Monica Lewinsky Reveals All: Life-Changing Lessons on Reclaiming Your Story, Your Power & Your Life! It’s Never Too Late!

Summary

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The Jamie Kern Lima Show

Episode: Monica Lewinsky Reveals All: Life-Changing Lessons on Reclaiming Your Story, Your Power & Your Life! It’s Never Too Late!
Date: March 10, 2026
Host: Jamie Kern Lima
Guest: Monica Lewinsky

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Episode Overview

In this powerful episode, Jamie Kern Lima invites Monica Lewinsky to share her extraordinary journey of reclaiming her story and self-worth following one of the most public episodes of vilification and shame in modern history. Together, they unpack the long-term effects of public shaming, the collective trauma of having one’s narrative stolen, and the ongoing process of healing and self-acceptance. Monica’s candid reflections provide inspiration and actionable insights for anyone seeking to reclaim their own power, regardless of their past.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Scale and Weight of Public Shaming

• Monica’s Experience of Collective Scorn
  Monica describes the aftermath of the scandal that made her a household name, drawing parallels between her treatment and historical witch-hunts:

  "You know, the same way that there were women tied to a post and burned at a stake and called a witch. ... it was not a physical burning, but a public burning, but an emotional burning." (00:24–01:04, 24:31)

• Loss of Identity
  Monica likens the effect of public ridicule and narrative theft to plucking out her feathers, stripping her identity:

  "If you think of a bird with feathers and you imagine pulling a feather off the bird and each feather was like a piece of me and instead what was being replaced ... were different feathers that other people ... wanted to see me and to define me." (22:00, 24:42)

2. Surviving Trauma and the Role of Family

• Family’s Support as Lifeline
  Monica credits her survival to the steadfast presence and protection of her family during her darkest days:

  "If it hadn't been for my friends and my family, I think over the course of that year, who continued to kind of remind me of my true self, I just, I would have been so lost. Lost into the sea and the abyss of just the anger and the hate and the vitriol..." (22:00, 32:00)

• Mom’s Vigilance
  Monica shared the harrowing vigilance her family exercised to protect her mental health:

  "My parents ... wouldn't let you even shower with the door closed ... the first night ... my mom ... just ... coming and saying, you know, Monka, you have to leave the door open. And I understood, and I understood why." (31:36–32:32)

3. The Unbearable Long Echo of Scandal

• The Lewinsky Scandal: Name, Identity, and Stigma
  Both Jamie and Monica emphasize that the scandal and its naming cemented Monica's identity in the public consciousness:

  "It wasn't called the Clinton scandal. It was called the Lewinsky scandal. ... it cemented my name in people's memories more." (01:15, 26:39)

• Collective Responsibility and Participation
  Monica points out that the public rarely follows up on the long-term consequences faced by people caught in the headlines:

  "Once the headlines go away, we rarely think about that person again and sort of what the long tail of their experience has been, how that can impact moving forward or not being able to move forward." (46:55)

4. The Struggle for Normalcy and Acceptance

• Aftermath: Isolation, Loss, and Joblessness
  Monica recounts the difficulty of resuming a normal life, despite her academic achievements:

  "You get your master's degree, London School of Economics ... you go on 50 interviews, and no one will hire you." (46:29–50:51)
  "I thought about [changing my name]. ... But ultimately, ... I shouldn't have to change my name ... I wasn't ashamed of who I was as a person." (51:07–52:41)

• Gendered Nature of Shame
  Monica challenges the expectation that women must bear the cloak of shame:

  "No one's ever asked Bill Clinton to change his name. ... I've never heard a man who's been through a scandal being asked, you know, and that is part of the, you know, cloak of shame that women are expected to wear." (52:52)

5. Healing, Growth, and Reclaiming Power

• The “Dark Decade”
  Monica reflects on the decade following the scandal, marked by feelings of stasis, hopelessness, and failed attempts at building a new life:

  "I call it my dark decade. ... trying to move forward and yet feeling like I was both frozen in amber and stuck in molasses and in quicksand." (55:48–56:09)

• Desire for Purpose and Healing
  Facing her 40s, Monica grieved for dreams deferred—marriage, children, a fulfilling career—and describes the financial and emotional obstacles to single motherhood:

  "I always wanted to have kids ... I froze my eggs at 37, I froze embryos at 37, but it just, you know, it just wasn't an option ... I didn't have any financial stability." (59:53–60:29)

• Therapeutic Pathways: Energy, Sound, and EFT
  Monica explains her journey through traditional and innovative healing modalities:

  • 10 years of standard psychotherapy
  • EMDR for trauma
  • Sound-based energy and resonance work
  • Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT/tapping)

  "It was really when I started doing the energetic work and the resonance work, that started to shift everything, really. ... I know I would not be where I am today without having done all of that work." (65:05–66:38)

• Resilience and Blessings Found in Disappointment

  "All those disappointments became blessings. ... When you're in it, it is so hard. But I think ... the hopeful bits ... get stored somewhere in us ... and they may just come peek out and whisper in some of the darkest moments." (70:08–71:18)

6. The Power of Reclaiming Your Story

• Monica’s account is a universal call for all to examine and reclaim their own identity and life narrative, regardless of setbacks or public or private shame.
• Jamie emphasizes the collective relevance:

  "Every person at home actually going, wait a minute. ... what parts of my own story have I ... maybe they're still stuck in that part where someone plucked their feathers out and put in their own, and somebody told them something about who they are or put a label on them ..." (27:57)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Being the Scapegoat:

  "It was not a physical burning, but a public burning, but an emotional burning."
  (Monica Lewinsky, 01:04; 24:31)

• On Public Shame:

  "Shame, guilt, publicly, public humiliation. ... it's an amazing trifecta."
  (Monica Lewinsky, 43:56)

• The Endurance of Trauma:

  "Because it was called the Lewinsky scandal ... my name was then seared in people's minds or images. ... I was carrying that mantle. And I still do in some ways, although it's changed."
  (Monica Lewinsky, 26:39)

• On Not Changing Her Name:

  "I shouldn't have to change my name ... I wasn't ashamed of who I was as a person."
  (Monica Lewinsky, 52:41)

  "No one's ever asked Bill Clinton to change his name. ... I've never heard a man who's been through a scandal being asked ... and that is part of the, you know, cloak of shame that women are expected to wear."
  (Monica Lewinsky, 52:52)

• On Energy Work and Healing:

  "It was really when I started doing the energetic work and the resonance work, that started to shift everything, really."
  (Monica Lewinsky, 65:05)

• On Hope in Healing:

  "All those disappointments became blessings. ... And it is so hard to see that when you're in it. ... the hopeful bits ... get stored somewhere in us ... and they may just come peek out and whisper in some of the darkest moments."
  (Monica Lewinsky, 70:08–71:18)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Timestamp | Segment | Content Summary | |-------------|-------------------------------------------|---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 00:00-02:21 | Introduction to Monica’s Story | Jamie and Monica frame the episode around reclaiming your story and overcoming shame | | 02:50-04:15 | Monica on “Unbearable” Years | Monica illustrates the depth of her despair following the scandal | | 10:46-11:41 | Monica’s Innate Compassion | Monica discusses why she is a safe space for other’s secrets and stories | | 13:57-15:17 | Scandal Recap and Identity Theft | Overview of what transpired in 1998 and how Monica’s narrative was lost | | 22:00-24:42 | Physical & Emotional Impact | Monica likens her experience to being plucked like a bird and describes the pain of exposure| | 26:39-27:57 | The “Lewinsky” Naming & Public Memory | Discusses how attaching her name to the scandal cemented her fate and trauma | | 32:00-32:32 | Family Vigilance and Mental Health | Monica shares a vulnerable moment with her mother post-scandal | | 46:29-50:51 | Joblessness Despite Achievements | Monica details her unsuccessful job hunt post-graduate school | | 52:41-52:52 | Not Changing Her Name | Monica explains the practical and philosophical reasons for keeping her name | | 55:48-56:09 | The “Dark Decade” | Monica speaks to a prolonged period of personal darkness and loss of purpose | | 65:05-66:38 | Discovery of Energy and Resonance Work | Monica details the pivotal healing work that shifted her path | | 70:08-71:18 | Finding Blessings in Loss | Monica concludes with the idea that pain can seed eventual wisdom and hope |

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Flow & Tone

The tone is deeply reflective and honest, raw with moments of sharp wit and dark humor. Monica’s vulnerability is met by Jamie’s supportive, empathetic interviewing style, weaving both specific and universal lessons throughout the conversation. The episode seamlessly blends Monica’s personal narrative with a broader message of hope, healing, and possibility for every listener.

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Key Takeaways & Lessons

• Even unimaginable public shame and trauma can, with time and support, be healed and transformed into meaning and purpose.
• The right to reclaim your narrative belongs to you; don’t cede your identity to the labels or judgments of others.
• Healing is not linear and can require diverse modalities—traditional therapy, EMDR, energy work, and more; keep searching for what helps your spirit.
• Women, especially, carry the weight of shame culture, often perpetuated by both men and other women. Awareness is the first step to change.
• Sharing your story can foster connection, undermine shame, and help others feel less alone.
• The journey to reclaiming your life is universal—everyone has feathers plucked by judgment, but anyone can replace them with their own.

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Closing Reflections

Monica Lewinsky’s story stands as a testament to the human capacity for resilience and reclamation. Her candor and insight offer hope for anyone burdened by shame, rejection, or the theft of their narrative—reminding us that it’s never too late to reclaim your power and rewrite your story.

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Listen to Monica’s podcast “Reclaiming” for more, and catch Part Two of this conversation in the next episode of The Jamie Kern Lima Show.

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Transcript

[Jamie Kern Lima]

You fell in love with your boss. Yours just happened to be the president of the United States and the most powerful man in the world.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Married and married. They need to own that.

[Jamie Kern Lima]

That became one of the most public vilifications and collective public shamings of just about any woman in our history. Yeah, I mean, the scale, the scale of the press. You instantly became a household name.

[Monica Lewinsky]

I remember waking up and I lived in the Watergate apartment complex. Newspapers down the entire hal and seeing my name there for something that was awful and destructive to so many people. Personally, watching myself be torn apart. And I already had self esteem issues. Like I wouldn't have been in this situation if I didn't have self esteem issues. I think that it was also reflective of women, how we feel about women. You know, the same way that there were women tied to a post and burned at a stake and called a witch.

[Jamie Kern Lima]

Yes.

[Monica Lewinsky]

And so those things have always been in our collective history. You know, it was not a physical burning, but a public burning, but an emotional burning.

[Jamie Kern Lima]

It wasn't called the Clinton scandal. It was called the Lewinsky scandal. It's your name everywhere.

[Monica Lewinsky]

And my family's name, your family's name. You know, it's not even just me, but everybody who had my last name suffered.

[Jamie Kern Lima]

When someone has gone through so much, you've made it through to the point where you're helping others make it through. And that's what's so powerful. And that's what I'm like most excited about. Today you're in 40 rap songs or whatever the number is up to now.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Over125.125 rap songs don't get residuals. Oh, my gosh.

[Jamie Kern Lima]

Oh, my gosh. You're here.

[Jamie Kern Lima (Narration/Promo Voice)]

You have the power to reclaim your

[Jamie Kern Lima]

story, to reclaim the narrative of who you truly are, and to reclaim your life. And today we are talking about reclaiming with my guest and friend, Monica Lewinsky.

[Jamie Kern Lima (Narration/Promo Voice)]

If you've ever felt like your past,

[Jamie Kern Lima]

maybe a past mistake, a bad decision, an embarrassing failure, or something painful that's happened to you in your past is holding you back or defining who you

[Jamie Kern Lima (Narration/Promo Voice)]

are, Maybe that past version of yourself

[Jamie Kern Lima]

that others knew you for has been lingering over you and keeping you stuck from stepping into the next most beautiful, powerful version of yourself, Today's episode is for you, and I am so excited for this. We can learn so much from each other's stories. And when we share powerful conversations like the one we're having today together, it can help us feel less alone and more enough.

[Jamie Kern Lima (Narration/Promo Voice)]

In this one miraculous life, there were

[Monica Lewinsky]

A number of moments where it just felt unbearable. I just did not think I could take another breath. The difficulty that I experienced in those first few years in some ways paled in comparison to what happened later when I really felt confronted with no future. I had a real. I was naive in thinking that I still sort of had this naive side to me that was like, oh, well, when people get to know me, when they get to really know me, then they'll like me. They'll understand. And that's not at all what happened. One aspect of a collective story is that the collective has to be ready too.

[Jamie Kern Lima]

Right.

[Monica Lewinsky]

And.

[Jamie Kern Lima]

And you're up against this. Yeah, just machine.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Right. She called me and she was like, I had this, you know, like, realization that because you're in the collective consciousness, you know that when you shift your consciousness, you're shifting the consciousness of everybody whose mind you have been in. Shame, guilt, publicly, public humiliation. You know, it's an amazing trifecta.

[Jamie Kern Lima]

Jamie, what does that healing look like and what's worked?

[Monica Lewinsky]

It was really when I started doing the energetic work and the resonance work, that started to shift everything, really.

[Jamie Kern Lima]

And you've shared you voted for her.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Yes, I did. I did.

[Jamie Kern Lima (Narration/Promo Voice)]

Monica Lewinsky is the host of the

[Jamie Kern Lima]

wildly successful podcast called Reclaiming. So make sure you check that out right away. It's so good. She's also a producer, social and anti bullying activist, global public speaker, speaker, and a contributing editor to Vanity Fair. Her focus is on storytelling that moves the conversation forward around shame, reclaiming identities, and justice for women.

[Jamie Kern Lima (Narration/Promo Voice)]

She's also the executive producer of the

[Jamie Kern Lima]

Twisted Tale of Amanda Knox, out now on Hulu. Monica authored the legendary essay Shame and Survival for Vanity Fair in which she reexamined her personal experiences at the sleep center of a political, legal, and global media firestorm connected to the impeachment of President Clinton and challenged the often misogynistic culture of shame that continues to cannibalize the powerless. Monica's TED Talk on the price of shame has been viewed by over 22 million people. Monica holds a master's degree from the London School of Economics. She's also smart, incredibly witty, maybe the best curator of Instagram content that will make you literally laugh out loud daily. She's a loving aunt, competitive mahjong player, and I'm so honored to say, a loving friend. And whether today you're listening for yourself or because someone that you love shared this episode with you, I want to welcome you to the Jamie Kern Lima show podcast family. And if you're here right now, can you do me a favor, and if you like the show and you love the guests that I bring you, can you please hit the subscribe or follow button on the app that you're listening or watching on? It truly means the world to me. Thank you. And also, I want to remind you, this episode is not just for you and me. Please share this with every single person that you know, because what you're about to hear will change your life and theirs.

[Podcast Promoter/Host Voice]

Welcome to the Jamie Kern Lima's show.

[Jamie Kern Lima]

Oprah, how have you defied the odds?

[Podcast Promoter/Host Voice]

Her show is unlike any I've ever done. A revelation. When you listen, it feels like a hug. But your brain and your spirit and your heart is like, wow.

[Jamie Kern Lima (Narration/Promo Voice)]

Melinda French Gates.

[Podcast Promoter/Host Voice]

When I look into Jamie's eyes, I feel like I am on some other cosmic level with her.

[Monica Lewinsky]

I can see the light around her. She's infused with light.

[Jamie Kern Lima (Narration/Promo Voice)]

Imagine overcoming self doubt, learning to believe in yourself and trust yourself and know you are enough. Welcome to the Jamie Kern Lima show.

[Podcast Promoter/Host Voice]

Jamie Kern Lima is her name. Everybody needs Jamie Kern Lima in their life. Jamie Kern Lima.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Jamie, you're so inspiring.

[Podcast Promoter/Host Voice]

Jamie Kern Lima,

[Jamie Kern Lima]

Monica Lewinsky. Welcome to the Jamie Kern Lima show.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Thanks, Jamie.

[Jamie Kern Lima]

I'm so excited you're here.

[Monica Lewinsky]

I'm so happy to be here. Thank you for having me.

[Jamie Kern Lima]

I've had the gift through mutual friends of us meeting and getting to know you, and my daughter's obsessed with making you charcuterie boards.

[Monica Lewinsky]

They are the best charcuterie boards I know. She could have her own store.

[Jamie Kern Lima]

Little Chef Wonder. Exactly.

[Monica Lewinsky]

And.

[Jamie Kern Lima]

And it was so fun when we went to the viewing party of Shark Tank. I'll never forget this moment because I've never seen her do this before. We're all in a group of friends watching the Shark Tank premiere that I did, and I look up and wonder, sitting on your lap. She's sitting on your lap watching the whole show. I'm like, oh, so you are a magnet for love. Because she's discerning. She's discerning. So I'm excited to just talk about all things reclaiming because I think it's a universal experience if we're blessed enough to do it. And I want to say also off the top, congratulations on your show that is exploding. That is so successful, like, right out of the gate.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Thank you. Yeah, thank you, thank you. I'm grateful. Very grateful.

[Jamie Kern Lima]

Yeah.

[Monica Lewinsky]

I actually, what was really nice was I got for me what could have been the highest compliment from one of the young. I call her producer, even though that's probably not her technical title on a show I'm working on right now, who sent me an email, and she said, I don't know how you've done it, but when I finish listening, I feel less alone. And so that is just. I could not ask for anything more than for people to feel connected to the conversation. I know. I'm sure you feel this way too, because you have that in your conversations, that there's just. There's something. I think when people show up and it's an authentic space and you have good intentions, that people can feel it and they can plug in.

[Jamie Kern Lima]

Yeah.

[Monica Lewinsky]

So.

[Jamie Kern Lima]

Well, it's how I feel when I have conversations with you just off camera. Which is why I was so excited when you shared you're going to be launching your podcast. I'm like, oh, that's going to be good. That's going to be good. And I know it's like for every person switching to watch something new and to put yourself out there, but I already knew. I already knew from what happened, like just from meeting you off camera and just having normal friend talks, I was

[Jamie Kern Lima (Narration/Promo Voice)]

like, oh, this is gonna be good.

[Jamie Kern Lima]

This is gonna be good. So everyone listening. If you haven't checked out reclaiming, go check it out right now. Make sure. Let me just do this for a friend right now. Make sure you follow it, subscribe and leave a review and share it. Those are the most important things for a show. A lot of people don't know that.

[Monica Lewinsky]

So I'm like, no, I didn't know

[Jamie Kern Lima]

you gotta do that. Yes, I knew the.

[Monica Lewinsky]

The subscribe one. So follow is follow and subscribe the same thing, though, depending.

[Jamie Kern Lima]

Yeah, you can subscribe on YouTube, follow on, like, Google, Spotify, all the apps. Yeah, yeah. And then half the time they change what they use as their word to do. So just. Yeah, no, it's so good. And just congratulations. I know how much work it is and you can feel it. You know, you feel when someone's just opening their heart and when their intention. Their intention is there. And so I think you sharing that people are saying, I feel less alone. Yeah, that's so beautiful. Because I feel like that's.

[Monica Lewinsky]

I mean, it is. I think one of the things. One of the reasons I thought it would be interesting to do a podcast was since I was a kid, I've kind of been someone for whatever reason that people felt like they could unburden themselves to, you know, and so whether it was before we even, you know, as kids would have language of like, I'm gonna tell you a Secret I haven't told anybody. Or when I was a teenager of somebody saying some version of like, I don't know why I'm telling you this, but, you know, and I've had that throughout my life. And so I hope it's because people feel even from before 98, but after 98, just a level of compassion that I have for people. And I try to not be judgmental, even though I am sometimes secretly. But not, you know, not with people in the moment. I'm just out in the world.

[Jamie Kern Lima]

You're human.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Like, oh, she shouldn't wear that.

[Jamie Kern Lima]

But, yeah, you get that sense on the show, too, that people are just like, just exhale. But I feel like that is the biggest compliment when someone tells you, you know, Monica, I feel less alone listening to your show because at the end of the day, I feel like so many of us do feel alone or we feel like our setbacks, our failures or somehow means something is wrong with us and it must not happen to anyone else. Or our stories are. In my case, I have so many people who maybe are launching a business or an idea or something, and they've had all these setbacks and they've thought it, or they're trying to write a book and no publisher will take it yet. And then they think that they're alone in their experience because when they look online on Social, everyone's highlight reels out there, and they think it's just them. And so that's what fills my heart the most. When people say that, they're like, oh, my gosh, you got rejected that many times building at cosmetics, and you still made it. I feel like I could do it too, you know, or where they have these sort of, like, revelations. And I think, you know, it's so funny, you know, you and I were talking so much off camera that I'm like, okay, we gotta start recording. Okay, we're talking about reclaiming and how many versions of that that we can take on. And so just off the top, today's conversation is all about reclaiming your own story and reclaiming who you are. That is something every single one of us in our own hero's journey, in this one beautiful life can connect with. And, you know, because our listeners of the show span all ages. Monica, just to give anyone who maybe might not know this piece of your story, I want to give them some context. And I want to touch on a season in your past when you lost your narrative and the shame that came with that. And then we're going to dive into how you are reclaiming it and how we all can do that in our own lives. In 1998, you were 22. I think about when I was 22. Oh my goodness, you're 22. You graduated college, you headed to Washington D.C. for an internship where you fell in love with your boss, which I'll just say that's easy to do, whether it's your professor, whether it's. I mean. Yep. So you fell in love with your boss. Yours just happened to be the President of the United States and the most powerful man in the world.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Married and married. I think they need to own that. But.

[Jamie Kern Lima]

And the two of you began a romantic relationship that lasted two years. And the public revelation of that relationship that turned into the largest legal investigation and political and media firestorm and became one of the most public vilifications and collective public shamings of just about any woman in our history. Yeah, I mean, the scale, the scale of the press. You instantly became a household name. Your life was completely turned upside down in a way that lasted decades and changed everything. You say you lost your anonymity, your future, your sense of self, your ability to trust yourself, and you almost lost your life. And you say that at 24, I lost my narrative, or rather it was time to stolen from me. And the Monica Lewinsky that my friends and family knew was usurped by false narratives, callous jokes and politics. The fact that I've reclaimed my narrative and my voice is a miracle and still mind boggling to me because there were many moments where I wasn't really sure that I would survive.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Yep.

[Jamie Kern Lima]

Can you share a little about that from the person that's considering what you may have went through outside of just what they saw on the news?

[Monica Lewinsky]

Yeah. Well, I think, you know, for me, I had the ironic luck of this story exploding at a point in time in our media history. Right. So we had traditional news, traditional news on the radio. Newspapers we now also had had. We'd had 24 hour news for 20 years with CNN, but in 1996 and seven was when the competition started with Fox and MSNBC. And so what that meant was the 24 hour news was changing with competition.

[Jamie Kern Lima]

Right.

[Monica Lewinsky]

And then on top of that was the Internet and was this sort of new kind of wild, wild west of, you know, we didn't have social media yet, but everyday people were starting to find their voices through making comments.

[Jamie Kern Lima]

Yes.

[Monica Lewinsky]

And every outlet had their own website. So it started to mean, you know, that sort of old adage of, you know, yesterday's news is tomorrow's fish paper is no longer true. It was going to be everywhere, accessible to everybody forever. And it meant the story kind of ballooned and exploded faster too. So something that might have taken longer to reach people. So those are sort of the unemotional pieces of the landscape. But for me personally, you know, I just, I remember I knew the investigation was going to become public before most of the world did because there had been this FBI sting several days before and I was threatened with 27 years in jail for having it's like crimes. One of them I had never even heard of suborning perjury. So I didn't even know what that was.

[Jamie Kern Lima]

You were 24 at the time.

[Monica Lewinsky]

I was 24.

[Jamie Kern Lima]

Right.

[Monica Lewinsky]

And so so but in that moment of I remember waking up and we

[Jamie Kern Lima (Narration/Promo Voice)]

need to pause for a super brief

[Jamie Kern Lima]

break and while we do, take a moment to share this episode with every single person that you know who this could inspire. Because this conversation can truly be the

[Jamie Kern Lima (Narration/Promo Voice)]

words and inspiration they need to hear today to keep going, to remember that

[Jamie Kern Lima]

they matter, and to feel less alone

[Jamie Kern Lima (Narration/Promo Voice)]

and more enough, more connected and more worthy. In life, you don't soar to the level of your hopes and dreams. You stay stuck at the level of your self worth. When you build your self worth, you change your entire life. And that's exactly why I wrote my new book, Worthy how to believe you are enough and transform your life for you. If you have some self doubt to destroy and a destiny to fulfill, Worthy is for you. In Worthy, you'll learn proven tools and and simple steps that bring life changing results. Like how to get unstuck from the things holding you back, build unshakable self love, unlearn the lies that lead to self doubt and embrace the truths that wake up worthiness, overcome limiting beliefs and imposter syndrome, achieve your hopes and dreams by believing you are worthy of them and and so much more. Are you ready to unleash your greatness and step into the person you were born to be? Imagine a life with zero self doubt and unshakable self worth. Get your copy of Worthy plus some amazing thank you bonus gifts for [e-mail] or the link in the show notes below. Imagine what you do. If you fully believed in you, it's time to find out. With Worthy, who you spend time around is so important as energy is contagious and so is self belief. And I'd love to hang out with you even more. Especially if you could use an extra dose of inspiration. Which is exactly why I've created my free weekly newsletter that's also a love letter to you delivered straight to your inbox each and every Tuesday morning from me. If you haven't signed up to make sure that you get it each week, just go to jamiekernlima.com to make sure you're on the list and you'll get your one on one with Jamie weekly newsletter and get ready to believe in you. If you're tired of hearing the bad news every single day and need some inspiration, some tips, tools, joy and love hitting your inbox. I'm your girl. [e-mail] or in the link in the show Notes do you struggle with negative self talk? Living with a constant mental narrative that you're not good enough is exhausting. I know because I spent most of my life in that habit. The words you say to yourself about yourself are so powerful and when you learn to take control over your self talk, it's life changing and I wanted to give you a free resource that I created for you if this is something that could benefit your Life. It's called 5 Ways to Overcome Negative Self Talk and Build Self Love and it's a free how to guide to overcome that negative self talk to build confidence and develop unshakable self love so that you can can dream big and keep going in the pursuit of your goals. Don't let self sabotaging thoughts hinder your progress any longer. It's time to rewrite the script of your life, one filled with self love, resilience and unwavering belief. If you're ready to take charge of your narrative, build unwavering confidence and empower yourself to persevere on the path to your dreams. You can grab your free guide to stop overthinking and learn to Trust yourself at jamiekernlima.com resources or click the link in the show notes below. And now more of this incredible conversation together.

[Monica Lewinsky]

I remember waking up and I lived in the Watergate apartment complex with my mom and opening the apartment door and because it was D.C. everybody and this was the day, you know, newspapers were still a thing. So it's like newspapers down the entire hallway and looking at the newspaper and seeing my name there was not something I had ever contemplated at such a young age and certainly not for something that was awful and destructive to so many people personally to how the country was being run to everybody in our country. I think that, you know, the impact was was enormous and to just to watch myself, the person that I knew myself to be that I thought of how I was in the world to sort of watch me be. It almost like if you think of a bird with feathers and you imagine pulling a feather off the bird and each feather was like a piece of me and instead what was being replaced in those feathers were different feathers that other people, how other people wanted to see me and to define me. And so it was alongside all the shock and the fear of legal, the legal ramifications was just watching myself be torn apart. And I already had self esteem issues. Like I wouldn't have been in this situation if I didn't have self esteem issues. And so it was just very much if it hadn't been for my friends and my family, I think over the course of that year, who continued to kind of remind me of my true self. I just, I would have been so lost. Lost into the sea and the abyss of just the anger and the hate and the vitriol for me. But also I think because of the story, I think because of the nature of this story and it being a collective story, I think that it was also reflective of women, how we feel about women. You know, the same way that there were women tied to a post and burned at a stake and called a witch.

[Jamie Kern Lima]

Yes.

[Monica Lewinsky]

And so those things have always been in our collective history. You know, it was not a physical burning, but a public burning, but an emotional burning.

[Jamie Kern Lima]

I'm imagining what you're describing of like plucking out one feather at a time. It's like, of who you are, like your identity or your. And then, and then they're being replaced by all of this. I feel like so many of us can relate to this. If we've had something happen, you know, in elementary school that just almost. Or as an adult where we did something and then all of a sudden someone else is making a judgment on us and telling us who we are. And then it's like, how do you. And I'm just imagining you at 24. I'm like, I'm right there with you. I'm feeling you walk out of the door and seeing papers lined up with you on them. And, and you went from. You know, my mom always used to call me bright eyed, bushy tailed. I'm thinking you went to this bright eye, like you know, going to Washington D.C. loving it, the whole thing. And you're now 24 and your name

[Monica Lewinsky]

is everywhere and, and in ways that you don't want.

[Jamie Kern Lima]

Yes.

[Monica Lewinsky]

You know, I didn't cure cancer, so.

[Jamie Kern Lima]

Yes. And I think what something you just said that's really important and I wish We've made more progress than we have on this. But a lot of people don't realize this. It wasn't called the Clinton scandal, It was called the Lewinsky scandal. Right. And I just, I think about like, oh my gosh, in 2026, if you have a 22 year old intern, right. And having a relationship with the most powerful. Not even that, any boss, let alone a boss twice their age.

[Jamie Kern Lima (Narration/Promo Voice)]

But it doesn't even.

[Jamie Kern Lima]

It's any boss, you know, it's. It's so easy for people to think, oh, yeah, of course he would be fired or he would. You look back on what happened and the public perception and what you went through. It was the Lewinsky scandal. It's your name everywhere.

[Monica Lewinsky]

And my family's name, your family. You know, it's not even just. Just me, but everybody who had my last name suffered. Yes, in that way. And also I think one of the things that I'm sure was an unintentional. What's the word I'm looking for? Fucking perimenopause. But I think that it was an unintentional consequence of having it called the Lewinsky scandal also meant it wasn't going to go away for me because it cemented my name in people's memories more. And in that sense, that was. As my main therapist is a trauma psychiatrist, and as she'll say, is this sort of the long echo of trauma that this, you know, the long wake of the shadow of this scandal and how long it, like I was carrying that mantle. And I still do in some ways, although it's changed, it's had it in large part to do with. Because. Because it was called that. Because my name was then seared in people's minds or images. And it contributed to what I lost for so long.

[Jamie Kern Lima]

And I think, you know, one thing I want to ask everyone listening and watching us right now is just to take a moment and think about maybe a few things that have happened to you in your past that maybe have chipped away at your own identity, whether you're even aware of it or not. Because in our conversation, what I'm so excited to do through what you have done and what you've gone through and the woman that you continue to become and you're offering out into the world and is so powerful. And I think that's part of why I'm so excited for today, because there's many people that don't actually know or maybe haven't considered everything you've shouldered and everything almost like the way a phoenix Rises from the ashes. The impact you're having now in the world, the impact you've had on so many others who have gone through bullying or gone through shaming. The impact you're having now with your show. And the thing I'm most excited about is every person at home actually going, wait a minute. I want to consider what parts of my own story have I. Maybe they're still stuck in that part where someone plucked their feathers out and put in their own, and somebody told them something about who they are or put a label on them or they've put. So often we put labels on ourselves, we're like, oh, you know, I hear from so many women that are like, you know, I realize it wasn't just that I failed in my business or I failed in my. I thought I failed in my marriage or I thought I failed, but I actually think I'm a failure. And there's gonna be so many people listening to this right now that through our conversation are gonna realize, oh, wow, I plucked my own feathers out, put in new ones that are called failure or called not enough or called not lovable. And through our conversation, why I'm so excited about this is because when someone has gone through so much, and then they've. And I know it's a journey forever and know all of us will continue to go through our stuff forever, but you've made it through to the point where you're helping others make it through, and that's what's so powerful. And that's what I'm, like, most excited about today. And I feel like at this point, everyone can relate to being called something on the. On the Internet or having somebody from high school see their thing. They posted on Facebook and not like it or make a side comment or they get bad reviews on Yelp for their, you know, lawyer practice, we can all relate to just this. Like.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Yeah, so many people are also, I think about the divorce rate, and we think about how divorce is structured and just that the. What gets written in. In the divorce files, you know, or the papers, the submissions, you know, that it's vilifying character. Exactly. Exactly. So, I mean, it's. And that you are. You're. You know, I've seen from both my own parents having gotten divorced and having lots of friends who've gotten divorced, that it's. You know, you're. You are losing an identity. And so I think it's when you are vulnerable to those kinds of things that you're. You're more vulnerable. You're more vulnerable to Having other people stick the feathers in.

[Jamie Kern Lima]

In the year after and then the year after that. Can you take us through what that looked like? Yeah, because you're in 40 rap songs or whatever the number is up to

[Monica Lewinsky]

now, over125.125 rap songs don't get residuals. Oh, my gosh, I wish.

[Jamie Kern Lima]

I mean, you talk about your family and how your parents showed up for you, and you say that they wouldn't let you even shower with the door closed because you, I think, shared that

[Monica Lewinsky]

you, those first few nights, didn't want

[Jamie Kern Lima]

to wake up the next morning. Can you take us through that?

[Monica Lewinsky]

Yeah. There were a number of moments throughout the investigation where it just felt unbearable. I just did not think I could take another breath. And when my parents saw those signs or felt their, you know, parental intuition

[Jamie Kern Lima]

of

[Monica Lewinsky]

wanting to protect me, you know, it was. It was really that the first night, whenso, the night of the FBI sting, I was in this hotel room and eventually waiting for my mom to come from New York. And by the time we finally got to leave, I had been there for, I think, 12, 13 hours. And my mom didn't think we were going to be able to leave. And so she. But when we got home and a whole bunch of other things, but it was probably around 4am and I finally took a shower. And, you know, she just. I remember her sort of coming and saying, you know, monka, you have to leave the door open. And I understood, and I understood why. And it was, you know, it was really painful for everybody in my family in different ways, because I think both, you know, to remember that even though Bill's family was also going through pain, they were in a very different world and a very different. And had different experiences and were in a place that was very protected, with a lot of support that was paid for, and. And they understood this world, whereas we didn't. And so I come from a very smart family. But that doesn't mean you can understand how to navigate a different universe, you know, of politics, of media. And so it was, you know, I think for all of us, there was just a lot of fear, a lot of not knowing how to move forward, and I think for them, of knowing how to protect me. So. But it's interesting because I think, you know, in the process of, you know, setting up the podcast, I think that there was this really looking back and seeing the kind of gestalt of my whole story in these last 27 years, and the difficulty that I experienced in those first few years, in some ways, paled in comparison to what happened later when I really felt confronted with no future and no purpose. And so, you know, those first few years after 98, I. I leaned into trying to be a public person because I didn't know what else to do. And

[Jamie Kern Lima]

you did the. The authorized.

[Monica Lewinsky]

I didn't authorize bio. Well, that I did in part, you know, to. To pay legal.

[Jamie Kern Lima]

Pay your legal bills.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Right, and you didn't want to begin with. Right, exactly. And which no one offered to cover. So. And, but I think it was also, you know, there were ways I had a real. I was naive in thinking that I still sort of had this naive side to me that was like, oh, well, when people get to know me and they get to really know me, then they'll like me, they'll understand. And, and that's not at all what happened. I think, you know, people did get to know me over time. I did try to put my version of the story out there, but one aspect of. One aspect of a collective story is that the collective has to be ready too.

[Jamie Kern Lima]

Right.

[Monica Lewinsky]

And.

[Jamie Kern Lima]

And you're up against this just machine.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Right. But it was interesting because after I went to graduate, so I went to graduate school in 2005 and on a couple. One of my trips back to London after I had coffee with a professor who had been my tutor there also. So what they call tutor, it's not the same. Tutor in the UK is not the same as tutor in the US but she was an amazing Dr. Sandra. And we had coffee and she had taught the class on power and communities that I had taken. And she had said to me, she said, I can't do her Brazilian accent well, but she's Brazilian. And she had just said that there's no competing narrative, that the people with power had written the narrative for me and that there has to be a competing narrative for that to change. And I wasn't ready to hear that when she said it, but it lodged in my brain in the same way. I had another friend who had been my friend. Ann had been meditating on a pyramid in Mexico and she called me and she was like, I had this realization that because you're in the collective consciousness, that when you shift your consciousness, you're shifting the consciousness of everybody who's mind you have been in. And I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no. That I'm like, you're crazy. That's like, can't be the case. And you know, and she. That's really powerful, you know, something about the Hundred Monkey. I don't know something or another. And it just. But I think those things sometimes, I think sometimes in our journeys we hear things that are really important, seeds that are planted.

[Jamie Kern Lima]

I was going to say that. Yeah.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Long before, long before they start to germinate.

[Jamie Kern Lima]

Yes. So in that, in the first few years then I want to get to when you were 39 and some of those moments because I think our journey to healing, our journey to reclaiming is almost never linear. No, those first few years, I mean, I feel like again every one of us has had different experiences where we're like, oh gosh, everyone at work knows this happened or everyone at school, school this hat or my friend group this or this is so painful. And all the things yours is on such a profound scale in, in the first few years. Could you leave the house and go to a restaurant?

[Jamie Kern Lima (Narration/Promo Voice)]

We need to pause for a super brief break.

[Jamie Kern Lima]

And while we do, take a moment to share this episode with every single

[Jamie Kern Lima (Narration/Promo Voice)]

person that you know who this could inspire.

[Jamie Kern Lima]

Because this conversation can truly be the

[Jamie Kern Lima (Narration/Promo Voice)]

words and inspiration they need to hear today to going to remember that they

[Jamie Kern Lima]

matter and to feel less alone and

[Jamie Kern Lima (Narration/Promo Voice)]

more enough more connected and more worthy. Who you spend time around is so important as energy is contagious and so is self belief. And I'd love to hang out with you even more, especially if you could use an extra dose of inspiration. Which is exactly why I've created my free weekly newsletter that's also a love letter to you delivered straight to your inbox each and every Tuesday morning from me. If you haven't signed up to make sure that you get it each week, just go to jamiecarnlima.com to make sure you're on the list and you'll get your one on one with Jamie weekly newsletter and get ready to believe in you. If you're tired of hearing the bad news every single day and need some inspiration, some tips, tools, joy and love hitting your inbox. I'm your girl. [e-mail] or in the link in the show notes.

[Podcast Promoter/Host Voice]

I am so excited for this book. You know why? Because it's going to save so many people.

[Monica Lewinsky]

It's going to save people.

[Podcast Promoter/Host Voice]

Were the your new beautiful book worthy? Get this book. This book. I'm telling you it's a book that can change anybody's life who picks it up. Anybody who's ever felt that they were not good enough didn't measure up. Something's missing in your life. I have to tell you it's powerful,

[Jamie Kern Lima]

it's happening, it's worthy Imagine what would

[Jamie Kern Lima (Narration/Promo Voice)]

you do if you fully believed in you.

[Jamie Kern Lima]

I went from struggling to waitress facing non stop rejection to founder of IT

[Jamie Kern Lima (Narration/Promo Voice)]

cosmetics, a billion dollar company by learning how to overcome self doubt and believe

[Jamie Kern Lima]

I am worthy of my hopes and dreams. And I'm sharing how you can too in my new book, how to believe you are enough and transform your life.

[Jamie Kern Lima (Narration/Promo Voice)]

If you're ready to truly trust yourself and break through that barrier of spirit

[Jamie Kern Lima]

self doubt and know that where you

[Jamie Kern Lima (Narration/Promo Voice)]

come from or even where you are

[Jamie Kern Lima]

right now doesn't determine where you're going, then worthy is for you.

[Jamie Kern Lima (Narration/Promo Voice)]

It's time to go from doubting you're enough to knowing you're enough. It's time to step into all of who you are and into the person you were born to be. And it's time to believe that you are worthy of it. Because in life we don't become what we want. We become what we believe we're worthy of. Join the worthy movement today by grabbing your copy of Worthy anywhere books are sold. Then head to worthybook.com now for free

[Jamie Kern Lima]

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[Jamie Kern Lima (Narration/Promo Voice)]

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[Jamie Kern Lima]

and into your real life right now. Worthy is groundbreaking.

[Jamie Kern Lima (Narration/Promo Voice)]

Yo Worthy, you are worthy.

[Podcast Promoter/Host Voice]

This book is going to change lives.

[Jamie Kern Lima]

This book literally will teach you how to actually feel worthy so that you can have the strength, you can have the confidence. The lessons in this book and the

[Monica Lewinsky]

strategies will change your life.

[Jamie Kern Lima]

You will never be the same again after you read this book.

[Podcast Promoter/Host Voice]

Jamie's book Worthy is a must read. It is going to inspire you, empower you, give you the hope that you need and the kick in the rear end that you deserve.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Jamie's book Worthy is incredible.

[Jamie Kern Lima]

The gifts are going away, but they're

[Jamie Kern Lima (Narration/Promo Voice)]

all free right now on worthybook.com and now more of this incredible conversation together.

[Jamie Kern Lima]

In the first few years, could you leave the house and go to a restaurant or a coffee shop?

[Monica Lewinsky]

And what would happen once I got immunity in 98? I think things started to change. And then after I testified before the grand jury, what it became was sort of in these larger moments of the story. So the star report coming out, I came to know or to learn. Okay, if this thing is gonna happen, there are gonna be people outside my apartment. So I started, yes. And started to try to plan for things like that. And then there were moments where I didn't know something had happened. And then I'd get followed in the car in LA and separate from paparazzi,

[Jamie Kern Lima]

just how were regular people? Just regular people. When you'd go to a restaurant or

[Monica Lewinsky]

go to a coffee shop, you know, I was. I was. I consider myself lucky in the sense that maybe I could count on one or two hands, like the number of times somebody was actually really rude directly to my face. Did I notice tittering in restaurants and, you know, things like that? Sure. Did the people, my friends and some of my family have to experience more of that in ways of people taking liberties of saying things to them? Yeah.

[Jamie Kern Lima]

How did it impact your family when their name is so public?

[Monica Lewinsky]

I'm just really lucky. I have an amazing family. I really do. I'm so grateful. I think that for the most part, everybody understood that no matter what they experienced, it wasn't going to be as bad as what I went through and what it felt like for me. And so I imagine there are a lot of conversations that have happened without

[Jamie Kern Lima]

me

[Monica Lewinsky]

because they've tried to protect me. And I appreciate that because something, you know, and we've all felt this way in different circumstances, is when people you love are impacted by something negative that you did or caused, you feel guilt. You feel a lot of guilt. And so it's like shame, guilt, publicly, public humiliation, you know, it's an amazing trifecta, Jamie. It's just I was able to go to restaurants, but I had to be careful about which restaurants I went to because sometimes they would call the paparazzi or, you know, if I would read about what I ate in one restaurant. I never went back to that restaurant. But then there were places. There's a. I don't know if you've ever been to the Gray Dog Cafe in New York. Oh, it's great. Next time you're there, you should go. The best coffee in the city. And they, you know, we're little restaurant owned by two brothers. They say little. It's not little anymore. They're numerous ones. But it was a real safe haven for me in New York. And so I would go there and have breakfast. And in fact, one of my best friends still to today, I met there. So, you know, it's. That's the magic of creating a safe space for people is, you know, it's not just good food. It's the connections that can happen there in lesser lifetime.

[Jamie Kern Lima]

When you went, you got your master's degree. You got your master's degree, London School of Economics. This is a big deal. You come out of school and you say no one would hire you.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jamie Kern Lima]

Can you take Us through that.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Sure.

[Jamie Kern Lima]

So, you know, these are the things nobody thinks about. You know, they. Right. And then they go through stuff like that in their own version and they think that they're alone.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Well, I think, I think also too, what's important to know is not only what are the ways that people may connect from their own lives to that story, but we're also all participants in these public stories that happen. And I think we often, once the headlines go away, we rarely think about that person again and sort of what the long tail of their experience has been, how that can impact moving forward or not being able to move forward. But, you know, I went to graduate school. It had just, it became clear trying to be a public person was not working on so many different levels. And I was so unhappy. And so the thinking was, okay, why don't I try to go back? You know, my therapist at the time was always talking about getting back on a normal developmental path. Like, how do I do that in every step of the way? Whether it's, you know, I dated then still, or, you know, how was I trying to support myself in the same way that a 25 year old would be trying to support themselves and you know, all different ways. But going to graduate school was really about trying to build a new bridge to a future and a future where I, my name might be less known for certain things and I'm able to start having the life that I was supposed to have. And it was, it was just a process where it was timing. It just didn't work. It didn't work, you know.

[Jamie Kern Lima]

Did you go on job interviews?

[Monica Lewinsky]

Yeah, I mean, I interviewed it. I mean, maybe this doesn't sound like a lot, but over 50 places, that's a lot. So. And each time for me was anxious, making, you know, I would, I had one experience where I went in and the person who was interviewing me was more nervous than I was and they had certain tics that came out. And so trying to manage someone else's anxiety when I myself was anxious because it was so important to me to come across a certain way and to get hired and to try to have this future. You know, I don't know why this is what's coming up, but I'm thinking about Gilligan's island. And like every episode of Gilligan, they almost got rescued. You know, and there's that thing where you just. It's like they almost got rescued, but then of course, it doesn't happen. And so that was how it would feel. This okay, by getting a job. I would be rescued from what happened to me, and that would open up a new future and sort of trying to find this future that I had so desperately wanted, and people who loved me wanted for me, too. You know, it eventually became impossible. I think it was impacted, certainly, by the financial crisis we went through in 2008. It was impacted by the politics that, of course, obviously, she had every right to run, but Hillary running for office impacted my ability to get a job. And the Clintons still being very much in power, very much the leaders of the party.

[Jamie Kern Lima]

And you've shared you voted for her.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Yes, I did. I did.

[Jamie Kern Lima]

I want to put this in perspective because I feel like I have the blessing now of knowing you as a friend and how freaking smart you are. And I'm imagining how smart you are, and then you get your master's from London School of Economics, you go on 50 interviews, and no one will hire you.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Yeah.

[Jamie Kern Lima]

So I know you've had so many people ask you this question, and I thought your. I think your answer is so profound that I have to ask. It is. You know, so many people have asked you, well, why didn't you just change your name?

[Monica Lewinsky]

Yeah, And I. It's. I thought about it. I mean, we discussed it many times in my family, and when I was sitting to write a resume, I thought about it again. But ultimately, I think I came to two very different things. One was more a fact of life, and the other was something stronger in my soul. And the first being. I don't know that that actually would have been able to work. I don't know that it. I think that at the level of name recognition and especially at that time, still, it just by the time that the paperwork, like, was coming out of, you know, a lawyer would be coming out of taking paperwork in to be, you know, legally verified and having a name change, it would have been all over the newspaper. Right. So there was that piece to it. But I think the other piece that took me time to find in myself and took me time to stand behind was that I shouldn't have to change my name, and so I shouldn't have to be. I regretted and felt a lot of shame about many choices I'd made in my life, both ones that led to 98 and earlier and other times that I've. You know, I think all of us have done things. They don't all become public, but I wasn't ashamed of who I was as a person.

[Jamie Kern Lima]

Someone asked you, well, why didn't you change your name? And you also said, no one's ever asked Bill Clinton to change his name.

[Monica Lewinsky]

And that's the stand, in many ways for the man. I don't think I've ever heard a man who's been through a scandal being asked, you know, and that is part of the, you know, cloak of shame that women are expected to wear. And so that was also, I think that's an important thing for all of us women, especially young women, to remember of.

[Jamie Kern Lima]

And so often that cloak of shame women are expected to wear is actually put on you and reinforced by other women. When we realize that, we're like, wait a minute, wait a minute. I remember Chelsea Handler on the show saying that in her early career, and she's so pro women, and in her career, she's like, it was women that didn't want me to succeed in the early parts of her career. And I feel like over so many generations, you know, the roles we've been taught to play in these sort of, like, misogynistic views that we don't even realize are just sort of like part of culture that so often we're doing the thing to others that we would never want done onto us. And having that realization is so big. It's so big. I remember the first time realizing, wait, why was it called the Lewinsky scandal? Wait a minute. No, no one would ever ask Bill to change his name. Like, just all of these realizations. And yes, we have come far, but not so much.

[Monica Lewinsky]

No. I get asked a lot if I think that things would be different today. And while I do think some things would be different, I don't think it would be as different as we'd like to think it would be. We've made strides, but not enough. And sometimes the strides we make, we get blown back by a big gust.

[Jamie Kern Lima]

It's so interesting, even to this day, when you look at no matter what political party people are part of or how they vote, it's really, every party is this way that when you have a woman running versus a man, just the press coverage is so fundamentally different. The way their appearance is attacked, the way different parts of them is vilified.

[Jamie Kern Lima (Narration/Promo Voice)]

It's just.

[Jamie Kern Lima]

It's still wild to see how different it is. And I know you mentioned earlier that the first few years after 98 were hard. You talk about lots, like, not wanting to wake up. You talk about the things that your family has gone through, that you've experienced, and then getting your master's, not being able to get hired. And you said a few minutes ago that you hit a point where you're like, what is my future and my purpose?

[Monica Lewinsky]

Yeah, I think this was a large part of. I call it my dark decade. And this process of trying to move forward and yet feeling like I was both frozen in amber and stuck in molasses and in quicksand.

[Jamie Kern Lima]

You know, what decade was this? What age?

[Monica Lewinsky]

So this was coming out of graduate school, so in my early 30s. And I kind of. I feel like it was this tale, you know, to me, the tail end, it's 30 to 40 was that decade. And even though I was still a public person, like, I was still trying to find my way as a public person in my early 30s. And then I went to graduate school.

[Jamie Kern Lima]

School.

[Monica Lewinsky]

And those weren't as dark as what came in the years that followed. They were all part of the same thing, of me struggling to find my way and to find what my purpose was to find. How was the life. How was a life going to blossom? Even though I've always had friends and I'm so lucky that way, and lucky for a lot of different reasons. There is something about having purpose, and it's actually, you know, we don't have to go into this whole long thing. But it's actually what I worry about with AI a lot is people being displaced from their jobs. And even with universal basic income, it doesn't mean you have purpose, you know. And so is 39.

[Jamie Kern Lima]

You talk about age 39.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Yeah, it was a bad year. I think it is so valuable for people to hear that so often. Coming out of these enormous, painful storms can be the rainbow. It doesn't always happen. And sometimes you think, okay, fine, I'm almost through the storm. And then it turns out, oh, guess what? There's another fucking storm coming. You have several storms, but I do think we end up somewhere. We end up somewhere better. 39 for me was I had been trying so hard to move forward. And after I had done all the job hunting then I was trying to be an entrepreneur with zero business experience, except I was good at spending money. And it was like I. I had creative ideas, but I'm not because I'm Libra rising. I can always see two sides to something. So trying to make a big decision about something on my own was really hard because I kept being able to go against it. So it was that. And then I came to a point where I thought I would, okay, I might step back into things and into a public world. And maybe there's, you know, now social media exists. And so this kind of public shaming is happening to people who are, you Know who are public and private, you know, who've done something wrong and who've done nothing wrong. So I thought, okay, well, maybe I can be a poster child for having, you know, survived public shaming, even if surviving wasn't really thriving yet. I was still here. And so I tried so hard to learn from my mistakes and to make decisions in a way that I thought, okay, it'll be different this time. And pretty much everything that I built in the few years leading up to 39 fell apart in my 39th year and I turned 40. Obviously that's what happens after 30 died. So it was the year I was turning 40 and, you know, really facing having to confront so many of the things that I had hoped I would have had at that point that I watched many of my friends have. And

[Jamie Kern Lima]

like what?

[Monica Lewinsky]

Like getting married, having children, having a career, something that was fulfilling to them. And I think those were. I, I always wanted to have kids, you know, and doing it on my own was not an option for me. So I froze my eggs at 37, I froze embryos at 37, but it just, you know, it just wasn't an option.

[Jamie Kern Lima]

Why?

[Monica Lewinsky]

Because I didn't have any financial stability. And so it was. And I think for me, if you can help, you know, it's one thing, an unplanned pregnancy is one thing. And whatever decisions people make around that, that's in my mind, that's their own decision to make. I feel and felt a responsibility around if I was going to bring a child into this world that I'd be able to provide for it at a standard and a level that I felt would help them thrive. And I just, I didn't think I had the emotional makeup to be a good single parent either. So without a lot of resources, you know, and so I think there were, there were a lot of tears shed in 39, and I had, in this period, I think from 35, 36, I started to do a lot of deep personal work. It was more non traditional therapies. I had done some more traditional therapies. I did emdr, which is a really powerful therapy to help with trauma and moving trauma out of the body and re patterning our brains in certain ways. But probably the main piece of work that I did based on string theory, and it is around our energy bodies and the patterns of energy and blockages and the kinds of things that we bring into our life, but also can hold onto. And so a lot of that work was having to heal my energy fields from the damage that had been done in 98 and after. And once we sort of got to a certain point, I was able to really re pattern some of my relationships, my energetic relationships. I know it sounds like kind of cuckoo, but. And it's all underpinned by compassion, you know, and both compassion for myself and trying to set my lens to how I moved through the world and took things in with compassion, which I try to do. I am not always successful.

[Jamie Kern Lima]

For your healing journey to something you said earlier, you said long before you were able to receive it, your friend calls you and says she has this huge aha moment where if you shift your perception of yourself, everyone who has you and their consciousness will shift their perception. And. And I'm just thinking of how powerful that is because I think about every single one of us. When we learn to unlearn the lies that lead to self doubt, when we learn to believe we're worthy, like I think about that. When we shift our own identity, does that collectively shift? And for some of us, our circle might be, you know, the moms at school or the, you know, people at work or the. Or our family or whatever, but it's fascinating, that concept. And so going along your journey right now, this unimaginable thing happens at 24, and then you spend those years really struggling, of course, getting your master's good coming out that whole journey. Now you're 39 and you're saying, I want to have kids. I have frozen my eggs, I've frozen embryos. I want to have a career, I want to have these things. And when did you start healing modalities and therapy? And what does that journey look like from 24 up through now in terms of, like, what you found has really worked or really helped on that healing journey. And we'll eventually get into the reclaiming part as well. What are your favorite, favorite or I guess most powerful? Because I believe our body keeps the score. I believe all of it. And I think for so many people, while that book is phenomenally popular, for so many people, the concept is brand new. Like, what do you mean my body keeps the score? Oh, if I haven't healed the thing that happened, then it's still in me and affecting me. And so from your journey so far, really starting from 24 to now, you're 51. What does that healing look like? And where are you at now and what's worked?

[Monica Lewinsky]

Right.

[Jamie Kern Lima]

Yeah.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Well, I think what's interesting is I feel like even the things that I did that I would say didn't work, they actually worked in some way. And I do think this is. It's really the building blocks of it. And sometimes it just takes a very long time to circle around to understand what something provided you, even if it didn't provide you with the thing that

[Jamie Kern Lima]

you went in instantly. Right, right.

[Monica Lewinsky]

You know, and so. But I mean, I have tried almost everything. I haven't done psychedelics yet. It's something I really. But that's the now part. But I think from then I went on, you know, I went on traditional sort of psychotherapy medicines. Early on I had traditional therapy with someone for, I think, almost 10 years. And then when I went to London, I had. She was retiring at that point, so it was sort of this natural break. And I saw somebody briefly in London who was not a good fit for me. But it was really when I started doing the energetic work and the resonance work and that. That was. That started to shift everything, really. Oh, yeah. I know I would not be where I am today without having done all of that work.

[Jamie Kern Lima]

So to someone hearing energy and resonance work, I know they don't know what that means. There'll be people that are so into it and then the people that they're hearing it for the first time. How would you explain, explain what that is to someone who has never heard of it but is so curious and wants to know and maybe even wants to look into it?

[Monica Lewinsky]

Yeah, it is something that I'm so passionate about and I want to help people. We have machines that read energy like an mri, right. It reads a vibration, it reads a resonance, a sound. And so it's doing work. The work I do is sound based. So if you didn't know what was happening, you would think you were getting some sort of a sound bath. But it's really sound that's used to move other energies. But what could be complicated is you don't know what's behind, you know, the person I'm working with, I get lucky enough, he finds a blockage. What we don't know is, is behind the blockage, smooth sailing or. Or a hundred other blocks. And so that's where I think healing can be complicated. It's really. And so it is not, as you said before, it is not linear. You know, I think of it as like a tilted spiral, because the times even that we feel we're going backwards, we're actually going down to go up. On the next, you know, on the next ring,

[Jamie Kern Lima]

do you lay on a table and have a practitioner tune in sounds to release energy? Blockage. Is there ever physical contact or it's

[Monica Lewinsky]

Just rarely is there physical contact, but sometimes there is. And I've had experiences where I've gone in under a very heavy dark cloud and walked out a brand new person. I've had experiences where I've walked in with a heavy cloud and walked out with the same fucking cloud, or seemingly same cloud. So it's just. But one of the things, once my. Once we sort of repaired my fields, was really about re patterning my relationship to fame. And that was the first thing that we did towards, you know, in my 39th year. Not the first thing. In my 39th year, but that was the first. First thing that really started to. I think I felt as if looking back, it kind of plucked me up and put me on a different path.

[Jamie Kern Lima]

And that was through the sound energy work.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Yes.

[Jamie Kern Lima]

Okay. Was that more powerful for you than EMDR or other modalities or maybe it was different. Different, yeah.

[Monica Lewinsky]

It's all different because I also. I started doing eft, the Tapping Emotional Freedom Technique. So tapping, which is which, the basis of it is very similar to emdr. It's a little less scientific, you know, you're not using, but it's around releasing energy that's stored in our body. And that energy connected to emotions and experiences and ways that we filter new information coming in. We filter experiences that are being offered to us. And so I was doing that. I would try anything. You know, I was just. I was so desperate.

[Jamie Kern Lima]

You say at 39 that you maybe wondered if you'd make it out of 39.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Yeah, it was an avalanche of disappointments that happened, and. And all of those disappointments became blessings. So, you know, everything that fell apart, It really was for my own good. And it is so hard to see that when you're in it. When you're in it, it is so hard. But I think that I always feel one of the most important parts of sharing our stories, as we do in whatever medium. Right. Whether it's a podcast or a book or a conversation, one on one. What is so important about it is the wisdom and the hopeful bits. They get stored somewhere in us, even if we didn't choose to. And they're there, and they may just come peek out and whisper in some of the darkest moments. And I feel like that's the benefit, that's the beauty of doing these kinds of stories.

[Jamie Kern Lima]

This conversation is so powerful and so inspiring. Inspiring that we made it into more than one part. And coming up in this incredible part two of our conversation on reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky, you have the power to reclaim your story to reclaim the narrative of who you truly are and reclaim your life. And we are diving into more insights into how you can do that in your life right now.

[Jamie Kern Lima (Narration/Promo Voice)]

Today.

[Jamie Kern Lima]

Coming up in the next episode of the Jamie Kern Lima Show. Remember, this episode's not just for you and me. Please share this with every single person that you know because it can change their life too. And if you love today's episode, please click the Follow or Subscribe button for the show on the app that you're listening or watching it on, give it a five star rating or review. And again, please share it with everyone that you believe in. Share it with another person in your life who could benefit from it, post it and share it with others online or in your community who just might need the words and tools and lessons in this episode today. You never know whose life you're meant to change today by sharing this episode. And thank you so much for joining me today. And before you go, I want to share some words with you that couldn't be more true.

[Jamie Kern Lima (Narration/Promo Voice)]

You right now, exactly as you are, are enough and fully worthy.

[Jamie Kern Lima]

You're worthy of your greatest hopes, your wildest dreams and all the unconditional love in the world. And it's an honor to welcome you to each and every episode of the Jamie Kern Lima show here. I hope you'll come as you are,

[Jamie Kern Lima (Narration/Promo Voice)]

heal where you need, blossom what you

[Jamie Kern Lima]

choose, journey toward your calling and stay as long as you like. Because you belong here. You are worthy, you are loved. You are love and I love you. And I cannot wait to join you on the next episode of the Jamie Kerr and Lima Show.

[Jamie Kern Lima (Narration/Promo Voice)]

In life, you don't soar to the level of your hopes and dreams. You stay stuck at the level of your self worth. When you build your self worth, you change your entire life. And that's exactly why I wrote my new book, Worthy how to believe you are enough and transform your life for you. If you have some self doubt to destroy and a destiny to fulfill, worthy is for you. In Worthy, you'll learn proven tools and simple steps that bring life changing results. Like how to get unstuck from the things holding you back, build unshakable self love, unlearn the lies that lead to self doubt and embrace the truths that wake up worthiness, overcome limiting beliefs and imposter syndrome, achieve your hopes and dreams by believing you are worthy of them and so much more. Are you ready to unleash your greatness and step into the person you were born to be? Imagine a life with zero self doubt and unshakable self worth. Get your copy of Worthy plus some amazing thank you bonus gifts for [e-mail] or the link in the show notes below. Imagine what you'd do if you fully believed in you. It's time to find out with Worthy. Who you spend time around is so important as energy is contagious and so is self belief. And I'd love to hang out with you even more, especially if you could use an extra dose of inspiration. Which is exactly why I've created my free weekly newsletter that's also a love letter to you delivered straight to your inbox from me. If you haven't signed up to make sure that you get it each week, just go to jamiecarnlima.com to make sure you're on the list and you'll get your one on one with Jamie weekly newsletter and get ready to believe in you. If you're tired of hearing the bad news every single day and need some inspiration, some tips, tools, joy and love hitting your inbox. I'm your girl. [e-mail] or in the link in the show notes.

[Jamie Kern Lima]

And please note, I'm not a licensed therapist and this podcast is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional.