Were You Nervous to Marry Me?

Summary

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Podcast Summary: The Jinger & Jeremy Podcast

Episode: Were You Nervous to Marry Me?
Date: June 10, 2026
Hosts: Jinger Vuolo & Jeremy Vuolo

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Overview

This episode dives deep into Jinger and Jeremy Vuolo’s reflections on marriage: their anxieties (or lack thereof) before tying the knot, the surprises of married life, and how their backgrounds—Jinger’s notably public upbringing and Jeremy’s observations of others’ relationships—influenced their perspectives. Alongside these heart-to-heart discussions, the couple shares light-hearted updates about family life, summer in Los Angeles, and recent travel adventures with their daughters.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Adjusting to Summer, Family, and Local Adventures

• Summer Routine Changes: Both hosts discuss the upsides and downsides of summer—less strict schedules lead to less consistent wake-ups. Jeremy confesses to sleeping in more, and the challenge when the kids rise early, even with less school structure.
  • “You get up with the kids, which is very helpful. But I’ve been tired.” – Jinger [02:56]
• San Diego Trip: The Vuolos recount a mini-vacation to San Diego, prioritizing local getaways over long-distance travel for family time.
  • Highlights included an Airbnb on the marina, playful moments throwing footballs from the balcony, and easy access to a beach and neighborhood stores.
  • Safety-conscious Jinger was nervous about their roughhousing: “Jeremy, we're staying in an Airbnb, this is probably not smart because it is all glass all the way across the front. So if you throw the ball up and you miss...there's potential for that glass to break.” – Jinger [07:28]
• Reflections on Airbnbs vs Hotels: After a past bad experience, Jeremy describes the research (“Google Earth the area”) and logistics necessary for a family-friendly stay, ultimately praising recent positive visits.
  • “Unless you multiply hotel rooms, if a kid goes to sleep, everybody has to go to sleep.” – Jeremy [09:27]

Kid-Friendly Destinations: Legoland vs Disney

• Legoland Impressions: The hosts rave about Legoland being ideal for young kids, with short lines and plentiful rides suitable for their 14-month and 5-year-old children.
  • “It was perfect…Finn could ride on a lot of the rides, which was super fun.” – Jinger [16:45]
  • Pro-tip from a park worker: “If you just go in the park a little bit, you will hit rides that have no wait.” [17:15]
• Disney Difficulties: In contrast, Disney earned a gentle critique for long lines and extra costs for enjoyable experiences.
  • “You needed to get the fast track to have to enjoy the day. So it's another $200 per for a fast pass…” – Jeremy [16:23]
• Highlights: The couple describes the awe of Miniland—a Lego metropolis constructed from over 20 million bricks—and the fun their girls had searching for a Lego figurine placed by a friend in the display [21:01].

The San Diego Zoo: Pandas and Childhood Nostalgia

• Jinger shares her lifelong love of pandas, recalling a childhood filled with panda-themed gifts.
• The family finally sees pandas, though their daughter Evie was underwhelmed after the build-up:
  • “She was not as excited as we thought…But going to see the pandas for real was like next level.” – Jinger [22:45]

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Main Theme: Pre-Marriage Nerves & Lessons Learned

Was Jeremy Nervous About Marrying Jinger?

• Nervousness Clarified:
  • “I was not nervous marrying you. I was very nervous to get married.” – Jeremy [25:43]
  • “All of my wildest dreams couldn't have compared to what marriage has been. But I was very nervous to get married growing up because I'd seen so many marriages explode.” – Jeremy [25:50]
• Navigating the Uncertainty of Marriage: Jeremy reflects on societal and personal anxiety stemming from seeing failed marriages, asserting how difficult it is for people to trust and to know if someone is truly trustworthy.
  • “Sometimes…I'm glad I'm past that [dating]…that wasn't the funnest time.” – Jeremy [26:24]
• Jinger Relates:
  • Acknowledges how tricky it is to “figure out who do I want to spend the rest of my life with.” Emphasizes trusting God, as certainty is elusive. [26:25]

Setting (Impossibly) High Expectations

• On Checklists and Compatibility:
  • “Do you think some people have too many things that lined up that they're trying to stay lined up?” – Jeremy [27:13]
  • Jinger agrees that people sometimes expect too much or expect static preferences, outlining how marriage inevitably changes both partners.
  • “There's so many things that have changed about me and my preferences, too, and also about you…it's funny how you've shifted.” – Jinger [27:23]
• Surprised by Marriage:
  • “There's no way to prepare for what happens in marriage...you just—there's no way to prepare for what happens in marriage, I feel like.” – Jeremy [28:00]
• Kids Change Everything:
  • Both discuss how adding children to marriage forces further growth and realignment of priorities:
    • “The biggest shift was...with your own kids. That's 100%, like, all on you.” – Jinger [30:39]

Considering Parenting Before Marriage

• Jinger’s Perspective:
  • She thought seriously about whether her partner would be a good father—especially coming from a large family.
  • “I thought about it for sure…But then nothing can fully prepare you for how it’s gonna be with your own kids.” – Jinger [30:24]
• Compliments for Jeremy:
  • Praises his energy and adaptability:
    • “You have a way of just making life fun and fun for them, fun for me…something I couldn't have pictured.” – Jinger [31:12]
• Jeremy’s Reflections:
  • Suggests that true “peace” about getting married came from their mutual honesty, not from perfection:
    • “There was a sincerity that we had discovered in each other that gave us safety.” – Jeremy [39:41]
    • “My whole life being nervous about getting married…but then…with you, it was like, oh, yeah, this is the girl.” [40:14]

Realism, Vulnerability, and Performing

• Issues in Religious Circles:
  • Both lament “performing” and the danger of overly perfect facades—especially common in religious and public environments.
    • “That scared me because they were too perfect…It was actually God that allowed you to marry me and help me to see that I don’t have to be like that.” – Jinger [37:03, 37:16]
  • “There can be. That's scarier rather than more comforting to have somebody who's perfectly, well, one time I got a little bit impatient several years ago…like, you're not being real with me.” – Jeremy [35:54]
• Letting Down the Guard:
  • Jinger appreciates Jeremy’s encouragement to be authentic—even on tough days.
    • “You have only wanted me to be myself and to…live life as a normal human—not to feel like I have to keep anything up for you.” – Jinger [38:09]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Marriage Nerves & Realism:
  • “All of my wildest dreams couldn’t have compared to what marriage has been.” – Jeremy [25:50]
  • “Was I naive? Probably…I had a lot of growing up to do. But…looking back, I don’t have anything that would change.” – Jinger [33:12]
• Vulnerability Over Perfection:
  • “That gave me more peace than somebody who was gonna say all the right things and be squeaky clean.” – Jinger [34:43]
• On Trust:
  • “You can only picture so much down the road…But seeing…the level of understanding…when Felicity has a big question…that’s something I’m so thankful for.” – Jinger [31:12]
• On Kids and Change:
  • “Marriage changes you…Even if it’s things that you thought you were never gonna change on, it’s funny how you’ve shifted.” – Jinger [27:23]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Timestamp | Topic | |-----------|------------------------------------------------| | 02:16 | Summer routines & family sleep schedules | | 04:44 | San Diego trip, Airbnb on the marina | | 15:24 | Legoland vs Disney with young kids | | 21:01 | Miniland at Legoland: 20 million Lego bricks | | 22:13 | San Diego Zoo & childhood panda memories | | 25:43 | Were you nervous before marrying me? | | 27:13 | Unrealistic expectations and marriage “checklists” | | 30:24 | Considering parenthood before marriage | | 33:12 | Wedding day: nerves or excitement? | | 35:44 | Authenticity vs. “too perfect” partners | | 38:09 | Performing, vulnerability, and real connection | | 39:41 | Honesty as foundation for peace in marriage |

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Tone & Language

True to the hosts' style, the conversation balances heartfelt sincerity with gentle humor and sincerity—Jeremy’s dry wit and self-effacing comments contrast with Jinger’s reflective warmth. They employ candid admissions about uncertainty and growth, steering listeners toward the importance of trust, authenticity, and grace in relationships. The dynamic is supportive, honest, and relatable to married couples and singles alike.

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Conclusion

This episode pairs relatable family vignettes and Los Angeles living with a thoughtful, honest conversation about the fears, surprises, and joys of committing to marriage. The candid recollections and mutual admiration between Jinger and Jeremy offer reassurance to anyone walking through seasons of dating, engagement, or marriage—underscoring that while perfection is an illusion, sincerity and shared faith provide a strong foundation for true partnership.

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Transcript

[A]

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[B]

I was not nervous marrying you. I was very nervous to get married.

[A]

You should have been.

[B]

There's no way to prepare for what happens in marriage.

[A]

I feel like you were easier to read, I think, than half of the people who were around. That scared me because they were too perfect and because I think I had a lot of that still in me where I was trying to perform, have everything together.

[B]

But that came out after marriage.

[A]

A lot of that did. And I think looking at that, I'm amazed that you even married me.

[B]

But did you feel like peace getting married or did you feel like a like, night before the wedding? What was going through your head? What's going on, guys? Welcome back to another episode of the Ginger and Jeremy podcast. What's going on, Ginger?

[A]

I'm sitting here in this cozy earth blanket wrapped around me. It's comfy.

[B]

Hey, it's not ad time yet. We don't have to do that yet.

[A]

This is comfy. I use it, like, every single day.

[B]

Hey, our ads are the real deal. We only advertise things that we like in those cozy earths. Good night, Ginge. I'm almost disappointed. It's summer because you don't have to use a cozy earth blanket.

[A]

But I do have to use it.

[B]

Well, yeah, I guess the AC works.

[A]

I never stop. I never stop using it.

[B]

Ging. It's summer and we're kind of in full summer swing right Now.

[A]

Yep. It's kind of crazy just how life changes in the summer. I think I'm getting just adjusted to not having as much of a strict schedule. And I don't know, I mean, I feel like it's. There are positive sides to it, there are negative sides to it.

[B]

One of the negatives is I'm not waking up consistently at the same time.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And that's something where when we were in the swing of a flow, you have to get up at a certain time to get everything done. And there's a little bit more sleeping, which can be good or bad.

[A]

Well, I feel like I've been sleeping in the past couple of days. And you get up with the kids, which is very helpful. But I've been tired.

[B]

Yeah. What is it about those? So I thought, you know, when Felicity's not got school schedule or the kiddos don't have to be somewhere super early, they would just sleep in. They're up at like 6:15.

[A]

Yeah, I don't know what that is. I think it's gonna take em a little bit to get adjusted. But also we're putting them to bed at the same time. So if we put them to bed early, they're gonna get up early. In theory, yeah.

[B]

But they.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

During the school year, they don't want to wake up early, they want to sleep in. And then when they don't have school, it's time to sleep in. They're up, ready to go.

[A]

It's crazy.

[B]

Although Finnegan has been sleeping a good amount and that's nice. He'll sleep in a good deal. But yeah, summer's here and it's beautiful. Right now we're kind of in Los Angeles in the perfect, perfect weather phase where it's cool still.

[A]

It is not miserable.

[B]

Yes, not miserable. It does mean the pool doesn't warm up as quick. So we really haven't had a lot of pool time yet.

[A]

Yeah, it's pretty icy. We went out there a couple weeks ago with some friends. When they visited, their kids got in the pool. Felicity decided to get in the pool. The kids were brave, but they didn't last super long. And we put Finn's feet in the pool one day and he just hated it. Cause it was ice. Started screaming like it was literally like ice water. Yeah, it was crazy.

[B]

Yeah, it takes a while for the water. Like, you can't just go out on your first warm day because the water's still icy. You gotta give it a few days for the water to warm up from the sun and then get in for sure.

[A]

Yeah. But we just got back from San Diego. Yeah, we had a fun time this year. We decided to stay. We decided not to, like, travel out of town for vacation. And I think that that was a good decision because we have traveled quite a bit recently when it's our time off. So, like, anytime, any little period of time we have off, we've been traveling. And so last summer, there were like, a ton of, like, little trips, I think that even you took with Felicity for, like, camps that you would speak at or whatever. But this year you were like, I want to actually just make sure that we have time together and not travel out of the state as much. And so that's kind of been our priority. And so we decided to do, like, little day trips or even just like a weekend trip somewhere in California. And so our first stop was San Diego. This is the first place we decided to go.

[B]

I honestly think if Los Angeles has, like, paradise weather, like, at the beach and everything, San Diego is better.

[A]

It's amazing.

[B]

I mean, it's incredible. And we did the San Diego Zoo, which we've been wanting to do for a while, and no shade to, like, Santa Barbara Zoo or the LA Zoo, but I'll just say San Diego is a zoo.

[A]

It's huge, it's serious, it's massive.

[B]

It's got the pandas. We've been wanting to see those pandas for a long time.

[A]

Yeah, we kept talking about, like, wanting to take a trip over there. Quite a few friends had invited me to, like, drive over for the day.

[B]

Yeah, that's right. It's a tough day trip, isn't it?

[A]

I can't do that with our kids. I don't think they're at the ages where they would handle it well. Finn does not love his car seat. And so to drive two and a half, three hours. It's actually three hours. To drive three hours over there in the morning and come back in the evening would be way too much for our kids.

[B]

That's a lot of driving.

[A]

So, yeah. Anyhow, I was glad that we were able to stay over. We stayed two nights in an Airbnb, and it was beautiful. It was right on the marina, and so we were able to see the water. The kids had, like, the private beach kind of. I mean, it wasn't, like, fancy, but it was gorgeous. It was actually beautiful.

[B]

Perfect for it.

[A]

And, yeah, there was a nice breeze. It was really, really fun.

[B]

So we had this little Airbnb to tell the people on, like, Ginger Cent on The marina, and there's the beach there. And we were second. Third story.

[A]

Third story.

[B]

And what became the funnest activity was Felicity and Evie would run down to the beach, and then we would take one of the soccer balls or the Nerf balls and throw it from the third story balcony down to the beach. And then they would retrieve it and try to throw it back up. Or I would go down and throw it up to my dad.

[A]

There's, like, a little foam ball.

[B]

You were not a big fan. You were nervous.

[A]

Okay? So I was freaking out because I was thinking, jeremy, we're staying in an Airbnb. This is probably not smart because it is all glass all the way across the front. So if you throw the ball up and you miss, like, no one catches it, there's potential for that glass to break.

[B]

And theoretically, in your mind.

[A]

In my mind. But you were throwing it, like, really, really hard. Like, a goalkeeper would throw it, you know, back, like, out.

[B]

Yeah. It was like playing soccer ball.

[A]

I don't know. That just. It felt dangerous. Your dad was playing with you. You guys were throwing it like children over the same.

[B]

I think all the grandpas can relate to this. My dad is on the St. 3rd floor. And Felicity challenged him, like, you can't hit me, grandpa. So every time I'd throw up this little Nerf ball, he would. Felicity would get distracted with shells, seashells, or be, like, exploring, digging in the sand, and he would try to nail her, and it would land, like, right next to her, and she'd always get shocked. Or at one time, it hit her in the back, and it was so cute, this little cat and mouse game. And he was having the time of his life, laughing hysterically. And she was. She wanted him to cheek. She wanted him to hit her. But then she'd get distracted with seashells.

[A]

So funny.

[B]

Incoming.

[A]

She just, like, forgot to look up, though, every time.

[B]

That's so funny.

[A]

Yeah, but that was fun. So we stayed there at the Airbnb. It was great.

[B]

Hey, I gotta say, Ginge, we gave Airbnb and VRBOs some flack over the years.

[A]

Oh, yeah, we did.

[B]

Because of that one story that happened to us before we had kids in Burbank. And it was not always what it appeared to be.

[A]

Tell the people how you actually ended up signing up again. It was because of that ad. You saw an ad?

[B]

Oh, yeah. Airbnb has great ads.

[A]

Like, turned on TV one night.

[B]

Yeah, well, it's because you stay in a hotel, and unless you multiply hotel rooms, if a kid Goes to sleep. Everybody has to go to sleep. Because you can't put a kid down to sleep on one bed and then on the next bed watching TV or like sitting on the balcony talking. So you're really hamstrung to the kids, their bed schedules. Same thing with waking up. You gotta tiptoe out the door. But then you don't know. You know you're out in the lobby, you don't know if the kids are asleep. Obviously we wouldn't bother.

[A]

We don't leave them out there.

[B]

But I'm saying, like for me, in

[A]

the morning, yeah, you would go get coffee or something.

[B]

And Airbnb has this ad where they show like the blueprint of the house and they show the parents putting the kid to bed in a room and then going out tiptoeing out, closing the door and then going downstairs, turning the TV on, eating like a normal house. And I'm like, this is it. Like, this is the way. So you gotta learn how to read the VRBO or Airbnb descriptions, you gotta look at reviews, you've got to do a little research. You've gotta Google Earth the area because that's another thing is they're gonna show you this beautiful photo from when the home was first built.

[A]

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[B]

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[A]

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[A]

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[B]

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[A]

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[B]

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[A]

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[B]

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[A]

Now back to the episode.

[B]

And then you gotta look up and

[A]

down the street to make sure that it's good.

[B]

Cause there was a couple, I was in Louisville with my dad a year ago or so. And a couple years ago and you're going, wow, this is beautiful. Then you show up to the place and go, oh my goodness. This is in a area that we do not want to be in. You know, so you just got to learn how to. But we've been staying in some really nice ones recently.

[A]

Yeah, for sure. I think that we've been pleased with the past couple visits that we've had.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I. Yeah, I think that what I love about it too is when we had your parents with us in San Diego, it was really helpful to like have a space for them. And they were like, let's see, how many bedrooms were upstairs? Two. Two bedrooms upstairs. And so we had our like master room. We had Finn in there with us. There was this massive walk in closet which was empty and it didn't like have a door or anything. But it's like separate from our Room. And so Finn had his whole room. Cause I just had a pack and play in there and it was quiet and so he could nap in there. It was perfect. And then we had our room. And then downstairs, Erdo next door to ours was like a kid's bedroom, which was perfect with its own bathroom. And so the girls were in there. And then there was like a stair down to the second story. And your parents had their whole suite. Basically.

[B]

It was a suite.

[A]

Yeah, it was incredible. So that was really the way to go for a trip. When you're traveling with a couple extra people, it's nice to have your own space.

[B]

There's something to me about vacation and beach towns. Where the best is you stay at a place like that and then you within walking distance is a little corner store and has everything you need just for the weekend. You know, bag of chips, water bottles, you need, you know, a little grocer and you, you get what you need.

[A]

You had to run there a couple times.

[B]

Yeah, it's the best three minute walk. I like that vibe. We're just kind of hanging out next

[A]

to the beach and then for breakfast in the morning, we were able to go over and get like some breakfast burritos and coffees from a local place right around the corner.

[B]

What was that place called? Something Fox. Curious Fox or something?

[A]

No, it was called Flying Fox. No. Nope, I don't think Fox. I think it did have fox in the name.

[B]

I remember there was something yellow or orange because there was. Anyway. Yeah, it was a good little spot.

[A]

Yeah, it was really good. The funky. The funky Fox.

[B]

I think it was Funky Fox. I like that.

[A]

If not there's something about funky.

[B]

We'll just call it that. The funky Orange Fox. So. Okay, talk about. Let's talk about Legoland first. Because we went there, Legoland was fantastic. It's perfect for our age, kids.

[A]

Oh yeah. So when we did Disney, for any of you Disney people, you're gonna think I'm crazy. What I'm about to say. We did Disney and I think that going in, I was not sure what to expect. But also like, I heard that Disney was a beast. I knew that we should have probably prepared a little bit better. But like when we got there, the line to get in, it took us how long? An hour?

[B]

Yeah, probably.

[A]

And we were there decently early in

[B]

the morning at the start time.

[A]

Yeah. And it was kind of crazy. And so Disney also was super crowded. And all the rides, the waits were like the least amount, I think was crazy.

[B]

Well, you needed to get the fast track to have to enjoy the day.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So it's another $200 per for a fast pass or whatever.

[A]

I didn't realize. I mean, I guess I knew the lines were gonna be long, but I thought, oh, even the kids rides, like, surely they're gonna have some that you can hop on, you know, pretty quickly in 10 minutes or something. Just wasn't the case. It was like 30, 35, 40 minutes.

[B]

And that's a lot when you've got a kid, they're excited to go on, and then you're like, okay, but we're gonna sit here for a half an hour.

[A]

Yeah. And it was a little five years old. It was a little bit tricky. So anyhow, going to Legoland, I feel like it was perfect for our kids in this age. They also, like, they had a ton of kids rides. So when you walk in, it's like kids rides everywhere. So if you have older kids, it may not be best, but, like, unless they're, like, super into Legos. But it was perfect because Finn could ride on a lot of the rides, which was super fun. He's 14 months.

[B]

It wasn't lost on him. He enjoyed them.

[A]

He loved it. Like, he was looking around at all the dinosaurs on one of the first rides we rode, and he was looking around, like, trying to talk to them, grab them. It was so awesome.

[B]

Yeah, it's the best when the kids are at an age where when they see inanimate objects, but they greet them like you and I would greet old friends or family. Like when grandma comes to the door and you go, grandma. You know, every dinosaur is, ah, ah, ah. You know, he's all cute. He loved it.

[A]

It was so cute. So we did that, and then we walked around to, like, all the different rides. And every. Every ride we went to did not have a line. I say that now. When we first walked in, the very first ride we went to the guy, one of the workers walked up and we were in the back of the line, and he said, oh, this line's gonna take an hour. He said, close to an hour. 45 minutes to an hour for this line. He said, but the reason is everybody walked to the park and went to the first ride. He said, if you just go around them, if you go around them, go in the park a little bit, you will hit rides that have no weight.

[B]

And you know what's funny is we never did that ride.

[A]

We never did that ride. We came back later, and it was like everybody who was leaving, it was the last ride, and it still had a long line. And so we just did all the other rides but the lines for, like, 10 minutes maybe. And you even said when we first got there, like, are we gonna need, like, a fast pass? And we didn't, like, the whole day. It was really accessible.

[B]

Well, I'm. I pull. So this is where Ginger and I. If you watched our Rachel Cruz episode on Money, and Ginger's the saver, I tend to be the suspender. But it's in moments like that where I know fast passes are designed to get suckers like me, where you're there and you go, okay, we've done everything to get here. We have the Airbnb, we have Grandma and Grandpa here. We got the kids in the car. They're not screaming or upset. Like, we have breakfast. We're here. And then you gotta sit in a line for 30 minutes. That's. They're targeting people like me to go, hey, just get the fast pass. You're like, zoop. To the straight front of the line. So I'm minded to be like, just get the fast pass and not think about, like, before we were planning out the vacation. We're like, okay, this is a good price. This will be this price. But then in the moment, you're like, forget all that. Let's just, you know, we gotta enjoy this day. And you're like, no, no, no, give it a minute. Right?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And it's like, okay, let's see how this goes. And then you realize, oh, no, this is, like, totally, like, reasonable.

[A]

It was a different experience than Disney was in a positive way. I did not. I mean, there was. It's well taken care of. The whole place seemed to be very well taken care of. It wasn't run down. You didn't feel like, oh, it's like, not. There's not a vibe happening here. Like, it was exciting, it was fun, it was interesting. There was people all around, but it wasn't crowded. And so that was part of it, I think, just because of the layout.

[B]

Yeah, it's a great layout.

[A]

It was excellent. Like, really well done. And then they had playgrounds everywhere. We did not actually hitting up, like, I don't think we hit up any playgrounds, but you could see them, like, all throughout. That was really awesome.

[B]

And then Finn loved playing in the dirt wherever we went. So that was cool. I will say that one of the best parts of Legoland was Miniland, this incredible city. I mean, they've got cities. They've got Manhattan, Las Vegas, Hong Kong. I think they've got where Los Angeles, Los Angeles, they've got San Francisco. All these cities made out of legos. And it's something. I'm gonna look it up. It's like an insane amount of hours.

[A]

They would say this took so many hours, this many hours to, like, make the city right? And then it took, you know, if it's like 300. I mean, 30. 30,000 Legos or 300,000 for however many the whole town.

[B]

So it says it's pulling it up here. 20 plus million bricks for all the Miniland USA insane took three years to build. Before the park opened in 1999, it used more than 20 million Lego bricks. That's insane. What was really cool is we have a friend who I was actually supposed to meet with the next day, and I said, hey, I'm gonna be down in San Diego if we could push our meeting. And I told him I'd be at Legoland. And he said, oh, okay, look for this and this in Legoland. Turns out he was one of 25 people who were on a focus group when Legoland was revamping or whatever in, like, 2019. 2020. And so he had all of this say into, you know, how they redid things. But he got to put a little figurine. Figurine of himself that he, like, designed into Miniland that was super cool. And so we told the girls, and we went around and had to search for it and find this little figurine.

[A]

Felicity was all about that.

[B]

It was crazy.

[A]

She was on the hunt. She was like, what does it look like? I need to find it first. It was super cute.

[B]

Okay. Then we hit up the zoo, and the zoo was great. First of all, they've got pandas.

[A]

They have pandas.

[B]

Aside from just being a really wonderful geopolitical, relational piece with us in China, I mean, those things have carry some political weight. I don't know if you knew that if China's, like, upset with us, they'll, like, take their pandas back.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah. It's a whole political thing.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

But pandas were there.

[A]

Pandas were there.

[B]

I don't know if their names were Peter, but we saw Peter Panda, and Evie was a little underwhelmed.

[A]

She was not as excited as we thought. Okay. So I grew up. Pandas were my favorite animal growing up. And so my mom got me, like, all the panda things, and so she actually, like, made me a homemade dress that had pandas on it. And she had, like, panda things from, like, the dollar store I still have. It's like those ceramic little pandas that, like, sit on your nightstand. And then I had, like, panda picture frames, keychains, backpack, everything panda. And so I just passed that down to our girls, and especially Evie, because she's obsessed with pandas. And so, yeah, going to see the pandas for real was like. It was next level seeing the pandas.

[B]

We didn't see them do anything dumb like fall off the branches.

[A]

They were, like, sleeping, but still.

[B]

So there's a gondola that goes, gosh, I don't know, 30 stories high and over the zoo. And, I mean, it's like, you see, you're looking into, like, downtown San Diego, and, like, airline or airplanes are coming and landing. They seem like they're probably higher, but they seem like they're same level as you. And I was looking over the edge, which would have terrified you, because you're not strapped in or anything. Just, you know, this little rickety thing. And there's one of the pandas laying on its back.

[A]

Oh, my goodness. In bamboo.

[B]

It was kind of cute.

[A]

That's amazing.

[B]

Yeah, it was a fun time. It was a great day spent running around the zoo. So I highly recommend that for a little vacation. But, Ginge, that's not even what we're kind of talking about today. We were talking about in the car the other day was about. We were reflecting about getting married, and we started talking about whether or not we were nervous before getting married.

[A]

Were you nervous before marrying me, getting married in general or marrying me? We want to take a break from this episode to tell you about pocket hose.

[B]

I love pocket hose. I use it all the time. It's strong, it's easy to use, easy to put away. I think that's got to be the number one issue for me. Hoses, putting them away, they become this hassle. And then if you go around my house, you would see all these hoses laying around in the yard. But with pocket hose, it expands when the water comes. It compresses when the water's out. It's easy to put away. It's clean, it's sharp. Man, am I excited about a hose. But pocket hose really is where it's at.

[A]

And if you need a Father's Day gift, this is seriously the best Father's Day gift. So go ahead and get yours today.

[B]

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[A]

It's amazing. I did know that.

[B]

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[A]

Now back to the episode.

[B]

I was not nervous marrying you. I was very nervous to get married.

[A]

Maybe you should have been kidding.

[B]

No, I shouldn't have been. All of my wildest dreams couldn't have compared to what marriage has been. But I was very nervous to get married growing up because I'd seen so many marriages explode. And I was like, how am I ever going to marry someone that I, you know, actually can trust? And, you know, it's crazy. Like, you see all our friends and different people who are not married and they're in the dating world, and sometimes, you know, I'm like, man, I'm glad I'm past that because that wasn't the funnest time.

[A]

It is a tough season to be in, and for anyone who's there, like, I do feel for you. I mean, like, it's really tricky when you're trying to figure out, who do I want to spend the rest of my life with? And yeah, like you said, I think just because there's so many failed marriages around, it's really, really tricky to know, like, who is that person? How can I know who they truly are? And there's a lot of questions that you're asking yourself. And, like, even very basic things like, what do they? Like, do we have anything in common? Stuff like that. And trying to get everything. It feels like a lot to, like, get everything to line up, you know, in your own mind. But then also, that's where it comes to trusting God with that, because it's, like, really hard. Like, you cannot. You can't manipulate that, you know?

[B]

And, like, do you think some people have too many things that lined up that they're trying to stay lined up?

[A]

I do think so. You know what I mean?

[B]

Like, oh, they've got to be this, this, this, this, this, this.

[A]

Yeah, I think that you can have your expectations too high on what you want. And some of those things can be more just, like, based on preference. And like you've always said, marriage changes you. And so that's something that I think even when we were first talking, there's so many things that have changed about me and my preferences, too, and also about you and what you like to do. And so even if it's on hobbies or things that you thought you were never gonna change on. It's funny how you've shifted.

[B]

Isn't it? Kind of crazy? Like, we had no idea.

[A]

Yeah. No clue.

[B]

Like, we thought we had a conception of what marriage would be like. In some ways it's lived up to that because everybody has. I mean, we've seen marriages. We have parents who are married. And so in some way, your expectations of what marriage will be like are true and accurate. But then it's something you have to experience. And we had no clue. We were just little spring chickens. I wasn't as spring as you had a couple springs before, but, like, we were just young. Kind of like, I don't know, clueless isn't the word, but you just. There's no way to prepare for what happens in marriage. I feel like.

[A]

I think you're right. Yeah.

[B]

The level of sacrifice or the level of change or the level of.

[A]

I think that most of that is, especially for us, a lot of that change comes with having kids.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And so that's where I feel like it was the biggest shift was because you see how you are able. You're interacting different. Like, even with kids, when you're sleep deprived at 2am and when they're screaming in the car drive, you know, for an hour, it's like those seasons are hard. And then seeing that person be sacrificial, be selfless in that time, it really says probably the most about you because it's easier to be kind and loving when you're having fun. You don't have any of those responsibilities on you. You have the responsibility of, like, providing, you know, and making sure that, you know, you're. You're doing all the things you're supposed to do in normal life, even without kids. But adding kids to a marriage and all the dynamics that come with that.

[B]

Right.

[A]

You think about dentist appointments, doctor's appointments, all the things it's like nonstop for. For making sure that they have what they need, getting the right schooling that they need, and what are we going to do for sports? What are we going to do for activities? So much is focused on making sure that they are doing the best they are, they can and they're thriving. And then you're joining forces for that. And so, yeah, I think it's just there's.

[B]

Did you think about that stuff before getting married? Or was that not even, like, did you think about, oh, I'm marrying someone who will be my children's father?

[A]

Oh, 100%.

[B]

How deep did that thinking go?

[A]

Yeah, I thought about it for sure, because especially being from a large family, like, that was something that was always on my mind. But then nothing can fully prepare you for how it's gonna be with your own kids.

[B]

Right?

[A]

That's 100%, like, all on you. And it's a different shift.

[B]

Were you nervous about that? Like, will this person, whoever I marry, even before I was in the picture, like, were you nervous, like, oh, the guy is going to have to, you know, be my kid's father?

[A]

I think I felt like you were so much fun and so natural around kids that I thought, okay, you're gonna be a great dad. Like, you're gonna be a lot of fun. And you have only been way more. I feel like you. You're way more able to, like, adapt with, like, the kids crazy stuff. I feel like sometimes I'm like, maybe I don't put up with as much. I'm like, okay, we need to, like, get to bed. Let's do this. But if they're, like, they're high energy, you'll run and play with them, get all their energy out. And I don't have the energy to do that all the time. And you have a way of just making life fun and fun for them, fun for me. And I think that that's something that I couldn't have pictured. Like, who. You can only picture so much down the road, but, like, seeing even with the challenges that certain temperaments and personalities bring, that level of, like, understanding, you're able to, like, communicate well with them, break things down when. When Felicity has a big question that she has to ask you, and that's something that, Yeah, I. I'm so thankful for. Like, you're super fun. We all love you, and just doing life with you has been awesome.

[B]

Oh, that's sweet. Obviously, we couldn't have predicted every, you know, all of our life together, but did you feel like, peace getting married, or did you feel like the night before the wedding, what was going through your head?

[A]

I was super excited for starting life together, and I was not nervous at all to marry you, because I knew. I think I had had some conversations before, too, about just the fear that I had around marriage because I had seen so much that was hard for me to see. And that was something that I knew I wanted somebody that I could fully trust, walk into marriage knowing this is who I want to marry. This is who I want to spend the rest of my life with and not have that fear. So I had zero fear on the day of our wedding. I don't know if that's good or bad half the time when you walk into something.

[B]

But do you think it was naive or do you think it was like, I probably was.

[A]

I was a little bit naive. Like, in general, I think I had a lot of growing up to do. But also it wasn't a bad. I mean, looking back, I don't have anything that would change.

[B]

It's interesting. I think a lot of people have this, like, this can be romantic and so they have this. They're in love with the idea of love or in love with the idea of marriage. And so then somebody seems to fit the mold and they can really, like, build up and buy into it. Where you might go, hey, you should like, objectively think about some other things here in marriage. Like, you should be more nervous than you are. I don't know if that's a good thing of like, sometimes I think there's. If we thought too objectively about, we could freak ourselves out with everything. Right? Like, especially as believers who value marriage as a divine institution and don't look at like a no fault divorce as an option. But you go like, hey, if you really think, like, this is gonna affect every single moment of every single day of every single hour of every single week, month, year for the rest of my life, like, this is a weighty decision. You have to balance the weightiness of that along with the joy and the very real feelings of chemistry and attraction and all of that. And I don't know if anybody gets it perfectly right, but it's a lot weighing on you as you enter that.

[A]

Yeah, for sure. But I think it also means if you've had time to process and think through a lot of things. We talked about so much, I think, I mean, we talked about every single topic. And I think that that's part of the side of it where it did put me at ease knowing, like, okay, I mean, anybody can say the right things for sure and have all the right answers. But it wasn't like that for you. You were more real and just like even honest. And I think that that gave me more peace than somebody who was gonna say all the right things and be squeaky clean across the board and have, you know, like, just to put that. Just to put me at ease. And so I think that you were like, very real. And yeah, you just, you were easier to read, I think, than half of the people who were around that maybe had shown interest and stuff. And I was like, that scared me because they were too perfect and.

[B]

Oh, man, too perfect. That's one of the things that I think in a religious setting, sometimes you meet someone and go, man, you're too, you're too like neat and tidy.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, what's your biggest struggle? And the person's like, well, at times I'm too humble and I need to be a little more assertive. And you're like, come on, dude, we all know that we're living in the same human experience in this very messy, sin plagued world. Let's be real, let's be honest. And there can be. That's scarier rather than more comforting.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

To have somebody who's like perfectly well one time I got a little bit impatient several years ago, you know, it's like, oh, come on, dude, like, you're not being real with me. That's one of the things is like, I think I feared because growing up in a church setting, you would see people who you're going, oh, man. From every single outward expression, they seemed so perfect and their life blew up in a dramatic way. It's like, because it was all a facade and that's all we were seeing. Right.

[A]

And I do think that probably when we got married, there was some of that in me where I would look back at like, I mean, probably anybody would go back and watch the show that we were on. Right. It was like, don't do that. But

[B]

I don't even know if you can anymore. Like, I don't even know if you can't.

[A]

Yeah, I don't know. But it was interesting to see because I think I had a lot of that still in me where I was trying to perform, have everything together.

[B]

But that came out after marriage, a

[A]

lot of that did. And I think looking at that, I'm amazed that you even married me because I think it was really, God, that that allowed you to marry me and help me to see that I don't have to be like that, you know, I don't have to perform. And I had my heart was. I think my heart was genuine and wanting to do what was right. But I also had that other side of it where it was like trying to make everybody happy all the time.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

By being, trying to have a perfect facade on. And so that's. That's something that I'm thankful. The further into life I go, I want to be more real in that way and not feel like I have to put on a front, you know, just genuine.

[B]

It allows for yourself. Yeah. Vulnerability, share when you're having a hard

[A]

day with your friend and let him know because like life Is not always easy. And I think that that's part of where it's been awesome to do life with you because you have encouraged me throughout the years to not, you know, don't keep up, like. Like, I don't know how to say this, but, like, just even on a hard day to, like, it's. It's okay. We all have hard days. Don't. Because I think part of the performance mindset that it came from continued for some years. And you have only wanted me to be myself and to be able to just relax and live life, you know, as a normal human, not to feel like I have to keep anything up for you. And that's super helpful. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. Well, it's the basis of, like, relationship.

[A]

It is. Yeah. For anybody, any relationship. That's how it has been with friendships, too. So, yeah, I don't know. I think that's kind of a. It's a deeper topic, but I think definitely walking into marriage, there was so much that we didn't know that. I mean, it's actually kind of great because, like, you don't want to know everything that's going to happen in the future because then it steals you, Robs you of the joy today. And so I think that that's where I also have to remember that, you know, moving forward in life, it can be easy to fear the what ifs and just to trust God and all those things is needful.

[B]

Yeah, you can make the best decision you can with the information you have. And that's the other thing too, is like, there are some people, sure, listening, but people in my life who I've known who did marry someone turned out not to be the person they thought or whatever, or the person's life just goes off the rails. Well, that person can sit there and with a good conscience go, I did what I knew to be right at the time with all the information I had, and this person was deceiving me. Or this person has made some really horrible life decisions, and you go, wow. I mean, you can't control everything. Right? There's not like a surefire button you can press where God says, hey, I checked out everything. It's all good. This one. Every decision from here on out will be perfect. But yeah, I remember having such a peace and a joy. And I think it was because what you're getting at, like, there was a sincerity that we had discovered in each other that gave us safety. Like a sincerity that led to safety. I think that's something that really gave peace. Knowing, man, I don't Like, I remember my whole life being nervous about getting married. Like, the concept of it, wanting to be married, of course, but, like, man, how am I gonna know? And then not even thinking about that with you, it was like, oh, yeah, this is the girl. And people had always told me, like, you're so picky or you're this or that when it came to, like, a girl. And I'm like, I just haven't met my wife yet. I'd always say that. Just haven't met my wife yet. And then we met, and very soon after, I was like, oh, yeah, you know, that's the one.

[A]

And it's, you know, so sweet.

[B]

Stay true. Anyway, well, Ginge, I don't know. That was such a random little conversation we had the other day. But I thought, man, that'd be a funny little fun little topic to take up on the pod. But it's been a great start to the summer. I'm excited for these summer months, and we've got some more adventures we'll go on.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So looking forward to that.

[A]

Yeah, we're looking forward to those.

[B]

And one of them being marriage. Marriage has been a fun adventure.

[A]

It's been good.

[B]

Yeah. Keeps getting better. All right, well, we got to check out now, but thanks for hanging out for these few minutes, and we'll. We'll see you guys next week.