Episode Overview

Podcast: The Jinger & Jeremy Podcast
Episode Title: Her Dad Gave Me A 200 Question Exam Before I Could Take Her Out On A Date
Date: December 3, 2025
Hosts: Jinger Vuolo & Jeremy Vuolo

In this episode, Jinger and Jeremy dive deep into the infamous "courtship questionnaire"—the set of 200+ questions Jeremy was required to answer by Jinger’s father before they could formally begin dating. They share first-hand stories, reflect honestly about their upbringing and relationship journey, and offer candid insights into how this approach to dating shaped their lives and faith. The pair read through and react to actual questions from the document, discuss its origins in their faith community, and consider the broader implications for relationships both inside and outside of the reality TV spotlight.

Main Discussion Points & Insights

1. Introducing the Courtship Questionnaire

• Jeremy recounts the shock and seriousness of receiving a 60-page, 235-question document from Mr. Duggar before being allowed to pursue Jinger.

  • “Let me give you guys a preview of what these questions mean… What idols do you struggle with in your life? What is your churchgoing history? …Have you ever kissed a girl? How do you feel about having done this before marriage?” (00:30; 01:40)
  • They emphasize that Duggar courtship rules are neither casual nor typical, especially compared to mainstream dating cultures.

• Jinger contextualizes the family’s intentions.

  • “Most people, when they want to date someone, they just ask that person… For our culture, it’s a whole different level of commitment before you know the person.” (07:09)

2. Life Under the Spotlight and the Need for Vetting

• Navigating Intentions and Publicity
  • Being on TV made it difficult to discern who was genuinely interested in Jinger vs. her fame:

    “You don’t know if they want to just get to know you because you’re on a TV show… So at some point if you have this vetting process and they're gonna have to talk to my dad, it can be intimidating and it’s kind of like a good thing.” (17:38)

  • The questionnaire acted as a filter for genuinely committed suitors.

3. What’s Inside the Questionnaire: Sample Questions & Honest Reflections

• Sample Questions:

  • “Was there ever any sexual immorality in your family? Please explain.”
  • “When is a son no longer under the authority of his parents?”
  • “Do you tithe your income, if so, gross or net?”
  • “Have you ever heard voices in your mind or had repeating, nagging thoughts…?”
  • “Do you have outstanding debts to pay? How much? When will they be paid off?”

  (14:03 - 17:00)

• Jeremy and Jinger’s Candid Reactions

  • Jeremy: “I mean, this is just—there’s 235 of these… I would have been like, I’m just trying to get coffee with this girl!” (16:51; 11:56)
  • Jinger jokes about sending the list to Love is Blind producers, noting mainstream dating skips such deep questions until it’s often too late. (17:00)

4. The Impact on Their Relationship

• Acceleration & Depth

  • Jinger: “It definitely propelled it very fast because I remember my dad got the questionnaire back, and at some point he was like… He let me read through it, and it actually gave me more peace knowing more about you.” (17:34)
  • They discuss how this supercharged the emotional and spiritual intimacy between them before their first date.

• Potential Downsides & Cultural Critique

  • Jeremy points out: “This is almost—the danger of formulating… You can’t formulate relationships.” (19:33)
  • Jinger agrees that while it’s helpful to air tough topics early, it may also “really reject people who don’t have squeaky clean answers”—removing the organic growth in relationships. (24:06)
  • Both note that real transformation and knowledge come through shared experiences, not just answers on paper.

5. Faith, Upbringing, and the Role of Community

• Honesty in Faith Journeys

  • Jeremy is transparent about his own spiritual journey:

    “My testimony is interesting…I’m unsure to when the Lord actually saved me. I say, I make a profession at 5. But then there’s a season… I really fell into a lot of sin. I wasn’t living for the Lord.” (31:16-32:40)

  • Jinger appreciates his honesty over “perfect front” answers—which was rare in her community. (30:22)

• The Value of Character References

  • Jeremy solicited feedback from close friends and family as part of his answers:

    “I called the three closest men to me in my church and life, and their feedback is below. My own thoughts are below theirs.” (38:09)

• The Limiting Effects of Over-Formulaic Approaches

  • They reflect on the IBPL (Bill Gothard) influence—seeking to control outcomes through rigid processes, which “life ain’t that way.” (27:07)
  • Jinger: “You can’t alter them at the altar. You can’t change them once you marry them.” (42:35)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Jeremy on the Size and Intensity:

  “Three hours after I’d begun, the page count clocked in at 107 pages.” (05:15)

• Jinger on Her Dad’s Wisdom:

  “He’s a smart cookie. He knew what he was doing.” (10:00)

• Jeremy on the Dissonance as an Adult:

  “The way you guys did relationships was as if you were like 14 or 15 years old…I was being told like, okay, you gotta answer these questions and we’ll see. It was a very interesting season of…dissonance in my life.” (34:36)

• Jinger on Finding Trust:

  “I feel safe with him because of who you were and your heart. I knew that, yeah, you didn’t grow up in the same setting I did, you didn’t have all the boxes checked…I had such peace entering a relationship with you.” (30:22)

• On Character & Community:

  “Having some character references is great. You do that when you’re applying for a job…It’s so helpful when you can have that reference from somebody who knows that person well.” (38:58)

• Grandma Duggar’s Wisdom:

  “You can’t alter them at the altar. You can’t change them once you marry them.” (42:35)

Important Timestamps

| Time | Segment / Highlight | |-----------|------------------------------------------------------------------| | 00:30 | Jeremy introduces the courtship questionnaire concept | | 01:40 | Preview of actual questions from the form | | 07:09 | Jinger describes Duggar dating as a ‘different level’ | | 11:56 | Jeremy’s disbelief at intensity: “I’m just trying to get coffee…”| | 16:49-17:00 | Reading more sample questions aloud | | 17:34 | Jinger explains why the process gave her peace and assurance | | 19:33 | Jeremy critiques potential pitfalls of ‘formulating relationships’| | 24:06 | Dangers of ‘squeaky clean’ expectations in courtship | | 31:16-34:40| Jeremy shares the beginning of his written answers (spiritual) | | 34:36 | Jeremy describes the clash between Duggar process and independent adulthood | | 38:09 | On using trusted references and community validation | | 42:35 | Grandma Duggar’s “altar” quote | | 43:13-47:44| Testing family background questions and personal reflections |

Takeaways & Closing Thoughts

• Relationship Building: The process was rigorous and, at times, overwhelming, yet created a foundation of intentionality and honesty for Jinger and Jeremy.
• Balance & Authenticity: Both hosts advocate for blending clarity and genuine connection: not shying away from important topics, but not relying too heavily on checklists or formulas that strip relationships of their organic growth and real discovery.
• Community Checks Matter: Encouragement for listeners to seek community input and references—whether through friends, mentors, or church family—when pursuing serious relationships.
• Real Faith Through Imperfection: Jinger’s strongest sense of peace came not from perfect answers but from Jeremy’s willingness to be vulnerable and real.

Engage with Jinger & Jeremy: The episode promises more stories if listeners want, suggesting a possible future series on more questions and reflections from the fabled courtship questionnaire.