Teddi Mellencamp (Pt 2) How to Reconcile Your Life’s Meaning, Summon Strength & Hold Onto Hope During Setbacks!

Summary

The Jamie Kern Lima Show: Episode Summary - Teddi Mellencamp (Pt 2)

Release Date: August 5, 2025

In the emotionally charged second part of her conversation with Teddi Mellencamp, Jamie Kern Lima delves deep into the multifaceted struggles Teddi has faced in her personal life, including marital strife, battling cancer, and navigating the complexities of faith and self-forgiveness. This episode offers a raw and unfiltered look into Teddi’s journey towards reconciliation, strength, and hope amidst profound setbacks.

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1. Confronting Past Hurts and Marital Challenges

The episode opens with Teddi Mellencamp addressing the pain caused by her past actions. At [00:04], she poignantly reflects, “Did I do things that hurt other people? Yes. To this day, does it still hurt my heart?” Teddi contemplates whether her cancer diagnosis was a form of karmic payback, underscoring her belief that “nothing goes without payment” ([00:17]).

Teddi discusses the fallout from her marriage with Edwin, particularly focusing on the aftermath of his infidelity. She explains that the revelation of Edwin’s affair with a close friend devastated her, leading to a spiral of emotional turmoil. At [01:06], she shares, “It was my payback. So nothing goes without payment, I guess,” highlighting the intertwining of personal mistakes and their repercussions.

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2. Struggles with Forgiveness and Rebuilding Trust

Throughout the conversation, Teddi grapples with her ability to forgive and the possibility of changing her marriage dynamics. When asked if her marriage could change, she responds at [00:54], “I think if I was willing to change, but I don't think I am anymore,” indicating a sense of personal exhaustion and resignation.

Teddi reveals the immense pressure she felt to maintain a facade of happiness and perfection for her family and the public eye. At [11:33], she admits, “That was the first time in my life where I was like, how will I show up every day with a smile on my face and raise these kids and be this perfect wife,” illustrating the internal conflict between her public persona and private pain.

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3. Navigating Public Scrutiny and Privacy

As a public figure from "The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills," Teddi discusses the invasive nature of the press in her personal life. She explains how attempts to minimize pain often ended up amplifying it due to constant media attention. At [16:04], she states, “Nothing goes without payment, I guess,” emphasizing the cost of fame on her personal well-being.

Teddi also touches upon the challenges of maintaining privacy, especially when intimate family matters become public. She mentions, “I have one, I went and stayed at her house the day that it happened,” referring to confiding in her best friend, but acknowledges the difficulty in keeping certain aspects of her life shielded from the public eye.

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4. Faith and Its Evolving Role in Her Life

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to Teddi’s relationship with her faith and God. She candidly shares how recent experiences have altered her spiritual outlook. At [24:21], Teddi confesses, “My faith took a turn. Not my faith, but my relationship with God took a turn,” revealing the strain her struggles have placed on her spiritual beliefs.

Despite these challenges, Teddi affirms her belief in God’s protection and her hope for healing. At [31:22], she says, “I talk to God every night before I go to bed and I talk to God in the morning,” showcasing her ongoing efforts to seek solace through prayer and conversations with a higher power.

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5. Battling Cancer and Its Impact on Her Life

Teddi's diagnosis with stage four melanoma serves as a pivotal theme in the conversation. She reflects on how her illness has forced her to reassess her priorities and seek inner peace. At [26:33], she reveals, “I had to beg Edwin to want to stay with me,” linking her health struggles directly to her marital issues.

Her battle with cancer has also influenced her approach to self-worth and personal growth. At [33:00], Teddi shares, “I was so sick during that stage,” highlighting how her physical health challenges have intertwined with her emotional and spiritual journey.

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6. Personal Growth and Embracing Freedom

Towards the end of the episode, Teddi discusses her journey towards personal freedom and self-acceptance. She acknowledges the need to let go of past judgments and embrace who she truly is. At [34:11], Teddi states, “I'm not the best spoken half the time. I'm gonna make mistakes. I'm gonna say this, I'm gonna say that,” emphasizing her commitment to authenticity and self-love.

Teddi also touches upon her experiences with dating during her health struggles. She humorously shares her challenges with dating apps like Hinge, reflecting her attempts to find normalcy amidst chaos. At [38:20], she mentions, “Nobody's setting any rules for you,” highlighting her desire to remain respectful and considerate in her personal relationships.

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7. Conclusion: Embracing Hope and Moving Forward

In wrapping up the conversation, Teddi Mellencamp embodies resilience and hope. She acknowledges the continuous process of healing and the importance of taking things one day at a time. At [35:00], she affirms, “I have enough dramatics in my life,” illustrating her determination to focus on what truly matters amidst ongoing challenges.

Her journey, as shared in this episode, serves as an inspiring testament to overcoming adversity, seeking forgiveness, and finding strength in vulnerability. Teddi’s candid reflections offer listeners profound insights into the complexities of personal growth, faith, and the enduring quest for self-worth.

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Notable Quotes:

• “Did I do things that hurt other people? Yes. To this day, does it still hurt my heart?” — Teddi Mellencamp [00:04]

• “Nothing goes without payment, I guess.” — Teddi Mellencamp [00:17]

• “I think if I was willing to change, but I don't think I am anymore.” — Teddi Mellencamp [00:54]

• “I believe in God. I believe he's protecting me. I believe that I'm going to heal.” — Teddi Mellencamp [02:32]

• “I was so sick during that stage because... I didn't go to the doctors.” — Teddi Mellencamp [18:37]

• “I'm not the best spoken half the time. I'm gonna make mistakes.” — Teddi Mellencamp [34:11]

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This episode of The Jamie Kern Lima Show with Teddi Mellencamp is a profound exploration of resilience in the face of personal and public hardships. Teddi’s openness about her struggles provides invaluable lessons on forgiveness, faith, and the relentless pursuit of self-worth, offering listeners both solace and inspiration on their own journeys.

Transcript

[Jamie Kern Lima]

Coming up in this incredible Part two episode with Teddi Mellencamp, what I can.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Say is, did I do things that hurt other people? Yes. To this day, does it still hurt my heart? And I wonder if that's why I got cancer. Yes. It was my payback. So nothing goes without payment, I guess. It was all over the press. It was everywhere. And you know, you're trying to. You're trying to minimize everybody's pain. You end up maximizing it. I kind of. I kind of know how our marriage works.

[Unknown]

And do you think it could change?

[Teddi Mellencamp]

I think if I was willing to change, but I don't think I am anymore.

[Unknown]

What do you mean when you say too that you had resentment, he had cheated?

[Teddi Mellencamp]

I think it wasn't necessarily the act. It was. I'm not saying that I didn't make huge mistakes and my marriage post that, but that broke me. I never really opened up about it. A financial thing was why the person was coming forward. And that was like even more heart wrenching because I was like, you'd be willing to do this to my family for money? And not even a lot of it. Disgusting. And I had to. I had to. I had to beg Edwin to want to stay with me. I had to beg him. I don't think he was in love with me at that point. I think we've gone through times in our marriage where we've been madly in love with each other, but that wasn't one of those times. I've never talked about it at all. Were you in love with her? If I didn't beg you, would you have stayed with me? If I didn't book the show, would you have stayed with me? If I didn't start making money, would you have stayed with me? Do you even love me now? Are there other people? My actual soul to soul relationship with God, I don't know if I don't know how to get it to where it needs to be. And that's just an honest answer, you know, like, I believe in God. I believe he's protecting me. I believe that I'm going to heal. I also believe how come sometimes the people involved with God, some of the most hurtful things. I talk to God every night before I go to bed and I talk to God in the morning. I mean, I have conversations with God and I tell God how afraid I am. And I just want to keep being positive and I just want to be okay. And I believe that he feels that way too.

[Unknown]

Have you dated anyone since? Or gone on any dates?

[Teddi Mellencamp]

I'm On Hinge.

[Unknown]

You're on Hinge?

[Teddi Mellencamp]

I'm on Hinge right now. Right now. But I changed my age range, and now I don't know that I can be on Hinge.

[Unknown]

Why do you use your real name on Hinge?

[Teddi Mellencamp]

It just says Teddi. My hinge is about to blow up. By the way, Raya, why didn't you let me in?

[Unknown]

Do you use your photo, Your real photo, and Teddy?

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Yes.

[Unknown]

On Hinge?

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Yes.

[Unknown]

If Edwin asked you on a date, what would you say? It's interesting you're calling it a break, too.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Well, I don't know what to call. What do you call it? What do you call it when you're on a divorce and then somebody gets cancer, almost passes away, so then you have to put it on hold. Hold. Hold. Sounds worse than break.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

There's no good answer. I mean, I could just say husband, but then people are like, you're. You're married? Well, yes, but, I mean, that's not. That's not gonna fit on my Hinge profile.

[Unknown]

No.

[Jamie Kern Lima]

Our incredible guest today, Teddi Mellencamp, is a television personality who rose to fame on the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. She's also the co host of the wildly popular podcast called two T's in a Pod. Daughter of musician John Mellencamp, a mom to her beloved little ones, Slate, Cruz and Dove. She's also the stepmother to Isabella, and I'm so grateful to call her friend as her impact and following continues to explode. She's also going through the unimaginable and the fight of her life in this very moment right now. Teddi was recently diagnosed with stage four melanoma, which she shared has metastasized to her brain and lungs. And today's episode of the podcast is unlike any any before. So get your tissues out and get ready to feel overwhelming gratitude and perspective for the blessings in your life right now that can be so easy for us to take for granted when we have them. And, of course, we have a little fun, too. And get the inside scoop on what really happens behind the scenes of your favorite reality TV shows and so much more. Whether today you're listening for yourself or because something, someone you love shared this episode with you. I want to welcome you to the Jamie Kern Lee Michelle podcast family. Thank you so much for being here. And can you take two seconds and hit the subscribe or follow button on the app? You're listening or watching on it truly means so much to me. You can also get inspiration into your inbox from me for free. You can join my newsletter [e-mail] and this incredible podcast episode today, it's not just for you and me. Please share this with every single person that you know who might need some inspiration today or perhaps a boost in their self belief. Because what you're about to hear can truly impact mine, yours, and their lives too.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Welcome to the Jamie Kern Lima Show.

[Unknown]

Oprah, how have you defied the odds?

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Her show is unlike any I've ever done. A revelation. When you listen, it feels like a hug. But your brain and your spirit and your heart is like, wow.

[Jamie Kern Lima]

Melinda French Gates.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

When I look into Jamie's eyes, I feel like I am on some other cosmic level with her. I could see the light around her. She's infused with light.

[Jamie Kern Lima]

Imagine overcoming self doubt. Learning to believe in yourself and trust yourself and know. Know you are enough. Welcome to the Jamie Kern Lima Show.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Jamie Kern Lima is her name. Everybody needs Jamie Kern Lima in their life. Jamie Kern Lima. Jamie, you're so inspiring. Jamie Kern Lima. I talked to my therapist about it. I'm like, if I feel the urge, if I get asked on a date or if somebody wants to. To take me out, she's like, you should go. She's like, anything that you want to do right now and you feel in your heart that you want to do, do it, she's like, it could even be. It could be a date with. If he asked you on a date and you wanted to go, nobody's setting any rules for you. But, like, right now, I'm not in that place. I'm not wanting that from him. I just want him to be happy, and I want our kids to be happy, and I want us to be able to have a good friendship and relationship. And I don't want to do anything to hurt him, but I don't know that I need to. Like, I kind of know how our marriage works.

[Unknown]

And do you think it could change?

[Teddi Mellencamp]

I think if I was willing to change, but I don't think I am anymore.

[Unknown]

What do you mean?

[Teddi Mellencamp]

I think I would. The old me would have gone above and beyond to do anything to make sure that he can go to this event or that I could attend this with him or that we could go on this trip, that I would be home by this time because that would make it more convenient for him and the kids or whatever it may be. And I don't have. I'm not like that anymore.

[Unknown]

Mm.

Do you think he could change for you or would.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

I think he has changed certain things. I think by Being in the hospital with me, by taking me to the hospital, by learning from doctors, because I think if this would have happened three years ago when this first was diagnosed, and he would have had more of a. A kindness to him about it and not. Well, it's only stage two. Not many people die from stage two of cancer. You know, like those types of things that just men say out of passing or that their friends say to them and so they repeat. Maybe. I don't know for sure, but maybe I would have responded differently, but I had already had resentment by then. I don't want to explain it to you. Go online and look it up. I don't want to explain to you why I'm scared that I have stage two cancer. I don't want to explain to you why I'm afraid that I don't have health, you know, like, life insurance. I don't want to explain to you. I still, to this day, whether it's him or someone else, like, I don't want to explain to you why. Now it's now that my thyroid's messed up, that I'm having some different medical issues. And it's because when you're on immunotherapy, it attacks different parts of your body. So now all of a sudden, I have either hypo or hypair. I can't remember which one it is. Thyroidism. And I couldn't figure out why I was shaking so much. So then I had to go back to that. But it's like, once I tell you what the diagnosis is, either call my doctor, talk to me a little bit, only if it's with love. Like, I just. I don't have the patience for it. And then I get annoyed.

[Unknown]

Mm.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

And I don't know that that will change once I don't have cancer, because I know I can do it. I know I can. If somebody tells me something about them and it's not something they want to talk about, I can research it. Heck, I do it every single day on the podcast.

[Unknown]

Mm.

When you say, too, that you had resentment. And I know this has come out now, which is why I'm gonna ask.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

You.

[Unknown]

Was it when he had cheated?

[Jamie Kern Lima]

It's been reported in the press that nearly 10 years ago, just before Teddi and Edwin made their debut on the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Teddi discovered Edwin had been having an affair with one of her close friends at the time. The couple decided to stay together, and Teddy says Edwin had remained faithful in their marriage ever since.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

I think it wasn't necessarily the act.

[Unknown]

And was it with your best friend or a good friend?

[Teddi Mellencamp]

It was with somebody I knew. Yeah, it was with somebody I knew. And, I mean, I'm not saying that I didn't make huge mistakes in my marriage post that, but that broke me. That was the first time in my life where I was like, how will I show up every day with a smile on my face and raise these kids and be this perfect wife and start a television show and become somebody that people like or they think are funny? Or people will say, why do you seem different than when you were on your first season of Housewives? Like, when we listened to your podcast and I never really opened up about it, but that's why. That's what I was going through my first season on Housewives. That's what I was going through. So people say, oh, you seem kind of quiet or you're kind of passive, but that's not really who you are. I was like, well, I wasn't faking who I was. I was coping. I was coping. And I was so scared that someone was going to find out and ruin my family's life.

[Unknown]

Mm.

Did you tell anybody? Did anyone know?

[Teddi Mellencamp]

My best friend that I told the day it happened. My. Like, I have one, I went and stayed at her house the day that it happened and. Or the day I found out. And ultimately, you know, it came down to, like, a financial thing, was why the person was coming forward. And that was, like, even more heart wrenching because I was like, you'd be willing to do this to my family for money? And not even a lot of it. Disgusting.

[Unknown]

Did you find out? Because that person came forward.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

That person called me. That person called me and told me. And it was a couple days before filming.

[Unknown]

Of your first season.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Of my first season. And I had to. I had to. I had to beg Edwin to want to stay with me. I had to beg him. I don't think he was in love with me at that point. I think we've gone through times in our marriage where we've been madly in love with each other, but that wasn't one of those times. And there was a while that I thought, maybe I'll leave, and then it got better. But I think people oftentimes think that if this happens in a marriage, even if it's reversed, which, you know, people have said a lot of different things about me too, is that you're doing it because you don't have care for other people in your life. Sometimes you just don't have enough care for Yourself. Sometimes you just don't have enough care for yourself to do its best. And it's not trying to hurt other people. I don't think Edwin was trying to hurt me. I don't think throughout any of the mistakes I've made throughout my life, I've been trying to hurt my family or Edwin or, of course not my kids. But people don't make these conversations open very often because everybody's scared of being judged when most of the time, a lot of people are affected by it. And, I mean, I.1 million percent have done many things in my life that I wish I could turn back time. And there's some things that I can say I needed to do that to move on.

[Unknown]

Can you talk about this? Was everywhere in the press, so the horse trainer.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Yeah. I've never talked about it at all, just because of the kids. And I've never wanted anybody to have, you know, a guarantee whether it happened or didn't happen. But what I can say is, did I do things that hurt other people? Yes. To this day, does it still hurt my heart, And I wonder if that's why I got cancer. Yes. Like, it was my payback. So nothing goes without payment, I guess. But, yeah, the entire. That entire. However long it was that it was all over the press, it was everywhere. And, you know, you're trying to. You're trying to minimize everybody's pain. You end up maximizing it. Whereas if you feel like you could just open up, because now not only do you have yourself, you have your significant other, your kids, the other person's significant other, their kids. I mean, so many people are hurt in the wreckage. But I can say this from knowing the wreckage doesn't happen on its own.

[Unknown]

Mm.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

It never had happened to me.

[Unknown]

What do you mean?

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Like, I think I was so broken as a human being during that part of my life that I did things out of my better judgment.

[Unknown]

You know, earlier you mentioned sometimes you do things and you regret it. Sometimes you do things because you needed to. To. To go to that next place or to. And do you think that that season was. Because it was something you needed to then go to the next season or.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

I think I was so sick during that stage because. Remember how I told you there was, like, months of headaches and stuff like that? I was looking for comfort anywhere I could get it. I felt so much pain. I felt so sick. I didn't go to the doctors. I didn't. And I just felt some certain kind of way, and the pain was so much that I had gotten to the point of like almost hating waking up in the morning, which I had never been that kind of person. I noticed things about myself that just like I would just I wasn't myself. And I'm not gonna blame that. I was sick. But I do think a bunch of things happened in my life all around the same time and I had zero control of any of them. Like I just was running around like a chicken with my head cut off. Will this make me feel better? No. Will this? Will this? Will this? Will this? Will this?

[Unknown]

How is your. How is your faith? How's your relationship with God? Through this. And right now.

[Jamie Kern Lima]

We need to pause for a super brief break. And while we do, take a moment and share this episode with every single person that you know who this could inspire. Because this conversation can truly be the words and inspiration that they need to hear today to keep going, to remember that they matter, and to feel less alone and more enough, more connected and more worthy. In life you don't soar to the level of your hopes and dreams. You stay stuck at the level of your self worth. When you build your self worth, you change your entire life. And that's exactly why I wrote my new book, Worthy how to believe you are enough and transform your life for you. If you have some self doubt to destroy and a destiny to fulfill, Worthy is for you. In Worthy, you'll learn proven tools and simple steps that bring life changing results. Like how to get unstuck from the things holding you back, build unshakable self love, unlearn the lies that lead to self doubt and embrace the truths that wake up worthiness, overcome limiting beliefs and imposter syndrome, achieve your hopes and dreams by believing you are worthy of them and so much more. Are you ready to unleash your greatness and step into the person you were born to be? Imagine a life with zero self doubt and unshakable self worth. Get your copy of Worthy plus some amazing thank you bonus gifts for [e-mail] or the link in the show notes below. Imagine what you do if you fully believed in you. It's time to find out. With Worthy, who you spend time around is so important as energy is contagious and so is self belief. And I'd love to hang out with you even more. Especially if you could use an extra dose of inspiration. Which is exactly why I've created my free weekly newsletter that's also a love letter to you delivered straight to your inbox each and every Tuesday morning from me. If you haven't signed up to make sure that you get it each week. Just go to jamiekernlima.com to make sure you're on the list and you'll get your one on one with Jamie Weekly newsletter and get ready to believe in you. If you're tired of hearing the bad news every single day and need some inspiration, some tips, tools, joy and love hitting your inbox. I'm your girl. [e-mail] or in the link in the show Notes do you struggle with negative self talk? Living with a constant mental narrative that you're not good enough is exhausting. I know because I spent most of my life in that habit. The words you say to yourself about yourself are so powerful and when you learn to take control over your self talk, it's life changing and I wanted to give you a free resource that I created for you if this is something that could benefit your Life. It's called 5 Ways to Overcome Negative Self Talk and Build self Love and it's a free how to guide to overcome that negative self talk to build confidence and develop unshakable self love so that you can dream big and keep going in the pursuit of your goals. Don't let self sabotaging thoughts hinder your progress any longer. It's time to rewrite the script of your life, one filled with self love, resilience and unwavering belief. If you're ready to take charge of your narrative, build unwavering confidence and empower yourself to persevere on the path to your dreams. You can grab your free guide to stop overthinking and learn to trust yourself@jamie kernlima.com resources or click the link in the show notes below. And now more of this incredible conversation together.

[Unknown]

How is your how is your faith? How's your relationship with God? Through this and right now?

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Do you want me to be honest about this? Okay, My faith took a turn. Not my faith, but my relationship with God took a turn. I went to a couples therapy where we went out of town and this is when I think I was fighting for my marriage the most. And I felt like it took away the last couple bits of fight that I had left in me. And I wondered, how is this possible? How is this possible? This is supposed to be that moment that we're going to be able to change things. I'd already had the, you know, the first cancer thing. I hadn't had the brain cancer yet. You know, the past stuff with Edwin. That damage was way done, but I still needed to move on And I remember sitting there and talking to the person and saying, in order to move on, I need to know what happened. I need to know every bit of the story. And I remember him looking at me and saying, no, you don't. And I remember thinking in that moment, if this is the person Edwin is going to, we will never change. Because he doesn't see me as the same. And it's heartbreaking. I knew that day we sat out on the beach that day everybody left early. When we sat out on the beach and we played pickleball, that was our best day there. We got to laugh and have fun and remember what we liked about each other. But still, at the very end, I asked, please tell me exactly what happened.

[Unknown]

With the affair.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

And he said, you even heard, you don't need to know. It's only going to hurt you. You can only hear that so many times.

[Unknown]

And did that. What did that mean to you that made you know, this is done because.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Somebody I had been asking for however many years, seven years, maybe more. I mean, I've been asking almost now it's been 10 years. But I had asked so many times what the details were. I needed to understand how it started. I needed. Like, there were certain things I don't need to know, like the actual serious physical things, but I needed to know the mental side of it. How did you start talking to this person? What was the first time? Were you in love with her? If I didn't beg you, would you have stayed with me? If I didn't book the show, would you have stayed with me? If I didn't start making money, would you have stayed with me? Do you even love me now? Are there other people I don't know?

[Unknown]

He would answer you.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

He would probably answer me. Present day, but I still don't know that we would ever talk about her.

[Unknown]

And is it something inside of you that just needs to know?

[Teddi Mellencamp]

I don't need to know anymore. I don't need to know anymore. And that's the first time in however many years I haven't needed to know. Just something in me went, you don't need to know. And I don't need to know if it's the truth. I don't need to know if it's a lie. I don't need to know anything. And that gives me peace.

[Unknown]

Did that change your relationship with God?

[Teddi Mellencamp]

I don't think it changed my relationship with God. It changed my relationship to how I'm in a communication with God. Like, I don't. My support system is now not through the church. I have a lot of very close friends that are very close in the church that talk to me a lot about this and help me. And I also have somebody who is very faith based. That's my therapist. But my actual soul to soul relationship with God, I don't know if I don't know how to get it to where it needs to be. And that's just an honest answer, you know, like, I believe in God. I believe he's protecting me. I believe that I'm going to heal. I also believe how come sometimes the people involved with God do some of the most hurtful things and it's really hard for someone like me. Everything's a certain way, you know, like, I've definitely loosened up. I mean, I used to not even be able to give hugs. The fact that I can even do that now is a big step up. But I'm trying. I think I'm a learning process. And I think through all of this, I'm trying to find happiness. I'm trying to find the right way and trying to believe that things happen for a reason.

[Unknown]

Do you, do you believe that and also in your relationship with God, do you doubt God exists ever?

[Teddi Mellencamp]

I don't doubt God exists. I would say I don't put the time and effort I should into my relationship with God. And it's because, and I'm not blaming. I haven't put the time and the effort I need to into my relationship with God. I think there comes a lot of. When you've known people that are super religious and you see certain sides, then for me it can be a pull away because then I see them being humans.

[Unknown]

Mm. Mm.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

And that's hard for me to decipher.

[Unknown]

Has your diagnosis, and in particular the one most recently in April of stage four, has that. Have you had a conversation with God about that?

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Oh, I've had many conversations with God about it. I mean, I talk to him. I talk to God every night before I go to bed and I talk to God in the morning. I mean, I have conversations with God and I tell God how afraid I am. And I just want to keep being positive and I just want to be okay. And I believe that he feels that way too. And so they're just small conversations. But it's definitely, you know, it's one of those things where you do your best. I hope that my kids build more of a belief in people and God than I have. Like, it's very hard for me to trust myself, other people, God.

[Unknown]

Because of what you've gone through.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

So we can go back a million more years. We don't have that kind of time, but it's been a lot.

[Unknown]

Yeah. When things we do not wish upon anyone happen to us, things that we would never, ever want in a million years.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Do you.

[Unknown]

Is there any part of you that believes or I guess just has faith that even though it doesn't make sense, even though it's awful like it's happening for me, I'm gonna come out of this.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Yeah. I mean, that's how I believe this is happening. Like, I. Before I was diagnosed with the, you know, the one in my. The eight in my. Or the nine in my chest and my lungs and all that, I was really in a poor place. And I think my spiral would have gone down in a different way because of, you know, things that were going on in my marriage and our life. And then that kind of happened. And it forced all of us to take a breath and remember what's important.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

It forced all of us to go, hey, guys, you've all made mistakes. Take a breath. This is not the priority here. This is.

[Unknown]

Have there been things you've decided I'm just going to forgive?

[Teddi Mellencamp]

I think, yeah. I mean, throughout my life, I think there's certain things that I gonna forgive. I would say there's also certain things that, like, I don't know, that I'm angry about. I think I have a lot of figuring out still to do. And I feel like so much of my life I've done this because people expect me to be a certain way. And part of all this is learning, like, I gotta be just the way that I am. You know, I'm not the best spoken half the time. I'm gonna make mistakes. I'm gonna say this, I'm gonna say that. But I can also be really fun and loving and kind, and that's kind of who I am. And I've had to be a little bit more take me or leave me.

[Unknown]

Mm.

Do you feel more free?

[Teddi Mellencamp]

I feel more free. I mean, I don't even look anymore what people say about me on social media. It's a daily occurrence, some new massive thing. And I'm like, I removed Google alerts. I stopped looking at all of those things because, I mean, I was so confused on how much time to be on social media when I was in the hospital getting brain surgery that I was like, should I post this? And Kyle was like, absolutely not. What do you mean, should you post this? Like, it just becomes such, like, a part of your Life. And like, there were parts that I just couldn't even believe that I would even consider doing.

[Unknown]

Is it cause you're so trained to like, yeah, you were so public.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Yeah, so public. And so like keeping people in the loop of what's going on. And people are not going to wonder where I've been for blah, blah, blah. And then finally it took like an entire team of people to be like, teddy, we'll all come up with a plan to share. You don't need to be in the hospital. Not fully comprehensive to what's going on, sharing any of this. Sit here and heal. You know, like people always say, well, then why do you do a podcast where you talk about people for a living? I'm like, I'm recapping a reality television show. Don't take it so seriously. And if you do, I hope you really enjoy it because, like, that's really what it is. It's a reality television show.

[Unknown]

So with this whole shift you shared earlier, you are dating someone recently, which I know what you're talking about because I saw it come out on Page Six and I think it came out in a bunch of places. And you were saying, by the time y' all and the press were talking about it, I had already broken up with that person. Right. Is that what happened? And, and of course, anything that you do, if you breathe and you smile, people have an opinion on everything. Right. That's the world that we're in nowadays. And I read a quote where you said, I just don't want anything serious right now.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Well, I think right now there's only so many days where I'm gonna feel my best or feel my strongest and I don't know them until later. So I can't be in a place where I need to be planning, helping somebody else plan out their life or their day to day activities. Like if it all just works and it's company and it doesn't, great. But I'm not looking to, like, I don't have any plans, like getting married again or doing these things right now. Like, I'm just trying to beat this thing.

[Unknown]

Yeah. And you want.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

And I think that's the biggest thing. And I don't have any ill will towards the guy I was dating. Poor thing that I'm like, sorry, tried to warn you.

[Unknown]

He's really private. Right. And he asks everywhere. Yeah.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

I'm like, sorry about it. But there was never anything negative about it. It was more just like on the days I feel good right now, that's all I got yeah.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

And I'm sorry.

[Unknown]

Did he want it more serious?

[Teddi Mellencamp]

And so he didn't necessarily say, but I could feel it.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

But such a good person. And so, like, you know, maybe at a different time in my life, like, such a nice guy. So, like, caring, helpful, and you. There are certain personality types that are caregivers. And, like, he was so excellent at it. But then I just started feeling, like, almost, like, bad. Like, I was like, I need. I need to make sure that I'm in the same. Hold on. How do I phrase this? I didn't want it to get to a point where he was more serious than me. And then I had to end it in a way that was dramatic. I have enough dramatics in my life.

[Unknown]

Mm. Mm.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

I have enough.

[Unknown]

Mm.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

If I can catch. But the people that send me messages and, like, how dare you ever go on a date. You have. You have this, you have that. I'm like, guys, we all gotta do what just makes us happy in the moment. Let's try. As long as we're not hurting anyone, like, it's. There's gotta be a happy medium. We can't be so judgmental of everything that everybody does because we don't know what people are going through.

[Unknown]

Yes. Have you dated anyone since or gone on any dates?

[Teddi Mellencamp]

No. I mean, I'm on Hinge.

[Unknown]

You're on Hinge?

[Teddi Mellencamp]

I'm on Hinge right now. Right now. But I changed my age range, and now I don't know that I can be on Hinge.

[Unknown]

Why?

[Teddi Mellencamp]

I changed it to older. I was like, maybe I need to be with. Maybe I need to be with somebody older because I don't know. This was just a theory. And then I put it older, and then I was, like, getting all these messages, and I was like, nope, this is not what I need. Not what I need. They send too long of messages. They write hahas.

[Unknown]

I was gonna say, I would think you'd go younger if you want, like, nothing super serious.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Well, that's. Well, I was thinking once somebody's married and had. Because it has happened twice to me where two people that I've dated said they didn't want kids, said they didn't want to get married, and then all of a sudden, there's a flip around I would. I never said I wouldn't. It's just not something on my radar. Well, no, no. It's on nobody's radar when they're single. But I was asking for a reason.

[Unknown]

Do you use your real name on Hinge?

[Teddi Mellencamp]

It just says Teddy My hinge is about to blow up, by the way. Rya, why didn't you let me in? Ah.

[Jamie Kern Lima]

Okay.

[Unknown]

Do you use your photo? Your real photo and Teddy.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Yes.

[Unknown]

On hinge.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Yes. Where else am I gonna go to meet somebody? Like, what, am I gonna text you and be like, hey, do you know anyone good for me. Like, everybody I know knows Edwin.

[Unknown]

Right.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

I wanna be respectful to him. I don't need to be like, hey, Edwin met the guy you played Pickle with three weeks ago. It's a cute one, but we do laugh about this stuff. He's like, the other day, I came in and I had flowers in my room. And he's like, did somebody send you flowers? I'm like, yeah, look what it says. And it says, the secret love, your secret admirer. And he goes, what? And I go, it's from the kids because I asked them for red flowers.

[Unknown]

So. Okay. So you said you'd be fine if Edwin dated.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Yes. When my.

[Unknown]

You feel nothing.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

I also don't. It's not even that I feel nothing, but it's like, why am I getting all the wrath? Like, where's Edwin's. Like, nobody's tracked down who he could potentially be dating, but they're on me. I breathe on someone, and that's my new boyfriend.

[Unknown]

Mm.

Yeah.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Erica was so funny. She's like, it's. Cause they don't care about the guys.

[Unknown]

I tell you, I think people are harder on women.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

For sure. Yeah.

[Unknown]

Every woman who's ever, you know, had a public role of any kind or a government role or anything. I definitely think people are harder on women with. So if Edwin asked you on a date, what would you say?

[Teddi Mellencamp]

If my kids were there or not? My kids? Both.

[Unknown]

Either way.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Okay. A personal date. One on one. Like, can we go on a date? I would say no. But if he said, do you want to go to dinner with the kids? I would say yes. Or if he said, do you want to go to dinner? I would say yes. But if he made it like it was a date, I would say no. I think both of us, regardless of where the future holds, I think both of us need this time. And I. And I was always one of those people before, believe me, back in the day, when he didn't really want to be with me, I did not believe in breaks. Yeah, but now you know. I don't know. I don't know anything. All I've learned from all of this is I don't know anything. Yeah, I know. I got to just one foot in front of the other day by day.

[Unknown]

Well, it's interesting you're calling it a break too.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

Well, I don't know what to call. What do you call it. What do you call it when you're on a divorce and then somebody gets cancer, almost passes away, so then you have to put it on hold. Hold. Hold. Sounds worse than break.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Teddi Mellencamp]

There's no good answer. I mean, I could just say husband, but then people are like, you're married. Well, yes, but I mean, that's not going to fit on my hinge profile. No, it's.

[Unknown]

That's so funny.

[Jamie Kern Lima]

This conversation with Teddi Mellencamp is so powerful and vulnerable and inspiring. We made it into three parts. Coming up, we're lightening things up around here. Teddi is sharing what really happens behind the scenes on your favorite reality TV shows and how much of it is really real. Plus her best tools and tips on how to navigate online criticism and her hard earned wisdom on how best help your friends and loved ones navigate hard things in their lives. And so much more. Teddi is opening up like never before in this final part three of this conversation. Coming up in the next episode of the Jamie Kern Lima Show. Remember, this episode's not just for you and me. Please share this with every single person that you know because it can be the impact and change that they need in their life too. And if you love today's episode, click on the Follow or Subscribe button for the show on the app that you're listen to it on or watching it on. And if it added value to your life, if you could please give it a rating or review, I'd be so grateful. And again, share it with everyone that you believe in. Share it with another person in your life who could benefit from it. Maybe someone you know is going through a struggle or a hard time too and they're just trying to keep the faith. Please share it with others online or in your community who just might need the words and tools and lessons in this episode today. You never know whose life you are meant to change today by sharing this episode. And thank you so much for joining me today. Before you go, I want to share some words with you that couldn't be more true. You right now, exactly as you are, are enough and fully worthy. You're worthy of your greatest hopes, your wildest dreams and all the unconditional love in the world. And it's an honor to welcome you to each and every episode of the Jamie Kern Lima show here. I hope you'll come as you are heal where you need. Blossom what you choose, journey toward your calling and stay as long as you'd like because you belong here. You are worthy, you are loved, you are love and I love you and I cannot wait to join you on the next episode of the Jamie Kern Lima Show. In life, you don't soar to the level of your hopes and dreams. You stay stuck at the level of your self worth. When you build your self worth, you change your entire life. And that's exactly why I wrote my new book Worthy how to believe you are enough and transform your life for you. If you have some self doubt to destroy and a destiny to fulfill, Worthy is for you. In Worthy, you'll learn proven tools and simple steps that bring life changing results like how to get unstuck from the things holding you back, build unshakable self love, unlearn the lies that lead to self doubt and embrace the truths that wake up worthiness, overcome limiting beliefs and imposter syndrome. Achieve your hopes and dreams by believing you are worthy of them and so much more. Are you ready to unleash your greatness and step into the person you were born to be? Imagine a life with zero self doubt and unshakable self worth. Get your copy of Worthy plus some amazing thank you bonus gifts for [e-mail] or the link in the show notes below. Imagine what you'd do if you fully believed in you. It's time to find out. With Worthy, who you spend time around is so important as energy is contagious and so is self belief. And I'd love to hang out with you even more, especially if you could use an extra dose of inspiration. Which is exactly why I've created my free weekly newsletter that's also a love letter to you delivered straight to your inbox from me. If you haven't signed up to make sure that you get it each week, just go to jamiekernlima.com to make sure you're on the list and you'll get your one on one with Jamie Weekly Newsletter Newsletter and get ready to believe in you if you're tired of hearing the bad news every single day and need some inspiration, some tips, tools, joy and love hitting your inbox. I'm your girl. [e-mail] or in the link in the show notes. And please note, I'm not a licensed therapist and this podcast is not intended as a substitute and for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist or other qualified professional.