, and step into your purpose, you are not going to want to miss part two with Sheri Shepherd. Coming up in the next episode of the Jamie Kern Lima Show. If you love today's episode too, my only ask is that you please click on the follow or subscribe button for the show on your app, give it a five star rating or review, and then share this episode with everyone you believe in. Share it with another person in your life who could benefit from it, post it, and share it with others online or in your community who just might need the words and tools and lessons in this episode today. You never know whose life you're meant to change today by sharing this episode. Thank you so much for joining me today. And before you go, I want to share some words with you that couldn't be more true. You, right now, exactly as you are, are enough and fully worthy. You're worthy of your greatest hopes, your wildest dreams, and all the unconditional love in the world. And it is an honor to welcome you to each and every episode of the Jamie Kern Lima show here. I hope you'll come as you are and heal where you need, blossom what you choose, journey toward your calling and stay as long as you'd like because you belong here. You are worthy, you are loved, you are love and I love you and I cannot wait to join you on the next episode of the Jamie Kern Lima Show. Do you struggle with negative self talk? Living with a constant mental narrative that you're not good enough is exhausting. I know because I spent most of my life in that habit. The words you say to yourself about yourself are so powerful and when you learn to take control over your self talk, it's life changing and I wanted to give you a free resource that I created for you if this is something that could benefit your Life. It's called 5 Ways to Overcome Negative Self Talk and Build self Love. And it's a free how to guide to overcome that negative self talk to build confidence and develop unshakable self love so that you can can dream big and keep going in the pursuit of your goals. Don't let self sabotaging thoughts hinder your progress any longer. It's time to rewrite the script of your life, one filled with self love, resilience and unwavering belief. If you're ready to take charge of your narrative, build unwavering confidence and empower yourself to persevere on the path to your dreams. You can grab your free guide to Stop Overthinking and learn to Trust yourself at jamiekernlima.com resources or click the link in the show notes below. Who you spend time around is so important as energy is contagious and so is self belief. And I'd love to hang out with you even more, especially if you could use an extra dose of inspiration. Which is exactly why I've created my free weekly newsletter that's also a love letter to you delivered straight to your inbox from me. If you haven't signed up to make sure that you get it each week, just go to jamiecarnlima.com to make sure you're on the list and you'll get your one on one with Jamie weekly newsletter and get ready to believe in you. If you're tired of hearing the bad news every single day and need some inspiration, some tips, tools, joy and love hitting your inbox. I'm your girl. [e-mail] or in the link in the.

[B]

Show Notes I am so excited for this book. You know why? Because it's going to save so many people. It's gonna save them Were the your new beautiful book Worthy? Get this book. This book. I'm telling you. It's a book that can change anybody's life who picks it up. Anybody who's ever felt that they were not good enough didn't measure up. Something's missing in your life. I have to tell you. It's powerful. It's happening. It's Worthy.

[A]

Imagine what would you do if you fully believed in you. I went from struggling waitress facing nonstop rejection to founder of IT Cosmetics, a billion dollar company by learning how to overcome self doubt and believe I'm worthy of my hopes and dreams. And I'm sharing how you can too in my new book, how to believe you are enough and transform your life. If you're ready to truly trust yourself and break through that barrier of self doubt and know that you where you come from or even where you are right now doesn't determine where you're going, then Worthy is for you. It's time to go from doubting you're enough to knowing you're enough. It's time to step into all of who you are and into the person you were born to be. And it's time to believe that you are worthy of it. Because in life we don't become what we want, we become what we believe we're worthy of. Join the Worthy movement today by grabbing your copy of Worthy Anywhere books are sold. Then head to worthybook.com now for free gifts including my five part course on becoming unstoppable and my 95 page worthy workbook action plan that teaches you how to implement the tools from the book into your real life. Right now. Worthy is groundbreaking. Yo Worthy.

[B]

You are Worthy. This book is going to change lives.

[A]

This book literally will teach you how to actually feel worthy so that you can have the strength, you can have the confidence. The lessons in this book and the strategies will change your life. You will never be the same again after you read this book.

[B]

Jamie's book Worthy is a must read. It is going to inspire you, empower you, give you the hope that you need and the kick in the rear end that you deserve. Jamie's book Worthy is incredible.

[A]

The gifts are going away, but they're all free right now on worthybook.com it's such an honor to share this podcast together with you. And please note, I'm not a licensed therapist, and this podcast is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional.