Ben & Jessa: 10 Years of Marriage & 6 Kids

Summary

Podcast Summary: Ben & Jessa: 10 Years of Marriage & 6 Kids

Episode Title: Ben & Jessa: 10 Years of Marriage & 6 Kids
Podcast: The Jinger & Jeremy Podcast
Hosts: Jinger Vuolo, Jeremy Vuolo
Release Date: May 28, 2025

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1. Introduction to Ben & Jessa Seawald

In this special episode, hosts Jinger and Jeremy Vuolo welcome their guests, Ben and Jessa Seawald, to celebrate a decade of marriage and their growing family of six children. The conversation kicks off with warm greetings and a heartfelt welcome to Ben and Jessa, setting a cozy and intimate tone for the discussion.

2. Life Updates and Managing a Large Family

Ben and Jessa provide listeners with a comprehensive update on their lives, highlighting the joys and challenges of raising five children while preparing for their sixth. Jessa shares, “[02:46] We've been a little busy. I feel like five kids has kind of stretched us to the limit.” They discuss their reduced presence on social media, focusing more on being present for their family. Jessa adds humorously, “[03:07] I give myself one minute on Instagram every day. So you really, really going crazy.”

3. Navigating Social Media and Screen Time

The conversation delves into the importance of limiting screen time to foster better family interactions. Ben reflects on his struggle with excessive phone use, stating, “[03:34] I just keep going back to that, and then I'll be sitting there for an hour scrolling, and I'm like, wait, I just wasted all that time. That was so unproductive.” Jessa discusses strategies they've implemented, such as Jessa moving to a separate office to manage her social media activities discreetly: “[04:44] If she needs to do some social media stuff, she'll go over to my office.”

4. Ben & Jessa's Journey: How They Met

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to Ben and Jessa recounting their love story. They vividly describe the serendipitous circumstances under which they met at a church event in San Antonio. Jeremy asks, “[10:03] How did you guys meet? Tell us about those early days.” Jessa reminisces, “[14:14] ...Jeremy's house, a bunch of Christians eating.” They share amusing anecdotes about their first impressions and the gradual development of their relationship amidst the backdrop of their public lives.

5. Balancing Public Life and Privacy

Ben and Jessa discuss the complexities of maintaining a private relationship while being in the public eye due to Jinger's reality TV background. Jessa notes, “[40:08] Once you kind of talk about, like, oh, we're together... that person disappears from the show, well, that's just weird.” They emphasize the importance of being certain about their relationship's direction before making it public to avoid undue scrutiny and pressure.

6. Reflections on a Decade of Marriage

Celebrating ten years of marriage, Ben and Jessa reflect on their growth as a couple. Jessa shares, “[52:58] We've just fallen more in love with each passing year.” They discuss the ups and downs they've navigated together, including parenting challenges, financial strains, and personal growth. Ginger humorously observes, “[54:14] ...over the 10 years, I don't know if it's gone exactly like we thought it would go, but not all that different.”

7. Announcing the Sixth Child: A Surprise Reveal

As the episode builds towards its conclusion, Ben and Jessa announce their impending addition to the family. The hosts and guests engage in playful suspense before revealing, “[58:12] It's a girl [unrevealed in the transcript],” leaving listeners eagerly anticipating the next update. This heartfelt revelation underscores the theme of family expansion and the continuous journey Ben and Jessa are on together.

8. Conclusion and Future Plans

Wrapping up the episode, Jinger and Jeremy express their gratitude towards Ben and Jessa, acknowledging the profound impact their relationship has had on their own lives. Jeremy remarks, “[59:45] ...you've given me my wife, my children, my life. It's all done by the Lord...” They discuss potential future episodes, including deeper conversations about motherhood and overcoming personal challenges, promising listeners more inspiring content ahead.

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Notable Quotes:

• Jessa Seawald:
  “[03:07] I give myself one minute on Instagram every day. So you really, really going crazy.”
  “[52:58] We've just fallen more in love with each passing year.”

• Ben Seawald:
  “[03:34] I just keep going back to that, and then I'll be sitting there for an hour scrolling, and I'm like, wait, I just wasted all that time. That was so unproductive.”

• Jeremy Vuolo:
  “[10:03] How did you guys meet? Tell us about those early days.”

• Ginger Vuolo:
  “[54:14] ...over the 10 years, I don't know if it's gone exactly like we thought it would go, but not all that different.”

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Key Takeaways:

• Balancing Family and Public Life: Navigating the challenges of maintaining privacy while being part of the public eye requires intentional strategies and mutual understanding.

• Importance of Limiting Screen Time: Reducing social media usage fosters better family interactions and personal well-being.

• Growth Through Marriage: A decade-long marriage showcases deepening love, resilience through challenges, and continuous personal growth.

• Expanding Family Dynamics: Planning for additional children involves thoughtful discussions about capacity, resources, and familial harmony.

• Support Systems in Relationships: Engaging with supportive communities and families can significantly enrich marital relationships and parenting experiences.

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This episode of The Jinger & Jeremy Podcast offers an intimate glimpse into Ben and Jessa Seawald's decade-long marriage, their strategies for managing a large family, and their journey from meeting to building a life together. Their heartfelt conversations provide listeners with relatable insights into balancing personal lives with public expectations, the importance of communication, and the enduring power of love and faith in sustaining a family.

Transcript

[Jessa Seawald]

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[Ben Seawald]

Your favorite band's merch. You can Venmo this or their next show. You can Venmo that.

[Jessa Seawald]

Visit Venmo Me Debit to learn more. The Venmo MasterCard is issued by the Bancorp bank in a pursuant to license by MasterCard International, Inc.

[Ben Seawald]

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[Jeremy]

What's going on, guys?

[Ginger]

I don't know if it's gone exactly like we thought it would go. We knew we wanted to have a decent number of kids, maybe like, six or seven or eight.

[Jessa Seawald]

I said, I'm number five. Five is such a special number of my heart. You should really have five.

[Ben Seawald]

Then you remembered me.

[Jessa Seawald]

Actually, I did use that. I said my best friend was number six in the family. He should really have a number six.

[Ben Seawald]

You did say that. Thank you.

[Ginger]

Many times.

[Jessa Seawald]

I said that wouldn't work out so well for, like, you know, Josie or something. I was number 19, so.

[Ben Seawald]

Oh, mercy.

[Jessa Seawald]

So historically, we've told y' all the gender of a lot of our babies, because y' all are, like, far away, and I don't feel like we're not gonna be, like, trying to, you know, get it out of you.

[Ginger]

Should we tell them right here live on the podcast?

[Jessa Seawald]

Live.

[Ginger]

Make a big reveal.

[Jessa Seawald]

Let's cut the cameras.

[Ben Seawald]

Wow. Bing, you're living on the wild side.

[Jessa Seawald]

You guys will live on the edge.

[Jeremy]

Okay, so the gender of your baby. What's the gender of your baby?

[Jessa Seawald]

It's.

[Jeremy]

What's going on, guys? Welcome back to the Ginger and Jeremy podcast. We're here for another episode, and we've.

[Ben Seawald]

We've got my twin. Well, some people would say that she's my twin. I'm actually not a twin, but it's my sister Jessa and her husband Ben.

[Jeremy]

What's going on, guys?

[Jessa Seawald]

Thanks for having us on.

[Jeremy]

Thanks for having us.

[Ben Seawald]

This is so fun. And baby SEAWALD.

[Jessa Seawald]

Yes.

[Ginger]

Coming July 21st, Lord willing.

[Ben Seawald]

Yeah.

[Jeremy]

And Finnegan is in the room so if you hear little noises, it's. It's. He's smiling at us.

[Jessa Seawald]

So happy that his. So cute.

[Jeremy]

The other kids are running around the house wreaking havoc, probably.

[Ginger]

No, they're cleaning the house. They said that they would have it all clean.

[Ben Seawald]

Yeah, it's very pristine. Yeah. By the time we're done, it's gonna be great.

[Jeremy]

So how you guys doing?

[Ginger]

Doing great. Yeah, we've enjoyed hanging out with you guys, being here in Cali.

[Jessa Seawald]

It's been a fun week.

[Ginger]

Great vacation.

[Jessa Seawald]

Yes.

[Jeremy]

Why don't we start out with a little life update from the Seawalds? You guys have kind of been out of the public spotlight for a while a little bit, right?

[Jessa Seawald]

Yeah, we've been a little busy. A little busy. I feel like five kids has kind of stretched us to the limit. So we for sure, you know, not on social media as much. I think I've been on my YouTube channel twice in the last year, so definitely slowed down.

[Jeremy]

The people miss you. I think the people miss you.

[Ginger]

She's been trying to be on her phone less and just be more present and all that.

[Jessa Seawald]

So I give myself one minute on Instagram every day. So you really, really going crazy.

[Jeremy]

But I have the one minute.

[Ginger]

She gave me the code, and so it's a great feeling of power, you know?

[Jessa Seawald]

Well, I gave myself the screen time code first, but then I would just type it in so fast. I would give myself 15 more minutes. 15 more minutes. Finally, I said, babe, I want you to put the code, and I want to have one minute. And if I need to post or see something, whatever, then I'll ask him when he gets home in the evening. Just.

[Ben Seawald]

I might need to do that. I feel like I might need to do that for a couple months, because I'll do that sometimes. But at some point, you get just so captivated by everything that's happening around you. You know, you're just wanting to constantly scroll. And I just keep going back to that, and then I'll be sitting there for an hour scrolling, and I'm like, wait, I just wasted all that time. That was so unprofitable.

[Jeremy]

It goes away so fast.

[Ben Seawald]

Yeah. Especially with kids. Your kids around. It's one thing if you're doing work and there's a lot of time where they're not watching you on it. But if we're like, oh, you shouldn't be on the phone. We don't want you to have that screen time that it's convicting to think, like, how much time am I spending?

[Ginger]

Well, yeah. And especially, like, as you think ahead to when they're teenagers and, you know, do we want them on our. On their phones while it's, like, family time or while we have guests, do we want them, like, staring at the screen? But are we setting a bad example? Like, their whole growing up years, have they been seeing us on our screens when they're around and they're trying to get our attention? And so sometimes what we've done is Jessa, if she needs to do some social media stuff, she'll go over to my office, and that way she's away, she's working, but then when she comes back, it's like she's not having to do all that in front of us.

[Ben Seawald]

That's great.

[Ginger]

Sometimes we do that. We need to do a better job, but still got room for growth.

[Ben Seawald]

We all.

[Ginger]

We can easily forget. But, yeah, trying to keep that in mind. What kind of example are we setting?

[Ben Seawald]

I like it.

[Jeremy]

What can you accomplish in one minute on Instagram? I'm actually really curious about that. Like, does that scratch the itch for you? Okay, so you watch four reels and you're out.

[Jessa Seawald]

You know, you can. You can go in your Instagram and you can turn off, like, random content showing up in your feed. Oh, so it'll just be people who you follow, which I really like. Yeah, but you can only pause it for 30 days. So you go in the settings and I'll pause it for 30 days. So that way when I do pop on there for a minute, I'll see, like, you know, the first three posts or something like that. I'll watch half of an Ali Beth Stucky reel or something like that.

[Jeremy]

Shout out, Ali Beth, let's go.

[Jessa Seawald]

But yeah, it just kind of keeps me in check there. Oh, I actually. I can add one more minute. It'll say, add one more minute. Yes. So I get two minutes. I get two minutes.

[Jeremy]

I've got a question. Have you. So I've tried this before where I. If I'm spending too much time on Twitter or like, I for a while had my websites, I would just do a rotation of. I would go to Twitter, cnn, Fox News. Cause you gotta be balanced.

[Ginger]

Yeah.

[Jeremy]

You go to CNN and there's this world ending catastrophe. So I go to Fox News. They haven't said anything about it. So I go, okay, it's gotta be somewhere in between. And then I would go to ESPN and I would, like, do this cycle every day, and I'd find myself doing it. So then I cut those out and I was like, okay, I'm not gonna go to CNN and Fox News. So then I just replaced it with, like, Drudge Report. So do you find yourself, like, going, oh, man, look at me, I'm doing good. I'm off Instagram. So Now I'm on YouTube shorts for like.

[Jessa Seawald]

Oh, oh, yeah, yeah. There's always that struggle, you know, for real. It's always, you know, everybody will waste time in their own way. Right? Like, we always will have time that will fill. But I've been trying to do more, like picking up books, like, physical books whenever I can, like over the kids rest time or whatever, just trying to read more. And I definitely go through spurts. I don't do it perfectly at all.

[Ginger]

But yeah, sometimes it can be so impulsive too. Like, you'll just sit down and out of habit, you won't even be thinking about it, but you'll just pick up your phone and get on the website that you're like the first one in your cycle.

[Jeremy]

Right. Sneezing away over here.

[Ginger]

Bless you, Finn. But yeah, sometimes what we've had to do is like, just say, hey, for the next week, no Internet. And it kind of breaks your. Your habit. It breaks your routine. And then it. You start to sit down and eat lunch and you're not grabbing for your phone by the end of the week or whatever, and then it sort of just helps you reset. So we've done that sometimes, and that's been helpful.

[Ben Seawald]

I love it.

[Ginger]

But yeah.

[Jeremy]

All right, this has been super good and convicting in the first four minutes. I hope people don't cut out our podcast.

[Jessa Seawald]

Don't turn off a podcast.

[Jeremy]

Keep listening.

[Ben Seawald]

They have a lot of good tastes.

[Jeremy]

Like, we're so convicted, they just turned off. So give us like a life update. Where are the Seawalls now? Talk about you've got five kids, you got a six on the way. What's life look like these days?

[Jessa Seawald]

Yeah, we're in the thick of just parenting and homeschooling. Our oldest three are in school now, and so that's probably part of the pressure to like, you know, be off my phone more. Just be more present, be more in tune to what we need to get done in a day. And he's been pastoring full time for five years now.

[Jeremy]

Yeah, it's crazy that it's been five years since you started pastoring.

[Ginger]

Yeah, yeah, the time's flown by. You know what we were saying the other day is that's half as long as we've been married.

[Ben Seawald]

Whoa.

[Jessa Seawald]

Half our marriage.

[Jeremy]

Well, it's Crazy that you've been married 10 years.

[Ben Seawald]

How is that possible?

[Jeremy]

And you just turned 30. Spurgeon's by the time this comes out.

[Jessa Seawald]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Ben Seawald]

And Spurgeon's 10 now.

[Ginger]

That's insane.

[Ben Seawald]

Almost 10. Almost 10. He's not 10 yet.

[Jeremy]

Hey, I remember this. Jessa. Looking just like you did when we first kind of hung out when we first met. You were just announced you were pregnant. And then a few months later, I came up to Dallas to visit you guys at the conference, and you were looking more like you are now.

[Jessa Seawald]

Yeah. We came down and visited you in Laredo. And I remember you took a photo of Ben and I on the Rio there, and I had the big. You know, Spurgeon was very about due.

[Ben Seawald]

Wow. That's crazy.

[Jeremy]

It's wild that that's 10 years ago. I know. And so much has changed, but then nothing's changed.

[Jessa Seawald]

I know.

[Jeremy]

Isn't that funny?

[Jessa Seawald]

Like, crazy?

[Jeremy]

It feels like yesterday.

[Ben Seawald]

Yeah.

[Jeremy]

But then we've lived a lifetime in 10 years, you know, it feels like.

[Jessa Seawald]

I know.

[Ginger]

We're running out to the gas station to get those tacos.

[Jessa Seawald]

Oh, yeah.

[Ginger]

For breakfast.

[Ben Seawald]

Yeah.

[Jessa Seawald]

Oh, let's talk about burgers.

[Ginger]

Cause he's, you know, he's a bachelor, so he's like, you know.

[Ben Seawald]

You're so gross.

[Ginger]

I'm probably gonna feed my guests for breakfast. Cause we, like, we didn't just come to town. We, like, we crashed his apartment.

[Jessa Seawald]

He's like, stay with you. He gave us his room.

[Ginger]

Sleep on the floor in your living room. On the floor.

[Jeremy]

I slept on the floor.

[Jessa Seawald]

There's no way he could have slept on the couch. The couch wasn't that long. It was like a love seat.

[Jeremy]

Yeah.

[Jessa Seawald]

So you must have a love seat.

[Jeremy]

With no one to love. I was single and loved.

[Jessa Seawald]

Aw. We sat there for hours. I remember we were, like, going through Ben's Facebook. We're like, there's gotta be somebody on here.

[Ginger]

We gotta find you somebody. Jeremy.

[Jeremy]

Hey, let's talk about those early days, because you guys were instrumental in this.

[Ben Seawald]

Happening, bringing us together.

[Jeremy]

I mean, it didn't happen without you guys, but for sure, those. I don't know if we've ever talked about those early days. Like, we've talked about how we got connected, but I remember that trip vividly well.

[Ben Seawald]

Okay, we have to go back to how you got connected. Just a real quick recap for anybody who does not know.

[Jessa Seawald]

That was really crazy. Just how y' all are.

[Jeremy]

We met.

[Jessa Seawald]

Yeah.

[Jeremy]

Yeah.

[Jessa Seawald]

That's a lot. We had flown into San Antonio, and we were Going to be meeting up with some of the family there. And we had some time to kill some.

[Ginger]

The Lord had a plan because we got there hours before the rest of the family. And we're like, what are we going to do in San Antonio? Do we know anyone here? And I was like, wait a second. I have this friend on Facebook that I've. He's been my Facebook friend for like a number of years, since I was like 13. But I've never met him in person. But I've always been inspired by like his posts. He's always posting about the gospel. And so I was like.

[Jessa Seawald]

Yes, that was the thing. Ben said he's not self focused. He's not. He never posts a picture of himself. He has no clue what this guy.

[Ginger]

Looks like at this point. Yeah, I still have no idea what this guy even looks like.

[Jeremy]

Matthew Wade Garza.

[Jessa Seawald]

Yeah. So he messages him and he's like, we're in town. And the guy said, some of the brothers are gathered at a house in San Antonio. He didn't eat pizza. To eat pizza. He didn't say he wasn't gonna be there. So we roll up and we're like, where's Matt? And people are like, oh, well, first of all, pause.

[Ginger]

You're getting too ahead of it.

[Ben Seawald]

Let's take a break from this episode to tell you about Ava.

[Jeremy]

Ginger, I have a question for you. When is the last time you thought about your credit score? Okay, if you're like ginger, and that's your answer, like, oof, or I don't remember, you're missing out on lower payments, better rates, bigger opportunities. And that's where Ava comes in. Because Ava is an app that helps you build back your credit so that you don't have to pay so much on interest when you get a loan.

[Ben Seawald]

So we know that interest rate rates are brutal right now. And if you have credit card bills and you have car payments, it's a lot and it will take over your budget. So there's so much to think about. And Ava is the solution.

[Jeremy]

Yeah. It's a credit building app that makes it super easy to improve your credit fast so you can get better rates on loans, pay off debt faster, and keep more money in your pocket.

[Ben Seawald]

So for just $6 a month, you can potentially save thousands.

[Ginger]

Yeah.

[Jeremy]

Download the Ava app that's spelled A V A. And when you join, use our promo code, Jinger J I N G E R. You'll get your first month free. The offer is only for our listeners, so use this promo code. Ginger, get your first month free. Hey, that's for the Ginger and Jeremy podcast listeners only. So get the Ava app. Use promo code Ginger to get your first month. Thanks, Ava. Now go get yourself some good credit. Hey, guys, we're going to take a quick break from the episode to tell you about Zocdoc.

[Ben Seawald]

So I just have to say, Jeremy, you have the hardest time making a doctor's appointment. Going to the doctor, it's true, you put it off like it's the worst thing, but when a medical issue comes up, we're sitting there googling, oh, no, what could this be?

[Jeremy]

I've got about 3 of those in my mind right now that I. Yeah, like you have.

[Ben Seawald]

You wake up and you have neck pain or your foot hurts. Your foot's been hurting.

[Jeremy]

My heel's been hurting me for a while.

[Ben Seawald]

Go to the doctor. Go get your foot checked out. And I think that this is going to be the solution.

[Jeremy]

Yeah. So part of the problem for me is I'm too busy. I'm like, who do I go to see? My heel hurts. What am I supposed to do?

[Ben Seawald]

So ZocDoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare high quality in network doctors and click to instantly book an appointment.

[Jeremy]

So that's the kicker for me is the instant appointment, because I might realize I need a doctor's appointment, but then I can't stand the phone calls. I can't stand trying to figure out the schedule. But if I can go online and instantaneously book, it's the same reason I have a problem with Amazon orders, because it's just instant. And so ZocDoc is like one click shopping for doctors. But you can book an appointment. Go to the right person.

[Ben Seawald]

Yeah, they have a hundred thousand doctors.

[Jeremy]

Good night.

[Ben Seawald]

And so there's, there's across every specialty and there are just so many options.

[Jeremy]

So you guys should definitely check this out. Out. It's been super helpful for us. Stop putting off those doctor's appointments. Go to zocdoc.com Ginger that's Z O C D O C Zoc Doc. Zocdoc.com Ginger I keep saying it because it's fun to say.

[Ben Seawald]

Zocdoc.com now back to the episode.

[Ginger]

Matt. I call him on the phone, he gives me his number. I call him. I said, hey man, we'd love to hang out if you got some time. I mean, we're here in San Antonio. And he says, great, well, you guys are at the Riverwalk. There's some Christians nearby there, some brothers from our Church, they're having a pizza party. I'll send someone to pick you up.

[Ben Seawald]

That's true.

[Ginger]

And so he said, this other guy, he'll pick you up in this silver SUV behind the Alamo. So just. You see this silver SUV pull up behind the Alamo, hop in, and he'll take you to the house.

[Ben Seawald]

Sounds like the beginning of a murder mystery.

[Ginger]

And so we did. We just. We waited there. We walked up, and there rolls up this silver suv.

[Jeremy]

Ferris pulls up in his suv, and.

[Ginger]

He takes into a stranger. And sure enough, there's Jeremy's house, a bunch of Christians eating.

[Jeremy]

Here's my vantage point from that side of things. I'm in Laredo at that point. I was preaching in Laredo. I'd go down there. I'd come back on a Sunday, and there's this homeless guy, Bobby, who was in a real tough situation. And so we decided we're going to help Bobby out. We tried to help him out in Laredo, but it wasn't working. There were some bad, seedy characters around Bobby. So we get Bobby, he comes with us up to San Antonio, and I'm taking him to a homeless shelter in the night. And I get a call. Now I get a text from somebody in the church going, you'll never guess who's at your house. So I just start guessing, like, random people. And they go, ben and Jessa Seawald. And the reason I'd known you guys is because the pastor's family, who I was staying with for some time, would watch the show, and I would always make fun of it, and so I would take pictures. I remember one time I was at a place, and I. You're going to put a passion as well. I'm at a place, I see a picture of you guys on a magazine, like, People magazine. And I take a picture of it and, like, send it with like, a, you know, a sarcastic text to all those girls, like, oh, look at your favorite people on this magazine. You know? So that's how I knew you guys, because of them. So then they go, ben, just see what I'm like. You're kidding me. Like, they're not at my house.

[Jessa Seawald]

That is so.

[Jeremy]

So I come back, and I walk in, and I see you, Ben, and I'm like, what's up, dude? And we just start talking.

[Jessa Seawald]

Yeah.

[Jeremy]

And here is my first impression of Ben. I'm talking. You asked me probably a leading question, like, so what do you do? So I'm like, oh, yeah, I'm pastoring church. And I finish, and you go hey, where's the bathroom?

[Ginger]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jeremy]

And I went. It's. It's over there.

[Jessa Seawald]

You're like, okay, I've just been talking to guys that you're off. And he has to.

[Ginger]

I just felt like, oh, he doesn't.

[Jeremy]

He's not listening to me at all.

[Jessa Seawald]

All you do is go to the bathroom. Okay. So here's my first impression of Jerem. He walks in, and he's in this sweater that has this particular collar, and it comes down, has a button. And it was Ginger's favorite kind of sweater.

[Ben Seawald]

And the reason, you know that is. Cause we would always go and, like, style our younger brothers.

[Jessa Seawald]

Yes. We would always pick out those. You know, the clothes for the brothers or whatever, and go shopping for them. Yep. And so when I saw that, I was like, I wonder if that guy's single. And I thought, that's Ginger's favorite kind of sweater right there.

[Jeremy]

Hey, all it takes to impress Ginger, the right kind of sweater. And you're in.

[Ginger]

Oh, my.

[Jeremy]

Oh, my goodness.

[Ben Seawald]

I love it.

[Jeremy]

So you come back and we're chatting. There's probably 20 people at the house or whatever. And then you were like, hey, dude, let me get your number. Let's stay in touch. I was like, yeah, sure. So that's what we did. And something about Ben. I was thinking about this about you yesterday, because we were in the car coming back from the beach, and someone called Ben, who you and I met nine years ago, we went to a juvenile detention center.

[Jessa Seawald]

Yeah.

[Jeremy]

And we're sharing the gospel with this kid. And nine years later, wow. There's a call comes up on the. On Ben's phone. He goes, oh, that's. And I'm like, thinking. But you know what else? First I thought, wow. And then my second thought was, yeah, that's Ben. Like, he just invests in people, and he just consistently just stays poured into their life. So he ended that call by going, hey, well, why don't you just finish up reading the book of Galatians, and next week we'll pick up where we left off. And I'm like, nine years later, he's still doing a Bible study with a kid who was at the time in juvenile detention, now is in Big boy.

[Ginger]

Dad's a man now.

[Jeremy]

Yeah. But he's in big boy jail, and he's still doing a Bible study.

[Ben Seawald]

Wow, that's awesome.

[Jeremy]

That was Ben. So I didn't know it at the time, but when Ben was like, hey, let me get your number and keep in touch, we kept in touch. And we just and then you invited me out to a Dallas conference. Yeah.

[Ben Seawald]

Showed up.

[Jeremy]

A big Sandy conference.

[Ginger]

Yeah. Well, you had. You had, like, called, and, well, you'd said something like, hey, if you know of any godly single girls, like, you know.

[Jeremy]

No, I remember that text conversation. I might still have it. You said. I said, how can I pray for you? And you shared something. Then you said, how can I pray for you? And I'm like, bro, I need a wife.

[Ben Seawald]

It's lonely being in the ministry.

[Jeremy]

It's lonely in Laredo. And you went, well, I know a few girls. And then it was, like, a couple months later, you invited me out to this.

[Ginger]

Yeah.

[Jeremy]

This conference in Big Sandy. Yeah.

[Ginger]

Yeah.

[Jeremy]

And so that's how. Dude, pulling up to that conference. It was wild. I first met Ryan. Remember Ryan?

[Ginger]

Yeah.

[Jeremy]

And he comes up in a golf cart. It's like, what's up, dude? And I'm like, hey, man, where am I? Like, all these massive families. They all have these huge RVs, right?

[Ben Seawald]

Yeah.

[Jeremy]

Or, like, buses. And I'm pulling into this. This camp. Like, where am I? They're playing volleyball. Everybody's dressed the same. I was like, what am I? And then Ryan pulls up. It's like, what's up, dude?

[Ginger]

Yeah, man. We had. We had an agenda, though, didn't we? We were like. I mean, that's kind of the main reason we were there is like, all right, we gotta set up some meetings. We gotta get some conversations in.

[Ben Seawald]

Oh, yeah, dude, you're.

[Ginger]

So. It's only this many hours from Laredo, so you could, like, drive up.

[Jessa Seawald]

Yep.

[Jeremy]

And here's another thing. Here's another thing I've got to say about Ben, because he's got this, like. Okay, he's planning and scheming to set me up. Ben, matchmaking works. Ten years later from that, you just set up another couple that just. We just attended their wedding in Arkansas a few months ago.

[Ginger]

Hey.

[Ben Seawald]

Yeah. That's crazy.

[Ginger]

Two out of however many that didn't.

[Jessa Seawald]

That's actually two fails.

[Jeremy]

Are those the only two that have worked?

[Ginger]

Me and Ginger? I think so. I mean, you just put a bug in someone's ear, put a suggestion, and then see what God does from there. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

[Ben Seawald]

Oh, yeah. But, I mean, that's pretty successful. It really is.

[Ginger]

Well, praise the Lord.

[Ben Seawald]

I love it. Well, I remember meeting Jeremy. I remember that meeting because we were just staying outside. This is how I remember it at least. And I was wearing this green dress thing. We were about to go get family pictures down by the lake, and Jer rolls up, and I met him, because I had heard quite a bit about him because of y'. All. You told me quite a bit about Jer in this ministry.

[Ginger]

Part of Jessa's strategy. You gotta start dropping, like, talking this guy up, you know, subtle hints. Not that you need to be talked up, but she just started talking about you.

[Jeremy]

Okay, real quick. Ginger had to step out to feed the baby. So Jessa is gonna. As her twin, you're going to finish her story.

[Jessa Seawald]

So we're driving on the campus there. Ben and I hopped in Jer's car, and we're rolling on, like, the backside of the campus. There's nobody around, and Jeremy is crawling. And I said, jeremy, you are driving like a grandma. Speed up. And he said, the speed limit sign says 25. And then you went into this story about how one time you were driving a pastor and you were talking to him, and you were cruising along, and you started speeding. You didn't know it, and that the man just looked over at you and said, son, the law of God is behind the speed limit sign.

[Jeremy]

Wow.

[Jessa Seawald]

And how that made an impression on you and that made an impression on me. Now, I've never been able to speed since then.

[Jeremy]

Seriously?

[Jessa Seawald]

Yep. Nope. I just. I feel that conviction.

[Ginger]

We still think about that story.

[Jessa Seawald]

Jeremy speeds.

[Jeremy]

Yeah.

[Jessa Seawald]

Oh, Jer, you've gone back.

[Jeremy]

I have completely forgotten about that.

[Ginger]

But we're here to remind you we've come to.

[Jeremy]

Okay, but here's the reality. In LA, so yesterday, I was doing 80 and a 65, and there's a police officer on the side, and they don't react. You can't. In fact, if you're going the speed limit, you're in trouble. Like, you're. You're gonna get.

[Jessa Seawald]

You're probably getting the flow and whatever. You know, whether you're going 5 miles per hour or 70 or whatever.

[Jeremy]

Now, I know I just confessed to. Is that a misdemeanor?

[Jessa Seawald]

No, it's not this.

[Jeremy]

You go with the flow. You gotta be out here in la. It's different.

[Jessa Seawald]

It's different. It's not our.

[Jeremy]

It's wild. And what's funny is, when I first moved to Texas, so I'm from the Northeast in Pennsylvania, and you would go easily 10 over, and nobody would notice. And then I drove to Texas from Pennsylvania, and I think once in Louisiana, I got pulled over, and I was going 81 in a 70. And the officer's kind of upset, comes up and says, do you know how fast you're going? I Go or. No, he goes, you know why I pulled you over? I said, was I going too fast or something? He said, you were doing 80. And I went, no, he said you were doing 81. And I went, officer, I'm sorry. I thought I was doing 80. And he goes, so you admit you're going 10 over? And I went, yeah, I'll be right back. So he goes. And I'm like, looking at my dad like, wait, what? What's the issue? I'm going 10. I thought I was going 10 over. Comes back, writes me a ticket for 10 over. I was like, what?

[Jessa Seawald]

Good night.

[Jeremy]

So then I get to Texas, like, a day or two later, same thing. I'm going like, eight over. Pulled me over. I'm going, what's the deal? And at one point, I get pulled over a third time, like a few weeks after I moved to Texas. And I got off of this ticket because I literally was so exasperated. The cop comes up and I went, officer, look, I'm from Pennsylvania. We go 10 over. I've gotten pulled over three times now. I have not used to this. Like, I'm sorry, I gotta. And he just goes, all right, just slow it down. And I'm like, whoa. Thanks. I was so exasperated.

[Jessa Seawald]

We would always say, oh, they'll give you five, you know? But then. Or I heard a police officer friend of ours say that their rule on their end was nine in their mind. So if you're going nine or more over, then they'll pull you over.

[Jeremy]

Oh, wow. Nine or more.

[Jessa Seawald]

So I don't know. I had this framework in my mind, and I was like, oh, I'm okay with going five over. I would always set my cruise right at that. But then after that conversation, Jared did something.

[Jeremy]

Gosh, I. Man, I gotta go back. I would love to hear from a police officer in LA to see what is the moral, ethical thing to do.

[Ben Seawald]

Plowed over.

[Jeremy]

Yeah, you're going to get plowed over. Ginger in the hallway. I love you can hear her on the mic. That's so funny. Okay, so those early days, man, those were wild early days. And then here's just to finish. The evolution of, like, your involvement in this whole thing was. So I started having an interest in Ginger. And I remember you saying to me, because you started to get more bold, and you were like, hey, have you thought about Ginger? I'm like, ginger. And then you sent me a testimony video that, like, you had. You used to do these YouTube videos. You, like, filmed her sharing her story. I'm like, she's a Sweet girl. And I'd seen her, obviously, and met her, and then I'm like, yeah, I think I'd like to get to know Ginger. And it was. You said, you should come on this missions trip to El Salvador because you had all these guys who were interested in Duggar girls, and they'd come around and maybe act, you know, going on the mission trip. But you were like, come with us on this missions trip. It'll give you an opportunity to get to know the family, give them an opportunity to get to know you. And you can also hang out and get to know Ginger a little better. And I think that really sealed the deal for us. Right, Ginge?

[Jessa Seawald]

Yeah.

[Jeremy]

Right, Ginge.

[Jessa Seawald]

That's awesome.

[Jeremy]

The mission trip sealed the deal.

[Ben Seawald]

Yeah, it did.

[Jeremy]

Yeah, it did.

[Jessa Seawald]

And I wasn't even able to be on that mission trip, so I'm like, sitting there the whole time. Y' all don't have cell service, really?

[Jeremy]

Because you were pregnant.

[Jessa Seawald]

I'm like. I'm like, what is going on down there? I need to get a report.

[Ginger]

Oh, yeah. Anytime they would share any photos from the trip, Jess would be like, zooming in and, oh, there he is. There he is.

[Jeremy]

Were you not on a mission trip either?

[Jessa Seawald]

No, no, we weren't.

[Jeremy]

Because spurging was about due in November, right?

[Jessa Seawald]

Yeah, I think so.

[Ginger]

Something like that.

[Jessa Seawald]

Or maybe he was brand new newborn.

[Jeremy]

He was born in November or no, December.

[Jessa Seawald]

I don't remember which direction that was. I think he had just been born.

[Jeremy]

Wow.

[Ben Seawald]

Yeah.

[Jeremy]

Wild. Okay, so talk to us about your early days here. Like, Ben, give us a little bit of, you know, how did you and Jessa meet? Talk about those.

[Ginger]

So we. My family grew up and we were part of a pretty small church, and my parents were. They told us, hey, we'll take you guys and we'll visit other churches in other places, give you more opportunities to meet someone that you might be interested in. Just kind of broaden your horizons a little bit because we, again, we're homeschooled as well. Small church, homeschool. But we weren't part of the homeschool co op. Even so, outside of our immediate friend group, there wasn't a whole lot of opportunity to just meet new people.

[Jeremy]

Hey, can I pause you there real quick and ask your thoughts on this? So I was talking to some people who are single and they're getting older and wanting to be married. And my advice to them, and I want to hear your thoughts on this. And don't forget where you are in the story, but it coincides with what your family did, I told them, switch up your habits, like, your socializing habits, because you see the same people every week, all the time. And you go to the same events, like, switch it up. Visit a different church, go to different events, hang out with different people. Sign up for this, sign up for that, broaden your horizons. That's kind of what your parents did.

[Ginger]

Definitely. Yeah. That's very good advice. And that's really what my parents did. And so we went up from central Arkansas to the northwest part of the state where her family lived, and we had a sort of a connection between. Between our families, a mutual friend. And so we ended up going to her family's church that Sunday, that weekend. And that was our first real interaction, which wasn't much. I, I. My sisters and I, we work together. We would. They would go see, if I just walk right up and start talking to her immediately, and if I show too much interest, I was afraid that would frighten her away, you know, oh, another fanboy. You know, they've seen the show. He wants to date us or whatever.

[Jeremy]

Were you a fanboy who had seen the show, who wanted to date her? Technically.

[Jessa Seawald]

Okay. Wow.

[Jeremy]

So she would have seen you for what she were.

[Ginger]

But I wanted to, you know, come across a little less aggressive, you know, like, of course, just not make her feel awkward.

[Jessa Seawald]

So what was the pact with your sisters?

[Ginger]

Well, my sisters would go up, they would form a friendship, because then, say you have one meeting. It's easier for a girl to get another girl's number and keep up a connection there versus just, I'm probably not gonna get around to getting a phone number on my first interaction. So my sisters would go up, but they would say, oh, you gotta meet our brother. He's so awesome. And I would do the same thing for them, you know, like, oh, here's my amazing sister. I love it when there was guys around. So we'd kind of talk each other up, help each other out.

[Jeremy]

This is how guys have to strategize. It's a tough world out there. You got to get up, keep up.

[Ginger]

Good sibling relationships, you know, those can come in very handy.

[Jessa Seawald]

Okay, so you also said that because you had three sisters directly under you, that you would watch, like, the chick flicks with them or, like, watch, like, Pride and Prejudice, like, the classics.

[Ginger]

And you'd be like, oh, yeah, I love that movie.

[Jessa Seawald]

Strategizing. What is it about Mr. Darcy?

[Ginger]

Well, yeah, initially I was like, you know, why are they spending five hours watching this, this chick flick, this Pride and Prejudice period drama? Like, what in the world? And so. But I didn't have anything better to do, so I was like, I might as well watch this and see what all the fuss is about. Why are. Why are all the girls so enamored with Mr. Darcy? What do I need to learn from this guy? You know? And so I started watching it.

[Jeremy]

Did his. Did his Riz translate to the Modern era?

[Ginger]

What's Riz, I hope, is a Theo. That was my goal. That was my goals.

[Jeremy]

But.

[Jessa Seawald]

Oh, okay.

[Ginger]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So. But yeah. Anyways, sure enough, my sisters connected with. I think mainly they talked to Ginger because Ginger's pretty outgoing.

[Jessa Seawald]

Yeah.

[Ginger]

You know, Jess was a little quieter, a little more reserved initially, but they. They. I remember them talking to Ginger, and Ginger invited them to a conference, and I told my parents afterwards, I was like, I know it's in, like, three days, but we have to go. This is the opportunity. This is the chance.

[Jeremy]

So the whole Seawald family. By the way, I love the fact that you didn't just have a wingman, you had, like, a wing family.

[Ginger]

Oh, totally.

[Jeremy]

You had sisters, parents who were like, whatever. Ben, Ben, we need you to get hitched, so we're gonna help you however you need.

[Ginger]

Oh, man. Yeah. That's great.

[Jessa Seawald]

Yeah. He didn't actually say anything to me on that first meeting other than he walked up and he said, is that an iPhone? And I was like, great.

[Ginger]

Great first line, right?

[Jessa Seawald]

I said, yeah, it's an old one. And that was like, that's our first words. That was all you said? That's all I said. We said nothing else until your family rolled up at the conference and you came in, and I was near the registration, helping put my siblings into the kids programs or whatever, and you said, hi, I'm Ben Sewald. Okay. So he had grown out this little, like. What do you call that? Yeah, goatee. He had grown out a little goatee. And he was young. He was 17, and I was 20. I didn't know he was that young. If I would have known that he was a teenager. And I'm here. I'm 20. You know, I'm so grown up. I don't know. I don't know if that would have changed things right off the bat, but I didn't know for months how old he was. And I thought, well, if he can grow facial hair, he's gotta be, like, really, you know, close to my age. So that fooled me.

[Jeremy]

Welcome back to the show, Jen.

[Jessa Seawald]

You didn't have a driver's license at this point, right?

[Ginger]

No.

[Jessa Seawald]

You didn't have a driver's license. You weren't even driving.

[Ginger]

But this motivated me to get my driver's license.

[Ben Seawald]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Jessa Seawald]

Let's talk about that.

[Ben Seawald]

We're gonna get into that. We're gonna get into that.

[Jessa Seawald]

Let's talk about that. Cause this was really funny.

[Ginger]

Okay. So getting a girl really motivated me whenever I was about 16, 17, and I spent a lot of time playing computer games and such, and my dad would come by and just say, son, it's time to be a man. You know, when I became a man, I put away childish things. He just kind of. Just kind of quote a verse to me here and there, and I would be like, no, but it did make sense.

[Jessa Seawald]

You sold your gaming console.

[Ginger]

He's right.

[Jessa Seawald]

You're like, I need to grow up.

[Ginger]

But then it was when I met her and I had a reason to take road trips up to northwest Arkansas. I was like, I really need to get my own driver's license. I have a truck. I need to get this show on the road or else somebody's gonna swoop in and take her. So I remember I got my driver's license and it was like, the next week I told my parents, I was like, I think I'm gonna drive up to northwest Arkansas. And my mom was like, oh, son, don't you think you ought to drive around town a little bit more and get some more experience before you take a four hour road trip? And I reluctantly agreed. I was like, okay, I'll do that.

[Jessa Seawald]

Give it a few more weeks.

[Ginger]

But, yeah, it was like a few weeks later. I remember I got up early. Yeah, early Sunday morning, I think. I don't know if my mom packed me a sandwich or what, but she kind of saw me out the door and she's like, all right, good luck, son. And off I went.

[Jeremy]

Oh, my God.

[Jessa Seawald]

Yeah, I was surprised to see him show up again at church because I knew that their family had been in town for like a baseball game or something that first time. And then he showed up again, and I was like, oh, this guy's back.

[Jeremy]

So you noticed that?

[Jessa Seawald]

We did. We did have a conversation then. And he said, he alluded that he was wrapping up his studies at the community college and he was thinking about transferring to the University of Arkansas. So he wanted to check out the area.

[Ben Seawald]

Right.

[Jessa Seawald]

Well, I come to find out over months and months of him coming out maybe once a month to visit our church. The only thing he checked out in the area was church and then my family's house because my mom Would be like, bro, come over and hang out.

[Ginger]

You gotta check out people.

[Ben Seawald]

He has to play some flag.

[Jessa Seawald]

Two locations. Yeah, but you brought a bag of.

[Ginger]

I did, eventually.

[Jeremy]

But here's a big win. Here's big win number one for Ben is you noticed him. Yeah, because that's the battle.

[Jessa Seawald]

We also had a very small church, and most everybody in the church was like, under the age of 16 probably, wouldn't you say?

[Jeremy]

Including Ben.

[Jessa Seawald]

So there was just about. Just about. He turned 18 the week week after we got an official introduction. So then he was, you know, bumped up a little bit. Sounded better.

[Ginger]

Yeah.

[Jessa Seawald]

At least you're an adult. So where was I going with that?

[Jeremy]

Oh, that was easy to notice him.

[Jessa Seawald]

Cause, yeah, there were no other guys. So I noticed him right off. I was like, oh, there's a cute guy. Like, there aren't any other guys that are around my age even remotely. But then I was in, like, full on denial because my sisters, after several times of him coming up to visit, they were like, oh, that guy definitely likes you. And I was like, no, he doesn't. He's thinking about going to the university, so he's just checking out the area. I was in full on denial up until the point where he, like, asked for my phone number. And then I was like, well, he didn't ask any of the other sisters for their phone number, so maybe. Maybe he likes me.

[Jeremy]

Did you give it to him?

[Jessa Seawald]

Yeah. Oh, he said we were having a theological discussion. And he said, so we can continue our theological discussion. So then. But then the first thing he did was text me and say, how about we write out our testimonies and send them to each other? And I was like, this is not the theological discussion we were having. This is way too personal. What are you doing?

[Ginger]

Well, that surprised me when she told me that, because I thought for sure she knew, because I thought you were being obvious. Because whenever I asked to get her phone number, her dad called me, Michelle over, and Jess was standing right there. And he said, michelle, Ben here is asking to get Jess's number. What do you think? And Mrs. Duggar just exploded with joy. Like you'd have thought we just got engaged. She said, we've been praying for this day for so long. This is wonderful.

[Jessa Seawald]

Okay, there's backstory here.

[Ginger]

And I was like, well, this is progressing quickly.

[Jeremy]

This is.

[Ginger]

I just thought I was getting a phone number. Now it seems like we're engaged.

[Jessa Seawald]

Like, all right, so funny. So my parents had been asked to come and speak at his homeschool graduation with A bunch of other homeschool kids from the area where he grew up. So they had gone down there, and everybody got up and gave, like, a little. Did you give a little speech or. They just told, like, a little dreams and ambitions and stuff like that. And when Ben had come across the stage and they had told about, like, his goals and stuff like that, and my dad was very impressed with that. And so he had leaned over to my mom and been like, oh, that's a good. You know. You noticed that, right? You noticed, like, they were.

[Ginger]

Yeah, they were handing out diplomas, you know, at the homeschool graduation.

[Jessa Seawald]

They had already been impressed by him. And then, you know, then this happened, which also, the getting my phone number was kind of a funny thing, because he didn't really know, like, how to approach it. In my family, I was the first daughter to be in a relationship. And so he didn't really know, like, do I just walk right up and say, like, can I have your phone number? Or do I need to, like. Like, ask dad permission to get her phone number or whatever? So he just kind of did Hybrid. He, like, walked up to me and he's like, I'm thinking about asking your dad if I can have your phone number. And I was like, cool. Like, I never had a guy say that they would just get my phone number.

[Ginger]

I think why I did that is I was. I was testing the waters a little bit. Like, she reacted.

[Jessa Seawald]

Am I like, oh, awesome. Great.

[Ginger]

Like, no, like, oh, then I would know, like, I'm not even going to go to the trouble.

[Jessa Seawald]

Yeah. So I think you were trying to gauge, like, feel it out. Like, okay, what is she trying to figure this out?

[Ginger]

You know, what's the way.

[Jessa Seawald]

Yeah, but I thought that was cute anyway. Yeah. So then my parents, like, said, I don't know if you just want to talk about theology. They talked to him. I did. I was.

[Ginger]

Yeah. Well, her dad says, I think there's a little more to this than just talking about theology. And Jess is standing right there. And of course, at this point, I'm not going to deny it. I just. I just kind of shrugged and I was like, well, I denied it.

[Jessa Seawald]

I denied it. I said, no, it's just the theological conversation we were having.

[Ginger]

I can't believe you didn't pick up a mic. You there, though.

[Jessa Seawald]

I was just clueless. I was clueless.

[Jeremy]

Hey, it worked out. So. Okay, here's an aspect of your relationship that Ginger and I have talked a lot about, because it's not. So. Come on back. Love this Little guy. This little guy Finn is. He's happy, but babies take a lot of attention. Have you guys noticed?

[Jessa Seawald]

Yeah.

[Jeremy]

Yes.

[Ginger]

He wants to be on the podcast.

[Jeremy]

Yeah, he does. He's been on it before, but he's just. Man, he's cute. But you guys start your relationship and it's intensely public, right?

[Jessa Seawald]

Yeah.

[Jeremy]

Like, so how did you ease into that? Cause for us, we didn't. We actually, like, secretly. Not secretly dated. Well, I guess secretly dated us, according to the public. But it wasn't a while before it was like, okay, we're ready to go public with this thing. And there were things, like, preparation for me, like, okay, they're gonna dig into your life. And, like, even the crew members would tell me. Like, I remember Bill telling me, like, you ready? I'm, like, ready for what? He's like, oh, like a wave of attention and criticism and scrutiny and all that.

[Jessa Seawald]

Yeah. So right off the bat, as soon as we were in a relationship, Ben went on his Facebook and changed his Facebook status to interrelationship.

[Ginger]

That's what you did back then.

[Jeremy]

It is what you did back then.

[Jessa Seawald]

So he didn't even think twice about it. But then it was, like, instantly public. So I think if we could go back and change it probably. If we wanted to have more privacy.

[Jeremy]

Now, how did they know he was connected to you?

[Jessa Seawald]

I don't know.

[Jeremy]

To watch that?

[Jessa Seawald]

I don't even know. I think probably, like, family and friends probably started talking, and then it got out.

[Jeremy]

Got it.

[Jessa Seawald]

But I think if we could go back and change it just to give ourselves a little more privacy on the front end, we probably would have, like, talked about, like, you know, just him being more aware of, like, oh, this is just. You're not sharing just with your Facebook friends, like, family and friends. It's going to go out.

[Ginger]

And just, if I remember correctly, initially, whenever we just were first texting, I don't think anybody really knew at that point.

[Jessa Seawald]

Oh, yeah.

[Ginger]

So we did have some time for a while. We. We had. We had a lot of conversation just over the phone, over text, in those early days.

[Jessa Seawald]

Couple months. Yeah.

[Ginger]

By the time it went public, by the time our relationship went public, we were both pretty certain that, hey, this is the one, Right?

[Jessa Seawald]

Yeah, for sure. But I don't know if we were prepared for that. Like, we weren't planning to announce that day.

[Jeremy]

Yeah, that's.

[Jessa Seawald]

I guess what I'm saying.

[Jeremy]

What was the windfall from that? What was the. What happened when you went public unexpectedly?

[Jessa Seawald]

Oh, I mean. I mean, I don't Think there was, like, negative reactions or any, like, negative effects other than just. I don't know. Sometimes it's nice to have your own little secret, you know, the privacy of having your relationship kind of on the down low for a while. But it was fine, honestly.

[Ginger]

Yeah, I don't think that we thought about it all that much. I think we were just so excited to be getting to know each other and the focus was on one another. There was that in the periphery, in the background, but it wasn't really just all consuming.

[Jeremy]

How did that public. How did the public scrutiny or the public attention put pressure on you guys in those early days?

[Jessa Seawald]

So I think I appreciated having those first few months of just texting and calling and stuff like that, just without everybody knowing. I liked the privacy factor there for a while because, yeah, so much of our life was in the limelight. And so it was nice to just have something that was, like, just between us and our families or whatever for a while. But also that was something that we had to discuss as our relationship progressed is because my life was so public. It just seems like, oh, you wouldn't care, like, anything. Just put it out there. But his, like, he and his family were very much just like, tell everybody, talk to everybody. Even a lot of, like, my, you know, friends, like, a lot of people in my contacts list and my phone wouldn't have known that I was talking to this guy. But, like, everybody, he, like, he just wears everything on his sleeve, so he just tells everybody. So. I remember the first time that I visited his church. Like, a lot of people at my church still didn't know that, like, we were texting, we were talking, that I, like, was getting to know this guy. Cause I just wanted to kind of ease slowly into this and not make it go public, I guess. But then when I visited his church for the first time, everybody in the church, his little church, everybody knew that we were talking, and they would come up to me intrigued, treat me like we were, like, getting married or something. They're like, are you Jessa? And I was like, yes, I am. And it was just like. I mean, it was cute. It was so sweet. People were so excited for us. But, like, he was much more public than I was earlier on, I guess. And maybe some of that was just kind of being, like, a little bit more guarded or whatever.

[Ginger]

Yeah. I mean, we kind of had to learn to be sensitive to each other's way of doing things, I guess. But my. Yeah, I remember we had a few conversations. It was just like. Like, you realize if you. If you put this out publicly, if you say this, you know. Yeah, everybody's gonna.

[Jeremy]

Was that an adjustment for you? I mean, having to figure out, how do you navigate that a little bit?

[Ginger]

Yeah. I'm sure we had some conversations about it, but I don't remember it being like a. A terrible learning curve. It wasn't. It wasn't traumatic in any way, but, yeah, it just added one more thing that we had to work through and talk about and learn to be sensitive to each other in as well.

[Jessa Seawald]

Well, I think we wanted to be pretty certain that we really, really liked each other before bringing it into, like, the television world. Because I feel like, you know, I mean, obviously you can't always control that, but once you kind of talk about, like, oh, we're together, like, we're a thing, and then. And then that person disappears from the show, well, that's just weird. And then you get all that. It's hard for them. It's hard for you, you know, so we wanted to be pretty sure of the direction that our relationship was heading before we went on camera.

[Jeremy]

Right.

[Jessa Seawald]

And so there's enough pressure.

[Jeremy]

There's enough pressure as is trying to figure out, like, is this person the one for me? And then you have millions of people looking on.

[Jessa Seawald]

Right.

[Jeremy]

And then if you do break up, because there have been breakups on breakfast, but then everyone's going, why? What happened?

[Jessa Seawald]

Yeah, people react to, who's this?

[Jeremy]

Whose decision?

[Ginger]

I don't think that. I think by the time it did start to go pretty public, I was pretty certain, like, hey, I want this to go towards marriage. So I wasn't really thinking about, like, what if it doesn't? Yeah, yeah. You know, I'm just 18 year old me. I'm just like, hey, you know, this is great. We're doing life. This is the one. I don't care if everybody knows it. But yeah, like, definitely that. That is another layer to it that you'd have had.

[Jessa Seawald]

I don't. I don't think I was not on board either. I think I was on board, but I don't know, maybe I was just kind of savoring the quietness of it all.

[Jeremy]

It seems like you were a lot more kind of happy. Go lucky. Maybe naive in the sense of, like, hey, I like this girl. You know, I don't want to be alone. Whereas Jessa had been getting interest for years from people, and you'd had a lot more exposure in that sense. And you'd had siblings. You're the oldest sibling. You'd seen Siblings in relationships. And so you were probably a little more reticent of, like, well, let's see if things work out. And he's going, I met this great girl. She's wonderful. I'm in love. We're getting married.

[Ginger]

I'm in love. I'm in love, and I don't care who knows it.

[Jeremy]

Yeah, exactly.

[Ginger]

Is that Elf from Will Ferrell from Elf.

[Jeremy]

So, yeah. And there's, like, different. Did that create, like, tension? Were you at points like, hey, dude, chill. Like, calm down.

[Jessa Seawald]

I mean, we definitely had some conversations, just preferences on that regard of, like, hey. Like, I don't know.

[Ginger]

I seem to remember there might have been one or two conversations like that where she's just like, hey, you know.

[Jessa Seawald]

Not that I wasn't certain about him, but I just liked the quietness of it for time. But then also, you can't stay there forever. Like, at some point, I did want the world.

[Ginger]

Yeah. The only, like, weird thing for me is, like, we'd be sitting there talking, and then out of the corner of my eye, all of a sudden, I would see this camera inching closer. All of a sudden I'm like, oh, oh. But I'm not supposed to look at the camera, though. Okay.

[Jeremy]

I see.

[Ginger]

Like, I knew I'd grown up watching her family show, so I knew the deal. But it did take a little getting used to. Just like, oh, okay, we're talking, but now we're on camera. Okay.

[Jessa Seawald]

That's so funny. I thought you were gonna say, out of the corner of your eye, you would see one of my siblings scowling at you.

[Ginger]

Well, I saw that, too, because it.

[Jessa Seawald]

Was so funny going into. Before I was in a relationship, I was like, when I start getting to know a guy, I want every single one of my 19 siblings to love and adore him and get a blessing and approval and just be BFFs with him and all this stuff.

[Ginger]

That's a recipe for never. You're never gonna get married. Right there.

[Jessa Seawald]

High expectation. And okay. None of my siblings didn't like him as a person, but I was the first daughter to be in a serious relationship. And so there was a little more.

[Ginger]

Suspicion, I think, because I wasn't from their, like, friend group, their circle. You know, I'm this. This stranger, you know, this outsider. And so they're like, yeah, there was a little more guarded, a little more suspicious of me. Right.

[Jessa Seawald]

And I think some of my sisters, it was probably like, they were maybe just like, who is this guy coming in to steal our sister away?

[Jeremy]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jessa Seawald]

So I remember Joy especially. It was so cute. She would sit there and she'd be.

[Ben Seawald]

Like, who is this guy? What are you?

[Jessa Seawald]

Like, she would just kind of give us this eye. Or she would tell us, like, you need to move away from her.

[Ginger]

You're sitting too close.

[Jessa Seawald]

Yeah. She would tell us things, which was so funny. Then when she was in a relationship, we would be teasing her. Joy, do you want us to do to you what you did to us? No, she didn't give us that hard of a time. But she would definitely give Ben the stink eye and be like, I'm watching you.

[Jeremy]

Oh, I know, the stink eye, you.

[Ginger]

Know, Hey, I needed it, you know, so you have.

[Jessa Seawald]

You probably did.

[Jeremy]

You had camera lenses staring at you. You had little sibling lenses staring at you. Yeah, that's a lot to go into. Yeah, it was.

[Jessa Seawald]

At some point I had to realize, you know what? Not everybody has to like him to the degree that I like him in the sense that I'm the one who's marrying him. So like, obviously I don't want anybody to hate him. If anybody had a genuine concern, I wanted to hear that. But no, it wasn't that. It was just like, who are you taking my sister away. You know, like, it was a new.

[Ben Seawald]

Thing because thinking about, like, okay, are you gonna move away?

[Jessa Seawald]

Which I thought I was for the first good, you know, eight or nine months. The plan was I was going to move down. Where to?

[Ben Seawald]

Like Hot Springs or Little Rock now. Okay, so I do have to say I was along on this ride with you. I was able to sit there, be your chaperone at that time. And I remember going down to Little Rock and there was one time or hot Springs area, and there was one time that we were riding in the truck and going back to Ben's driving for some reason, I was along for the ride. On most of your relationship, I knew the ins and outs of a lot of things.

[Ginger]

But yeah, you were right there between us.

[Ben Seawald]

One thing, I was between you and the trunk.

[Ginger]

Because I was like this single.

[Ben Seawald]

Yeah, we switched.

[Jessa Seawald]

Cause I was like, that's weird.

[Ben Seawald]

You're like, that's strange to my guy. There was one point though, that for some reason I missed out knowing about when Ben got his driver's license. So we were sitting there and we were driving along on the back street.

[Jessa Seawald]

Yeah, it was a three seater truck.

[Ben Seawald]

In Hot Springs, I believe. And anyhow, Ben just casually points out, oh, yeah, that's where I went off in the ditch when it was icy. And he's just casually Mentions that. And so I'm thinking, okay, I'll take that into consideration. But you're just whipping around those back streets. And here and there I was like, you know, okay, I don't know if I should give him driving tips. Then. Then the moment happens. He said, or you said, oh, yeah, something about him driving for nine months. He's only been driving for about.

[Ginger]

He's pretty good for. Only.

[Ben Seawald]

Only been driving for nine months. You're pretty good driver. And I immediately froze. And I was like, nine months. So then I started giving him driving tips because I was like, I was freaked out because I am the type of person who. We had all the sibling drivers who would take their turns learning to drive. Whoever got in the driver's seat first, even if they're 14, they just got their permit. They would drive the family to church in the 15 passenger van. So I'd make sure I'd hop out of the van and ride or drive a Suburban or something else to church because I could not stand to sit in the back of that car thinking my life was in their hands. But when she said that, oh, it's a pretty good job for that. And I was thinking, then it started to add up. I was like, wait, so if you've only been driving that long and you were telling me how you just went off in the ditch in the winter, that was just a couple months ago when you went off in the ditch. And that could happen to anybody. But I was like, bro, I don't.

[Jessa Seawald]

Know if I like, I was holding on extra tight over the ride.

[Ben Seawald]

And then I did start saying, oh, maybe you should slow down, break before the curve. Yeah, it was great.

[Ginger]

Yeah. Being along for the ride was. It took on a whole new meaning.

[Jeremy]

Oh, yeah.

[Ginger]

Commitment at that point.

[Ben Seawald]

Oh, yeah, it did.

[Jessa Seawald]

Yeah. And it was a stick shift too, so it was a little extra.

[Ben Seawald]

I was actually impressed that you were doing that for your first car. Stick shift in that little red Mazda or whatever it was. Toyota something.

[Jessa Seawald]

Toyota Tacoma, Tacoma.

[Ben Seawald]

That was it.

[Jessa Seawald]

150,000 miles on it.

[Ginger]

My uncle's old work truck. I bought it from him with 350,000 miles already on it.

[Ben Seawald]

Do you consider that a truck when it's the small little ride? It wasn't even normal Tacoma.

[Jeremy]

Oh, yeah.

[Jessa Seawald]

It was a little money, but it was a truck.

[Ginger]

My uncle made a lot of money working, you know, out of that truck, you know, hauling windshield. It's a good little truck.

[Ben Seawald]

Let me just say it was a little tight in there.

[Jessa Seawald]

It was a little.

[Ben Seawald]

It was a Little tight in there.

[Jessa Seawald]

I liked it because I felt it was unpretentious. I felt like he didn't roll up in this big oversized dog, you know, being like, oh, look at me, you know, he rolled up his cute little truck and he wasn't self conscious about it. Like, he wasn't, like, apologetic or embarrassed, you know, he was just like, let's go. I'm Ben. I'm doing my thing. This is my ride. You know? And I was like, I like that.

[Ben Seawald]

Like, it was small town, humble.

[Jessa Seawald]

I like that.

[Ben Seawald]

That's good. Way to go.

[Jeremy]

Have you guys celebrated 10 years?

[Jessa Seawald]

Yes. Yep. Last November.

[Jeremy]

As you look back on your first 10 years, has it gone how you thought it would go?

[Ginger]

It seems like a blur.

[Jessa Seawald]

I know.

[Ginger]

So I don't know how we thought it would go, but it's like you blink and it's like, oh, whoa. We've been married for 10 years.

[Jessa Seawald]

I know.

[Ginger]

If you see old pictures and you're like, that seems like it was yesterday.

[Jessa Seawald]

I know. I think that's the biggest thing. I mean, it's been, in so many ways, way more amazing than you could ever imagine. Like, you can't dream of a relationship getting better. Like, you think you're so in love with the person when you. On the day you marry them, and then with each passing year, just like, we've just fallen more in love. Like, I feel like I just love him so much more than I ever thought possible on the day that we got married. And, you know, just in the. In the hard times, in the good times, you know, when the kids are sick with a stomach bug and you're both up all night tag teaming, throwing stuff in the lawn and just hanging in there, you know, all the postpartum seasons or whatever. But, yeah, just. I think in my opinion, he's like a thousand times more handsome than the day I met him. And I thought he was the cutest guy in the world. You know?

[Ginger]

Like, it's.

[Jessa Seawald]

He's always saying, like, oh, I need to put off about ten pounds. I'm like, babe, you look amazing. Like, you look amazing. Seriously. He's got this great.

[Jeremy]

Well, let's throw more than a goatee now.

[Jessa Seawald]

Yeah.

[Ben Seawald]

Okay, let's go back to that handlebar mustache. He was. He was head for handlebar.

[Ginger]

Oh, no.

[Jessa Seawald]

He did. He's. Yeah, he's talking about getting rid of the beard again.

[Ben Seawald]

Are you gonna go just for the stash? Is it the stash?

[Jessa Seawald]

It's the mustache look. I like it.

[Ben Seawald]

Yeah.

[Jessa Seawald]

You do that sometimes, right? You go under the mustache. He does. And he says it's just high maintenance. Because if you're trying to shave every day or whatever, it's not as easy. But then again, all the beard products you use.

[Ginger]

Yeah, well, yeah, but over the 10 years, I mean, it's. I don't know if it's gone exactly like we thought it would go, but not all that different. I mean, I knew I wanted to be in ministry. I didn't know exactly what that would look like. We knew we wanted to have, you know, a decent number of kids. Maybe like six or seven or eight somewhere in there. And here's number six due in July. So, I mean. Yeah, I don't feel like it's gone all that much different than we. Than we thought it would.

[Jeremy]

Are you gonna stop with six or do you think you're gonna keep going?

[Jessa Seawald]

That's the question. If you ask me right now, I would say yes. But I think we've said that ever since about three kids, it's been like, oh, yeah, this is the last one. And then, you know, about a year and a half, two years later, I'm like, they're just. Babies are just so cute. We just need to have just one more. And then I used. Whenever it was like, number five with George, our last. I said, I'm number five. Five is such a special number in my heart. And then you should really have five.

[Ben Seawald]

Then you remembered me.

[Jessa Seawald]

Actually, I did use that. I said, my best friend was number six in the family. You should really have a number six. She did say that.

[Ginger]

Thank you. Many times. She's like, we got at least have. Cause I'm a number five in the lineup.

[Ben Seawald]

She's like, remember Ginge?

[Jessa Seawald]

I said, that wouldn't work out so well for, like, you know, Josie or something. I was number 19, so.

[Ben Seawald]

Oh, mercy. Oh, my goodness.

[Ginger]

So this is something that a lot of couples, though, it can create a lot of tension. Like one spouse wants to have more kids than the other, or there's just a different expectation there. And I've talked to a lot of people that have just really struggled through that as a couple.

[Jeremy]

So you guys feel like you're on the same page?

[Ginger]

We haven't always been on the same page. Like, there have been times when we've been like, well, are we sure we wanna have more? Is this where we should stop?

[Jessa Seawald]

Yeah. We had some pretty big conversations, I think, before this one. Cause I think he was like, I'm content here. And I think the main thing is wanting to know that you have the Bandwidth to pour into each individual one, and if he's feeling overloaded with work, and then am I getting enough time with the kids that we already have? And I think that's definitely something to take into consideration. I don't think it's just this. Oh, that doesn't matter. Like, that's a huge deal. You want to know that you have the capacity to love and nurture each one that God gives you. And so, yeah, so that was definitely something that we've had a lot of conversations about, and I think we just. We take it one kid at a time. So.

[Ginger]

Yeah, well, and I've kind of deferred to her because she's the one carrying the baby and birthing the baby.

[Jessa Seawald]

Yeah. Like my husband.

[Ginger]

If she wants to go through all of that and have another one, like, who am I to be over here? Like, no, we're stopping right now, you know, so.

[Ben Seawald]

So this is giving me a little ginger.

[Jessa Seawald]

Yes. There you go.

[Ginger]

So, yeah, Ginger.

[Jessa Seawald]

Nicole.

[Ginger]

Well, which one?

[Ben Seawald]

Which one are you gonna go with? Number six.

[Jeremy]

So what is your guess on, you think it's a girl or boy?

[Jessa Seawald]

I haven't told y' all yet.

[Ben Seawald]

I think it's a girl.

[Jeremy]

I voted boy, even though my gut is telling me girl, But I vote boy.

[Jessa Seawald]

Wait, what'd you say?

[Ben Seawald]

I said girl.

[Jessa Seawald]

So, historically, we've told y' all the gender of a lot of our babies, because y' all are, like, far away, and I don't feel like petting. We're not gonna be, like, trying to, you know, get it out of you. Should we.

[Ginger]

Should we tell them right here live on the podcast?

[Jessa Seawald]

Live.

[Ginger]

Make a big reveal.

[Jessa Seawald]

Let's cut the cameras.

[Ben Seawald]

Wow, Ben, you're living on the wild side.

[Jessa Seawald]

You'll have to cut it out, but we'll tell. You might as well live on the edge.

[Jeremy]

Okay, so the gender of your baby. What's the gender of your baby?

[Jessa Seawald]

It's.

[Ben Seawald]

That's so cool.

[Jeremy]

Well, congratulations. Thanks for telling us.

[Ben Seawald]

Thanks for telling us.

[Jeremy]

That's exciting.

[Jessa Seawald]

Just, you know, we're going to be.

[Ben Seawald]

Telling, so we're gonna cut that part.

[Jeremy]

Well, all day, they're just gonna hear a beep.

[Jessa Seawald]

I like this.

[Ben Seawald]

And we're not gonna talk about it.

[Jeremy]

I'll keep the suspense.

[Ginger]

Yeah.

[Ben Seawald]

That's so exciting, though.

[Jeremy]

Yeah, that is exciting. Well, look, this is unfortunate, but you've got a plane to catch, and so we've got to wrap it up here.

[Ben Seawald]

We're going to have to circle back, guys. I feel like you're going to want more of Ben and Jess, because this is just too good.

[Jeremy]

It's a lot of fun.

[Jessa Seawald]

This is what. It's too good.

[Jeremy]

We'll either fly you back out for a podcast, or we'll fly to Arkansas and come to our studio. Yeah, we'll come to the Seawall studio.

[Ginger]

We don't have one yet. There's so much more to design our studio.

[Ben Seawald]

Oh, we should set you guys up.

[Jeremy]

Here's the thing is, like, we've. It's incredible think that our relationship has gone back 10 years. Yeah, your relationship with her has gone back 31 years, bless her heart. But there's so much more to talk about, and one of the things I think would be really good to talk about coming up in the future is you both have experienced a lot of the same things as mothers, both in the joys of motherhood, but in the loss of motherhood. Having lost little ones in miscarriage, and in hearing both of you talk about that, you have so much insight into it. And I think you both have handled it from my perspective in a way that would be really a blessing to others. So it'd be. You know, I'd love to have a conversation where.

[Jessa Seawald]

Yeah, I'd love to just go back.

[Jeremy]

About that, but we love you guys. We're so grateful. I have a particular affinity for you because you've given me my wife, my children, my life. It's all.

[Jessa Seawald]

It's all done it.

[Jeremy]

The Lord, he uses people, and he used you guys so well. Appreciate that.

[Ginger]

It's so special to have been a part of that.

[Jeremy]

You know what we should put up here? Maybe I'll put this up on the podcast for people to see. Is that first picture we all took together at that little gathering at my house in San Antonio.

[Ben Seawald]

Let's do it.

[Jeremy]

Yeah, It'll be interesting to see how different we look or maybe how similar. I don't think Ben's changed it.

[Jessa Seawald]

Well, he didn't have the thick beard and he had his glasses, and he.

[Jeremy]

Had his hat that he'd wear like an Arkansas boy, like, with the hair coming down, and then he'd put the hat here with the hair coming out.

[Ginger]

I was trying to figure out, out, man, what's the way. Yeah. What's style?

[Jessa Seawald]

You found your style. You're good.

[Jeremy]

But we love you guys. We're grateful for you. Thanks for hanging out.

[Ben Seawald]

Thanks for sitting down, talking.

[Jessa Seawald]

We love you all. It's been great.