The Jamie Kern Lima Show

Episode: The Secret to Your Best Life! Ignite Hope & Embrace the Miracle of Being Alive with Nicole Avant!
Host: Jamie Kern Lima
Guest: Nicole Avant
Date: December 2, 2025

Episode Overview

In this deeply inspiring episode, Jamie Kern Lima sits down with Nicole Avant—award-winning producer, philanthropist, former US Ambassador, and bestselling author of Think You'll Be Happy?—for a conversation about overcoming self-doubt, living with gratitude, and navigating both triumphs and unimaginable loss. Together, they explore how to ignite hope, stay grounded amid chaos, and remember to truly live, even during life’s hardest moments.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Intuition, Energy, and Discernment in Relationships

Timestamps: 00:00–03:36; 33:04–36:08

• On discernment and reading people: Nicole explains how her experience as a waitress sharpened her intuition for people’s energy and intentions.
  • "My energy reader is really good. Energy speaks volumes more than words because vibration tells me everything." —Nicole (00:14)
• Both reflect on how serving others built a 'detector' for authentic versus transactional relationships.
• Jamie relates with her own experience as a waitress, underscoring how service roles foster discernment and empathy.
• ATM Analogy: Nicole compares relationships to an ATM—some people make deposits, others just withdrawals (10:14–11:47).
  • "If you look at yourself like an ATM, some people are always going to make deposits, some only going to withdraw. You want more people depositing." —Nicole
• Quote: "At the end of the day...who I've been looking for? It’s me, you know?" —Nicole (11:48)

2. Losing Yourself and Reconnecting to Self

Timestamps: 09:08–14:04; 12:47–14:47

• Many women, especially in their 20s, begin losing touch with their intuition while caretaking for others.
• Nicole shares: "You lose yourself, then you feel so guilty… You miss yourself. Your spirit, your soul. There’s nothing wrong with taking care of everyone—but you must take care of yourself, too." (12:47)
• She describes the sadness and exhaustion of self-betrayal when her own needs were always last, and the process of reclaiming her intuition and self-worth.
• Jamie underscores: "A lot of people...don't even know who they are anymore, how to hear their own intuition..." (12:10)

3. Anchoring in Gratitude and Living with Intention

Timestamps: 19:52–24:45; 40:04–43:06

• Nicole talks about the importance of appreciating the simple things in life daily, even if it’s a ten-minute morning routine of gratitude.
• Her mother’s experience—never taking a weekend to herself for 50 years—illuminates the generational patterns women inherit (14:04–19:52).
• Nicole calls for carving out time for oneself, no matter how small: "Whatever you can do for yourself, 10 extra minutes in the morning—it makes the biggest difference in the world." —Nicole (19:52)
• The ongoing theme: Life is a privilege and should be honored through intentional living and self-care.

4. The Evolution of Friendship & Connection

Timestamps: 25:56–30:00

• Nicole discusses how her friendship circle has evolved; childhood friends have become more important, and she values both male and female energy.
• COVID brought her back to her core tribe—people who feel like home, who ground her.
• She reflects on the importance of purposeful, soulful connections that are not based on fame or superficiality.

5. The Foundation Laid by Childhood and Family

Timestamps: 29:03–31:07; 43:06–47:00

• Nicole’s parents instilled competition, resilience, and perspective in her from an early age—making her ready for wins and losses.
  • "You need to learn how to compete. How to lose, even after you’ve tried your best… that is going to happen to you in life." —Nicole, relaying advice from her mother (29:03)
• Jamie praises Nicole’s family for preparing her for the road, not the other way around.
• Nicole reflects: "My mom was very focused on happiness, the difference between being a happy soul versus being happy all the time." (67:36)

6. Faith as an Anchor

Timestamps: 50:01–52:34; 56:22–57:23

• Both discuss the necessity of faith or being anchored in something greater than oneself, especially in the face of loss or when roles and external identities shift.
• "If you’re not anchored in anything, you’re floating all over and have no discernment… My faith has kept me sane, grounded, focused." —Nicole (40:04; 56:22)
• Jamie notes how faith shapes resilience, especially when former sources of meaning (roles, titles, fame) are lost.

7. Turning Tragedy into Purpose: The Loss of Jacqueline Avant

Timestamps: 61:17–67:36

• Nicole shares the devastating loss of her mother in December 2021 and how her mother’s last words, "Think You’ll Be Happy," became both a personal mantra and the title of her memoir.
• The aftermath was a crucible for faith, resilience, and leadership—Nicole describes rising up for her family, stepping into the matriarchal role, and choosing to stand in faith:
  • "You sat up like this phoenix. There was this spirit within you taking over—a light." —Nicole, as described by her husband Ted (61:52)
• Her story is a testament to grace under tragedy and the importance of honoring, not avoiding, grief.

8. Healing Parent-Child Relationships & Intergenerational Wisdom

Timestamps: 86:54–91:36

• Nicole shares a moving story about confronting her mother about not being emotionally expressive with "I love you"s:
  • "She said, this is my first time doing this too. I showed you love with my actions. I did the best that I could." —Nicole (88:53)
• Jamie shares her own story of healing an early wound with her birth mother, emphasizing vulnerability and asking for what you deeply need, no matter your age.
• The conversation underscores the importance of honest conversations, owning needs, and understanding that parents are imperfect humans too:
  • "Everyone's trying to be better...My mom did better than her mom. If it’s evolving, you’re in a good place." —Nicole (91:58)

9. Choosing and Declaring Commitment in Relationships

Timestamps: 78:38–82:04

• After loss and massive change, Nicole and her husband Ted declared, out loud, their intention to stay together no matter what—a conscious, courageous act:
  • "We are staying together, no matter what. If we didn't declare it and look at each other in the eyes, anything could’ve really happened...It’s a decision.” —Nicole (79:32)
• Jamie reflects on how this kind of declaration creates safety and lasting commitment through even the hardest times.

10. The Power of Vibration and Mindset

Timestamps: 70:03–73:22

• Nicole’s mother taught her the 'radio station' analogy for vibration: that you can change your internal state by changing your thoughts, words, and what you tune into.
• “You have to think of yourself as a radio station—what are you emitting? If you don’t like it, change your thoughts, change your words.” —Nicole (70:07)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "I want people to walk away feeling hopeful or inspired...Because life is a privilege and living is a privilege." —Nicole Avant (06:09)
• "If you lose yourself, then you feel so guilty. You miss yourself. Your spirit, your soul. There’s nothing wrong with taking care of everyone—but you must take care of yourself, too." —Nicole Avant (12:47)
• "My faith has kept me sane, my faith has kept me grounded, my faith has kept me focused." —Nicole Avant (40:04)
• "The seeds I plant today—that’s my garden six months or a year from now." —Nicole Avant (24:45)
• "Think You’ll Be Happy.” Those were her last words to me...She was very big on happiness, and she knew the difference of being a happy soul versus a happy person all the time." —Nicole Avant (67:35)
• "You can’t have growth without challenge. You can’t learn about boundaries until someone tests yours." —Nicole Avant (51:21)
• "This is my first time doing this, too." —Nicole Avant, quoting her mother, on the experience of being a parent (88:53)
• "After loss, we declared: we are staying together, no matter what. It’s a decision." —Nicole Avant (79:32)

Important Timestamps by Segment

• Intuition & Discernment: 00:14, 33:04, 40:04
• ATM Analogy (Relationships): 10:14, 11:47, 23:31
• Losing and Reclaiming Self: 09:08, 12:47
• Generational Patterns & Gratitude: 14:04, 19:52
• Friendship Evolution: 25:56
• Preparing Kids for the Road: 43:06
• Faith as Anchor: 40:04, 56:22
• Tragedy & Resilience: 61:17, 67:36
• Matriarch Moment: 73:35–74:50
• Commitment in Marriage: 78:38–82:04
• Parent Healing Conversation: 86:54–91:36

Flow and Tone

The conversation is heartfelt, honest, and empowering, blending deep vulnerability with wisdom. Nicole brings gravitas and grace, offering actionable insights and hard-won perspective, while Jamie is open, supportive, and unafraid to share her own journey, mirroring the audience’s voice.

Core Takeaways

• Discernment and energy are vital in every relationship.
• Root yourself in gratitude and faith to weather life’s storms.
• Prioritize your health, soul, and self-worth to serve others better.
• Declare and choose the relationships and life you want, especially in hard times.
• Embrace honest, vulnerable conversations to heal intergenerational pain.
• Accept and move through hardship by first facing reality—then deciding how to show up.
• We are all a work in progress, and it’s never too late to reclaim your joy or make amends.

Final Thought

This episode leaves listeners with a clear message: Even in the darkest moments, you can choose hope, resilience, and deep gratitude for the miracle of being alive. Through faith, self-awareness, and a willingness to live—messy, honest, and all in—you can ignite the best in yourself and become a light for others.