The Jinger & Jeremy Podcast

Episode 86: Jill & Derick on Losing Their Baby at 5 Months

Release Date: March 11, 2026
Guests: Jill and Derick Dillard
Main Theme: Navigating the heartbreaking loss of their daughter Isla Marie at 5 months gestation, practical help for grieving families, the realities of miscarriage and stillbirth, and faith-based hope in the midst of pain.

Episode Overview

In this deeply personal episode, Jinger and Jeremy Vuolo sit down with Jill and Derick Dillard to talk candidly about the loss of their daughter, Isla Marie, at 5 months pregnant. The conversation is a compassionate and vulnerable look into grief, the hidden complexities of miscarriage and stillbirth, and the ways their faith and community provided tangible support. The Dillards offer practical advice for others facing similar losses, share memorable moments from their journey of mourning, and gently encourage listeners who may be walking through, or supporting someone in, a season of sorrow.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

Setting the Stage: The Reality of Pregnancy Loss

• Pregnancy Loss Is Common But Rarely Discussed
  • Jill shares that "one in three to one in four pregnancies end in miscarriage or loss," highlighting how often this pain is silently endured. (00:13, 02:10)
  • She encourages those who may find loss triggering to “be okay with pushing pause,” giving permission to engage with such stories when ready. (02:10)

Jill and Derick’s Journey Through Loss

Family Background and Previous Losses

• Jill recounts her upbringing in a large family ("number four in the Duggar family") and her exposure to both frequent pregnancies and losses within her community. (04:04)
• Prior to losing Isla, Jill and Derick experienced an earlier miscarriage, naming their lost child River.
• Medical history: Jill endured a uterine rupture with her second child, leading to high-risk pregnancies and thorough counseling before future conceptions. (08:13, 08:30)

Early Pregnancy and Home Dynamics

• First Trimester Challenges
  • Jill describes extreme nausea and being bedridden, while Derick managed home and children—learning practical lessons on the fly.
  • They joke about “dad rules” and the learning curve of solo parenting, lightening the conversation with stories about grocery shopping and feeding their youngest, Freddie. (05:22–07:41)

When Things Went Wrong

• Recognizing Symptoms

  • Near the second trimester, Jill experienced "a few weird symptoms" (spotting, unease), prompting a trip to the ER. (12:31–14:57)
  • Jill, drawing on her midwifery training, asked for specific tests and voiced her need to "do whatever will help you have peace...so you don’t have regrets." (Derek, 15:18)

• Receiving the News

  • The ER doctor told them, "I'm so sorry," confirming their worst fears: their baby had died. Jill describes the moment as “like a bad dream,” with both breaking into tears. (16:44–16:54)
  • They faced additional pressures: making urgent medical and logistical decisions, balancing work obligations, arranging childcare, and planning for induction—all while in shock. (19:05–20:16)

Community and Tangible Support

• The Power of Community
  • Jill and Derick stress the importance of engaging with church and family before tragedy strikes, saying it is "vital" to have support already in place. (Derek, 21:35–22:36)
  • Examples include meal trains, care packages, friends who cleaned their house, and a pastor's family offering continuous emotional support. (22:45–24:06)
  • "Practical things like that, ways to show love...even just like. So fast forward a few days...very traumatic delivery process." (Jill, 23:15–24:06)

Delivery, Aftermath, and Grief

• Delivery and Unique Moments
  • The time of Isla’s birth eerily mirrored Derick’s own, a “little providence” offering solace. (24:16–24:43)
  • Grieving “looked different” for each of them: Jill’s approach was to “busy myself” with necessary arrangements, while Derick had to compartmentalize at work—sometimes handling tragic cases that sharpened the sting of their personal loss. (25:22–28:31)
  • Coming home “with empty arms” was profoundly painful: “Nobody prepares you for that,” Jill shares. (30:00–31:05)
  • Memorialization became important—funeral, burial, tangible tokens—helping them “remember your baby and remember their life in a significant way.” (34:17–35:00)

Practical Tips & Legal Help for Bereaved Families

• Tangible Ways to Grieve and Memorialize
  • Taking photos, holding ceremonies, creating keepsake boxes, ordering personalized items (e.g., seed packets), and involving children in planning and memorials. (47:33–49:11, 53:53–58:24)
  • Jill details resources like Holy Sews (providing custom layettes for tiny babies), and tips for hospital and cemetery arrangements. (35:00–38:39)
  • Understanding legal rights: In Arkansas, “Paisley’s law” allows parents of stillborn babies to get a birth certificate and tax credit, provided arrangements are made in advance. (61:32–63:02)
  • "It's more about seeing your baby's name on something...She was here." (Jill, 63:05)

Faith, Hope, and the Ongoing Journey

• Faith As Anchor in Grief
  • The Dillards turn to their church, pastor, and the Psalms for comfort. Jill emphasizes honesty in grief, the importance of not masking pain, and practical spiritual steps (Bible verse reminders, music, allowing space for not being okay). (66:53–68:10)
  • On hope: "Hope doesn’t mean it takes away the pain...Hope doesn’t mean it erases memories." (Jeremy, 63:32–63:44)
  • “Recognizing that it’s not meant to be this way. It wasn’t normal. Like, ultimately, things are gonna be better…But it’s okay to not be okay for a season.” (Derek & Jill, 68:10–68:38)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Hearing the News:
  "They said, I’m so sorry. And of course, immediately, we start crying. And I was like, no, this can’t be happening."
  — Jill (00:22, 16:44)

• On Community:
  "If it weren’t for our church family, I don’t know that we would have made it through."
  — Derek (21:35)

• On Proactive Support:
  "You have to be proactive in building your community before you’re met with intensity and hard situations. Because it will come inevitably."
  — Jill (21:46)

• Tangible Help:
  “Lots of things not to say. ‘How are you?’ is...not what you want to say. Better would be, ‘Thinking about you today, praying for you.’”
  — Jill & Derek (42:17–42:53)

• The Reality of Coming Home:
  “Nobody prepares you for that…coming home with empty arms…I was a train wreck. Like, it was like nothing I’ve ever experienced before. The sense of loss and detachment...”
  — Jill (30:00–33:02, 38:39)

• Honoring Life:
  “No matter the gestation, a life is a life at conception. That’s why I…abhor the viability test…what’s viable now doesn’t cease to become a life when it wasn’t before science caught up.”
  — Derek (48:41)

• For Grieving Children:
  "We told our kids...it’s very important that we use normal, regular terms...not say fluffy words like 'went to be with Jesus.'"
  — Jill (52:38–54:20)

• Finding Hope:
  “You’ll never…Hope doesn’t mean it takes away the pain…The dark night of the soul leads to the joy in the morning…”
  — Jeremy (63:32–63:44)

• On Spiritual Practices in Grief:
  “Read the Psalms...Write [verses] on your wrist...Sticky notes all over your kitchen...It’s not all about the feeling, but to remind yourself of God’s truth.”
  — Jill (66:53–68:10)

Important Timestamps

• 00:13 – Jill shares statistics and the reality of pregnancy loss.
• 04:04 – Jill recounts family background and previous miscarriages.
• 07:56 – Discovery of being pregnant with Isla Marie.
• 12:31–14:57 – Realizing something is wrong and hospital visit.
• 16:44–16:54 – Receiving the devastating news of loss.
• 19:05–20:16 – Navigating immediate decisions and practical complexities.
• 21:35–22:36 – The role of community and church in times of crisis.
• 24:16–24:43 – Meaningful coincidences during Isla’s birth.
• 30:00–31:05 – Returning home without a baby, the tangible weight of grief.
• 34:17–35:00 – Decisions about funerals, memorials, tangible mementoes.
• 47:33–49:11 – Involving children in memorial plans, creating keepsakes.
• 61:32–63:02 – Legal help for families: stillbirth certificates and recognition.
• 66:53–68:10 – Faith-based tools for grieving and the honesty of sorrow.

Practical Wisdom & Takeaways

For those grieving:

• Busy yourself with planning and memorialization—it can be "the last bit of parenting you get to do." (53:53–56:00)
• Don’t rush funerals or ceremonies; allow yourself time for decisions.
• Take tangible keepsakes: photos, mementos, certificates.
• Seek counseling or grief-specific therapy when ready.

For friends/family supporting someone in loss:

• Offer practical help—meals, errands, childcare—without expecting responses.
• Avoid asking “How are you?” and instead send short, caring messages, or specific offers of help.
• Educate yourself on legal entitlements in your state for miscarried or stillborn babies (certificates, tax credits, burial options).

Spiritual insight:

• Turn to the Psalms and meditative Scripture reading; lean on the church for continual support.
• Understand that hope and pain coexist.
• It’s okay to not be okay; grieving takes time and comes in waves.

Conclusion

This episode stands as a profound, gentle resource for anyone facing child loss, offering validation, practical aid, and a sense of solidarity rooted in faith and real-world experience. Jill and Derick’s openhearted sharing, woven with Jeremy and Jinger’s compassion, creates an atmosphere of hope and help for all who listen.

For further connection or resources, Jill and Derick invite listeners to reach out through their social media channels.