← The Jamie Kern Lima Show
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Melinda French Gates Reveals All (Pt 2): Life-Changing Lessons on Igniting Your Courage, Hearing Your Intuition & Taking Your Power Back
00:40:50
Loading summary
Transcript74 lines
- [00:01]
Jamie Kern Lima
You describe how your inner voice had faded. You say, in the decade or so before my marriage fell apart, therapy made it possible for you to respond to betrayals in your marriage without betraying yourself in return.
- [00:18]
Melinda French Gates
It is hard, right? Really hard. And it's hard for everyone involved, including the kids. I felt like we had agreed on our values as a couple going into the marriage, but I got to a point where I didn't feel like I could be fully integrated and live those values in the marriage. Because there comes a point at which to be true to yourself, you have to do what's right, even though you may not want to.
- [00:56]
Jamie Kern Lima
Melinda. Melinda. French games. How are you? Can I hug you?
- [01:01]
Melinda French Gates
Been to Denny's? Many times.
- [01:03]
Jamie Kern Lima
Have you been to Denny's?
- [01:04]
Melinda French Gates
Yes, for a long time. But when they were little, they loved Denny's.
- [01:07]
Jamie Kern Lima
Did they really?
- [01:08]
Unknown
Oh, yeah.
- [01:08]
Melinda French Gates
The pancakes.
- [01:09]
Jamie Kern Lima
The pancakes, yeah.
- [01:11]
Unknown
Coming up in this incredible Part two.
- [01:13]
Jamie Kern Lima
Episode with Melinda French Gates. She's opening up like never before. You started having dreams of a crumbling foundation.
- [01:23]
Melinda French Gates
I had this dream that I was on a cliff and my ex husband Bill and the kids were also on the edge of the cliff. But my part of the cliff crumbled away and I was dropping down into a pit and they were still on the edge of this cliff together. And I knew, oh, this means I need to separate and do something else. I need to figure this out. And I'm going to be alone in figuring this out and sharing life changing.
- [01:49]
Jamie Kern Lima
Life changing lessons on igniting your courage. Panic attacks. So many of us have them and a lot of us think we're alone in them or we don't share them.
- [01:58]
Melinda French Gates
I think more people have them than we realize. I had read about them and I remember being skeptical, like, is that a real thing? Like, what is that? You know, I've been anxious before, but when you have one, it's so terrifying, just terrifying. At least for me. The whole world falls away and you are just by yourself and just literally that. Like deer in the headlights, like you can't sweaty palms, can't think, your heart is racing. And so I think they're really important to talk about because we can also help one another and coach one another through them. Finally, your body just stops you dead in your tracks and says, this is not right and you know it.
- [02:41]
Jamie Kern Lima
Yeah. Do you have them now?
- [02:44]
Unknown
Trusting your faith?
- [02:47]
Melinda French Gates
There were times I sort of moved away from faith. There's a beautiful. At the end of the musical Les Miserables, they say, to love another person is to see the face of God.
- [03:01]
Jamie Kern Lima
How do you reconcile that and practice faith and also be so passionate about some of the things you believe so strongly in that maybe some people in a particular religion don't.
- [03:14]
Melinda French Gates
And so talk about an incongruency, right? And I had to really then reckon with my faith. And I just realized, wow, I need to actually unlearn some of these things because I can't square the circle.
- [03:26]
Jamie Kern Lima
Do you know for sure God exists?
- [03:29]
Unknown
Hearing your intuition, you have to trust.
- [03:34]
Melinda French Gates
You have to trust that something's moving.
- [03:36]
Unknown
Through you and take. Taking your power back.
- [03:40]
Melinda French Gates
I certainly have had times in my life where I didn't think I was worthy. I would sit at the front of the table and think, am I worthy to be here and worthy to be the one at the head of the table asking the questions, making the decisions about resources? I know there were times where people were rolling their eyes like, you know, okay, that question she asked, that one wasn't a very good one, right? And I had to learn that no my voice mattered. And sometimes the question I asked turned out to be exactly the right question.
- [04:14]
Jamie Kern Lima
I am so excited for you, for me, for women everywhere right now, because this conversation is just that incredible. I'm literally jumping out of my chair right now. Melinda French Gates is a philanthropist, businesswoman, and global advocate for women and girls. She's the founder of Pivotal Ventures, focused on accelerating social progress by removing barriers that hold people back. She also co founded the Gates foundation.
- [04:46]
Unknown
Alongside her former husband, Bill Gates. Melinda's brand new book, the Next Day.
- [04:54]
Jamie Kern Lima
Transitions, Change and Moving Forward Forward is out now. Make sure you pick up your copy right now. It is so good. And whether today you're listening for yourself or because someone that you love shared this episode with you, I want to welcome you to the Jamie Carlima show podcast family. Thank you so much for being here. And can you take two seconds and do me a favor, Please hit the subscribe or follow button on the app that you're listening or watching on. Thank you so, so much. It truly means so much to me and the team that works so hard to bring you this show. Also this episode. It's not just for you and me. Please share this with every single person that you know, because what you're about to hear can truly impact and change your life and theirs.
- [05:40]
Melinda French Gates
Jamie Kern Lima is her name. Everybody needs Jamie Kern Lima in their life. Jamie Kern Lima.
- [05:49]
Jamie Kern Lima
Jamie Garcia.
- [05:50]
Melinda French Gates
So inspiring.
- [05:50]
Jamie Kern Lima
Jamie Kern Lima. One of my favorite parts of the next day was I felt like I. I felt like I was right by your side in some ways in. In your Childhood, even seeing how, you know, you were raised. I used to type on a typewriter and, and you talk about the 15 pound typewriter that, that you were gifted, you talk about your parents, you talk about being raised Catholic. And so I'm curious now today, how would you say the role of faith, what's that role of faith in your life right now? How has it evolved?
- [06:28]
Melinda French Gates
It's fundamental in my life still. And I will certainly say there were times I sort of moved away from faith, but then I always, thank goodness, came back to it. Like one of them was in college, right. I actually tried several different faith traditions. I remember calling my mom and she was just like, oh, you're doing what? You know. But then I came back to my roots. I'm less now about a structured religion because I realize that religions all have man made rules that are part of them. Right. But they're all pointing to the same thing, which is a belief in spirituality or a goodness in the universe or maybe a God in some cases. And so for me, the spiritual peace is just absolutely grounding in my life. And I still, I go to church some, I'm still Catholic, I go to church some, not nearly as often as when I was growing up. But I'm also, maybe even more importantly in these two spiritual groups that are both non denominational. One I've been with for 20 years, another one's kind of the last five years. And we are reading the same things by spiritual teachers over, you know, who taught for centuries sometimes, or somebody who's more current, and then we're sharing ideas about what we're learning through our faith and spirituality. I still go on a silent retreat once a year. In fact, I'll go in May with my group that I've been with for 20 years. We'll go on silent retreat. We met yesterday to prepare for that. Cause it's a journey to go, to go on silent retreat. I would say it's fundamental. And then the other thing I would say, and you alluded to this in your own life, which is again, when you have doubt and in those times you need to lean in or lean forward, just remembering there's something much bigger than you and there must be some reason you're here. You have no idea how you got placed in this position, right? I have no idea how I, you know, the sequence of events that led up to other things in my life. It's just, it's hard to put it together. But when you can remember there's something much bigger and you can trust that at least for me. I know. I just. I sink into it and I just. I calm down.
- [08:43]
Unknown
Yeah.
- [08:43]
Jamie Kern Lima
Do you ever. Do you know for sure God exists?
- [08:47]
Melinda French Gates
Yes, absolutely. Absolutely. And there's a beautiful. At the end of the musical Les Miserables, they say to love another person is to see the face of God. And so I've also come to learn that God is also amongst us and in our relations and in our relationships, too. And that I can look for that and you see where you make some of those connections. But what I encourage people to do who've grown up, if you're lucky enough to have grown up in a faith tradition. Cause I do think that's lucky. It means you had some values and moral structure. It may not have all been right. It may have put some things on you you wish you didn't have. But I really encourage people to go back and look at that faith and learn about it. Where did it come from? What are the origins? How did it come into being? Where did it change over time? Like, I grew up in the Roman Catholic Church, but there's a Celtic version of the Catholic Church that is actually even closer to what I believe, it turns out. And so just learning your own history. So you can decide what you believe now. But practicing your faith is also really important. And so this is why I have these two groups. They're almost like accountability measures. We are for one another. And then I also believe in faith in action. So part of the work I do in the world is putting what I believe to be true in my faith. And all the things that I've learned through this unusual path I've had in life, that I couldn't have added it all up. I put that faith into action, and hopefully I'm creating positive change in the world.
- [10:30]
Jamie Kern Lima
When you talk about organized religion, for me, my journey. I'm curious your thoughts on this is because you're very active with women's rights and politically. All the things. All the things. I think some people are scared to even consider faith. Cause they feel they might be judged or. Or they feel like, oh, well, you know, I believe these things, but then I don't know if I can practice a faith because I've always, as you said, the man made rules. How do you sort of, in your own spirit and soul, go, okay, I feel this about my faith. And there might be parts of it, whether they're in writing or not, that doesn't feel true to me. How do you navigate that? Because I think a lot of people don't have faith in their life anymore, or they feel like there's so many rules that maybe feel incongruent with their soul. How do you reconcile that and practice faith and also be so passionate about some of the things you believe so strongly in that maybe some people in a particular religion don't?
- [11:36]
Melinda French Gates
Yeah, I love your word incongruent, because we know certain things. We just. There's an inner knowing about things. And for me, I'll say, as I was traveling the world more and more, I was so lucky on behalf of the foundation, I got to travel. But, you know, I was out in low income countries three, sometimes four times a year all over the world. And I was learning from these men and women in villages about their lives. And they would talk about children. And both the men and the women knew that when they could space the births of those children, they were better off. Or if they could limit, let's say they could limit and decide they were only gonna have three or four instead of six or seven. They knew they could then feed their kids, their kids could go to school. They had a chance, those kids, of maybe growing up and, you know, living their dreams. And so. But if you. I would go in these villages and I would ask people. I literally was in a village. I remember one time, and we all gathered under a tree. There were about 150 people. And I said, how many of you know somebody that. A woman that has died in childbirth and the number of hands that went up was astounding. And then I said, how many of you know of a baby that's been lost in childbirth? And like, even more hands went up. And this was a group where they knew about contraceptives but didn't have access. The world had backed away. After the 1970s, we used to make sure that people had access to contraceptives, not for all the right reasons, but the world had backed away. And as I learned the difference, and that child was lost because the mom had them too close together. She didn't mean to, but all of a sudden the next one came and boom, she lost that baby prematurely because the birth was too quick and her body wasn't ready. I started to realize I believe in life. I believe in these children's lives, the worthiness of them, the inherent beauty on the day they're born. But because of a man made rule in the church that I'm in, the Catholic Church, we're not allowing women to have access to contraceptives. And so talk about an incongruency, right? And I had to really then reckon with My faith. I brought in some Notre Dame scholars to teach me. I learned the history, how the Catholic Church had gotten there, why they'd gotten there. I started to learn from a very liberal Jesuit priest, listening to his lectures and his teachings and his books, Richard Rohr. And I just realized, wow, I need to actually unlearn some of these things because I can't square the circle. I believe in the dignity of life, and yet we're losing more children because of this. We won't allow this tool to be given to women. And it really was almost a crisis of faith, but I was able to eventually reconcile them and say, no, no, this is what I believe and I know to be true, and I am going to speak the truth in the world. And that took, again, a lot of courage and a lot of leaning forward, but, boy, did it feel right to give voice to what these families and these women were telling me. Like, if I had the privilege of being there and them sharing their lives with me, I felt given my position at the Foundation, I had a responsibility to go voice that and do something about it on the world stage. And it became. It animated my life.
- [15:05]
Jamie Kern Lima
I love something you just said, that we all have a knowing. Like, we all have a knowing and know the truth. And, you know, I believe in God. I pray almost every day, all the things. And in my knowing, I just. Melinda, how I feel, like, how I live my life. And I want to share this because I think something you shared is so powerful, and. And just for anybody listening or watching us right now, who is maybe in that incongruent place, they're like, well, I kind of feel like I want, you know, to explore faith in my life, but I just can't get over that. That rule or that judgment or whatever. It's that knowing. It's asking yourself what feels true. Like, what feels true to me. And everyone can do that. It's free once we get good at it, right? And I remember, you know, I've gotten, you know, pushback from on my show for having people that, you know, that maybe love differently or vote differently or identify differently. And I just. Every time how I feel is when I ask my knowing my soul, I feel like if Jesus were here right now, he would love you no matter what, no matter how you identify or how you vote or how you. And that's what I believe. That's what I feel is true. So that's how I try to then live my life. And it's just. I want to share that, because when you shared that, so Beautifully, I think for me, I think that's the powerful thing for people to do. And a lot of people actually haven't considered that. Well, maybe I can approach faith in a way that I take the parts that feel true and feel right and feel like they're true for me. And every person can do that. Okay, I wanna talk about lessons and trusting yourself and your inner voice, which, you know, I could talk about. I could talk to you for 24 hours about the next day, which is why everyone needs to go pick it up right now. It is so good. And I love what you shared earlier that in your life you've been inspired by other people sharing their stories or saying this is how I got through this or this is what I did there and you have friends that have shown up for you that way. And the next day you describe how your inner voice has had faded and you say, in the decade or so before my marriage fell apart, you write that therapy made it possible for you to respond to betrayals in your marriage without betraying yourself in return.
- [17:25]
Melinda French Gates
First of all, the only reason I even include a chapter about that time in my life in the book is.
- [17:31]
Jamie Kern Lima
Because we need to pause for a super brief break. And while we do, take a moment and share this episode with every single person that you know. Maybe they're going through a transition in their life in some way, who this episode could inspire. Because this conversation can can truly not just impact our lives, but theirs too.
- [17:49]
Unknown
In life you don't soar to the level of your hopes and dreams. You stay stuck at the level of your self worth. When you build your self worth, you change your entire life. And that's exactly why I wrote my new book Worthy how to believe you are enough and transform your life for you. If you have some self doubt to destroy and a destiny to fulfill, Worthy is for you. In Worthy you'll learn proven tools and simple steps that bring life changing results. Like how to get unstuck from the things holding you back, build unshakable self love, unlearn the lies that lead to self doubt and embrace the truths that wake up worthiness, overcome limiting beliefs and imposter syndrome. Achieve your hopes and dreams by believing you are worthy of them and so much more. Are you ready to unleash your greatness and step into the person you were born to be? Imagine a life with zero self doubt and unshakable self worth. Get your copy of Worthy plus some amazing thank you bonus gifts for you@worthybook.com or the link in the show notes below. Imagine what you do if you fully believed in you. It's time to find out with worthy Imagine what would you do if you fully believed in you? My weekly free inspirational newsletter is packed with tips and tools to help you find out. It's called One on One with Jamie and it's delivered right to your inbox each Tuesday morning. It's a love letter from me to you, from my soul to yours, and I hope it brings you the words and messages you need at just the right moment. Plus, when you're a part of my free inspirational newsletter community, you'll be the first to get behind the scenes content, inspirational messages and be the first to learn about upcoming events and more. It's the place to be and I sure hope you'll join me there. So if you're not on the list yet, you can sign up for free at jamiekernlima.com or click the link in the show Notes below. And here's to becoming unstoppable together.
- [20:19]
Jamie Kern Lima
And now more of this incredible conversation together. You say. In the decade or so before my marriage fell apart, you write that therapy made it possible for you to respond to betrayals in your marriage without betraying yourself in return.
- [20:38]
Melinda French Gates
First of all, the only reason I even include a chapter about that time in my life in the book is because people know I went through a divorce and it would be incongruous if I didn't put it in. It would be disingenuous. And as you said, so many people unfortunately go through it and it is hard. Hard, right? Really hard. And it's hard for everyone involved, including the kids. Including and for sure the kids. So I included it for that reason. I again, to use your word, or to use a different word, I didn't feel like I could I got to a point in my marriage where I felt like I absolutely knew what my values were. I felt like we had agreed on our values as a couple going into the marriage. But I got to a point where I didn't feel like I could be fully integrated and live those values in the marriage because of some things going on around me that I had previously not been aware of. And there comes a point at which to be true to yourself, you have to do what's right, even though you may not want to. Right? Like, and I talk in the book that I was afraid to call my parents. Like, you know, what are they going to think? I feel terrible. You know, it's not what I dreamt of on the day I got married, but in the end of the day, like I do think often about, and I have for a long time, I write about in the book my friend John Nielsen, who died in his 30s. It's got me from a young age in my 30s, because that's how old I was when he passed away too. To think about, what do you want the last day to look like and work back backwards in your life from there? And for me, the last day is, you know, was I loved by my family and friends? Did they know I love them? Do I know that they loved me? Did I do meaningful work in the world and was I true to myself? Right? I mean, only we're going to answer for ourselves on the last day. Not your children, not your spouse, not your mother, not your father. We are responsible for ourselves. And so if I couldn't be true to myself and be an integrated whole person, then I need to look at that relationship I was in and say, it's not working anymore. I've done my best. I've given everything. I've done a lot of work on it. I've done a lot of forgiveness. But at some point, only I answer for myself.
- [23:07]
Jamie Kern Lima
With transitions that happen in our lives, and especially the ones we weren't planning, a lot of times we, you know, sometimes our default will go to, like, is something wrong with me? Or, you know, maybe someone just lost their job or the friendship group didn't invite them to the thing. Or just like, things are changing, right? Over half of us will experience divorce. There's so many transitions. And I love the book where you talk about, you know, how many different transitions you've gone through. I'm going through one right now where my kids are now in school. And so, like, that's a. I'm like, wait, I haven't had a schedule. I haven't had to answer to anyone else in a lot. Like, just things like that.
- [23:45]
Unknown
Right?
- [23:46]
Jamie Kern Lima
So we are all go through these different transitions and sometimes when they're ones that we didn't foresee, we can feel like, is something wrong with us or are we unworthy? Or, you know, did you ever experience that?
- [23:59]
Melinda French Gates
I certainly have had times in my life where I didn't think I was worthy when I transitioned into being a co founder of the foundation. But then I talk about in the book, you know, all of a sudden it was unbelievable that Warren Buffett was going to take the assets from Berkshire Hathaway and put them into our foundation. Like, what an amazing gift. What an amazing gift. But it catapulted the foundation where we were growing it like this. But all of a sudden, the growth in the foundation and the public exposure was exponential. And so to sit then at the head of the table at the foundation, where you're having a meeting with 30 people around the table, and they're some of the top scientists in tuberculosis and the top scientists in malaria and the top scientist in maternal mortality. I don't have a background in medicine. I don't have a background in global health. My background is in computer science. And so I would sit at the front of the table and think, am I worthy to be here and worthy to be the one at the head of the table asking the questions, making the decisions about resources? And I had to really grow into that role. And I feel like there were times, I don't feel. I know there were times where people were rolling their eyes, like, you know, okay, that question she asked, that one wasn't a very good one, right. And I had to learn that no my voice mattered. And sometimes the question I asked turned out to be exactly the right question. And that would give me courage. Then the next time, I'll give you an example. We were out in Southeast Asia. My ex husband and I work traveling with a group of scientists. We were going around and learning about tuberculosis in a village, in several villages. And we'd done these site visits. They'd lasted more than half the day. We're kind of all about ready to go. But the woman, one of the women we talked to earlier was there, but no one was talking to her. And so I just went over and talked to her. The scientists were still talking, and then they kind of started to come in. And then I said to her, everybody's kind of ready to go. And I said to her, well, could you show me. We've talked to you about your experience with tuberculosis in your family and what's happened, but could you show me the actual pill packet? And you could see all the scientists just like, kind of rolling their eyes, like, what a. You know, why would you ask that question? Who cares what the pill packet looks like? She brought it out and everybody was shocked, including me, the number of pills in this pill packet. And we started looking at it and realizing that the manufacturer was putting all these places, placebo pills in the packaging in this particular country. And there really was only one pill in there per day that made a difference, not the other eight in the packet for that day, too. So here's this poor woman and her family. These are hard pills to take. You need food. And it literally got us advocating to the government Saying you've got the wrong manufacturer for this thing. Like, do you know what they're doing with your government money? Even while all the scientists sort of thought it was a not very great question, and I felt unworthy, actually, in the moment, it turned out to be exactly the right question. So you have to trust. You have to trust that something's moving through you.
- [27:25]
Unknown
Yeah, yeah.
- [27:27]
Jamie Kern Lima
Which I think for so many people, maybe they're at the infancy of that journey, or it'll be, you know, a lifelong journey. But that's beautiful.
- [27:35]
Melinda French Gates
And that's what I say to people. You actually have to practice these transitions. Right. Like, when you're in them. I talk about in the book, don't rush from one thing if you can help it to the next. Like, yes, stop and learn the lessons in between. Because that's where the beauty happens and the growth and eventually the resilience. And the more you go through one transition, the easier the next one will be, and the next one and the next one. And you just. You have to trust. There's a parable called the parable of the trapeze, where, you know, a trapeze artist is swinging on a trapeze, and they've got both hands, but then they're going to go and get the next bar. Well, as that other bar is coming towards them and they're let going of this one, they have to trust that they've got the timing right to grab the next bar. Right. There's a huge piece of trust there as they're flying through the air, and it could be terrifying, it could be exhilarating. But the more they practice that, the more they're gonna land that move, and the better off they're gonna be at it.
- [28:38]
Jamie Kern Lima
I love that. I love that in the book. That was actually a big takeaway for me because I will rush through things. And sometimes, you know, when something doesn't go our way, we do not wanna feel that for long. You know what I mean? So we're like, oh, to the next thing. And you talk about that. The power of making sure you create enough space to learn the lesson or to heal or to. Or to process all of it. In the book, one thing that you share in the next day, I just have to say this, Melinda. I have written two books, and anytime I am on someone's show and they actually read the book and they actually, like, I'm so grateful. And I just want to say this because it's so important, you know, that the book is out right now and everyone can go get their copy and on both audio. And also I love doing both at the same time. Reading the physical copy.
- [29:31]
Melinda French Gates
Me too.
- [29:32]
Jamie Kern Lima
And listening, you know, I love both because I feel like I'm able to just like, take everything in. One of the things that you share in the book so vulnerably is about panic attacks. And so many of us have them and a lot of us think we're alone in them or we don't share them. You talk about, I think first in 2006 with a hot air balloon ride, and then I think it was your 20th wedding anniversary.
- [29:58]
Melinda French Gates
I think more people have them than we realize. I had read about them and I remember being skeptical, like, is that a real thing? Like, what is that? You know, I've been anxious before, but when you have one, it is, at least for me, the whole world falls away and you are just by yourself and just literally that, like deer in the headlights, like, you can't sweaty palms, can't think, your heart is racing. And so I think they're really important to talk about because we can also help one another and coach one another through them. So one of my youngest daughter, one of her friends had one. We were going to get on a plane situation and I was able to coach her through it. And it felt good for her and for me at the time. And then I had an adult female friend who had one in the last six months and called me. And thank God she called me. I could hear it in her voice. And she didn't even quite know what was happening. But I could ask her, what are the circumstances? What was being asked of you? What were you thinking you were going to do? And I could see that the person that was calling her to pull her to do something was doing something for their own interest, not hers. And every single thing in her body was telling her not to do it, but she felt guilt. She felt reasons that she should go. Like, that person was quite good at manipulating her, right? And so I was able to talk down enough that she could calm herself, we could talk later. She didn't end up going and doing the thing the person asked her to do. And thank God she did not.
- [31:37]
Jamie Kern Lima
Do you think that when we have a panic attack, it's our body telling us like, something's not right or something's incongruent?
- [31:43]
Melinda French Gates
And I think it's been giving you a lot more signals before it gets to the attack? And we just keep not listening to them. We just keep pushing them down and acting like they're not there or not attuning to them. And finally your body just stops you dead in your tracks and says, this is not right. And you know it.
- [31:58]
Unknown
Yeah.
- [31:59]
Jamie Kern Lima
Do you have them now or when's the last one?
- [32:02]
Melinda French Gates
I have not had one recently. Not in the last four years.
- [32:07]
Jamie Kern Lima
Yeah, I haven't. So I had my first one actually on my honeymoon. And I'm like, what is this trying to tell me? Although what's funny is we wrote the business plan for our company on our honeymoon. So I'm like, maybe I was like about to enter a whole. I don't know what it was, but that was my first time ever. And I couldn't even. I was similar to you where I'd heard of. Of course I knew what they were, but I didn't understand. And then when you have. When you have one, oh, my gosh. For me, I felt like I was gonna die.
- [32:35]
Melinda French Gates
Yes.
- [32:35]
Jamie Kern Lima
Like, it's so scary.
- [32:36]
Melinda French Gates
It's so terrifying. Yeah, just terrifying. And I think that's why we need to not only talk about them and give people tools, but we need to say when it's happened to us. Because I think people look out and say, oh, well, it couldn't have happened to her or him. You know, they're so confident. No, they can happen to anybody. And again, it has to do with, are you living that? You know, are you being in touch with your body and the messages it's giving you? Are you living a fully integrated life?
- [33:04]
Jamie Kern Lima
Well, you talk about too, that we can, like, we can have signs coming from us from all different areas and page 77 of the next day. Page 77. I told you. Oh, my gosh. I studied every word. It's so good. It's so good. Congratulations. You can probably sense my excitement because when I get excited, it's when I know something's gonna really matter and when it's gonna impact so many people, but especially, especially women. So page 77 of the next day, you share. You talk about the dreams you started having. You say an article had come out suggesting your ex husband not only went against the marriage, but also your values. And you started having dreams of a crumbling foundation. Can you share about those dreams? Because a lot of people wonder, are they seeing a sign or is it just a coincidence?
- [33:54]
Melinda French Gates
Or for me, not for everybody, because I know some people that say they don't dream or they dream very little. But for me, I have a very rich dream life and have for a long time and have tried to understand my dreams. Some dreams will take me years to understand, but if they're recurring I know I need to pay attention to them. Anyway, this dream, as I say in the book, doesn't really take Freud to figure it out. Which was, you know, I after those articles, the thing things had come out publicly. I had this dream that I was on a cliff and my ex husband Bill and the kids were also on the edge of the cliff but my part of the cliff crumbled away and I was dropping down into a pit and they were still on the edge of this cliff together and they were safe. So I wasn't worried about my children. But I knew when I woke up, oh, this means I need to separate and do something else. I need to figure this out and I'm going to be alone in figuring this out.
- [34:54]
Jamie Kern Lima
This conversation is so incredible and made it into more than one part. And if you are ready to hear your intuition and inner voice and learn how to finally trust it, you are not going to want to miss this Incredible Final Part 3 of this conversation with Melinda French Gates. Coming up in the next episode of the Jamie Kern Lima Show. Remember, this episode's not just for you and me. Please share this with every single person that you know because it can impact and change their life too. And if you love today's episode, please click on the Follow or subscribe button for the show on the app and give it a five star rating or review. And again, please share it with everyone that you believe in. Share it with another person in your life who could benefit from it. Maybe someone you know is making a change in their career or marriage or health. Please post the episode and share it with others online or in your community who just might need the words and tools and lessons in this episode today. You never know whose life you're meant to change today by sharing this episode. And thank you so much for joining me today. Before you go, I want to share some words with you that couldn't be more true. You right now, exactly as you are, are enough and fully worthy. You're worthy of your greatest hopes, your wildest dreams and all the unconditional love in the world. And it is an honor to welcome you to each and every episode of the Jamie Carn Lima show here. I hope you'll come as you are, heal where you need, blossom what you choose, journey toward your calling and stay as long as you'd like because you belong here. You are worthy. You are loved.
- [36:42]
Unknown
You are love.
- [36:43]
Jamie Kern Lima
I love you and I cannot wait to join you on the next episode of the Jamie Kern Lima Show.
- [36:50]
Unknown
Do you struggle with negative self self talk living with a constant mental narrative that you're not good enough is exhausting. I know because I spent most of.
- [37:02]
Jamie Kern Lima
My life in that habit.
- [37:04]
Unknown
The words you say to yourself about yourself are so powerful and when you learn to take control over your self talk, it's life changing and I wanted to give you a free resource that I created for you if this is something that could benefit your Life. It's called 5 Ways to Overcome Negative Self Talk and Build Self Love and it's a free how to guide to overcome that negative self talk to build confidence and develop unshakable self love so that you can dream big and keep going in the pursuit of your goals. Don't let self sabotaging thoughts hinder your progress any longer. It's time to rewrite the script script of your life, one filled with self love, resilience and unwavering belief. If you're ready to take charge of your narrative, build unwavering confidence and empower yourself to persevere on the path to your dreams. You can grab your free guide to stop overthinking and learn to Trust yourself at jamiekernlima.com resources or click the link in the show notes below. Who you spend time around is so important as energy is contagious and so is self belief. And I'd love to hang out with you even more, especially if you could use an extra dose of inspiration.
- [38:29]
Jamie Kern Lima
Which is exactly why I've created my.
- [38:31]
Unknown
Free weekly newsletter that's also a love letter to you delivered straight to your inbox from me. If you haven't signed up to make sure that you get it each week, just go to jamiecarnlima.com to make sure you're on the list and you'll get your one on one with Jamie weekly newsletter and get ready to believe in you. If you're tired of hearing the bad news every single day and need some inspiration, some tips, tools, joy and love hitting your inbox. I'm your girl. Subscribe@jamiekernlima.com or in the link in the show notes. In life you don't soar to the level of your hopes and dreams. You stay stuck at the level of your self worth. When you build your self worth, you change your entire life. And that's exactly why I wrote my new book Worthy how to believe you are enough and transform your life for you. If you have some self doubt to destroy and a destiny to fulfill, Worthy is for you. In Worthy you'll learn proven tools and simple steps that bring life changing results like how to get unstuck from the things holding you back. Build unshakable self love. Unlearn the lies that lead to self doubt and embrace the truths that wake up worthiness. Overcome limiting beliefs and imposter syndrome. Achieve your hopes and dreams by believing you are worthy of them and so much more. Are you ready to unleash your greatness and step into the person you were born to be? Imagine a life with zero self doubt and unshakable self worth. Get your copy of Worthy plus some amazing thank you bonus gifts for you@worthybook.com or the link in the show notes below. Imagine what you do if you fully believed in you. It's time to find out with Worthy. It's such an honor to share this podcast together with you. And please note, I'm not a licensed therapist and this podcast is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional.