Podcast Summary: The Jamie Kern Lima Show

Episode: Your Past Doesn’t Define Your Future! Transform Your Life & Create Your Comeback w/ Chris Appleton
Host: Jamie Kern Lima
Guest: Chris Appleton
Date: January 22, 2026

Overview

In this deeply vulnerable and inspiring episode, Jamie Kern Lima sits down with world-renowned celebrity hairstylist Chris Appleton to explore themes of self-worth, overcoming past wounds, and the journey to living authentically. Chris shares his powerful personal story of growing up feeling different and unworthy, battling shame, grappling with sexuality, and ultimately learning to embrace who he truly is. Together, Jamie and Chris offer listeners concrete tools for facing their own inner critic, stepping into self-love, and creating their own comeback—no matter where they’re starting from.

Main Themes

• Your Past Doesn’t Define You: How childhood labels and experiences shape us, but do not have to limit our future.
• Universal Self-Doubt: Even the most glamorous celebrities struggle with feelings of not-enoughness.
• Authenticity and Alignment: True joy comes from embracing who you are, not what the world expects.
• Tools for Transformation: Practical methods to quiet the inner critic and start your comeback.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Whisper of Something More (06:32)

• Jamie shares how, as a child, she felt called for something beyond her circumstances.
• Chris recalls a similar “whisper”—“I just remember in my stomach feeling like there was more to life and that I’d have a different experience in life.” (06:49)

The Power and Pain of Labels (08:35)

• Chris: “From a young age, I was told I was stupid... you carry that.”
• Being different (due to dyslexia, sexuality, or other reasons) led Chris to internalize shame and feel unworthy.

Reconnecting With The True Self (10:45)

• Chris describes powerful therapy experiences, returning to his 6-year-old self to “come back to yourself and reconnect... It honestly changed my whole life.”
• Many adults are still carrying childhood labels (“shy,” “stupid,” etc.) without realizing it.

Healing and Reinvention Is Possible At Any Age (12:01)

• “You can reinvent yourself from the ground up... whether it’s your marriage, friends, or even your haircut.”
• Jamie observes how Chris’s story, in his new book Your Roots Don’t Define You, allows readers to see themselves in his journey and gain hope.

Everyone Has Self-Doubt, Even Celebrities (14:12)

• Jamie: "Have you ever worked with a celebrity ever that does not have self doubt or unworthiness or insecurities?"
• Chris: "No. Yeah, absolutely not… We all have those doubts and insecurities... you learn ways to come back to yourself." (14:12)

Inner Alignment vs. Outward Appearance (17:13)

• Chris shares, “On the outside, I looked aligned, but on the inside, absolutely not.” Only in the last two years, following a painful divorce, did internal peace come.

The Hard Work of Loving Yourself (19:35)

• Chris always thought “loving yourself” sounded cheesy, until he realized he didn’t actually love himself.
• “It’s easy to look at other people, judge other people… to look at yourself is tough. But in doing it, you'll never unsee it.” (20:56)

The Inner Critic & Fact-Checking Your Self-Talk (27:26)

• Jamie: “You talk about our inner hater, our inner critic. Why is it so loud?”
• Chris explains his process: “The book is going to not stop that voice... if the volume is at a 10, it's going to take it down to a 2.” (28:15)
• Fact-checking the critic: Reframe negatives (e.g., smile lines show happiness).

Notable Exercise:

• Return to your child self and say, “You’re enough. You’re doing a great job.” (32:49)

Fine Is a Facade (35:27)

• Chris rails against “I’m fine”: “It might as well be called fake. It's just not real to me.” (35:30)
• Jamie notes, “When we're numbing our way through life... fine becomes our default.”

The Power of Envy (38:05)

• Chris: “Envy, when used wrong, can be poison... used right, it’s a motivator.”
• He suggests being curious about envy—“What do they have that I want? How did they get it?”

Coming Out, Shame, and Self-Acceptance (54:30-66:13)

• Chris shares his journey of sexuality, the impact of early bullying, shame, and a painful coming-out experience to his children: “I couldn't have hated myself any more... I tried to end my life." (60:21)
• Turning point: “What if I just stop and look and surrender? And that was the beginning of the real Chris Appleton, the real me.” (66:22)

Quote:

“If I’m going to be here, I’m going to be me. And that was the beginning.” –Chris Appleton (65:50)

The Adult Journey to Fulfillment (70:22)

• Fulfillment is only possible “if you are who you truly are.”
• Jamie reflects on her own “aha” moments of not feeling worthy, even after outward success.

Defining Moments & Self-Belief (75:15)

• Chris recounts a pivotal, fear-filled moment before working with Christina Aguilera: “I thought... who am I? She’s going to see right through me.” (76:05)
• Overcame fear by recalling a loved one’s support, did the job, and set his career trajectory.
• Jamie: “Sometimes your life is one decision away.” (113:21)

Handling Public Scrutiny in the Age of Social Media (84:06)

• Chris and Jamie discuss the changing nature of criticism—everyone is public now.
• Chris: “Now I don’t really find it a problem. I kind of like it when there’s a different point of view... I know who I am.” (85:36)
• Both emphasize the importance of doing “the inner work” so opinions don’t destabilize you.

Setting Boundaries & Change at Any Age (90:51)

• Chris shares about setting boundaries—even with family. “A lot of people think it’s too late… it’s never too late. When you’re dead and in that ground, that’s when you can give up. Until then, you can make a change.” (94:53)

External Identity as Reflection of Authenticity (49:54—53:53, 99:53—109:44)

• Hair and style: More than just looks—your identity and how you feel about yourself.
• Chris shares stories of helping cancer patients reclaim identity; discusses the importance of aligning how you feel inside with your outside presence.

Practical Hair Advice & Knowing Yourself (99:59)

• Consult your personality, skin tone, eye color, and most importantly, what makes YOU feel confident.
• “First, know the rules—then you can bend them.” (102:36)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “I had actually abandoned myself for so many years, adult years of my life... because I was ashamed of who I was.” –Chris Appleton (00:57)
• “It’s not that I’m not enough to do my own dreams. It’s that we all share this commonality of the same doubts and insecurities... we have different journeys on how do we make our own comeback.” –Jamie Kern Lima (13:52)
• “In life, you don’t soar to the level of your hopes and dreams. You stay stuck at the level of your self worth.” –Jamie Kern Lima (21:23, recurring theme)
• “Being different now will be your superpower when you’re older. Just trust me.” –Chris Appleton (32:49)
• “Fine is just... it might as well be called fake.” –Chris Appleton (35:30)
• "Sometimes your life is one decision away. It’s as simple as that." –Chris Appleton (113:21)
• "You want real friends that really, like, love you for who you are and want the best, the best for you." –Jamie Kern Lima (72:03)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Chris’s Therapy and the Whisper (06:33–12:01)
• Origins of Inner Critic; Tools to Quiet It (27:26–32:49)
• Discussing the Word ‘Fine’ and Authentic Presence (35:27–38:01)
• Transforming Envy into Motivation (38:05–40:39)
• Chris’s Coming Out & Deepest Shame, Turning Point (54:30–66:13)
• Chris’s Defining Career Moment w/ Christina Aguilera (75:15–81:57)
• Handling Social Media Criticism (84:06–90:39)
• Embracing Change at Any Age, Setting Boundaries (90:51–96:14)
• Practical Hair and Identity Advice (99:53–110:10)
• Final Reflections and Takeaways (113:26–116:12)

Final Takeaways

• Self-belief is built, not given; it’s accessible to anyone at any stage.
• Vulnerability is a strength: Sharing your truth creates powerful connections.
• Your identity—within and without—is a tool for empowerment, not a limit.
• Change and reinvention are possible at any age—your “comeback” can start now.
• It’s never too late to stop letting “fine” be the default and start living as your true, whole self.

Action Steps Inspired by the Episode

• Look in the mirror, truly see yourself, and practice saying “I am enough.”
• When you hear your inner critic, fact-check its voice and reframe the narrative.
• If you feel envy, use it as a signal for what you want and get curious about the path there.
• Don’t let your past or current circumstances define your future—reinvention is always available.
• When you catch yourself settling for “fine,” consider what would be better than fine, and make moves (however small) towards it.

For More

• Chris Appleton’s book: Your Roots Don’t Define You: Transform Your Life, Create Your Comeback is available wherever books are sold.
• Jamie Kern Lima’s new book: Worthy: How to Believe You Are Enough and Transform Your Life
• More resources and free guides at jamiekernlima.com.

“This is your time. Today is your day. And this is your show.” – Jamie Kern Lima